1
00:00:05,516 --> 00:00:07,711
Good morning, everybody.
Hi, Jeff.
2
00:00:07,918 --> 00:00:10,352
I brought bagels.
Oh, I'd love a bagel.
3
00:00:10,554 --> 00:00:14,046
The perfect beginning
for my first day of billiards class.
4
00:00:14,258 --> 00:00:17,989
Oh. Did you pick a special outfit so
you could look sexy shooting pool?
5
00:00:18,195 --> 00:00:20,629
Shirley, I have no idea
what you are talking about.
6
00:00:20,831 --> 00:00:22,560
Oh. Oh.
7
00:00:22,766 --> 00:00:26,031
Thirteen.
Oh, great, so much for "baggles."
8
00:00:26,370 --> 00:00:27,394
So much for what?
9
00:00:27,604 --> 00:00:29,868
The "baggles."
You dropped them on the floor.
10
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:32,234
Uh, they're called "bay-gels."
11
00:00:32,543 --> 00:00:35,307
Uh, I lived in New York, Troy.
I know what a "baggle" is.
12
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,007
What the hell is wrong with you?
What?
13
00:00:39,216 --> 00:00:40,205
You say "bagel" wrong.
14
00:00:40,417 --> 00:00:41,748
I say it the same as you.
15
00:00:42,219 --> 00:00:44,016
Say it again.
16
00:00:44,988 --> 00:00:46,319
"Baggle."
17
00:00:48,225 --> 00:00:51,353
Can we just keep studying?
We're on page 258.
18
00:00:52,362 --> 00:00:55,729
What "padge" was that?
Two-five-tee-eight. Heh.
19
00:00:56,233 --> 00:00:59,202
Whoa. Check this out.
Uh-oh.
20
00:00:59,570 --> 00:01:03,939
Oh, it's a drawing of Abed
with hearts all around it.
21
00:01:04,141 --> 00:01:06,871
Strictly speaking, Troy, the Bible
condemns this level of friendship.
22
00:01:07,077 --> 00:01:08,135
I didn't draw that.
23
00:01:08,345 --> 00:01:10,836
I bought that used.
Must have been whoever had it last.
24
00:01:11,281 --> 00:01:14,079
Obviously, it's a girl
who has a crush on Abed.
25
00:01:14,284 --> 00:01:15,546
This is so romantic.
26
00:01:15,752 --> 00:01:18,050
It's just like The Notebook, except
instead of Alzheimer's, Abed has...
27
00:01:18,255 --> 00:01:21,224
Ahem. Mm-hm.
Someone who likes him.
28
00:01:21,425 --> 00:01:22,915
Well, whoever she is, she's fat.
29
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,219
These thick pencil lines
were drawn with a heavy hand.
30
00:01:25,429 --> 00:01:27,021
We gotta find this person for Abed.
31
00:01:27,231 --> 00:01:29,290
Unless it's a boy,
then we find him for Jesus.
32
00:01:29,499 --> 00:01:31,433
But either way,
this is going to be fun.
33
00:01:33,303 --> 00:01:34,270
Cute little face.
34
00:01:44,348 --> 00:01:46,043
THEN CLASS REPEATING]
35
00:01:48,452 --> 00:01:52,445
THEN CLASS REPEATING]
36
00:01:52,656 --> 00:01:55,352
Guys, class is over.
37
00:01:55,559 --> 00:01:56,992
I'm trying to get you to leave.
38
00:01:57,194 --> 00:01:58,320
Oh.
39
00:01:58,528 --> 00:02:00,223
Let's go.
40
00:02:00,430 --> 00:02:03,058
Pick that up.
Señor Chang?
41
00:02:03,467 --> 00:02:07,665
We're trying to figure out whose
Spanish book this was before Troy's.
44
00:02:20,117 --> 00:02:22,847
you would have started using
birth control centuries ago.
45
00:02:23,053 --> 00:02:25,317
Her name's in the front
of the book, morons.
46
00:02:25,555 --> 00:02:27,250
Yay. He's right.
47
00:02:27,691 --> 00:02:30,125
Them I understand.
But how did you not think of that?
48
00:02:30,927 --> 00:02:34,260
I may have been thrown off by Britta's
pronunciation of the word "bagel."
