1
00:00:03,219 --> 00:00:08,634
Before we start, I'd like to have a
preliminary powwow, or prelimi-wow,

2
00:00:08,635 --> 00:00:11,570
about what I'm calling
our library's back door conundrum.

3
00:00:11,972 --> 00:00:13,337
Sounds like a porno
with Kate Winslet.

4
00:00:13,540 --> 00:00:14,507
Abed, ew.

5
00:00:15,542 --> 00:00:17,407
The door on that side
is locked after 5,

6
00:00:17,611 --> 00:00:19,670
which means that most us have
to walk all the way around.

7
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:21,780
Now if we were to move
our meetings to 4:30...

8
00:00:21,982 --> 00:00:23,506
No.

9
00:00:25,252 --> 00:00:27,618
I have a regular class at that time.

10
00:00:27,821 --> 00:00:30,085
It's like Math
or other regular classes.

11
00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:32,690
Yeah. I have something
unimportant that can't ever move.

12
00:00:32,893 --> 00:00:36,021
Well, maybe one of us could stand by
the back door and let the rest in?

13
00:00:36,229 --> 00:00:38,129
Mm. I nominate Pierce.
Where is he?

14
00:00:38,331 --> 00:00:39,958
I have not seen him around all day.

15
00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:41,695
I haven't either.

16
00:00:42,969 --> 00:00:44,129
Has anyone called him?
I did.

17
00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:46,134
Several times, actually.
But he never returned my calls.

18
00:00:46,339 --> 00:00:48,330
Oh, no.

19
00:00:48,675 --> 00:00:50,939
Oh. The last thing I said to him
was, "Suck it."

20
00:00:51,144 --> 00:00:52,634
Me too.
Good morning.

21
00:00:52,846 --> 00:00:54,370
Ha-ha-ha.
Yes.

22
00:00:54,581 --> 00:00:56,378
Oh, thank God.
Whew.

23
00:00:56,583 --> 00:00:58,175
You thought I was dead, didn't you?

24
00:00:58,385 --> 00:00:59,750
No.
I did.

25
00:00:59,953 --> 00:01:02,080
Do you people have any idea
how emasculating that is?

26
00:01:02,656 --> 00:01:03,645
I'm not Mickey Rooney.

27
00:01:03,857 --> 00:01:06,018
You don't have to cross your
fingers to see if I'll show up.

28
00:01:06,226 --> 00:01:09,923
You know, when I was 30, people used
to wish that I was dead to my face.

29
00:01:10,497 --> 00:01:11,589
That's called respect.

30
00:01:11,798 --> 00:01:14,824
Mm. Who is the lucky brunette?

31
00:01:15,035 --> 00:01:17,162
Last name Beeswax,
first name Nunnuyuh.

32
00:01:17,370 --> 00:01:18,962
Oh, my third wife was biracial.

33
00:01:20,340 --> 00:01:22,934
Stop it.
I am trying to keep you out of trouble.

34
00:01:23,143 --> 00:01:25,270
What if the next girl saw these?
Well, then

35
00:01:25,479 --> 00:01:26,468
she would know it was hers.

36
00:01:28,148 --> 00:01:31,083
Jeff, you're sleeping with a woman
you already slept with?

37
00:01:31,284 --> 00:01:34,447
Can't I be the friend in the group whose
trademark is his well-defined boundaries?

38
00:01:34,654 --> 00:01:38,522
Like Privacy Smurf, Discreet Bear
or Confidentiality Spice?

39
00:01:38,725 --> 00:01:41,819
Why would you keep her a secret?
Don't you want us to meet her?

40
00:01:42,028 --> 00:01:44,326
We have an agreement
to keep it low-key.

41
00:01:44,831 --> 00:01:46,423
That's ridiculous.
Obviously, it's a guy.

44
00:01:51,638 --> 00:01:53,003
Thank you.

45
00:02:01,481 --> 00:02:04,279
Hey, what's up, man? Boo!

46
00:02:04,484 --> 00:02:05,473
Hey, what's up, J-Dog?

47
00:02:07,521 --> 00:02:09,182
Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.

