1
00:00:01,256 --> 00:00:03,041
I had to get up so early for my bus
2
00:00:03,042 --> 00:00:05,567
I caught what Cinemax
gets up to at night.
3
00:00:05,928 --> 00:00:06,952
Subscription cancelled.
4
00:00:07,162 --> 00:00:09,187
I got that channel for Eddie
Murphy movies, not stimulation.
5
00:00:09,398 --> 00:00:11,798
Why are you taking the bus?
What happened to your minivan?
6
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,834
My ex-husband needed it.
The person he's dating works at a club
7
00:00:16,038 --> 00:00:17,164
an hour from the city.
8
00:00:17,372 --> 00:00:20,432
Oh. Well, I'll play a violin for
them and maybe she can strip to it.
9
00:00:20,642 --> 00:00:23,668
Kind people are always kind, Britta.
Not just when it's easy.
10
00:00:24,146 --> 00:00:25,875
As we stand, once again
11
00:00:26,081 --> 00:00:29,073
upon the deadline
to drop or add classes,
12
00:00:29,284 --> 00:00:32,253
I hereby present this semester's
Jeff Winger pick
13
00:00:32,454 --> 00:00:36,413
for ultimate blow-off class:
Beginner Pottery.
14
00:00:36,625 --> 00:00:39,651
Your last "blow off" class ended up
teaching me to live in the moment.
15
00:00:39,861 --> 00:00:41,920
Which I will always regret
and never do again.
16
00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:44,257
This one's different.
I researched.
17
00:00:44,466 --> 00:00:45,956
You don't have to make
a good pot.
18
00:00:46,168 --> 00:00:49,535
You get an art credit
for participation.
19
00:00:49,738 --> 00:00:53,139
This class is like a redhead that drinks
Scotch and loves Die Hard.
20
00:00:53,342 --> 00:00:55,071
I suggest you all get her number.
21
00:00:55,277 --> 00:00:57,108
Ahoy.
22
00:00:57,646 --> 00:00:59,204
Guess which class I signed up for.
23
00:00:59,414 --> 00:01:00,506
Singing with Tennille?
24
00:01:02,951 --> 00:01:03,940
Sailing.
25
00:01:04,152 --> 00:01:06,086
The nearest body of water
is two and a half hours away.
26
00:01:06,288 --> 00:01:07,312
Leagues, Abed.
27
00:01:07,522 --> 00:01:09,387
We don't measure water
by hours.
28
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:13,584
It's a one-week intensive that gives
you hands-on experience on a real boat
29
00:01:13,795 --> 00:01:15,990
right here in the parking lot.
30
00:01:16,198 --> 00:01:17,597
I'd rather learn boats
than pots.
31
00:01:17,799 --> 00:01:20,927
I was gonna take a class on how to put
together an online dating profile.
32
00:01:21,136 --> 00:01:23,161
But I think sailing in the
parking lot is less pathetic.
33
00:01:23,372 --> 00:01:27,069
A black person on a sail boat?
I gotta see this. I'm in.
34
00:01:27,276 --> 00:01:29,005
How about you, Abed?
You wanna sail with us?
35
00:01:29,211 --> 00:01:31,771
There's black people.
Mm-hm. Two.
36
00:01:35,350 --> 00:01:36,977
All right.
37
00:01:37,185 --> 00:01:40,484
Hello, ladies.
What you guys making, big balls here?
38
00:01:40,689 --> 00:01:43,419
Oh, yeah.
You guys getting dirty? Nice.
39
00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:46,321
What are you looking at?
Heh, heh. All right.
40
00:01:46,528 --> 00:01:49,759
Hey, Laura Ingalls.
Home Depot guy.
41
00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:52,297
Who's making pots, huh?
44
00:01:56,505 --> 00:01:58,564
I do wanna make
my mom an ashtray.
45
00:01:58,774 --> 00:01:59,763
Okay.
46
00:02:04,713 --> 00:02:07,341
Hello, my precious blueberries.
47
00:02:07,549 --> 00:02:09,915
Hello.
Hi.
48
00:02:10,118 --> 00:02:14,851
All right, let's spin those
wheels and play with some clay.
49
00:02:15,424 --> 00:02:17,654
Now, there's one and only
one rule in this class.
50
00:02:17,859 --> 00:02:21,488
I will tolerate no reenacting,
whether it's ironic or sincere,
51
00:02:21,697 --> 00:02:25,292
of the Patrick Swayze-Demi Moore
pottery scene in Ghost.