49
00:02:34,464 --> 00:02:35,692
How do you pronounce bagel?
I don't.
50
00:02:35,899 --> 00:02:37,628
Come on. Ugh.
"Baggle."
51
00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:39,096
You're the worst.
52
00:02:39,569 --> 00:02:41,833
So we have a name.
53
00:02:42,039 --> 00:02:44,269
Jenny Adams.
Cool.
54
00:02:44,474 --> 00:02:47,102
See, it's a fat girl's name.
Might as well be Gravy Jones.
55
00:02:47,311 --> 00:02:49,370
Pierce, it doesn't matter
what she looks like.
56
00:02:49,579 --> 00:02:52,639
This will be great for Abed.
It will?
57
00:02:52,849 --> 00:02:54,510
Aren't you excited
about talking to her?
58
00:02:54,718 --> 00:02:56,310
I wasn't planning on it.
What?
59
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,353
Guys, come on, you heard Abed.
He's not interested. Drop it.
60
00:02:59,556 --> 00:03:00,853
Jeff, you need to mind
your own business.
61
00:03:01,058 --> 00:03:04,255
Abed, you need to get with this girl,
immediately, if not sooner.
62
00:03:04,461 --> 00:03:06,326
Yeah?
Abed, for guys like you,
63
00:03:06,530 --> 00:03:10,022
this kind of opportunity
only comes around once in a life...
64
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,222
While.
65
00:03:11,435 --> 00:03:13,494
It's important to date
in college, Abed.
66
00:03:13,704 --> 00:03:16,400
It's a time of freedom
and exploration.
67
00:03:16,606 --> 00:03:19,166
A time when a simple pillow fight
between two innocent girls
68
00:03:19,376 --> 00:03:22,743
could turn to a steamy night
of unbridled lust.
69
00:03:24,681 --> 00:03:26,080
Britta knows all about it.
70
00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:29,080
Okay. Cool. So you guys are gonna
Can't Buy Me Love me, right?
71
00:03:29,286 --> 00:03:31,311
We're gonna what you?
You're gonna Can't Buy Me Love me.
72
00:03:31,521 --> 00:03:34,012
You know, transform me
from zero to hero, geek to chic.
73
00:03:34,224 --> 00:03:36,317
Oh, he wants us to
Love Don't Cost a Thing him.
74
00:03:36,526 --> 00:03:37,891
Oh.
Can't Buy Me Love
75
00:03:38,095 --> 00:03:39,187
was the remake
for white audiences.
76
00:03:39,396 --> 00:03:40,988
That's so uncomfortable
when they do that.
77
00:03:41,198 --> 00:03:43,666
I can't believe it doesn't
insult them.
78
00:03:44,201 --> 00:03:47,193
All right, nobody here
is Can't Buy Me Love-ing
79
00:03:47,404 --> 00:03:49,338
or Love Don't Cost a Thing-ing
anyone.
80
00:03:49,539 --> 00:03:52,269
Because we've all seen enough
after-school specials
81
00:03:52,676 --> 00:03:54,371
and Fat Albert to know
Oh.
82
00:03:54,578 --> 00:03:57,672
That Abed only needs
to be himself.
83
00:03:59,449 --> 00:04:01,178
Sure glad
there are no old people here.
84
00:04:01,385 --> 00:04:04,877
This conversation would probably
be total gibberish to them.
85
00:04:05,088 --> 00:04:07,249
Jeff's unprecedentedly right
about this.
86
00:04:07,457 --> 00:04:09,925
Abed, when we find this girl,
you're gonna approach her
87
00:04:10,127 --> 00:04:12,095
just the way you are.
Because that's good enough.
88
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:16,527
Yeah. Then you can take her to a nice
deli and treat her to a "baggle."
89
00:04:28,912 --> 00:04:30,345
Oh, yeah.
90
00:04:32,682 --> 00:04:34,445
Oh, yeah.
91
00:04:39,923 --> 00:04:41,982
Hey, nice shooting.
Good clean strokes.
92
00:04:42,392 --> 00:04:45,293
Thanks.
Form a line, please.
93
00:04:45,929 --> 00:04:49,695
My name is Coach Bogner.
