1
00:00:03,202 --> 00:00:05,170
Hey. Haven't seen you all day.
2
00:00:05,237 --> 00:00:06,604
I've been really busy.
3
00:00:06,672 --> 00:00:08,573
Plus I had to find, like,
30 extra chairs for my classroom,
4
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:09,807
Since it's family day.
5
00:00:09,875 --> 00:00:11,434
Oh, speaking of,
I was going to invite my mom
6
00:00:11,501 --> 00:00:12,663
So you could meet her,
7
00:00:12,731 --> 00:00:14,213
But, uh, she still
thinks I'm a lawyer.
8
00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:15,456
oh, look!
9
00:00:15,524 --> 00:00:17,032
The human being has a
little human with it--
10
00:00:17,106 --> 00:00:18,912
How blood curdlingly adorable.
11
00:00:18,979 --> 00:00:20,522
Jeff. We need to talk.
12
00:00:20,589 --> 00:00:22,299
What's wrong?
Are you breaking up with me?
13
00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:23,536
Oh.
14
00:00:23,604 --> 00:00:26,879
Maybe we don't need to talk.
15
00:00:26,947 --> 00:00:29,387
I'm so excited for
everybody to meet my sons.
16
00:00:29,455 --> 00:00:30,690
Hope they're not twins.
Twins freak me out.
17
00:00:30,757 --> 00:00:31,859
They always know what
the other one is--
18
00:00:31,926 --> 00:00:33,196
- Thinking?
- Yeah.
19
00:00:33,264 --> 00:00:34,365
And they're always
finishing each other's--
20
00:00:34,433 --> 00:00:35,868
- Pie.
- Exactly. It's creepy.
21
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:37,806
It's gonna be nice
spending time with them.
22
00:00:37,874 --> 00:00:39,976
I don't get to see him that
much since I started school.
23
00:00:40,044 --> 00:00:42,382
My sister likes to joke that
they don't recognize me anymore,
24
00:00:42,449 --> 00:00:44,084
And I like to joke
that she's just jealous
25
00:00:44,152 --> 00:00:45,555
Because she's barren. - Mm.
26
00:00:45,622 --> 00:00:47,057
My dad's bringing my cousin abra.
27
00:00:47,124 --> 00:00:48,760
She's visiting from gaza.
28
00:00:48,827 --> 00:00:50,396
Does she look like you but
in a wig and lipstick?
29
00:00:50,463 --> 00:00:52,031
No, that's halle berry.
30
00:00:52,099 --> 00:00:53,133
Abra wears a full burka in public,
31
00:00:53,202 --> 00:00:54,369
So she just looks like someone
32
00:00:54,437 --> 00:00:55,971
Covered head to toe
in black fabric.
33
00:00:56,039 --> 00:00:57,139
Can't believe my grandma's
34
00:00:57,208 --> 00:00:58,909
Rolling her old bones down here.
35
00:00:58,977 --> 00:01:00,579
I gotta pick a cabinet to hide in.
36
00:01:00,646 --> 00:01:01,647
You hide from her?
37
00:01:01,715 --> 00:01:03,015
Yeah. She's crazy.
38
00:01:03,083 --> 00:01:04,584
Troy...
39
00:01:04,652 --> 00:01:07,121
Society programs us to
dispose of the elderly
40
00:01:07,190 --> 00:01:08,824
Because they don't
work or buy things.
41
00:01:08,891 --> 00:01:11,327
But don't be blind to
your grandmother's value.
42
00:01:11,395 --> 00:01:12,629
You need to cherish her.
43
00:01:12,696 --> 00:01:13,797
You cherish her.
44
00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:15,032
I'm sure I will.
45
00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:16,801
You know she's not gonna
be around forever.
46
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:18,370
I wanna believe
you're right, britta.
47
00:01:18,438 --> 00:01:21,040
But you never quite are, are you?
48
00:01:21,107 --> 00:01:22,442
Sorry I'm late.
49
00:01:22,510 --> 00:01:25,179
Was somebody canoodling
with a certain professor?
50
00:01:25,246 --> 00:01:28,149
Actually, no. She dumped me.
51
00:01:28,217 --> 00:01:29,618
oh, no!
52
00:01:29,685 --> 00:01:31,152
That's so sad.
53
00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:32,621
I'll give jeff a
shoulder to cry on,
54
00:01:32,689 --> 00:01:33,722
And you boys go put a dead bird
55
00:01:33,790 --> 00:01:34,890
In that bitch's glove compartment.
56
00:01:34,958 --> 00:01:36,025
- Got it.
- Guys.
57
00:01:36,093 --> 00:01:37,527
Guys, sit.
58
00:01:37,595 --> 00:01:39,530
Shirley, I don't need to cry,
I'm fine.
59
00:01:39,597 --> 00:01:42,868
Jeff, we're your friends.
Let it all out.
60
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,437
There's nothing to let out.
61
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,439
I'm just glad I didn't
have to do the dumping.
62
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,375
I mean, then I'd have to
lay low for three weeks
63
00:01:48,443 --> 00:01:50,845
To look sensitive and to
avoid questions of overlap.