48
00:02:09,389 --> 00:02:10,981
Hey, what's up, man? What's up?

49
00:02:21,334 --> 00:02:22,323
Sorry I'm late.

50
00:02:25,972 --> 00:02:27,496
Uh, and step into place.

51
00:02:27,707 --> 00:02:31,803
Six, seven, eight, and reach.
Two, three, four, pose.

52
00:02:32,012 --> 00:02:33,070
Reach back and arm.

53
00:02:34,681 --> 00:02:36,171
Professor Slater, quick question.

54
00:02:36,383 --> 00:02:38,317
You know the answer.
I don't date students.

55
00:02:38,518 --> 00:02:40,748
Even if you are no longer
in my Statistics class.

56
00:02:40,954 --> 00:02:43,514
I'm actually kind of seeing someone
right now, thank you very much.

57
00:02:43,723 --> 00:02:46,214
Really? How's that going?
Fine for now. She's smart, pretty.

58
00:02:46,426 --> 00:02:50,089
But sometimes I feel like she's just waiting
for me to stop talking and take off my pants.

59
00:02:51,264 --> 00:02:53,027
She is.

60
00:02:56,403 --> 00:02:58,268
I've never been
someone's dirty little secret.

61
00:02:58,471 --> 00:03:00,132
I've never had a dirty secret.

62
00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,364
It's so unprofessional.

63
00:03:01,575 --> 00:03:03,600
But the sneaking does make
the sex 38 percent hotter.

64
00:03:03,810 --> 00:03:06,370
Wow, you do like statistics,
don't you?

65
00:03:09,449 --> 00:03:11,610
Hey, midterms and whatever.
Chalk.

66
00:03:11,818 --> 00:03:13,718
Professor Slater,
there's that transcript you wanted.

67
00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:18,118
Jeff, I didn't expect to see you here.
Hopefully I'm not interrupting.

68
00:03:20,727 --> 00:03:22,217
You know, we laugh,

69
00:03:22,429 --> 00:03:25,159
but the fact is, student-teacher
relationships do happen.

70
00:03:25,365 --> 00:03:28,266
And they are a magnet for lawsuits,
so we do stay vigilant.

71
00:03:28,468 --> 00:03:30,959
In fact, physically attractive
students and faculty

72
00:03:31,171 --> 00:03:33,230
are actually placed on a watch list.

73
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,102
And are ranked by their potential
to incite fraternization.

74
00:03:36,309 --> 00:03:37,776
You rank people
by how hot they are?

75
00:03:37,978 --> 00:03:40,037
You got it, number two.

76
00:03:40,247 --> 00:03:42,647
Dean Pelton.
Yes, Professor Seven... Uh, Slater?

77
00:03:42,849 --> 00:03:45,511
I'll return this tomorrow.
Okay, then.

78
00:03:45,719 --> 00:03:47,380
You guys be extra careful now.

79
00:03:47,587 --> 00:03:50,420
Two people of your rankings
in this small a room,

80
00:03:50,624 --> 00:03:53,092
with this type of lighting,
and his upper body

81
00:03:53,293 --> 00:03:56,160
and what her heels and hemline
are doing to enhance

82
00:03:56,363 --> 00:03:58,957
what were already
quite a few favors from God,

83
00:03:59,165 --> 00:04:02,134
it's all the more important
to keep it tasteful. Heh.

84
00:04:11,411 --> 00:04:13,402
I think he might have ruined...
It's dead.

85
00:04:14,814 --> 00:04:17,112
Two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

86
00:04:17,317 --> 00:04:19,945
Arm, head, and pose.

87
00:04:20,153 --> 00:04:23,122
I can't wait for the recital.
You were all wonderful.

88
00:04:23,323 --> 00:04:26,622
Especially you, Troy.
Thank you, Madame LeClair.

89
00:04:27,927 --> 00:04:31,522
And if any of you mention
my dancing outside of class,

90
00:04:31,731 --> 00:04:36,031
I will break off your legs and use
them to smash in your friends' cars.

91
00:04:38,505 --> 00:04:39,870
Oh!
Huh!

92
00:04:43,243 --> 00:04:45,006
Oh, my God.

