1
00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:07,636
Missed you at lunch today.
Did you slip out for a quickie with Prof. Hot Stuff?
2
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,638
Her name's Michelle
and how did you know?
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,401
There's a gold star on your fly.
4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:12,772
Ah!
Heh.
5
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:16,177
You weren't kidding. You know it's nice to
have a girlfriend with a sense of humor
6
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:17,907
and one who recognizes good work.
7
00:00:19,954 --> 00:00:22,047
See, that's G.
That's the most important chord.
8
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:24,349
In my mind, it...
It stands for God.
9
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,253
Why is Annie talking
to Micro-Nipples?
10
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,950
Vaughn? Whatever.
11
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:31,393
But not like a Bible God because
I think that God is in everything.
12
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:32,725
You're complicated.
13
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,291
♪ Annie ♪
14
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:37,527
♪ Annie, where you going today? ♪
15
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,205
Spanish class.
16
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:40,373
♪ Spanish ♪♪
17
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:41,871
You know what I don't get?
18
00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,374
He never wears a shirt.
He never wears shoes.
19
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:47,274
Why hasn't he died
from lack of service?
20
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,885
You watching another movie
in your dorm tonight?
21
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:54,782
Kickpuncher starring Don "The
Demon" Donaldson as a cyborg cop
22
00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:56,547
whose punches
have the power of kicks.
23
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:57,815
That sounds awful.
24
00:00:58,025 --> 00:00:59,959
I'll bring the popcorn.
Cool.
25
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,060
Uh... You... You watch bad movies
on purpose?
26
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:03,662
Yeah, we make fun of them.
Hmm.
27
00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:07,000
Shirley, don't embarrass yourself.
I'm sure they don't want to invite the housewife.
28
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,431
Actually, if she doesn't mind
reinforcing the stereotype,
29
00:01:09,637 --> 00:01:12,162
I bet Shirley would have fun talking
smack in a movie. Care to join us?
30
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:15,467
Usually when a movie's bad, I stop
watching, but this sounds college-y.
31
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,644
What time do you want us there?
32
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:22,275
Pierce, you don't wanna watch
a cyborg movie in Abed's dorm.
33
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:25,316
You wanna lay in your twin bed
and think about what you used to be.
34
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:29,250
What, you think I'm too old to make
monkeyshines at a picture show?
35
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:33,017
Come on, I'm younger
than the three of you put together.
36
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:36,952
Hey, Britta.
37
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:40,463
You know, everyone talks about his
nipples, but his feet freak me out.
38
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,101
Britta.
39
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:43,964
Hey.
Hey.
40
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,969
Can I ask you something?
About Vaughn?
41
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:50,371
Oh, yes, I still don't know
if that's his first or last name.
44
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:59,280
He has a sincerity
I found attractive in a simpler time.
45
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:04,479
Would you...? Um, I haven't...
46
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,853
We haven't... Anything.
47
00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:09,359
I mean...
Wow, you and Vaughn?
48
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:10,791
Would it bug you?
49
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,829
Well, what about you and Troy?
Troy?
50
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,866
The other day after Spanish, I thought
he was trying to hold my hand
51
00:02:18,072 --> 00:02:20,165
but he had just mistaken me
for Abed. Heh.
52
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,274
He'll never think of me that way.
53
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:26,037
Well, Annie, I would have to be a
villain to tell you who to date.
54
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:27,713
Which I am not.
55
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:30,247
Britta, thank you.
56
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,214
You're the coolest girl I've ever met.
57
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,080
Damn right, give me some fivesies.
58
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,983
Heh.
Whoo.
59
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:39,286
Turning it into a snake.
60
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,724
Oh, cool.
61
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,635
Hey, how's it going? Did you hear?
62
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:02,179
It's cute, Annie and Vaughn.
Get to the cute part.
63
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:04,408
She's into him.
She asked for my blessing.
64
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,712
And you gave it?
Yeah, I'm done with him.
65
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,048
Look, this isn't about you,
you groovy hipster.
66
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:11,281
It's about Annie.
67
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:14,586
We're like her Greendale parents,
you gotta say no to that stuff.
