1
00:00:05,571 --> 00:00:06,671
Good morning, everybody.
2
00:00:06,738 --> 00:00:08,000
- Hey.
- Hi, jeff.
3
00:00:08,068 --> 00:00:10,795
- I brought bagels.
- Oh, I'd love a bagel.
4
00:00:10,863 --> 00:00:14,597
Be a perfect beginning...
For my first day of billiards class.
5
00:00:14,665 --> 00:00:17,806
Oh, did you pick a special outfit...
So you can look sexy shooting pool?
6
00:00:17,873 --> 00:00:20,870
Shirley, I have no idea
what you are talkin' about.
7
00:00:22,038 --> 00:00:23,641
- Oh!
- 13.
8
00:00:23,712 --> 00:00:27,648
- Ah, great, so much for "baggels."
- So much for what?
9
00:00:27,715 --> 00:00:30,115
The baggels.
You dropped them on the floor.
10
00:00:30,183 --> 00:00:32,482
Uh, they're called bagels.
11
00:00:32,550 --> 00:00:35,484
I lived in new york, troy.
I know what a baggel is.
12
00:00:36,552 --> 00:00:38,084
What the hell is wrong with you?
13
00:00:38,152 --> 00:00:39,251
What?
14
00:00:39,319 --> 00:00:40,451
You say bagel wrong.
15
00:00:40,519 --> 00:00:41,985
I say it the same as you.
16
00:00:42,053 --> 00:00:44,753
Say it again.
17
00:00:44,821 --> 00:00:45,754
Baggel.
18
00:00:48,322 --> 00:00:50,022
Look, can we just keep studying?
19
00:00:50,090 --> 00:00:53,391
- We're on page 258.
- What "padge" was that?
20
00:00:53,458 --> 00:00:54,724
- Two "five
-ty" eight.
21
00:00:57,627 --> 00:00:58,560
Check this out.
22
00:01:00,130 --> 00:01:02,064
Oh, it's a drawing of abed with...
23
00:01:02,132 --> 00:01:04,166
Hearts all around it.
24
00:01:04,234 --> 00:01:05,401
Strictly speaking, troy,
25
00:01:05,469 --> 00:01:07,102
The bible condemns this level of friendship.
26
00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:08,503
I didn't draw that.
27
00:01:08,571 --> 00:01:09,637
I bought that book used.
28
00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:11,071
It must have been whoever had it last.
29
00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:14,073
Obviously, it's a girl
who has a crush on abed.
30
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,740
this is so romantic.
31
00:01:15,808 --> 00:01:18,041
It's just like the notebook, accept,
instead of alzheimer's,
32
00:01:18,109 --> 00:01:19,442
- Abed has--
- ahem!
33
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,021
Someone who likes him.
34
00:01:21,511 --> 00:01:23,211
Well, whoever she is, she's fat.
35
00:01:23,279 --> 00:01:25,446
These thick pencil lines are
drawn with a heavy hand.
36
00:01:25,513 --> 00:01:27,080
We gotta find this person for abed.
37
00:01:27,147 --> 00:01:29,181
Unless it's a boy-
-then we have to find him for jesus.
38
00:01:29,249 --> 00:01:31,650
But, either way, this is going to be fun.
39
00:01:37,761 --> 00:01:44,590
Sync By YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
40
00:01:45,257 --> 00:01:48,291
Adios.
Heh.
41
00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:50,926
Adios.
Adios.
42
00:01:50,994 --> 00:01:53,161
i>- Adios. Adios.
43
00:01:53,229 --> 00:01:57,197
Guys! Class is over.
I'm trying to get you to leave.
44
00:01:57,265 --> 00:02:01,267
- Oh...Cool. Pick that up.
45
00:02:01,334 --> 00:02:03,268
Senor chang?
46
00:02:03,336 --> 00:02:05,536
We're trying to figure out
whose spanish book this was...
47
00:02:05,604 --> 00:02:06,670
Before troy's.
48
00:02:15,543 --> 00:02:16,509
Jenny adams.
49
00:02:16,577 --> 00:02:17,643
Oh.
50
00:02:17,711 --> 00:02:19,144
Oh, come on.
51
00:02:19,212 --> 00:02:21,279
If all chinese were psychic,
you would have started...
52
00:02:21,347 --> 00:02:23,047
Using birth control centuries ago.
53
00:02:23,114 --> 00:02:25,515
Her name's in the front
of the book, morons.