64
00:01:50,913 --> 00:01:53,082
But as the dumpee...
65
00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:54,685
I can start making out with
66
00:01:54,752 --> 00:01:56,187
Every girl on campus right now.
67
00:01:56,256 --> 00:01:58,090
And all anyone will
feel for me is sorry.
68
00:01:58,158 --> 00:01:59,960
Ew! Not anymore.
69
00:02:00,028 --> 00:02:01,429
Your heart's desensitized, jeff.
70
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:04,433
Like a machine,
it feels no love--just sex.
71
00:02:04,501 --> 00:02:07,205
You're like the booty-nator.
72
00:02:07,272 --> 00:02:08,340
You know, the booty-nator--
73
00:02:08,407 --> 00:02:09,641
Like, "I'll be back,
" but with booty?
74
00:02:09,709 --> 00:02:11,511
Why would the booty-nator
be back with booty?
75
00:02:11,579 --> 00:02:12,979
Wouldn't he just try and kill it?
76
00:02:13,047 --> 00:02:15,049
Well, maybe he kills it and
then brings it back as a trophy.
77
00:02:15,117 --> 00:02:17,419
- Why would you want dead booty?
- I want pirate's booty.
78
00:02:17,486 --> 00:02:19,087
- Because you're hungry?
- Guys...
79
00:02:19,155 --> 00:02:20,723
I'll be back.
80
00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:22,758
But with booty. All: Ooh!
81
00:02:22,826 --> 00:02:23,892
- Jeff.
- Nice.
82
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,662
- That's beneath you.
- Gross.
83
00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,234
Well, you're too
gorgeous to be a teacher,
84
00:02:30,301 --> 00:02:32,499
And you're too happy
to be a student.
85
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:34,065
Take me to where
your car broke down.
86
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:35,996
I'm here for family day.
87
00:02:36,064 --> 00:02:37,994
I'm looking for my family.
88
00:02:38,062 --> 00:02:39,495
Oh, well, I'm sure
at the very least
89
00:02:39,562 --> 00:02:41,330
I can fill in for a creepy uncle.
90
00:02:41,398 --> 00:02:43,165
Jeff. - Amber.
91
00:02:43,233 --> 00:02:44,734
- There she is!
- Hey.
92
00:02:44,801 --> 00:02:46,535
Look at you, all grown up.
93
00:02:46,603 --> 00:02:48,704
Jeff, this is my
stepdaughter, amber.
94
00:02:48,772 --> 00:02:50,239
- Small world.
- No, actually,
95
00:02:50,307 --> 00:02:51,374
It's a very big world
96
00:02:51,442 --> 00:02:53,242
With five billion
other women in it.
97
00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:55,445
good luck.
98
00:02:55,512 --> 00:02:57,580
Come on, I'll show you around.
99
00:03:04,155 --> 00:03:05,289
I'm back.
100
00:03:05,356 --> 00:03:07,224
- Without booty.
- Now I feel sorry for you.
101
00:03:07,292 --> 00:03:09,126
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
102
00:03:09,194 --> 00:03:11,762
♪ I can't count the reasons ♪
103
00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:15,934
♪ I should stay ♪
104
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,574
- Hands in the air!
- Homeland security!
105
00:03:23,642 --> 00:03:25,576
Boys, leave that man alone.
106
00:03:25,644 --> 00:03:28,646
- Orange alert!
- Sorry, they're just excited.
107
00:03:28,714 --> 00:03:30,881
You're abed's father? I'm shirley.
108
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,017
And that's elijah,
like the prophet,
109
00:03:33,084 --> 00:03:35,252
And jordan, like the
14 time nba all-star.
110
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,688
- Gubi nadir.
- Is that how you say hello?
111
00:03:37,756 --> 00:03:39,557
That's my name.
112
00:03:39,624 --> 00:03:41,158
Oh!
113
00:03:41,226 --> 00:03:43,093
I'm sorry. You're
like a black ghost.
114
00:03:43,161 --> 00:03:44,828
This is my cousin. Abra.
115
00:03:44,896 --> 00:03:46,130
Greetings.
116
00:03:48,066 --> 00:03:49,500
Over the course of seven marriages,
117
00:03:49,567 --> 00:03:51,135
I've amassed some 32 stepchildren.
118
00:03:51,202 --> 00:03:53,404
And obviously, amber's my favorite.
119
00:03:53,471 --> 00:03:56,039
Yeah, there was something
about his mass emails
120
00:03:56,107 --> 00:03:58,842
That made me certain this
would be a family reunion.
121
00:03:58,910 --> 00:04:00,944
Sure is, sweetie.
122
00:04:01,012 --> 00:04:02,946
She's going to photography school.
123
00:04:03,014 --> 00:04:05,415
- Oh, that sounds interesting.
- Keep it in your pants, winger.
124
00:04:05,483 --> 00:04:06,716
You're embarrassing yourself.
125
00:04:06,784 --> 00:04:08,752
She may be hot,
but she's my princess.
126
00:04:08,819 --> 00:04:11,654
Step-princess.