68
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,057
He's not that bad.
69
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:18,561
Yeah, not if you're 28
and you're fooling around with him.
70
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:21,758
She's 18. Her taste in men
is still being established.
71
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:25,598
Creepier and creepier dudes
will start thinking of her as an option.
72
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:28,934
And it all starts with Vaughn.
He's a gateway douche bag.
73
00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:32,271
People collide, things happen.
It can't be controlled, right?
74
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:36,279
And that can be your toast at her
shotgun wedding to Star-Burns.
75
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:40,385
Oh, yeah, turn to your left.
Oh, now turn to your right.
76
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:44,216
Yes, we can see both of them.
It's like a constellation on your face.
77
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,958
Hey.
Oh, what's up, dude? Yeah.
78
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:51,227
That guy over there?
He's a douche bag.
79
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,333
Hey, guys.
80
00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,730
I hope you don't mind I invited
Señor Chang, we're Netflix friends.
81
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:59,963
Oh, that's cool you're hanging out,
drinking beers with your students.
82
00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:03,302
Yeah, clearly none of my other plans
fell through.
83
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,239
Let's get to the movie.
84
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:06,913
Wait... Oh, I'm sorry, Shirley.
85
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,608
I'll wait
if you wanna serve beverages.
86
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:11,614
You're going to be waiting
a long ass time.
87
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:17,421
Oh, FBI warning, I'm so scared.
88
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,026
Hey, that's not fair.
I didn't know we started.
89
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,321
It is the year 2006 A.D.
90
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,498
And nuclear war
has ravaged the planet.
91
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:28,725
I must have missed that.
Nice.
92
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,733
- between cities
is a free-fire zone,
93
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,532
ruled by scavengers,
drug dealers and terrorists.
94
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,401
Sounds like a Thanksgiving
at my house.
95
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,334
Troy, you're crazy, man.
Yeah, I know.
96
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:40,410
They just come to me.
97
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,310
You want to buy some megadope?
It gets you mega high.
98
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,506
Will it get me through this movie?
99
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,016
There she goes.
Shirley's in the house.
100
00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:50,713
Freeze, police.
101
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,825
Freeze police? Don't do that,
they'll get cold. Ha-ha-ha.
102
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,153
Kickpuncher.
103
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,034
You've done so much for our city.
104
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:05,831
Kickpuncher, is there anything
that we can give you?
105
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,506
Yeah, two hours of my life back.
106
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:08,834
Ha-ha-ha.
Oh!
107
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,943
Don't call me Kickpuncher.
108
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,204
Call me David.
109
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:17,312
"Directed by Kim Yang."
110
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:20,248
Asian, can't direct, can't drive.
111
00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:23,416
Dude, I'm right here.
112
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,352
Right there.
113
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:30,861
So. Clearly we're all a bunch of funny people.
When are we doing this again?
114
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,225
Well, actually, tomorrow we...
No.
115
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,594
We were all gonna get...
I wouldn't.
116
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:37,167
Right?
117
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,928
Tomorrow night, we're all
gonna get together and watch
118
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,073
Kickpuncher 2:
Codename Punchkicker.
119
00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:42,435
Well, I was warming up tonight.
120
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:45,737
Tomorrow you better foam the runways
because I'm bringing my A game.
121
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,680
Awesome.
122
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:51,214
All right, so check it. It's just like
surfing without water. All right, your turn.
123
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:53,045
Get up there, come on.
Heh-heh. I'm...
124
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,242
♪ Annie's gonna ride ♪
125
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:55,443
Oh, my God.
126
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:56,714
♪ Annie's gonna ride the wave ♪
127
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:58,721
He's got her in some kind
of hippie collar.
128
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,325
I can hear her armpit hair
growing from here.
129
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,121
We've got to do something.
130
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:07,027
Okay, even if I agreed with you,
what are we gonna do?
131
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,065
Let's just center ourselves.
There it is.
132
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:12,170
We say we disapprove, we'll just drive her
further into his hemp-braceleted arms.
133
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,397
We need to be smart,
to need to hatch a scheme.