54
00:02:25,583 --> 00:02:27,450
Yay! He's right.
55
00:02:27,517 --> 00:02:30,319
Them, I understand,
but how did you not think of that?
56
00:02:30,387 --> 00:02:32,354
I may have been thrown off...
57
00:02:32,421 --> 00:02:34,455
By britta's pronunciation
of the word "bagel."
58
00:02:34,523 --> 00:02:35,923
- How do you pronounce bagel?
- I don't.
59
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,057
- Come on.
- Baggel.
60
00:02:37,125 --> 00:02:39,292
Ugh! You're the worst.
61
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,660
So...
62
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:41,860
We have a name.
63
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:42,861
Jenny adams.
64
00:02:42,929 --> 00:02:44,462
Cool.
65
00:02:44,530 --> 00:02:45,630
See? It's a fat girl's name.
66
00:02:45,697 --> 00:02:47,498
Might as well be gravy jones.
67
00:02:47,565 --> 00:02:49,599
Pierce, it doesn't
matter what she looks like.
68
00:02:49,667 --> 00:02:51,367
This will be great for abed.
69
00:02:51,435 --> 00:02:52,835
It will?
70
00:02:52,902 --> 00:02:54,703
Aren't you excited about talking to her?
71
00:02:54,770 --> 00:02:56,504
- I wasn't planning on it.
- What?
72
00:02:56,572 --> 00:02:58,139
Guys, come on. You heard abed.
73
00:02:58,206 --> 00:02:59,540
He's not interested. Drop it.
74
00:02:59,607 --> 00:03:01,007
Jeff, you need to mind your own business.
75
00:03:01,075 --> 00:03:03,309
And, abed, you need to get
with this girl immediately,
76
00:03:03,377 --> 00:03:04,877
- If not sooner.
- Yeah?
77
00:03:04,944 --> 00:03:06,578
Abed, for guys like you,
78
00:03:06,646 --> 00:03:08,479
This kind of opportunity
only comes around...
79
00:03:08,547 --> 00:03:09,580
Once in a li--
80
00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:10,814
While.
81
00:03:10,882 --> 00:03:13,917
It's important to date in college, abed.
82
00:03:13,984 --> 00:03:16,586
It's a time of freedom and exploration,
83
00:03:16,653 --> 00:03:18,187
A time when a simple pillow fight...
84
00:03:18,254 --> 00:03:21,155
Between two innocent girls could
turn into a steamy night...
85
00:03:21,223 --> 00:03:24,158
Of unbridled lust.
86
00:03:24,225 --> 00:03:26,259
Britta knows all about it.
87
00:03:26,327 --> 00:03:27,727
Okay, cool.
88
00:03:27,795 --> 00:03:29,262
So you guys are gonna can't buy me love me,
right?
89
00:03:29,330 --> 00:03:30,596
We're gonna what you?
90
00:03:30,664 --> 00:03:31,897
i>- You're gonna can't buy me love me.
91
00:03:31,965 --> 00:03:33,632
You know, transform me from
zero to hero, geek to chic.
92
00:03:33,699 --> 00:03:36,300
i>- Oh, he wants us to love
don't cost a thing him.
93
00:03:37,836 --> 00:03:39,736
i>- Can't buy me love was the
remake for white audiences.
94
00:03:39,804 --> 00:03:41,338
That's so uncomfortable when they do that.
95
00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:43,039
I can't believe it doesn't insult them.
96
00:03:43,107 --> 00:03:44,340
Ahem.
97
00:03:44,408 --> 00:03:46,175
All right, nobody here...
98
00:03:46,242 --> 00:03:47,609
Is can't buy me love-ing...
99
00:03:47,676 --> 00:03:49,577
Or love don't cost a thin
g-ing anyone.
100
00:03:49,645 --> 00:03:52,446
Because we've all seen enough
afterschool specials...
101
00:03:52,514 --> 00:03:53,980
And fat albert...
102
00:03:54,048 --> 00:03:57,917
To know that abed only needs to be himself.
103
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,454
Sure glad there are no old people here.
104
00:04:01,521 --> 00:04:05,056
This conversation would probably
be total gibberish to them.
105
00:04:05,124 --> 00:04:07,692
Jeff's unprecedentedly right about this.
