1
00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:04,435
<i>Previously on Weeds.</i>

2
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:05,794
Hello.

3
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,233
- Hi.
- My son.

4
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:10,790
- Tim and I were just gonna play a game.
- I'm just not really very good at games.

5
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,314
My mom is. I guess she's a lot smarter than you.

6
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:14,515
Kesheshian says "goodbye".

7
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,511
- Peter? He's dead?
- Yes!

8
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:20,798
Agent Fundis, DEA. I'm here to talk
about Peter Scottson. I'm his partner.

9
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,472
- The one who burps?
- (Burps)

10
00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,472
I get stares. Children cry and run away.

11
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:26,754
Give a friend of mine a call.

12
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:30,469
We're shooting a movie
in one of our empty houses. Needs a caterer.

13
00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,870
I'd like to solve the mystery
of the school that receives federal funding,

14
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:39,159
yet promotes a religious curriculum in direct
violation of Church-State separation mandates.

15
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,958
Sit down, Shane Botwin.

16
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,314
I have cancer.

17
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:43,833
Puppies are coming off, Nance.

18
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,310
After reconstructive surgery,
you're gonna feel good as new.

19
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:51,632
I'm separated. Dancing my way to divorce.

20
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,153
You're gonna help me celebrate.

21
00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:56,869
My last two relationships,
both guys ended up dead.

22
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,354
<i>♪ (Man Man) Boxes on the hillside</i>

23
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,318
<i>♪ Little boxes made of ticky-tacky</i>

24
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,198
<i>♪ Little boxes on the hillside</i>

25
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,033
<i>♪ Little boxes all the same</i>

26
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,953
<i>♪ There's a green one and a pink one</i>

27
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,759
<i>♪ And a blue one and a yellow one</i>

28
00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,593
<i>♪ And they're all made out of ticky-tacky</i>

29
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:24,274
<i>♪ And they all lookjust the same</i>

30
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,758
<i>♪ And the people in the houses</i>

31
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,559
<i>♪ All went to the university</i>

32
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,359
<i>♪ Where they were put in boxes</i>

33
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,512
<i>♪ And they came out all the same</i>

34
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,114
<i>♪ And there's doctors and lawyers</i>

35
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,953
<i>♪ And business executives</i>

36
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,679
<i>♪ And they're all made out of ticky-tacky</i>

37
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:49,355
<i>♪ And they all lookjust the same ♪

38
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,035
(Slurps)

39
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,234
Captain?

40
00:01:58,320 --> 00:01:59,275
(Burps)

41
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,429
All right, Fundis, tell me a story.

44
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:13,356
till a grate busted in the rain, and...

45
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,115
up came Pete.

46
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,349
(Burps)

47
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,159
- Can't you take something for that?
- I've tried everything.

48
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,310
Well, pop a fucking breath mint.

49
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,038
What did you eat, pastrami?

50
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,475
<i>- (Fundis) On rye, sir.</i>
<i>- (Man) What else, Fundis?</i>

51
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,552
<i>(Fundis) Well, close-range shot</i>
<i>to the head.</i>

52
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,393
<i>- It's ugly.</i>
<i>- (Man) Who, why, when?</i>

53
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,278
<i>(Fundis) I've been trying to figure that out</i>
<i>since he went missing.</i>

54
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,591
You know, retracing his steps, asking...

55
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,757
- What's that?
- Summer reading from Internal Affairs.

56
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,751
Quite the ripping yarn.

57
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,437
"Retracing his steps"?
How about "covering your ass"?

58
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,956
You got another story
you want to tell me, Fundis?

59
00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,237
<i>My careerjust took a swan dive</i>
<i>into a shit can.</i>

60
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:04,108
I want to thank you for that.
Pete, too, since it appears he was the brains

61
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,636
behind the skimming, extortion, wiretapping,

62
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,280
evidence-planting operation you two had going.

63
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,476
But good thing for us
he turned up the way he did,

64
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,039
and we don't have to get honest.