52
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:28,230
Ever since that movie
was released in 1990,
53
00:02:28,437 --> 00:02:34,740
I have seen every conceivable
variation of what I call ghosting.
54
00:02:35,010 --> 00:02:37,911
This can be guy-on-girl,
girl-on-guy.
55
00:02:38,113 --> 00:02:40,877
The hilarious guy-on-guy.
56
00:02:44,419 --> 00:02:46,853
So since it never stopped,
57
00:02:47,656 --> 00:02:53,219
I had to adopt
a zero-Ghost- tolerance policy.
58
00:02:53,428 --> 00:02:56,090
If you so much as hum three notes
from that Righteous Brothers song
59
00:02:56,298 --> 00:02:58,823
with God as my witness,
I will come at you
60
00:02:59,034 --> 00:03:01,195
with everything I've got, okay?
61
00:03:01,603 --> 00:03:02,661
Let's have a great time.
62
00:03:06,375 --> 00:03:07,535
I'm making falafel.
63
00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:10,437
Mm.
Not edible.
64
00:03:13,582 --> 00:03:15,049
What are you making?
65
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,274
A vase.
66
00:03:18,453 --> 00:03:19,511
Hey, guys.
Yep?
67
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,120
Look what I made.
68
00:03:21,323 --> 00:03:23,450
A participant badge.
69
00:03:27,696 --> 00:03:29,061
I don't know how.
70
00:03:29,264 --> 00:03:32,529
I mean, I just stuck my hands
into the clay and it happened.
71
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:34,759
You look at me.
72
00:03:34,970 --> 00:03:36,437
You have a gift.
73
00:03:37,272 --> 00:03:39,433
Jeff's competitive
side had come out before,
74
00:03:39,641 --> 00:03:42,906
he had even displayed envy,
but on that first day of Pottery class...
75
00:03:43,111 --> 00:03:44,100
Abed.
Yeah?
76
00:03:44,312 --> 00:03:47,179
What did we discuss?
No voiceover. I'm sorry.
77
00:03:47,549 --> 00:03:48,607
It is kind of a crutch.
78
00:03:57,959 --> 00:03:59,449
I've never been
on a boat before.
79
00:03:59,661 --> 00:04:00,753
I didn't know what to wear.
80
00:04:01,329 --> 00:04:02,887
Yeah, it's intimidating.
81
00:04:03,098 --> 00:04:04,531
We're in Pierce's world now.
82
00:04:04,733 --> 00:04:07,258
He's got all the boat clothes,
and look at him christen.
83
00:04:07,469 --> 00:04:09,630
If that were me,
I would have broken the bottle.
84
00:04:11,339 --> 00:04:13,273
I'm Professor Slaughter.
85
00:04:13,475 --> 00:04:16,467
Welcome aboard
the S.S. Nose Candy,
86
00:04:16,678 --> 00:04:18,578
purchased through
government auction.
87
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:19,906
Oh, that's nice.
88
00:04:20,115 --> 00:04:22,845
It's not nice. It's your only
weapon against the raging sea.
89
00:04:23,051 --> 00:04:24,916
If you don't know how to use her,
you're dead.
90
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,578
Together, you will work as one crew.
You will succeed or fail as one crew.
91
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,883
You will consider this parking lot
the ocean.
92
00:04:31,092 --> 00:04:32,787
Whatever you drop, you lose.
93
00:04:32,994 --> 00:04:35,087
Mishandle the sails,
you capsize and die.
94
00:04:35,831 --> 00:04:37,822
Now, does Little Miss Nice
have a name?
95
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:39,760
Shirley Bennett.
96
00:04:39,968 --> 00:04:42,630
Well, now you're
Captain Shirley Bennett.
97
00:04:42,838 --> 00:04:45,602
Aw, man.
You will follow her every order.
98
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,104
Oh.
99
00:04:48,043 --> 00:04:51,012
I've never been a captain before.
I have.
100
00:04:51,213 --> 00:04:53,681
I commanded a jet ski
through an electrical storm
101
00:04:53,882 --> 00:04:55,975
and only had one casualty.
102
00:04:56,184 --> 00:04:57,947
Jet skis only hold two people.
103
00:04:58,153 --> 00:04:59,848
Exactly. Saved half the crew.
