1
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:04,961
[###]
2
00:00:05,171 --> 00:00:08,436
Missed you at lunch today.
Did you slip out for a quickie with Prof. Hot Stuff?
3
00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:10,438
Her name's Michelle
and how did you know?
4
00:00:10,643 --> 00:00:12,201
There's a gold star on your fly.
5
00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:13,572
Ah!
Heh.
6
00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:16,977
You weren't kidding. You know it's nice to
have a girlfriend with a sense of humor
7
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,707
and one who recognizes good work.
8
00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:20,545
[MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
9
00:00:20,754 --> 00:00:22,847
See, that's G.
That's the most important chord.
10
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:25,149
In my mind, it...
It stands for God.
11
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,053
Why is Annie talking
to Micro-Nipples?
12
00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:28,750
Vaughn? Whatever.
13
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:32,193
But not like a Bible God because
I think that God is in everything.
14
00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:33,525
You're complicated.
15
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:35,091
♪ Annie ♪
16
00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:38,327
♪ Annie, where you going today? ♪
17
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:40,005
Spanish class.
18
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:41,173
♪ Spanish ♪♪
19
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,671
You know what I don't get?
20
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,174
He never wears a shirt.
He never wears shoes.
21
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:48,074
Why hasn't he died
from lack of service?
22
00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:50,511
[###]
23
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,685
You watching another movie
in your dorm tonight?
24
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,582
Kickpuncher starring Don "The
Demon" Donaldson as a cyborg cop
25
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,347
whose punches
have the power of kicks.
26
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:58,615
That sounds awful.
27
00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,759
I'll bring the popcorn.
Cool.
28
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,860
Uh... You... You watch bad movies
on purpose?
29
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,462
Yeah, we make fun of them.
Hmm.
30
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:07,800
Shirley, don't embarrass yourself.
I'm sure they don't want to invite the housewife.
31
00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:10,231
Actually, if she doesn't mind
reinforcing the stereotype,
32
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,962
I bet Shirley would have fun talking
smack in a movie. Care to join us?
33
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:16,267
Usually when a movie's bad, I stop
watching, but this sounds college-y.
34
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:18,444
What time do you want us there?
35
00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:23,075
Pierce, you don't wanna watch
a cyborg movie in Abed's dorm.
36
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:26,116
You wanna lay in your twin bed
and think about what you used to be.
37
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:30,050
What, you think I'm too old to make
monkeyshines at a picture show?
38
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:33,817
Come on, I'm younger
than the three of you put together.
39
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:36,217
[###]
40
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:37,752
Hey, Britta.
41
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:41,263
You know, everyone talks about his
nipples, but his feet freak me out.
42
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:42,901
Britta.
43
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,764
Hey.
Hey.
44
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:47,769
Can I ask you something?
About Vaughn?
45
00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:51,171
Oh, yes, I still don't know
if that's his first or last name.
46
00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:53,979
Uh, heh. He's sweet, actually.
47
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,670
I mean, you must have thought so.
48
00:01:55,882 --> 00:02:00,080
He has a sincerity
I found attractive in a simpler time.
49
00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:05,279
Would you...? Um, I haven't...
50
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:07,653
We haven't... Anything.
51
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:10,159
I mean...
Wow, you and Vaughn?
52
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:11,591
Would it bug you?
53
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,629
Well, what about you and Troy?
Troy?
54
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:18,666
The other day after Spanish, I thought
he was trying to hold my hand
55
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,965
but he had just mistaken me
for Abed. Heh.
56
00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:23,074
He'll never think of me that way.
57
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:26,837
Well, Annie, I would have to be a
villain to tell you who to date.
58
00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:28,513
Which I am not.
59
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,047
Britta, thank you.
60
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,014
You're the coolest girl I've ever met.
61
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:34,880
Damn right, give me some fivesies.
62
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,783
Heh.
Whoo.
63
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,086
Turning it into a snake.
64
00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:42,524
Oh, cool.
