1
00:00:02,220 --> 00:00:03,887
Man over p.A.: It's valentine's week,
2
00:00:03,955 --> 00:00:08,141
When the greendale human
being is the cupid being,
3
00:00:08,226 --> 00:00:11,461
Delivering your gift to
that special someone.
4
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:15,065
But remember, cupid's face
is magic marker on nylon,
5
00:00:15,132 --> 00:00:16,833
So love is not only blind
6
00:00:16,901 --> 00:00:19,403
But also dizzy and a little belligerent.
7
00:00:19,470 --> 00:00:21,989
I'm chaperoning tomorrow's dance.
8
00:00:22,073 --> 00:00:23,523
You should come.
9
00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:25,075
Maybe your study buds'll go.
10
00:00:25,142 --> 00:00:26,777
What's the blonde's name,
bitter, butter--beetlejuice?
11
00:00:26,844 --> 00:00:27,995
Oh, britta. Yeah.
12
00:00:28,079 --> 00:00:30,330
She says valentine's day
ritualizes a connection
13
00:00:30,415 --> 00:00:31,915
Between affection and candy
14
00:00:31,983 --> 00:00:34,251
So girls can learn the
ropes of prostitution.
15
00:00:34,318 --> 00:00:35,419
No date.
16
00:00:35,486 --> 00:00:37,537
I'm gonna join you at that dance.
17
00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,339
But as a novice boyfriend,
18
00:00:39,424 --> 00:00:40,707
Could I get a map of the minefield
19
00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:43,210
Known as women's valentine expectations?
20
00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:44,428
Every day of the year,
21
00:00:44,495 --> 00:00:46,513
I want you to do what makes you happy.
22
00:00:46,597 --> 00:00:48,999
Tomorrow I'm gonna be
happy spending the night
23
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,667
With an insatiable statistics professor.
24
00:00:56,441 --> 00:00:58,225
Jeff, it's the registrar's office.
25
00:00:58,309 --> 00:00:59,977
Seems you were wrong about paying tuition
26
00:01:00,028 --> 00:01:01,728
With airline miles.
27
00:01:01,813 --> 00:01:04,180
We're gonna need a check-
-female voice: Message deleted.
28
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:05,532
Britta, drunkenly: - Jeff winger.
29
00:01:05,616 --> 00:01:11,071
I am calling you.
30
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You're probably--whatever.
31
00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:17,077
so wassup?
32
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:19,079
Oh, it's the cupid being.
33
00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:20,363
Oh, ooh!
34
00:01:20,415 --> 00:01:22,966
Oh, now it has arrows. That's safe.
35
00:01:23,034 --> 00:01:25,052
Oh, it's from the cook with the long beard
36
00:01:25,136 --> 00:01:26,369
In the cafeteria.
37
00:01:26,421 --> 00:01:27,704
I guess when he said,
38
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,589
I'm gonna git you,
39
00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:30,924
uh, he meant chocolates.
40
00:01:31,009 --> 00:01:33,910
Oh! A flower from vaughn.
41
00:01:33,978 --> 00:01:36,713
He's away on a vision quest.
42
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,231
You got something, abed?
43
00:01:38,316 --> 00:01:40,484
Another muffin basket from another actress
44
00:01:40,551 --> 00:01:41,651
Who wants to be in my next film.
45
00:01:41,719 --> 00:01:42,953
- Does that work?
- Yep.
46
00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:45,405
Meryl streep has two oscars
because of her baking.
47
00:01:45,490 --> 00:01:47,290
Oh, that's sarcasm, but I forgot to inflect.
48
00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:48,992
This sounds way more like sarcasm.
49
00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:51,094
Inflection is so interesting.
50
00:01:51,162 --> 00:01:52,829
That big bag, uh, at the bottom,
51
00:01:52,897 --> 00:01:54,598
Is that for me?
52
00:01:54,665 --> 00:01:56,566
Anything in there for troy?
53
00:01:56,634 --> 00:01:57,734
Troy barnes?
54
00:01:57,802 --> 00:01:59,786
Barnes, troy?
55
00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:01,121
Barney miller?
56
00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:02,672
Who cares about getting things?
57
00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:05,241
It destroys the true
meaning of valentine's day:
58
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:07,010
The birth of saint valentines.
59
00:02:07,078 --> 00:02:10,263
Oh, good. Now it has arrows. That's safe.
60
00:02:10,348 --> 00:02:12,432
Sorry I'm late. - That's okay.