134
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:16,439
Hmm. Hatching schemes
is not really my wheelhouse.
135
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,167
Let's not confine ourselves
to your wheelhouse.
136
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,039
This problem won't respond
to tap dancing
137
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:22,408
or casual revelations that
you spent time in New York.
138
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,880
Okay, if you're gonna get Upper East
Side about this, I think we're done.
139
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,848
Hey, Winger, check out Annie.
140
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,818
Somebody just went to the top
of my to-do list.
141
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,962
Okay, we need to hatch a scheme.
Thank you.
142
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,830
It's all very simple.
143
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:43,992
In Annie's world, long before
Vaughn, she only had eyes for Troy.
144
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,365
So if Troy becomes a real option,
145
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,098
Annie will drop Vaughn
in a hippie's heartbeat.
146
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,606
Crash course in manipulation.
147
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,336
You don't actually tell the person
what you want them to do.
148
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,845
You help them realize
they want to do it
149
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:58,313
so it can't be traced back to you.
150
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:00,876
Hmm. Got it.
151
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:06,424
Chemistry, sexy.
152
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,095
You know what else is sexy?
Annie.
153
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:13,158
I know Chemistry is sexy,
but Annie? I don't see it.
154
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,257
Well, every other guy
on campus does.
155
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,198
You really don't see
how pretty Annie is?
156
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:20,498
Maybe it's because I knew her back in
high school before she dropped out.
157
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:22,868
She had braces and acne
and a pill addiction.
158
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,566
A nervous breakdown
ending with her running
159
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,109
through a plate glass door
screaming:
160
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,780
"Everyone's a robot."
161
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,080
I see what's happening here.
162
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,444
Troy, I want you to clear your head.
Done.
163
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:35,053
I'm gonna describe to you
a complete stranger
164
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:38,019
who happens who happens to be
in our study group.
165
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,125
Would you excuse us
for a moment?
166
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,894
Annie?
167
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,865
No kidding?
168
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,536
Come on,
you gotta be exaggerating.
169
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,504
Oh, man.
170
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:55,675
Ahem.
And she's Jewish?
171
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,003
I can't believe I didn't see that.
172
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,236
Well, I guess she deserves
another shot.
173
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:03,314
Oh, wait. Never mind, it's too late, I
heard she's hooking up with Vaughn.
174
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,314
Only to make you jealous.
What?
175
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:08,682
She's helplessly in love with you, she's
only with Vaughn to get your attention.
176
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:11,153
And you have to give it to her now,
right, Jeff?
177
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:12,751
Sure.
178
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:17,163
But the point is
we're not telling you what to do.
179
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,992
Oh, yeah,
you didn't hear it from us.
180
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,432
Boo-ya.
181
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,671
I have the weirdest boner.
182
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,976
I saw you die.
183
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,012
How can you be alive?
184
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:39,549
I guess it's just a bad day
for drug-dealing terrorists.
185
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:43,450
And a good day for Kickpuncher.
186
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,318
All right, guys, you hear that pause
187
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,891
after he says, "And a good day, ?"
What do you got for me there?
188
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:50,825
A good day
for a nutritious breakfast.
189
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:55,231
I don't get it.
It's a good day for a terrible movie.
190
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,301
A good day for hair products?
191
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:01,167
Oh, Buzz, how many times can you
keep going to go to that well?
192
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,968
Come on, guys, I'm starting
to wonder if you deserve
193
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,702
to call yourselves a community
college sketch comedy troupe.
194
00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:10,815
I told you, on movie night I need to
blow these punks out of the water.
195
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:12,780
I need Phyllis Diller-grade stuff.
196
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:16,478
Wouldn't you rather just watch a movie
with your friends and have a good time?
197
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,487
What are you,
my third wife's therapist?
198
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:22,560
What if he said, "It's a good day for,"
And you said, "For being gay?"
199
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,831
You are a genius.
200
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:32,504
He likes gay jokes.
201
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:35,072
What?
I said we write great jokes.
202
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,572
Don't flatter yourselves.
203
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:41,612
Whoa.