104
00:05:00,055 --> 00:05:02,751
Pottery is much cooler than I thought.
And harder.
105
00:05:02,958 --> 00:05:05,893
Well, except for that guy Rich.
He's like a natural.
106
00:05:06,094 --> 00:05:09,291
Yeah. I'm worried about the effect
that it's having on Jeff, though.
107
00:05:09,498 --> 00:05:12,126
Yeah, someone call a shrink.
What?
108
00:05:12,334 --> 00:05:14,393
Well, you're usually
the cool one.
109
00:05:14,703 --> 00:05:18,469
Abed, you understand the point
of a blow-off class is to blow it off?
110
00:05:18,673 --> 00:05:21,574
Not to be cool at making
really important mud pies.
111
00:05:21,776 --> 00:05:25,234
Not willing to admit he's talented?
No, because he's not.
112
00:05:25,447 --> 00:05:29,042
If I ever make an effort in that class,
you'd think I was the cat's pajamas.
113
00:05:29,251 --> 00:05:30,912
"Cat's pajamas"?
114
00:05:31,119 --> 00:05:32,211
Okay, Pierce.
115
00:05:32,754 --> 00:05:36,053
Wow. Somebody's mommy
gave him too much praise.
116
00:05:36,591 --> 00:05:38,525
Man, so did someone's
psych teacher.
117
00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:45,959
Oh, Seņor Chang.
118
00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:50,160
Yes, I was robbed
at the YMCA. Again.
119
00:05:55,677 --> 00:05:59,773
All right, let's do this.
120
00:06:09,991 --> 00:06:12,391
Jeff, do you know what you are?
121
00:06:12,594 --> 00:06:13,959
You're special.
122
00:06:14,162 --> 00:06:15,993
You're very special, Jeff.
123
00:06:16,197 --> 00:06:19,689
You're the most special
little boy in the world.
124
00:06:31,012 --> 00:06:32,877
Take her back to harbor.
125
00:06:33,081 --> 00:06:36,573
Flank the sheets
and trim the headsail.
126
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,213
Eyes on me for a moment.
127
00:06:41,423 --> 00:06:44,085
I don't see students here,
I see seamen.
128
00:06:44,526 --> 00:06:45,959
And I didn't create them.
129
00:06:46,161 --> 00:06:49,722
From the moment you climbed
aboard, I saw seamen inside you.
130
00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:53,025
More importantly, you've stopped
giggling at the word "seamen."
131
00:06:53,234 --> 00:06:54,929
And that's the mark
of a real seaman.
132
00:06:55,804 --> 00:06:57,431
All right, as you were.
133
00:06:57,639 --> 00:07:01,075
Okay, then.
Crew, make fast the topping lift.
134
00:07:01,276 --> 00:07:02,675
I'll get the rope.
135
00:07:05,313 --> 00:07:07,577
Oh, my God.
Damn. He's ghost riding the jib.
136
00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:10,381
Pierce, hang on.
137
00:07:11,519 --> 00:07:12,816
That hat's gone. Lost at sea.
138
00:07:13,021 --> 00:07:15,512
I might be able to reach it.
It landed on that Hyundai.
139
00:07:16,725 --> 00:07:19,455
I mean, mermaid's car.
140
00:07:19,661 --> 00:07:21,288
Get back on this boat.
141
00:07:21,496 --> 00:07:22,485
No, no, no.
142
00:07:23,098 --> 00:07:26,534
Well, I spoke too soon.
Everybody gets a D.
143
00:07:27,002 --> 00:07:29,368
If I had chosen to hit you
with a storm just then,
144
00:07:29,571 --> 00:07:30,868
you all would have failed.
145
00:07:31,072 --> 00:07:33,165
You better get your crew in line,
captain.
146
00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:37,041
Permission to speak?
Mm-hm.
147
00:07:37,245 --> 00:07:40,180
You really screwed the pooch
on that one, captain.
148
00:07:40,382 --> 00:07:41,644
And I can't swim.
149
00:07:43,318 --> 00:07:46,048
So, you see, ladies, it's
actually a working fountain
150
00:07:46,254 --> 00:07:47,585
with a bird.
151
00:07:49,958 --> 00:07:51,550
Heh, heh, heh.
Hey, Jeff,
152
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,455
ready to make some art
in the shape of a vase?
153
00:07:53,662 --> 00:07:55,289
No, can't.
