1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:03,797
I had to get up so early for my bus
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,529
I caught what Cinemax
gets up to at night.
3
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:07,764
Subscription cancelled.
4
00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:09,999
I got that channel for Eddie
Murphy movies, not stimulation.
5
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:12,610
Why are you taking the bus?
What happened to your minivan?
6
00:00:12,812 --> 00:00:16,646
My ex-husband needed it.
The person he's dating works at a club
7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:17,976
an hour from the city.
8
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:21,244
Oh. Well, I'll play a violin for
them and maybe she can strip to it.
9
00:00:21,454 --> 00:00:24,480
Kind people are always kind, Britta.
Not just when it's easy.
10
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,687
As we stand, once again
11
00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:29,885
upon the deadline
to drop or add classes,
12
00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:33,065
I hereby present this semester's
Jeff Winger pick
13
00:00:33,266 --> 00:00:37,225
for ultimate blow-off class:
Beginner Pottery.
14
00:00:37,437 --> 00:00:40,463
Your last "blow off" class ended up
teaching me to live in the moment.
15
00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,732
Which I will always regret
and never do again.
16
00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:45,069
This one's different.
I researched.
17
00:00:45,278 --> 00:00:46,768
You don't have to make
a good pot.
18
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:50,347
You get an art credit
for participation.
19
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:53,951
This class is like a redhead that drinks
Scotch and loves Die Hard.
20
00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:55,883
I suggest you all get her number.
21
00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:57,920
Ahoy.
22
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:00,016
Guess which class I signed up for.
23
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,318
Singing with Tennille?
24
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:04,752
Sailing.
25
00:01:04,964 --> 00:01:06,898
The nearest body of water
is two and a half hours away.
26
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,124
Leagues, Abed.
27
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:10,199
We don't measure water
by hours.
28
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:14,396
It's a one-week intensive that gives
you hands-on experience on a real boat
29
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,802
right here in the parking lot.
30
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:18,409
I'd rather learn boats
than pots.
31
00:01:18,611 --> 00:01:21,739
I was gonna take a class on how to put
together an online dating profile.
32
00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:23,973
But I think sailing in the
parking lot is less pathetic.
33
00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:27,881
A black person on a sail boat?
I gotta see this. I'm in.
34
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,817
How about you, Abed?
You wanna sail with us?
35
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:32,583
There's black people.
Mm-hm. Two.
36
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:37,789
All right.
37
00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:41,296
Hello, ladies.
What you guys making, big balls here?
38
00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:44,231
Oh, yeah.
You guys getting dirty? Nice.
39
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:47,133
What are you looking at?
Heh, heh. All right.
40
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:50,571
Hey, Laura Ingalls.
Home Depot guy.
41
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,109
Who's making pots, huh?
42
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:55,781
Let's participate this thing.
Let's do this.
43
00:01:55,982 --> 00:01:57,108
Ladies, I don't know
why you're laughing.
44
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,376
I do wanna make
my mom an ashtray.
45
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:00,575
Okay.
46
00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:08,153
Hello, my precious blueberries.
47
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,727
Hello.
Hi.
48
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:15,663
All right, let's spin those
wheels and play with some clay.
49
00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:18,466
Now, there's one and only
one rule in this class.
50
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:22,300
I will tolerate no reenacting,
whether it's ironic or sincere,
51
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:26,104
of the Patrick Swayze-Demi Moore
pottery scene in Ghost.
52
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,042
Ever since that movie
was released in 1990,
53
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:35,552
I have seen every conceivable
variation of what I call ghosting.
54
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:38,723
This can be guy-on-girl,
girl-on-guy.
55
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,689
The hilarious guy-on-guy.
56
00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:47,665
So since it never stopped,
57
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:54,031
I had to adopt
a zero-Ghost- tolerance policy.
58
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,902
If you so much as hum three notes
from that Righteous Brothers song
59
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,635
with God as my witness,
I will come at you
60
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,007
with everything I've got, okay?
61
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:03,473
Let's have a great time.
62
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,347
I'm making falafel.