65
00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:46,665
[THE 88'S "AT LEAST
IT WAS HERE" PLAYING]
66
00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:59,435
Hey, how's it going? Did you hear?
67
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:02,979
It's cute, Annie and Vaughn.
Get to the cute part.
68
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,208
She's into him.
She asked for my blessing.
69
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,512
And you gave it?
Yeah, I'm done with him.
70
00:03:08,721 --> 00:03:10,848
Look, this isn't about you,
you groovy hipster.
71
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:12,081
It's about Annie.
72
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:15,386
We're like her Greendale parents,
you gotta say no to that stuff.
73
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:16,857
He's not that bad.
74
00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:19,361
Yeah, not if you're 28
and you're fooling around with him.
75
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:22,558
She's 18. Her taste in men
is still being established.
76
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:26,398
Creepier and creepier dudes
will start thinking of her as an option.
77
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:29,734
And it all starts with Vaughn.
He's a gateway douche bag.
78
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:33,071
People collide, things happen.
It can't be controlled, right?
79
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:37,079
And that can be your toast at her
shotgun wedding to Star-Burns.
80
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:41,185
Oh, yeah, turn to your left.
Oh, now turn to your right.
81
00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:45,016
Yes, we can see both of them.
It's like a constellation on your face.
82
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,758
Hey.
Oh, what's up, dude? Yeah.
83
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,027
That guy over there?
He's a douche bag.
84
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,133
Hey, guys.
85
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:57,530
I hope you don't mind I invited
Señor Chang, we're Netflix friends.
86
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:00,763
Oh, that's cool you're hanging out,
drinking beers with your students.
87
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:04,102
Yeah, clearly none of my other plans
fell through.
88
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,039
Let's get to the movie.
89
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,713
Wait... Oh, I'm sorry, Shirley.
90
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,408
I'll wait
if you wanna serve beverages.
91
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,414
You're going to be waiting
a long ass time.
92
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:13,881
[MUSIC PLAYS ON TV]
93
00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:18,221
Oh, FBI warning, I'm so scared.
94
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:19,721
[ALL LAUGH]
95
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,826
Hey, that's not fair.
I didn't know we started.
96
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,121
NARRATOR [ON TV]:
It is the year 2006 A.D.
97
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,298
And nuclear war
has ravaged the planet.
98
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:29,525
I must have missed that.
Nice.
99
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:31,533
- between cities
is a free-fire zone,
100
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:34,332
ruled by scavengers,
drug dealers and terrorists.
101
00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:36,201
Sounds like a Thanksgiving
at my house.
102
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:37,398
[ALL LAUGH]
103
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,134
Troy, you're crazy, man.
TROY: Yeah, I know.
104
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,210
They just come to me.
105
00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:44,110
You want to buy some megadope?
It gets you mega high.
106
00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:45,306
Will it get me through this movie?
107
00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:46,849
[LAUGHING]
108
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:48,816
TROY: There she goes.
ABED: Shirley's in the house.
109
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,513
Freeze, police.
110
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:54,625
Freeze police? Don't do that,
they'll get cold. Ha-ha-ha.
111
00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:55,953
MAN:
Kickpuncher.
112
00:04:56,162 --> 00:04:59,325
[MAN GRUNTS THEN SCREAMS]
113
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,834
WOMAN:
You've done so much for our city.
114
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:06,631
Kickpuncher, is there anything
that we can give you?
115
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,306
Yeah, two hours of my life back.
116
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:09,634
Ha-ha-ha.
Oh!
117
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:12,743
Don't call me Kickpuncher.
118
00:05:12,945 --> 00:05:15,004
Call me David.
119
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,112
PIERCE:
"Directed by Kim Yang."
120
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,048
Asian, can't direct, can't drive.
121
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:22,551
[LAUGHS]
122
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,216
Dude, I'm right here.
123
00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:26,152
Right there.
124
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:31,661
So. Clearly we're all a bunch of funny people.
When are we doing this again?
125
00:05:31,864 --> 00:05:34,025
Well, actually, tomorrow we...