154
00:07:55,497 --> 00:07:57,397
Ooh, ouch.
Let me take a look.
155
00:07:57,599 --> 00:08:01,194
Rich, being good at Beginner Pottery
doesn't mean you can heal people.
156
00:08:01,403 --> 00:08:04,236
That's true.
But my medical degree does.
157
00:08:04,439 --> 00:08:05,997
I'm a doctor.
A doctor?
158
00:08:06,207 --> 00:08:07,572
I just take pottery to unwind.
159
00:08:07,776 --> 00:08:11,177
I haven't lost a patient in five years.
Puts a lot of pressure on a person.
160
00:08:11,379 --> 00:08:13,904
So the good news is this is
neither sprained nor broken.
161
00:08:14,115 --> 00:08:17,050
Oh, thank God.
But I'll have to get a second opinion
162
00:08:17,252 --> 00:08:19,152
from a guy in my
basket-weaving class.
163
00:08:20,722 --> 00:08:22,690
That's great. It's funny.
164
00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:26,890
Good to see you getting along with Rich.
What's he like?
165
00:08:27,696 --> 00:08:30,392
He's a ringer.
A what?
166
00:08:30,598 --> 00:08:32,930
You know, a con man,
a grifter, a ringer.
167
00:08:33,134 --> 00:08:37,230
He's an expert potter who signs up for
novice classes to impress people.
168
00:08:37,439 --> 00:08:39,669
If he wants to impress,
why join a pottery class?
169
00:08:39,874 --> 00:08:41,501
Why not just say,
"Hi, I'm a doctor"?
170
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:43,200
Because he's crazy.
171
00:08:43,945 --> 00:08:45,776
And fancy jobs
don't impress people.
172
00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:47,709
You weren't impressed
I'm a lawyer.
173
00:08:47,916 --> 00:08:50,441
Anyone can be a lawyer.
You can even represent yourself.
174
00:08:50,652 --> 00:08:53,678
You can't do surgery on yourself.
It's illegal. You'd get arrested.
175
00:08:53,888 --> 00:08:55,446
And then you'd get a free lawyer.
176
00:08:55,657 --> 00:08:57,522
Rich showed me how to make
a flared lip on my pot
177
00:08:57,726 --> 00:08:59,887
and check for breast lumps.
Ha.
178
00:09:00,695 --> 00:09:02,629
I don't know how,
and I don't know when,
179
00:09:02,831 --> 00:09:04,822
but one day that guy
is gonna slip up
180
00:09:05,033 --> 00:09:07,763
and when that happens, I am
gonna be there to expose him.
181
00:09:07,969 --> 00:09:10,164
Jeff, check it out.
If your finger's still bugging you,
182
00:09:10,371 --> 00:09:12,362
just get creative.
183
00:09:13,541 --> 00:09:16,305
I wanna kiss you on the mouth.
I'm sorry?
184
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,268
Hey, Rich. Hey.
185
00:09:24,469 --> 00:09:26,664
Don't run so fast,
you're among friends.
186
00:09:26,872 --> 00:09:29,602
How you doing, Jeff? What's up?
Not much, nada mucho.
187
00:09:29,808 --> 00:09:31,275
Noddily Merchant.
188
00:09:31,476 --> 00:09:33,569
Just want to thank you,
Doc Potterywood,
189
00:09:33,778 --> 00:09:35,541
for taking a look at my finger.
190
00:09:35,747 --> 00:09:39,513
Anytime.
Doc Potterywood, I like it.
191
00:09:39,718 --> 00:09:41,447
Have you taken
many pottery classes?
192
00:09:41,653 --> 00:09:43,143
No, this is my first.
193
00:09:43,355 --> 00:09:44,549
Of the year?
Ever.
194
00:09:44,756 --> 00:09:46,451
No pottery at doctor school?
Medical school?
195
00:09:46,658 --> 00:09:47,886
Pottery school.
Pottery school?
196
00:09:48,093 --> 00:09:50,220
Oh, pottery school?
How long?
197
00:09:50,428 --> 00:09:53,056
Jeff, it's kind of weird,
I feel I'm being interrogated,
198
00:09:53,265 --> 00:09:55,961
but by someone who doesn't really
wanna know anything important.
199
00:09:58,203 --> 00:10:01,400
Oh, hey, New Mexico.
Long way from home.
