1 00:00:01,970 --> 00:00:03,470 Good morning, greendale! 2 00:00:03,538 --> 00:00:05,973 As you know, it is April fool's day. 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,322 Just kidding--it's the day before April fool's. 4 00:00:08,390 --> 00:00:10,198 Baba booey, baba booey, baba booey. 5 00:00:10,265 --> 00:00:13,147 You know what, leonard? Strike two! 6 00:00:15,089 --> 00:00:18,578 Anyway, just reminding you to keep any April fool's prank 7 00:00:18,646 --> 00:00:20,955 Physically safe, politically balanced, 8 00:00:21,023 --> 00:00:22,593 And racially accessible. 9 00:00:22,660 --> 00:00:24,498 When in doubt, check the guidelines 10 00:00:24,565 --> 00:00:25,935 In our college pranks literature. 11 00:00:26,003 --> 00:00:29,369 - "guidelines for school-sanctioned pranks." 12 00:00:29,437 --> 00:00:31,268 Huh, reminds me of my favorite college comedy. 13 00:00:31,336 --> 00:00:33,670 - Oh, which one? - Exactly. 14 00:00:33,735 --> 00:00:35,289 See, the dean doesn't get it. 15 00:00:35,357 --> 00:00:38,014 The point of a practical joke is to shake up the system. 16 00:00:38,082 --> 00:00:40,684 For example, who wants some of these? 17 00:00:40,752 --> 00:00:42,319 Cool, yeah. 18 00:00:45,787 --> 00:00:46,954 Looking for something? 19 00:00:47,022 --> 00:00:48,456 - Nice. - Oh! 20 00:00:48,523 --> 00:00:50,390 They allow student volunteers for campus security 21 00:00:50,458 --> 00:00:52,224 During times of heightened shenanigans. 22 00:00:52,292 --> 00:00:54,392 - Oh! - I want to be security. 23 00:00:54,459 --> 00:00:56,426 Ooh, let's do it together. We can be partners. 24 00:00:56,494 --> 00:00:58,361 That's a buddy cop movie I would watch. 25 00:00:58,429 --> 00:00:59,961 But I wonder which of you would be by the book, 26 00:01:00,029 --> 00:01:01,195 And which of you would be the bad-ass. 27 00:01:01,263 --> 00:01:03,363 Oh, abed, you're so silly. 28 00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:05,531 I'd be the bad-ass. 29 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,466 Greetings, mortals! 30 00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,966 Morning! Snake in a can? 31 00:01:10,034 --> 00:01:11,800 Oh, no, thanks. I'm fasting. 32 00:01:11,868 --> 00:01:13,101 My buddhist church 33 00:01:13,169 --> 00:01:15,069 Is having its annual ascension ceremony, 34 00:01:15,136 --> 00:01:16,736 And I will be becoming 35 00:01:16,804 --> 00:01:20,838 A level six laser lotus. 36 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,440 I know. I was speechless too. 37 00:01:24,508 --> 00:01:26,909 Anyway, I have to detoxify for the ceremony. 38 00:01:26,977 --> 00:01:30,645 I get all the nutrients I need with salt water and honey. 39 00:01:33,448 --> 00:01:34,715 Even better if it goes down the wrong-- 40 00:01:35,984 --> 00:01:36,983 The wrong pipe. 41 00:01:37,051 --> 00:01:39,986 So what happens in level six? 42 00:01:40,053 --> 00:01:42,421 Well, nobody in my hive has ever seen a six. 43 00:01:42,488 --> 00:01:43,655 But, uh, from what I hear, 44 00:01:43,722 --> 00:01:44,922 I'll have immunity to germs, 45 00:01:44,990 --> 00:01:46,423 Heightened psychic ability, 46 00:01:46,491 --> 00:01:47,991 And improved night vision. 47 00:01:48,059 --> 00:01:49,759 - Any bonuses to your kombat score? 48 00:01:49,827 --> 00:01:51,827 I assume I'll fight better if I can see more. 49 00:01:51,895 --> 00:01:52,895 Dumb ass. 50 00:01:52,963 --> 00:01:55,363 Hey, pierce, I just remembered. 51 00:01:55,431 --> 00:01:58,300 Right before you got here, some guy was delivering 52 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,235 Level six ceremonial robes? 53 00:02:00,303 --> 00:02:02,470 What?! Why didn't you tell me? 54 00:02:02,538 --> 00:02:04,139 Maybe if you run, you can catch him. 55 00:02:04,206 --> 00:02:07,941 Way to use your brain, winger. 56 00:02:08,008 --> 00:02:10,309 Abed, how fast can you run to the theater department? 57 00:02:10,376 --> 00:02:11,742 37 seconds. 58 00:02:11,810 --> 00:02:13,243 Don't come back without something ridiculous. Go. 59 00:02:13,311 --> 00:02:15,779 Got it. 60 00:02:15,846 --> 00:02:18,514 Guys, you realize you're exploiting the naivete 61 00:02:18,582 --> 00:02:21,283 Of a man who is being brainwashed by a cult? 62 00:02:21,351 --> 00:02:23,918 - Oh, well, it sounds a lot less fun when you say it. 63 00:02:23,986 --> 00:02:26,220 Everything does. She's a buzz kill. 64 00:02:26,287 --> 00:02:27,854 I'm not a buzz kill. 65 00:02:27,922 --> 00:02:29,088 - Mm. - Mm-hmm. 66 00:02:29,156 --> 00:02:30,323 Yeah, that doesn't really describe it. 67 00:02:30,390 --> 00:02:32,324 You're more of a fun vampire, 68 00:02:32,392 --> 00:02:35,093 Because you don't suck blood, you just suck. 69 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,261 He wasn't there. 