94
00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:53,961
Welcome to the Art of Pool,
95
00:04:54,171 --> 00:04:56,139
which is a phys ed class.
96
00:04:56,339 --> 00:05:01,299
Which means that you all have to wear
the proper equipment at all times.
97
00:05:01,511 --> 00:05:04,480
So suit up.
See you back on the felt in 5.
98
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:09,250
Heh. You're gonna look
like an ass in those.
99
00:05:10,020 --> 00:05:11,009
Shut up, Leonard.
100
00:05:11,221 --> 00:05:14,679
I talked to your son on Family Day.
I know all about your gambling.
101
00:05:16,426 --> 00:05:17,688
Touché.
102
00:05:19,396 --> 00:05:22,160
All right, everybody just hang out
and be casual.
103
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,765
My sources tell me
that Jenny Adams is the blonde
104
00:05:24,968 --> 00:05:27,061
who's reading right over there.
105
00:05:27,537 --> 00:05:30,938
Whoa! That's her? She's pretty.
106
00:05:31,141 --> 00:05:33,439
Which is not a surprise at all, Abed.
107
00:05:33,977 --> 00:05:36,275
Okay, Abed, we're gonna be here
for moral support.
108
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,038
Just go over there, do your thing.
109
00:05:38,248 --> 00:05:39,237
Okay.
Remember, be yourself.
110
00:05:39,449 --> 00:05:41,280
Got it. Cool.
Great.
111
00:05:49,226 --> 00:05:50,215
Abed.
Yeah?
112
00:05:50,427 --> 00:05:52,418
What are you doing?
I'm being myself.
113
00:05:52,629 --> 00:05:54,859
Go be yourself by Jenny.
114
00:05:56,466 --> 00:05:58,627
But I wouldn't go over there.
How do you know that?
115
00:05:58,835 --> 00:05:59,961
A lifetime of observation mostly.
116
00:06:00,170 --> 00:06:03,606
Well, do you think there's a version
of yourself that might go over there?
117
00:06:03,807 --> 00:06:05,741
Absolutely.
Could you be him?
118
00:06:05,942 --> 00:06:07,341
Okay.
119
00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:11,808
Oh.
120
00:06:17,254 --> 00:06:18,312
What the hell was that?
121
00:06:18,522 --> 00:06:21,047
A different version of me.
I think he was a vampire.
122
00:06:21,258 --> 00:06:24,853
All right. If this is gonna turn ugly,
I can't be here. I'm a two-striker.
123
00:06:25,061 --> 00:06:26,858
No, Pierce, please, hang on.
124
00:06:27,063 --> 00:06:29,930
Abed, will you excuse us, please?
Yeah.
125
00:06:31,601 --> 00:06:33,432
Look, I know that
we're all good people.
126
00:06:33,637 --> 00:06:36,003
And good people believe
that people should be themselves.
127
00:06:36,206 --> 00:06:38,436
But if Abed is himself,
he's gonna die alone.
128
00:06:38,642 --> 00:06:40,234
And if we let him be someone else...
129
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:41,432
Be right back.
130
00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:45,807
I'm out of here.
131
00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:59,288
Oh, my God, there's
a midget on stilts.
132
00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:25,450
You're not in uniform.
Yeah, about that.
133
00:07:25,655 --> 00:07:28,249
We seriously have to wear shorts
to play pool?
134
00:07:28,458 --> 00:07:30,392
If you play in this class.
It's regulation.
135
00:07:30,594 --> 00:07:32,494
Regulation pool or regulation you?
136
00:07:32,996 --> 00:07:35,123
Do you have something
against playing pool
137
00:07:35,332 --> 00:07:37,926
with a full range of motion
and optimal comfort?
138
00:07:38,134 --> 00:07:40,500
I'm comfortable in my own clothes.
I bet you are.
139
00:07:41,171 --> 00:07:42,900
I'm sorry?
I said
140
00:07:43,106 --> 00:07:47,065
I bet you're comfortable dressed
like a model instead of an athlete,
141
00:07:47,277 --> 00:07:50,678
sipping martinis, smoking, instead
of keeping your game on the table.
142
00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,576
Hey, listen, man, you're implying
I'm some sort of pool poser
143
00:07:53,783 --> 00:07:56,274
because I don't wanna wear
a bathing suit.