200
00:10:01,606 --> 00:10:03,904
Yeah. Well, I did my residency
in Santa Fe.
201
00:10:04,109 --> 00:10:05,508
Santa Fe.
Yeah.
202
00:10:05,710 --> 00:10:09,202
Can I give you a lift somewhere?
Oh, no, thanks.
203
00:10:09,414 --> 00:10:10,403
I'm getting there.
204
00:10:18,590 --> 00:10:22,026
Did you sleep here?
Only for a few hours.
205
00:10:22,928 --> 00:10:25,795
Guess where Rich is from.
Couldn't have been Crazy Town.
206
00:10:25,997 --> 00:10:29,797
You'd have gone to school together.
Santa Fe, New Mexico.
207
00:10:30,001 --> 00:10:32,663
Nobody gets out of Santa Fe
without learning to make a pot.
208
00:10:32,871 --> 00:10:36,466
Forty-five percent Hispanic.
Fifth-highest Native American population.
209
00:10:36,675 --> 00:10:39,371
They eat and breathe clay there.
210
00:10:39,578 --> 00:10:41,910
I think some of this research may
have been done on Wikipedia.
211
00:10:42,113 --> 00:10:44,445
You're mocking me? You?
212
00:10:44,649 --> 00:10:46,344
No, you, fine, go ahead, mock me.
213
00:10:46,551 --> 00:10:49,384
Oh, Jeff, you're Goldblum-ing.
Goldblum-ing?
214
00:10:50,021 --> 00:10:53,718
Heh. What? I, uh...
I don't even know what that means.
215
00:10:53,925 --> 00:10:56,519
Look, I have work to do
before class
216
00:10:56,728 --> 00:10:58,958
because I wanna catch Rich
when he slips up.
217
00:10:59,164 --> 00:11:01,792
But who even cares if he's
pretending to be a beginner?
218
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,934
Pottery cares. Integrity cares.
219
00:11:04,135 --> 00:11:07,502
Look, I don't care.
I just care that he cares.
220
00:11:07,706 --> 00:11:09,640
It's lame that he cares.
221
00:11:09,841 --> 00:11:11,968
Shoelace came untied.
Could happen to anybody.
222
00:11:12,177 --> 00:11:14,111
That's your excuse?
Britta weighs 5 pounds.
223
00:11:14,312 --> 00:11:16,109
Troy can't swim.
I've never seen the ocean.
224
00:11:16,314 --> 00:11:18,578
Uh, I can swim, racist.
225
00:11:18,783 --> 00:11:20,876
Listen to me.
On my boat, the crew comes first.
226
00:11:21,086 --> 00:11:25,113
No single person is above it.
You either shape up or ship the hell out.
227
00:11:25,323 --> 00:11:28,156
Now I know what the C
in captain stands for.
228
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:29,520
Crab apple.
229
00:11:29,728 --> 00:11:32,663
Shirley, I thought you said
that kind people were always kind.
230
00:11:32,864 --> 00:11:34,855
Yes. And strong people change.
231
00:11:35,066 --> 00:11:37,933
If the sea was always still and calm,
nobody would respect her.
232
00:11:38,136 --> 00:11:39,296
I'm like the sea.
Hey.
233
00:11:40,372 --> 00:11:43,569
Cuckoo birds, do you mind?
This is important.
234
00:11:43,775 --> 00:11:45,606
College is where most
mental problems activate.
235
00:11:45,810 --> 00:11:47,971
I hope I get
multiple personalities.
236
00:11:48,179 --> 00:11:50,977
I get lonely in long showers.
237
00:11:53,385 --> 00:11:55,979
The barometer's dropping.
The temperature is warm,
238
00:11:56,187 --> 00:11:59,156
but we're heading
into a high-pressure flow.
239
00:11:59,791 --> 00:12:02,191
That's a perfect storm.
240
00:12:02,761 --> 00:12:04,456
Reef the mainsail and furl the jib.
241
00:12:04,663 --> 00:12:06,460
Is that nautical talk
or urban speak?
242
00:12:06,665 --> 00:12:09,657
We have to turn back.
Accidental jibe.
243
00:12:09,868 --> 00:12:11,335
Hit the deck.
244
00:12:14,072 --> 00:12:15,198
Oh!
Man overboard.
245
00:12:15,407 --> 00:12:16,772
Oh, my God, Pierce is dead!
246
00:12:16,975 --> 00:12:18,704
No, wait.