70 00:02:37,329 --> 00:02:39,097 Oh, I think abed found him. 71 00:02:39,165 --> 00:02:41,198 Hey, give me that. 72 00:02:45,735 --> 00:02:47,969 Ohh. It's amazing. 73 00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,470 Wow! 74 00:02:49,538 --> 00:02:51,872 It is absolutely gorgeous. 75 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,206 How do I look? 76 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:54,340 Yeah? 77 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,809 - Magical. - Great. 78 00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,646 Of course, the only one who doesn't like this is britta. 79 00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:04,182 Do you ever get tired of being a buzz kill? 80 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,351 ?T× I can't count ?T× 81 00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:09,555 ?T× the reasons I should stay ?T× 82 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,025 This is gonna be exciting, ladies. 83 00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:16,392 I hereby deputize you 84 00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:19,661 As campus security for 48 hours. 85 00:03:19,729 --> 00:03:20,862 Your windbreakers. 86 00:03:23,532 --> 00:03:25,100 Your whistles. 87 00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:30,537 Oh! Oh, okay. 88 00:03:33,741 --> 00:03:36,742 Okay, now, I only have the one pepper spray. 89 00:03:36,810 --> 00:03:37,910 It's mine. 90 00:03:37,978 --> 00:03:39,311 But I'll just get my groceries 91 00:03:39,379 --> 00:03:40,479 In a better neighborhood this week. 92 00:03:40,546 --> 00:03:41,980 I'll carry it. 93 00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:44,748 Between the two of us, I'm sort of the bad-ass. 94 00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:46,683 You are? Uh, how do you figure? 95 00:03:46,751 --> 00:03:48,584 I don't know, shirley. How did you figure I wasn't? 96 00:03:48,652 --> 00:03:50,719 I guess I didn't figure because I was too busy 97 00:03:50,787 --> 00:03:52,053 Being the obvious bad-ass. 98 00:03:52,121 --> 00:03:54,422 Sounds like we're both pretty convinced. 99 00:03:54,490 --> 00:03:56,524 I guess we'll find out who's right once we're on the job. 100 00:03:56,591 --> 00:03:57,925 Hmm, I guess we will. 101 00:03:57,992 --> 00:04:00,360 I'm sorry, what is going on here? 102 00:04:00,428 --> 00:04:01,361 A twist on a classic formula. 103 00:04:01,429 --> 00:04:02,662 Normally, with buddy cops, 104 00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:03,763 One's a straight-laced stickler, 105 00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:04,997 And the other's a renegade. 106 00:04:05,065 --> 00:04:07,399 But these two have equal claim to both roles. 107 00:04:07,467 --> 00:04:08,833 And why are you here? 108 00:04:08,901 --> 00:04:10,667 Well, short answer: 109 00:04:10,735 --> 00:04:12,369 My cable went out. 110 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:17,238 hey... Can I run something by you? 111 00:04:17,306 --> 00:04:19,573 ?T× I was thinking of pulling a little prank tonight ?T× 112 00:04:19,641 --> 00:04:20,607 All right. 113 00:04:20,675 --> 00:04:22,309 For April fool's, a prank. 114 00:04:22,376 --> 00:04:24,277 So you know how they have live frogs 115 00:04:24,344 --> 00:04:25,411 In the anatomy lab? 116 00:04:25,478 --> 00:04:26,745 Oh, yeah. 117 00:04:26,813 --> 00:04:29,014 So I was gonna sneak in there, get a frog, 118 00:04:29,082 --> 00:04:30,148 And then tomorrow, 119 00:04:30,216 --> 00:04:31,883 When se?±or chang's class is coming in, 120 00:04:31,951 --> 00:04:34,120 There will be a frog on his desk 121 00:04:34,187 --> 00:04:37,057 Wearing... 122 00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:39,125 Ta da! 123 00:04:41,861 --> 00:04:43,295 Oh, you're done. 124 00:04:43,363 --> 00:04:44,530 Did you read the hat? 125 00:04:44,597 --> 00:04:46,631 - Se?±or chang. - Yeah. 126 00:04:46,699 --> 00:04:48,733 Oh, you don't get it. 127 00:04:48,801 --> 00:04:51,969 - I guess I don't. - The frog is chang. 128 00:04:52,037 --> 00:04:53,804 Okay, I did get it. It's funny. 129 00:04:53,871 --> 00:04:56,239 I know it's funny. Oh, wait, I forgot-- 130 00:04:56,307 --> 00:04:58,908 It's not your kind of joke. It's not at anyone's expense. 131 00:04:58,976 --> 00:05:00,943 Britta, why waste your time envying my gift for levity 132 00:05:01,011 --> 00:05:02,411 When there's so much you could be doing 133 00:05:02,479 --> 00:05:03,912 With your natural talent for severity? 134 00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:05,046 You know what? 135 00:05:05,114 --> 00:05:07,482 My prank is gonna cause a sea of laughter, 136 00:05:07,549 --> 00:05:09,250 And I am gonna watch you drown in it. 137 00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:11,152 That a girl! 138 00:05:14,090 --> 00:05:15,390 Seven. 