1 00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:04,330 Previously on Weeds... 2 00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:05,748 Hello. 3 00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:07,249 - Hi. - My son. 4 00:00:07,333 --> 00:00:10,961 - Tim and I were just gonna play a game. - I'm just not really very good at games. 5 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:13,589 My mom is. I guess she's a lot smarter than you. 6 00:00:13,672 --> 00:00:14,840 Kesheshian says "goodbye". 7 00:00:14,924 --> 00:00:16,926 - Peter? He's dead? - Yes! 8 00:00:17,009 --> 00:00:21,388 Agent Fundis, DEA. I'm here to talk about Peter Scottson. I'm his partner. 9 00:00:21,472 --> 00:00:23,140 The one who burps? 10 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:26,268 I get stares. Children cry and run away. 11 00:00:26,352 --> 00:00:27,603 Give a friend of mine a call. 12 00:00:27,686 --> 00:00:31,482 We're shooting a movie in one of our empty houses. Needs a caterer. 13 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:35,027 I'd like to solve the mystery of the school that receives federal funding, 14 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:40,532 yet promotes a religious curriculum in direct violation of Church-State separation mandates. 15 00:00:40,616 --> 00:00:42,409 Sit down, Shane Botwin. 16 00:00:42,493 --> 00:00:43,827 I have cancer. 17 00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:45,412 Puppies are coming off, Nance. 18 00:00:45,496 --> 00:00:49,041 After reconstructive surgery, you're gonna feel good as new. 19 00:00:49,124 --> 00:00:53,546 I'm separated. Dancing my way to divorce. 20 00:00:53,629 --> 00:00:55,130 You're gonna help me celebrate. 21 00:00:55,214 --> 00:00:59,009 My last two relationships, both guys ended up dead. 22 00:01:04,181 --> 00:01:06,809 ♪ Boxes on the hillside 23 00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:09,895 ♪ Little boxes made of ticky-tacky 24 00:01:09,979 --> 00:01:12,898 ♪ Little boxes on the hillside 25 00:01:12,982 --> 00:01:15,859 ♪ Little boxes all the same 26 00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:18,904 ♪ There's a green one and a pink one 27 00:01:18,988 --> 00:01:21,824 ♪ And a blue one and a yellow one 28 00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:24,785 ♪ And they're all made out of ticky-tacky 29 00:01:24,869 --> 00:01:27,580 ♪ And they all look just the same 30 00:01:29,331 --> 00:01:32,251 ♪ And the people in the houses 31 00:01:32,334 --> 00:01:35,170 ♪ All went to the university 32 00:01:35,254 --> 00:01:38,090 ♪ Where they were put in boxes 33 00:01:38,173 --> 00:01:41,385 ♪ And they came out all the same 34 00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:44,096 ♪ And there's doctors and lawyers 35 00:01:44,179 --> 00:01:47,057 ♪ And business executives 36 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:49,894 ♪ And they're all made out of ticky-tacky 37 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:53,731 ♪ And they all look just the same ♪ 38 00:02:01,739 --> 00:02:02,990 Captain? 39 00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,412 All right, Fundis, tell me a story. 40 00:02:09,788 --> 00:02:13,918 Er, a man flying a kite found Scottson. 41 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,462 We think he was stuffed in a drainpipe, 42 00:02:16,545 --> 00:02:18,756 till a grate busted in the rain, and... 43 00:02:19,590 --> 00:02:20,591 up came Pete. 44 00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:24,803 - Can't you take something for that? - I've tried everything. 45 00:02:24,887 --> 00:02:27,056 Well, pop a fucking breath mint. 46 00:02:27,139 --> 00:02:28,849 What did you eat, pastrami? 