1 00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:04,470 Good morning, greendale! 2 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,973 As you know, it is April fool's day. 3 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,322 Just kidding--it's the day before April fool's. 4 00:00:09,390 --> 00:00:11,198 Baba booey, baba booey, baba booey. 5 00:00:11,265 --> 00:00:14,147 You know what, leonard? Strike two! 6 00:00:16,089 --> 00:00:19,578 Anyway, just reminding you to keep any April fool's prank 7 00:00:19,646 --> 00:00:21,955 Physically safe, politically balanced, 8 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:23,593 And racially accessible. 9 00:00:23,660 --> 00:00:25,498 When in doubt, check the guidelines 10 00:00:25,565 --> 00:00:26,935 In our college pranks literature. 11 00:00:27,003 --> 00:00:30,369 i>- "guidelines for school-sanctioned pranks." 12 00:00:30,437 --> 00:00:32,268 Huh, reminds me of my favorite college comedy. 13 00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,670 - Oh, which one? - Exactly. 14 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,289 See, the dean doesn't get it. 15 00:00:36,357 --> 00:00:39,014 The point of a practical joke is to shake up the system. 16 00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:41,684 For example, who wants some of these? 17 00:00:41,752 --> 00:00:43,319 Cool, yeah. 18 00:00:46,787 --> 00:00:47,954 Looking for something? 19 00:00:48,022 --> 00:00:49,456 - Nice. - Oh! 20 00:00:49,523 --> 00:00:51,390 They allow student volunteers for campus security 21 00:00:51,458 --> 00:00:53,224 During times of heightened shenanigans. 22 00:00:53,292 --> 00:00:55,392 - Oh! - I want to be security. 23 00:00:55,459 --> 00:00:57,426 Ooh, let's do it together. We can be partners. 24 00:00:57,494 --> 00:00:59,361 That's a buddy cop movie I would watch. 25 00:00:59,429 --> 00:01:00,961 But I wonder which of you would be by the book, 26 00:01:01,029 --> 00:01:02,195 And which of you would be the bad-ass. 27 00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:04,363 Oh, abed, you're so silly. 28 00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:06,531 I'd be the bad-ass. 29 00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:08,466 Greetings, mortals! 30 00:01:08,534 --> 00:01:10,966 Morning! Snake in a can? 31 00:01:11,034 --> 00:01:12,800 Oh, no, thanks. I'm fasting. 32 00:01:12,868 --> 00:01:14,101 My buddhist church 33 00:01:14,169 --> 00:01:16,069 Is having its annual ascension ceremony, 34 00:01:16,136 --> 00:01:17,736 And I will be becoming 35 00:01:17,804 --> 00:01:21,838 A level six laser lotus. 36 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,440 I know. I was speechless too. 37 00:01:25,508 --> 00:01:27,909 Anyway, I have to detoxify for the ceremony. 38 00:01:27,977 --> 00:01:31,645 I get all the nutrients I need with salt water and honey. 39 00:01:34,448 --> 00:01:35,715 Even better if it goes down the wrong-- 40 00:01:36,984 --> 00:01:37,983 The wrong pipe. 41 00:01:38,051 --> 00:01:40,986 So what happens in level six? 42 00:01:41,053 --> 00:01:43,421 Well, nobody in my hive has ever seen a six. 43 00:01:43,488 --> 00:01:44,655 But, uh, from what I hear, 44 00:01:44,722 --> 00:01:45,922 I'll have immunity to germs, 45 00:01:45,990 --> 00:01:47,423 Heightened psychic ability, 46 00:01:47,491 --> 00:01:48,991 And improved night vision. 47 00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:50,759 i>- Any bonuses to your kombat score? 48 00:01:50,827 --> 00:01:52,827 I assume I'll fight better if I can see more. 49 00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:53,895 Dumb ass. 50 00:01:53,963 --> 00:01:56,363 Hey, pierce, I just remembered. 51 00:01:56,431 --> 00:01:59,300 Right before you got here, some guy was delivering 52 00:01:59,368 --> 00:02:01,235 Level six ceremonial robes? 53 00:02:01,303 --> 00:02:03,470 What?! Why didn't you tell me? 54 00:02:03,538 --> 00:02:05,139 Maybe if you run, you can catch him. 55 00:02:05,206 --> 00:02:08,941 Way to use your brain, winger. 