139 00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:17,626 That's right. 140 00:05:17,694 --> 00:05:19,562 Jeff, I can read minds. 141 00:05:19,630 --> 00:05:21,097 No way. 142 00:05:21,165 --> 00:05:23,765 What color am I thinking of? 143 00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:24,764 Pink? 144 00:05:24,832 --> 00:05:27,433 What the hey? 145 00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:28,901 Must be the robe. 146 00:05:28,968 --> 00:05:29,901 Yeah. 147 00:05:29,969 --> 00:05:31,770 Hey...Cookie crisp. 148 00:05:31,837 --> 00:05:32,937 Cookie crisp. 149 00:05:33,005 --> 00:05:34,105 Is he talking to me? 150 00:05:34,172 --> 00:05:35,406 - No. No. 151 00:05:35,474 --> 00:05:37,941 Hey, pierce, that guy came back that brought your robes 152 00:05:38,009 --> 00:05:41,144 And said he forgot to deliver...This. 153 00:05:41,212 --> 00:05:42,645 What is it? 154 00:05:42,713 --> 00:05:44,680 He said it focuses your powers? 155 00:05:53,288 --> 00:05:54,654 Is that a cookie? 156 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:58,424 Maybe it's a piece of meteor. 157 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,459 Buddha arrived on a meteor! 158 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,327 When was the last time he ate? 159 00:06:02,394 --> 00:06:04,896 I am the coolest guy 160 00:06:04,963 --> 00:06:07,331 In the world. 161 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:25,281 Ugh. Hello, mr. Frog. 162 00:06:25,348 --> 00:06:27,950 Can I just borrow you for a second? 163 00:06:31,287 --> 00:06:34,121 "I'm se?±or chang." 164 00:06:34,189 --> 00:06:36,623 Now tell me that's not funny. 165 00:06:36,691 --> 00:06:38,123 aah! Oh! 166 00:06:38,191 --> 00:06:39,558 Wait! 167 00:06:39,626 --> 00:06:42,495 here froggy, here froggy. 168 00:06:42,563 --> 00:06:45,097 Here froggy. 169 00:06:49,068 --> 00:06:50,335 now real quiet. 170 00:06:51,937 --> 00:06:53,904 Aah! 171 00:06:56,107 --> 00:06:57,707 Oh, no. Oh, no. 172 00:07:01,444 --> 00:07:02,544 Yaaah! 173 00:07:02,612 --> 00:07:04,412 ohh. 174 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,546 aah! 175 00:07:07,414 --> 00:07:08,547 Oh, that's horrible. 176 00:07:08,615 --> 00:07:11,081 Oh, god, that's horrible! 177 00:07:11,149 --> 00:07:13,151 Someone dropped a dead body out that window. 178 00:07:19,652 --> 00:07:20,986 Is this was a brand-new sign, so... 179 00:07:21,054 --> 00:07:22,321 I just don't want this to tarnish 180 00:07:22,388 --> 00:07:23,789 Our school's reputation. 181 00:07:23,857 --> 00:07:25,157 Don't worry, your school's reputation 182 00:07:25,225 --> 00:07:26,325 Is way worse than this. 183 00:07:26,393 --> 00:07:27,727 oh... 184 00:07:27,794 --> 00:07:29,128 Here's our campus security. 185 00:07:29,196 --> 00:07:30,296 Yeah, just stop right there. 186 00:07:30,364 --> 00:07:32,065 Oh, ladies, don't pull up on that-- 187 00:07:32,132 --> 00:07:33,333 Ooh. 188 00:07:35,837 --> 00:07:36,770 Oh, annie. 189 00:07:36,838 --> 00:07:38,005 Mornin', boys. 190 00:07:38,073 --> 00:07:40,074 I'm annie edison. 191 00:07:40,141 --> 00:07:41,341 People call me "psycho" 192 00:07:41,409 --> 00:07:42,743 Because I had a nervous breakdown in high school. 193 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,078 My partner's a christian housewife. 194 00:07:45,145 --> 00:07:46,078 Can we help you? 195 00:07:46,146 --> 00:07:48,747 Actually, can we not help you? 196 00:07:48,815 --> 00:07:50,182 I tend to play by my own rules. 197 00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,484 She loves rules. I only have one. 198 00:07:52,552 --> 00:07:55,720 Stay out of my way. 199 00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:59,957 Stay out of mine more. 200 00:08:00,024 --> 00:08:02,292 You know what? This is misdemeanor vandalism. 201 00:08:02,359 --> 00:08:04,527 You ladies can take care of it yourselves. 202 00:08:07,030 --> 00:08:07,996 Oh, wait. 203 00:08:08,064 --> 00:08:09,297 Wait, wait, wait-- what? 204 00:08:09,365 --> 00:08:10,432 Call us when you find a perp. 205 00:08:10,499 --> 00:08:12,033 yeah, we'll be waiting. 206 00:08:12,101 --> 00:08:13,301 Ohh. 207 00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:14,502 - You go. - I'm about to. 208 00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:16,203 Now look what you have done! 209 00:08:16,271 --> 00:08:17,705 Tell them they got 24 hours to solve the case. 210 00:08:17,773 --> 00:08:20,474 They do! You have 24 hours to solve it, or else. 211 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:22,976 Figure it out! 212 00:08:24,278 --> 00:08:25,778 That's the poster. 213 00:08:25,846 --> 00:08:28,047 Well, this is the part of my job 214 00:08:28,115 --> 00:08:29,649 That I enjoy the least. 