61
00:02:12,517 --> 00:02:13,683
Actually, you look very early.
62
00:02:13,751 --> 00:02:15,018
Oh, god, I'm really late.
63
00:02:15,086 --> 00:02:17,471
- Yes, you are.
- Yeah, see you later.
64
00:02:20,058 --> 00:02:21,892
Can I get you something?
65
00:02:21,943 --> 00:02:23,927
Water, smelling salts,
66
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:25,762
An alibi for cobain's suicide?
67
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,698
No, but you can help yourself
to a shorter forehead,
68
00:02:28,766 --> 00:02:31,535
A non-keebler nose, and shutting up.
69
00:02:31,602 --> 00:02:33,036
Mm, that stings.
70
00:02:33,104 --> 00:02:34,237
I mean, not the words.
71
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,706
The clouds of bourbon vapor forming them.
72
00:02:38,042 --> 00:02:40,110
A girlfriend from my
anarchist days was in town
73
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,611
And we drank.
74
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,779
Everything.
75
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:43,914
Yeah.
76
00:02:43,965 --> 00:02:46,383
And then you said, "I should call jeff."
77
00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:47,784
Yeah.
78
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,920
'cause the first thing I
do when I'm having fun
79
00:02:49,987 --> 00:02:51,088
Is think about--
80
00:02:51,139 --> 00:02:52,789
jeff winger.
81
00:02:52,857 --> 00:02:56,309
I am calling you. You're probably--
82
00:02:56,394 --> 00:02:58,161
Whatever.
83
00:02:58,229 --> 00:03:00,664
so wassup?
84
00:03:00,731 --> 00:03:01,681
A drunk dial.
85
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:04,851
So much subtext, so much intrigue.
86
00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:08,522
So much of what the kids are calling b.C.I.
87
00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:11,825
That's, uh, booty call implication.
88
00:03:17,081 --> 00:03:19,699
Oh...
89
00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:21,151
What happened to britta?
90
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,536
Justice.
91
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:25,038
Having spent the year
denying her attraction to me
92
00:03:25,123 --> 00:03:27,757
Just to be alternative, britta called me.
93
00:03:27,825 --> 00:03:30,427
At 3:00 a.M. Just to ask,
94
00:03:30,494 --> 00:03:32,045
"what's up?"
95
00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:34,264
A drunk dial? Was there b.C.I.?
96
00:03:34,331 --> 00:03:36,032
Booty call with a capital "b."
97
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:38,135
- This can't be good.
- It's no biggie.
98
00:03:38,186 --> 00:03:39,669
We--we give each other crap all the time.
99
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,054
Well, that's the point.
100
00:03:41,139 --> 00:03:43,190
What crap can she give you now
that you hold all the cards?
101
00:03:43,274 --> 00:03:44,574
You've shifted the balance, like in a sitcom
102
00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:46,810
When one character sees another one naked.
103
00:03:46,861 --> 00:03:48,411
Is that really a sitcom staple?
104
00:03:48,479 --> 00:03:50,180
i>- No, I have no idea
what I'm talking about.
105
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:52,182
I'm abed, I never watch tv.
106
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:59,683
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
107
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,359
i>- Now we all know that in ingles,
108
00:04:02,426 --> 00:04:06,463
The rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo."
109
00:04:06,531 --> 00:04:09,499
In espanol, the gallo says,
110
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,368
"quiquiriquí, quiquiriquí.
111
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:15,205
Quiquiriqí, quiquiriqí, quiquiriqí--"
112
00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:19,059
What? I'm teaching.
113
00:04:19,143 --> 00:04:23,013
I'm sorry.
114
00:04:23,064 --> 00:04:24,764
Aha! I knew you were holding back.
115
00:04:24,849 --> 00:04:27,734
Aw! It's from the girl I'm dating.
116
00:04:27,818 --> 00:04:30,403
Yeah, I met her in biology.
117
00:04:30,488 --> 00:04:33,056
She was looking for geology
and misread the sign.
118
00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:35,659
Yeah, I said, "we do not
study countries in here."
119
00:04:35,726 --> 00:04:38,862
Yeah, she's-- she's dumb, but--
120
00:04:38,913 --> 00:04:40,230
But sweet.
121
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,999
Yeah, mine's from danielle. She's a...
122
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:45,135
A lovely lady in my marketing class.
123
00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:47,003
We're sleeping together.
124
00:04:47,071 --> 00:04:49,572
They sound like very lucky ladies.
125
00:04:49,624 --> 00:04:51,174
Yeah, they're not made up.
