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It's Valentine's week,
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00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:08,939
when the Greendale Human Being
is the Cupid Being,
3
00:00:09,142 --> 00:00:12,134
delivering your gift
to that special someone.
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00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:15,678
But remember, Cupid's face
is magic marker on nylon,
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00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:20,376
so love is not only blind but also
dizzy and a little belligerent.
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00:00:20,887 --> 00:00:23,048
I'm chaperoning tomorrow's dance.
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00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:25,349
You should come.
Maybe your study buds will go.
8
00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:28,049
What's the blonde's name?
Bitter, Butter, Beetlejuice?
9
00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:31,230
Britta. Yeah, she says Valentine's
Day ritualizes a connection
10
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:34,923
between affection and candy so girls
can learn the ropes of prostitution.
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00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:36,432
Translation, no date.
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I'm gonna join you at that dance.
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00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:41,969
But as a novice boyfriend, could I
get a map of the minefield known as
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women's Valentine expectations?
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00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:47,538
Every day of the year, I want
you to do what makes you happy.
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00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:50,213
Tomorrow, I'm gonna be
happy spending the night
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with an insatiable
statistics professor.
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Jeff, it's the Registrar's Office.
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00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:02,623
Seems you were wrong about paying
tuition with airline miles.
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We're gonna need a check...
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Message deleted.
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00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:09,099
Jeff Winger, I am calling you.
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Oh, yeah.
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You're probably, whatever.
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So, what's up? Heh.
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Oh, it's the Cupid Being.
Ooh!
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Now it has arrows. That's safe.
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Oh! It's from that cook with the
long beard in the cafeteria.
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I guess when he said,
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"I'm gonna get you",
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um, he meant chocolates.
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Aww. A flower from Vaughn.
He's away on a vision quest.
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00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,125
You got something, Abed?
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00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:41,129
Another muffin basket
from another actress
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who wants to be in my next film.
Does that work?
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Yep. Meryl Streep has two Oscars
because of her baking.
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Oh, that's sarcasm
but I forgot to inflect.
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This sounds
way more like sarcasm.
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Inflection is so interesting.
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That big bag at the bottom.
Is that for me?
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Anything in there for Troy?
Troy Barnes.
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Barnes, comma, Troy?
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Who cares about getting things?
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00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:06,254
It destroys the true meaning
of Valentine's Day.
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The birth of St. Valentine's.
Oh, good.
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00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:11,126
Now it has arrows. That's safe.
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00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,458
Sorry I'm late.
It's okay.
48
00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:16,032
Actually, you look very early.
Oh, God, I'm really late.
49
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:17,999
Yes, you are.
Yeah. See you later.
50
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,172
That's all right. We'll see you guys.
51
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:24,537
Can I get you something?
Water? Smelling salts?
52
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:26,769
An alibi for Cobain's suicide?
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00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,505
No, but you could help yourself
to a shorter forehead,
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a non-Keebler nose,
and shutting up.
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00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,750
Hmm. That stings.
I mean, not the words.
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00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:37,718
The clouds of bourbon vapor
forming them.
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00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:41,189
Heh. A girlfriend from
my anarchist days was in town
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and we drank. Everything.
59
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,966
Yeah. And then you said,
"I should call Jeff."
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00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:51,570
Yeah, because the first thing I do
when I'm having fun is think about...
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00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:56,231
Jeff Winger, I am calling you.
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00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:59,206
You're probably, whatever.
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00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:01,277
So, what's up?
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00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:02,709
The drunk dial.
65
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:05,544
So much subtext.
So much intrigue.
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00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:09,552
So much of what the kids
are calling BCI.
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00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:12,850
That's, uh,
Booty Call Implication.
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00:03:18,231 --> 00:03:19,198
Oh...
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00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,095
What happened to Britta?
Justice.
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00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:27,239
Having spent the year denying her
attraction to me just to be alternative,
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00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:33,072
Britta called me at 3 a.m.
just to ask, "What's up?"
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00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:35,270
A drunk dial? Was it BCI?
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00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:37,915
Booty call with a capital B.
Mm.
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00:03:38,117 --> 00:03:39,209
This can't be good.
It's no biggie.
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00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:40,681
We give each other crap
all the time.
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00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:44,084
Well, that's the point. What crap can
she give now that you hold the cards?
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00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,088
You shifted the balance like in a sitcom
when one character sees another one naked.
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00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:49,454
Is that really a sitcom staple?