His stomach is moving.
247
00:12:18,910 --> 00:12:20,377
Oh, my God. Pierce.
248
00:12:22,814 --> 00:12:24,338
That's it. Pull me in.
249
00:12:24,549 --> 00:12:26,483
The storm is overtaking you,
captain.
250
00:12:26,685 --> 00:12:27,947
We don't have time.
251
00:12:28,153 --> 00:12:30,451
I'm trying as hard as I can.
I have skinny arms for a quarterback.
252
00:12:30,655 --> 00:12:33,624
I said, we don't have time.
253
00:12:36,261 --> 00:12:37,694
What? No. Pull...
254
00:12:38,129 --> 00:12:39,460
Wait. Pull me in.
255
00:12:39,664 --> 00:12:41,962
What do you mean, "time"?
That's it.
256
00:12:47,105 --> 00:12:49,198
What? No.
257
00:12:49,741 --> 00:12:51,038
No!
258
00:12:51,242 --> 00:12:52,709
Bring the boom amidship.
259
00:12:54,045 --> 00:12:55,376
No!
260
00:12:56,047 --> 00:12:57,412
No!
261
00:12:57,615 --> 00:13:00,049
What in God's name have we done?
262
00:13:02,253 --> 00:13:04,517
Hey.
263
00:13:04,723 --> 00:13:06,850
Get out of my parking spot,
dipwad.
264
00:13:07,058 --> 00:13:08,719
Security.
265
00:13:08,927 --> 00:13:12,556
I mean, take an intermediate
class if you're an intermediate.
266
00:13:12,764 --> 00:13:16,598
Don't come in here making
your fear of failure our problem.
267
00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:19,395
I mean, it's crazy.
It's crazy.
268
00:13:19,604 --> 00:13:21,162
I mean, he's a crazy person.
269
00:13:21,373 --> 00:13:22,362
I'm scared.
270
00:13:23,208 --> 00:13:26,769
It's okay. This is good for him.
He's confronting his own limitations.
271
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:28,910
Busted.
272
00:13:29,381 --> 00:13:31,713
Fatal mistake, Richy boy.
273
00:13:31,916 --> 00:13:35,408
You are busted.
I am?
274
00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:38,589
You just used the "throwing
off the hump" method.
275
00:13:38,790 --> 00:13:42,487
That's an advanced pottery
technique, which I know
276
00:13:42,694 --> 00:13:47,097
because last night I read the
entire Encyclopedia of Pottery.
277
00:13:47,966 --> 00:13:49,194
What are you talking about?
278
00:13:50,602 --> 00:13:53,571
You are no beginner, Santa Fe.
279
00:13:53,772 --> 00:13:56,764
Hey, what is going on,
my blueberries?
280
00:13:56,975 --> 00:13:59,273
Show him what you did.
No.
281
00:13:59,477 --> 00:14:01,604
I rest my case.
What case?
282
00:14:01,813 --> 00:14:03,474
Throw the freaking hump,
imposter.
283
00:14:05,483 --> 00:14:07,451
What are you doing? No.
Hey! Hey!
284
00:14:08,052 --> 00:14:09,986
It's the hilarious
guy-on-guy.
285
00:14:10,188 --> 00:14:13,123
One rule I asked you to follow.
One.
286
00:14:13,324 --> 00:14:14,621
Look.
Oh!
287
00:14:14,826 --> 00:14:17,795
I had it made before he died.
It's not in bad taste.
288
00:14:17,996 --> 00:14:19,395
Out, Winger.
289
00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:21,690
Fine. That's fine.
290
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:22,889
No, that's fine.
291
00:14:24,636 --> 00:14:27,764
Congratulations.
You've failed a class so easy
292
00:14:27,972 --> 00:14:30,941
that people passing in the
hallway get a contact credit.
293
00:14:41,753 --> 00:14:47,282
No, this is abuse!
This is abuse!
294
00:14:49,849 --> 00:14:53,376
Pierce. Do you still have the number
of that private investigator you used
295
00:14:53,586 --> 00:14:55,486
when you thought Ross Perot
was sleeping with your mom?
296
00:14:55,688 --> 00:14:57,952
Is this about that guy in your class?
Yeah.
297
00:14:58,157 --> 00:15:01,490
Face the facts. This kid's got some
natural talent you just don't have.
298
00:15:01,694 --> 00:15:04,390
How would you know?