126
00:04:51,242 --> 00:04:53,210
Beep, beep. Oh, my god, what's going on?
127
00:04:53,261 --> 00:04:54,344
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
128
00:04:54,411 --> 00:04:56,346
My bullcrap meter's going crazy.
129
00:04:56,413 --> 00:04:57,597
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep--
130
00:05:00,218 --> 00:05:01,685
Oh-ho!
131
00:05:01,752 --> 00:05:03,353
It's these presents you've
obviously sent to yourselves
132
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:05,255
To make it look like you have girlfriends.
133
00:05:05,323 --> 00:05:07,274
That's ridiculous.
134
00:05:07,358 --> 00:05:11,561
This is obviously your
handwriting, mr. Tremor.
135
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,096
And yours is signed, "love, troy"?
136
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:15,265
I tell you, this is the most pathetic thing
137
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:16,533
I've ever seen in the classroom.
138
00:05:18,269 --> 00:05:20,487
oh, my god.
139
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,438
Look at him over there.
140
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:23,907
Cutting the gristle off his steak
141
00:05:23,958 --> 00:05:26,993
As ruthlessly as he cut off
troy and pierce's dignity.
142
00:05:27,078 --> 00:05:29,829
Ew! Now he's eating the gristle.
143
00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:31,982
I'm so sick of chang.
144
00:05:32,049 --> 00:05:33,183
Always tearing people down,
145
00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:34,784
Making them feel horrible about themselves.
146
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,287
Somebody needs to humiliate him
the way he humiliated our boys.
147
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,722
Hey. Moustache.
148
00:05:38,789 --> 00:05:40,724
Get me a juice box.
149
00:05:40,791 --> 00:05:43,893
Now!
150
00:05:46,731 --> 00:05:47,964
Hey, you can vomit onto this food,
151
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,065
Because it already smells like it.
152
00:05:50,735 --> 00:05:53,186
Yeah. Totally.
153
00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:57,741
My law firm went on a retreat
to disney world once,
154
00:05:57,808 --> 00:06:00,443
And I got so drunk that I got into a fight
155
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,862
With animatronic ben franklin.
156
00:06:02,947 --> 00:06:04,414
Why are you telling me this?
157
00:06:04,481 --> 00:06:06,950
Well, the point is, is that when I'm sober,
158
00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:08,501
I don't secretly hate ben franklin
159
00:06:08,586 --> 00:06:09,703
Or even think about him.
160
00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:11,688
So you drunk dialing me,
161
00:06:11,756 --> 00:06:13,840
I mean, it's not, like, a big deal.
162
00:06:13,924 --> 00:06:15,025
You're pitying me now.
163
00:06:15,092 --> 00:06:16,259
Well, you're acting really weird.
164
00:06:16,327 --> 00:06:17,844
I'll talk to you in class, okay?
165
00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:20,797
Just... Leave me alone until then.
166
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:28,054
Beep, beep, beep. What is going on here?
167
00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:29,505
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep--
168
00:06:31,275 --> 00:06:32,675
My doody meter's going crazy.
169
00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:34,561
Okay, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.
170
00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:35,862
Okay, leo, I'm not feeling it.
171
00:06:35,946 --> 00:06:37,013
I really need to believe that you're holding
172
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,281
An imaginary doody meter.
173
00:06:38,349 --> 00:06:39,282
The problem is not me.
174
00:06:39,350 --> 00:06:41,351
It's you and your stupid script.
175
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:42,902
Idiot!
176
00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:44,520
That's the anger. Use it.
177
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,022
Wow.
178
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,624
One papa john's commercial,
179
00:06:47,691 --> 00:06:48,875
And he thinks he's christian bale.
180
00:06:48,959 --> 00:06:50,627
Look, uh, you were right.
181
00:06:50,694 --> 00:06:52,295
Britta is totally weird around me.
182
00:06:52,363 --> 00:06:53,463
It does feel like I saw her naked.
183
00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:54,714
It's a resident premise.
184
00:06:54,799 --> 00:06:56,132
Tony even saw angela naked
on the opening credits
185
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,334
Of who's the boss?
186
00:06:57,385 --> 00:06:59,052
And did tony do something to fix that?
187
00:06:59,136 --> 00:07:00,220
I don't know.
188
00:07:00,304 --> 00:07:01,638
I could never get past the opening credits.
189
00:07:01,705 --> 00:07:03,206
But when chandler saw rachel
naked on friends
190
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,208
To even the score, rachel
needed to see chandler's penis.