127
00:04:11,722 --> 00:04:13,856
Okay. Family day.
128
00:04:13,924 --> 00:04:15,958
Let's see what we got here.
129
00:04:16,026 --> 00:04:20,027
Wow, I can't believe
star-burns isn't a virgin.
130
00:04:20,095 --> 00:04:22,629
But judging from that
bluetooth headset, his son is.
131
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,431
Cha-ching!
132
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:27,166
Winger. Too cool for family?
133
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:29,168
Everyone here is my family.
134
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:31,870
weak.
135
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,238
Where's your family, el tigre?
136
00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:35,940
Ugh, my older brother
will be at the barbeque.
137
00:04:36,008 --> 00:04:39,643
And it's none of your business,
but I ate my twin in utero.
138
00:04:39,711 --> 00:04:40,878
Oh.
139
00:04:40,945 --> 00:04:42,679
Eh, phantom menace,
140
00:04:42,747 --> 00:04:44,380
How's the trade embargo
with the naboo?
141
00:04:44,448 --> 00:04:46,349
Anyways, ah...
142
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,350
Looks like pierce
broke the piggy bank
143
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:49,918
At the escort service this time.
144
00:04:49,986 --> 00:04:51,586
Hey! Duck sauce, that was rude.
145
00:04:51,654 --> 00:04:54,422
The call girls I frequent
are not nearly as attractive
146
00:04:54,490 --> 00:04:56,323
As my daughter.
147
00:04:56,391 --> 00:04:58,525
Stepdaughter.
148
00:04:58,593 --> 00:05:01,528
Technically ex-stepdaughter.
149
00:05:01,595 --> 00:05:04,630
You know, your mother April...
150
00:05:04,698 --> 00:05:05,865
Wanda. Her name's wanda.
151
00:05:05,932 --> 00:05:07,132
Was it wanda? Yes.
152
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,267
Hold on one second. Excuse me.
153
00:05:09,335 --> 00:05:11,636
Jeff, jeffrey.
154
00:05:11,704 --> 00:05:13,671
The cards are on the table, jeff.
155
00:05:13,739 --> 00:05:16,306
Amber's the best
shot I'll ever have
156
00:05:16,374 --> 00:05:18,709
At something like a real daughter
157
00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,110
And I'm striking out.
158
00:05:20,177 --> 00:05:21,744
Have you told her she's
prettier than a hooker?
159
00:05:21,812 --> 00:05:24,313
If you come to the barbeque--
160
00:05:24,381 --> 00:05:26,215
And I know you'd never
think of touching her--
161
00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:29,851
Maybe you could say a couple
of cool things about me.
162
00:05:29,919 --> 00:05:33,521
You want me to wingman you
with your ex-stepdaughter?
163
00:05:33,589 --> 00:05:37,224
I'm sorry. I got a thing.
164
00:05:37,291 --> 00:05:39,292
You have a thing?
165
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,660
Yeah, and it's on the rebound.
166
00:05:40,728 --> 00:05:41,961
I'm not subjecting it to a night
167
00:05:42,029 --> 00:05:43,295
With a hot girl that I can't have.
168
00:05:43,363 --> 00:05:45,230
You can't holster it for a friend?
169
00:05:45,298 --> 00:05:47,332
Please, pierce is barely a friend,
170
00:05:47,399 --> 00:05:49,366
And he's no more related
to amber than you are,
171
00:05:49,434 --> 00:05:51,401
And he was a total jag
about shutting me down.
172
00:05:51,469 --> 00:05:53,703
- How much effort do I rate?
- For you?
173
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,871
Um, I'd break a light sweat.
174
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,372
Good, I need a favor.
175
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,240
Help pierce with his stepdaughter?
176
00:06:00,307 --> 00:06:02,908
You're becoming dangerous, annie.
177
00:06:02,976 --> 00:06:04,376
It's those doe eyes.
178
00:06:04,444 --> 00:06:05,643
Disappointing you is like
179
00:06:05,711 --> 00:06:07,878
Choking the little mermaid
with a bike chain.
180
00:06:07,946 --> 00:06:10,613
Mm.
181
00:06:10,681 --> 00:06:13,949
is this nana barnes?
182
00:06:14,016 --> 00:06:16,217
Troy didn't mention you
were such a knockout.
183
00:06:16,284 --> 00:06:18,185
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Oh...
184
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,787
Come on, I'm sure you've broken
a few hearts in your time.
185
00:06:20,855 --> 00:06:22,188
Oh.
186
00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:25,958
Tell me, how many men do
you think I've laid with?
187
00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:30,329
- Who are you?
- I am britta.
188
00:06:30,397 --> 00:06:32,199
And I have offended you.
189
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:35,406
And I am sorry. Is there
anything I can get you?
190
00:06:35,474 --> 00:06:36,809
Yes.
191
00:06:36,876 --> 00:06:39,011
You can get me a switch.
A what now?
192
00:06:39,079 --> 00:06:41,046
She's not family, nana.
193
00:06:41,114 --> 00:06:42,514
You can't make her
get you a switch.
