1
00:00:02,521 --> 00:00:03,955
Before we start,

2
00:00:04,023 --> 00:00:06,123
I'd like to have a preliminary powwow,

3
00:00:06,191 --> 00:00:08,763
or prelimi-wow, about what I'm calling

4
00:00:08,830 --> 00:00:10,991
our library's backdoor conundrum.

5
00:00:11,059 --> 00:00:12,746
Sounds like a porno with Kate Winslet.

6
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:13,948
Abed, ew.

7
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:16,790
The door on that side
is locked after 5:00,

8
00:00:16,857 --> 00:00:19,532
which means that most of us
have to walk all the way around.

9
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,237
Now, if we were to move
our meetings to 4:30...

10
00:00:21,304 --> 00:00:22,976
- No.
- No.

11
00:00:23,044 --> 00:00:27,052
I have a regular class at that time.

12
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,525
It's like math or
other regular classes.

13
00:00:29,593 --> 00:00:32,130
I have something unimportant
that can't ever move.

14
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:34,135
Well, maybe one of us
could stand by the back door

15
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,470
and let the rest in?

16
00:00:35,537 --> 00:00:37,573
- I nominate Pierce.
- Where is he?

17
00:00:37,641 --> 00:00:39,410
I have not seen him around all day.

18
00:00:39,478 --> 00:00:42,214
I haven't either.

19
00:00:42,282 --> 00:00:43,583
- Well, has anyone called him?
- I did.

20
00:00:43,651 --> 00:00:45,587
Several times, actually,
but he never returned my calls.

21
00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:47,923
Oh, no!

22
00:00:47,991 --> 00:00:50,394
Oh, the last thing
I said to him was "suck it".

23
00:00:50,461 --> 00:00:52,096
- Me too.
- Good morning.

24
00:00:52,164 --> 00:00:53,833
- Oh!
- Yes!

25
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,604
Thank God.

26
00:00:55,672 --> 00:00:57,039
You thought I was dead, didn't you?

27
00:00:57,107 --> 00:00:58,368
<i>No...</i>

28
00:00:58,369 --> 00:00:59,208
I did.

29
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:01,544
You people have any idea
how emasculating that is?

30
00:01:01,612 --> 00:01:03,080
I'm not Mickey Rooney.

31
00:01:03,148 --> 00:01:05,049
You don't have to cross your
fingers to see if I'll show up.

32
00:01:05,117 --> 00:01:06,517
You know, when I was 30,

33
00:01:06,585 --> 00:01:09,387
people used to wish that
I was dead to my face!

34
00:01:09,455 --> 00:01:12,391
That's called respect.

35
00:01:12,459 --> 00:01:14,293
Who is the lucky brunette?

36
00:01:14,361 --> 00:01:16,629
Last name Beeswax,
first name none-a-ya.

37
00:01:16,697 --> 00:01:18,432
Oh, my third wife was biracial.

38
00:01:18,499 --> 00:01:21,302
- Stop it!
- I am just trying to help

39
00:01:21,370 --> 00:01:23,605
keep you out of trouble.
What if the next girl saw these?

40
00:01:23,672 --> 00:01:25,440
Well, then she would know it was hers.

41
00:01:25,508 --> 00:01:27,676
Jeff!

42
00:01:27,744 --> 00:01:30,045
You're sleeping with a woman
you already slept with?

43
00:01:30,113 --> 00:01:31,547
Can't I be the friend in the group

44
00:01:31,615 --> 00:01:33,549
whose trademark is his
well-defined boundaries,

45
00:01:33,617 --> 00:01:36,219
like privacy smurf, discreet bear or...

46
00:01:36,287 --> 00:01:37,487
confidentiality spice?

47
00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:38,622
But if you like her,

48
00:01:38,689 --> 00:01:40,157
why would you want to
keep her a secret?

49
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,325
Don't you want us to meet her?

50
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,594
We have an agreement
to keep it low-key.

51
00:01:43,662 --> 00:01:45,396
That's ridiculous.
Obviously, it's a guy.

52
00:01:45,464 --> 00:01:47,765
You're wrong, Pierce.
It's two guys.

53
00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:49,935
Sometimes I do wish you were dead.

54
00:01:50,002 --> 00:01:51,937
Thank you.

55
00:01:52,005 --> 00:01:58,639
Sync by honeybunny - Corrected by 4be1
www.addic7ed.com

56
00:02:00,748 --> 00:02:02,249
What's up, bro?

57
00:02:02,317 --> 00:02:03,317
Boo!

58
00:02:03,385 --> 00:02:05,153
Hey, what's up, J-Dog?

59
00:02:05,221 --> 00:02:06,255
Woof, woof, woof, woof!