144
00:07:56,753 --> 00:07:58,220
You're the weird one.
145
00:07:58,421 --> 00:08:00,582
That's weird, not me.
146
00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:03,350
Nobody plays pool like that.
Yeah, what do you call this?
147
00:08:04,661 --> 00:08:06,526
I call that
your personal business, okay?
148
00:08:06,730 --> 00:08:10,427
And I call this class the desecration
of America's coolest sport.
149
00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:13,330
Yeah. l... See, right there. Ha.
"Coolest sport."
150
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:16,835
Okay, I want everybody to know
what's going on here.
151
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,635
This hipster is dropping this class
152
00:08:20,844 --> 00:08:24,439
because he cares more about what
he looks like than how he's playing.
153
00:08:24,648 --> 00:08:25,979
Oh, please.
154
00:08:26,182 --> 00:08:28,548
You're the one with the rules
about clothes.
155
00:08:28,752 --> 00:08:31,983
And, by the way, I could kick
your ass all over that table.
156
00:08:32,188 --> 00:08:33,849
Oh, is that a challenge?
157
00:08:34,157 --> 00:08:38,184
Huh? Because if you play me in pool,
you play me in shorts.
158
00:08:38,395 --> 00:08:41,728
And if you can't do that,
well, my point's already made.
159
00:08:43,633 --> 00:08:48,002
I don't have
anything to prove to you or...
160
00:08:48,204 --> 00:08:51,367
Look, you're stupid. This is stupid.
161
00:08:51,808 --> 00:08:55,039
Pool in shorts is stupid.
162
00:08:55,245 --> 00:08:58,840
Vanity, thy name is... his name.
163
00:08:59,049 --> 00:09:01,813
Bye.
It's the first day. I didn't catch it.
164
00:09:02,018 --> 00:09:04,748
Okay, Abed, we know that, normally,
you wouldn't approach a girl.
165
00:09:04,954 --> 00:09:07,149
But if you don't learn how,
you won't get Jenny.
166
00:09:07,357 --> 00:09:09,382
Yeah and you got two days.
Then I'm going after her.
167
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:12,060
Pierce.
What, I'm incentivizing him.
168
00:09:12,262 --> 00:09:15,493
Also, if she's into Abed, let's face it,
anybody could hit that.
169
00:09:15,699 --> 00:09:18,167
I understand, I need to change who
I am to someone more likeable.
170
00:09:18,368 --> 00:09:21,496
No, no, sweetie, it's not about
changing. It's about learning.
171
00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:23,332
Learning to change?
No, it's...
172
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:27,032
Good grief, clear the chickens
off the runway. I'll be the bad guy.
173
00:09:27,243 --> 00:09:29,768
Yes, Abed,
you need to be someone else.
174
00:09:29,979 --> 00:09:31,537
Someone who, eventually,
gets a girlfriend.
175
00:09:31,748 --> 00:09:34,410
Because I can't think of anything
more frightening
176
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:38,576
than a half-Polish, half-Arab virgin
in his 30s.
177
00:09:38,788 --> 00:09:41,416
One way or the other,
that story ends with an explosion.
178
00:09:42,459 --> 00:09:43,585
Let's try a practice run.
179
00:09:43,793 --> 00:09:47,388
All right, Annie, you sit here, okay,
and be a girl.
180
00:09:47,597 --> 00:09:50,657
Abed, you take a run at her.
Let's see what you got.
181
00:09:50,967 --> 00:09:52,025
Okay.
182
00:09:56,306 --> 00:09:57,739
Hmm.
183
00:09:58,208 --> 00:09:59,835
What are you reading?
184
00:10:00,343 --> 00:10:01,571
Pride and Prejudice.
185
00:10:05,281 --> 00:10:07,977
So you're familiar with two sins.
186
00:10:08,184 --> 00:10:10,084
How about a third?
Oh.
187
00:10:15,925 --> 00:10:19,156
I don't think
we're allowed to smoke in here.
188
00:10:19,629 --> 00:10:21,324
Then you picked the wrong outfit,
189
00:10:23,733 --> 00:10:24,722
didn't you?
190
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:28,762
Abed, what are you doing?