93
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,615
Troy, since when have you taken
modern dance?

94
00:04:49,816 --> 00:04:52,717
Since last semester. Coach told me
it would help with my coordination.

95
00:04:52,919 --> 00:04:56,446
And I fell in love with it,
in a very straight way.

96
00:04:56,923 --> 00:04:58,151
I know it's tempting
to sneak a peek,

97
00:04:58,358 --> 00:05:00,849
but I'm gonna need for you to keep
your eyes up here.

98
00:05:01,061 --> 00:05:03,427
I should have never dismissed you
as a shallow jock.

99
00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:06,121
Then again, we haven't really spent
much time together.

100
00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:08,324
That's because you don't
play football or have fun.

101
00:05:08,535 --> 00:05:11,333
I have fun tap dancing.
I started last semester too.

102
00:05:11,538 --> 00:05:13,369
It was always something
I wanted to do,

103
00:05:13,573 --> 00:05:16,440
but it was too embarrassing,
so I never told anyone.

104
00:05:16,643 --> 00:05:18,201
Same here.

105
00:05:18,411 --> 00:05:22,245
Britta, nobody can know about this.
Troy, who are we kidding?

106
00:05:22,449 --> 00:05:25,111
Look at how much time and energy
we're putting into hiding something

107
00:05:25,318 --> 00:05:27,980
that we're passionate about.
We are leading a double life.

108
00:05:28,188 --> 00:05:30,918
I am spending a lot of money
on breakaway clothing.

109
00:05:31,124 --> 00:05:34,116
We should look at this
as an opportunity to come clean.

110
00:05:34,327 --> 00:05:36,261
Are you saying we tell the group?
Together?

111
00:05:36,463 --> 00:05:39,261
We could invite them
to the dance recital on Friday.

112
00:05:41,868 --> 00:05:44,962
Man, I don't know.
Let me think about it.

113
00:05:49,376 --> 00:05:52,743
Okay, let's do this. Ahem!
Sorry.

114
00:05:54,514 --> 00:05:55,572
Mr. Winger.

115
00:05:55,782 --> 00:05:58,751
Would you come to my office?
We never finished our intercourse.

116
00:06:00,019 --> 00:06:01,316
I have study group right now.

117
00:06:01,521 --> 00:06:04,354
And nobody uses "intercourse"
to mean anything other than sex.

118
00:06:05,425 --> 00:06:06,983
Look, this is a wall of windows.

119
00:06:07,193 --> 00:06:09,354
My study group's behind it.
I know.

120
00:06:09,562 --> 00:06:11,928
Look, as soon as we touch,
the blinds will open,

121
00:06:12,132 --> 00:06:14,965
and six annoying but lovable misfits
will be staring at us.

122
00:06:15,168 --> 00:06:16,396
Come on, what are the odds?

123
00:06:18,538 --> 00:06:19,971
Fine.

124
00:06:27,113 --> 00:06:28,137
Now, was that so bad?

125
00:06:29,416 --> 00:06:32,647
Hey, could you open the back door?

126
00:06:40,827 --> 00:06:44,319
You all remember Michelle Slater,
my professor from last semester.

127
00:06:44,898 --> 00:06:47,332
As most of you may have realized
by now,

128
00:06:47,534 --> 00:06:50,094
she's the woman
I've been seeing lately.

129
00:06:51,204 --> 00:06:53,263
Why are they looking at me
like I'm a zoo animal?

130
00:06:53,473 --> 00:06:55,031
Jeff acts
as sort of the dad of the group.

131
00:06:55,241 --> 00:06:57,072
So, emotionally, this is like
being told you're our new mom.

132
00:06:57,710 --> 00:07:00,304
But you know
it's nothing like that, right?

133
00:07:00,513 --> 00:07:01,844
Absolutely. You cook macaroni?

134
00:07:02,048 --> 00:07:03,345
I have.
Macaroni's my favorite.

135
00:07:03,550 --> 00:07:06,417
The important thing is
we all understand

136
00:07:06,619 --> 00:07:10,680
Professor Slater and I need this
to be our little secret.