106
00:04:07,759 --> 00:04:09,427
Abed, when we find this girl,
107
00:04:09,494 --> 00:04:11,094
You're gonna approach her
just the way you are,
108
00:04:11,162 --> 00:04:12,295
Because that's good enough.
109
00:04:12,363 --> 00:04:14,331
Yeah, and then you can
take her to a nice deli...
110
00:04:14,398 --> 00:04:16,700
And treat her to a baggel.
111
00:04:39,687 --> 00:04:42,154
Hey, nice shooting. Good, clean strokes.
112
00:04:42,221 --> 00:04:45,623
- Thanks.
- Form a line, please!
113
00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:49,726
My name is coach bogner.
114
00:04:49,794 --> 00:04:53,996
Welcome to the art of pool.
115
00:04:54,064 --> 00:04:56,298
Which is a phys. Ed. Class.
116
00:04:56,365 --> 00:04:58,599
Which means...
117
00:04:58,667 --> 00:05:00,701
That you all have to wear
the proper equipment...
118
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:01,835
At all times!
119
00:05:01,903 --> 00:05:02,869
So suit up.
120
00:05:02,937 --> 00:05:06,205
See you back on the felt in five.
121
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,374
You're gonna look like an ass in those.
122
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,409
Shut up, leonard.
123
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,111
I talked to your son on family day.
124
00:05:13,178 --> 00:05:14,845
I know all about your gambling.
125
00:05:16,281 --> 00:05:17,881
Touche.
126
00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:20,784
All right, everybody just hang out...
127
00:05:20,851 --> 00:05:22,418
And be casual.
128
00:05:22,486 --> 00:05:24,253
My sources tell me that jenny adams...
129
00:05:24,321 --> 00:05:26,322
Is the blonde who's
reading right over there.
130
00:05:27,557 --> 00:05:30,959
Whoa! That's her?
She's pretty!
131
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:33,561
Wh-which is not a surprise at all, abed.
132
00:05:33,629 --> 00:05:36,597
Okay, abed, we're gonna
be here for moral support.
133
00:05:36,665 --> 00:05:38,165
Just go over there and do your thing.
134
00:05:38,233 --> 00:05:39,266
- Okay.
- Remember, be yourself.
135
00:05:39,334 --> 00:05:40,267
- Got it.
- Great.
136
00:05:40,335 --> 00:05:41,968
Cool.
137
00:05:49,043 --> 00:05:50,343
- Abed...
- Yeah?
138
00:05:50,411 --> 00:05:52,077
- What are you doing?
- I'm being myself.
139
00:05:52,145 --> 00:05:53,879
Go be yourself by jenny.
140
00:05:56,382 --> 00:05:57,582
But I wouldn't go over there.
141
00:05:57,650 --> 00:05:58,750
How do you know that?
142
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,084
A lifetime of observation, mostly.
143
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:02,186
Well, do you think there's
a version of yourself...
144
00:06:02,254 --> 00:06:03,287
That might go over there?
145
00:06:03,355 --> 00:06:04,555
Absolutely.
146
00:06:04,623 --> 00:06:05,589
Could you be him?
147
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:06,657
Okay.
148
00:06:10,462 --> 00:06:11,762
Oh! Oh...
149
00:06:17,234 --> 00:06:19,669
What the hell was that?
A different version of me.
150
00:06:19,736 --> 00:06:21,470
I think it was a vampire.
151
00:06:21,538 --> 00:06:24,973
All right, if this is gonna turn ugly,
I can't be here-- I'm a two-striker.
152
00:06:25,041 --> 00:06:26,007
No, pierce, please.
153
00:06:26,075 --> 00:06:27,041
Hang on.
154
00:06:27,076 --> 00:06:29,043
Abed, will you excuse us, please?
155
00:06:31,579 --> 00:06:33,680
Look, I know that we're all good people,
156
00:06:33,748 --> 00:06:35,982
And good people believe that
people should be themselves.
157
00:06:36,050 --> 00:06:38,150
But if abed is himself,
he's gonna die alone.
158
00:06:38,218 --> 00:06:40,552
And if we let him be someone
else without our help--
159
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:45,390
Be right back.
I'm out of here.
160
00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:25,402
- You're not in uniform.
- Yeah, about that.
161
00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:28,371
We seriously have to
wear shorts to play pool?
162
00:07:28,438 --> 00:07:32,608
- If you play in this class, it's regulation.
- Regulation pool or regulation you?