204
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:53,822
Hey, Annie, it's me, Troy.
205
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,791
Oh, I don't know where Abed is.
I can try calling him if you want.
206
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,591
No, I'm not looking
for my other half.
207
00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:03,693
I'm looking for you, girl.
208
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,301
Oh.
209
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:10,105
Yeah, let that sink in
for a second.
210
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,139
Mm.
211
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:17,844
You know, I never noticed
how beautiful you are.
212
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,518
Troy, you're being weird.
213
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:22,483
Sorry it took me so long.
They made me find a s-shirt.
214
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,589
Vaughn, you remember Troy.
215
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,658
Um, we went to high school together
and he's in my study group.
216
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,624
Hey, what's up, man? Hi, bro.
Heh.
217
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,388
I'm not your bro, bro.
218
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,760
Oh, well, actually,
everyone is my bro
219
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,664
in the whole entire universe
because everything is connected.
220
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,863
Rocks, eagles, hats.
221
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,099
Yeah, but some things
are more connected than others
222
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:46,336
like tarantulas
and me peeing my pants.
223
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:48,343
Or me and Annie.
What, wait.
224
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:49,537
Troy? What?
225
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:52,377
Tell him. Tell him that you've been
in love with me since high school.
226
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,410
What?
227
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:55,986
Wait a minute,
is that true, Mountain Flower?
228
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:58,054
No.
229
00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,816
I mean... Ugh.
230
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:01,550
I never wanna lie to you.
231
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:05,561
So I will tell you, I did have feelings
for him but it's over, I swear.
232
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:08,825
You swear? Like Britta swore
that she didn't like Jeff.
233
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:12,061
Then gave him a copy of my poem so he could
laugh at me with that Sherri Shepherd lady?
234
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,207
It's happening again.
235
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,400
Your study group is evil.
236
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,541
And you don't deserve ice cream.
237
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,912
Well, he's a baby.
Now, where were we?
238
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,689
Ugh! I like him.
Why would you do that?
239
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:36,692
Come on, everybody knows you want
a cut of the T-Bone steak.
240
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:39,764
Ugh.
Jeff and Britta told me how you feel.
241
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,093
Wait. Jeff and Britta did what now?
242
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:45,396
Oh, you're even hotter
when you're angry.
243
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,334
Let's do this.
244
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,306
Red Shoe Diaries.
245
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:53,104
I think you know I have a thing
for butt stuff.
246
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:57,306
To Annie's inevitable breakup
with Grodie J. McConaughey.
247
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:58,916
And to her and Troy.
248
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:01,451
We did the right thing.
They belong together.
249
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:05,352
Plus, their babies will be so cute.
250
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,849
Why would you say that?
Come on.
251
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:11,053
You know that babies are extra cute
when the parents are...
252
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:13,729
Both cute?
253
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,634
Do you want kids?
We'll see.
254
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:21,602
Put on something nice
and find me after lunch.
255
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,036
Hey, guys. Thanks for getting
involved in my love life.
256
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,940
That was super cool and mature
of you.
257
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:28,512
Oh, and since
you're both clearly idiots,
258
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:31,650
I should probably let you know
that I'm being sarcastic.
259
00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:36,287
Hey, guys, thanks for taking ugly
Annie out of the palm of my hand.
260
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:39,481
And turning her into yet another
hottie that will never get with me.
261
00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:45,129
Hey, guys, thanks for eating
all the macaroni.
262
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:48,824
Shut up, Leonard, nobody even
knows what you're talking about.
263
00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:53,528
I did eat all the macaroni.
It's messed up that he knows.
264
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,442
Let's light this candle.
265
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,373
Who's ready
for some Kickpunching?
266
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:02,980
Actually, we decided to watch Runaway instead.
Tom Selleck fights mechanical spiders.
267
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,878
What? No, no, you can't do that.
268
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:07,713
We just watched Kickpuncher,
we have to see Kickpuncher 2.
269
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,183
I have so many
unanswered questions.
270
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,790
No, I wanna watch Tom Selleck
fight mechanical spiders.
271
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,460
Yes.
Yeah.