63
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,249
Mm.
Not edible.
64
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:15,861
What are you making?
65
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,086
A vase.
66
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:20,323
Hey, guys.
Yep?
67
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:21,932
Look what I made.
68
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,262
A participant badge.
69
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:29,873
I don't know how.
70
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:33,341
I mean, I just stuck my hands
into the clay and it happened.
71
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,571
You look at me.
72
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,249
You have a gift.
73
00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:40,245
Jeff's competitive
side had come out before,
74
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:43,718
he had even displayed envy,
but on that first day of Pottery class...
75
00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:44,912
Abed.
Yeah?
76
00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,991
What did we discuss?
No voiceover. I'm sorry.
77
00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:49,419
It is kind of a crutch.
78
00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:00,261
I've never been
on a boat before.
79
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:01,565
I didn't know what to wear.
80
00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:03,699
Yeah, it's intimidating.
81
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,343
We're in Pierce's world now.
82
00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:08,070
He's got all the boat clothes,
and look at him christen.
83
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,442
If that were me,
I would have broken the bottle.
84
00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:14,085
I'm Professor Slaughter.
85
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:17,279
Welcome aboard
the S.S. Nose Candy,
86
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,390
purchased through
government auction.
87
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,718
Oh, that's nice.
88
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,657
It's not nice. It's your only
weapon against the raging sea.
89
00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:25,728
If you don't know how to use her,
you're dead.
90
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,390
Together, you will work as one crew.
You will succeed or fail as one crew.
91
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:31,695
You will consider this parking lot
the ocean.
92
00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:33,599
Whatever you drop, you lose.
93
00:04:33,806 --> 00:04:35,899
Mishandle the sails,
you capsize and die.
94
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,634
Now, does Little Miss Nice
have a name?
95
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:40,572
Shirley Bennett.
96
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,442
Well, now you're
Captain Shirley Bennett.
97
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:46,414
Aw, man.
You will follow her every order.
98
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:47,916
Oh.
99
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,824
I've never been a captain before.
I have.
100
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,493
I commanded a jet ski
through an electrical storm
101
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:56,787
and only had one casualty.
102
00:04:56,996 --> 00:04:58,759
Jet skis only hold two people.
103
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,660
Exactly. Saved half the crew.
104
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:03,563
Pottery is much cooler than I thought.
And harder.
105
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,705
Well, except for that guy Rich.
He's like a natural.
106
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:10,103
Yeah. I'm worried about the effect
that it's having on Jeff, though.
107
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,938
Yeah, someone call a shrink.
What?
108
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,205
Well, you're usually
the cool one.
109
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:19,281
Abed, you understand the point
of a blow-off class is to blow it off?
110
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:22,386
Not to be cool at making
really important mud pies.
111
00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:26,046
Not willing to admit he's talented?
No, because he's not.
112
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:29,854
If I ever make an effort in that class,
you'd think I was the cat's pajamas.
113
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,724
"Cat's pajamas"?
114
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:33,023
Okay, Pierce.
115
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:36,865
Wow. Somebody's mommy
gave him too much praise.
116
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:39,337
Man, so did someone's
psych teacher.
117
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:46,771
Oh, Señor Chang.
118
00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:50,972
Yes, I was robbed
at the YMCA. Again.
119
00:05:56,489 --> 00:06:00,585
All right, let's do this.
120
00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:13,203
Jeff, do you know what you are?
121
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:14,771
You're special.
122
00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,805
You're very special, Jeff.
123
00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:20,501
You're the most special
little boy in the world.
124
00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:33,689
Take her back to harbor.
125
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:37,385
Flank the sheets
and trim the headsail.
126
00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:42,025
Eyes on me for a moment.
127
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,897
I don't see students here,
I see seamen.
128
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:46,771
And I didn't create them.
129
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:50,534
From the moment you climbed
aboard, I saw seamen inside you.
130
00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:53,837
More importantly, you've stopped
giggling at the word "seamen."
131
00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:55,741
And that's the mark
of a real seaman.
132
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,243
All right, as you were.