215 00:08:29,716 --> 00:08:32,117 The part where I inform you that, last night, 216 00:08:32,185 --> 00:08:35,987 Someone murdered a partially clothed animal 217 00:08:36,054 --> 00:08:39,455 And threw a human corpse out a window. 218 00:08:39,522 --> 00:08:41,523 And you can thank the person that did it, 219 00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:43,692 A person that may be in this room, 220 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,661 For the fact that, from now on, 221 00:08:45,728 --> 00:08:48,296 April fool's day is banished, okay? 222 00:08:48,364 --> 00:08:50,699 At greendale, April 1st 223 00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:53,902 Is officially March 32nd, forever! 224 00:08:53,970 --> 00:08:55,804 How do you know it was one of us? 225 00:08:55,872 --> 00:08:59,473 Well, if I may answer a question with a question, 226 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:03,243 Why are you dressed like a wizard? 227 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,147 Okay, is he having a stroke? 228 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,249 I'll tell you how I know! 229 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,717 Security officers bennett and edison 230 00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:16,355 Found this at the scene, hmm? 231 00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:18,757 This little hat says "chang" on it. 232 00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,259 And we ruled out your teacher, 233 00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:22,260 Because he has a crippling fear of frogs. 234 00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:25,063 I told you that in confidence! 235 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:28,600 How about whoever did this just fesses up? 236 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,275 All right, that wasn't just a cadaver 237 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,277 That was thrown out that window. 238 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,545 It was a person. 239 00:09:38,613 --> 00:09:41,048 With family and friends. 240 00:09:41,115 --> 00:09:44,450 And for every day that nobody confesses, 241 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,617 This class will be meeting one of them, hmm? 242 00:09:47,685 --> 00:09:49,586 Glenda! Oh, I apologize. 243 00:09:49,654 --> 00:09:51,287 Can you come on in here, hmm? 244 00:09:51,355 --> 00:09:52,288 Yes. 245 00:09:52,355 --> 00:09:54,289 And tell us about your son. 246 00:09:54,357 --> 00:09:56,557 Oh, yes. Hello, everyone. 247 00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:57,591 Hello. 248 00:09:57,659 --> 00:09:59,059 Hello, glenda. 249 00:09:59,127 --> 00:10:01,929 Oh. There, heh. 250 00:10:01,997 --> 00:10:04,598 Harry was a wonderful man. 251 00:10:04,665 --> 00:10:06,900 He kept a dream journal. 252 00:10:06,967 --> 00:10:09,101 Page one. 253 00:10:09,169 --> 00:10:11,637 "I had that dream again 254 00:10:11,705 --> 00:10:13,472 "where I'm in a forest. 255 00:10:13,539 --> 00:10:16,941 But the trees are pencils." 256 00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:21,077 Hey. 257 00:10:21,145 --> 00:10:22,379 - Impressive. - Ohh. 258 00:10:22,446 --> 00:10:23,747 And hilarious. 259 00:10:23,814 --> 00:10:25,281 You gonna 'fess up, weirdo? 260 00:10:25,349 --> 00:10:28,184 Look, it wasn't me. 261 00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:30,254 And even if it was, 262 00:10:30,322 --> 00:10:32,023 This was an accident. 263 00:10:32,091 --> 00:10:33,291 I knew it. Nicely done. 264 00:10:33,359 --> 00:10:34,893 If I come forward, 265 00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:36,128 It's gonna play into the whole 266 00:10:36,195 --> 00:10:37,895 "britta's a buzz kill" mythology. 267 00:10:37,963 --> 00:10:39,597 Well, the toe tag fits, britta. 268 00:10:39,664 --> 00:10:43,601 I mean, you single-handedly killed an entire school's buzz, 269 00:10:43,668 --> 00:10:44,802 Not to mention a frog. 270 00:10:44,869 --> 00:10:46,403 And according to glenda, cadaver harry 271 00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,271 Had 13 nieces and nephews 272 00:10:48,339 --> 00:10:49,539 That I'm not interested in meeting. 273 00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,875 So you better think about coming clean 274 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:53,977 Or I'm just gonna tell everybody you did it. 275 00:11:00,053 --> 00:11:01,687 - Star-burns doesn't do very much. 276 00:11:01,754 --> 00:11:02,920 I guess fascinating people 277 00:11:02,988 --> 00:11:04,654 Don't resort to growing shapes on their faces. 278 00:11:04,722 --> 00:11:06,890 He makes one false move, and I'm gonna go shirley on him. 279 00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:09,559 That's what my high school friends called crazy. 