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00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:53,189
No. I have no idea what I'm talking about.
I'm Abed, I never watch TV.
80
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:07,004
Now, we all know that in English, the
rooster says "cock-a-doodle-doo."
81
00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:10,705
In español, the gallo says:
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What? I'm teaching.
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Aha! I knew you were holding back.
84
00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:29,463
Oh! It's from the girl I'm dating.
85
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:31,159
Yeah, I met her in Biology.
86
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,896
She was looking for Geology
and misread the sign.
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00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,803
Yeah, I said, "We do not study
countries in here." Heh.
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00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:40,377
Yeah, she's...
She's dumb, but... But sweet.
89
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:43,674
Yeah, mine's from Danielle.
She's, uh... Uh...
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00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:46,147
A lovely lady
in my Marketing class.
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00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:48,017
We're sleeping together.
92
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,587
They sound like very lucky ladies.
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00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,189
Yeah, they're not made up.
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00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:54,859
Beep-beep! Oh, my God,
what's going on? Beep-beep-beep!
95
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:57,291
My bull crap meter's going crazy.
96
00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:00,466
Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep!
Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep!
97
00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:04,061
It's these presents
you've obviously sent yourselves
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00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:06,295
to make it look like
you have girlfriends.
99
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:07,768
That's ridiculous.
100
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:11,671
This is obviously your handwriting,
Mr. Tremor.
101
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,103
And yours is signed, "Love, Troy"?
102
00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:17,549
I tell you, this is the most pathetic
thing I've ever seen in the classroom.
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00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:21,512
Oh, my God.
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00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:24,621
Look at him over there,
cutting the gristle off his steak
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as ruthlessly as he cut off
Troy and Pierce's dignity.
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Ew! Now he's eating the gristle.
107
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I'm so sick of Chang.
Always tearing people down,
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making them feel horrible
about themselves.
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Somebody needs to humiliate him
the way he humiliated our boys.
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00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,734
Mustache, get me a juice box.
111
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:44,842
Now.
And that somebody is us.
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You can vomit onto this food
because it already smells like it.
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Heh-heh. Yeah, totally.
Heh-heh-heh.
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00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,756
My law firm went on a retreat
to Disney World once,
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00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:03,895
and I got so drunk that I got into
a fight with animatronic Ben Franklin.
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00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,428
Why are you telling me this?
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00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:07,565
Well, the point is
that when I'm sober,
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00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:10,668
I don't secretly hate Ben Franklin
or even think about him,
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so you drunk dialing me?
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It's not like a big deal.
My God. You're pitying me now.
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00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:19,769
Well, you're acting really weird.
I'll talk to you in class, okay?
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Just leave me alone till then.
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00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:26,782
Beep-beep-beep!
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00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,851
What is going on here?
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Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep!
126
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My doody meter's going crazy.
127
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Okay, cut, cut, cut.
Leo, I'm not feeling it.
128
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,622
I really need to believe that you're
holding an imaginary doody meter.
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The problem is not me.
It's you and your stupid script.
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Idiot.
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00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,536
That's the anger. Use it.
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00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,398
Wow.
One Papa John's commercial
133
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:49,597
and he thinks he's Christian Bale.
134
00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:51,436
Look, uh, you were right.
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00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:54,477
Britta is totally weird around me.
It does feel like I saw her naked.
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00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:55,669
It's a resonant premise.
137
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,180
Tony even saw Angela naked on the opening
credits of Who's the Boss?
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00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,079
And did Tony do
something to fix that?
139
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:02,254
I don't know. I could never
get past the opening credits.
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00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:04,320
But when Chandler
saw Rachel naked on Friends,
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00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:06,219
to even the score Rachel needed
to see Chandler's penis.
142
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:09,388
All right. I'll show Britta my penis.
143
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:12,257
Jeff, please don't waste my time.
I lose my Chang to Cub Scouts in 20 minutes.
144
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:15,798
So... So, what? To even the score,
I have to drunk dial her?
145
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:18,800
Isn't that absurdly simplistic?
Would it even work?
146
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,267
Maybe. Oh.
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00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:23,909
No room for error.
She'd have to believe it was real.
148
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:25,267
Have you ever acted drunk before?
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00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:27,002
I can totally do it.
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00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:30,944
I'm fine. I can drive.
I can totally drive right now.
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00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:32,674
Give me my keys.
That's enough.
152
00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,512
No, hold on a second.
All right.