133
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:01,887
Okay, then.
Crew, make fast the topping lift.
134
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,487
I'll get the rope.
135
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:08,389
Oh, my God.
Damn. He's ghost riding the jib.
136
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,193
Pierce, hang on.
137
00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:13,628
That hat's gone. Lost at sea.
138
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:16,324
I might be able to reach it.
It landed on that Hyundai.
139
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:20,267
I mean, mermaid's car.
140
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,100
Get back on this boat.
141
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:23,297
No, no, no.
142
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:27,346
Well, I spoke too soon.
Everybody gets a D.
143
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,180
If I had chosen to hit you
with a storm just then,
144
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:31,680
you all would have failed.
145
00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:33,977
You better get your crew in line,
captain.
146
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,853
Permission to speak?
Mm-hm.
147
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:40,992
You really screwed the pooch
on that one, captain.
148
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,456
And I can't swim.
149
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,860
So, you see, ladies, it's
actually a working fountain
150
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:48,397
with a bird.
151
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,362
Heh, heh, heh.
Hey, Jeff,
152
00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:54,267
ready to make some art
in the shape of a vase?
153
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,101
No, can't.
154
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,209
Ooh, ouch.
Let me take a look.
155
00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:02,006
Rich, being good at Beginner Pottery
doesn't mean you can heal people.
156
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:05,048
That's true.
But my medical degree does.
157
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:06,809
I'm a doctor.
A doctor?
158
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,384
I just take pottery to unwind.
159
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:11,989
I haven't lost a patient in five years.
Puts a lot of pressure on a person.
160
00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:14,716
So the good news is this is
neither sprained nor broken.
161
00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:17,862
Oh, thank God.
But I'll have to get a second opinion
162
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,964
from a guy in my
basket-weaving class.
163
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:23,502
That's great. It's funny.
164
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,702
Good to see you getting along with Rich.
What's he like?
165
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,204
He's a ringer.
A what?
166
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,742
You know, a con man,
a grifter, a ringer.
167
00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:38,042
He's an expert potter who signs up for
novice classes to impress people.
168
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,481
If he wants to impress,
why join a pottery class?
169
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,313
Why not just say,
"Hi, I'm a doctor"?
170
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,012
Because he's crazy.
171
00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:46,588
And fancy jobs
don't impress people.
172
00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:48,521
You weren't impressed
I'm a lawyer.
173
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:51,253
Anyone can be a lawyer.
You can even represent yourself.
174
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:54,490
You can't do surgery on yourself.
It's illegal. You'd get arrested.
175
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,258
And then you'd get a free lawyer.
176
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:58,334
Rich showed me how to make
a flared lip on my pot
177
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,699
and check for breast lumps.
Ha.
178
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,441
I don't know how,
and I don't know when,
179
00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:05,634
but one day that guy
is gonna slip up
180
00:09:05,845 --> 00:09:08,575
and when that happens, I am
gonna be there to expose him.
181
00:09:08,781 --> 00:09:10,976
Jeff, check it out.
If your finger's still bugging you,
182
00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:13,174
just get creative.
183
00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:17,117
I wanna kiss you on the mouth.
I'm sorry?
184
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,696
Hey, Rich. Hey.
185
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:27,092
Don't run so fast,
you're among friends.
186
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,030
How you doing, Jeff? What's up?
Not much, nada mucho.
187
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,703
Noddily Merchant.
188
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,997
Just want to thank you,
Doc Potterywood,
189
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:35,969
for taking a look at my finger.
190
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:39,941
Anytime.
Doc Potterywood, I like it.
191
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:41,875
Have you taken
many pottery classes?
192
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,571
No, this is my first.
193
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:44,977
Of the year?
Ever.
194
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:46,879
No pottery at doctor school?
Medical school?
195
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,314
Pottery school.
Pottery school?
196
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,648
Oh, pottery school?
How long?
197
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:53,484
Jeff, it's kind of weird,
I feel I'm being interrogated,
198
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,389
but by someone who doesn't really
wanna know anything important.
199
00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:01,828
Oh, hey, New Mexico.