137
00:07:10,890 --> 00:07:12,585
Everyone understand that?
Yes.

138
00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:14,851
Hey, my macaroni noodle
is so good.

139
00:07:15,061 --> 00:07:17,029
Sure, sure.
The pepper jack,

140
00:07:17,230 --> 00:07:19,095
and you bake it.
See? All good.

141
00:07:19,299 --> 00:07:21,927
Well, thank you, everyone.
I appreciate it.

142
00:07:22,135 --> 00:07:23,602
I should get going.
Yeah.

143
00:07:23,803 --> 00:07:24,770
Mm.
Ooh.

144
00:07:29,909 --> 00:07:32,002
Bye.
Bye.

145
00:07:33,012 --> 00:07:36,641
Well, Jeff, you've taken a big step
in knocking down the barriers

146
00:07:36,850 --> 00:07:40,286
between students and teachers.
It's like Rosa Parks.

147
00:07:40,787 --> 00:07:42,880
I don't think it's like that.
No, it's just like that.

148
00:07:43,089 --> 00:07:46,684
I feel if you need to explain it,
it's not just like that.

149
00:07:47,427 --> 00:07:49,292
Is your heart gonna be okay
with this?

150
00:07:49,496 --> 00:07:53,728
I will try to find the tools to survive.
Okay.

151
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:55,796
Hey, everybody,
speaking of secrets,

152
00:07:56,002 --> 00:07:57,162
Troy and I have something

153
00:07:57,370 --> 00:07:58,997
that we would like to announce.
Aah!

154
00:07:59,205 --> 00:08:01,730
No, no. There is a dance recital
on Friday,

155
00:08:01,941 --> 00:08:03,806
and I would be honored
if you guys would attend.

156
00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:06,376
Because since last semester, I

157
00:08:07,881 --> 00:08:09,644
have been taking a tap class.

158
00:08:12,118 --> 00:08:13,847
That's funny.

159
00:08:14,053 --> 00:08:16,044
Well, I don't know how funny it is.

160
00:08:16,256 --> 00:08:20,522
Come on, we're not making fun of you,
but, obviously, you kept it a secret

161
00:08:20,727 --> 00:08:22,592
because you saw the irony too.
Irony?

162
00:08:22,795 --> 00:08:25,195
Well, you're not a typically
vulnerable or feminine person.

163
00:08:25,398 --> 00:08:28,026
And the act of dancing is considered
both vulnerable and feminine.

164
00:08:28,568 --> 00:08:31,696
I disagree. What about Fred Astaire?
What about Baryshnikov?

165
00:08:31,905 --> 00:08:34,703
Yeah, I guess.
There are exceptions to the rule.

166
00:08:34,908 --> 00:08:37,274
<i>But even when Jerry Rice went
on Dancing With the Stars...</i>

167
00:08:37,477 --> 00:08:40,105
Jerry Rice? Oh, my God.

168
00:08:40,313 --> 00:08:41,610
Oh, I liked him.

169
00:08:42,882 --> 00:08:45,783
Troy, what's your secret?

170
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:48,244
Um...

171
00:08:50,056 --> 00:08:53,457
M-my secret is that

172
00:08:53,993 --> 00:08:55,620
I knew Britta's secret.

173
00:08:57,163 --> 00:08:59,859
Yeah. I saw her in her dance outfit
and she looked ridiculous.

174
00:09:00,066 --> 00:09:04,127
So I helped her protect her shame.
You know, I'm just glad she's out now.

175
00:09:04,337 --> 00:09:05,634
Bravo, Britta.
Thanks.

176
00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:07,897
Mr. Winger, there you are.

177
00:09:08,107 --> 00:09:10,974
Just got word of your relationship
with Professor Slater.

178
00:09:12,145 --> 00:09:14,943
I'd like to see both of you in my office
in half an hour.

179
00:09:15,148 --> 00:09:17,548
None of you left the room.
How is that even possible?

180
00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:19,980
Well, for one thing,
it's all over Twitter.

181
00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:27,057
Britta in a tutu. Can you imagine?
Ha-ha-ha.

182
00:09:27,260 --> 00:09:28,989
Hey. What the hell?