191
00:07:05,276 --> 00:07:07,210
All right.
192
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,378
I'll show britta my penis.
193
00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:09,562
Jeff, please don't waste my time.
194
00:07:09,647 --> 00:07:10,814
I lose my chang to cub scouts in 20 minutes.
195
00:07:10,881 --> 00:07:12,982
so, so what?
196
00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:15,051
To even the score, I have to drunk dial her?
197
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,619
Isn't that absurdly simplistic?
198
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:17,771
Would it even work?
199
00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:19,239
Maybe.
200
00:07:19,323 --> 00:07:20,757
Huh, no room for error.
201
00:07:20,825 --> 00:07:23,226
She'd have to believe it was real.
202
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:24,661
Have you ever acted drunk before?
203
00:07:24,728 --> 00:07:26,496
I can totally do it.
204
00:07:26,563 --> 00:07:27,831
I'm fine.
205
00:07:27,898 --> 00:07:28,898
I can drive.
206
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,066
I can totally drive right now.
207
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,234
Give me my keys.
208
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,502
That's enough--
209
00:07:32,569 --> 00:07:33,503
- No, hold on a second.
- All right.
210
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,590
Guys, seriously, give me my keys.
211
00:07:37,675 --> 00:07:40,427
Okay, that's a wrap, people.
212
00:07:40,511 --> 00:07:42,595
I want you to be at my place at 4:00
213
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:43,763
So we can work on this.
214
00:07:43,848 --> 00:07:45,682
Well, I-- no, I can't do that.
215
00:07:45,749 --> 00:07:46,683
Here's why.
216
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:48,802
Dumbest idea ever.
217
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,103
Jeff, you know britta's defining weakness.
218
00:07:50,187 --> 00:07:51,421
She cuts and runs.
219
00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:53,022
If you do this half-assed and fail,
she may leave.
220
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:54,190
Then we all lose her.
221
00:07:54,258 --> 00:07:55,925
That's not gonna happen, not on my watch.
222
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,593
That's a deal breaker. Saddle up.
223
00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:00,263
Sorry I lost my cool. I just quit smoking.
224
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,965
Kid's gonna be a star.
225
00:08:02,032 --> 00:08:04,000
He's a young "the asian
guy" from lost.
226
00:08:06,370 --> 00:08:07,704
An- try it again.Chew.
227
00:08:07,771 --> 00:08:09,105
Come on.
228
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:12,825
You're a big guy.
229
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:15,211
Action.
230
00:08:15,278 --> 00:08:17,714
Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
231
00:08:17,781 --> 00:08:19,315
Hey, britta.
232
00:08:19,383 --> 00:08:22,185
Your call got my thinkin' and
thinkin' got me drinkin'.
233
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:23,670
Stop. That was terrible.
234
00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:25,388
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
235
00:08:25,455 --> 00:08:27,290
You know, I can get drunk alone
236
00:08:27,358 --> 00:08:28,591
If that's what helps people act.
237
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:29,792
Well, that's your problem, jeff.
238
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,394
You've been acting your whole life, okay?
239
00:08:31,462 --> 00:08:32,895
It's time to pass that act up
240
00:08:32,963 --> 00:08:34,163
And find the actor that's playing you.
241
00:08:34,231 --> 00:08:36,849
Oh, they're gonna love you in california.
242
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:40,737
Do you like britta?
243
00:08:40,804 --> 00:08:42,372
Sure. Who doesn't?
244
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:45,241
Over half the people that meet her.
245
00:08:45,308 --> 00:08:47,309
They could be put off by
her vacuous mannequin face.
246
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,696
And her jodie foster severity.
247
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:50,913
But you're different.
248
00:08:50,981 --> 00:08:53,750
Oh, you know, she's no barrel of monkeys.
249
00:08:53,817 --> 00:08:55,034
She--she wants everyone to be honest,
250
00:08:55,119 --> 00:08:56,335
But she lies to herself.
251
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:58,705
She's seen the world, but doesn't get it.
252
00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:00,322
She has more fights about
stuff that doesn't matter
253
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,091
Than a youtube comment section.
254
00:09:02,159 --> 00:09:06,328
She's passionate, which I find stupid.
255
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,597
But entertaining.
256
00:09:07,664 --> 00:09:08,681
Attractive.
257
00:09:08,766 --> 00:09:10,433
There was only attraction at first
258
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:11,934
Because she bothered to play hard to get.