No.
126
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,394
We were all gonna get...
CHANG: I wouldn't.
127
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:37,967
Right?
128
00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:39,728
Tomorrow night, we're all
gonna get together and watch
129
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,873
Kickpuncher 2:
Codename Punchkicker.
130
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,235
Well, I was warming up tonight.
131
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:46,537
Tomorrow you better foam the runways
because I'm bringing my A game.
132
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,480
Awesome.
133
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:52,014
All right, so check it. It's just like
surfing without water. All right, your turn.
134
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:53,845
Get up there, come on.
Heh-heh. I'm...
135
00:05:54,053 --> 00:05:55,042
♪ Annie's gonna ride ♪
136
00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:56,243
Oh, my God.
137
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:57,514
♪ Annie's gonna ride the wave ♪
138
00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:59,521
He's got her in some kind
of hippie collar.
139
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:03,125
I can hear her armpit hair
growing from here.
140
00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:04,921
We've got to do something.
141
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,827
Okay, even if I agreed with you,
what are we gonna do?
142
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,865
Let's just center ourselves.
There it is.
143
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:12,970
We say we disapprove, we'll just drive her
further into his hemp-braceleted arms.
144
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,197
We need to be smart,
to need to hatch a scheme.
145
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:17,239
Hmm. Hatching schemes
is not really my wheelhouse.
146
00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:18,967
Let's not confine ourselves
to your wheelhouse.
147
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:20,839
This problem won't respond
to tap dancing
148
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,208
or casual revelations that
you spent time in New York.
149
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,680
Okay, if you're gonna get Upper East
Side about this, I think we're done.
150
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,648
Hey, Winger, check out Annie.
151
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:30,618
Somebody just went to the top
of my to-do list.
152
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,791
[###]
153
00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:36,762
Okay, we need to hatch a scheme.
Thank you.
154
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:40,630
JEFF:
It's all very simple.
155
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:44,792
In Annie's world, long before
Vaughn, she only had eyes for Troy.
156
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:47,165
So if Troy becomes a real option,
157
00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:49,898
Annie will drop Vaughn
in a hippie's heartbeat.
158
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,406
Crash course in manipulation.
159
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:54,136
You don't actually tell the person
what you want them to do.
160
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,645
You help them realize
they want to do it
161
00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:59,113
so it can't be traced back to you.
162
00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:01,676
Hmm. Got it.
163
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:03,856
[###]
164
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:07,224
Chemistry, sexy.
165
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,895
You know what else is sexy?
Annie.
166
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,958
I know Chemistry is sexy,
but Annie? I don't see it.
167
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,057
Well, every other guy
on campus does.
168
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,998
You really don't see
how pretty Annie is?
169
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:21,298
Maybe it's because I knew her back in
high school before she dropped out.
170
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,668
She had braces and acne
and a pill addiction.
171
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,366
A nervous breakdown
ending with her running
172
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:26,909
through a plate glass door
screaming:
173
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,580
"Everyone's a robot."
174
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:30,880
I see what's happening here.
175
00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:33,244
Troy, I want you to clear your head.
Done.
176
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,853
I'm gonna describe to you
a complete stranger
177
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:38,819
who happens who happens to be
in our study group.
178
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:40,925
Would you excuse us
for a moment?
179
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:44,693
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
180
00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:46,694
[LAUGHS] Annie?
181
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,665
No kidding?
182
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:51,336
Come on,
you gotta be exaggerating.
183
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:53,304
[LAUGHS] Oh, man.
184
00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:56,475
Ahem.
And she's Jewish?
185
00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:58,803
I can't believe I didn't see that.
186
00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:01,036
Well, I guess she deserves
another shot.
187
00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:04,114
Oh, wait. Never mind, it's too late, I
heard she's hooking up with Vaughn.
188
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,114
Only to make you jealous.
BOTH: What?
189
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,482
She's helplessly in love with you, she's
only with Vaughn to get your attention.