Long way from home.
200
00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,332
Yeah. Well, I did my residency
in Santa Fe.
201
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:05,936
Santa Fe.
Yeah.
202
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:09,630
Can I give you a lift somewhere?
Oh, no, thanks.
203
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:10,831
I'm getting there.
204
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:22,454
Did you sleep here?
Only for a few hours.
205
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:26,223
Guess where Rich is from.
Couldn't have been Crazy Town.
206
00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:30,225
You'd have gone to school together.
Santa Fe, New Mexico.
207
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:33,091
Nobody gets out of Santa Fe
without learning to make a pot.
208
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,894
Forty-five percent Hispanic.
Fifth-highest Native American population.
209
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:39,799
They eat and breathe clay there.
210
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:42,338
I think some of this research may
have been done on Wikipedia.
211
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:44,873
You're mocking me? You?
212
00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:46,772
No, you, fine, go ahead, mock me.
213
00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:49,812
Oh, Jeff, you're Goldblum-ing.
Goldblum-ing?
214
00:10:50,449 --> 00:10:54,146
Heh. What? I, uh...
I don't even know what that means.
215
00:10:54,353 --> 00:10:56,947
Look, I have work to do
before class
216
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,386
because I wanna catch Rich
when he slips up.
217
00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:02,220
But who even cares if he's
pretending to be a beginner?
218
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:04,362
Pottery cares. Integrity cares.
219
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:07,930
Look, I don't care.
I just care that he cares.
220
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:10,068
It's lame that he cares.
221
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:12,396
Shoelace came untied.
Could happen to anybody.
222
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,539
That's your excuse?
Britta weighs 5 pounds.
223
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,537
Troy can't swim.
I've never seen the ocean.
224
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:19,006
Uh, I can swim, racist.
225
00:11:19,211 --> 00:11:21,304
Listen to me.
On my boat, the crew comes first.
226
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:25,541
No single person is above it.
You either shape up or ship the hell out.
227
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:28,584
Now I know what the C
in captain stands for.
228
00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:29,948
Crab apple.
229
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:33,091
Shirley, I thought you said
that kind people were always kind.
230
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:35,283
Yes. And strong people change.
231
00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:38,361
If the sea was always still and calm,
nobody would respect her.
232
00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:39,724
I'm like the sea.
Hey.
233
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,997
Cuckoo birds, do you mind?
This is important.
234
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,034
College is where most
mental problems activate.
235
00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:48,399
I hope I get
multiple personalities.
236
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:51,405
I get lonely in long showers.
237
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:56,407
The barometer's dropping.
The temperature is warm,
238
00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:59,584
but we're heading
into a high-pressure flow.
239
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,619
That's a perfect storm.
240
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:04,884
Reef the mainsail and furl the jib.
241
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:06,888
Is that nautical talk
or urban speak?
242
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:10,085
We have to turn back.
Accidental jibe.
243
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:11,763
Hit the deck.
244
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,626
Oh!
Man overboard.
245
00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,200
Oh, my God, Pierce is dead!
246
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,132
No, wait.
His stomach is moving.
247
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:20,805
Oh, my God. Pierce.
248
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,766
That's it. Pull me in.
249
00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,911
The storm is overtaking you,
captain.
250
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,375
We don't have time.
251
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,879
I'm trying as hard as I can.
I have skinny arms for a quarterback.
252
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:34,052
I said, we don't have time.
253
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,122
What? No. Pull...
254
00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:39,888
Wait. Pull me in.
255
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,390
What do you mean, "time"?
That's it.
256
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:49,626
What? No.
257
00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:51,466
No!
258
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:53,137
Bring the boom amidship.
259
00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:55,804
No!
260
00:12:56,475 --> 00:12:57,840
No!
261
00:12:58,043 --> 00:13:00,477
What in God's name have we done?
262
00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:04,945
Hey.
263
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,278
Get out of my parking spot,
dipwad.
264
00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:09,147
Security.
265
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:12,984
I mean, take an intermediate
class if you're an intermediate.
