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Before we start, I'd like to have a
preliminary powwow, or prelimi-wow,
2
00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:12,544
about what I'm calling
our library's back door conundrum.
3
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,311
Sounds like a porno
with Kate Winslet.
4
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,481
Abed, ew.
5
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,381
The door on that side
is locked after 5,
6
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,644
which means that most us have
to walk all the way around.
7
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Now if we were to move
our meetings to 4:30...
8
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No.
9
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,592
I have a regular class at that time.
10
00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:31,059
It's like Math
or other regular classes.
11
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Yeah. I have something
unimportant that can't ever move.
12
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Well, maybe one of us could stand by
the back door and let the rest in?
13
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Mm. I nominate Pierce.
Where is he?
14
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I have not seen him around all day.
15
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I haven't either.
16
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Has anyone called him?
I did.
17
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Several times, actually.
But he never returned my calls.
18
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Oh, no.
19
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Oh. The last thing I said to him
was, "Suck it."
20
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Me too.
Good morning.
21
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Ha-ha-ha.
Yes.
22
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Oh, thank God.
Whew.
23
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You thought I was dead, didn't you?
24
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No.
I did.
25
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Do you people have any idea
how emasculating that is?
26
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:04,619
I'm not Mickey Rooney.
27
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:06,992
You don't have to cross your
fingers to see if I'll show up.
28
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You know, when I was 30, people used
to wish that I was dead to my face.
29
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That's called respect.
30
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Mm. Who is the lucky brunette?
31
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Last name Beeswax,
first name Nunnuyuh.
32
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Oh, my third wife was biracial.
33
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Stop it.
I am trying to keep you out of trouble.
34
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What if the next girl saw these?
Well, then
35
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she would know it was hers.
36
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Jeff, you're sleeping with a woman
you already slept with?
37
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Can't I be the friend in the group whose
trademark is his well-defined boundaries?
38
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Like Privacy Smurf, Discreet Bear
or Confidentiality Spice?
39
00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:42,793
Why would you keep her a secret?
Don't you want us to meet her?
40
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We have an agreement
to keep it low-key.
41
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That's ridiculous.
Obviously, it's a guy.
42
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,700
You're wrong, Pierce.
It's two guys.
43
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Sometimes I do wish you were dead.
44
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Thank you.
45
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:05,253
Hey, what's up, man? Boo!
46
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,447
Hey, what's up, J-Dog?
47
00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:10,156
Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.
48
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:11,955
Hey, what's up, man? What's up?
49
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:23,297
Sorry I'm late.
50
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,470
Uh, and step into place.
51
00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:32,777
Six, seven, eight, and reach.
Two, three, four, pose.
52
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,044
Reach back and arm.
53
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,145
Professor Slater, quick question.
54
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,291
You know the answer.
I don't date students.
55
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,722
Even if you are no longer
in my Statistics class.
56
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:44,488
I'm actually kind of seeing someone
right now, thank you very much.
57
00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:47,188
Really? How's that going?
Fine for now. She's smart, pretty.
58
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,063
But sometimes I feel like she's just waiting
for me to stop talking and take off my pants.
59
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She is.
60
00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,242
I've never been
someone's dirty little secret.
61
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:01,106
I've never had a dirty secret.
62
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It's so unprofessional.
63
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,574
But the sneaking does make
the sex 38 percent hotter.
64
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:07,344
Wow, you do like statistics,
don't you?
65
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:12,584
Hey, midterms and whatever.
Chalk.
66
00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:14,692
Professor Slater,
there's that transcript you wanted.
67
00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:19,092
Jeff, I didn't expect to see you here.
Hopefully I'm not interrupting.
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00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,191
You know, we laugh,
69
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:26,133
but the fact is, student-teacher
relationships do happen.
70
00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:29,240
And they are a magnet for lawsuits,
so we do stay vigilant.
71
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:31,933
In fact, physically attractive
students and faculty
72
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,204
are actually placed on a watch list.
73
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:37,076
And are ranked by their potential
to incite fraternization.
74
00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:38,750
You rank people
by how hot they are?
75
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,011
You got it, number two.
76
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,621
Dean Pelton.
Yes, Professor Seven... Uh, Slater?
77
00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:46,485
I'll return this tomorrow.
Okay, then.
78
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:48,354
You guys be extra careful now.