163
00:07:32,675 --> 00:07:35,377
Do you have something
against playing pool...
164
00:07:35,444 --> 00:07:38,045
With a full range of
motion and optimal comfort?
165
00:07:38,113 --> 00:07:39,713
I'm comfortable in my own clothes.
166
00:07:39,781 --> 00:07:41,782
- I bet you are.
- I'm sorry?
167
00:07:41,849 --> 00:07:44,917
I said, I bet you're comfortable...
168
00:07:44,985 --> 00:07:47,219
Dressed like a model instead of an athlete,
169
00:07:47,287 --> 00:07:49,221
Sippin' martinis and smokin'...
170
00:07:49,288 --> 00:07:50,789
Instead of keeping your game on the table!
171
00:07:50,856 --> 00:07:52,090
Hey, listen, man.
172
00:07:52,158 --> 00:07:53,891
You're implying I'm some
sort of pool poser...
173
00:07:53,959 --> 00:07:56,393
Because I don't want to wear a bathing suit.
174
00:07:56,461 --> 00:07:58,328
You're the weird one.
175
00:07:58,396 --> 00:08:00,863
That's weird. Not me.
176
00:08:00,931 --> 00:08:02,298
Nobody plays pool like that.
177
00:08:02,365 --> 00:08:04,666
Yeah, well, what do you call this?
178
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,835
I call that your personal business, okay?
179
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,036
And I call this class...
180
00:08:08,104 --> 00:08:10,638
The desecration of america's coolest sport.
181
00:08:10,706 --> 00:08:11,772
Yeah, ah, see?
182
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,440
Right there. Ah! "coolest sport"!
183
00:08:13,508 --> 00:08:17,177
Okay, I want everybody to
know what's going on here.
184
00:08:17,244 --> 00:08:20,746
This hipster is dropping this class.
185
00:08:20,814 --> 00:08:23,415
Because he cares more about
what he looks like...
186
00:08:23,483 --> 00:08:24,549
Than how he's playing.
187
00:08:24,617 --> 00:08:26,017
Oh, please.
188
00:08:26,085 --> 00:08:28,586
You're the one with the rules about clothes.
189
00:08:28,653 --> 00:08:30,754
And, by the way, I could kick your ass...
190
00:08:30,822 --> 00:08:32,088
All over that table.
191
00:08:32,156 --> 00:08:33,957
Oh, is that a challenge?
192
00:08:34,025 --> 00:08:36,826
Huh? Because if you play me in pool,
193
00:08:36,894 --> 00:08:38,427
You play me in shorts!
194
00:08:38,495 --> 00:08:40,029
And if you can't do that,
195
00:08:40,096 --> 00:08:43,598
Well, my point's already made.
196
00:08:43,666 --> 00:08:46,901
- I-I-I don't have anything to prove to you.
197
00:08:48,503 --> 00:08:50,037
You're stupid.
198
00:08:50,105 --> 00:08:51,472
This is stupid!
199
00:08:51,540 --> 00:08:55,142
Pool in shorts is stupid!
200
00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:58,012
Vanity, thy name is...
201
00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,580
His name.
202
00:08:59,648 --> 00:09:01,915
It's the first day. I didn't catch it.
203
00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:03,317
Okay, abed.
204
00:09:03,385 --> 00:09:04,852
We know that, normally,
you wouldn't approach a girl,
205
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,254
But if you don't learn how,
you won't get jenny.
206
00:09:07,322 --> 00:09:08,622
Yeah, and you got two days.
207
00:09:08,690 --> 00:09:10,457
- Then I'm going after her.
- Oh! Pierce.
208
00:09:10,525 --> 00:09:12,159
What? I'm incentivizing him.
209
00:09:12,227 --> 00:09:14,428
Also, if she's into abed, let's face it.
210
00:09:14,496 --> 00:09:15,629
Anybody could hit that.
211
00:09:15,697 --> 00:09:16,964
I understand--I need to change who I am...
212
00:09:17,032 --> 00:09:18,299
To someone more likable.
213
00:09:18,367 --> 00:09:20,100
No, no, no, no, sweetie.
It's not about changing.
214
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,635
It's about learning.
215
00:09:21,703 --> 00:09:22,703
Learning to change?
216
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:23,703
- No--
- no, it's--
217
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:24,704
Good grief!
218
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:25,906
Clear the chickens off the runway.
219
00:09:25,973 --> 00:09:27,141
I'll be the bad guy.