266
00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:17,026
Don't come in here making
your fear of failure our problem.
267
00:13:17,229 --> 00:13:19,823
I mean, it's crazy.
It's crazy.
268
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,590
I mean, he's a crazy person.
269
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,790
I'm scared.
270
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,197
It's okay. This is good for him.
He's confronting his own limitations.
271
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,338
Busted.
272
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,141
Fatal mistake, Richy boy.
273
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:35,836
You are busted.
I am?
274
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:39,017
You just used the "throwing
off the hump" method.
275
00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:42,915
That's an advanced pottery
technique, which I know
276
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:47,525
because last night I read the
entire Encyclopedia of Pottery.
277
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:49,622
What are you talking about?
278
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,999
You are no beginner, Santa Fe.
279
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,192
Hey, what is going on,
my blueberries?
280
00:13:57,403 --> 00:13:59,701
Show him what you did.
No.
281
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:02,032
I rest my case.
What case?
282
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,902
Throw the freaking hump,
imposter.
283
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:07,879
What are you doing? No.
Hey! Hey!
284
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,414
It's the hilarious
guy-on-guy.
285
00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:13,551
One rule I asked you to follow.
One.
286
00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:15,049
Look.
Oh!
287
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:18,223
I had it made before he died.
It's not in bad taste.
288
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,823
Out, Winger.
289
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,118
Fine. That's fine.
290
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,317
No, that's fine.
291
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:28,192
Congratulations.
You've failed a class so easy
292
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,369
that people passing in the
hallway get a contact credit.
293
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:47,710
No, this is abuse!
This is abuse!
294
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:53,182
Pierce. Do you still have the number
of that private investigator you used
295
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,292
when you thought Ross Perot
was sleeping with your mom?
296
00:14:55,494 --> 00:14:57,758
Is this about that guy in your class?
Yeah.
297
00:14:57,963 --> 00:15:01,296
Face the facts. This kid's got some
natural talent you just don't have.
298
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:04,196
How would you know?
It's all over the school.
299
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:05,836
Great.
300
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:10,308
Why aren't you in sailing class?
They drowned me.
301
00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:12,204
Why?
For a better grade.
302
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,175
But weren't we discussing
your flaws, Jeff?
303
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:18,680
Why are you letting this guy get to you?
What's really going on?
304
00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:20,283
I made a bad pot.
305
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,858
For some reason, I always thought
that I was special and different.
306
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:30,256
And I guess I just have
a really hard time
307
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:34,057
when I want to be good
at something and I suck.
308
00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:35,863
Uh-huh.
309
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,405
Here, give me a hand.
310
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,404
What are you doing?
I'm going back to my sailing class.
311
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:44,940
After they murdered you?
312
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:46,611
Jeffrey, when I was born,
313
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:49,178
I got my umbilical cord
wrapped around my neck,
314
00:15:49,381 --> 00:15:50,939
both arms and one of my ankles.
315
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:54,085
Mom said there came a point when
the doctors stopped delivering me
316
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,186
and just started laughing. Heh.
317
00:15:56,388 --> 00:16:00,188
I mean, if I ever let being bad
at something stop me,
318
00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:01,791
I wouldn't even be here.
319
00:16:02,494 --> 00:16:06,225
That thing some men call failure?
I call living.
320
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:08,024
Breakfast.
321
00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:11,634
And I'm not leaving
till I've cleaned out the buffet.
322
00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:13,805
Now, how about a shove?
323
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:23,438
Good luck, Pierce.
Don't need it.
324
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,446
Never had it.
325
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,684
Britta, trim the boom flat.
326
00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:32,823
Troy, sit windward
to heel the boat.
327
00:16:33,025 --> 00:16:35,960
My, the sea has a worthy opponent.
328
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,888
Oh, my God, it's Pierce.
329
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:47,399
Man, that guy's life
is one big joke.
330
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:53,474
I mean, I feel bad for him,
331
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,307
but things have been running
smoother since he drowned.
332
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,540
I bet he gets that
all the time.
333
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,751
Oh. Oh. Hey. Hey.