191
00:10:28,972 --> 00:10:30,200
Don Draper from Mad Men.
192
00:10:30,406 --> 00:10:31,566
What'd you think?
Awesome.
193
00:10:31,775 --> 00:10:33,640
Put your tongue in her ear.
I liked it.
194
00:10:33,843 --> 00:10:36,107
Don't be him. He cheats on his wife.
195
00:10:36,312 --> 00:10:37,802
Be somebody nice like Mike Brady.
196
00:10:38,214 --> 00:10:41,411
He always had that housekeeper throwing herself at him.
He never made a move on her.
197
00:10:41,618 --> 00:10:43,552
Don't be Mike Brady.
Mike Brady's not sexy.
198
00:10:43,753 --> 00:10:46,779
You should be like Jo
from Facts of Life.
199
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:50,352
But you know, the dude version.
I knew it.
200
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:51,788
You should be like Calvin.
201
00:10:51,995 --> 00:10:54,395
His best friend was a tiger,
he always went on dope adventures.
202
00:10:54,597 --> 00:10:56,292
Anything stood in his way,
he just peed on it.
203
00:10:56,499 --> 00:10:58,194
Calvin Coolidge?
No, you guys.
204
00:10:58,401 --> 00:11:00,096
Don Draper
was clearly the sexiest...
205
00:11:00,303 --> 00:11:03,704
And the worst thing about
it, is like that Calvin.
206
00:11:03,907 --> 00:11:06,000
What are you guys doing?
207
00:11:06,209 --> 00:11:07,301
They're teaching me
to be someone else.
208
00:11:07,510 --> 00:11:08,636
Oh, for God's sake.
209
00:11:08,845 --> 00:11:10,676
What did I tell you guys?
210
00:11:12,015 --> 00:11:13,983
Oh, for God's sakes,
everybody, do whatever you want.
211
00:11:14,184 --> 00:11:15,549
Leave each other alone.
212
00:11:15,919 --> 00:11:18,547
Whoa, that's a good Jeff.
How'd you do that?
213
00:11:18,755 --> 00:11:20,655
Ten percent Dick
Van Dyke, 20 percent Sam Malone,
214
00:11:20,857 --> 00:11:24,020
40 percent Zach Braff in Scrubs, and 30
percent Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry.
215
00:11:24,427 --> 00:11:26,190
Zach Braff?
Sorry.
216
00:11:26,396 --> 00:11:28,159
Abed, what if you just did Jeff
for Jenny?
217
00:11:28,364 --> 00:11:30,195
Uh... And your point is?
218
00:11:31,334 --> 00:11:33,063
Look, I don't want any part of this.
219
00:11:33,269 --> 00:11:35,362
And I can't believe
tha... That you're still doing it
220
00:11:35,572 --> 00:11:40,066
after I already explained the obvious
lesson smacking you in the face.
221
00:11:40,276 --> 00:11:41,641
Hey, why aren't you
in billiards class?
222
00:11:41,845 --> 00:11:43,574
Because I don't look cool in shorts.
223
00:11:44,013 --> 00:11:45,241
Oh!
Whoa!
224
00:11:45,949 --> 00:11:49,385
Okay.
Because I'm not cool in shorts.
225
00:11:49,586 --> 00:11:52,180
Now that's good.
That was really good.
226
00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:58,822
I don't wanna spoil the ending but,
uh, pride ends up with prejudice.
227
00:11:59,996 --> 00:12:01,725
That's funny.
I know.
228
00:12:01,931 --> 00:12:05,662
Stick with me, and you get a laugh or two.
That's the Abed guarantee.
229
00:12:10,173 --> 00:12:11,902
I feel like I've seen you before.
230
00:12:12,308 --> 00:12:13,707
It's working.
I know.
231
00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:15,605
I get that a lot from art students.
232
00:12:15,812 --> 00:12:18,178
I'm told I have a face
made for sketching.
233
00:12:18,381 --> 00:12:20,508
I'd rather think
it was made for kissing.
234
00:12:21,718 --> 00:12:24,448
How about for punching, huh?
235
00:12:26,723 --> 00:12:29,590
What are you doing
hitting on my girlfriend, ugly?
236
00:12:30,994 --> 00:12:32,154
This is awkward.