272
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:17,255
My brother died on the set
of that movie.
273
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:23,866
One of the mechanical spiders just
went haywire and tore him to pieces.
274
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:26,470
And Tom Selleck just stood there.
275
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:29,335
He just stood there
and watched him die.
276
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:32,170
Okay, then,
let's watch your Kickpuncher 2 then.
277
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,368
Yeah. Okay.
278
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:36,140
Sorry for your loss.
Yeah. That's messed up, dude.
279
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,173
Kickpuncher 2.
280
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:41,718
My punches were only
as strong as my punches.
281
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,219
And then things changed.
282
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:47,154
Change?
Time to change the channel.
283
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,590
This guy's gonna be begging for change
if he keeps making movies this bad.
284
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:52,264
Heh-heh-heh. They should change
this movie to something good.
285
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:55,559
This movie stinks,
we better change its diaper. Heh.
286
00:13:55,769 --> 00:13:57,327
That's change we can believe in.
287
00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,602
Okay, obviously something strange
is happening here.
288
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:02,070
What do you mean?
I'm making jokes during a movie.
289
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,766
Yeah, but you're doing it
with the speed and determination
290
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,138
of the incomparable
Robin Williams.
291
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,780
Yeah.
Maybe I'm just that brilliant.
292
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,609
I think you came prepared.
293
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,978
Dude, even I know you're lame.
294
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,019
And I'm a tenured professor
sitting in a beanbag chair.
295
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,349
You're not a professor.
Shut up, man.
296
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:21,459
Fine, you got me.
297
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,356
I did a little advanced work.
298
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,428
Pathetic? No.
I'll tell you what's pathetic.
299
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:28,123
You all sitting here making fun
of other people's work.
300
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:29,460
You don't feel good about
yourselves
301
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:31,261
so you have to tear down
everything around you.
302
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,632
What's the matter?
Mama Chang didn't breastfeed?
303
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,535
She read in a book that
it wouldn't make a difference.
304
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:36,867
You all sicken me.
305
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:40,103
And I will no longer participate in
your destructive, negative behavior.
306
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,803
Pierce, that was deep.
307
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:44,745
And total BS.
Yeah, this isn't about us.
308
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:47,078
This is a deflection because
you can't get a genuine laugh.
309
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,380
Mm-hm.
That, in itself, is a laugh.
310
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,181
I know I'm funny
and I don't need
311
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,451
any of you people to validate me.
Hmm.
312
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:57,255
Oh! Oh!
313
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,965
Oh, I'm sorry.
314
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,432
Biggest laugh of the night.
315
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,072
Yes, it was.
Totally.
316
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,276
Then I was going to say,
"It's a good day to be gay."
317
00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:14,369
Annie.
318
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:17,347
We're sorry, we were worried
about your well-being.
319
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,711
I guess we feel
like we're sort of all a family.
320
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,252
And Jeff and I are like
your Greendale parents.
321
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:26,857
You're not my mom, Britta.
She would never wear boots that go up that high.
322
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:30,120
And what about respecting me
as an adult and as a friend?
323
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:33,623
Huh. You want to be treated
as an adult and a friend?
324
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:36,199
Try not dating your friend's ex-boyfriend.
Find your man.
325
00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:37,869
Oh, my.
Oh, boy.
326
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,129
But you don't like Vaughn.
327
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:43,776
No, I don't, but I also don't like
seeing him with anyone else. Ta-da!
328
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:46,172
I asked you if you cared
and you said no.
329
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:50,281
Fine. I cared. I'm a girly girl. I like boys.
I don't like it when they're mean to me.
330
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:53,941
I don't like it when they stop kissing me and
start kissing my friends. I'm not that cool.
331
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,714
I'm not Juno, okay, homeslice?
332
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,789
This is what it was about for you?
You were jealous?
333
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,393
Oh, please, you can't tell me
that you weren't jealous
334
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:06,122
that Vaughn had his hands all over
your debatelmake-out partner.
335
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,960
What are you insinuating?
I took that kiss for the team.
336
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,959
What?
337
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:14,163
Yeah. That kiss wasn't for pleasure.