Oh, my God.
334
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:07,653
It's going down.
Pierce is going to be the only person
335
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,954
ever to drown in a parking lot,
twice.
336
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:16,033
Help!
Damn the storm.
337
00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:17,395
We're going after Pierce.
338
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,868
Jump the halyard. Star-Burns, get
down there and man the iron jinny.
339
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:23,667
There's a man overboard.
That's an order.
340
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,207
I'm gonna sink.
341
00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:27,975
I'm about to get the only A
I will ever get,
342
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:30,842
and Pierce isn't even dying.
Bailing.
343
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,517
You don't have to do this.
344
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:33,707
I know.
345
00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:37,411
But I'd rather be kind and get
stepped on every once in a while
346
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:40,558
than be a hard-ass
and turn my back on a friend.
347
00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:42,021
Hoist the mains.
348
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:48,065
I don't want to go this way.
349
00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:53,864
We're coming, Pierce.
350
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,768
Help.
351
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:58,670
How's it looking?
We've gotta go faster.
352
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,401
Okay, come on, Star-Burns.
353
00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:02,102
It's filling with water.
354
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:13,618
It's going down.
355
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,885
Pierce, we're coming.
356
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,563
Dear God. Dear God.
357
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,733
Oh, yes. Oh, Britta.
358
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,064
Troy.
359
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,776
Here you go. We gotcha.
360
00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:33,239
Here you go.
Okay.
361
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,610
Are you okay?
You all right?
362
00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:41,081
You just steered your boat into a storm.
Any last words?
363
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:45,689
The sea may be cold and
unforgiving, but I'm not.
364
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:50,958
The ship might go down but at
least she'll go down with honor.
365
00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:52,824
Then I'll take
your captain's hat
366
00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:54,828
because I'm promoting
you to admiral.
367
00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:56,432
You all get an A.
Oh.
368
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,296
Admiral Shirley. I like that.
369
00:18:58,504 --> 00:19:01,769
Well, it means nothing, really, the class is over.
But you deserve it.
370
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,965
Hey, somebody has to do this.
371
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:05,165
I'm king of the...
372
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,604
Don't ruin a perfect week.
373
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:16,379
I'm not gonna spoon you again.
I appreciate that.
374
00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:19,079
Yeah, I can't fully explain
my behavior.
375
00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:21,555
I'd love to blame booze
or demon possession...
376
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,661
You know what? Don't worry about it.
I'm bad at holding grudges.
377
00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:26,194
Well, I'm bad at pottery.
378
00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:29,196
I'm an amateur pottery enthusiast
379
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:33,565
trying as hard as I can at
something I suck at. It's great.
380
00:19:33,772 --> 00:19:37,902
And the teacher said I could stay if I
don't have any more Ghost bursts.
381
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:40,374
Fantastic. Well, good luck.
382
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:42,804
Don't need it.
383
00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:47,647
Jeff, you're a normal person.
384
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,151
There's nothing very special
about you at all.
385
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:53,017
You're going to be great
at a few things
386
00:19:53,225 --> 00:19:55,250
but really crappy at many more.
387
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,587
And that takes a lot
of the pressure off
388
00:19:57,796 --> 00:20:00,390
so you can live
a full, happy life.
389
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:04,563
Oh, and sorry it took me so long
to tell you that
390
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,829
and it was only
in your imagination.
391
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,735
My bad. Kind of a sloppy mom.
392
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:13,173
That's okay, Mom.
Nobody's perfect.
393
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:15,678
I'm still scared.
394
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:19,710
A clay ashtray. You're an idiot.
395
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:21,977
Why do you have time
to make pottery?
396
00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:25,884
Couldn't you use a little more
practice being a doctor?
397
00:20:26,091 --> 00:20:29,060
Not that it'll ever bring your brother
back to life.
398
00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:32,924
It was supposed to be you
on that roller coaster, Richard.
399
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:36,191
It was supposed to be you.
400
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:40,898
Whoo!
401
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,672
Oh, come on. Again?
402
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:10,124
Good grief.