47 00:02:28,933 --> 00:02:31,393 - On rye, sir. - What else, Fundis? 48 00:02:31,477 --> 00:02:34,605 Well, close-range shot to the head. 49 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:37,566 - It's ugly. - Who, why, when? 50 00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:40,569 I've been trying to figure that out since he went missing. 51 00:02:40,653 --> 00:02:44,031 You know, retracing his steps, asking... 52 00:02:48,327 --> 00:02:51,497 - What's that? - Summer reading from Internal Affairs. 53 00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:53,582 Quite the ripping yarn. 54 00:02:57,378 --> 00:03:00,548 "Retracing his steps"? How about "covering your ass"? 55 00:03:00,631 --> 00:03:04,218 You got another story you want to tell me, Fundis? 56 00:03:04,301 --> 00:03:07,638 My career just took a swan dive into a shit can. 57 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:11,684 I want to thank you for that. Pete, too, since it appears he was the brains 58 00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:15,354 behind the skimming, extortion, wiretapping, 59 00:03:15,437 --> 00:03:18,107 evidence-planting operation you two had going. 60 00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:20,401 But good thing for us he turned up the way he did, 61 00:03:20,484 --> 00:03:22,027 and we don't have to get honest. 62 00:03:22,111 --> 00:03:26,031 So here's the new story, Agent Asshole Motherfucker Choke-on-my-dick. 63 00:03:26,115 --> 00:03:29,118 You got three days to find whatever money is left over 64 00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:30,786 from your little side business. 65 00:03:30,870 --> 00:03:33,747 And before you clean out your locker for early retirement, 66 00:03:33,831 --> 00:03:36,458 take your uniform to the dry-cleaner's. 67 00:03:36,542 --> 00:03:40,129 Cos we have a fucking hero to stick in the ground. 68 00:03:43,799 --> 00:03:47,136 Peter Scottson served with dignity and honour 69 00:03:47,219 --> 00:03:49,680 in one of our most difficult jobs. 70 00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:53,350 And for those of us here today, there will be no rest 71 00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,395 until those who put him here are brought to justice. 72 00:03:56,478 --> 00:03:58,397 Dear Lord, 73 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,733 we sadly send you another son in blue. 74 00:04:00,816 --> 00:04:04,987 In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen. 75 00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,739 Amen. 76 00:04:26,050 --> 00:04:27,468 Oh, God. 77 00:04:30,262 --> 00:04:33,140 - Hello? - What are you wearing? 78 00:04:33,224 --> 00:04:35,017 You gave me the day off, boss. 79 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,269 Oh, come on. Indulge a pervert. 80 00:04:38,854 --> 00:04:41,857 Black dress, black shoes, black everything. 81 00:04:41,941 --> 00:04:45,486 - I bet you look better in red. - Not appropriate for faking grief. 82 00:04:45,569 --> 00:04:47,363 Don't know what that means. Don't care. 83 00:04:47,446 --> 00:04:50,324 - I bought you a gift. - No, you should take it back. 84 00:04:50,407 --> 00:04:52,576 Don't you want to know what it is? 85 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,537 It's my day off. 86 00:04:56,205 --> 00:04:58,374 When are we gonna have sex again? 87 00:04:58,457 --> 00:05:01,168 When I'm feeling desperate again. 88 00:05:02,294 --> 00:05:04,088 And when do you think that might be? 89 00:05:55,931 --> 00:05:58,726 You get lost on your way to Forest Lawn? 90 00:06:01,812 --> 00:06:03,606 Never knew the man. 91 00:06:05,524 --> 00:06:08,527 - Is Conrad around? - Do you see Conrad? 