190
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:11,953
And you have to give it to her now,
right, Jeff?
191
00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:13,551
Sure.
192
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:17,963
But the point is
we're not telling you what to do.
193
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,792
Oh, yeah,
you didn't hear it from us.
194
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,968
[###]
195
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,232
[WHISPERS]
Boo-ya.
196
00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:32,471
I have the weirdest boner.
197
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:34,776
VILLAIN [ON TV]:
I saw you die.
198
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,812
How can you be alive?
199
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:40,349
I guess it's just a bad day
for drug-dealing terrorists.
200
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:44,250
And a good day for Kickpuncher.
201
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,118
All right, guys, you hear that pause
202
00:08:46,325 --> 00:08:48,691
after he says, "And a good day, ?"
What do you got for me there?
203
00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:51,625
A good day
for a nutritious breakfast.
204
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:56,031
I don't get it.
It's a good day for a terrible movie.
205
00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:59,101
A good day for hair products?
206
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,967
Oh, Buzz, how many times can you
keep going to go to that well?
207
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,768
Come on, guys, I'm starting
to wonder if you deserve
208
00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:07,502
to call yourselves a community
college sketch comedy troupe.
209
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:11,615
I told you, on movie night I need to
blow these punks out of the water.
210
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:13,580
I need Phyllis Diller-grade stuff.
211
00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:17,278
Wouldn't you rather just watch a movie
with your friends and have a good time?
212
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,287
What are you,
my third wife's therapist?
213
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:23,360
What if he said, "It's a good day for,"
And you said, "For being gay?"
214
00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:28,927
[LAUGHS]
215
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:31,631
You are a genius.
216
00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:33,304
He likes gay jokes.
217
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,872
What?
I said we write great jokes.
218
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,372
Don't flatter yourselves.
219
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,908
[###]
220
00:09:41,013 --> 00:09:42,412
Whoa.
221
00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:54,622
Hey, Annie, it's me, Troy.
222
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:57,591
Oh, I don't know where Abed is.
I can try calling him if you want.
223
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:00,391
No, I'm not looking
for my other half.
224
00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:04,493
I'm looking for you, girl.
225
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,101
Oh.
226
00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:10,905
Yeah, let that sink in
for a second.
227
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:12,939
Mm.
228
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:18,644
You know, I never noticed
how beautiful you are.
229
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:20,318
Troy, you're being weird.
230
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:23,283
Sorry it took me so long.
They made me find a s-shirt.
231
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:25,389
Vaughn, you remember Troy.
232
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:28,458
Um, we went to high school together
and he's in my study group.
233
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:30,424
Hey, what's up, man? Hi, bro.
Heh.
234
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:33,188
I'm not your bro, bro.
235
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,560
Oh, well, actually,
everyone is my bro
236
00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:38,464
in the whole entire universe
because everything is connected.
237
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:41,663
Rocks, eagles, hats.
238
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:43,899
Yeah, but some things
are more connected than others
239
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:47,136
like tarantulas
and me peeing my pants.
240
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:49,143
Or me and Annie.
ANNIE: What, wait.
241
00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:50,337
Troy? What?
242
00:10:50,549 --> 00:10:53,177
Tell him. Tell him that you've been
in love with me since high school.
243
00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:55,210
What?
244
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:56,786
Wait a minute,
is that true, Mountain Flower?
245
00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,854
No.
246
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,616
I mean... Ugh.
247
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,350
I never wanna lie to you.
248
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:06,361
So I will tell you, I did have feelings
for him but it's over, I swear.
249
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:09,625
You swear? Like Britta swore
that she didn't like Jeff.
250
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,861
Then gave him a copy of my poem so he could
laugh at me with that Sherri Shepherd lady?
251
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:16,007
It's happening again.
252
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,200
Your study group is evil.
253
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,341
And you don't deserve ice cream.
254
00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:22,912
[GASPS]
255
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:27,019
[###]
256
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:31,712
Well, he's a baby.
Now, where were we?
257
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,489
Ugh! I like him.