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00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,779
I don't care.
154
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,616
No, seriously, give me my keys.
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00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,449
Okay, that's a wrap, people.
156
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,786
I want you to be at my place at 4
so we can work on this.
157
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:47,693
Well, no, I can't do that. Here's why.
158
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Dumbest idea ever.
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00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,004
You know Britta's defining weakness.
She cuts and runs.
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00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,969
Do this half-assed and fail, she
may leave, then we all lose her.
161
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:56,971
That's not gonna happen.
Not on my watch.
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00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:58,609
That's a deal breaker. Saddle up.
163
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,279
Sorry I lost my cool.
Just quit smoking.
164
00:08:01,914 --> 00:08:05,281
Kid's gonna be a star. He's a young
"the Asian guy from Lost."
165
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,478
Try it again.
166
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,850
Come on. You're a big guy.
167
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Action.
168
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,730
Boop-boop-boop-boop-boop.
169
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:21,263
Hey, Britta.
Your call got me thinking,
170
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:23,196
and thinking got me drinking.
171
00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:24,699
Stop. That was terrible.
172
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:26,394
What?
Mm-mm.
173
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:29,507
You know, I can get drunk alone
if that's what helps people act.
174
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:32,405
Well, that's your problem, Jeff.
You've been acting your whole life. Okay?
175
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:35,172
Time to pass that act up
and find the actor playing you.
176
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:37,815
Oh, they are gonna love you
in California.
177
00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:41,775
Do you like Britta?
178
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:45,649
Sure, who doesn't?
Over half the people that meet her.
179
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:48,117
They can be put off
by her vacuous mannequin face,
180
00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:50,488
and her Jodie Foster severity.
181
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:51,919
But you're different.
Uh...
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00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:54,258
You know.
She's no barrel of monkeys.
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00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,095
She... She wants everyone to be
honest but she lies to herself.
184
00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:59,294
She's seen the world
but doesn't get it.
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00:08:59,505 --> 00:09:01,632
She has more fights about stuff
that doesn't matter
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00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:03,536
than a YouTube comment section.
187
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:08,680
She's passionate, which I
find stupid but entertaining.
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00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,042
Attractive?
It was only attraction at first
189
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,616
because she bothered to play
hard to get.
190
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:15,286
I'm happy with Michelle.
191
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,820
Slater is low maintenance.
Mm. The lowest.
192
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,083
Britta, irritating, impossible,
unpredictable.
193
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,261
She didn't like you.
So it felt useless to like her.
194
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:26,329
Slater likes you how you are, expects nothing from you.
You're safe from change.
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00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:28,090
And passion.
196
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,700
Watch it.
Watch what?
197
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:33,668
A phony drunk-dial soaked in phony
pity that insults Britta even more?
198
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:36,865
Or a believable performance
informed by feeling?
199
00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:42,410
You know, I am sure
you're a good director,
200
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:44,446
but you are a horrible
drinking buddy.
201
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:47,050
I mean, I can't feel things
with you studying me
202
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,244
like a beige praying mantis.
203
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,089
You're right.
204
00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,988
I thought you never drank.
Scorsese drank with De Niro.
205
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:07,437
It's not for me.
It's for the audience.
206
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,292
All right, class, turn to page... Whoa.
207
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,087
Looks like the law firm
of Seacrest and Slumdog
208
00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:04,728
is taking the day off.
209
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:13,538
Ooh. Another special delivery from
Troy and Pierce's imaginary lovers?
210
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:19,674
Wait a minute. Uhn.
211
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:22,473
That one's for me. Heh-heh-heh.
212
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,776
All right. Oh, yeah. Huh. Chh-chh.
213
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:30,684
Wow. It's from Princeton.
214
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:33,085
They want to make me
associate professor
215
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:35,920
of the Spanish Department?
216
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:38,926
They're telling me
I can name my price? Oh, my God.
217
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:41,433
At Princeton? Come on.
218
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:45,195
You two idiots really thought
I'd fall for this, huh?
219
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:50,364
This is your pathetic attempt
to punish me for humiliating you.
220
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:53,374
But we didn't do it.
Save it.
221
00:11:56,348 --> 00:12:00,284
As punishment, because you two
obviously don't have any girlfriends,
222
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:04,855
escort me to the Valentine's Dance
wearing elegant ladies' pantsuits.
223
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,752
Ha-ha-ha. Yeah, right.
224
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,422
You'll do it or you fail my class.