194
00:06:42,582 --> 00:06:45,717
She can make me get it,
I just have to know what it is.
195
00:06:45,784 --> 00:06:48,419
A switch is a stick she
can use to whup you with.
196
00:06:51,556 --> 00:06:54,824
Cherish, britta. Cherish.
197
00:06:56,293 --> 00:06:58,161
Well, it was wonderful
meeting your brother.
198
00:06:58,228 --> 00:07:01,363
Adios, señor chang.
Shalom, rabbi chang.
199
00:07:01,430 --> 00:07:03,098
And to both of you, sayonara.
200
00:07:03,165 --> 00:07:05,233
Right?
201
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,967
Don't go.
202
00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:09,770
- Señor chang?
- Yeah.
203
00:07:09,837 --> 00:07:11,737
Ben, do you realize how
ridiculous that sounds?
204
00:07:11,805 --> 00:07:13,905
Okay, that is who I am.
205
00:07:13,973 --> 00:07:15,440
So drop it! - I'm dropping.
206
00:07:15,508 --> 00:07:16,575
I'm dropping!
207
00:07:16,643 --> 00:07:18,076
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
208
00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:20,679
Amber alert, you are
allergic to peanuts.
209
00:07:20,747 --> 00:07:22,948
That might be a different stepkid.
210
00:07:23,015 --> 00:07:24,615
My flight actually leaves,
so let's--
211
00:07:24,683 --> 00:07:28,452
Your flight actually leaves
after I tell you a story
212
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,488
Called "pierce takes
on the school bully."
213
00:07:31,556 --> 00:07:34,324
Oh.
214
00:07:34,392 --> 00:07:36,759
- Are you a ninja?
- Oh, baby.
215
00:07:36,827 --> 00:07:37,860
Don't be rude.
216
00:07:37,928 --> 00:07:39,195
Oh, she's wearing a burka.
217
00:07:39,263 --> 00:07:41,030
It's a way for women to
express their modesty.
218
00:07:41,098 --> 00:07:42,231
They're like islamic turtlenecks.
219
00:07:42,299 --> 00:07:43,966
Ask her if she wants
to play with us.
220
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,240
...Bouncy house.
221
00:07:58,779 --> 00:07:59,979
That sounds heated.
222
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,714
Did she call him a pig's
anus or something?
223
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:06,052
She's saying she's old enough
to jump in a giant balloon.
224
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:12,490
She's saying he's overprotective.
225
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:13,724
Now she says he's a pig anus.
226
00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:15,659
Mm, that fight made
me crave a hot dog.
227
00:08:15,727 --> 00:08:17,995
Stay put, boys. I'll be back.
228
00:08:18,063 --> 00:08:19,496
Hey, give me.
229
00:08:19,564 --> 00:08:21,365
Agh!
230
00:08:21,432 --> 00:08:24,267
Hey. You are a bad mother.
231
00:08:24,335 --> 00:08:26,002
Control your children.
232
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:29,706
I have to go back to my car
and get my emergency shirt.
233
00:08:29,773 --> 00:08:32,975
And I don't even like that shirt!
234
00:08:33,043 --> 00:08:34,543
Not only did he join a band,
235
00:08:34,611 --> 00:08:36,011
They got jealous and booted him.
236
00:08:36,079 --> 00:08:37,646
Get out.
237
00:08:37,713 --> 00:08:39,681
That's exactly what they said.
238
00:08:39,749 --> 00:08:43,951
Off to the bathroom. Stepdad.
239
00:08:44,019 --> 00:08:45,419
I've never been called "stepdad."
240
00:08:45,487 --> 00:08:46,887
I don't think anyone has.
241
00:08:46,955 --> 00:08:48,889
Listen, when she gets back...
242
00:08:48,956 --> 00:08:50,957
Come up with some reason why
you have to leave, okay?
243
00:08:51,025 --> 00:08:52,625
And I'll beg you to stay,
but you don't.
244
00:08:52,693 --> 00:08:54,093
In fact, why don't
you just leave now
245
00:08:54,161 --> 00:08:55,127
And cut our work in half?
246
00:08:55,195 --> 00:08:57,429
Good luck, buddy.
247
00:09:04,703 --> 00:09:06,003
You're leaving.
248
00:09:06,071 --> 00:09:09,372
My...Girlfriend... Is pregnant.
249
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:10,706
Pierce said you were gay.
250
00:09:10,774 --> 00:09:14,209
He-- yep, as the sunrise.
251
00:09:14,277 --> 00:09:15,577
And I'm deeply ashamed.
252
00:09:15,645 --> 00:09:17,712
I'm just glad I have friends
like pierce to keep--
253
00:09:21,483 --> 00:09:23,317
Honest.
254
00:09:29,059 --> 00:09:30,392
This is slightly wrong.
255
00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:32,425
- Too much tongue?
- Oh, just enough.
256
00:09:32,493 --> 00:09:34,160
But it's pierce.
257
00:09:34,228 --> 00:09:36,162
You mean the guy who
decided he doesn't want men
258
00:09:36,229 --> 00:09:37,529
Touching his ex-stepdaughter,
259
00:09:37,597 --> 00:09:39,464
But divorced my mom
for our housekeeper?