65
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:17,874
So here's the new story, Agent Asshole
Motherfucker Choke-on-my-dick.

66
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,838
<i>You got three days</i>
<i>to find whatever money is left over</i>

67
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,433
<i>from your little side business.</i>

68
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,273
<i>And before you clean out your locker</i>
<i>for early retirement,</i>

69
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,874
<i>take your uniform to the dry-cleaner's.</i>

70
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,396
Cos we have a fucking hero
to stick in the ground.

71
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,117
(Man) Peter Scottson served with dignity
and honour

72
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,555
in one of our most difficult jobs.

73
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:44,077
And for those of us here today,
there will be no rest

74
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,993
until those who put him here
are brought to justice.

75
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,911
Dear Lord,

76
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,150
we sadly send you another son in blue.

77
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:55,233
In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.

78
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:56,912
(All) Amen.

79
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,352
(Phone)

80
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:16,793
Oh, God.

81
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,233
- Hello?
- What are you wearing?

82
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,038
<i>You gave me the day off, boss.</i>

83
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,190
Oh, come on. Indulge a pervert.

84
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,598
Black dress, black shoes, black everything.

85
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,070
- I bet you look better in red.
- Not appropriate for faking grief.

86
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,878
Don't know what that means. Don't care.

87
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,713
- <i>I bought you a gift.</i>
- No, you should take it back.

88
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,870
<i>Don't you want to know what it is?</i>

89
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,757
It's my day off.

90
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,430
When are we gonna have sex again?

91
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,114
When I'm feeling desperate again.

92
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,918
<i>And when do you think that might be?</i>

93
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:34,993
(Doorbell)

94
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,115
(Buzzer)

95
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,313
You get lost on your way to Forest Lawn?

96
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,998
Never knew the man.

97
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:53,718
- Is Conrad around?
- Do you see Conrad?

98
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,991
How about one time, just for laughs,
I'll ask you a question,

99
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,799
and you maybe answer me,
you know, like a human?

100
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:06,077
What can I say?
You bring out the "fuck you" in me.

101
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:10,555
Fine. Moving on.
Bringing good news. You're free.

102
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,029
Abe Lincoln beat you to it.
What else you got?

103
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:16,396
I took care of your debt.
You don't owe Marvin anything.

104
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:20,155
You're gonna have trouble moving your shit
on the streets, but you still have me.

105
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:24,756
I have a new territory opening up
three times the size of Agrestic, so...

106
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,918
You're welcome.

107
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,638
No thanks necessary, since I assume

108
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,872
none are coming.

109
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,069
- What's that?
- I'm making a buy.

110
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,628
Little Miss Nancy Do-good.

111
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:44,508
Burying her boyfriend
and back to dealing dime bags.

112
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,390
All things in their proper place.

113
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,835
Yeah, praise Jesus, blah, blah, blah.

114
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,751
Oh, am I boring you?

115
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:55,071
Well, I will stop wasting your precious time.

116
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,513
We're a bulk business now,

117
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,353
so you can take your little milk money
down to the corner.

118
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,671
- Can I talk to Conrad?
- He's over with the pot clubs.

119
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,519
Large customers with large money.

120
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:11,513
Now, you come back with five figures,
and we'll do business.

121
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:13,954
Hell,

122
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,275
I'll even throw in a fountain.

123
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,474
(Door opens)

124
00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:31,913
Oh, hey, Nance.

125
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,958
Doug, you're cooking in my kitchen.

126
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,112
- There's a reason for that?
- Andy's on set. I'm helping him out.

127
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,838
Oh, that's nice.

128
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:46,353
Oh, that's from the tall one.
Leif Garretty, Blue Lagoon-ish?

129
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,396
- Silas?
- Yeah. Said you were out of weed,

130
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,948
then he took off with a blonde.
Tiny tits, big cross?

131
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,393
- Tara.
- And your other one,

132
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,199
- big vocab, creepy eyes?
- Shane.

133
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,555
He's outside with what's-her-name.