280 00:11:09,626 --> 00:11:11,494 Yeah? Are you gonna go shirlier than I did 281 00:11:11,561 --> 00:11:12,762 When I got addicted to pills? 282 00:11:12,829 --> 00:11:15,330 Why are you so concerned with being a bad-ass? 283 00:11:15,398 --> 00:11:17,766 Maybe I'm tired of everyone thinking of me as a little girl. 284 00:11:17,833 --> 00:11:19,334 Maybe I wanna be in charge of how I'm defined. 285 00:11:19,401 --> 00:11:21,235 Well, how do you think I feel? 286 00:11:21,303 --> 00:11:22,837 You have two kids, and they stick you in the margins. 287 00:11:22,904 --> 00:11:25,338 I'm not done yet. I still got moves. 288 00:11:25,406 --> 00:11:26,673 I haven't even started yet. 289 00:11:26,740 --> 00:11:28,674 I've got moves I haven't even seen before. 290 00:11:31,777 --> 00:11:32,877 Blocked call. 291 00:11:32,945 --> 00:11:33,944 Ooh. 292 00:11:34,012 --> 00:11:35,379 Edison. 293 00:11:35,446 --> 00:11:37,047 the man you're looking for 294 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,115 Is jeff winger. 295 00:11:39,183 --> 00:11:40,883 - Jeff winger. - Who is this? 296 00:11:42,719 --> 00:11:44,253 I didn't recognize the voice. 297 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:45,888 They say jeff winger's our man. 298 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,022 Oh! 299 00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:48,990 Drop 'em if you smoke 'em. 300 00:11:49,058 --> 00:11:50,558 - Cut to action sequence. - Let's roll. 301 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,594 Security comin' through. 302 00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:57,632 mr. Winger. 303 00:11:57,699 --> 00:11:59,968 Cagney, lacey. What can I do you for? 304 00:12:00,035 --> 00:12:02,070 Just doing a routine search. 305 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,571 What is this? What do you have here? 306 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:05,173 - That's my chest. - Why don't you spread 'em? 307 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,008 - Huh? - Okay. Guys... 308 00:12:07,076 --> 00:12:08,142 - I can pat. - I can pat too. 309 00:12:08,210 --> 00:12:09,243 I can do it too. 310 00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:11,378 So, uh, what do you got in the bag? 311 00:12:11,446 --> 00:12:14,081 - Yeah. - What the-- 312 00:12:14,149 --> 00:12:16,317 Let's see what we have here. 313 00:12:16,385 --> 00:12:18,653 Holy mary, mother of pearl. 314 00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:20,421 What do we have here? 315 00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:21,689 Looks like enough tiny items 316 00:12:21,757 --> 00:12:23,524 To equip an amphibious mariachi band. 317 00:12:23,592 --> 00:12:24,725 Of frogs. 318 00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:26,326 - That is not my stuff. - Hmm. 319 00:12:26,394 --> 00:12:28,360 Britta. Britta planted that. 320 00:12:28,428 --> 00:12:29,694 Sure she did. 321 00:12:29,762 --> 00:12:32,230 Tell that to what our equivalent of a judge is. 322 00:12:32,298 --> 00:12:33,331 Wha--oh! 323 00:12:33,399 --> 00:12:35,167 What? 324 00:12:35,234 --> 00:12:36,736 Ooh, he's getting away! 325 00:12:36,804 --> 00:12:38,572 Oh, stop! I'm not gonna like you! 326 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,407 - Go, go! - Come on. 327 00:12:43,912 --> 00:12:46,446 Okay, he's right there. You gotta go faster! 328 00:12:46,514 --> 00:12:48,448 what are these doing here? 329 00:12:48,515 --> 00:12:49,482 He's getting away! 330 00:12:49,550 --> 00:12:50,483 Go after him on foot. 331 00:12:50,551 --> 00:12:51,651 I'm going after him on foot. 332 00:12:51,719 --> 00:12:52,852 Cut him off on the other side. 333 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:53,953 I'm cutting him off on the other side! 334 00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:54,953 Tell me what you doin'. 335 00:12:56,889 --> 00:12:58,624 Stop, or I'll shoot! 336 00:12:58,692 --> 00:13:00,893 I said stop! 337 00:13:04,998 --> 00:13:06,898 Oh, god, no! 338 00:13:06,966 --> 00:13:09,668 Aah! 339 00:13:09,735 --> 00:13:10,835 Ohh! 340 00:13:10,903 --> 00:13:13,338 oh, it burns! 341 00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:23,644 - Uh-huh. Oh, great. He got away! 342 00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:24,912 Good job. 343 00:13:24,979 --> 00:13:27,614 He got away because of your driving, grandma. 344 00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,816 Oh, I beg your pardon. Hannah montana! 345 00:13:29,883 --> 00:13:31,917 Oh! I'm sorry. Are you hard of hearing? 346 00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,818 You know what? This is why you have hardly any friends. 