260
00:09:39,532 --> 00:09:41,499
Could be the same guy, yeah.
261
00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:46,003
Amber? Amber, there you are.
262
00:09:46,071 --> 00:09:47,170
Why are you here, jeff?
263
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:48,438
I go to school here, remember?
264
00:09:49,907 --> 00:09:52,674
There's a pictionary tournament
in the student lounge.
265
00:09:52,742 --> 00:09:54,443
Sounds fun. Is jeff joining us?
266
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:56,277
I don't know if he can. Can you?
267
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,645
- I can't.
- No, come on.
268
00:09:57,713 --> 00:09:58,713
Stay. - Stay.
269
00:09:58,780 --> 00:09:59,914
I can't.
270
00:09:59,982 --> 00:10:03,317
Maybe I shouldn't either.
271
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:04,952
- Stay, would you?
- Do you think I should?
272
00:10:05,019 --> 00:10:06,153
I think you have to.
273
00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:07,620
- I'll stay.
- Me too.
274
00:10:07,688 --> 00:10:09,922
oh, good, family day.
275
00:10:13,059 --> 00:10:14,560
No.
276
00:10:16,796 --> 00:10:17,963
- Whatcha doin'?
- Mm.
277
00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:20,298
Getting nana a switch.
278
00:10:20,366 --> 00:10:22,333
Britta, stop pretending that
279
00:10:22,401 --> 00:10:23,501
My mean old nana is awesome.
280
00:10:23,568 --> 00:10:25,102
I'm not pretending.
281
00:10:25,170 --> 00:10:26,370
I think it's cool that
282
00:10:26,437 --> 00:10:28,004
She's got her own
style of discipline.
283
00:10:28,072 --> 00:10:29,973
Nana's old school.
284
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,441
Yeah, my mom told me there'd
be white people that did this.
285
00:10:32,509 --> 00:10:34,877
With pocket watches,
and coffee grinders,
286
00:10:34,944 --> 00:10:36,611
And pretending to
be into steam boats.
287
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,214
But let's get this straight.
288
00:10:39,282 --> 00:10:42,717
This is real life.
My nana's gonna whup you.
289
00:10:42,784 --> 00:10:45,819
Not unless I find her a switch.
290
00:10:49,189 --> 00:10:50,989
How about this?
291
00:10:51,057 --> 00:10:52,957
Yeah, that's a great
switch, britta.
292
00:10:53,025 --> 00:10:54,959
Very hip. It should hurt a lot.
293
00:10:55,026 --> 00:10:57,493
Where's elijah and jordan, abed?
294
00:10:57,561 --> 00:10:59,229
Oh, what a surprise
that you lost them.
295
00:10:59,296 --> 00:11:00,897
- They're playing hide 'n' seek.
- Where?
296
00:11:00,965 --> 00:11:02,398
I don't think that's how it works.
297
00:11:02,466 --> 00:11:03,799
Stop screwing around, abed.
298
00:11:03,867 --> 00:11:06,068
Hey, you want to yell at someone?
299
00:11:06,136 --> 00:11:08,570
Go find your crazy kids.
My boy's disciplined.
300
00:11:08,638 --> 00:11:10,572
It's not his job to-- - all right!
301
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,840
You got me, gubi. I'm a bad mother.
302
00:11:12,908 --> 00:11:14,975
But at least I let my kids be kids,
303
00:11:15,043 --> 00:11:16,476
Instead of acting
like a jail warden.
304
00:11:16,544 --> 00:11:17,811
Ah, you don't like a burka.
305
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:19,379
I'm not talking about the burka.
306
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:21,948
I'm talking about her
never having any fun.
307
00:11:22,016 --> 00:11:24,716
Now abra, you look me in the eyes,
and you tell me...
308
00:11:25,817 --> 00:11:28,218
Um...
309
00:11:28,286 --> 00:11:29,519
I'm sorry.
310
00:11:29,587 --> 00:11:31,020
I seem to have
forgotten the napkins.
311
00:11:31,088 --> 00:11:32,188
Do you mind?
312
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:35,324
Fine. Now I'm the napkin man.
313
00:11:49,903 --> 00:11:51,337
Oh!
314
00:11:51,404 --> 00:11:53,105
Circle.
315
00:11:54,474 --> 00:11:55,607
Circle with a squiggly line.
316
00:11:55,675 --> 00:11:57,342
A squiggly line circle.
317
00:11:57,410 --> 00:11:59,010
You've--you did hear
me say "circle"?
318
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:03,114
Smiling...Sideways vagina.
319
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:05,615
- No.
- Happy...Sideways vagina.
320
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,717
No.
321
00:12:07,785 --> 00:12:09,418
Happy face.
322
00:12:09,486 --> 00:12:10,719
And that's a clam?
323
00:12:10,786 --> 00:12:11,753
"as happy as a clam."
324
00:12:11,821 --> 00:12:13,020
Yes!
325
00:12:13,088 --> 00:12:14,822
"as happy as a clam"? What a--
326
00:12:14,889 --> 00:12:16,589
Gay guess. Idiot.