183
00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:31,789
I thought we were supposed
to come out to the group together.

184
00:09:31,998 --> 00:09:34,466
Yeah. I changed my mind.

185
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,601
Well, they're gonna find out
that you dance at the recital.

186
00:09:36,803 --> 00:09:39,499
I'm not gonna be in the recital.
I'm dropping the class.

187
00:09:39,706 --> 00:09:43,073
Oh, my God, how can you do this
to me? I'm so disappointed in you.

188
00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:46,370
Hey, you don't get to talk to me
like that. You are not Shirley.

189
00:09:46,579 --> 00:09:48,137
And Shirley's not my mom.

190
00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:50,974
Britta, it's not like
we were in the same boat.

191
00:09:51,184 --> 00:09:52,708
Girls are supposed to dance.

192
00:09:52,919 --> 00:09:55,149
That's why God gave them parts
that jiggle.

193
00:09:55,355 --> 00:09:59,155
But I'd be going from starting quarterback
to a guy that twirls around in tights.

194
00:09:59,359 --> 00:10:02,192
I've got way more to lose getting
up on that stage because I'm a man.

195
00:10:02,395 --> 00:10:03,487
Well, guess what?

196
00:10:03,696 --> 00:10:06,995
A real man doesn't bail
on his friends, or on himself.

197
00:10:08,701 --> 00:10:11,761
You're a dancer, Troy.
It's who you are.

198
00:10:13,172 --> 00:10:15,037
Not anymore.

199
00:10:17,310 --> 00:10:18,436
Excuse me.
Whoa.

200
00:10:19,846 --> 00:10:21,711
Come on.

201
00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:24,246
Upset about Jeff?

202
00:10:24,450 --> 00:10:27,180
No, I am upset about

203
00:10:27,754 --> 00:10:29,517
something I can't talk about.

204
00:10:29,722 --> 00:10:33,453
We could talk about anything.
Politics, medicine, Jeff.

205
00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:36,288
Okay, uh, did you hear that the
Shroud of Turin is actually...?

206
00:10:36,496 --> 00:10:39,056
Here's the thing about Jeff.
Wow.

207
00:10:39,599 --> 00:10:43,035
Chasing after you made him a better person
because you always call him on his stuff.

208
00:10:43,236 --> 00:10:45,864
All this time, you've been warming
him up and stirring in sweetener,

209
00:10:46,072 --> 00:10:47,699
and making him just right.

210
00:10:47,907 --> 00:10:49,534
And sure,
you weren't ready to take a sip yet.

211
00:10:49,742 --> 00:10:51,607
But it didn't mean you want somebody
to snatch him off the counter,

212
00:10:51,811 --> 00:10:52,903
guzzle him down
in front of you.

213
00:10:53,112 --> 00:10:57,048
Shirley, I did not warm Jeff up.
Nobody ever will.

214
00:10:57,250 --> 00:11:00,048
Do you think Professor Slater
is getting flowers right now?

215
00:11:00,253 --> 00:11:03,154
Do you think they are gonna go
to the movies and hold hands?

216
00:11:03,690 --> 00:11:05,658
Visit her parents? No.

217
00:11:05,858 --> 00:11:08,156
The only thing keeping them going
was the thrill of the secrecy.

218
00:11:08,361 --> 00:11:11,387
And now that it is out, it is over.
Believe me.

219
00:11:12,598 --> 00:11:16,398
Can... Can I just ask,
as a divorced, black housewife?

220
00:11:16,602 --> 00:11:20,163
What part of being a single, white
slacker makes you people so jaded?

221
00:11:20,373 --> 00:11:24,207
Ooh. "You people"?
What do you mean, "you people"?

222
00:11:24,410 --> 00:11:26,037
I cannot believe I got to say that.

223
00:11:26,446 --> 00:11:28,607
Heh-heh.
It's the little things, isn't it?

224
00:11:28,815 --> 00:11:31,340
Okay, well,
now that your secret is out there,

225
00:11:31,551 --> 00:11:34,281
I'm just gonna talk you through this
teacher-student relationship form,

226
00:11:34,487 --> 00:11:37,354
and then we can get you two
on your very attractive way.