60
00:02:06,323 --> 00:02:07,823
Yeah!

61
00:02:07,891 --> 00:02:08,925
How you doing?

62
00:02:08,993 --> 00:02:10,560
♪ We're too gangsta for TV ♪

63
00:02:10,628 --> 00:02:12,296
♪ That's why you don't see us ♪

64
00:02:12,363 --> 00:02:13,998
♪ But they still wanna be us ♪

65
00:02:20,171 --> 00:02:22,305
Sorry I'm late.

66
00:02:33,685 --> 00:02:35,219
Professor Slater, quick question.

67
00:02:35,287 --> 00:02:36,688
You know the answer, Mr. Winger.

68
00:02:36,755 --> 00:02:37,922
I don't date students,

69
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:39,924
even if you are no longer
in my statistics class.

70
00:02:39,992 --> 00:02:41,860
I'm actually kind of
seeing someone right now,

71
00:02:41,927 --> 00:02:43,661
- thank you very much.
- Really? How's that going?

72
00:02:43,729 --> 00:02:45,597
Fine for now. She's smart and pretty.

73
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,265
But sometimes I feel like
she's just waiting for me

74
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,301
to stop talking and take off my pants.

75
00:02:50,369 --> 00:02:53,004
She is.

76
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:57,175
I've never been someone's
dirty little secret.

77
00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:59,310
I've never had a dirty little secret.

78
00:02:59,378 --> 00:03:00,779
It's so unprofessional.

79
00:03:00,846 --> 00:03:02,881
But the sneaking does
make the sex 38% hotter.

80
00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:05,216
Wow, you do like statistics,
don't you?

81
00:03:07,386 --> 00:03:09,554
Hey, midterms and whatever.

82
00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:11,022
Chalk.

83
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:12,991
Professor Slater,
there's that transcript you wanted.

84
00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:14,626
Jeff, I didn't expect to see you here.

85
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:17,095
Hopefully, I'm not... interrupting.

86
00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:21,966
You know, we laugh... but the fact is,

87
00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:24,202
student/teacher relationships
do happen,

88
00:03:24,269 --> 00:03:25,937
and they are a magnet for lawsuits.

89
00:03:26,005 --> 00:03:27,238
So we do stay vigilant.

90
00:03:27,306 --> 00:03:30,041
In fact, physically attractive
students and faculty

91
00:03:30,108 --> 00:03:31,843
are actually placed on a watch list

92
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:33,611
and are ranked by their potential

93
00:03:33,679 --> 00:03:35,079
to incite fraternization.

94
00:03:35,147 --> 00:03:36,747
You rank people by how hot they are?

95
00:03:36,815 --> 00:03:39,016
You got it... number two.

96
00:03:39,084 --> 00:03:41,118
- Dean Pelton.
- Yes, Professor Seven...

97
00:03:41,186 --> 00:03:43,587
- Uh, Slater.
- I'll return this tomorrow.

98
00:03:43,655 --> 00:03:44,588
Okay, then.

99
00:03:44,656 --> 00:03:46,357
You guys be extra careful now.

100
00:03:46,424 --> 00:03:49,627
Two people of your rankings
in this small a room...

101
00:03:49,694 --> 00:03:52,362
with this type of lighting
and his upper body

102
00:03:52,430 --> 00:03:55,132
and what her heels and
hemline are doing

103
00:03:55,199 --> 00:03:58,101
to enhance what were already
quite a few favors from God...

104
00:03:58,169 --> 00:04:01,104
it's all the more important
to keep it tasteful.

105
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,381
- I think he might have ruined...
- It's dead.

106
00:04:19,554 --> 00:04:20,721
Oh, I can't wait for the recital.

107
00:04:20,789 --> 00:04:23,790
You are all wonderful,
especially you, Troy.

108
00:04:23,858 --> 00:04:26,492
Thank you, madame leclair.

109
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:30,396
And if any of you mention
my dancing outside of class,

110
00:04:30,464 --> 00:04:32,030
I will break off your legs

111
00:04:32,098 --> 00:04:37,268
and use them to smash
in your friends' cars.

112
00:04:37,336 --> 00:04:38,836
- Oh!
- Huh!

113
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:44,041
<i>Oh, my God!</i>

114
00:04:46,177 --> 00:04:49,078
Troy, since when have you
taken modern dance?

115
00:04:49,146 --> 00:04:50,379
Since last semester.

116
00:04:50,447 --> 00:04:52,314
Coach told me it would
help with my coordination,

117
00:04:52,382 --> 00:04:55,416
and I fell in love with it,
in a very straight way.