259
00:09:12,002 --> 00:09:13,186
- Mm
-hmm.
260
00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:14,270
I'm happy with michelle.
261
00:09:14,337 --> 00:09:15,555
Yeah, slater is low maintenance.
262
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,306
Mm. The lowest.
263
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,275
Britta's irritating,
impossible, unpredictable,
264
00:09:19,342 --> 00:09:21,477
And she didn't like you so
it felt useless to like her.
265
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,512
Slater likes you how you are,
expects nothing from you,
266
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,364
You're safe from change.
267
00:09:25,449 --> 00:09:27,150
And passion.
268
00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:28,985
- Watch it.
- Watch what?
269
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,369
A phony drunk dial soaked in phony pity
270
00:09:30,454 --> 00:09:31,554
That insults britta even more?
271
00:09:31,622 --> 00:09:34,424
Or... A believable performance
272
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:38,244
Informed by feeling?
273
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,829
You know...
274
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,914
I am sure you're a good director,
275
00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:43,416
But you're a horrible drinking buddy.
276
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,435
I mean, I can't feel things
277
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:49,472
With you studying me like
a beige praying mantis.
278
00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:52,258
You're right.
279
00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,546
I thought you never drank.
280
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,381
Scorsese drank with de niro.
281
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:10,076
♪ ♪
282
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,528
♪ things are clear in black and white ♪
283
00:10:12,579 --> 00:10:16,532
♪ the living color tends to dull our sight ♪
284
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:19,836
♪ like dynamite ♪
285
00:10:19,903 --> 00:10:22,288
♪ if we dare expose our hearts ♪
286
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:24,423
♪ just reveal the purest parts ♪
287
00:10:24,508 --> 00:10:29,912
♪ that's when strange
sensations start to grow ♪
288
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,265
♪ we are not alone ♪
289
00:10:32,349 --> 00:10:34,634
♪ you find out when your cover's blown ♪
290
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:39,722
♪ there'll be somebody
there to break your fall ♪
291
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,191
♪ we are not alone ♪
292
00:10:42,259 --> 00:10:44,644
♪ 'cause when you cut down to the bone ♪
293
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:48,447
♪ we're really not so different after all ♪
294
00:10:48,532 --> 00:10:51,567
♪ after all ♪
295
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:52,768
♪ ♪
296
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,542
All right, class. Turn to page--whoa.
297
00:10:59,609 --> 00:11:02,278
Looks like the law firm
of seacrest and slumdog's
298
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,713
Taking the day off.
299
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:07,967
Ooh.
300
00:11:08,051 --> 00:11:10,586
Another special delivery
from troy and pierce's
301
00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:12,555
Imaginary lovers?
302
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,726
Wait a minute.
303
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:19,128
Oh.
304
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,462
That one's for me.
305
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:22,298
all righty.
306
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:27,303
Doggy. Now, ch-ch--
307
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,672
Wow. It's from princeton.
308
00:11:29,740 --> 00:11:32,525
They want to make me associate professor
309
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:33,693
Of the spanish department?
310
00:11:34,978 --> 00:11:37,280
They're telling me I can name my price?
311
00:11:37,331 --> 00:11:38,647
Oh, my god.
312
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,416
At princeton? Come on!
313
00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:44,170
You two idiots really thought
I'd fall for this, huh?
314
00:11:44,254 --> 00:11:48,090
This is your pathetic attempt to punish me
315
00:11:48,158 --> 00:11:49,342
For humiliating you.
316
00:11:49,426 --> 00:11:50,659
But we didn't do it.
317
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:54,964
Save it!
318
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,382
As punishment,
319
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:59,268
Because you two obviously
don't have any girlfriends,
320
00:11:59,336 --> 00:12:01,137
You will escort me to the valentine's dance
321
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:03,839
Wearing elegant ladies pantsuits.
322
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,725
yeah, right.
323
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,226
you'll do it
324
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:08,394
Or you'll fail my class.
325
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,562
You can't do that.
326
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,197
Have you met me?
327
00:12:11,281 --> 00:12:13,015
I mean it.
328
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,952
Tonight, you are my bitches.
329
00:12:21,024 --> 00:12:23,492
Holy crap.
330
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:26,545
Abed.
331
00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:27,713
Abed.
332
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,976
Ow.
333
00:12:40,043 --> 00:12:41,143
It's 3:00.
334
00:12:41,211 --> 00:12:43,512
What happened?
335
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:46,432
The last thing I remember is...
336
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,451
You were dancing like that girl
337
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,720
In that movie...