327
00:12:16,657 --> 00:12:18,190
Pierce, you're up.
328
00:12:18,258 --> 00:12:20,992
Eat my dust, winger.
329
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:24,229
You do know we're on the same team?
330
00:12:24,297 --> 00:12:26,865
Go!
331
00:12:28,434 --> 00:12:31,435
All right, here we go, uh...
332
00:12:35,272 --> 00:12:37,639
Look, I don't, uh...
333
00:12:37,707 --> 00:12:39,942
Pierce, you have to add more.
You have to draw more.
334
00:12:43,579 --> 00:12:44,780
Stop.
335
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,682
Stop circling the same thing.
336
00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:49,885
Well, guess something,
you girlfriendless geek!
337
00:12:49,953 --> 00:12:51,954
What are you drawing?
338
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,423
You're supposed to know, stupid.
339
00:12:53,491 --> 00:12:55,760
Relax...
340
00:12:55,828 --> 00:12:58,031
I'll get this.
341
00:13:00,334 --> 00:13:01,801
I think they'll both drop charges,
342
00:13:01,869 --> 00:13:03,337
But we gotta take statements.
343
00:13:03,404 --> 00:13:04,438
It's gonna be a while.
344
00:13:04,505 --> 00:13:06,206
And I may just be a simple cop,
345
00:13:06,274 --> 00:13:07,741
But people need to know.
346
00:13:07,809 --> 00:13:09,342
This isn't gonna
stop until pictionary
347
00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:11,277
Bans the word "windmill."
348
00:13:11,345 --> 00:13:13,545
Pierce. We'll meet you at the gala.
349
00:13:13,613 --> 00:13:14,813
We're gonna go get some coffee.
350
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:18,248
Is "coffee" code for sex?
351
00:13:18,316 --> 00:13:19,682
Is it?
352
00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:21,317
No.
353
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:24,819
Nana, here's your switch.
354
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:29,390
Bring it here.
355
00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:30,625
Oh, I'll make do.
356
00:13:30,693 --> 00:13:32,761
Okay. Let me have it.
357
00:13:32,829 --> 00:13:34,896
I ain't no nun. Bend over.
358
00:13:38,266 --> 00:13:40,768
Drop your pants and
get over my lap.
359
00:13:40,835 --> 00:13:43,403
all you have to do is walk away.
360
00:13:58,383 --> 00:14:01,319
What are you doing?
She's respecting her elders.
361
00:14:01,386 --> 00:14:03,321
See, troy, did you think
I was a hypocrite?
362
00:14:03,388 --> 00:14:04,689
That I wouldn't really-
363
00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:06,090
Okay, ow, that really--
364
00:14:06,158 --> 00:14:07,892
Whoo! Okay, that really--
365
00:14:10,996 --> 00:14:14,165
I don't understand you, britta.
366
00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:18,369
I don't understand you at all.
367
00:14:18,437 --> 00:14:21,672
You know what? Totally wrong room.
368
00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:22,974
Will you get the door? - Mm-hmm.
369
00:14:23,041 --> 00:14:26,410
she's had enough!
370
00:14:26,478 --> 00:14:28,479
she's had enough!
371
00:14:34,485 --> 00:14:37,286
Let's focus on you,
the forbidden fruit
372
00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,920
That is the ex-stepdaughter
of a casual acquaintance.
373
00:14:39,988 --> 00:14:41,921
Oh, oops. Don't wanna lose that.
374
00:14:44,023 --> 00:14:46,355
Why do you have a $25,
000 check from pierce?
375
00:14:46,423 --> 00:14:49,055
Tuition, for fashion school.
376
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:50,355
Not photography school?
377
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,392
Mm, you caught me.
378
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,394
Uh, maybe I'll just buy a car.
379
00:14:56,461 --> 00:14:58,195
You just do that, huh?
380
00:14:58,263 --> 00:14:59,696
Well, it helps that
381
00:14:59,764 --> 00:15:01,365
He's kind of desperate and stupid.
382
00:15:01,432 --> 00:15:03,732
Did you wanna be a
good person right now?
383
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,802
Or did you wanna be with me?
384
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:14,112
Oh, there you are.
Thanks a lot, pollyanna.
385
00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:16,413
You made me hang out with
pierce and his stepdaughter.
386
00:15:16,481 --> 00:15:18,948
She's grifting him. - She's what?
387
00:15:19,016 --> 00:15:20,683
She's taking a bunch
of money from him.
388
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:23,484
He thinks it's for school,
but it's for...Grifting.
389
00:15:23,552 --> 00:15:25,186
Did you tell him?
390
00:15:25,253 --> 00:15:27,054
it's not that simple.
391
00:15:27,121 --> 00:15:29,622
It's not?
392
00:15:29,690 --> 00:15:31,622
Oh, my--jeff!
393
00:15:31,689 --> 00:15:33,457
gross!
394
00:15:33,524 --> 00:15:35,625
You're gross! You did it with her?
395
00:15:35,693 --> 00:15:38,361
Yeah, but not twice.