220
00:09:27,209 --> 00:09:29,910
Yes, abed, you need to be someone else.
221
00:09:29,977 --> 00:09:31,711
Someone who eventually gets a girlfriend.
222
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,847
Because I can't think of
anything more frightening...
223
00:09:33,914 --> 00:09:38,750
Than a half-polish,
half-arab virgin in his 30s.
224
00:09:38,818 --> 00:09:39,851
One way or the other,
225
00:09:39,919 --> 00:09:42,620
That story ends with an explosion.
226
00:09:42,687 --> 00:09:43,720
Let's try a practice run.
227
00:09:43,788 --> 00:09:46,222
All right, annie, you sit here, okay?
228
00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:47,524
And be a girl.
229
00:09:47,592 --> 00:09:49,060
Abed, you take a run at her.
230
00:09:49,127 --> 00:09:50,661
Let's see what you got.
231
00:09:50,729 --> 00:09:52,229
Okay.
232
00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:57,699
Hmm.
233
00:09:57,767 --> 00:10:00,334
What are you reading?
234
00:10:00,402 --> 00:10:01,768
i>- Pride and prejudice.
235
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:08,239
So you're familiar with two sins.
236
00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,440
How about a third?
237
00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:11,275
Oh!
238
00:10:15,913 --> 00:10:19,714
I don't think we're
allowed to smoke in here.
239
00:10:19,782 --> 00:10:21,516
Then you picked the wrong outfit.
240
00:10:23,653 --> 00:10:24,920
Didn't you?
241
00:10:27,657 --> 00:10:29,226
Abed, what are you doing?
242
00:10:29,294 --> 00:10:30,728
i>- Don draper from mad men. What'd you
think?
243
00:10:30,795 --> 00:10:31,728
- Weird.
- Awesome.
244
00:10:31,796 --> 00:10:32,729
Put your tongue in her ear.
245
00:10:32,797 --> 00:10:33,763
I liked it.
246
00:10:33,831 --> 00:10:34,898
Don't be him.
247
00:10:34,965 --> 00:10:36,466
He cheats on his wife.
248
00:10:36,534 --> 00:10:37,935
Be somebody nice, like mike brady.
249
00:10:38,003 --> 00:10:40,137
He always had that housekeeper
throwing herself at him,
250
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,540
And he never made a move on her.
251
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,843
Don't be mike brady.
Mike brady's not sexy.
252
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,977
You should be like jo
from facts of life.
253
00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:49,346
But, you know, the dude version.
254
00:10:49,414 --> 00:10:50,447
I knew it.
255
00:10:50,515 --> 00:10:52,015
You should be like calvin.
256
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:53,283
His best friend was a tiger.
257
00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:54,685
He always went on dope adventures.
258
00:10:54,753 --> 00:10:56,388
If anything stood in his way,
he just peed on it.
259
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,890
Calvin coolidge?
260
00:10:57,957 --> 00:11:00,426
No, you guys, don draper
was clearly the sexiest.
261
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:06,131
What are you guys doing?
262
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,899
They're teaching me
how to be someone else.
263
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:11,937
Oh, for god's sake.
What did I tell you guys?
264
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,339
Oh, for god's sakes, everybody,
do whatever you want!
265
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,674
Leave each other alone!
266
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:17,409
Whoa! That's a good jeff.
267
00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:18,677
How'd you do that?
268
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:20,845
10% dick van dyke, 20% sam malone,
269
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:22,280
40% zach braff from scrubs,
270
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,149
And 30% hilary swank in
boys don't cry.
271
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:26,317
- Zach braff?
- Sorry.
272
00:11:26,385 --> 00:11:28,286
Abed, what if you just did jeff for jenny?
273
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,321
Uh, and your point is?
274
00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:33,291
Look, I don't want any part of this.
275
00:11:33,358 --> 00:11:35,960
And I can't believe that
you're still doing it...
276
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,829
After I already explained
the obvious lessons,
277
00:11:38,897 --> 00:11:40,197
Smacking you in the face.
278
00:11:40,265 --> 00:11:41,766
Hey, why aren't you in billiards class?
279
00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:43,701
Because I don't look cool in shorts!
280
00:11:43,769 --> 00:11:45,369
Oh!
281
00:11:45,437 --> 00:11:46,971
- Whoa.
- Okay.
282
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,507
'cause I'm not cool in shorts!