118
00:04:55,484 --> 00:04:57,185
I know it's tempting to sneak a peek,

119
00:04:57,252 --> 00:04:59,353
but I'm gonna need for you
to keep your eyes up here!

120
00:04:59,421 --> 00:05:02,256
God, I should have never
dismissed you as a shallow jock.

121
00:05:02,323 --> 00:05:04,658
Then again, we haven't really
spent that much time together.

122
00:05:04,725 --> 00:05:06,526
That's because you don't play football

123
00:05:06,594 --> 00:05:07,527
or have fun.

124
00:05:07,595 --> 00:05:08,861
I have fun tap-dancing.

125
00:05:08,929 --> 00:05:10,596
I started last semester too.

126
00:05:10,664 --> 00:05:12,631
It was always something
that I wanted to do,

127
00:05:12,699 --> 00:05:15,467
but it was too embarrassing,
so I never told anyone.

128
00:05:15,535 --> 00:05:18,269
Same here. Britta...

129
00:05:18,337 --> 00:05:21,205
- Nobody can know about this.
- Troy, who are we kidding?

130
00:05:21,273 --> 00:05:23,474
Look at how much time
and energy we're putting

131
00:05:23,541 --> 00:05:25,509
into hiding something that
we're passionate about.

132
00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:26,943
We are leading a double life.

133
00:05:27,011 --> 00:05:29,278
I am spending a lot of
money on breakaway clothing.

134
00:05:29,346 --> 00:05:32,548
We should look at this as
an opportunity to come clean.

135
00:05:32,616 --> 00:05:35,217
Are you saying we tell
the group, together?

136
00:05:35,284 --> 00:05:39,353
We could invite them to
the dance recital on Friday.

137
00:05:39,421 --> 00:05:41,355
Man, I don't know.

138
00:05:41,423 --> 00:05:44,357
Let me think about it.

139
00:05:47,995 --> 00:05:49,962
Okay, let's do this.

140
00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:51,764
- Ahem!
- Sorry.

141
00:05:53,499 --> 00:05:55,500
Mr. Winger.
Would you come to my office?

142
00:05:55,568 --> 00:05:58,502
We never finished our intercourse.

143
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:00,470
I have study group right now,

144
00:06:00,538 --> 00:06:03,306
and nobody uses intercourse to
mean anything other than sex.

145
00:06:03,373 --> 00:06:05,507
This is a wall of windows.

146
00:06:05,575 --> 00:06:07,275
My study group's behind it.

147
00:06:07,343 --> 00:06:08,476
I know.

148
00:06:08,543 --> 00:06:10,644
As soon as we touch,
the blinds will open,

149
00:06:10,711 --> 00:06:12,412
and six annoying but loveable misfits

150
00:06:12,479 --> 00:06:13,913
will be staring at us.

151
00:06:13,981 --> 00:06:16,715
Come on, what are the odds?

152
00:06:16,783 --> 00:06:18,150
Fine.

153
00:06:26,091 --> 00:06:28,158
- Now, was that so bad?
- Mm-mm.

154
00:06:28,226 --> 00:06:29,226
Hey!

155
00:06:29,294 --> 00:06:33,063
Could you open the back door?

156
00:06:39,977 --> 00:06:41,543
You all remember Michelle Slater,

157
00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:43,145
my professor from last semester?

158
00:06:43,213 --> 00:06:45,914
As most of you may realize by now,

159
00:06:45,981 --> 00:06:49,083
she's the woman
I've been seeing lately.

160
00:06:49,151 --> 00:06:52,085
Why are they looking at me
like I'm a zoo animal?

161
00:06:52,153 --> 00:06:53,920
Well, Jeff acts as sort
of the dad of the group,

162
00:06:53,988 --> 00:06:55,889
so emotionally this is
kind of like being told

163
00:06:55,956 --> 00:06:57,223
that you're our new mom.

164
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,125
But you know it's
nothing like that, right?

165
00:06:59,193 --> 00:07:00,659
Absolutely. Do you cook macaroni?

166
00:07:00,727 --> 00:07:02,161
- I have.
- Macaroni's my favorite.

167
00:07:02,228 --> 00:07:05,197
The important thing
is we all understand

168
00:07:05,264 --> 00:07:09,433
Professor Slater and
I need this to be our little secret.

169
00:07:09,501 --> 00:07:10,668
Everyone understand that?

170
00:07:10,735 --> 00:07:12,069
- Yeah.
- Yes. I do like macaroni.

171
00:07:12,137 --> 00:07:15,271
Sure.

172
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,907
See? All good.

173
00:07:17,974 --> 00:07:20,843
Well, thank you, everyone.
I appreciate it.

174
00:07:20,911 --> 00:07:22,411
I should get going.