338
00:12:50,787 --> 00:12:51,988
The kids in detention?
339
00:12:52,055 --> 00:12:53,089
i>- Breakfast club.
340
00:12:53,156 --> 00:12:56,259
Dear god. What have you done to me?
341
00:12:56,326 --> 00:13:00,162
Wait. Did I call britta?
342
00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:01,580
Where's my phone?
343
00:13:01,665 --> 00:13:03,733
Got it.
344
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,868
You made two outgoing calls.
345
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,170
One to britta, one to your girlfriend.
346
00:13:08,238 --> 00:13:10,006
I don't remember either of them.
347
00:13:10,073 --> 00:13:12,758
Neither do I.
348
00:13:12,843 --> 00:13:13,960
And I don't remember the name of the girl
349
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,312
In the breakfast club.
350
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,180
Mary.
351
00:13:18,248 --> 00:13:20,599
Margaret.
352
00:13:20,684 --> 00:13:23,019
Molly ringworm.
353
00:13:23,086 --> 00:13:24,587
You broke me.
354
00:13:30,044 --> 00:13:32,795
I still can't believe I'm a size 14.
355
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:34,113
I know that 12's a little tight,
356
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,716
But I could have pulled it off.
357
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:39,051
Are you guys really going through with this?
358
00:13:39,102 --> 00:13:41,520
We have to. He'll fail us.
359
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,055
Yeah, but we're gonna find
out who wrote that letter.
360
00:13:43,106 --> 00:13:44,607
We have leads. - Yeah.
361
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,258
It was written on fake princeton letterhead.
362
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:48,427
So whoever wrote it worked at princeton,
363
00:13:48,478 --> 00:13:49,645
Ran out of stationary,
364
00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:51,263
And didn't have time to go to the store.
365
00:13:51,315 --> 00:13:54,166
- Um, you guys--
- mm-mm!
366
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:57,486
What?
367
00:13:57,571 --> 00:13:58,937
Women's sizes run slimmer.
368
00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:01,457
I'm sure you're a 12
everywhere that it counts.
369
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,993
Well, I'll take every little
victory I can get right now.
370
00:14:06,296 --> 00:14:08,964
Hmm. You look about ready
to marry courtney love.
371
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,252
That's the reverse of my zinger from before.
372
00:14:13,303 --> 00:14:14,953
Okay, please stop shouting. All right.
373
00:14:15,005 --> 00:14:16,972
I feel like that person in the tv show.
374
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:20,993
Do you remember calling me last night?
375
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,495
Yeah. Why?
376
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:23,596
Are we cool?
377
00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:25,481
Oh, yeah.
378
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:26,649
Have a seat, drunky brewster.
379
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:30,102
Let's study.
380
00:14:30,153 --> 00:14:31,487
Balance restored, I guess.
381
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,606
Movie reference.
382
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:44,667
♪ ♪
383
00:14:50,674 --> 00:14:52,124
Hey, there.
384
00:14:52,175 --> 00:14:54,510
Happy valentine's day.
385
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:55,678
I've been calling you.
386
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:56,995
Yeah, I know.
387
00:14:57,047 --> 00:14:58,297
I figured I'd just let it go to voice mail
388
00:14:58,348 --> 00:15:00,015
In case you had the wrong number again.
389
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,334
Elaborate?
390
00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:03,719
Oh, you don't remember calling me
391
00:15:03,804 --> 00:15:04,970
At 4:00 in the morning and hanging up
392
00:15:05,021 --> 00:15:07,356
When you realized I wasn't britta?
393
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:10,476
I guess not.
394
00:15:10,527 --> 00:15:12,445
Michelle.
395
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,480
Michelle, um...
396
00:15:14,531 --> 00:15:18,651
I was trying to call britain
to order you toffees.
397
00:15:18,702 --> 00:15:20,319
Now that may sound dumb,
398
00:15:20,370 --> 00:15:21,704
But I needed to open with it
399
00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:26,525
To make the truth less ridiculous.
400
00:15:26,576 --> 00:15:30,880
You see, two nights ago,
britta drunk dialed me
401
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,532
And it embarrassed her and made her sad.
402
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:35,468
And the only way for her
to get her power back
403
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:38,220
Was for me to get believably drunk
404
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,205
And leave her an equally
embarrassing message.
405
00:15:40,257 --> 00:15:43,008
It sure seems like you
and britta are friends
406
00:15:43,059 --> 00:15:46,044
The way my mom's pool cleaner was my uncle.