283
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:50,641
that was good.
284
00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:52,343
- Just like him.
- That was really good.
285
00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:57,882
I don't want to spoil
the ending, but, uh...
286
00:11:57,950 --> 00:11:58,983
Pride ends up with prejudice.
287
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,818
that's funny.
288
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:03,320
I know. Stick with me,
and you'll get a laugh or two.
289
00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:05,189
That's the abed guarantee.
290
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:12,062
I feel like I've seen you before.
291
00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:13,864
- It's working.
- I know.
292
00:12:13,932 --> 00:12:15,933
I get that a lot, from art students.
293
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,335
I'm told I have a face made for sketching.
294
00:12:18,403 --> 00:12:20,704
I'd rather think it was made for kissing.
295
00:12:21,739 --> 00:12:23,240
How 'bout for punching?
296
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:24,841
Huh?
297
00:12:26,744 --> 00:12:29,746
What are you doing hitting
on my girlfriend, ugly?
298
00:12:29,814 --> 00:12:31,881
This is awkward.
299
00:12:31,949 --> 00:12:33,516
Oh, my god.
300
00:12:33,584 --> 00:12:35,318
It's a white abed.
301
00:12:35,386 --> 00:12:37,854
- I-I-I--it's like abed, but employable.
302
00:12:37,922 --> 00:12:41,000
- Let's do this, huh, boss?
- Let's go, slumdog.
303
00:12:45,135 --> 00:12:46,535
And one last lost and found announcement,
304
00:12:46,603 --> 00:12:49,104
Jeff winger, I've been
informed by coach bogner...
305
00:12:49,172 --> 00:12:51,306
That you left your panties
in his pool class.
306
00:12:51,374 --> 00:12:53,708
So better pick those up.
307
00:12:53,776 --> 00:12:58,413
When is he gonna stop doing that?
Do you know that he called me a hipster?
308
00:12:58,480 --> 00:12:59,413
Hipster!
309
00:12:59,481 --> 00:13:03,650
I mean, do hipsters walk around...
Wearing $300 jeans from Italy?
310
00:13:03,718 --> 00:13:05,318
Can we please talk about abed?
311
00:13:05,386 --> 00:13:07,120
Thanks to us, his heart's been broken.
312
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,422
Well, I hate to say that I told you so.
313
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,956
So I'll shout it through cupped hands.
314
00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:13,090
I told you so!
315
00:13:13,158 --> 00:13:14,525
We were only trying to help.
316
00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:16,159
Oh, come on. Who are we kidding?
317
00:13:16,227 --> 00:13:17,794
Jeff's right-- abed was happy being abed,
318
00:13:17,862 --> 00:13:21,096
Till we had to sully his
mind with thoughts of love...
319
00:13:21,164 --> 00:13:23,531
And romance...And vaginas.
320
00:13:23,599 --> 00:13:25,366
Those are the big three.
That's what they call them.
321
00:13:25,433 --> 00:13:27,801
Poor abed, he's probably too sad...
322
00:13:27,869 --> 00:13:29,136
To get out of bed this morning.
323
00:13:29,204 --> 00:13:30,136
Hi.
324
00:13:30,204 --> 00:13:31,670
Abed.
325
00:13:31,738 --> 00:13:32,704
About yesterday--
326
00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:33,704
Oh, yeah.
327
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:34,671
You guys must be pretty upset.
328
00:13:34,739 --> 00:13:36,306
i>- Why would we be upset?
329
00:13:36,374 --> 00:13:37,540
Well, I know how
important it was for you...
330
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:38,908
That I get a girlfriend.
331
00:13:38,976 --> 00:13:40,543
So when jenny went off with white abed,
332
00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:41,610
It must have really hurt.
333
00:13:41,678 --> 00:13:44,813
- Ah, it did.
- White abed?
334
00:13:44,882 --> 00:13:46,149
Jenny's boyfriend is a white guy...
335
00:13:46,217 --> 00:13:47,784
That's almost identical to abed.
336
00:13:47,852 --> 00:13:49,985
Name is joey, and that's why
the sketch was in troy's book.
337
00:13:50,053 --> 00:13:52,356
So does that make abed "brown joey"?
338
00:13:52,424 --> 00:13:53,725
If you want to get racist about it.
339
00:13:53,793 --> 00:13:55,794
Abed, you know we just want you...
340
00:13:55,861 --> 00:13:56,961
To be happy, right?