134
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,198
- Celia's dyke.
- Isabelle.

135
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,113
- Hey, Mrs. Botwin.
- Hello, Isabelle, Shane.

136
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,839
- An unlikely duo.
- We've bonded through sin.

137
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,069
And school suspension.

138
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,754
- As in...
- Don't come back until you love Jesus.

139
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:15,116
- They call it reflection.
- And we got three days of it.

140
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,032
And how are we going to reflect?

141
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,712
Wii tournament.

142
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,598
Oh, my first pay check!

143
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:24,675
Ha!

144
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,433
My son's bringing in more money than I am.

145
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,748
Any chance I could borrow $10,000?

146
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,150
How fast can you turn it around?

147
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:47,199
Seriously? Turn it around in a month.
You got 10 grand?

148
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,636
(Sighs) If you could form a dummy corp.
And I form a dummy corp.

149
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:54,508
You find a supplier to accept the check,
I know an accountant/councilman

150
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,239
- with access to a civic investment portfolio...
- Can you do it?

151
00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,073
- Have before.
- Do it.

152
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,518
Make it $50,000.

153
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,958
"Aguatecture." What is that, a colonic spa?

154
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:12,272
- Shane, where's your karate contact sheet?
- Drawer by the coffee maker.

155
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,158
(Woman groaning)

156
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:28,272
All right, Lex, come on, baby.
Big finish. Big finish.

157
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,555
Let's show them how they do it
in Jersey, baby.

158
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,915
Oh, yes! Lovely, people.

159
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,991
- Cut! Cut!
- (Man) Is there any more?

160
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:38,277
Let's take a break.
Everybody, rinse out. We'll be back in 10.

161
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,636
Wow, Paul. Great scene.
You're really an artist.

162
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,359
Well, thanks.
We don't hear that enough in this business.

163
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,398
And that's a tragedy.
I mean, the genre's been hijacked

164
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:51,519
by amateurs, sure,
but when I see your attention to detail,

165
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,559
the framing, the risks you take,
it makes this viewer...

166
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:58,916
(Sighs) I guess you should know,
I've always wanted to...

167
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,037
Be in porn? Every caterer does.

168
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,755
Well, I think I could be great.

169
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,035
Look, I respect your ambition,

170
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,236
and I'd love to make it happen for you,

171
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:10,912
but I work with gods.

172
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,195
Jessica, she comes like a fountain.

173
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,157
Lex is packing a fucking Buick.

174
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,755
It's all about that something special
in this business.

175
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,519
What makes you special, Andy?

176
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,831
<i>(# Gwendolyn & The Goodtime Gang:</i>
<i>Sunny Day)</i>

177
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,150
Footfuckers, scene one. "A" camera, mark.

178
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,071
- (Paul) And action.
- (Doorbell)

179
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,388
Coming!

180
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,353
Hello.

181
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,797
I have a package for Mrs. Dowling.
Are you authorised to sign for it?

182
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:45,555
Your feet must be aching
from all the walking around that you do.

183
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,756
Well, it is a lot of walking.

184
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,752
Well, why don't you come inside
and take your shoes off?

185
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:56,073
(Paul) That's right. Use your something special,
kid. Show me what you got.

186
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,115
(Groaning)

187
00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,351
(Paul) Use that big toe! That's fucking great!

188
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:04,115
Footfuckers 2: Viva Las Vegas.
Scene one. "A" camera, mark.

189
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,553
(Paul) And action.

190
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,278
- (Doorbell)
- Coming!

191
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,637
Room service.

192
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,472
I ordered that about two hours ago.

193
00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:18,236
I'm sorry, ma'am. The elevator got stuck.
I had to climb all 43 floors to get here.

194
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,276
Well, your feet must be killing you.

195
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,477
(Paul) There's a huge market
for fetish videos in Eastern Europe.

196
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,676
You're gonna be a huge star in Belarus.

197
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,432
- I mean, huge!
- (Woman) Oh, yeah!