92 00:06:11,697 --> 00:06:15,075 How about one time, just for laughs, I'll ask you a question, 93 00:06:15,159 --> 00:06:17,995 and you maybe answer me, you know, like a human? 94 00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:21,415 What can I say? You bring out the "fuck you" in me. 95 00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:26,086 Fine. Moving on. Bringing good news. You're free. 96 00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:28,672 Abe Lincoln beat you to it. What else you got? 97 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:32,176 I took care of your debt. You don't owe Marvin anything. 98 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:36,096 You're gonna have trouble moving your shit on the streets, but you still have me. 99 00:06:36,180 --> 00:06:40,893 I have a new territory opening up three times the size of Agrestic, so... 100 00:06:41,518 --> 00:06:43,145 You're welcome. 101 00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:47,024 No thanks necessary, since I assume 102 00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:50,402 none are coming. 103 00:06:52,363 --> 00:06:54,782 - What's that? - I'm making a buy. 104 00:06:54,865 --> 00:06:57,451 Little Miss Nancy Do-good. 105 00:06:57,535 --> 00:07:01,497 Burying her boyfriend and back to dealing dime bags. 106 00:07:02,164 --> 00:07:04,500 All things in their proper place. 107 00:07:04,583 --> 00:07:07,044 Yeah, praise Jesus, blah, blah, blah. 108 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,046 Oh, am I boring you? 109 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:12,508 Well, I will stop wasting your precious time. 110 00:07:12,591 --> 00:07:14,009 We're a bulk business now, 111 00:07:14,093 --> 00:07:16,971 so you can take your little milk money down to the corner. 112 00:07:17,054 --> 00:07:20,432 - Can I talk to Conrad? - He's over with the pot clubs. 113 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:25,479 Large customers with large money. 114 00:07:25,563 --> 00:07:29,650 Now, you come back with five figures, and we'll do business. 115 00:07:30,943 --> 00:07:32,194 Hell, 116 00:07:33,362 --> 00:07:35,656 I'll even throw in a fountain. 117 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,921 Oh, hey, Nance. 118 00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:54,091 Doug, you're cooking in my kitchen. 119 00:07:55,384 --> 00:07:58,429 - There's a reason for that? - Andy's on set. I'm helping him out. 120 00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,222 Oh, that's nice. 121 00:08:01,891 --> 00:08:05,978 Oh, that's from the tall one. Leif Garretty, Blue Lagoon-ish? 122 00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:08,105 - Silas? - Yeah. Said you were out of weed, 123 00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,774 then he took off with a blonde. Tiny tits, big cross? 124 00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,276 - Tara. - And your other one, 125 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,195 - big vocab, creepy eyes? - Shane. 126 00:08:15,279 --> 00:08:17,656 He's outside with what's-her-name. 127 00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:19,366 - Celia's dyke. - Isabelle. 128 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:25,539 - Hey, Mrs. Botwin. - Hello, Isabelle, Shane. 129 00:08:25,623 --> 00:08:28,375 - An unlikely duo. - We've bonded through sin. 130 00:08:28,459 --> 00:08:29,668 And school suspension. 131 00:08:29,752 --> 00:08:32,463 - As in... - Don't come back until you love Jesus. 132 00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:35,966 - They call it reflection. - And we got three days of it. 133 00:08:37,176 --> 00:08:39,011 And how are we going to reflect? 