225
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:12,222
You can't do that.
Have you met me?
226
00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:15,764
I mean it.
Tonight, you are my bitches.
227
00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:23,734
Holy crap.
228
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,207
Abed.
229
00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:29,376
Abed?
230
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:42,158
It's 3:00.
231
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:44,022
What happened?
232
00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:46,562
The last thing I remember
233
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,258
is you were dancing
like that girl in the movie
234
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:53,971
Kids In Detention?
Breakfast Club?
235
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:56,937
Dear God.
What have you done to me?
236
00:12:57,143 --> 00:13:00,237
Wait, did I call Britta?
237
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,113
Where's my phone?
Got it.
238
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,611
You made two outgoing calls.
239
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:09,185
One to Britta, one to your girlfriend.
240
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:11,015
I don't remember either of them.
241
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:12,212
Neither do I.
242
00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:16,886
And I don't remember the name
of the girl in The Breakfast Club.
243
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:18,855
Mary.
244
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,993
Margaret.
245
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,425
Molly Ringworm?
246
00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:25,627
You broke me.
247
00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:33,636
I still can't believe I'm a size 14.
248
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:37,509
I know the 12 was a little tight
but I could have pulled it off.
249
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:39,850
You guys really going through
with this?
250
00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:41,952
We have to. He'll fail us.
251
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,679
But we're gonna find out who wrote
that letter. We have leads.
252
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:47,916
Yeah. It was written on fake Princeton letterhead.
So whoever wrote it,
253
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:50,288
worked at Princeton,
ran out of stationary,
254
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,054
and didn't have time
to go to the store.
255
00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:54,596
Um, you guys?
Mm-mm! Mm.
256
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:56,225
What?
257
00:13:58,037 --> 00:13:59,527
Women's sizes run slimmer.
258
00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:02,298
I'm sure you're a 12 everywhere
that it counts.
259
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,738
Well, I'll take every little victory
I can get right now.
260
00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:06,543
Thanks.
261
00:14:06,812 --> 00:14:09,804
Hmm. You look about ready
to marry Courtney Love.
262
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,985
That's the reverse of my zinger
from before.
263
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,815
Okay, please stop shouting, all right?
I feel like that person in the TV show.
264
00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:20,682
Do you remember calling me
last night?
265
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,318
Yeah. Why?
266
00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:25,788
Are we cool?
Oh, yeah.
267
00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:29,024
Have a seat, Drunky Brewster.
Let's study.
268
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,103
Hey, balance restored, I guess.
269
00:14:32,304 --> 00:14:34,204
Movie reference.
270
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:52,650
Hey there.
271
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,117
Happy Valentine's Day.
272
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,557
I've been calling you.
Yeah, I know.
273
00:14:57,763 --> 00:15:01,699
I figured I'd just let it go to voicemail
in case you had the wrong number again.
274
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:03,567
Elaborate?
Oh, you don't remember
275
00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:04,861
calling me at 4 in the morning
276
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,766
and hanging up
when you realized I wasn't Britta?
277
00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:09,270
I guess not.
278
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:12,967
Michelle.
279
00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:14,736
Michelle, um,
280
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:19,312
I was trying to call Britain
to order you toffees.
281
00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:20,815
Now that might sound dumb,
282
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:25,320
but I needed to open with it
to make the truth less ridiculous.
283
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:31,725
Two nights ago,
Britta drunk-dialed me,
284
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,195
and it embarrassed her
and made her sad,
285
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,766
and the only way for her
to get her power back
286
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:39,563
was for me to get believably drunk
and leave her
287
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,433
an equally
embarrassing message.
288
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,801
It sure seems like you and Britta
are friends
289
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:46,842
the way my mom's pool cleaner
was my uncle.
290
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:48,843
Have you had sex with her?
Not even a little.
291
00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:51,175
What doesn't make sense is
that you did all this work
292
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:54,113
to put a smile on her face
but can't pick up ice cream
293
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,811
for Law and Order night
because it feels too marriage-y.
294
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:58,387
First of all, Chubby Hubby?
295
00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:00,990
I mean, could you pick
a scarier flavor?
296
00:16:01,193 --> 00:16:06,358
Let's talk about this later.
I need to chaperone something.
297
00:16:27,953 --> 00:16:30,547
There he is. Oh.
298
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:34,255
You know, I thought I'd be embarrassed.
Now I'm just scared.
299
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:37,588
I am seriously reconsidering how
much I want this language credit.