175
00:07:22,479 --> 00:07:24,880
- Ooh!
- Ooh...

176
00:07:28,384 --> 00:07:30,818
- Bye.
- Bye.

177
00:07:30,886 --> 00:07:32,920
Well, Jeff,

178
00:07:32,988 --> 00:07:35,756
you've taken a big step in
knocking down the barriers

179
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:38,258
between students and teachers...

180
00:07:38,326 --> 00:07:40,693
- Just like Rosa Parks.
- I don't think it's like that.

181
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:41,761
No, it's just like that.

182
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:43,262
I feel if you need to explain it,

183
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,796
it's not just like that.

184
00:07:45,864 --> 00:07:48,098
Is your heart gonna be okay with this?

185
00:07:48,166 --> 00:07:50,633
I will try to find
the tools to survive.

186
00:07:50,701 --> 00:07:52,669
Okay.

187
00:07:52,736 --> 00:07:54,670
Hey, everybody, speaking of secrets,

188
00:07:54,738 --> 00:07:57,006
Troy and I have something that
we would like to announce.

189
00:07:57,074 --> 00:07:58,941
- Oh!
- No. No.

190
00:07:59,009 --> 00:08:00,776
There's a dance recital on Friday,

191
00:08:00,843 --> 00:08:02,610
and I would be honored
if you guys would attend,

192
00:08:02,678 --> 00:08:06,046
because since last semester, I...

193
00:08:06,114 --> 00:08:08,448
have been taking a tap class.

194
00:08:10,784 --> 00:08:12,651
That's... f... funny.

195
00:08:12,719 --> 00:08:15,019
Well, I don't know how funny it is.

196
00:08:15,087 --> 00:08:17,821
Come on... we're not making fun of you.

197
00:08:17,889 --> 00:08:19,589
But obviously, you kept it a secret

198
00:08:19,657 --> 00:08:21,791
- because you saw the irony too.
- Irony?

199
00:08:21,858 --> 00:08:23,992
Well, you're not a typically
vulnerable or feminine person,

200
00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:25,426
and the act of dancing is considered

201
00:08:25,494 --> 00:08:28,729
- both vulnerable and feminine.
- I disagree.

202
00:08:28,797 --> 00:08:30,497
What about fred Astaire?
What about Baryshnikov?

203
00:08:30,565 --> 00:08:32,299
Yeah, I guess.

204
00:08:32,367 --> 00:08:33,700
There are exceptions to the rule,

205
00:08:33,768 --> 00:08:36,069
but even when Jerry Rice went on
dancing with the stars...

206
00:08:36,136 --> 00:08:37,603
Jerry Rice?

207
00:08:37,671 --> 00:08:41,407
Oh, God. I liked him.

208
00:08:41,474 --> 00:08:43,541
Troy?

209
00:08:43,609 --> 00:08:45,843
What... what's your secret?

210
00:08:45,910 --> 00:08:48,645
Um...

211
00:08:48,713 --> 00:08:50,414
M... my secret...

212
00:08:50,481 --> 00:08:52,682
is that...

213
00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:54,349
I knew Britta's secret.

214
00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:55,351
Yeah.

215
00:08:55,419 --> 00:08:56,718
I saw her in her dance outfit,

216
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,620
and she looked ridiculous.

217
00:08:58,687 --> 00:09:00,854
So I helped her protect her shame.

218
00:09:00,922 --> 00:09:02,890
You know, I'm just glad she's out now.

219
00:09:02,957 --> 00:09:04,391
- Bravo, Britta.
- Thanks.

220
00:09:04,459 --> 00:09:06,526
Mr. Winger, there you are.

221
00:09:06,594 --> 00:09:08,596
Just got word of your relationship

222
00:09:08,663 --> 00:09:11,131
with Professor Slater.

223
00:09:11,199 --> 00:09:13,700
I'd like to see both of you
in my office in half an hour.

224
00:09:13,768 --> 00:09:15,001
What the... none of you left the room.

225
00:09:15,069 --> 00:09:16,302
How is that even possible?

226
00:09:16,370 --> 00:09:20,005
Well, for one thing,
it's all over Twitter.

227
00:09:23,309 --> 00:09:25,175
Britta in a tutu... Can you imagine?

228
00:09:25,243 --> 00:09:27,910
Hey. What the hell?

229
00:09:27,978 --> 00:09:30,278
I thought we were supposed to
come out to the group together.

230
00:09:30,346 --> 00:09:33,246
Yeah. I changed my mind.

231
00:09:33,314 --> 00:09:35,346
Well, they're gonna find out
that you dance at the recital.

232
00:09:35,414 --> 00:09:37,486
I'm not gonna be in the recital.