407
00:15:46,096 --> 00:15:48,046
Have you had sex with her?
Not even a little.
408
00:15:48,098 --> 00:15:49,982
What doesn't make sense is that you did
409
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:52,101
All this work to put a smile on her face,
410
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,270
But you can't pick up ice cream
for law & order night
411
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,054
Because it feels too marriage-y.
412
00:15:56,106 --> 00:15:57,773
First of all, chubby hubby?
413
00:15:57,858 --> 00:15:59,391
I mean, could you pick a scarier flavor?
414
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,027
Let's talk about this later.
415
00:16:02,078 --> 00:16:05,564
I need to chaperone... Something.
416
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:09,902
♪ I love that hop how it hit ♪
417
00:16:09,953 --> 00:16:11,670
♪ everybody stay up on the tip ♪
418
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,005
♪ 'cause they love it when the bass knock ♪
419
00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:15,174
♪ and I love it when the bass kick ♪
420
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:16,926
♪ everybody feel it in your soul ♪
421
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,677
♪ oh, oh, although you'd never know ♪
422
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:20,346
♪ gimme the microphone and let me go ♪
423
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,181
♪ everybody hitting the dance floor ♪
424
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:23,849
♪ here the bass go ♪ - ♪ so so incredible ♪
425
00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:25,551
♪ so cute, them boys go wild ♪
426
00:16:25,602 --> 00:16:27,553
♪ so sweet I'm edible... ♪
427
00:16:27,604 --> 00:16:30,473
There he is. Oh, no.
428
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:33,592
I thought I'd be embarrassed,
now I'm just scared.
429
00:16:33,643 --> 00:16:34,810
I'm seriously reconsidering
430
00:16:34,895 --> 00:16:37,062
How much I want this language credit.
431
00:16:37,113 --> 00:16:39,482
Remember what we said.
432
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,534
Never let him see us cry.
433
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:44,203
Right. Okay.
434
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:45,938
One, two--
435
00:16:45,989 --> 00:16:47,940
- Wait!
- Keep your coats on.
436
00:16:47,991 --> 00:16:49,775
We're the ones that sent
the letter to chang.
437
00:16:49,826 --> 00:16:51,494
What?
438
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,295
You work-- you work at princeton?
439
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,080
We were mad at him for humiliating you.
440
00:16:55,131 --> 00:16:56,248
Well, nice fix,
441
00:16:56,299 --> 00:16:59,218
Tweedle dum and even tweedler dum.
442
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:03,172
Look. We're gonna tell chang the truth.
443
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,724
And we'll pay the price.
444
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,560
Wait.
445
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,195
We-- we can't make you do that.
446
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,346
No, he's right. We--
447
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:11,514
First we gotta get out of these pantsuits
448
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:12,681
And you can put them on.
449
00:17:12,766 --> 00:17:15,300
Look, pierce, this whole thing started
450
00:17:15,352 --> 00:17:17,152
Because you and I were ashamed that
451
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,470
We didn't have ladies that cared about us.
452
00:17:18,522 --> 00:17:21,273
And the good news is, we obviously do.
453
00:17:21,324 --> 00:17:23,492
The bad news is...
454
00:17:23,577 --> 00:17:25,477
That it makes it our manly duty
455
00:17:25,529 --> 00:17:26,662
To protect them tonight.
456
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:28,414
- Oh!
- Oh, that's nice.
457
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,749
But we really can't let you do that. It's--
458
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,152
No, he's right. He's right.
459
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:34,620
Step aside.
460
00:17:34,671 --> 00:17:36,789
- Oh!
- Ooh.
461
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:37,990
Let's handle this like men.
462
00:17:38,041 --> 00:17:39,291
Yes.
463
00:17:39,342 --> 00:17:43,328
♪ I'm going crazy ♪
464
00:17:43,380 --> 00:17:44,847
♪ I'm going crazy ♪
465
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,131
Oh, ladies...
466
00:17:46,182 --> 00:17:47,216
They're gonna be okay, right?
467
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,468
Get in my mercedes.
468
00:17:49,519 --> 00:17:51,854
Just look away, baby.
469
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:54,339
♪ ♪
470
00:17:54,391 --> 00:17:55,641
Just look away.