198
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,353
Good! Good! Get dirty, Andy! Get dirty!

199
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,396
(Doorbell)

200
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,670
I finish with the backyard, Mrs. Dowling.

201
00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:39,196
- (Paul) OK, OK, thrust, thrust!
- Oh, cramping, cramping!

202
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,236
- (Paul) Cut!
- (Woman) Ow, ow, ow!

203
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,516
(Phone)

204
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,557
Well, if it isn't the Music Man of Majestic.

205
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,517
My partner in altruistic bullshit.

206
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,478
How are you this afternoon,
Councilwoman?

207
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:05,312
Smiling.

208
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,032
- You got my gift?
- Not why I'm smiling.

209
00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:10,678
<i>But, yes, I did.</i>

210
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:13,552
<i>Piece of advice.</i>

211
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:17,952
Never send a woman a dress
she might not fit into.

212
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,228
- Did you try it on?
- <i>It's a size 2.</i>

213
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,630
Flattering and annoying at the same time.

214
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,518
<i>I thought your breasts</i>
<i>would look good in red.</i>

215
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,398
Well, it's a nice thought.

216
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,994
Listen, I want to see you.

217
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,117
Wear whatever dress you want,
or no dress at all.

218
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,872
I'm almost divorced.

219
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,279
Mazel tov.

220
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,158
Would you like to help me celebrate?

221
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,351
You know where I live.

222
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,914
<i>I do. I do, indeed. See you, Councilwoman.</i>

223
00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,034
- (Shane) Sure you want to do this?
- (lsabelle) Yeah.

224
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,510
All right, hold it up to your mouth,
and I'll light it.

225
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,556
(Coughing)

226
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,115
- How is it?
- It's...

227
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,749
- It's kind of gross.
- Do you feel anything different?

228
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,354
I feel like I want to brush my teeth.

229
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,432
- Maybe it's bad shit.
- But my dad gets it from your mom.

230
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:26,953
You know my mom's a drug dealer?

231
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,431
I saw her come over once.

232
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,197
I didn't tell anyone.

233
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,192
I won't tell anyone.

234
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:38,468
Thanks.

235
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,515
- You gonna try it?
- Yeah.

236
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,752
This is that moment
where I finally become cool, right?

237
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,035
No. Just stoned.

238
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,674
(Coughing)

239
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,716
<i>(# Man Man: 10lb Moustache)</i>

240
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,997
(Slurping)

241
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,072
- (Sounds horn)
- Stop it, stop it!

242
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,788
Stop it!

243
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,316
(Horn still sounding)

244
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:40,869
(Door locking)

245
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,470
That's very funny, Tim. Open the door.

246
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:48,559
Open the fucking door! OK.

247
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:53,589
<i>♪ People say stay away from her</i>
<i>cos she's a sinking ship</i>

248
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,432
<i>♪ People say I'm wrong, that my brain... ♪

249
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,238
(Tim) No, look, please.

250
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,834
(Woman) You don't talk to me.
You can't talk to me.

251
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:07,835
<i>♪ I say feed the flames</i>
<i>and watch them run away</i>

252
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:15,717
<i>♪ Open up your chest for me... ♪

253
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,119
(Tim) That's my fault, too.

254
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:22,557
<i>♪ And I will build a house... ♪

255
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,110
(Woman) Tim! Jesus!

256
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,236
Oh, my God, are you OK?

257
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,515
- (Man) Your kid's not OK!
- I'm so sorry.

258
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,874
(Man) Get some help for him!

259
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,555
- Is it OK if I have one of your cigarettes?
- It's OK if you help your kid!

260
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:39,189
- I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry.
- Yeah, you say that all the time!