79
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:51,394
Two people of your rankings
in this small a room,
80
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:54,066
with this type of lighting,
and his upper body
81
00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:57,134
and what her heels and hemline
are doing to enhance
82
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,931
what were already
quite a few favors from God,
83
00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:03,108
it's all the more important
to keep it tasteful. Heh.
84
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,376
I think he might have ruined...
It's dead.
85
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:18,086
Two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
86
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:20,919
Arm, head, and pose.
87
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:24,096
I can't wait for the recital.
You were all wonderful.
88
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:27,596
Especially you, Troy.
Thank you, Madame LeClair.
89
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:32,496
And if any of you mention
my dancing outside of class,
90
00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:37,005
I will break off your legs and use
them to smash in your friends' cars.
91
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:40,844
Oh!
Huh!
92
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:45,980
Oh, my God.
93
00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:50,589
Troy, since when have you taken
modern dance?
94
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,691
Since last semester. Coach told me
it would help with my coordination.
95
00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:57,420
And I fell in love with it,
in a very straight way.
96
00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,125
I know it's tempting
to sneak a peek,
97
00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:01,823
but I'm gonna need for you to keep
your eyes up here.
98
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,401
I should have never dismissed you
as a shallow jock.
99
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:07,095
Then again, we haven't really spent
much time together.
100
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,298
That's because you don't
play football or have fun.
101
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:12,307
I have fun tap dancing.
I started last semester too.
102
00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,343
It was always something
I wanted to do,
103
00:05:14,547 --> 00:05:17,414
but it was too embarrassing,
so I never told anyone.
104
00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:19,175
Same here.
105
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:23,219
Britta, nobody can know about this.
Troy, who are we kidding?
106
00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:26,085
Look at how much time and energy
we're putting into hiding something
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that we're passionate about.
We are leading a double life.
108
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,892
I am spending a lot of money
on breakaway clothing.
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00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:35,090
We should look at this
as an opportunity to come clean.
110
00:05:35,301 --> 00:05:37,235
Are you saying we tell the group?
Together?
111
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:40,235
We could invite them
to the dance recital on Friday.
112
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:45,936
Man, I don't know.
Let me think about it.
113
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,717
Okay, let's do this. Ahem!
Sorry.
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00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:56,546
Mr. Winger.
115
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:59,725
Would you come to my office?
We never finished our intercourse.
116
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I have study group right now.
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00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:05,328
And nobody uses "intercourse"
to mean anything other than sex.
118
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:07,957
Look, this is a wall of windows.
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My study group's behind it.
I know.
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Look, as soon as we touch,
the blinds will open,
121
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and six annoying but lovable misfits
will be staring at us.
122
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Come on, what are the odds?
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00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:20,945
Fine.
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00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:29,111
Now, was that so bad?
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00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,621
Hey, could you open the back door?
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00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:45,293
You all remember Michelle Slater,
my professor from last semester.
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As most of you may have realized
by now,
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00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:51,068
she's the woman
I've been seeing lately.
129
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,237
Why are they looking at me
like I'm a zoo animal?
130
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:56,005
Jeff acts
as sort of the dad of the group.
131
00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:58,046
So, emotionally, this is like
being told you're our new mom.
132
00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:01,278
But you know
it's nothing like that, right?
133
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:02,818
Absolutely. You cook macaroni?
134
00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:04,319
I have.
Macaroni's my favorite.
135
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:07,391
The important thing is
we all understand
136
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:11,654
Professor Slater and I need this
to be our little secret.
137
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:13,559
Everyone understand that?
Yes.
138
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,825
Hey, my macaroni noodle
is so good.
139
00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:18,003
Sure, sure.
The pepper jack,
140
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:20,069
and you bake it.
See? All good.
141
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,901
Well, thank you, everyone.
I appreciate it.
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00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,576
I should get going.
Yeah.
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00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:25,744
Mm.
Ooh.
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00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:32,976
Bye.
Bye.
145
00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:37,615
Well, Jeff, you've taken a big step
in knocking down the barriers
146
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:41,260
between students and teachers.
It's like Rosa Parks.
147
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:43,854
I don't think it's like that.
No, it's just like that.
148
00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:47,658
I feel if you need to explain it,
it's not just like that.
149
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,266
Is your heart gonna be okay
with this?
150
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:54,702
I will try to find the tools to survive.
Okay.
151
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,770
Hey, everybody,
speaking of secrets,
152
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Troy and I have something
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00:07:58,344 --> 00:07:59,971
that we would like to announce.