Why would you do that?
258
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,492
Come on, everybody knows you want
a cut of the T-Bone steak.
259
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,564
Ugh.
Jeff and Britta told me how you feel.
260
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,893
Wait. Jeff and Britta did what now?
261
00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:46,196
Oh, you're even hotter
when you're angry.
262
00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:48,134
Let's do this.
263
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,106
Red Shoe Diaries.
264
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,904
I think you know I have a thing
for butt stuff.
265
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:58,106
To Annie's inevitable breakup
with Grodie J. McConaughey.
266
00:11:58,317 --> 00:11:59,716
And to her and Troy.
267
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:02,251
We did the right thing.
They belong together.
268
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:06,152
Plus, their babies will be so cute.
269
00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:08,649
Why would you say that?
Come on.
270
00:12:08,861 --> 00:12:11,853
You know that babies are extra cute
when the parents are...
271
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,529
Both cute?
272
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:19,434
Do you want kids?
We'll see.
273
00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:22,402
Put on something nice
and find me after lunch.
274
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,836
Hey, guys. Thanks for getting
involved in my love life.
275
00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:27,740
That was super cool and mature
of you.
276
00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:29,312
Oh, and since
you're both clearly idiots,
277
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:32,450
I should probably let you know
that I'm being sarcastic.
278
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:37,087
Hey, guys, thanks for taking ugly
Annie out of the palm of my hand.
279
00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:40,281
And turning her into yet another
hottie that will never get with me.
280
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:45,929
Hey, guys, thanks for eating
all the macaroni.
281
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:49,624
Shut up, Leonard, nobody even
knows what you're talking about.
282
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:54,328
I did eat all the macaroni.
It's messed up that he knows.
283
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,242
Let's light this candle.
284
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,173
Who's ready
for some Kickpunching?
285
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:03,780
Actually, we decided to watch Runaway instead.
Tom Selleck fights mechanical spiders.
286
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,678
What? No, no, you can't do that.
287
00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:08,513
We just watched Kickpuncher,
we have to see Kickpuncher 2.
288
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:09,983
I have so many
unanswered questions.
289
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:13,590
No, I wanna watch Tom Selleck
fight mechanical spiders.
290
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,260
Yes.
Yeah.
291
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:18,055
My brother died on the set
of that movie.
292
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:24,666
One of the mechanical spiders just
went haywire and tore him to pieces.
293
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:27,270
And Tom Selleck just stood there.
294
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,135
He just stood there
and watched him die.
295
00:13:30,342 --> 00:13:32,970
Okay, then,
let's watch your Kickpuncher 2 then.
296
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:34,168
ABED:
Yeah. Okay.
297
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,940
Sorry for your loss.
Yeah. That's messed up, dude.
298
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,741
[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
299
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:39,973
Kickpuncher 2.
300
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,518
KICKPUNCHER: My punches were only
as strong as my punches.
301
00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,019
And then things changed.
302
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:47,954
Change?
Time to change the channel.
303
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,390
This guy's gonna be begging for change
if he keeps making movies this bad.
304
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:53,064
Heh-heh-heh. They should change
this movie to something good.
305
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:56,359
This movie stinks,
we better change its diaper. Heh.
306
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:58,127
That's change we can believe in.
307
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,402
Okay, obviously something strange
is happening here.
308
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:02,870
What do you mean?
I'm making jokes during a movie.
309
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:05,566
Yeah, but you're doing it
with the speed and determination
310
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:06,938
of the incomparable
Robin Williams.
311
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,580
Yeah.
Maybe I'm just that brilliant.
312
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,409
I think you came prepared.
313
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:13,778
Dude, even I know you're lame.
314
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:16,819
And I'm a tenured professor
sitting in a beanbag chair.
315
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:19,149
You're not a professor.
Shut up, man.
316
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:22,259
Fine, you got me.
317
00:14:22,461 --> 00:14:24,156
I did a little advanced work.
318
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,228
Pathetic? No.
I'll tell you what's pathetic.