233
00:09:37,554 --> 00:09:39,188
- I'm dropping the class.
- Oh, my God.

234
00:09:39,255 --> 00:09:41,823
How can you do this?
I'm so disappointed in you.

235
00:09:41,891 --> 00:09:43,491
Hey, you don't get to
talk to me like that.

236
00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:45,226
You are not Shirley!

237
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:46,893
And Shirley's not my mom.

238
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,796
Britta, it's not like we
were in the same boat.

239
00:09:49,863 --> 00:09:51,764
Girls are supposed to dance.

240
00:09:51,831 --> 00:09:53,899
That's why God gave them
parts that jiggle.

241
00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:56,267
But I'd be going from
starting quarterback

242
00:09:56,335 --> 00:09:58,203
to a guy that twirls around in tights.

243
00:09:58,270 --> 00:10:00,304
I've got way more to lose
getting up on that stage

244
00:10:00,372 --> 00:10:01,372
because I'm a man.

245
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,673
Well, guess what?

246
00:10:02,741 --> 00:10:04,575
A real man doesn't bail on his friends

247
00:10:04,642 --> 00:10:06,543
or on himself.

248
00:10:06,611 --> 00:10:08,912
You're a dancer, Troy.

249
00:10:08,980 --> 00:10:11,815
It's who you are.

250
00:10:11,883 --> 00:10:14,017
Not anymore.

251
00:10:15,787 --> 00:10:17,287
Excuse me.

252
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,890
Upset about Jeff?

253
00:10:22,958 --> 00:10:26,125
No. I am upset about...

254
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,124
something I can't talk about.

255
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,558
We can talk about anything...

256
00:10:29,626 --> 00:10:31,994
politics, medicine, Jeff.

257
00:10:32,061 --> 00:10:35,097
Okay. Uh, did you hear
that the shroud of turin...

258
00:10:35,164 --> 00:10:36,965
Here's the thing about Jeff.

259
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:38,166
Wow.

260
00:10:38,234 --> 00:10:40,135
Chasing after you
made him a better person

261
00:10:40,203 --> 00:10:41,803
because you always
called him on his stuff.

262
00:10:41,871 --> 00:10:43,705
All this time,
you've been warming him up

263
00:10:43,772 --> 00:10:45,906
and stirring in sweetener
and making him just right.

264
00:10:45,974 --> 00:10:48,308
And, sure, you weren't ready
to take a sip yet,

265
00:10:48,376 --> 00:10:49,609
but that didn't mean you want somebody

266
00:10:49,677 --> 00:10:50,844
to snatch him off the counter

267
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:52,478
and guzzle him down
right in front of you.

268
00:10:52,546 --> 00:10:54,146
Shirley, I did not warm Jeff up.

269
00:10:54,214 --> 00:10:55,814
Nobody ever will.

270
00:10:55,882 --> 00:10:58,817
Do you think Professor Slater
is getting flowers right now?

271
00:10:58,884 --> 00:11:00,952
Do you think that they are
gonna go to the movies

272
00:11:01,019 --> 00:11:03,687
and hold hands, visit her parents?

273
00:11:03,755 --> 00:11:05,555
No. The only thing keeping them going

274
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:07,290
was the thrill of the secrecy,

275
00:11:07,358 --> 00:11:11,127
and now that it is out,
it is over, believe me.

276
00:11:11,194 --> 00:11:12,861
Can... can I just ask

277
00:11:12,929 --> 00:11:15,464
as a divorced black housewife...

278
00:11:15,531 --> 00:11:17,332
What part of being a
single white slacker

279
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,933
makes you people so jaded?

280
00:11:19,001 --> 00:11:20,634
Ooh! You people?

281
00:11:20,702 --> 00:11:22,970
What do you mean, you people?

282
00:11:23,037 --> 00:11:24,804
I cannot believe I got to say that.

283
00:11:24,872 --> 00:11:27,873
It's the little things, isn't it?

284
00:11:27,941 --> 00:11:29,841
Okay, well, now that your
secret is out there,

285
00:11:29,909 --> 00:11:31,076
I'm just gonna talk you

286
00:11:31,144 --> 00:11:33,178
through this teacher/student
relationship form,

287
00:11:33,245 --> 00:11:36,113
and then we can get you two
on your very attractive way.

288
00:11:36,181 --> 00:11:38,148
We haven't even admitted
to being a couple.

289
00:11:38,216 --> 00:11:40,050
In fact, this is all based on hearsay,

290
00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:42,452
worse than hearsay.
Pierce's Twitter account,

291
00:11:42,519 --> 00:11:43,819
in which he says he's 47

292
00:11:43,887 --> 00:11:46,122
and teaches a women'
s-only pilates class.