Aah!
154
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:02,704
No, no. There is a dance recital
on Friday,
155
00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:04,780
and I would be honored
if you guys would attend.
156
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,350
Because since last semester, I
157
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,618
have been taking a tap class.
158
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That's funny.
159
00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:17,018
Well, I don't know how funny it is.
160
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:21,496
Come on, we're not making fun of you,
but, obviously, you kept it a secret
161
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,566
because you saw the irony too.
Irony?
162
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:26,169
Well, you're not a typically
vulnerable or feminine person.
163
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:29,000
And the act of dancing is considered
both vulnerable and feminine.
164
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:32,670
I disagree. What about Fred Astaire?
What about Baryshnikov?
165
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Yeah, I guess.
There are exceptions to the rule.
166
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:38,248
But even when Jerry Rice went
on Dancing With the Stars...
167
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:41,079
Jerry Rice? Oh, my God.
168
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,584
Oh, I liked him.
169
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:46,757
Troy, what's your secret?
170
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,218
Um...
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00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:54,431
M-my secret is that
172
00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:56,594
I knew Britta's secret.
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Yeah. I saw her in her dance outfit
and she looked ridiculous.
174
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:05,101
So I helped her protect her shame.
You know, I'm just glad she's out now.
175
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Bravo, Britta.
Thanks.
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00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:08,871
Mr. Winger, there you are.
177
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,948
Just got word of your relationship
with Professor Slater.
178
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:15,917
I'd like to see both of you in my office
in half an hour.
179
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,522
None of you left the room.
How is that even possible?
180
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:20,954
Well, for one thing,
it's all over Twitter.
181
00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:28,031
Britta in a tutu. Can you imagine?
Ha-ha-ha.
182
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,963
Hey. What the hell?
183
00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:32,763
I thought we were supposed
to come out to the group together.
184
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:35,440
Yeah. I changed my mind.
185
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,575
Well, they're gonna find out
that you dance at the recital.
186
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:40,473
I'm not gonna be in the recital.
I'm dropping the class.
187
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:44,047
Oh, my God, how can you do this
to me? I'm so disappointed in you.
188
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:47,344
Hey, you don't get to talk to me
like that. You are not Shirley.
189
00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:49,111
And Shirley's not my mom.
190
00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:51,948
Britta, it's not like
we were in the same boat.
191
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,682
Girls are supposed to dance.
192
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:56,123
That's why God gave them parts
that jiggle.
193
00:09:56,329 --> 00:10:00,129
But I'd be going from starting quarterback
to a guy that twirls around in tights.
194
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:03,166
I've got way more to lose getting
up on that stage because I'm a man.
195
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:04,461
Well, guess what?
196
00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:07,969
A real man doesn't bail
on his friends, or on himself.
197
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:12,735
You're a dancer, Troy.
It's who you are.
198
00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:16,011
Not anymore.
199
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,410
Excuse me.
Whoa.
200
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,685
Come on.
201
00:10:23,889 --> 00:10:25,220
Upset about Jeff?
202
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:28,154
No, I am upset about
203
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:30,491
something I can't talk about.
204
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:34,427
We could talk about anything.
Politics, medicine, Jeff.
205
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,262
Okay, uh, did you hear that the
Shroud of Turin is actually...?
206
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,030
Here's the thing about Jeff.
Wow.
207
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:44,009
Chasing after you made him a better person
because you always call him on his stuff.
208
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,838
All this time, you've been warming
him up and stirring in sweetener,
209
00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:48,673
and making him just right.
210
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:50,508
And sure,
you weren't ready to take a sip yet.
211
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:52,581
But it didn't mean you want somebody
to snatch him off the counter,
212
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:53,877
guzzle him down
in front of you.
213
00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:58,022
Shirley, I did not warm Jeff up.
Nobody ever will.
214
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:01,022
Do you think Professor Slater
is getting flowers right now?
215
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:04,128
Do you think they are gonna go
to the movies and hold hands?
216
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,632
Visit her parents? No.
217
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,130
The only thing keeping them going
was the thrill of the secrecy.
218
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:12,361
And now that it is out, it is over.
Believe me.
219
00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:17,372
Can... Can I just ask,
as a divorced, black housewife?
220
00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:21,137
What part of being a single, white
slacker makes you people so jaded?
221
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:25,181
Ooh. "You people"?