261
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,794
<i>♪ People say you're wild</i>

262
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:46,158
<i>♪ You've been christened a feral child</i>

263
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:49,073
<i>♪ You need pornography</i>

264
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,232
<i>♪ To help you sleep at night</i>

265
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,669
<i>♪ They said I wrestled around for years</i>

266
00:15:56,760 --> 00:16:00,116
<i>♪ With my own demise because</i>

267
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,873
<i>♪ You had twin violins</i>

268
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,838
<i>♪ Playing maladies through your eyes</i>

269
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:14,914
<i>♪ Peel apart your weathered scars</i>

270
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:20,468
<i>♪ And I will build a house</i>

271
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:29,238
<i>♪ And open up your chest for me</i>

272
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,710
<i>♪ And I will live there like a mouse... ♪

273
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,677
(Woman) No, hey, hey, I have the money.

274
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,115
I just went in to get a quarter. Hello?

275
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:41,589
You know what?
Fuck you, OK? Fuck you!

276
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,795
Thanks. That was my first boob.

277
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,119
How was it?

278
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,115
Good.

279
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,714
Do you want to touch my, you know...

280
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,276
Not really into penises.

281
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,195
- Why haven't we ever hung out before?
- I don't know.

282
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,597
My mom hates your mom?

283
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,797
I think my mom's secretly in love
with your mom.

284
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,836
I think my dad loved me
more than my mom does.

285
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,558
My mom's a bitch.

286
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,679
But I miss her.
I don't know why.

287
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,552
Do you feel stoned?

288
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,388
I guess.

289
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,317
- I don't see what the big deal is.
- Yeah.

290
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,958
I prefer beer.

291
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,036
I prefer touching your boob.

292
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,636
You want to make a buy?

293
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:42,194
I said, would you like to make a buy?

294
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,236
(Woman moaning)

295
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,835
All right, let's... Let's just cut.

296
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,273
- Cut!
- (Bell)

297
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,430
You did great, kid.
You really did. Come on up.

298
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:56,479
You got your foot in the door.
Or, in this case, your foot in Jessica.

299
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,916
- Hey, go get Lex.
- Wait, wait, wait. That's it?

300
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,797
Thanks for the foot, warm up the hot dogs?

301
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,440
- I've been working all day.
- What do you want, a medal?

302
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:08,274
It's a job.
And, yeah, go warm up the hot dogs.

303
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,238
Well, that's bullshit.

304
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,153
Hey, I'm talking to you, Paul St. Moritz!

305
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,472
I always stood up for pornography.

306
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,677
I believed in it.
I thought it provided an essential service.

307
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,751
Light up a young person's imagination,

308
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,752
help a sexless marriage,
keep a predator off the street!

309
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,389
I thought porn was magical.
Now, I see it for what it really is.

310
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,950
It's a flesh factory
and we are all slabs of meat.

311
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:37,909
Lex here is not
an unbelievably enormous dick.

312
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,956
And I'm not a foot.

313
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,237
- You're not a foot, Andy.
- Thanks, Lex. We're human beings.

314
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,436
I gave you my something special,
and you ate it.

315
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:50,640
You took something beautiful,
like Jessica's vagina,

316
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,393
and you made it just a place to put a foot.

317
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,192
You need to do some soul-searching,
my friend.

318
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,271
This whole industry does.

319
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:04,038
It exploits, it dehumanises,
it degrades men.

320
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,839
- Everybody back to one.
- Back to one!

321
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,753
<i>(Silas) This is from Nancy.</i>

322
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,799
- First time I ever took a cheque.
- She said she wants her fountain.

323
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:20,908
Conrad!

324
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,514
- And what's your name?
- Judah.

325
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,113
And this is...

326
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,639
- Sunshine.
- Is that right?

327
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,188
Well, Mr Judah, Ms Sunshine,

328
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,716
you tell the City of Agrestic we're impressed.

329
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,633
And you tell Nancy, if this cheque bounces,

330
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,033
- she better start running.
- I'll do that.

331
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:51,515
Stop.

332
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,750
- I want to, but I can't.
- Stop.

333
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,193
I have cancer. I had cancer.

334
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,752
They cut them off.

335
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,038
These are...

336
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,433
spare parts.

337
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,713
I don't care.