347 00:13:33,885 --> 00:13:35,252 Looks like I have one less now. 348 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,819 Do I look like I'm crying? 349 00:13:36,887 --> 00:13:38,720 These are not tears! 350 00:13:38,787 --> 00:13:41,288 This is self-inflicted friendly fire, okay? 351 00:13:41,356 --> 00:13:43,056 That's what happens to children! 352 00:13:43,124 --> 00:13:45,393 You have no idea what I've been through today! 353 00:13:45,461 --> 00:13:46,994 I've gotta pay for this! 354 00:13:47,062 --> 00:13:48,996 Excuse me...I have to go to the bathroom. 355 00:13:49,064 --> 00:13:50,497 I'll give you the rest of these chocolate-covered raisins 356 00:13:50,565 --> 00:13:52,132 If you save my seat. 357 00:13:59,675 --> 00:14:00,976 I don't want you to feel judged by this, 358 00:14:01,044 --> 00:14:03,479 But your handling of this job has disappointed me. 359 00:14:03,547 --> 00:14:05,147 I mean, your high-speed pursuit 360 00:14:05,215 --> 00:14:07,950 Caused $78 dollars worth of damages. 361 00:14:08,018 --> 00:14:10,653 And you didn't even get a statement out of mr. Winger? 362 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,988 - He got away. - He ran between two poles. 363 00:14:13,056 --> 00:14:14,990 Well, I see how that would be frustrating, 364 00:14:15,057 --> 00:14:16,624 - But the fact is... - Your ass is on the line. 365 00:14:16,692 --> 00:14:18,325 My ass is on the line. 366 00:14:18,393 --> 00:14:19,660 You just got off the phone with the mayor. 367 00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:21,128 I just got off the phone with the-- 368 00:14:21,196 --> 00:14:22,562 What? The mayor? Stop doing that! 369 00:14:22,630 --> 00:14:24,398 I'm trying to help. You're not doing this right. 370 00:14:24,465 --> 00:14:25,499 Well, maybe you should do it. 371 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,269 I'm sick and tired 372 00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:31,736 Of making excuses for you two! 373 00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:33,505 You're an embarrassment to the department! 374 00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:35,140 You're off the case and off the force. 375 00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:36,975 Your badges, your windbreakers, now. 376 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:39,811 Now! I ain't got all day! 377 00:14:39,878 --> 00:14:41,946 Agitated my sciatica. 378 00:14:42,013 --> 00:14:44,848 I'm too old for this! Now get out of my sight. 379 00:14:44,916 --> 00:14:46,583 Thought you were bad-asses, huh? 380 00:14:46,651 --> 00:14:48,819 Real bad-asses work together. 381 00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:50,254 Hmm? 382 00:14:50,321 --> 00:14:52,189 All I see is a housewife and a girl scout. 383 00:14:52,256 --> 00:14:53,823 - Hey! - Abed! 384 00:14:53,891 --> 00:14:56,325 I said get out! 385 00:14:56,392 --> 00:14:58,326 And don't even think about getting near this case. 386 00:14:58,394 --> 00:15:00,661 Uh-uh! 387 00:15:00,728 --> 00:15:02,095 Pretty harsh. 388 00:15:02,163 --> 00:15:03,997 Oh, don't worry. That's what they needed. 389 00:15:06,733 --> 00:15:07,766 Well, that was embarrassing. 390 00:15:07,834 --> 00:15:09,101 I know. 391 00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:10,802 That african-american police chief character 392 00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:12,337 Abed was playing was right. 393 00:15:12,404 --> 00:15:14,038 We should have worked as a team. 394 00:15:14,106 --> 00:15:16,006 I don't know about you. 395 00:15:16,074 --> 00:15:17,542 I don't need a badge to finish this. 396 00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:19,381 I say we nail winger to the wall. 397 00:15:19,449 --> 00:15:20,384 Together? 398 00:15:20,452 --> 00:15:21,485 Together. 399 00:15:23,221 --> 00:15:24,955 How do you spell "testicles"? 400 00:15:25,023 --> 00:15:27,556 - Nice frame job, britta-dict arnold. 401 00:15:27,624 --> 00:15:29,524 Ohh! Colonial burn. 402 00:15:29,592 --> 00:15:30,592 Come on, jeff. 403 00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:32,027 Where is that trademark gift for levity? 404 00:15:32,094 --> 00:15:33,495 Well, well, well. 405 00:15:33,563 --> 00:15:34,797 Look who we found. 406 00:15:34,864 --> 00:15:36,731 Yes, how foolish of me to hide 407 00:15:36,799 --> 00:15:39,367 In my regularly scheduled study group. 408 00:15:39,435 --> 00:15:41,469 Jeff, ahem, let's just do this the easy way. 409 00:15:41,536 --> 00:15:42,970 Confess. 410 00:15:43,038 --> 00:15:44,373 Britta's the one who threw that body out the window, 411 00:15:44,441 --> 00:15:45,541 And I can prove it. 412 00:15:45,609 --> 00:15:46,842 How? 413 00:15:46,910 --> 00:15:48,010 Britta was going to put a frog 414 00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:50,044 Wearing a sombrero on chang's desk 415 00:15:50,112 --> 00:15:51,479 Because that's the kind of thing 416 00:15:51,547 --> 00:15:52,714 She thinks is funny. 