300
00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:38,820
Remember what we said?
301
00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:42,200
Never let him see us cry.
302
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:43,629
Right.
303
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,737
Okay, one, two...
304
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:48,566
Wait.
Keep your coats on.
305
00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:50,571
We're the ones that sent
the letter to Chang.
306
00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:52,107
What?
307
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:53,573
You work...
You work at Princeton?
308
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:55,679
We were mad at him
for humiliating you.
309
00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:59,874
Well, nice fix, Tweedledum
and even Tweedlerdum.
310
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:03,612
Look, we're gonna tell Chang
the truth,
311
00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:06,081
and we'll pay the price.
312
00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:07,690
Wait.
313
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:10,290
We can't make you do that.
No, he's right.
314
00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:13,522
First we gotta get out of these
pantsuits then you can put them on.
315
00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:17,031
Look, Pierce, this whole thing started
because you and I were ashamed
316
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,261
we didn't have ladies
that cared about us.
317
00:17:19,471 --> 00:17:21,769
And the good news is
we obviously do.
318
00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:27,507
The bad news is that it makes it our
manly duty to protect them tonight.
319
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:28,975
Oh!
That's nice
320
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:31,206
but we really can't let you do that.
321
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:33,942
No, he's right. He's right.
322
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:36,678
Step aside.
Oh.
323
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:40,122
Let's handle this like men.
Yeah.
324
00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:46,922
Whoo. Ladies.
325
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:50,465
They're going to be okay, right?
Get in my Mercedes.
326
00:17:50,669 --> 00:17:52,728
Just look away, baby.
327
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,137
Just look away.
328
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:18,391
Whoa.
Looking for someone?
329
00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:21,060
Yeah.
330
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:23,128
Slater.
Heh.
331
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:24,900
Very funny.
332
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:28,430
You know, when you called me last
night and invited me to the dance,
333
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,574
I was shocked.
334
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:32,641
And thrilled.
335
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:36,314
Are you okay?
336
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:39,048
Yeah.
337
00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:40,240
No. No.
338
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:43,012
Look, I'm sorry.
339
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:47,659
Uh, I don't... I don't remember asking you to the dance.
I don't remember anything.
340
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:50,454
And now Slater knows about
all the drunk-dialing stuff,
341
00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:54,098
and I'm in the doghouse.
And if she finds out about this, it's over.
342
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,132
So, again, I am sorry.
I am so, so sorry.
343
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,668
And you are messing with me
right now, aren't you?
344
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,966
I knew you didn't remember anything
from that phone call last night.
345
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:07,202
You got dressed up
just to see me sweat?
346
00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:09,642
Oh, believe me. You're worth it.
347
00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:11,475
Sorry. Just chaperoning.
Enjoy the dance.
348
00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:12,672
Wait, Michelle.
349
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:15,851
Jeff, what's left to say?
350
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,290
Uh... l... I don't know.
351
00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,356
I...
I do.
352
00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:25,454
He said it last night.
353
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:32,166
So look, I am really into Michelle.
354
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:36,808
And I don't wanna screw it up.
She's a perfect girlfriend.
355
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,704
And I want you to be
as happy as me
356
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:42,403
because you're, like, my favorite
friend, so... Ha-ha-ha.
357
00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:45,708
I'm sorry.
Abed just made a turtle face.
358
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:50,379
In his defense,
Abed's turtle face is really funny.
359
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:53,949
Thanks, Britta.
Yeah, thanks.
360
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,887
Yeah.
361
00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,163
That was the first 20 seconds
of a 40-minute message.
362
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:03,234
Very informative.
363
00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:09,372
Happy Valentine's Day,
perfect boyfriend.
364
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:12,376
Yeah, that's me.
365
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:32,260
Man, I cannot wait to get out
of these ridiculous outfits. Woof!
366
00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:33,761
I know, yeah.
367
00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:37,265
What are you doing?
I'm parked over here.
368
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:38,959
Oh, uh, well... Uh...
369
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:42,037
Heh-heh.
Come on.
370
00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:44,638
Um... What the hell is this?
371
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:46,140
We're going to get
frozen yogurt. Aah.
372
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:48,643
I'm not gay, man.
They close in seven minutes.
373
00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:49,939
I could have driven you.
374
00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:52,479
You said he hated fro-yo.
375
00:20:52,684 --> 00:20:54,117
Just drive.
376
00:20:57,456 --> 00:20:58,445
Slut!