134 00:08:39,094 --> 00:08:40,763 Wii tournament. 135 00:08:41,972 --> 00:08:43,766 Oh, my first pay check! 136 00:08:44,934 --> 00:08:45,935 Ha! 137 00:08:52,191 --> 00:08:55,069 My son's bringing in more money than I am. 138 00:08:59,073 --> 00:09:01,659 Any chance I could borrow $10,000? 139 00:09:02,952 --> 00:09:05,204 How fast can you turn it around? 140 00:09:05,287 --> 00:09:09,416 Seriously? Turn it around in a month. You got 10 grand? 141 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:13,003 If you could form a dummy corp. And I form a dummy corp. 142 00:09:13,087 --> 00:09:17,049 You find a supplier to accept the check, I know an accountant/councilman 143 00:09:17,132 --> 00:09:19,885 - with access to a civic investment portfolio... - Can you do it? 144 00:09:19,969 --> 00:09:22,846 - Have before. - Do it. 145 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,476 Make it $50,000. 146 00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:31,063 "Aguatecture. " What is that, a colonic spa? 147 00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:35,568 - Shane, where's your karate contact sheet? - Drawer by the coffee maker. 148 00:09:49,206 --> 00:09:52,251 All right, Lex, come on, baby. Big finish. Big finish. 149 00:09:52,334 --> 00:09:54,628 Let's show them how they do it in Jersey, baby. 150 00:09:54,712 --> 00:09:57,089 Oh, yes! Lovely, people. 151 00:09:57,172 --> 00:09:59,258 - Cut! Cut! - Is there any more? 152 00:09:59,341 --> 00:10:02,678 Let's take a break. Everybody, rinse out. We'll be back in 10. 153 00:10:02,761 --> 00:10:06,181 Wow, Paul. Great scene. You're really an artist. 154 00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:09,018 Well, thanks. We don't hear that enough in this business. 155 00:10:09,101 --> 00:10:12,187 And that's a tragedy. I mean, the genre's been hijacked 156 00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:16,483 by amateurs, sure, but when I see your attention to detail, 157 00:10:16,567 --> 00:10:20,696 the framing, the risks you take, it makes this viewer... 158 00:10:20,779 --> 00:10:24,200 I guess you should know, I've always wanted to... 159 00:10:24,283 --> 00:10:27,453 Be in porn? Every caterer does. 160 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:30,289 Well, I think I could be great. 161 00:10:30,372 --> 00:10:32,666 Look, I respect your ambition, 162 00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:34,960 and I'd love to make it happen for you, 163 00:10:35,044 --> 00:10:36,712 but I work with gods. 164 00:10:36,795 --> 00:10:39,089 Jessica, she comes like a fountain. 165 00:10:39,173 --> 00:10:41,133 Lex is packing a fucking Buick. 166 00:10:41,217 --> 00:10:44,887 It's all about that something special in this business. 167 00:10:46,055 --> 00:10:48,807 What makes you special, Andy? 168 00:10:52,353 --> 00:10:54,688 Footfuckers, scene one. "A" camera, mark. 169 00:10:54,772 --> 00:10:56,690 And action. 170 00:10:56,774 --> 00:10:58,067 Coming! 171 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,281 Hello. 172 00:11:04,365 --> 00:11:08,911 I have a package for Mrs. Dowling. Are you authorised to sign for it? 173 00:11:08,994 --> 00:11:12,831 Your feet must be aching from all the walking around that you do. 174 00:11:12,915 --> 00:11:15,125 Well, it is a lot of walking. 175 00:11:15,209 --> 00:11:18,254 Well, why don't you come inside and take your shoes off? 176 00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:23,801 That's right. Use your something special, kid. Show me what you got. 177 00:11:24,969 --> 00:11:28,264 Use that big toe! That's fucking great! 