417 00:15:52,781 --> 00:15:53,748 Don't you, britta? 418 00:15:53,816 --> 00:15:55,049 No. 419 00:15:55,117 --> 00:15:57,518 Then why is there a photo on your facebook page 420 00:15:57,586 --> 00:16:00,155 Of a cat wearing a necktie? 421 00:16:00,222 --> 00:16:02,991 Pff! It's my cat. 422 00:16:03,059 --> 00:16:05,596 And the tie makes him... 423 00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:07,264 Formal. 424 00:16:07,332 --> 00:16:11,168 This investigation is going nowhere. 425 00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:12,502 You need a psychic. 426 00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:13,870 Perfect. 427 00:16:13,938 --> 00:16:17,308 Um...This process may alarm you. 428 00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,880 Ooh! Gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay. 429 00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:24,014 So gay. 430 00:16:25,116 --> 00:16:27,218 Dark nightclub. 431 00:16:28,987 --> 00:16:31,455 Throbbing music. 432 00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,958 Men's roo-- men's room stall. 433 00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:36,627 Penis! 434 00:16:36,695 --> 00:16:38,262 Two penises! 435 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:41,231 Agh, this is gay! It's so gay! 436 00:16:41,299 --> 00:16:42,265 Uggh! 437 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,769 - Pierce! - What? 438 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,137 Sit down! 439 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,572 - - - we'll take it from here. 440 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,575 Jeff, where were you last night? 441 00:16:49,643 --> 00:16:51,309 - At a bar. - Called it! 442 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:52,978 - Who can confirm that? - Your mama. 443 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,580 - What?! - Well, I'm-- 444 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:55,580 - Uhh! - Ohh! 445 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,249 Uhh! 446 00:16:57,318 --> 00:16:58,752 What the hell, annie? 447 00:16:58,819 --> 00:17:00,153 Her name's not annie. It's psycho. 448 00:17:00,221 --> 00:17:01,988 And if I were you, I'd tell her what she wants to hear. 449 00:17:02,056 --> 00:17:04,423 That's right, because if I have to hand you off to shirley, 450 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:07,093 You're gonna enter a kitchen of pain. 451 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,093 Uhh! 452 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,462 Guys, stop it! 453 00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:11,231 Stop it. I did it. 454 00:17:11,299 --> 00:17:13,333 I framed jeff. 455 00:17:13,401 --> 00:17:15,268 I'm sorry, jeff. 456 00:17:15,336 --> 00:17:16,636 But why? 457 00:17:16,704 --> 00:17:18,438 Because I'm a buzz kill, that's why. 458 00:17:18,506 --> 00:17:19,773 Because... 459 00:17:19,841 --> 00:17:21,975 That's who I am. That's my role. 460 00:17:22,043 --> 00:17:25,345 You guys, you create fun, and I destroy it. 461 00:17:25,413 --> 00:17:27,914 Of course a silly little joke ends with a-- 462 00:17:27,982 --> 00:17:29,249 A dead body on the lawn. 463 00:17:29,317 --> 00:17:30,250 I should have known that. 464 00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:31,418 But I wanted to do it anyway, 465 00:17:31,486 --> 00:17:32,686 'cause I wanted to be like you. 466 00:17:32,754 --> 00:17:34,154 I wanted to be funny. 467 00:17:34,222 --> 00:17:35,754 Knock knock! 468 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,021 Who's there? 469 00:17:37,089 --> 00:17:38,120 Cancer! 470 00:17:38,188 --> 00:17:40,518 Oh, good! Come on in! 471 00:17:40,586 --> 00:17:41,786 I thought it was britta! 472 00:17:41,854 --> 00:17:44,855 well...Britta... 473 00:17:44,923 --> 00:17:48,291 I actually want to be taken more seriously. 474 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:51,694 The only reason I slammed jeff's head against the table 475 00:17:51,762 --> 00:17:55,464 Was because I wanted to feel like an adult. 476 00:17:55,531 --> 00:17:56,931 like shirley! 477 00:17:56,999 --> 00:17:58,199 ohh. 478 00:17:58,266 --> 00:18:00,534 And I wanted to feel younger, like annie. 479 00:18:00,602 --> 00:18:01,935 You know, it's not that I'm really old, 480 00:18:02,003 --> 00:18:03,170 'cause people don't know how young I really am. 481 00:18:03,237 --> 00:18:04,438 See, I'm doing it again. 482 00:18:04,506 --> 00:18:06,306 I hate that I obsess about my age. 483 00:18:06,374 --> 00:18:07,841 I know! 484 00:18:07,909 --> 00:18:10,043 I wish I was really magic. 