237
00:12:32,362 --> 00:12:33,351
Oh, my God.
238
00:12:33,563 --> 00:12:34,962
It's a white Abed.
239
00:12:35,164 --> 00:12:37,689
I... I know. It... It's like Abed
but employable.
240
00:12:38,401 --> 00:12:41,131
Huh, boss? Let's go, Slumdog.
Oh.
241
00:12:43,575 --> 00:12:45,736
And one last Lost and
Found announcement.
242
00:12:45,944 --> 00:12:48,208
Jeff Winger, I've been informed
by Coach Bogner
243
00:12:48,413 --> 00:12:50,779
that you left your panties
in his pool class
244
00:12:50,982 --> 00:12:53,212
so better pick those up.
245
00:12:53,418 --> 00:12:55,978
When is he gonna stop doing that?
246
00:12:56,187 --> 00:12:57,916
Do you know
that he called me a hipster?
247
00:12:58,122 --> 00:13:00,590
Hipster. Do hipsters walk around
248
00:13:00,792 --> 00:13:03,124
wearing $300 jeans from Italy?
249
00:13:03,328 --> 00:13:06,593
Can we please talk about Abed?
Thanks to us, his heart's been broken.
250
00:13:06,798 --> 00:13:10,928
Well, I hate to say that I told you so,
so I'll shout it through cupped hands.
251
00:13:11,135 --> 00:13:14,036
I told you so.
We were only trying to help.
252
00:13:14,239 --> 00:13:16,173
Oh, come on, who are we kidding?
Jeff's right.
253
00:13:16,374 --> 00:13:19,172
Abed was happy being Abed
till we had to sully his mind
254
00:13:19,377 --> 00:13:23,040
with thoughts of love and romance
and vaginas.
255
00:13:23,615 --> 00:13:25,480
Those are the big three.
That's what they call them.
256
00:13:25,683 --> 00:13:28,846
Poor Abed. He was probably too sad
to get out of bed this morning.
257
00:13:29,053 --> 00:13:30,543
Hi.
Abed.
258
00:13:31,522 --> 00:13:33,012
About yesterday...
Oh, yeah.
259
00:13:33,224 --> 00:13:35,818
You guys must be pretty upset.
Why would we be upset?
260
00:13:36,027 --> 00:13:38,552
Well, I know how important
it was for you that I get a girlfriend.
261
00:13:38,763 --> 00:13:41,129
So when Jenny went off with
white Abed, it must have really hurt.
262
00:13:41,332 --> 00:13:44,324
Ah. It did.
White Abed?
263
00:13:44,535 --> 00:13:47,163
Jenny's boyfriend is a white guy
that's almost identical to Abed.
264
00:13:47,372 --> 00:13:49,499
Name is Joey and that's why
the sketch was in Troy's book.
265
00:13:49,907 --> 00:13:51,841
So does that make Abed
brown Joey?
266
00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:53,806
If you wanna get racist about it.
267
00:13:54,012 --> 00:13:56,344
Abed, you know we just want you
to be happy, right?
268
00:13:56,547 --> 00:13:59,516
Yeah, I know. Everybody wants me to be happy.
Everybody wants to help me.
269
00:13:59,717 --> 00:14:02,481
But usually when they find out they can't,
they get frustrated and stop talking to me.
270
00:14:02,687 --> 00:14:05,417
Or they trick me into buying them ice cream
and then shove me into a clothes dryer.
271
00:14:05,623 --> 00:14:07,352
Which I didn't wanna happen
with you guys
272
00:14:07,558 --> 00:14:09,423
so I wanted to make sure you felt
you could help.
273
00:14:09,627 --> 00:14:12,494
The truth is, lots of girls like me
because, let's face it,
274
00:14:12,697 --> 00:14:14,358
I'm pretty adorable.
Mm-hm.
275
00:14:14,565 --> 00:14:17,796
And, uh, my aloofness unconsciously
reminds them of their fathers, so...
276
00:14:18,002 --> 00:14:20,232
I'm more used to them
approaching me.
277
00:14:20,738 --> 00:14:22,933
So we didn't damage
your self-esteem or anything?
278
00:14:23,141 --> 00:14:24,802
Britta, I got self-esteem
falling out of my butt.