I wanted to do it twice.
396
00:15:38,428 --> 00:15:41,063
That's gross!
You met her this morning,
397
00:15:41,130 --> 00:15:44,432
You're faster than some bacteria.
398
00:15:44,499 --> 00:15:46,400
Are you just doing this
because slater hurt you?
399
00:15:46,468 --> 00:15:48,169
What? No, I'm not hurt.
400
00:15:48,237 --> 00:15:49,504
And amber threw herself at me.
401
00:15:49,571 --> 00:15:51,005
Well, you still have to tell pierce
402
00:15:51,073 --> 00:15:53,240
She's taking advantage of him,
don't you?
403
00:15:53,308 --> 00:15:57,577
Well, when you think about it,
nobody's getting hurt.
404
00:15:57,645 --> 00:15:59,779
Pierce is getting a daughter,
amber's getting an allowance,
405
00:15:59,846 --> 00:16:01,780
I'm getting--well,
we already talked about it.
406
00:16:01,848 --> 00:16:03,448
But don't forget, this is pierce.
407
00:16:03,516 --> 00:16:05,717
He's a racist,
homophobic, old goof.
408
00:16:05,784 --> 00:16:07,218
He does bad stuff all the time.
409
00:16:07,286 --> 00:16:09,853
Well, it sounds like you've
got it all figured out.
410
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:13,555
So why are you talking
to me about it?
411
00:16:13,623 --> 00:16:14,756
Because...
412
00:16:14,824 --> 00:16:17,459
You're...You know...
413
00:16:17,526 --> 00:16:19,227
- A decent person?
- Maybe.
414
00:16:19,295 --> 00:16:20,395
And you knew that
talking to me about it
415
00:16:20,462 --> 00:16:22,130
Would make you feel
like a bad friend?
416
00:16:22,197 --> 00:16:23,831
And you wanted to feel
like a bad friend,
417
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:25,566
Because you wanna be a good friend?
418
00:16:25,634 --> 00:16:28,302
You really suck, you know that?
419
00:16:31,172 --> 00:16:33,873
mm-mm-mm-mm.
420
00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:36,108
Go get you and your brother
some ding dongs and calm down.
421
00:16:36,176 --> 00:16:38,443
- 'sup?
- Oh, abed!
422
00:16:38,511 --> 00:16:39,945
Did your family take off? - Yeah.
423
00:16:40,013 --> 00:16:41,313
Thanks for distracting my dad
424
00:16:41,381 --> 00:16:42,781
While we helped abra
get back in her burka.
425
00:16:42,849 --> 00:16:44,716
Well, if a young lady wants
to go in the bouncy house,
426
00:16:44,784 --> 00:16:45,884
She should go.
427
00:16:45,951 --> 00:16:47,285
It was a noble thing you did.
428
00:16:47,352 --> 00:16:48,519
Oh, I didn't do it.
429
00:16:48,587 --> 00:16:49,854
No, it was jordan
and elijah's idea.
430
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:51,355
They're good kids.
431
00:16:51,423 --> 00:16:53,423
If they weren't, they
wouldn't be able to help abra.
432
00:16:53,491 --> 00:16:55,792
I see why you were so
excited for me to meet them.
433
00:16:55,860 --> 00:16:58,161
You should be proud of them.
You're a good mom.
434
00:16:58,228 --> 00:16:59,528
Oh, come on.
435
00:17:00,830 --> 00:17:01,830
Mm. - Hey, mom.
436
00:17:01,898 --> 00:17:02,964
Look what I got.
437
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:07,001
Ding dongs are my favorite.
438
00:17:08,869 --> 00:17:11,771
pretty rough, huh?
439
00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:14,140
Mm, you were right.
Nana's a monster.
440
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:15,808
What did you say?
441
00:17:15,876 --> 00:17:18,043
I said you were a monster, ma'am.
442
00:17:18,111 --> 00:17:22,180
And you said troy was right.
443
00:17:22,248 --> 00:17:23,347
Get me a switch.
444
00:17:23,415 --> 00:17:26,149
Okay.
445
00:17:29,753 --> 00:17:31,421
Hey, stranger.
446
00:17:31,488 --> 00:17:33,389
Wanna pick up where we left off
447
00:17:33,457 --> 00:17:35,525
After I log some time
with daddy warbucks?
448
00:17:35,593 --> 00:17:37,427
No, amber.
449
00:17:37,494 --> 00:17:39,161
I thought about it.
450
00:17:39,229 --> 00:17:41,130
And what I want is for you
to tear up that check,
451
00:17:41,197 --> 00:17:42,831
And go dance with your stepdad.
452
00:17:42,899 --> 00:17:45,566
Are you trying to get
me to cut you in?
453
00:17:45,634 --> 00:17:46,968
You don't have leverage.
454
00:17:47,035 --> 00:17:49,870
If I walk over there and
tell him everything,
455
00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,104
Guess who he'll forgive.
456
00:17:51,172 --> 00:17:52,572
You.
457
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,874
But I'd rather be the bad guy
than watch you siphon him.