338
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:40,515
- No, I need to leave my top on.
- Celia Hodes,

339
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:45,956
you're a smart, ambitious, sexy woman.

340
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:47,872
I'm embarrassed.

341
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,590
I haven't gotten hard on my own for two years.

342
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,956
- I've been popping magical boner pills.
- Magical boner pills?

343
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,075
Yeah.

344
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,038
I took one in your driveway half an hour ago.

345
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,636
Do you like my penis any less?

346
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,717
No. No, I don't.

347
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,353
We're used.

348
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,989
It doesn't mean we can't be sexy.

349
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,470
Doesn't mean we can't,
pardon my language,

350
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:22,599
fuck like bunnies.

351
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,149
Cool.

352
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:57,076
If I still had feeling in my nipple,
I bet that would be amazing.

353
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,754
All right, enough. Listen to me.

354
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,391
<i>(Sullivan) I barely know you,</i>

355
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,198
<i>but the first time I saw you,</i>

356
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:08,068
<i>there was something about you</i>
<i>that was so familiar.</i>

357
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,151
<i>Familiar in the best way.</i>

358
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,554
<i>Like we shared something, like...</i>

359
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,153
<i>we had a secret.</i>

360
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:21,033
<i>I just want to know you. I don't know why.</i>

361
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,193
<i>I just do.</i>

362
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,592
<i>(Celia) OK. Stop talking.</i>

363
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,830
- Hello.
- Hi.

364
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:42,952
Mrs. Botwin.

365
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,430
- That's me.
- I'm Valerie.

366
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,636
You want to take a step up
to the x-ray machine?

367
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:48,869
OK.

368
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:53,829
You're the doctor?

369
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,037
Oh, no, doctor's at lunch.
I just take the x-rays.

370
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,554
- You can take out your breast.
- What?

371
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,758
Oh, right, right.

372
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,070
Mammogram's nothing to be nervous about.

373
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,232
- It'll be over in a minute.
- Right. Sorry.

374
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:11,035
I'm sorry.

375
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:14,032
Why are you apologising?
You've got great breasts.

376
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,509
- These?
- You should see some of the jugs we get.

377
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:17,635
Gravity's cruel.

378
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,836
All right, lift up your breast

379
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,195
and get as much of it
onto the plate as you can.

380
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,554
- Erm...
- All right?

381
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,790
Just get it all on there. Just spread it out.

382
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,440
- No. No.
- Just right on there.

383
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,830
Yeah, no, that's great. That's great.
OK, now you're gonna feel...

384
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:35,515
- Really?
...a little bit of pressure when I lower the top.

385
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,909
- And... smush.
- Aah...

386
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,310
OK, I know it's probably uncomfortable,
but I'm fast.

387
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,756
Do you like this job?

388
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:57,109
- Are you locked in?
- Oh, yeah. Ready to go.

389
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,673
I know who you are.

390
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:03,914
Excuse me?

391
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,911
I...

392
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,831
know...

393
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,990
who...

394
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:11,195
you...

395
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:12,508
are.

396
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,674
So, Nancy Botwin, why are you here?

397
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,471
And what do you want?

398
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,438
And why the fuck are you stalking me?

399
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,239
<i>(# Man Man: Engrish Bwudd)</i>

400
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,149
<i>♪ A seagull stole him</i>
<i>from his slow mamma's hands</i>

401
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,471
<i>♪ Aboard the boat the sweet Louisa</i>

402
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,199
<i>♪ And dropped him in the meadowlands where</i>

403
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,874
<i>♪ Wild hyenas</i>

404
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:52,110
<i>♪ Taught him how to hunt old elephants</i>

405
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,078
<i>♪ So he spent his formative years</i>

406
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,151
<i>♪ Eating out badunkadunk</i>

407
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,188
<i>♪ Fee fi fo fum</i>

408
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,874
<i>♪ I smell the blood of an Englishman</i>

409
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,916
<i>♪ Fee fi fo fum</i>

410
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,231
<i>♪ I smell the blood of an Englishman... ♪</i>