178 00:11:28,347 --> 00:11:32,184 Footfuckers 2: Viva Las Vegas. Scene one. "A" camera, mark. 179 00:11:32,268 --> 00:11:33,686 And action. 180 00:11:33,769 --> 00:11:35,479 Coming! 181 00:11:38,148 --> 00:11:40,025 Room service. 182 00:11:40,109 --> 00:11:41,944 I ordered that about two hours ago. 183 00:11:42,027 --> 00:11:46,907 I'm sorry, ma'am. The elevator got stuck. I had to climb all 43 floors to get here. 184 00:11:46,991 --> 00:11:49,034 Well, your feet must be killing you. 185 00:11:49,118 --> 00:11:52,371 There's a huge market for fetish videos in Eastern Europe. 186 00:11:52,454 --> 00:11:54,665 You're gonna be a huge star in Belarus. 187 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,500 - I mean, huge! - Oh, yeah! 188 00:11:56,584 --> 00:11:59,545 Good! Good! Get dirty, Andy! Get dirty! 189 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,092 I finish with the backyard, Mrs. Dowling. 190 00:12:05,175 --> 00:12:08,762 - OK, OK, thrust, thrust! - Oh, cramping, cramping! 191 00:12:08,846 --> 00:12:10,890 - Cut! - Ow, ow, ow! 192 00:12:25,696 --> 00:12:28,949 Well, if it isn't the Music Man of Majestic. 193 00:12:29,033 --> 00:12:30,993 My partner in altruistic bullshit. 194 00:12:31,076 --> 00:12:34,079 How are you this afternoon, Councilwoman? 195 00:12:34,163 --> 00:12:35,998 Smiling. 196 00:12:36,665 --> 00:12:39,877 - You got my gift? - Not why I'm smiling. 197 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,587 But, yes, I did. 198 00:12:42,838 --> 00:12:44,590 Piece of advice. 199 00:12:44,673 --> 00:12:49,178 Never send a woman a dress she might not fit into. 200 00:12:50,012 --> 00:12:52,598 - Did you try it on? - It's a size 2. 201 00:12:52,681 --> 00:12:56,143 Flattering and annoying at the same time. 202 00:12:56,227 --> 00:12:59,146 I thought your breasts would look good in red. 203 00:13:00,105 --> 00:13:03,192 Well, it's a nice thought. 204 00:13:03,275 --> 00:13:05,903 Listen, I want to see you. 205 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:09,156 Wear whatever dress you want, or no dress at all. 206 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:10,991 I'm almost divorced. 207 00:13:11,075 --> 00:13:12,451 Mazel tov. 208 00:13:12,535 --> 00:13:15,454 Would you like to help me celebrate? 209 00:13:17,915 --> 00:13:19,833 You know where I live. 210 00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:24,588 I do. I do, indeed. See you, Councilwoman. 211 00:13:30,344 --> 00:13:33,055 - Sure you want to do this? - Yeah. 212 00:13:33,138 --> 00:13:36,684 All right, hold it up to your mouth, and I'll light it. 213 00:13:40,062 --> 00:13:42,523 - How is it? - It's... 214 00:13:42,606 --> 00:13:46,318 - It's kind of gross. - Do you feel anything different? 215 00:13:46,402 --> 00:13:49,029 I feel like I want to brush my teeth. 216 00:13:49,113 --> 00:13:52,241 - Maybe it's bad shit. - But my dad gets it from your mom. 217 00:13:56,954 --> 00:14:01,125 You know my mom's a drug dealer? 218 00:14:02,668 --> 00:14:04,753 I saw her come over once. 219 00:14:05,754 --> 00:14:07,631 I didn't tell anyone. 220 00:14:08,924 --> 00:14:10,759 I won't tell anyone. 221 00:14:11,844 --> 00:14:13,137 Thanks. 222 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,435 - You gonna try it? - Yeah. 223 00:14:20,811 --> 00:14:23,856 This is that moment where I finally become cool, right? 224 00:14:23,939 --> 00:14:26,233 No. Just stoned. 225 00:15:04,939 --> 00:15:07,983 Stop it, stop it! 226 00:15:09,526 --> 00:15:10,819 Stop it! 227 00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:21,956 That's very funny, Tim. Open the door. 228 00:15:23,457 --> 00:15:26,210 Open the fucking door! OK. 229 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:31,465 ♪ People say stay away from her cos she's a sinking ship 230 00:15:33,384 --> 00:15:36,512 ♪ People say I'm wrong, that my brain... ♪ 231 00:15:36,595 --> 00:15:38,389 No, look, please. 