What do you mean, "you people"?
222
00:11:25,384 --> 00:11:27,011
I cannot believe I got to say that.
223
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,581
Heh-heh.
It's the little things, isn't it?
224
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:32,314
Okay, well,
now that your secret is out there,
225
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,255
I'm just gonna talk you through this
teacher-student relationship form,
226
00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:38,328
and then we can get you two
on your very attractive way.
227
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,226
We haven't even admitted
to being a couple.
228
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,163
In fact, this is all based on hearsay.
Worse than hearsay.
229
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,031
Pierce's Twitter account,
in which he says he's 47,
230
00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:48,331
and teaches
a women's-only Pilates class.
231
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,532
Jeff, it's okay. It's out.
232
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:52,574
And you know what?
It doesn't bother me.
233
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:54,575
I'm happy.
Sweet.
234
00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:59,516
Mm. First question.
How long have you been doing it?
235
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:03,683
Oh, not "it." I mean, this, dating.
236
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,857
A few weeks.
Mm-hm.
237
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:09,050
And how long
have you been doing it?
238
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:12,859
We don't have to answer that.
Oh, it's... Hmm?
239
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,966
Now, this is just hypothetical.
240
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:19,035
Might you ever consider spending
the night with a third person?
241
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,469
That's not on there.
Uh...
242
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:24,202
Wow, it's on there.
243
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:27,072
Just exploring your options,
obviously. Heh-heh-heh.
244
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,413
No agenda. I'll put TBD.
245
00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:33,141
Would you describe yourself
as boyfriend and girlfriend?
246
00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:34,842
Yes.
Eh...
247
00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:36,783
What?
Oh, boy.
248
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:39,116
It's semantics, really, isn't it?
249
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:42,858
We've slept together every night
for the last three weeks.
250
00:12:43,062 --> 00:12:46,293
How would you describe me?
The best friend ever.
251
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,896
Oh.
252
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:51,758
Well, uh... I guess
I've had the wrong idea about us.
253
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:57,298
You know what, this is good.
I'd be better off dating, um, an adult.
254
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,239
See you around.
Michelle.
255
00:13:00,579 --> 00:13:02,410
Rowr.
256
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,115
I'll get the breakup form.
257
00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:16,025
I got freaked out
by that boyfriend label.
258
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:19,092
I'm afraid of commitment.
259
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,663
How original.
Look,
260
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:22,094
the biggest truths
aren't original.
261
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:25,464
Truth is ketchup, it's Jim Belushi.
262
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:28,538
Its job isn't to blow our minds,
it's to be within reach.
263
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:32,108
So the truth is, I get claustrophobic
when things get official.
264
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,279
You're acting like
I'm a Venus flytrap.
265
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,539
I didn't want or need more
than what we were doing.
266
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,614
Let's get back to it.
Should I get the door?
267
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,718
I can't now because
you went to the friend place.
268
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,785
That's you getting official, not me.
269
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:45,354
Because unless there's something
I need to know about the lunch lady,
270
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:48,959
or that blond in your Spanish class with
the infinite supply of leather jackets,
271
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,186
somewhere between
our ninth and 11 th slumber party,
272
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:54,525
statistically speaking, most people
would call us more than pals.
273
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:57,964
Yeah, but soon as you say it,
it can get complicated and messy.
274
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,195
How?
Because when you say it,
275
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:02,237
later on,
you might have to unsay it.
276
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:05,137
Whoopee flipping ding, Winger.
It happens 50 million times a day.
277
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,574
It's the Jim Belushi
of sexual commitments.
278
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:10,840
It barely means anything, and it
grows on what's there over time.
279
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:13,644
Wow, that guy is really taking a
pounding in this conversation.
280
00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:16,345
I'll see you around, Jeff.
281
00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:26,593
I really liked what we were doing.
282
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:30,792
And if the ratio of work to pleasure
can really stay at that same level,
283
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:33,801
I don't care what it's called,
I'll do it.
284
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:35,633
Let's do it.
285
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,048
Okay.
286
00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:50,020
Okay.
287
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,992
Oh. That's a big crowd
out there. Heh.
288
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,395
Abed's really good at inviting people.
289
00:15:03,602 --> 00:15:06,537
We're all here to support you.
Jeff even brought his girlfriend.
290
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:10,231
Oh, she's his girlfriend now?
Can't wait till he hears about it.
291
00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:12,967
Oh, he knows. They even had to
file paperwork with the dean.