293
00:11:46,189 --> 00:11:48,190
Jeff, it's okay. It's out.

294
00:11:48,258 --> 00:11:50,125
And you know what?
It doesn't bother me.

295
00:11:50,193 --> 00:11:51,359
I'm happy.

296
00:11:51,427 --> 00:11:53,628
Sweet.

297
00:11:53,696 --> 00:11:55,630
Well... First question.

298
00:11:55,697 --> 00:11:57,298
"How long have you been doing it?"

299
00:11:57,365 --> 00:11:59,466
Oh!
Not it.

300
00:11:59,534 --> 00:12:01,468
I mean this... dating.

301
00:12:01,535 --> 00:12:03,669
- A few weeks.
- Mm-hmm.

302
00:12:03,737 --> 00:12:06,839
And... how long have you been doing it?

303
00:12:06,906 --> 00:12:08,373
We don't have to answer that.

304
00:12:08,441 --> 00:12:09,975
Oh, it... hmm?

305
00:12:10,042 --> 00:12:13,077
Now... this is just hypothetical.

306
00:12:13,145 --> 00:12:14,879
Might you ever consider

307
00:12:14,947 --> 00:12:16,814
spending the night with a third person?

308
00:12:16,882 --> 00:12:20,250
- That's not on there!
- Well...

309
00:12:20,318 --> 00:12:21,751
Wow, it's on there.

310
00:12:21,819 --> 00:12:23,587
Just exploring your options, obviously.

311
00:12:23,654 --> 00:12:26,322
No agenda.

312
00:12:26,390 --> 00:12:28,624
I'll put "TBD".

313
00:12:28,692 --> 00:12:30,926
Would you describe yourself
as boyfriend and girlfriend?

314
00:12:30,994 --> 00:12:33,095
- Yes.
- Eh...

315
00:12:33,162 --> 00:12:34,562
- What?
- Oh, boy.

316
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,897
It's semantics, really, isn't it?

317
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,766
We've slept together

318
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:40,667
every night for the last three weeks.

319
00:12:40,735 --> 00:12:42,035
How would you describe me?

320
00:12:42,103 --> 00:12:44,070
The best friend ever.

321
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,671
Ooh.

322
00:12:45,739 --> 00:12:47,573
Well, uh...

323
00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:49,541
I guess I've had the
wrong idea about us.

324
00:12:49,609 --> 00:12:51,243
But you know what? This is good.

325
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:54,612
I'd be better off dating,
um... an adult.

326
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,113
See you around.

327
00:12:56,181 --> 00:12:59,950
- Michelle.
- Mm. Rarr!

328
00:13:02,153 --> 00:13:03,586
I'll get the break-up form.

329
00:13:09,824 --> 00:13:12,892
I got freaked out by
that boyfriend label.

330
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,494
I'm...

331
00:13:14,562 --> 00:13:15,828
afraid of commitment.

332
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,030
How original.

333
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:18,864
Look, the biggest
truths aren't original.

334
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:22,234
Truth is ketchup. It's Jim Belushi.

335
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,235
Its job isn't to blow our minds.

336
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,637
It's to be within reach,

337
00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:26,938
so the truth is...

338
00:13:27,005 --> 00:13:28,873
I get claustrophobic
when things get official.

339
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:31,075
You're acting like I'm a Venus flytrap.

340
00:13:31,142 --> 00:13:33,343
I didn't want or need more
than what we were doing.

341
00:13:33,411 --> 00:13:35,378
Let's get back to it.
Should I get the door?

342
00:13:35,446 --> 00:13:37,580
I can't now, because you
went to the friend place.

343
00:13:37,648 --> 00:13:39,548
That's you getting official, not me,

344
00:13:39,616 --> 00:13:41,583
because unless there's
something I need to know

345
00:13:41,651 --> 00:13:43,884
about the lunch lady or that
blonde in your Spanish class

346
00:13:43,952 --> 00:13:45,919
with the infinite supply
of leather jackets,

347
00:13:45,987 --> 00:13:47,920
somewhere between our 9th
and 11th slumber party,

348
00:13:47,988 --> 00:13:49,489
statistically speaking,

349
00:13:49,556 --> 00:13:51,324
most people would call
us more than pals.

350
00:13:51,392 --> 00:13:53,259
Yeah, but soon as you say it,

351
00:13:53,327 --> 00:13:54,727
it can get complicated and messy.

352
00:13:54,794 --> 00:13:56,695
- How?
- Because when you say it,

353
00:13:56,762 --> 00:13:59,030
later on, you might have to un-say it.