471
00:17:55,692 --> 00:17:57,059
♪ 'cause they love it when the bass knock ♪
472
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,611
♪ and I love it when the bass kick ♪
473
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:02,314
♪ ♪
474
00:18:02,365 --> 00:18:03,949
♪ 'cause they love it when the bass knock ♪
475
00:18:04,017 --> 00:18:05,851
♪ and I love it when the bass kick ♪
476
00:18:05,902 --> 00:18:09,154
♪ ♪
477
00:18:09,205 --> 00:18:10,522
♪ 'cause they love it
when the bass knock... ♪
478
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,377
Whoa.
479
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,546
Looking for someone?
480
00:18:17,631 --> 00:18:21,417
Yeah. Slater.
481
00:18:22,836 --> 00:18:25,254
Very funny.
482
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:26,422
You know, when you called me last night
483
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:29,708
And invited me to the dance, I was shocked.
484
00:18:29,759 --> 00:18:33,112
And...Thrilled.
485
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:36,715
Are you okay?
486
00:18:36,766 --> 00:18:38,350
Yeah.
487
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:41,386
No. No. Look.
488
00:18:41,438 --> 00:18:43,989
I'm sorry. Uh, I don't--
489
00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:45,491
I don't remember asking you to the dance.
490
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:46,859
I don't remember anything.
491
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:49,495
And now slater knows about
all the drunk dialing stuff
492
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:50,696
And I'm in the dog house.
493
00:18:50,747 --> 00:18:53,415
And if she finds out about this, it's over.
494
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:56,285
So again, I am sorry. I am so, so sorry.
495
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,871
And you are messing with
me right now, aren't you?
496
00:18:58,922 --> 00:19:00,623
I knew you didn't remember anything
497
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,508
From that phone call last night.
498
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:06,411
You got dressed up just to see me sweat?
499
00:19:06,463 --> 00:19:08,797
Oh, believe me, you're worth it.
500
00:19:08,882 --> 00:19:10,849
Sorry, just chaperoning. Enjoy the dance.
501
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,718
Wait, michelle.
502
00:19:12,769 --> 00:19:15,971
Jeff. What's left to say?
503
00:19:16,056 --> 00:19:19,558
Uh, I--I don't know.
504
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:22,061
I do.
505
00:19:22,112 --> 00:19:26,098
He said it last night.
506
00:19:26,149 --> 00:19:28,984
so look,
507
00:19:29,069 --> 00:19:31,904
I am really into michelle,
508
00:19:31,955 --> 00:19:33,489
And I don't wanna screw it up.
509
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:36,291
She's a perfect girlfriend.
510
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,127
And I want you to be as happy as me
511
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,295
Because you're, like,
my favorite friend, so--
512
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:42,081
girlfriend, girlfriend.
513
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,917
I'm sorry. Abed just made a turtle face.
514
00:19:44,968 --> 00:19:46,135
Hey, britta!
515
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,670
In his defense,
516
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,588
Abed's turtle face is really funny.
517
00:19:49,639 --> 00:19:50,839
Thanks, britta.
518
00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:54,259
Yeah, thanks.
519
00:19:54,310 --> 00:19:56,428
Yeah.
520
00:19:56,479 --> 00:19:59,314
That was the first 20 seconds
of a 40-minute message.
521
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:03,602
Very informative.
522
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,439
Happy valentine's day.
523
00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:08,607
Perfect boyfriend.
524
00:20:08,658 --> 00:20:12,077
Yeah. That's me.
525
00:20:27,814 --> 00:20:29,498
Man, I cannot wait to get out
526
00:20:29,582 --> 00:20:30,916
Of these ridiculous outfits.
527
00:20:30,983 --> 00:20:34,186
Woof, I know. Yeah.
528
00:20:34,254 --> 00:20:35,754
What are you doing? I'm parked over here.
529
00:20:35,822 --> 00:20:37,923
Oh, uh, well, um--
530
00:20:40,009 --> 00:20:41,543
- Come on.
- All right. Okay.
531
00:20:41,628 --> 00:20:43,595
Um, what the hell is this?
532
00:20:43,663 --> 00:20:45,130
We're going to get frozen yogurt.
533
00:20:45,181 --> 00:20:46,298
I'm not gay, man.
534
00:20:46,349 --> 00:20:47,599
They close in seven minutes.
535
00:20:47,667 --> 00:20:48,884
I could have driven you.
536
00:20:48,968 --> 00:20:51,687
- You said he hated fro
-yo.
537
00:20:51,771 --> 00:20:56,225
Just drive.
538
00:20:56,309 --> 00:20:56,977
Slut!
539
00:20:57,028 --> 00:21:02,114
Sync by honeybunny
Resync by Pippo Inzaghi