292
00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:14,668
It's pretty serious.
293
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,178
Our little Jeff's growing up. Ha.
294
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,482
Oh...
295
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:22,051
Break a leg, Britta.
296
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:25,924
I have no idea how someone could do
what you're about to do. Heh-heh.
297
00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:32,288
I brought Goobers.
Anybody want a Goober?
298
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:33,897
Get them while they're goobie.
299
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,269
Yeah.
Showtime.
300
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,097
Well, this is already ridiculous.
Shh.
301
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:49,307
"Tea for Two"? There...
There's five people.
302
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:51,107
Shh!
303
00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,350
Good Lord.
304
00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:04,092
Is she a water pot or a tea kettle?
Shh.
305
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,199
Any of you think the flowers
are dying from the tea?
306
00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:14,929
Shh!
307
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,266
Everyone can hear you.
308
00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:37,890
Britta.
309
00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:45,525
Water it.
310
00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:49,035
What's going on?
So embarrassing.
311
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,381
Oh, plot twist.
312
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:03,019
Easy girl. There we go.
Uh...
313
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,482
Uh... Ah! Uh...
314
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,352
Thank you.
315
00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:08,685
Yeah.
316
00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:10,321
Play something modern.
317
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:14,824
What are you doing here?
Being a friend and a man.
318
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,025
Oh, thank you.
319
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:20,061
Ah...
320
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:23,435
Aah-aah!
321
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:37,687
It's okay.
322
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:44,425
Culturally, it's unacceptable,
but it's theatrical dynamite.
323
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,024
Hah.
324
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:58,101
Whoo!
Bravo.
325
00:17:58,343 --> 00:18:01,710
Whoo.
Yeah, all right. Greendale.
326
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:04,439
Greendale.
327
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,546
Hi, guys. That was really cool.
I wish I knew how to tap dance.
328
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:12,985
Oh. Thanks, Abed.
329
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:15,456
It takes a lot of hard work,
but you could take a class.
330
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,458
Hmm, pass.
331
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:21,427
Hey, Troy, thank you.
332
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:24,193
No, thank you.
I mean, you looked so pathetic,
333
00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:26,837
you made going up there
the most masculine option.
334
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,639
Mm.
335
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:34,538
Troy. Oh.
336
00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:36,475
What you did up there
really took guts.
337
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,650
I'm impressed.
Thanks, Pierce.
338
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:42,480
Yeah. And such a creative way
to tell the world you're gay.
339
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,321
Good job up there.
Thank you.
340
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:48,322
Where's your date?
Didn't she wanna get my autograph?
341
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:51,587
Oh. She's getting a permission slip from the
dean to allow us to drive home together.
342
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,960
Heard you guys are official now.
Yeah, I guess.
343
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:56,896
You actually had a big part in that.
344
00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:59,662
I mean, if I can handle
having a girl for a friend,
345
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,363
who's to say I'm not ready
for a girlfriend?
346
00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:04,701
Makes perfect sense. Break a leg.
347
00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:10,208
Flowers.
Yeah.
348
00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:11,882
Uh, is that...?
That's what people do, right?
349
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,951
I was gonna throw them up on stage,
but I thought they might catch fire.
350
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,783
No, this is... This is good.
You can hand them to me. Thank you.
351
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:21,448
See you Monday.
Bye.
352
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:52,389
Good night, everybody.
353
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:59,395
Five letters, Broadway musical.
Annie.
354
00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:02,465
Uh, six letters, to puncture.
Pierce.
355
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,159
Um, a water filter that starts with B.
Britta.
356
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,928
Okay. There's a tough one, though.
357
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:09,300
Um, Helen of...
Troy.
358
00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:10,873
Oh, damn, you're good.
Thank you.
359
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:12,338
I never even heard
of that last one.
360
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,876
All right, uh, one of the two
brother actors, Bridges,
361
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,911
four letters.
362
00:20:17,649 --> 00:20:19,810
Hmm.
I know. Bridges.
363
00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:21,212
I don't know.
Come on, guys,
364
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:22,853
can't you see the pattern there?
365
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,580
Can you see it?
It's Beau, Beau Bridges.
366
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:28,259
These are all things
you can see on TV.
367
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:29,791
Except for pierce, that's a misdirect.
368
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,758
Oh.
Oh.
369
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,899
I love misdirects.
I love The Big Lebowski.