319
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:28,923
You all sitting here making fun
of other people's work.
320
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:30,260
You don't feel good about
yourselves
321
00:14:30,469 --> 00:14:32,061
so you have to tear down
everything around you.
322
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:34,432
What's the matter?
Mama Chang didn't breastfeed?
323
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,335
She read in a book that
it wouldn't make a difference.
324
00:14:36,575 --> 00:14:37,667
PIERCE:
You all sicken me.
325
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,903
And I will no longer participate in
your destructive, negative behavior.
326
00:14:41,113 --> 00:14:42,603
Pierce, that was deep.
327
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,545
And total BS.
Yeah, this isn't about us.
328
00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:47,878
This is a deflection because
you can't get a genuine laugh.
329
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:50,180
Mm-hm.
That, in itself, is a laugh.
330
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:51,981
I know I'm funny
and I don't need
331
00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:55,251
any of you people to validate me.
Hmm.
332
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:58,055
Oh! Oh!
333
00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:02,266
[ALL LAUGH]
334
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,765
Oh, I'm sorry.
335
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:06,232
Biggest laugh of the night.
336
00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:08,872
Yes, it was.
Totally.
337
00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:12,076
Then I was going to say,
"It's a good day to be gay."
338
00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:13,471
[GROUP LAUGHS]
339
00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:15,169
Annie.
340
00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:18,147
We're sorry, we were worried
about your well-being.
341
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,511
I guess we feel
like we're sort of all a family.
342
00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:24,052
And Jeff and I are like
your Greendale parents.
343
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:27,657
You're not my mom, Britta.
She would never wear boots that go up that high.
344
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:30,920
And what about respecting me
as an adult and as a friend?
345
00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:34,423
Huh. You want to be treated
as an adult and a friend?
346
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:36,999
Try not dating your friend's ex-boyfriend.
Find your man.
347
00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:38,669
Oh, my.
TROY: Oh, boy.
348
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:40,929
But you don't like Vaughn.
349
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:44,576
No, I don't, but I also don't like
seeing him with anyone else. Ta-da!
350
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,972
I asked you if you cared
and you said no.
351
00:15:47,179 --> 00:15:51,081
Fine. I cared. I'm a girly girl. I like boys.
I don't like it when they're mean to me.
352
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:54,741
I don't like it when they stop kissing me and
start kissing my friends. I'm not that cool.
353
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,514
I'm not Juno, okay, homeslice?
354
00:15:58,223 --> 00:16:00,589
This is what it was about for you?
You were jealous?
355
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,193
Oh, please, you can't tell me
that you weren't jealous
356
00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:06,922
that Vaughn had his hands all over
your debatelmake-out partner.
357
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,760
What are you insinuating?
I took that kiss for the team.
358
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:11,759
What?
359
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,963
Yeah. That kiss wasn't for pleasure.
It was strategic and joyless.
360
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:17,938
What? Yeah.
361
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:21,442
You did get weirdly specific when
you were describing Annie's body.
362
00:16:22,881 --> 00:16:25,315
More specific than the stuff
you told me about Britta?
363
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:26,677
ANNIE AND BRITTA:
What?
364
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:29,479
Does anyone get specific about me?
Check your e-mail.
365
00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:31,923
I marked you as spam.
Who the hell is Pam?
366
00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:33,148
When you guys first came in,
367
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:35,486
we were as wholesome and healthy as
the family in Brady Bunch.
368
00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:39,061
And now we're as dysfunctional and incestuous
as the cast of The Brady Bunch.
369
00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:41,129
I agree with Abed,
this is getting creepy.
370
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,267
No more creepy than
when Jeff wears tight jeans
371
00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:45,869
and you say, "I'd like to slap
those buns on the grill."
372
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:47,902
JEFF AND PIERCE: What?
SHIRLEY: First, I don't talk like that.
373
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:49,096
Second of all, where I'm from,
374
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,538
it's perfectly normal for women to talk
about their male friends' backsides.