56 00:02:09,008 --> 00:02:11,309 Abed, how fast can you run to the theater department? 57 00:02:11,376 --> 00:02:12,742 37 seconds. 58 00:02:12,810 --> 00:02:14,243 Don't come back without something ridiculous. Go. 59 00:02:14,311 --> 00:02:16,779 Got it. 60 00:02:16,846 --> 00:02:19,514 Guys, you realize you're exploiting the naivete 61 00:02:19,582 --> 00:02:22,283 Of a man who is being brainwashed by a cult? 62 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,918 i>- Oh, well, it sounds a lot less fun when you say it. 63 00:02:24,986 --> 00:02:27,220 Everything does. She's a buzz kill. 64 00:02:27,287 --> 00:02:28,854 I'm not a buzz kill. 65 00:02:28,922 --> 00:02:30,088 - Mm. - Mm-hmm. 66 00:02:30,156 --> 00:02:31,323 Yeah, that doesn't really describe it. 67 00:02:31,390 --> 00:02:33,324 You're more of a fun vampire, 68 00:02:33,392 --> 00:02:36,093 Because you don't suck blood, you just suck. 69 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,261 He wasn't there. 70 00:02:38,329 --> 00:02:40,097 Oh, I think abed found him. 71 00:02:40,165 --> 00:02:42,198 Hey, give me that. 72 00:02:46,735 --> 00:02:48,969 Ohh. It's amazing. 73 00:02:49,037 --> 00:02:50,470 Wow! 74 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,872 It is absolutely gorgeous. 75 00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:54,206 How do I look? 76 00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:55,340 Yeah? 77 00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,809 - Magical. - Great. 78 00:03:00,512 --> 00:03:02,646 Of course, the only one who doesn't like this is britta. 79 00:03:02,714 --> 00:03:05,182 Do you ever get tired of being a buzz kill? 80 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:07,351 ?T× I can't count ?T× 81 00:03:07,419 --> 00:03:10,555 ?T× the reasons I should stay ?T× 82 00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:15,025 This is gonna be exciting, ladies. 83 00:03:15,093 --> 00:03:17,392 I hereby deputize you 84 00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:20,661 As campus security for 48 hours. 85 00:03:20,729 --> 00:03:21,862 Your windbreakers. 86 00:03:24,532 --> 00:03:26,100 Your whistles. 87 00:03:29,870 --> 00:03:31,537 Oh! Oh, okay. 88 00:03:34,741 --> 00:03:37,742 Okay, now, I only have the one pepper spray. 89 00:03:37,810 --> 00:03:38,910 It's mine. 90 00:03:38,978 --> 00:03:40,311 But I'll just get my groceries 91 00:03:40,379 --> 00:03:41,479 In a better neighborhood this week. 92 00:03:41,546 --> 00:03:42,980 I'll carry it. 93 00:03:43,047 --> 00:03:45,748 Between the two of us, I'm sort of the bad-ass. 94 00:03:45,816 --> 00:03:47,683 You are? Uh, how do you figure? 95 00:03:47,751 --> 00:03:49,584 I don't know, shirley. How did you figure I wasn't? 96 00:03:49,652 --> 00:03:51,719 I guess I didn't figure because I was too busy 97 00:03:51,787 --> 00:03:53,053 Being the obvious bad-ass. 98 00:03:53,121 --> 00:03:55,422 Sounds like we're both pretty convinced. 99 00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:57,524 I guess we'll find out who's right once we're on the job. 100 00:03:57,591 --> 00:03:58,925 Hmm, I guess we will. 101 00:03:58,992 --> 00:04:01,360 I'm sorry, what is going on here? 102 00:04:01,428 --> 00:04:02,361 A twist on a classic formula. 103 00:04:02,429 --> 00:04:03,662 Normally, with buddy cops, 104 00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:04,763 One's a straight-laced stickler, 105 00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:05,997 And the other's a renegade. 106 00:04:06,065 --> 00:04:08,399 But these two have equal claim to both roles. 107 00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:09,833 And why are you here? 108 00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,667 Well, short answer: 109 00:04:11,735 --> 00:04:13,369 My cable went out. 110 00:04:15,671 --> 00:04:18,238 hey... Can I run something by you? 111 00:04:18,306 --> 00:04:20,573 ?T× I was thinking of pulling a little prank tonight ?T× 112 00:04:20,641 --> 00:04:21,607 All right. 