232 00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:41,100 You don't talk to me. You can't talk to me. 233 00:15:41,183 --> 00:15:46,313 ♪ I say feed the flames and watch them run away 234 00:15:49,984 --> 00:15:54,530 ♪ Open up your chest for me... ♪ 235 00:15:54,613 --> 00:15:55,990 That's my fault, too. 236 00:15:57,032 --> 00:16:01,662 ♪ And I will build a house... ♪ 237 00:16:03,122 --> 00:16:05,374 Tim! Jesus! 238 00:16:05,457 --> 00:16:07,585 Oh, my God, are you OK? 239 00:16:07,668 --> 00:16:09,962 - Your kid's not OK! - I'm so sorry. 240 00:16:10,045 --> 00:16:11,380 Get some help for him! 241 00:16:11,463 --> 00:16:15,217 - Is it OK if I have one of your cigarettes? - It's OK if you help your kid! 242 00:16:15,301 --> 00:16:19,013 - I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry. - Yeah, you say that all the time! 243 00:16:19,096 --> 00:16:21,724 ♪ People say you're wild 244 00:16:21,807 --> 00:16:26,270 ♪ You've been christened a feral child 245 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:29,315 ♪ You need pornography 246 00:16:29,398 --> 00:16:32,610 ♪ To help you sleep at night 247 00:16:33,527 --> 00:16:37,239 ♪ They said I wrestled around for years 248 00:16:37,323 --> 00:16:40,826 ♪ With my own demise because 249 00:16:40,910 --> 00:16:43,704 ♪ You had twin violins 250 00:16:43,787 --> 00:16:46,790 ♪ Playing maladies through your eyes 251 00:16:49,668 --> 00:16:56,258 ♪ Peel apart your weathered scars 252 00:16:56,800 --> 00:17:02,056 ♪ And I will build a house 253 00:17:04,058 --> 00:17:11,190 ♪ And open up your chest for me 254 00:17:11,273 --> 00:17:14,818 ♪ And I will live there like a mouse... ♪ 255 00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:16,862 No, hey, hey, I have the money. 256 00:17:16,946 --> 00:17:19,406 I just went in to get a quarter. Hello? 257 00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:24,078 You know what? Fuck you, OK? Fuck you! 258 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,824 Thanks. That was my first boob. 259 00:18:02,783 --> 00:18:04,243 How was it? 260 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,328 Good. 261 00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:13,210 Do you want to touch my, you know... 262 00:18:13,836 --> 00:18:15,880 Not really into penises. 263 00:18:22,386 --> 00:18:26,223 - Why haven't we ever hung out before? - I don't know. 264 00:18:26,765 --> 00:18:28,726 My mom hates your mom? 265 00:18:29,935 --> 00:18:33,105 I think my mom's secretly in love with your mom. 266 00:18:34,773 --> 00:18:38,360 I think my dad loved me more than my mom does. 267 00:18:38,444 --> 00:18:40,154 My mom's a bitch. 268 00:18:41,447 --> 00:18:45,492 But I miss her. I don't know why. 269 00:18:47,703 --> 00:18:49,538 Do you feel stoned? 270 00:18:51,207 --> 00:18:52,499 I guess. 271 00:18:53,417 --> 00:18:56,587 - I don't see what the big deal is. - Yeah. 272 00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:58,297 I prefer beer. 273 00:18:59,298 --> 00:19:01,508 I prefer touching your boob. 274 00:19:21,987 --> 00:19:24,031 You want to make a buy? 275 00:19:25,908 --> 00:19:29,828 I said, would you like to make a buy? 276 00:19:34,291 --> 00:19:36,752 All right, let's... Let's just cut. 277 00:19:36,835 --> 00:19:38,254 Cut! 278 00:19:38,337 --> 00:19:40,506 You did great, kid. You really did. Come on up. 279 00:19:40,589 --> 00:19:44,718 You got your foot in the door. Or, in this case, your foot in Jessica. 