It's all over the school.
299
00:15:04,597 --> 00:15:06,030
Great.
300
00:15:07,567 --> 00:15:10,502
Why aren't you in sailing class?
They drowned me.
301
00:15:10,703 --> 00:15:12,398
Why?
For a better grade.
302
00:15:12,605 --> 00:15:15,369
But weren't we discussing
your flaws, Jeff?
303
00:15:15,575 --> 00:15:18,874
Why are you letting this guy get to you?
What's really going on?
304
00:15:19,078 --> 00:15:20,477
I made a bad pot.
305
00:15:23,116 --> 00:15:27,052
For some reason, I always thought
that I was special and different.
306
00:15:27,253 --> 00:15:30,450
And I guess I just have
a really hard time
307
00:15:30,656 --> 00:15:34,251
when I want to be good
at something and I suck.
308
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,057
Uh-huh.
309
00:15:39,132 --> 00:15:40,599
Here, give me a hand.
310
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,598
What are you doing?
I'm going back to my sailing class.
311
00:15:43,803 --> 00:15:45,134
After they murdered you?
312
00:15:45,338 --> 00:15:46,805
Jeffrey, when I was born,
313
00:15:47,006 --> 00:15:49,372
I got my umbilical cord
wrapped around my neck,
314
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:51,133
both arms and one of my ankles.
315
00:15:51,344 --> 00:15:54,279
Mom said there came a point when
the doctors stopped delivering me
316
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,380
and just started laughing. Heh.
317
00:15:56,582 --> 00:16:00,382
I mean, if I ever let being bad
at something stop me,
318
00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:01,985
I wouldn't even be here.
319
00:16:02,688 --> 00:16:06,419
That thing some men call failure?
I call living.
320
00:16:06,626 --> 00:16:08,218
Breakfast.
321
00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:11,828
And I'm not leaving
till I've cleaned out the buffet.
322
00:16:12,031 --> 00:16:13,999
Now, how about a shove?
323
00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:23,632
Good luck, Pierce.
Don't need it.
324
00:16:23,843 --> 00:16:25,640
Never had it.
325
00:16:29,115 --> 00:16:30,878
Britta, trim the boom flat.
326
00:16:31,083 --> 00:16:33,017
Troy, sit windward
to heel the boat.
327
00:16:33,219 --> 00:16:36,154
My, the sea has a worthy opponent.
328
00:16:37,557 --> 00:16:40,082
Oh, my God, it's Pierce.
329
00:16:44,897 --> 00:16:47,593
Man, that guy's life
is one big joke.
330
00:16:52,371 --> 00:16:53,668
I mean, I feel bad for him,
331
00:16:53,873 --> 00:16:56,501
but things have been running
smoother since he drowned.
332
00:16:56,709 --> 00:16:58,734
I bet he gets that
all the time.
333
00:17:02,715 --> 00:17:04,945
Oh. Oh. Hey. Hey.
Oh, my God.
334
00:17:05,151 --> 00:17:07,847
It's going down.
Pierce is going to be the only person
335
00:17:08,054 --> 00:17:11,148
ever to drown in a parking lot,
twice.
336
00:17:14,327 --> 00:17:16,227
Help!
Damn the storm.
337
00:17:16,429 --> 00:17:17,589
We're going after Pierce.
338
00:17:17,797 --> 00:17:21,062
Jump the halyard. Star-Burns, get
down there and man the iron jinny.
339
00:17:21,267 --> 00:17:23,861
There's a man overboard.
That's an order.
340
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,401
I'm gonna sink.
341
00:17:25,871 --> 00:17:28,169
I'm about to get the only A
I will ever get,
342
00:17:28,374 --> 00:17:31,036
and Pierce isn't even dying.
Bailing.
343
00:17:31,244 --> 00:17:32,711
You don't have to do this.
344
00:17:32,912 --> 00:17:33,901
I know.
345
00:17:34,113 --> 00:17:37,605
But I'd rather be kind and get
stepped on every once in a while
346
00:17:37,817 --> 00:17:40,752
than be a hard-ass
and turn my back on a friend.
347
00:17:40,953 --> 00:17:42,215
Hoist the mains.
348
00:17:45,791 --> 00:17:48,259
I don't want to go this way.
349
00:17:51,897 --> 00:17:54,058
We're coming, Pierce.
350
00:17:54,267 --> 00:17:55,962
Help.