227
00:11:37,557 --> 00:11:39,252
We haven't even admitted
to being a couple.

228
00:11:39,459 --> 00:11:42,189
In fact, this is all based on hearsay.
Worse than hearsay.

229
00:11:42,395 --> 00:11:45,057
Pierce's Twitter account,
in which he says he's 47,

230
00:11:45,264 --> 00:11:47,357
and teaches
a women's-only Pilates class.

231
00:11:47,567 --> 00:11:49,558
Jeff, it's okay. It's out.

232
00:11:49,769 --> 00:11:51,600
And you know what?
It doesn't bother me.

233
00:11:51,804 --> 00:11:53,601
I'm happy.
Sweet.

234
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:58,542
Mm. First question.
How long have you been doing it?

235
00:11:58,978 --> 00:12:02,709
Oh, not "it." I mean, this, dating.

236
00:12:02,915 --> 00:12:04,883
A few weeks.
Mm-hm.

237
00:12:05,084 --> 00:12:08,076
And how long
have you been doing it?

238
00:12:08,654 --> 00:12:11,885
We don't have to answer that.
Oh, it's... Hmm?

239
00:12:12,091 --> 00:12:14,992
Now, this is just hypothetical.

240
00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:18,061
Might you ever consider spending
the night with a third person?

241
00:12:18,264 --> 00:12:21,495
That's not on there.
Uh...

242
00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:23,228
Wow, it's on there.

243
00:12:23,436 --> 00:12:26,098
Just exploring your options,
obviously. Heh-heh-heh.

244
00:12:26,606 --> 00:12:29,439
No agenda. I'll put TBD.

245
00:12:29,642 --> 00:12:32,167
Would you describe yourself
as boyfriend and girlfriend?

246
00:12:32,378 --> 00:12:33,868
Yes.
Eh...

247
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,809
What?
Oh, boy.

248
00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:38,142
It's semantics, really, isn't it?

249
00:12:39,552 --> 00:12:41,884
We've slept together every night
for the last three weeks.

250
00:12:42,088 --> 00:12:45,319
How would you describe me?
The best friend ever.

251
00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:46,922
Oh.

252
00:12:47,326 --> 00:12:50,784
Well, uh... I guess
I've had the wrong idea about us.

253
00:12:51,364 --> 00:12:56,324
You know what, this is good.
I'd be better off dating, um, an adult.

254
00:12:56,536 --> 00:12:58,265
See you around.
Michelle.

255
00:12:59,605 --> 00:13:01,436
Rowr.

256
00:13:03,776 --> 00:13:05,141
I'll get the breakup form.

257
00:13:12,218 --> 00:13:15,051
I got freaked out
by that boyfriend label.

258
00:13:15,354 --> 00:13:18,118
I'm afraid of commitment.

259
00:13:18,324 --> 00:13:19,689
How original.
Look,

260
00:13:19,892 --> 00:13:21,120
the biggest truths
aren't original.

261
00:13:21,327 --> 00:13:24,490
Truth is ketchup, it's Jim Belushi.

262
00:13:24,697 --> 00:13:27,564
Its job isn't to blow our minds,
it's to be within reach.

263
00:13:27,767 --> 00:13:31,134
So the truth is, I get claustrophobic
when things get official.

264
00:13:31,337 --> 00:13:33,305
You're acting like
I'm a Venus flytrap.

265
00:13:33,506 --> 00:13:35,565
I didn't want or need more
than what we were doing.

266
00:13:35,775 --> 00:13:37,640
Let's get back to it.
Should I get the door?

267
00:13:37,844 --> 00:13:39,744
I can't now because
you went to the friend place.

268
00:13:39,946 --> 00:13:41,811
That's you getting official, not me.

269
00:13:42,014 --> 00:13:44,380
Because unless there's something
I need to know about the lunch lady,

270
00:13:44,584 --> 00:13:47,985
or that blond in your Spanish class with
the infinite supply of leather jackets,

271
00:13:48,187 --> 00:13:50,212
somewhere between
our ninth and 11 th slumber party,

272
00:13:50,423 --> 00:13:53,551
statistically speaking, most people
would call us more than pals.