279
00:14:26,411 --> 00:14:27,810
That's why I was willing
to change for you,
280
00:14:28,012 --> 00:14:30,207
because when you really know who you
are and what you like about yourself
281
00:14:30,415 --> 00:14:33,384
changing for other people
isn't such a big deal.
282
00:14:35,687 --> 00:14:38,815
Abed, you're a god.
283
00:14:42,126 --> 00:14:43,855
If you'll all excuse me,
284
00:14:44,062 --> 00:14:47,031
I have a man to beat in pool
while wearing shorts.
285
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,198
Is that code for going number one
or number two?
286
00:14:52,403 --> 00:14:56,601
Abed, you've inspired me too.
People can mock me all they want.
287
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:58,742
I don't care how
I say the word "baggle."
288
00:15:00,611 --> 00:15:03,341
"Baggle."
She said the word "baggle."
289
00:15:06,117 --> 00:15:08,244
Okay, let's play some pool.
290
00:15:08,453 --> 00:15:10,819
Hey, nice cross corner, Leonard.
Totally. Heh-heh.
291
00:15:11,022 --> 00:15:12,990
I'd like to see Jeff Winger
try that shot
292
00:15:13,191 --> 00:15:15,284
without the benefit
of his stylish clothing.
293
00:15:15,493 --> 00:15:17,188
Oh, would you?
294
00:15:18,363 --> 00:15:19,352
Jeff Winger.
295
00:15:20,932 --> 00:15:22,900
Shouldn't you be at
a Urban Outfitters?
296
00:15:23,101 --> 00:15:26,502
I'll go there later if I feel like it.
But first I have to hand someone
297
00:15:26,704 --> 00:15:29,605
their tightly polyester-swaddled ass
in a game of pool.
298
00:15:29,807 --> 00:15:30,933
Ooh.
299
00:15:31,142 --> 00:15:32,166
Oh, burn.
300
00:15:32,377 --> 00:15:34,675
Now, do you wanna talk
about clothes like a girl?
301
00:15:34,879 --> 00:15:38,440
Or use tapered sticks to hit balls
around a cushioned table like a man?
302
00:15:38,649 --> 00:15:40,844
Balls, like a man.
Oh!
303
00:15:41,052 --> 00:15:42,349
Rack them.
304
00:15:42,887 --> 00:15:44,445
I'll break.
305
00:15:44,655 --> 00:15:46,213
Why? Because it looks cool?
306
00:15:46,424 --> 00:15:48,119
I don't know.
307
00:15:48,826 --> 00:15:50,191
You tell me.
308
00:15:52,563 --> 00:15:54,121
Yeah.
309
00:16:12,583 --> 00:16:14,312
Get out of the way.
310
00:16:24,829 --> 00:16:26,296
Shh-shh, boom.
311
00:16:26,864 --> 00:16:29,628
Yeah. Let me just clean this side of the
table off here, all right? Oh, okay.
312
00:16:29,834 --> 00:16:32,826
There you go. See that?
There you go. Oh, yeah.
313
00:16:33,037 --> 00:16:35,665
Yeah. What do you think of that?
See, you haven't learned anything.
314
00:16:35,873 --> 00:16:38,603
Except how to look cool
playing pool in shorts.
315
00:16:38,810 --> 00:16:39,799
You're wrong, man.
316
00:16:40,011 --> 00:16:42,980
I'm just having a good time
because I love playing pool.
317
00:16:43,548 --> 00:16:44,640
Liar.
318
00:16:44,849 --> 00:16:46,942
You think you look cool.
319
00:16:47,151 --> 00:16:48,243
Yeah?
320
00:16:48,453 --> 00:16:51,422
Well, how cool is this?
321
00:16:55,193 --> 00:16:59,027
Stop projecting your obsession
with clothes onto me as an excuse
322
00:16:59,230 --> 00:17:02,495
for when I beat you
in a game of real pool.
323
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,258
Oh, you wanna play real pool, huh?
324
00:17:04,802 --> 00:17:06,235
Oh!
325
00:17:06,471 --> 00:17:07,802
I'll play real pool.
326
00:17:08,473 --> 00:17:10,338
Now who doesn't care
how they look?