354
00:13:59,098 --> 00:14:00,532
Whoopee flippin' ding, Winger.

355
00:14:00,599 --> 00:14:01,899
It happens 50 million times a day.

356
00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,534
It's the Jim Belushi
of sexual commitments.

357
00:14:04,602 --> 00:14:05,901
It barely means anything,

358
00:14:05,969 --> 00:14:07,603
and it grows on what's there over time.

359
00:14:07,671 --> 00:14:09,272
Boy, that guy's
really taking a pounding

360
00:14:09,339 --> 00:14:11,574
in this conversation.

361
00:14:11,641 --> 00:14:13,108
I'll see you around, Jeff.

362
00:14:21,248 --> 00:14:23,384
I really liked what we were doing.

363
00:14:23,451 --> 00:14:26,352
And if the ratio of work to pleasure

364
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:27,954
can really stay at that same level,

365
00:14:28,021 --> 00:14:29,355
I don't care what it's called.

366
00:14:29,423 --> 00:14:33,125
I'll do it. Let's do it.

367
00:14:39,699 --> 00:14:41,866
Okay.

368
00:14:45,370 --> 00:14:46,837
Okay.

369
00:14:55,879 --> 00:14:57,713
Oh, that's a big crowd out there.

370
00:14:57,780 --> 00:15:00,214
Abed's really good at inviting people.

371
00:15:00,282 --> 00:15:01,883
We're all here to support you.

372
00:15:01,950 --> 00:15:03,284
Jeff even brought his girlfriend.

373
00:15:03,351 --> 00:15:05,185
Oh. She's his girlfriend now?

374
00:15:05,253 --> 00:15:06,986
Can't wait till he hears about it.

375
00:15:07,054 --> 00:15:08,221
Oh, he knows.

376
00:15:08,288 --> 00:15:10,189
They even had to file
paperwork with the Dean.

377
00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:12,791
It's pretty serious.
Our little Jeff's growing up!

378
00:15:15,661 --> 00:15:17,060
Oh!

379
00:15:17,128 --> 00:15:18,795
Break a leg, Britta.

380
00:15:18,862 --> 00:15:20,496
I have no idea

381
00:15:20,564 --> 00:15:24,331
how someone could do
what you're about to do.

382
00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:29,067
I brought goobers.
Anybody want a goober?

383
00:15:29,135 --> 00:15:30,668
Get them while they're gooby!

384
00:15:37,207 --> 00:15:39,177
Well, this is already ridiculous.

385
00:15:39,245 --> 00:15:40,779
Shh!

386
00:15:43,682 --> 00:15:46,083
Tea for two?
There... there're five people.

387
00:15:46,151 --> 00:15:47,818
Shh!

388
00:15:53,258 --> 00:15:55,092
Good Lord.

389
00:15:59,063 --> 00:16:00,829
Is she a water pot or a tea kettle?

390
00:16:00,897 --> 00:16:03,331
Shh!

391
00:16:08,072 --> 00:16:09,973
Don't you think the flowers
are dying from the tea?

392
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,674
- Shh!
- Shh, shh!

393
00:16:11,742 --> 00:16:13,009
Everyone can hear you.

394
00:16:13,076 --> 00:16:15,678
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh!

395
00:16:32,428 --> 00:16:34,629
Britta.

396
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:42,300
Water it!

397
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:44,001
What's going on?

398
00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:45,802
So embarrassing.

399
00:16:52,604 --> 00:16:53,536
Oh!

400
00:16:53,604 --> 00:16:56,137
Ooh! Plot twist.

401
00:16:56,205 --> 00:16:58,305
Easy, girl.

402
00:16:58,373 --> 00:17:00,840
There we go.

403
00:17:05,478 --> 00:17:07,045
Play something modern.

404
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:09,147
What are you doing here?

405
00:17:09,215 --> 00:17:11,549
Being a friend and a man.

406
00:17:11,617 --> 00:17:13,751
Oh!

407
00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:39,204
Culturally, it's unacceptable,

408
00:17:39,271 --> 00:17:41,172
but it's theatrical dynamite!

409
00:17:52,082 --> 00:17:53,583
- Whoo!
- Bravo!

410
00:17:56,019 --> 00:17:57,619
Yeah, all right!

411
00:17:57,687 --> 00:18:00,154
Bring it! Woof, woof, woof, woof!

412
00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:01,255
Greendale!

413
00:18:05,326 --> 00:18:06,693
Hi, guys. That was really cool.

414
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,260
I wish I knew how to tap-dance.

415
00:18:08,328 --> 00:18:09,495
Well, thanks, Abed.

416
00:18:09,562 --> 00:18:10,829
It takes a lot of hard work,

417
00:18:10,897 --> 00:18:12,430
but you could always take a class.