280 00:19:44,802 --> 00:19:48,305 - Hey, go get Lex. - Wait, wait, wait. That's it? 281 00:19:48,389 --> 00:19:50,266 Thanks for the foot, warm up the hot dogs? 282 00:19:50,349 --> 00:19:53,018 - I've been working all day. - What do you want, a medal? 283 00:19:53,102 --> 00:19:57,022 It's a job. And, yeah, go warm up the hot dogs. 284 00:19:58,315 --> 00:20:00,109 Well, that's bullshit. 285 00:20:00,192 --> 00:20:03,153 Hey, I'm talking to you, Paul St. Moritz! 286 00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:06,615 I always stood up for pornography. 287 00:20:06,699 --> 00:20:09,952 I believed in it. I thought it provided an essential service. 288 00:20:10,035 --> 00:20:12,121 Light up a young person's imagination, 289 00:20:12,204 --> 00:20:15,249 help a sexless marriage, keep a predator off the street! 290 00:20:15,332 --> 00:20:19,044 I thought porn was magical. Now, I see it for what it really is. 291 00:20:19,128 --> 00:20:22,756 It's a flesh factory and we are all slabs of meat. 292 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:27,928 Lex here is not an unbelievably enormous dick. 293 00:20:28,012 --> 00:20:30,055 And I'm not a foot. 294 00:20:30,139 --> 00:20:33,475 - You're not a foot, Andy. - Thanks, Lex. We're human beings. 295 00:20:33,559 --> 00:20:35,769 I gave you my something special, and you ate it. 296 00:20:35,853 --> 00:20:41,192 You took something beautiful, like Jessica's vagina, 297 00:20:41,275 --> 00:20:44,069 and you made it just a place to put a foot. 298 00:20:44,904 --> 00:20:48,032 You need to do some soul-searching, my friend. 299 00:20:48,115 --> 00:20:50,201 This whole industry does. 300 00:20:50,784 --> 00:20:55,164 It exploits, it dehumanises, it degrades men. 301 00:20:57,333 --> 00:21:00,169 - Everybody back to one. - Back to one! 302 00:21:01,795 --> 00:21:03,214 This is from Nancy. 303 00:21:04,340 --> 00:21:08,469 - First time I ever took a cheque. - She said she wants her fountain. 304 00:21:11,472 --> 00:21:12,765 Conrad! 305 00:21:14,934 --> 00:21:17,561 - And what's your name? - Judah. 306 00:21:17,645 --> 00:21:19,230 And this is... 307 00:21:20,147 --> 00:21:22,900 - Sunshine. - Is that right? 308 00:21:22,983 --> 00:21:25,569 Well, Mr Judah, Ms Sunshine, 309 00:21:25,653 --> 00:21:29,240 you tell the City of Agrestic we're impressed. 310 00:21:29,323 --> 00:21:32,284 And you tell Nancy, if this cheque bounces, 311 00:21:33,035 --> 00:21:35,829 - she better start running. - I'll do that. 312 00:21:43,671 --> 00:21:44,672 Stop. 313 00:21:44,755 --> 00:21:47,007 - I want to, but I can't. - Stop. 314 00:21:50,928 --> 00:21:53,722 I have cancer. I had cancer. 315 00:21:58,811 --> 00:22:00,563 They cut them off. 316 00:22:01,230 --> 00:22:02,940 These are... 317 00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:06,485 spare parts. 318 00:22:09,363 --> 00:22:10,948 I don't care. 319 00:22:32,094 --> 00:22:35,764 - No, I need to leave my top on. - Celia Hodes, 320 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:41,437 you're a smart, ambitious, sexy woman. 321 00:22:41,770 --> 00:22:43,439 I'm embarrassed. 322 00:22:44,899 --> 00:22:48,360 I haven't gotten hard on my own for two years. 323 00:22:49,486 --> 00:22:52,907 - I've been popping magical boner pills. - Magical boner pills? 324 00:22:52,990 --> 00:22:54,074 Yeah. 325 00:22:54,158 --> 00:22:57,161 I took one in your driveway half an hour ago. 326 00:22:57,661 --> 00:22:59,872 Do you like my penis any less? 327 00:23:04,001 --> 00:23:07,254 No. No, I don't. 328 00:23:08,589 --> 00:23:10,007 We're used. 329 00:23:11,383 --> 00:23:13,802 It doesn't mean we can't be sexy. 330 00:23:13,886 --> 00:23:17,431 Doesn't mean we can't, pardon my language, 331 00:23:18,265 --> 00:23:19,642 fuck like bunnies. 