273
00:13:53,759 --> 00:13:56,990
Yeah, but soon as you say it,
it can get complicated and messy.

274
00:13:57,196 --> 00:13:59,221
How?
Because when you say it,

275
00:13:59,432 --> 00:14:01,263
later on,
you might have to unsay it.

276
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:04,163
Whoopee flipping ding, Winger.
It happens 50 million times a day.

277
00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:06,600
It's the Jim Belushi
of sexual commitments.

278
00:14:06,806 --> 00:14:09,866
It barely means anything, and it
grows on what's there over time.

279
00:14:10,076 --> 00:14:12,670
Wow, that guy is really taking a
pounding in this conversation.

280
00:14:13,779 --> 00:14:15,371
I'll see you around, Jeff.

281
00:14:24,357 --> 00:14:25,619
I really liked what we were doing.

282
00:14:25,825 --> 00:14:29,818
And if the ratio of work to pleasure
can really stay at that same level,

283
00:14:30,029 --> 00:14:32,827
I don't care what it's called,
I'll do it.

284
00:14:33,032 --> 00:14:34,659
Let's do it.

285
00:14:42,675 --> 00:14:44,074
Okay.

286
00:14:47,613 --> 00:14:49,046
Okay.

287
00:14:57,857 --> 00:15:00,018
Oh. That's a big crowd
out there. Heh.

288
00:15:00,226 --> 00:15:02,421
Abed's really good at inviting people.

289
00:15:02,628 --> 00:15:05,563
We're all here to support you.
Jeff even brought his girlfriend.

290
00:15:05,765 --> 00:15:09,257
Oh, she's his girlfriend now?
Can't wait till he hears about it.

291
00:15:09,468 --> 00:15:11,993
Oh, he knows. They even had to
file paperwork with the dean.

292
00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:13,694
It's pretty serious.

293
00:15:13,906 --> 00:15:16,204
Our little Jeff's growing up. Ha.

294
00:15:17,677 --> 00:15:19,508
Oh...

295
00:15:19,712 --> 00:15:21,077
Break a leg, Britta.

296
00:15:21,981 --> 00:15:24,950
I have no idea how someone could do
what you're about to do. Heh-heh.

297
00:15:29,221 --> 00:15:31,314
I brought Goobers.
Anybody want a Goober?

298
00:15:31,524 --> 00:15:32,923
Get them while they're goobie.

299
00:15:34,327 --> 00:15:36,295
Yeah.
Showtime.

300
00:15:39,632 --> 00:15:42,123
Well, this is already ridiculous.
Shh.

301
00:15:46,172 --> 00:15:48,333
"Tea for Two"? There...
There's five people.

302
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:50,133
Shh!

303
00:15:55,681 --> 00:15:57,376
Good Lord.

304
00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:03,118
Is she a water pot or a tea kettle?
Shh.

305
00:16:10,496 --> 00:16:12,225
Any of you think the flowers
are dying from the tea?

306
00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:13,955
Shh!

307
00:16:14,166 --> 00:16:15,292
Everyone can hear you.

308
00:16:35,221 --> 00:16:36,916
Britta.

309
00:16:43,562 --> 00:16:44,551
Water it.

310
00:16:45,331 --> 00:16:48,061
What's going on?
So embarrassing.

311
00:16:56,042 --> 00:16:57,407
Oh, plot twist.

312
00:16:59,178 --> 00:17:02,045
Easy girl. There we go.
Uh...

313
00:17:02,381 --> 00:17:04,508
Uh... Ah! Uh...

314
00:17:04,717 --> 00:17:06,378
Thank you.

315
00:17:06,585 --> 00:17:07,711
Yeah.

316
00:17:08,187 --> 00:17:09,347
Play something modern.

317
00:17:10,790 --> 00:17:13,850
What are you doing here?
Being a friend and a man.

318
00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:16,051
Oh, thank you.

319
00:17:17,563 --> 00:17:19,087
Ah...

320
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,461
Aah-aah!

321
00:17:35,314 --> 00:17:36,713
It's okay.