458
00:17:54,942 --> 00:17:56,208
How about this?
459
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,910
I walk away,
and if the check clears
460
00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:01,779
I won't make problems for you.
I'll stay gone.
461
00:18:01,846 --> 00:18:03,647
Come back whenever you want.
462
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:06,382
But be good to him when you do,
because I'll be around.
463
00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:08,184
And I'm his friend.
464
00:18:08,252 --> 00:18:11,220
And you can be his
stepdaughter...Or not.
465
00:18:14,290 --> 00:18:17,125
Yeah. I'll take the 25 grand.
466
00:18:17,193 --> 00:18:20,961
Over him, I'd take 25 cents.
467
00:18:21,029 --> 00:18:22,896
Bye.
468
00:18:25,568 --> 00:18:28,436
Oh, jeff.
469
00:18:28,503 --> 00:18:30,871
Have you seen amber? - Yeah.
470
00:18:30,938 --> 00:18:33,676
Listen, pierce,
I gotta tell you something.
471
00:18:33,744 --> 00:18:35,478
She's not coming, is she?
472
00:18:35,546 --> 00:18:37,579
I wrote her a pretty big
check this afternoon.
473
00:18:37,647 --> 00:18:40,215
I had a feeling she might...
Take it and run.
474
00:18:40,282 --> 00:18:41,348
You want me to help you cancel it?
475
00:18:41,416 --> 00:18:43,683
Oh, hell, she earned it.
476
00:18:43,751 --> 00:18:46,685
You're lucky, jeff.
It's not too late for you.
477
00:18:46,753 --> 00:18:50,187
Have a family, share your life.
478
00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,021
That and understanding computers
479
00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:55,590
Are two things you just
can't knock out at the end.
480
00:18:55,658 --> 00:18:57,591
Pierce.
481
00:18:57,659 --> 00:18:59,826
Who did you call last week
after you farted on vaughn?
482
00:18:59,893 --> 00:19:01,260
you.
483
00:19:01,328 --> 00:19:04,028
And who did abed call after
that squirrel stole his hot dog?
484
00:19:04,096 --> 00:19:06,797
- Me.
- That's sharing your life.
485
00:19:06,865 --> 00:19:09,100
If you have friends,
you have family.
486
00:19:12,604 --> 00:19:15,072
Jeffrey.
487
00:19:16,075 --> 00:19:18,543
Aw, come here, son.
488
00:19:25,718 --> 00:19:27,386
Are we hugging or dancing?
489
00:19:27,453 --> 00:19:29,522
You know, if the
roles were reversed,
490
00:19:29,590 --> 00:19:32,259
I would've had sex with
your ex-stepdaughter.
491
00:19:32,327 --> 00:19:33,861
I did.
492
00:19:35,897 --> 00:19:38,198
Chip off the old block.
493
00:19:38,266 --> 00:19:40,434
It was either that or deal
with your actual pain.
494
00:19:40,501 --> 00:19:42,669
What pain?
495
00:19:42,737 --> 00:19:44,271
12:00.
496
00:19:44,338 --> 00:19:47,674
Oh, are you kidding me?
497
00:19:51,344 --> 00:19:53,279
it's okay.
498
00:19:53,346 --> 00:19:55,347
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
499
00:19:56,783 --> 00:19:58,417
Let it out, let it out.
500
00:19:58,485 --> 00:20:01,487
We always used to watch the
shows she wanted to watch.
501
00:20:01,555 --> 00:20:03,256
I hate glee.
502
00:20:03,323 --> 00:20:05,624
I'm not crazy about glee either.
503
00:20:05,692 --> 00:20:07,760
I hate it.
504
00:20:07,828 --> 00:20:09,829
I don't understand
the appeal at all.
505
00:20:15,854 --> 00:20:17,087
Why did we do this again?
506
00:20:17,155 --> 00:20:18,422
We thought it looked fun.
507
00:20:18,490 --> 00:20:19,990
Is your cell phone in your pocket?
508
00:20:20,058 --> 00:20:22,225
Yeah, but I can't reach it.
I can only move my right arm.
509
00:20:22,293 --> 00:20:23,860
Okay, there's money
already in there.
510
00:20:23,928 --> 00:20:25,529
Slide your arm through
that bottom slot,
511
00:20:25,596 --> 00:20:27,030
And press the buttons g-14.
512
00:20:27,097 --> 00:20:28,698
When the snack is selected,
the mechanical lever
513
00:20:28,766 --> 00:20:30,066
That's holding it will
be thrust forward,
514
00:20:30,134 --> 00:20:31,567
Thereby knocking your cell
phone out of your pocket
515
00:20:31,635 --> 00:20:32,768
And into the receptacle below,
516
00:20:32,836 --> 00:20:33,935
Where you can pick it
up and call for help.
517
00:20:34,003 --> 00:20:35,570
Here we go.
518
00:20:43,713 --> 00:20:44,846
Troy?
519
00:20:44,914 --> 00:20:46,483
I think I hit g-13.
520
00:20:46,484 --> 00:20:49,484
Sync by honeybunny
Resync by Pippo Inzaghi