485 00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:11,777 You know you're not? 486 00:18:11,844 --> 00:18:13,511 Yeah. 487 00:18:13,579 --> 00:18:16,681 Somebody must have sent these robes by accident. 488 00:18:16,749 --> 00:18:17,982 I only pretended I was level six 489 00:18:18,050 --> 00:18:19,450 To impress you guys. 490 00:18:19,518 --> 00:18:21,952 I got held back! 491 00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:23,453 Ohh! 492 00:18:23,521 --> 00:18:26,056 I don't even deserve this buddhist meteor wand. 493 00:18:26,124 --> 00:18:27,524 Ohh. 494 00:18:27,592 --> 00:18:30,060 it's not a meteor! 495 00:18:30,128 --> 00:18:31,361 It's a cookie wand! 496 00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:34,297 Me and jeff made it 497 00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:37,066 Because it made you look more like the cookie crisp wizard. 498 00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:39,134 Which is not even a reference I get 499 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,002 Because the cookie crisp mascot 500 00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:42,803 Wasn't a wizard when I was a kid. 501 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,171 It was a burglar. 502 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,041 I just... Pretended like I knew 503 00:18:48,109 --> 00:18:50,310 Because I wanted jeff to think I was smart. 504 00:18:50,377 --> 00:18:52,779 - Ohh! - Ohh! 505 00:18:52,847 --> 00:18:54,914 Great, I did again! 506 00:18:54,982 --> 00:18:56,416 I killed the buzz. 507 00:19:00,654 --> 00:19:02,622 Look, um... 508 00:19:02,689 --> 00:19:05,691 Maybe...Maybe "buzz kill" 509 00:19:05,759 --> 00:19:07,559 Is a bad choice of words. 510 00:19:07,627 --> 00:19:09,594 What's a good choice of words? 511 00:19:09,662 --> 00:19:13,164 Look, I have no-- um, uh... 512 00:19:13,232 --> 00:19:14,332 You're--you're-- 513 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,534 You're like the dark cloud that unites us. 514 00:19:16,602 --> 00:19:17,769 Ohh. 515 00:19:17,836 --> 00:19:19,837 - Or the anti -winger. 516 00:19:19,905 --> 00:19:22,106 Uh...Look, you're-- you're-- 517 00:19:22,174 --> 00:19:23,907 You're the heart of this group. 518 00:19:23,975 --> 00:19:26,378 Uh, look, I don't, um... 519 00:19:26,446 --> 00:19:28,780 I don't have a real handle on all this mushy stuff. 520 00:19:28,848 --> 00:19:33,485 If I did, then we wouldn't need you. 521 00:19:34,654 --> 00:19:36,254 britta! 522 00:19:36,322 --> 00:19:37,422 Get over here. 523 00:19:37,490 --> 00:19:38,557 Really? 524 00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:39,958 - Yes! - Yeah! Come over here! 525 00:19:43,697 --> 00:19:46,198 Let's never let jeff divide us again. 526 00:19:46,266 --> 00:19:48,534 Hey, abed... 527 00:19:48,602 --> 00:19:49,902 Why are you and I the only sane-- 528 00:19:49,970 --> 00:19:52,605 Shh! Just watch. 529 00:19:52,672 --> 00:19:53,739 It's beautiful. 530 00:19:53,807 --> 00:19:55,441 Troy, do you want a bite of my wand? 531 00:19:55,509 --> 00:19:56,509 I do. 532 00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:00,798 We really appreciate you doing this. 533 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,466 - Oh, sure. - And 3, 2, 1. 534 00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:05,035 ?T× troy and abed in the mornin' ?T× 535 00:20:05,102 --> 00:20:06,269 And we're back. Look who's here. 536 00:20:06,336 --> 00:20:07,536 Jeff winger. 537 00:20:07,604 --> 00:20:08,904 Jeff, how do you stay so fit? 538 00:20:08,972 --> 00:20:11,940 Uh, diet, exercise, genetics. 539 00:20:12,008 --> 00:20:13,908 sure, sure. 540 00:20:13,976 --> 00:20:15,175 Okay, so it seems as though we have a clip. 541 00:20:15,243 --> 00:20:16,877 You want to set it up for us? 542 00:20:16,945 --> 00:20:18,045 Uh, I'd like to, 543 00:20:18,112 --> 00:20:19,246 But I don't know what you're talking about. 544 00:20:19,313 --> 00:20:21,548 Okay, we'll just roll it. 545 00:20:21,615 --> 00:20:23,182 ooh, my name's jeff winger. 546 00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:24,350 hey, I'm jeff winger. 547 00:20:24,418 --> 00:20:25,351 I'm so tall. 548 00:20:25,418 --> 00:20:26,919 Ah, this watch is expensive. 549 00:20:26,986 --> 00:20:28,620 - Muscles are everywhere. - Oh, that was really funny. 550 00:20:28,688 --> 00:20:30,121 You guys, what's going on? Where are the cameras? 551 00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:31,489 Oh, we're not filming this. 552 00:20:31,557 --> 00:20:32,490 No, who'd want to watch this? 553 00:20:32,557 --> 00:20:34,491 Oh, guys, it's 6:00 a.M. 554 00:20:34,559 --> 00:20:35,759 Jeez! 555 00:20:37,796 --> 00:20:39,830 We're not gonna have him back. 556 00:20:41,796 --> 00:20:43,830 Sync By YesCool