375
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:54,838
You don't see me saying anything crazy about,
uh, Abed and Troy's weird, little relationship.
376
00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:56,241
[IN UNISON]
They're just jealous.
377
00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:59,781
All right. All right, maybe we're not a
family. Maybe it's more complicated.
378
00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:02,476
Because unlike a real family,
379
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:06,215
there's nothing to stop any one of us
from looking at any of the others
380
00:17:06,425 --> 00:17:09,258
as a sexual prospect.
381
00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:11,429
[###]
382
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:22,831
[BOTH GASP]
383
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,218
Why are we even talking
about this?
384
00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:42,917
Because you started having sex
with Britta's ex-boyfriend.
385
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,618
What? We haven't even kissed.
386
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,695
That doesn't mean
you're not having sex.
387
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,794
Vaughn told me he would take things
as slowly as I wanted.
388
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,368
He likes me for who I am
and I like him.
389
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,267
[GUITAR PLAYING & MAN SINGING
IN DISTANCE]
390
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:57,135
You guys hear that?
391
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:09,381
Annie.
Vaughn.
392
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,451
Britta.
Hi.
393
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:13,988
Old man river.
Eat me.
394
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,218
Did you get my messages?
No.
395
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,360
I threw my phone into the river.
396
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:22,659
I thought that, "You know, if I can't
be with her, who am I gonna call?"
397
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:27,737
And then I thought, you know, well,
my landlord and my sister and you.
398
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,133
Anyway, I've been doing
a lot of soul searching,
399
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:34,812
and this is something
I really need to say.
400
00:18:36,648 --> 00:18:40,880
♪ I see you when you smile
And I want to sing a song ♪
401
00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:46,023
♪ But then I write the words
And they always come out wrong ♪
402
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:49,058
♪ They come out wrong ♪
403
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:53,928
♪ I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes ♪
404
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:58,593
♪ But then the words get frozen
In my mouth like Eskimos ♪
405
00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:01,968
♪ I like your nose ♪
406
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:08,975
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
407
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:16,611
♪ Annie Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
408
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,791
♪ Annie's song ♪♪
409
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:22,249
[LAUGHS]
410
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,254
His songs are dumber than he is.
411
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:28,057
Yeah, but they're honest.
412
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:32,894
I'll be right here.
413
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:34,736
[LAUGHS]
414
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:38,341
Vaughn wants to show me a cloud
that looks like a pumpkin. Heh.
415
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,535
If that's okay.
416
00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:44,538
Annie, it's more than okay.
Please date Vaughn.
417
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,185
Or anyone else
outside this creepy circle.
418
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:51,416
I wouldn't hang out with you guys
if you were creepy.
419
00:19:51,623 --> 00:19:54,524
Trust me, I have good taste.
420
00:19:54,793 --> 00:19:55,919
[###]
421
00:19:58,263 --> 00:19:59,560
Oh, you smell like boysenberries.
422
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,261
So just to be clear,
I don't have a shot with any of you?
423
00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:06,801
Ugh.
Oh, my God.
424
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:17,614
[ANNIE LAUGHS]
425
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:20,513
VAUGHN:
I'm dizzy.
426
00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:23,115
[MACHINE WHIRRING]
427
00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:24,755
[IN ROBOT VOICE]
I am Kickpuncher.
428
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:28,723
My cyber punches
have the power of kicks. Mm, mm.
429
00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:30,984
[GRUNTING]
430
00:20:36,868 --> 00:20:39,428
I am Punchkicker, meet your match.
431
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:57,654
[IN WOMAN'S VOICE]
I love you, Kickpuncher.
432
00:20:57,856 --> 00:21:00,450
The only thing
beyond the reach of my fists
433
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:03,753
is humanity.
Mm-mm.
434
00:21:03,962 --> 00:21:06,556
[IN NORMAL VOICE] You sure
Britta couldn't do your part?
435
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,858
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Yeah, I asked
her, she wasn't available.
436
00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:10,591
Let's go film the sex scene.