332 00:23:35,783 --> 00:23:36,909 Cool. 333 00:23:50,881 --> 00:23:55,594 If I still had feeling in my nipple, I bet that would be amazing. 334 00:23:55,678 --> 00:23:58,389 All right, enough. Listen to me. 335 00:23:59,223 --> 00:24:01,141 I barely know you, 336 00:24:01,225 --> 00:24:03,018 but the first time I saw you, 337 00:24:03,102 --> 00:24:07,064 there was something about you that was so familiar. 338 00:24:07,147 --> 00:24:09,233 Familiar in the best way. 339 00:24:10,860 --> 00:24:14,864 Like we shared something, like... 340 00:24:14,947 --> 00:24:16,532 we had a secret. 341 00:24:17,616 --> 00:24:20,578 I just want to know you. I don't know why. 342 00:24:21,412 --> 00:24:22,830 I just do. 343 00:24:23,497 --> 00:24:25,332 OK. Stop talking. 344 00:24:38,888 --> 00:24:41,223 - Hello. - Hi. 345 00:24:41,682 --> 00:24:43,434 Mrs. Botwin. 346 00:24:43,767 --> 00:24:46,020 - That's me. - I'm Valerie. 347 00:24:46,103 --> 00:24:48,314 You want to take a step up to the x-ray machine? 348 00:24:48,397 --> 00:24:49,607 OK. 349 00:24:53,736 --> 00:24:54,778 You're the doctor? 350 00:24:54,862 --> 00:24:58,115 Oh, no, doctor's at lunch. I just take the x-rays. 351 00:24:59,074 --> 00:25:01,785 - You can take out your breast. - What? 352 00:25:03,495 --> 00:25:05,122 Oh, right, right. 353 00:25:05,206 --> 00:25:07,541 Mammogram's nothing to be nervous about. 354 00:25:07,625 --> 00:25:10,836 - It'll be over in a minute. - Right. Sorry. 355 00:25:11,545 --> 00:25:12,713 I'm sorry. 356 00:25:12,796 --> 00:25:15,841 Why are you apologising? You've got great breasts. 357 00:25:15,925 --> 00:25:18,427 - These? - You should see some of the jugs we get. 358 00:25:18,510 --> 00:25:19,595 Gravity's cruel. 359 00:25:19,678 --> 00:25:21,889 All right, lift up your breast 360 00:25:21,972 --> 00:25:24,350 and get as much of it onto the plate as you can. 361 00:25:24,433 --> 00:25:25,768 - Erm... - All right? 362 00:25:25,851 --> 00:25:28,103 Just get it all on there. Just spread it out. 363 00:25:28,187 --> 00:25:30,856 - No. No. - Just right on there. 364 00:25:30,940 --> 00:25:34,401 Yeah, no, that's great. That's great. OK, now you're gonna feel... 365 00:25:34,485 --> 00:25:38,239 - Really? ... a little bit of pressure when I lower the top. 366 00:25:38,322 --> 00:25:40,741 - And... smush. - Aah... 367 00:25:40,824 --> 00:25:44,286 OK, I know it's probably uncomfortable, but I'm fast. 368 00:25:52,086 --> 00:25:54,129 Do you like this job? 369 00:25:57,049 --> 00:26:00,761 - Are you locked in? - Oh, yeah. Ready to go. 370 00:26:01,845 --> 00:26:03,430 I know who you are. 371 00:26:06,517 --> 00:26:07,851 Excuse me? 372 00:26:07,935 --> 00:26:09,937 I... 373 00:26:10,020 --> 00:26:11,939 know... 374 00:26:12,022 --> 00:26:14,191 who... 375 00:26:14,275 --> 00:26:15,442 you... 376 00:26:15,526 --> 00:26:16,819 are. 377 00:26:23,409 --> 00:26:27,413 So, Nancy Botwin, why are you here? 378 00:26:28,414 --> 00:26:30,332 And what do you want? 379 00:26:30,416 --> 00:26:33,419 And why the fuck are you stalking me? 380 00:26:42,887 --> 00:26:46,682 ♪ A seagull stole him from his slow mamma's hands 381 00:26:46,765 --> 00:26:50,144 ♪ Aboard the boat the sweet Louisa 382 00:26:50,227 --> 00:26:52,980 ♪ And dropped him in the meadowlands where 383 00:26:53,063 --> 00:26:55,774 ♪ Wild hyenas 384 00:26:55,858 --> 00:26:58,110 ♪ Taught him how to hunt old elephants 385 00:26:58,194 --> 00:27:01,197 ♪ So he spent his formative years 386 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,365 ♪ Eating out badunkadunk 387 00:27:03,949 --> 00:27:06,535 ♪ Fee fi fo fum 388 00:27:06,619 --> 00:27:09,330 ♪ I smell the blood of an Englishman 389 00:27:09,413 --> 00:27:11,457 ♪ Fee fi fo fum 390 00:27:11,540 --> 00:27:14,919 ♪ I smell the blood of an Englishman... ♪