327
00:17:10,541 --> 00:17:12,099
Me.
328
00:17:12,743 --> 00:17:14,643
Shouldn't you be stopping this?
Soon. Soon.
329
00:17:14,846 --> 00:17:17,007
Just gathering evidence.
330
00:17:24,489 --> 00:17:26,719
Three-to-one against Winger.
Who's on?
331
00:17:35,233 --> 00:17:36,325
Oh!
Oh!
332
00:17:41,239 --> 00:17:42,866
Ah!
Oh.
333
00:17:49,113 --> 00:17:50,978
Oh...
334
00:17:52,416 --> 00:17:54,816
You know what, Jeff?
335
00:17:55,152 --> 00:17:57,177
One of us is about to win this game.
336
00:17:58,623 --> 00:18:01,751
But years from now,
when the story is retold,
337
00:18:01,959 --> 00:18:04,359
all they're gonna remember
338
00:18:05,029 --> 00:18:07,520
is one of us loved clothes
339
00:18:07,732 --> 00:18:11,361
and the other loved... the game.
340
00:18:11,569 --> 00:18:12,934
Ooh.
341
00:18:14,872 --> 00:18:17,602
Aah!
342
00:18:19,277 --> 00:18:21,211
Aah!
343
00:18:21,445 --> 00:18:24,539
Aah!
344
00:18:51,175 --> 00:18:52,938
Oh...
Ooh.
345
00:18:57,014 --> 00:18:58,208
Oh!
346
00:18:58,416 --> 00:19:00,008
Ooh!
347
00:19:07,024 --> 00:19:08,457
Yeah!
348
00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:12,052
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
349
00:19:14,231 --> 00:19:16,426
Yeah! Yeah!
350
00:19:16,634 --> 00:19:18,898
Yeah! Yeah.
351
00:19:19,103 --> 00:19:21,196
You look at me. Look at me.
352
00:19:21,405 --> 00:19:22,429
You beat me.
353
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:26,132
From now on, you play pool
dressed however you choose.
354
00:19:26,811 --> 00:19:27,800
I choose shorts.
355
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:30,838
I choose shorts.
356
00:19:31,582 --> 00:19:32,571
Shorts.
357
00:19:32,783 --> 00:19:35,513
You son of a bitch.
358
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,984
You magnificent son of a bitch.
359
00:19:42,727 --> 00:19:44,661
Jeff.
360
00:19:44,862 --> 00:19:47,262
That was awesome.
Let me get in here. Oh!
361
00:19:47,465 --> 00:19:50,491
Okay, you're sweaty.
All right, all right.
362
00:19:54,472 --> 00:19:56,963
Nice game.
Thanks.
363
00:19:57,174 --> 00:20:00,007
Look, l... I hope this doesn't sound
too forward.
364
00:20:00,211 --> 00:20:04,875
But, um, could you introduce me
to your friend?
365
00:20:10,488 --> 00:20:13,184
You know what? l...
I know that guy's m.o.,
366
00:20:13,391 --> 00:20:16,189
and I think it's better
if you introduce yourself.
367
00:20:16,394 --> 00:20:18,123
Okay.
368
00:20:20,865 --> 00:20:21,957
Hi.
Hi.
369
00:20:22,166 --> 00:20:23,394
Courtney.
Abed.
370
00:20:26,837 --> 00:20:30,273
Man, why couldn't I be Brown Joey?
371
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,304
Tsk.
372
00:20:38,322 --> 00:20:39,414
Hey, Abed.
Hey Troy.
373
00:20:39,623 --> 00:20:41,420
Here's the book I borrowed.
Thank you.
374
00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:44,617
Did you finally get your own book?
Something like that.
375
00:20:46,563 --> 00:20:47,757
Wait a second.
376
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:53,731
It's okay. Let's have cookies.
377
00:20:53,938 --> 00:20:55,405
Okay.
378
00:20:59,944 --> 00:21:01,411
Mm. Mm.
Mm. Mm.
379
00:21:03,213 --> 00:21:05,613
My cousin's funeral was today.
Oh, was that... That was today?
380
00:21:05,816 --> 00:21:08,250
I knew there was some reason
I couldn't do this today.
381
00:21:08,452 --> 00:21:10,147
Poor Demitri.