418
00:18:12,498 --> 00:18:14,565
Mm, pass.

419
00:18:14,633 --> 00:18:16,901
Hey, Troy.

420
00:18:16,968 --> 00:18:18,269
Thank you.

421
00:18:18,336 --> 00:18:19,736
No, thank you.

422
00:18:19,804 --> 00:18:21,304
I mean, you looked so pathetic,

423
00:18:21,372 --> 00:18:23,639
you made going up there
the most masculine option.

424
00:18:29,278 --> 00:18:31,313
Troy!

425
00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:33,281
What you did up there really took guts.

426
00:18:33,349 --> 00:18:34,582
I'm impressed.

427
00:18:34,650 --> 00:18:36,050
- Thanks, Pierce.
- Yeah.

428
00:18:36,117 --> 00:18:39,286
And such a creative way to
tell the world you're gay.

429
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,055
- Good job up there.
- Thank you.

430
00:18:42,123 --> 00:18:43,289
Where's your date?

431
00:18:43,357 --> 00:18:45,057
Didn't she want to get my autograph?

432
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,892
Oh, she's getting a
permission slip from the Dean

433
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,293
to allow us to drive home together.

434
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:49,794
I heard you guys are official now.

435
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,629
Yeah, I guess.

436
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,164
You actually had a big part in that.

437
00:18:53,231 --> 00:18:56,533
I mean, if I can handle
having a girl for a friend,

438
00:18:56,601 --> 00:18:59,202
who's to say I'm not
ready for a girlfriend?

439
00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:01,504
Makes perfect sense. Break a leg.

440
00:19:05,575 --> 00:19:07,042
- Flowers.
- Yeah.

441
00:19:07,109 --> 00:19:08,610
Is that... that's what
people do, right?

442
00:19:08,678 --> 00:19:10,211
I was gonna throw them up on stage,

443
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:11,646
but I thought they might catch fire.

444
00:19:11,714 --> 00:19:13,348
No, this is... this is good.

445
00:19:13,416 --> 00:19:16,484
You can hand them to me. Thank you.

446
00:19:16,552 --> 00:19:18,119
See you Monday.

447
00:19:28,563 --> 00:19:30,963
♪ Dancin' at discos,
eatin' cheese on toast ♪

448
00:19:31,031 --> 00:19:33,333
♪ Yeah, you make me merry,
make me very, very happy ♪

449
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,033
♪ But you obviously ♪

450
00:19:35,101 --> 00:19:37,502
♪ You didn't want to stick around ♪

451
00:19:37,570 --> 00:19:39,070
♪ So I learnt from you ♪

452
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:41,571
♪ Do do do ♪

453
00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:44,238
♪ Dah-do do-do-do-do ♪

454
00:19:44,306 --> 00:19:46,772
♪ Dah-do do-do-do-do ♪

455
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:47,807
♪ Dah-do do ♪

456
00:19:47,874 --> 00:19:49,775
Good night, everybody.

457
00:19:51,053 --> 00:19:52,285
Five letters... Broadway musical.

458
00:19:52,353 --> 00:19:54,220
- Annie.
- Uh, six letters... to puncture.

459
00:19:55,088 --> 00:19:56,521
Pierce.

460
00:19:56,589 --> 00:19:58,456
A water filter that starts with "B".

461
00:19:58,524 --> 00:19:59,457
- Brita.
- Okay.

462
00:19:59,525 --> 00:20:01,059
Here's a tough one, though.

463
00:20:01,126 --> 00:20:03,094
- Uh, Helen of...
- Troy.

464
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:04,962
- Oh, damn, you're good.
- Thank you.

465
00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:06,463
I never even heard of that last one.

466
00:20:06,531 --> 00:20:10,700
One of the two brother actors.
Bridges. Four letters.

467
00:20:10,934 --> 00:20:11,901
Hmm.

468
00:20:11,968 --> 00:20:13,469
I know. Bridges.

469
00:20:13,537 --> 00:20:14,703
- I don't know.
- Come on, guys.

470
00:20:14,771 --> 00:20:16,138
Can't you see the pattern there?

471
00:20:16,206 --> 00:20:19,475
Can you see it? It's Beau... Beau Bridges!

472
00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:22,211
These are all things
you can see on TV...

473
00:20:22,279 --> 00:20:23,746
Except for Pierce... That's a misdirect.

474
00:20:23,814 --> 00:20:25,448
- Oh.
- Hmm.

475
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:28,113
- I love misdirects.
- I love The Big Lebowski.

476
00:20:28,114 --> 00:20:30,114
Sync by honeybunny - Corrected by 4be1
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