341
00:13:57,029 --> 00:13:58,596
Yeah, I know.
Everybody wants me to be happy.
342
00:13:58,664 --> 00:13:59,997
Everybody wants to help me.
343
00:14:00,064 --> 00:14:01,532
But usually, when they find out they can't,
344
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,070
They get frustrated and stop talking to me,
345
00:14:03,138 --> 00:14:04,404
Or they trick me into
buying them ice cream...
346
00:14:04,472 --> 00:14:05,873
And then shove me into a clothes dryer.
347
00:14:05,941 --> 00:14:07,709
Which I didn't want to happen with you guys,
348
00:14:07,777 --> 00:14:09,878
So I wanted to make sure that
you felt like you could help me.
349
00:14:09,945 --> 00:14:12,413
The truth is, lots of girls like me,
350
00:14:12,481 --> 00:14:14,849
Because, let's face it, I'm pretty adorable.
351
00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:16,550
And my aloofness
unconsciously reminds them...
352
00:14:16,618 --> 00:14:18,018
Of their fathers, so...
353
00:14:18,085 --> 00:14:21,020
I'm more used to them approaching me.
354
00:14:21,088 --> 00:14:23,389
So we didn't damage your sel
f-esteem or anything?
355
00:14:23,456 --> 00:14:26,758
Britta, I got sel
f-esteem falling out of my butt.
356
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,325
That's why I was willing
to change for you guys.
357
00:14:28,393 --> 00:14:29,660
Because when you really know who you are...
358
00:14:29,727 --> 00:14:31,060
And what you like about yourself,
359
00:14:31,128 --> 00:14:33,429
Changing for other people
isn't such a big deal.
360
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,034
Abed...
361
00:14:38,102 --> 00:14:39,302
You're a god.
362
00:14:42,306 --> 00:14:44,106
If you'll all excuse me...
363
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:48,544
I have a man to beat in
pool while wearing shorts.
364
00:14:48,611 --> 00:14:49,678
nice.
365
00:14:49,746 --> 00:14:51,713
Is that code for going number one...
366
00:14:51,781 --> 00:14:52,681
Or number two?
367
00:14:52,748 --> 00:14:55,583
Abed, you've inspired me too.
368
00:14:55,650 --> 00:14:57,317
People can mock me all they want.
369
00:14:57,385 --> 00:14:59,385
I don't care how I say the word "baggel."
370
00:15:00,687 --> 00:15:02,055
"baggel."
371
00:15:02,122 --> 00:15:03,790
She said "baggel."
372
00:15:03,858 --> 00:15:06,593
- Would you like another one?
- "baggel."
373
00:15:06,661 --> 00:15:08,628
Hey, let's play some pool.
374
00:15:08,696 --> 00:15:10,496
Hey, nice cross corner, leonard.
375
00:15:10,564 --> 00:15:11,831
Totally.
376
00:15:11,899 --> 00:15:13,465
I'd like to see jeff
winger try that shot...
377
00:15:13,533 --> 00:15:15,800
Without the benefit of his stylish clothing.
378
00:15:15,868 --> 00:15:17,668
Oh, would you?
379
00:15:17,736 --> 00:15:20,770
Jeff winger.
380
00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:23,372
Shouldn't you be at a urban outfitters?
381
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,307
I'll go there later, if I feel like it.
382
00:15:25,375 --> 00:15:27,108
But first, I have to hand someone...
383
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,043
Their tightly polyester-swaddled ass...
384
00:15:29,111 --> 00:15:30,078
In a game of pool.
385
00:15:31,346 --> 00:15:32,613
Burn.
386
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,849
Now, do you want to talk
about clothes like a girl?
387
00:15:34,916 --> 00:15:36,917
Or use tapered sticks to hit balls...
388
00:15:36,985 --> 00:15:38,886
Around a cushioned table... Like a man?
389
00:15:38,954 --> 00:15:41,057
Balls, like a man.
390
00:15:41,124 --> 00:15:42,158
Rack 'em!
391
00:15:43,327 --> 00:15:44,894
I'll break.
392
00:15:44,962 --> 00:15:46,630
Why? 'cause it looks cool?
393
00:15:46,697 --> 00:15:48,969
I don't know.
394
00:15:49,037 --> 00:15:50,773
You tell me.
395
00:16:12,867 --> 00:16:13,799
Get out of the way.