351
00:17:56,168 --> 00:17:58,864
How's it looking?
We've gotta go faster.
352
00:17:59,071 --> 00:18:00,595
Okay, come on, Star-Burns.
353
00:18:00,806 --> 00:18:02,296
It's filling with water.
354
00:18:12,618 --> 00:18:13,812
It's going down.
355
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:16,079
Pierce, we're coming.
356
00:18:16,289 --> 00:18:18,757
Dear God. Dear God.
357
00:18:24,130 --> 00:18:25,927
Oh, yes. Oh, Britta.
358
00:18:26,132 --> 00:18:27,258
Troy.
359
00:18:30,036 --> 00:18:31,970
Here you go. We gotcha.
360
00:18:32,171 --> 00:18:33,433
Here you go.
Okay.
361
00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:37,804
Are you okay?
You all right?
362
00:18:38,010 --> 00:18:41,275
You just steered your boat into a storm.
Any last words?
363
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:45,883
The sea may be cold and
unforgiving, but I'm not.
364
00:18:46,886 --> 00:18:51,152
The ship might go down but at
least she'll go down with honor.
365
00:18:51,357 --> 00:18:53,018
Then I'll take
your captain's hat
366
00:18:53,225 --> 00:18:55,022
because I'm promoting
you to admiral.
367
00:18:55,227 --> 00:18:56,626
You all get an A.
Oh.
368
00:18:56,829 --> 00:18:58,490
Admiral Shirley. I like that.
369
00:18:58,698 --> 00:19:01,963
Well, it means nothing, really, the class is over.
But you deserve it.
370
00:19:02,168 --> 00:19:04,159
Hey, somebody has to do this.
371
00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:05,359
I'm king of the...
372
00:19:08,274 --> 00:19:09,798
Don't ruin a perfect week.
373
00:19:13,012 --> 00:19:16,573
I'm not gonna spoon you again.
I appreciate that.
374
00:19:16,782 --> 00:19:19,273
Yeah, I can't fully explain
my behavior.
375
00:19:19,485 --> 00:19:21,749
I'd love to blame booze
or demon possession...
376
00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:24,855
You know what? Don't worry about it.
I'm bad at holding grudges.
377
00:19:25,057 --> 00:19:26,388
Well, I'm bad at pottery.
378
00:19:26,592 --> 00:19:29,390
I'm an amateur pottery enthusiast
379
00:19:29,595 --> 00:19:33,759
trying as hard as I can at
something I suck at. It's great.
380
00:19:33,966 --> 00:19:38,096
And the teacher said I could stay if I
don't have any more Ghost bursts.
381
00:19:38,304 --> 00:19:40,568
Fantastic. Well, good luck.
382
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:42,998
Don't need it.
383
00:19:45,077 --> 00:19:47,841
Jeff, you're a normal person.
384
00:19:48,047 --> 00:19:50,345
There's nothing very special
about you at all.
385
00:19:50,549 --> 00:19:53,211
You're going to be great
at a few things
386
00:19:53,419 --> 00:19:55,444
but really crappy at many more.
387
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:57,781
And that takes a lot
of the pressure off
388
00:19:57,990 --> 00:20:00,584
so you can live
a full, happy life.
389
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,757
Oh, and sorry it took me so long
to tell you that
390
00:20:04,964 --> 00:20:07,023
and it was only
in your imagination.
391
00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:09,929
My bad. Kind of a sloppy mom.
392
00:20:10,136 --> 00:20:13,367
That's okay, Mom.
Nobody's perfect.
393
00:20:14,473 --> 00:20:15,872
I'm still scared.
394
00:20:17,276 --> 00:20:19,904
A clay ashtray. You're an idiot.
395
00:20:20,112 --> 00:20:22,171
Why do you have time
to make pottery?
396
00:20:22,381 --> 00:20:26,078
Couldn't you use a little more
practice being a doctor?
397
00:20:26,285 --> 00:20:29,254
Not that it'll ever bring your brother
back to life.
398
00:20:29,455 --> 00:20:33,118
It was supposed to be you
on that roller coaster, Richard.
399
00:20:33,325 --> 00:20:36,385
It was supposed to be you.
400
00:20:40,731 --> 00:20:41,891
Whoo!
401
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:49,665
Oh, come on. Again?
402
00:21:08,592 --> 00:21:11,117
Good grief.