It was strategic and joyless.
338
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:17,138
What? Yeah.
339
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:20,642
You did get weirdly specific when
you were describing Annie's body.
340
00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:24,515
More specific than the stuff
you told me about Britta?
341
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:25,877
What?
342
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:28,679
Does anyone get specific about me?
Check your e-mail.
343
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,123
I marked you as spam.
Who the hell is Pam?
344
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,348
When you guys first came in,
345
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,686
we were as wholesome and healthy as
the family in Brady Bunch.
346
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:38,261
And now we're as dysfunctional and incestuous
as the cast of The Brady Bunch.
347
00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:40,329
I agree with Abed,
this is getting creepy.
348
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,467
No more creepy than
when Jeff wears tight jeans
349
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,069
and you say, "I'd like to slap
those buns on the grill."
350
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,102
What?
First, I don't talk like that.
351
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,296
Second of all, where I'm from,
352
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,738
it's perfectly normal for women to talk
about their male friends' backsides.
353
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:54,038
You don't see me saying anything crazy about,
uh, Abed and Troy's weird, little relationship.
354
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,441
They're just jealous.
355
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:58,981
All right. All right, maybe we're not a
family. Maybe it's more complicated.
356
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,676
Because unlike a real family,
357
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:05,415
there's nothing to stop any one of us
from looking at any of the others
358
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:08,458
as a sexual prospect.
359
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,418
Why are we even talking
about this?
360
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,117
Because you started having sex
with Britta's ex-boyfriend.
361
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,818
What? We haven't even kissed.
362
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,895
That doesn't mean
you're not having sex.
363
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,994
Vaughn told me he would take things
as slowly as I wanted.
364
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,568
He likes me for who I am
and I like him.
365
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,335
You guys hear that?
366
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,581
Annie.
Vaughn.
367
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,651
Britta.
Hi.
368
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,188
Old man river.
Eat me.
369
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,418
Did you get my messages?
No.
370
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,560
I threw my phone into the river.
371
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,859
I thought that, "You know, if I can't
be with her, who am I gonna call?"
372
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:26,937
And then I thought, you know, well,
my landlord and my sister and you.
373
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,333
Anyway, I've been doing
a lot of soul searching,
374
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:34,012
and this is something
I really need to say.
375
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:40,080
♪ I see you when you smile
And I want to sing a song ♪
376
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:45,223
♪ But then I write the words
And they always come out wrong ♪
377
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:48,258
♪ They come out wrong ♪
378
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:53,128
♪ I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes ♪
379
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:57,793
♪ But then the words get frozen
In my mouth like Eskimos ♪
380
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:01,168
♪ I like your nose ♪
381
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:08,175
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
382
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:15,811
♪ Annie Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
383
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,991
♪ Annie's song ♪♪
384
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:25,454
His songs are dumber than he is.
385
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,257
Yeah, but they're honest.
386
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,094
I'll be right here.
387
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:37,541
Vaughn wants to show me a cloud
that looks like a pumpkin. Heh.
388
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,735
If that's okay.
389
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:43,738
Annie, it's more than okay.
Please date Vaughn.
390
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,385
Or anyone else
outside this creepy circle.
391
00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:50,616
I wouldn't hang out with you guys
if you were creepy.
392
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:53,724
Trust me, I have good taste.
393
00:19:57,463 --> 00:19:58,760
Oh, you smell like boysenberries.
394
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:03,461
So just to be clear,
I don't have a shot with any of you?
395
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:06,001
Ugh.
Oh, my God.
396
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,713
I'm dizzy.
397
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:23,955
I am Kickpuncher.
398
00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:27,923
My cyber punches
have the power of kicks. Mm, mm.
399
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,628
I am Punchkicker, meet your match.
400
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:56,854
I love you, Kickpuncher.
401
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,650
The only thing
beyond the reach of my fists
402
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,953
is humanity.
Mm-mm.
403
00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:05,756
You sure
Britta couldn't do your part?
404
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:08,058
Yeah, I asked
her, she wasn't available.
405
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,791
Let's go film the sex scene.