322
00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:43,451
Culturally, it's unacceptable,
but it's theatrical dynamite.

323
00:17:47,026 --> 00:17:48,050
Hah.

324
00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:57,127
Whoo!
Bravo.

325
00:17:57,369 --> 00:18:00,736
Whoo.
Yeah, all right. Greendale.

326
00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:03,465
Greendale.

327
00:18:08,047 --> 00:18:10,572
Hi, guys. That was really cool.
I wish I knew how to tap dance.

328
00:18:10,783 --> 00:18:12,011
Oh. Thanks, Abed.

329
00:18:12,218 --> 00:18:14,482
It takes a lot of hard work,
but you could take a class.

330
00:18:14,687 --> 00:18:16,484
Hmm, pass.

331
00:18:17,256 --> 00:18:20,453
Hey, Troy, thank you.

332
00:18:20,659 --> 00:18:23,219
No, thank you.
I mean, you looked so pathetic,

333
00:18:23,429 --> 00:18:25,863
you made going up there
the most masculine option.

334
00:18:27,266 --> 00:18:28,665
Mm.

335
00:18:31,937 --> 00:18:33,564
Troy. Oh.

336
00:18:33,772 --> 00:18:35,501
What you did up there
really took guts.

337
00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:37,676
I'm impressed.
Thanks, Pierce.

338
00:18:37,877 --> 00:18:41,506
Yeah. And such a creative way
to tell the world you're gay.

339
00:18:42,982 --> 00:18:44,347
Good job up there.
Thank you.

340
00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:47,348
Where's your date?
Didn't she wanna get my autograph?

341
00:18:47,553 --> 00:18:50,613
Oh. She's getting a permission slip from the
dean to allow us to drive home together.

342
00:18:50,823 --> 00:18:53,986
Heard you guys are official now.
Yeah, I guess.

343
00:18:54,193 --> 00:18:55,922
You actually had a big part in that.

344
00:18:56,128 --> 00:18:58,688
I mean, if I can handle
having a girl for a friend,

345
00:18:58,898 --> 00:19:01,389
who's to say I'm not ready
for a girlfriend?

346
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,727
Makes perfect sense. Break a leg.

347
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,234
Flowers.
Yeah.

348
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:10,908
Uh, is that...?
That's what people do, right?

349
00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:13,977
I was gonna throw them up on stage,
but I thought they might catch fire.

350
00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:17,809
No, this is... This is good.
You can hand them to me. Thank you.

351
00:19:18,984 --> 00:19:20,474
See you Monday.
Bye.

352
00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:51,415
Good night, everybody.

353
00:19:56,021 --> 00:19:58,421
<i>Five letters, Broadway musical.
Annie.</i>

354
00:19:58,624 --> 00:20:01,491
Uh, six letters, to puncture.
Pierce.

355
00:20:01,694 --> 00:20:04,185
Um, a water filter that starts with B.
Britta.

356
00:20:04,396 --> 00:20:05,954
Okay. There's a tough one, though.

357
00:20:06,165 --> 00:20:08,326
Um, Helen of...
Troy.

358
00:20:08,534 --> 00:20:09,899
Oh, damn, you're good.
Thank you.

359
00:20:10,102 --> 00:20:11,364
I never even heard
of that last one.

360
00:20:11,570 --> 00:20:13,902
All right, uh, one of the two
brother actors, Bridges,

361
00:20:14,106 --> 00:20:15,937
four letters.

362
00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:18,836
Hmm.
I know. Bridges.

363
00:20:19,044 --> 00:20:20,238
I don't know.
Come on, guys,

364
00:20:20,446 --> 00:20:21,879
can't you see the pattern there?

365
00:20:22,081 --> 00:20:24,606
Can you see it?
It's Beau, Beau Bridges.

366
00:20:24,817 --> 00:20:27,285
These are all things
you can see on TV.

367
00:20:27,486 --> 00:20:28,817
Except for pierce, that's a misdirect.

368
00:20:29,021 --> 00:20:30,784
Oh.
Oh.

369
00:20:30,990 --> 00:20:33,925
<i>I love misdirects.
I love The Big Lebowski.</i>