396
00:16:25,143 --> 00:16:26,744
boom!
397
00:16:26,812 --> 00:16:28,012
Yeah, let me just clean...
398
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,081
This side of the table off here, all right?
399
00:16:30,149 --> 00:16:31,983
Okay, there you go. See that? There you go.
400
00:16:32,051 --> 00:16:34,352
Oh, yeah. Yeah, what do you think of that?
401
00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:36,387
See, you haven't learned anything!
402
00:16:36,455 --> 00:16:39,023
Except how to look cool
playing pool in shorts!
403
00:16:39,090 --> 00:16:40,257
You're wrong, man.
404
00:16:40,325 --> 00:16:41,692
I'm just having a good time...
405
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,427
Because I love playin' pool.
406
00:16:43,495 --> 00:16:45,096
Liar!
407
00:16:45,163 --> 00:16:47,365
You think you look cool.
408
00:16:47,432 --> 00:16:48,833
Yeah?
409
00:16:48,901 --> 00:16:51,735
Well, how cool is this?
410
00:16:53,438 --> 00:16:55,439
Oh!
411
00:16:55,506 --> 00:16:58,342
Stop projecting your obsession
with clothes onto me...
412
00:16:58,410 --> 00:17:01,645
As an excuse for when I
beat you in a game...
413
00:17:01,713 --> 00:17:02,946
Of real pool!
414
00:17:03,014 --> 00:17:05,249
Oh, you wanna play real pool, huh?
415
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,952
I'll play real pool.
416
00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:10,787
Now who doesn't care how they look?
417
00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:12,989
Me!
418
00:17:13,057 --> 00:17:14,024
Shouldn't you be stopping this?
419
00:17:14,092 --> 00:17:15,326
Soon, soon.
420
00:17:15,393 --> 00:17:16,627
Just...Gathering evidence.
421
00:17:24,803 --> 00:17:26,136
Three to one against winger. Who's on?
422
00:17:32,111 --> 00:17:33,445
Tres.
423
00:17:35,581 --> 00:17:36,815
- Yes!
- Oh, god!
424
00:17:52,895 --> 00:17:54,930
i>- You know what, jeff?
425
00:17:54,997 --> 00:17:57,666
One of us is about to win this game.
426
00:17:59,135 --> 00:18:02,237
But years from now, when the story's retold,
427
00:18:02,305 --> 00:18:05,005
All they're gonna remember...
428
00:18:05,073 --> 00:18:08,075
Is one of us loved clothes.
429
00:18:08,142 --> 00:18:10,844
And the other loved...
430
00:18:10,911 --> 00:18:11,878
The game.
431
00:19:19,335 --> 00:19:21,402
Look at me. Look at me!
432
00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:22,870
You beat me.
433
00:19:22,937 --> 00:19:26,573
From now on, you play pool
dressed however you choose.
434
00:19:26,641 --> 00:19:29,475
I choose shorts.
435
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,277
I choose shorts!
436
00:19:31,345 --> 00:19:33,312
Shorts!
437
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,814
you son of a bitch.
438
00:19:35,882 --> 00:19:38,449
You magnificent son of a bitch!
439
00:19:44,122 --> 00:19:45,088
Yay!
440
00:19:45,156 --> 00:19:46,257
That was awesome.
441
00:19:46,324 --> 00:19:47,358
Let me get in here.
442
00:19:47,426 --> 00:19:48,826
Oh! Okay, you're sweaty.
443
00:19:48,894 --> 00:19:49,927
All right, all right.
444
00:19:53,831 --> 00:19:56,164
Nice game.
445
00:19:56,232 --> 00:19:57,365
Thanks.
446
00:19:57,432 --> 00:19:59,199
- Look, I-I hope this doesn't...
447
00:19:59,267 --> 00:20:01,635
Sound too... Forward, but, um...
448
00:20:01,703 --> 00:20:05,038
Could you introduce me to your friend?
449
00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:12,110
You know what?
450
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,012
I-I know that guy's m.O.,
451
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,614
And I think it's better
if you introduce yourself.
452
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,083
Okay.
453
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,620
- Hi.
- Hi.
454
00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:23,822
- Courtney.
- Abed.
455
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,824
Ooh.
456
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:30,662
Man...Why couldn't I be brown joey?
457
00:20:30,959 --> 00:20:36,806
Sync By YesCool
Resync by Pippo Inzaghi