113 00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:23,309 For April fool's, a prank. 114 00:04:23,376 --> 00:04:25,277 So you know how they have live frogs 115 00:04:25,344 --> 00:04:26,411 In the anatomy lab? 116 00:04:26,478 --> 00:04:27,745 Oh, yeah. 117 00:04:27,813 --> 00:04:30,014 So I was gonna sneak in there, get a frog, 118 00:04:30,082 --> 00:04:31,148 And then tomorrow, 119 00:04:31,216 --> 00:04:32,883 When se?±or chang's class is coming in, 120 00:04:32,951 --> 00:04:35,120 There will be a frog on his desk 121 00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:38,057 Wearing... 122 00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:40,125 Ta da! 123 00:04:42,861 --> 00:04:44,295 Oh, you're done. 124 00:04:44,363 --> 00:04:45,530 Did you read the hat? 125 00:04:45,597 --> 00:04:47,631 - Se?±or chang. - Yeah. 126 00:04:47,699 --> 00:04:49,733 Oh, you don't get it. 127 00:04:49,801 --> 00:04:52,969 - I guess I don't. - The frog is chang. 128 00:04:53,037 --> 00:04:54,804 Okay, I did get it. It's funny. 129 00:04:54,871 --> 00:04:57,239 I know it's funny. Oh, wait, I forgot-- 130 00:04:57,307 --> 00:04:59,908 It's not your kind of joke. It's not at anyone's expense. 131 00:04:59,976 --> 00:05:01,943 Britta, why waste your time envying my gift for levity 132 00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:03,411 When there's so much you could be doing 133 00:05:03,479 --> 00:05:04,912 With your natural talent for severity? 134 00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:06,046 You know what? 135 00:05:06,114 --> 00:05:08,482 My prank is gonna cause a sea of laughter, 136 00:05:08,549 --> 00:05:10,250 And I am gonna watch you drown in it. 137 00:05:10,318 --> 00:05:12,152 That a girl! 138 00:05:15,090 --> 00:05:16,390 Seven. 139 00:05:16,458 --> 00:05:18,626 That's right. 140 00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:20,562 Jeff, I can read minds. 141 00:05:20,630 --> 00:05:22,097 No way. 142 00:05:22,165 --> 00:05:24,765 What color am I thinking of? 143 00:05:24,833 --> 00:05:25,764 Pink? 144 00:05:25,832 --> 00:05:28,433 What the hey? 145 00:05:28,501 --> 00:05:29,901 Must be the robe. 146 00:05:29,968 --> 00:05:30,901 Yeah. 147 00:05:30,969 --> 00:05:32,770 Hey...Cookie crisp. 148 00:05:32,837 --> 00:05:33,937 Cookie crisp. 149 00:05:34,005 --> 00:05:35,105 Is he talking to me? 150 00:05:35,172 --> 00:05:36,406 i>- No. No. 151 00:05:36,474 --> 00:05:38,941 Hey, pierce, that guy came back that brought your robes 152 00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:42,144 And said he forgot to deliver...This. 153 00:05:42,212 --> 00:05:43,645 What is it? 154 00:05:43,713 --> 00:05:45,680 He said it focuses your powers? 155 00:05:54,288 --> 00:05:55,654 Is that a cookie? 156 00:05:57,824 --> 00:05:59,424 Maybe it's a piece of meteor. 157 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,459 Buddha arrived on a meteor! 158 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,327 When was the last time he ate? 159 00:06:03,394 --> 00:06:05,896 I am the coolest guy 160 00:06:05,963 --> 00:06:08,331 In the world. 161 00:06:24,380 --> 00:06:26,281 Ugh. Hello, mr. Frog. 162 00:06:26,348 --> 00:06:28,950 Can I just borrow you for a second? 163 00:06:32,287 --> 00:06:35,121 "I'm se?±or chang." 164 00:06:35,189 --> 00:06:37,623 Now tell me that's not funny. 165 00:06:37,691 --> 00:06:39,123 aah! Oh! 166 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,558 Wait! 167 00:06:40,626 --> 00:06:43,495 here froggy, here froggy. 168 00:06:43,563 --> 00:06:46,097 Here froggy. 169 00:06:50,068 --> 00:06:51,335 now real quiet. 170 00:06:52,937 --> 00:06:54,904 Aah! 171 00:06:57,107 --> 00:06:58,707 Oh, no. Oh, no. 172 00:07:02,444 --> 00:07:03,544 Yaaah! 173 00:07:03,612 --> 00:07:05,412 ohh. 174 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:06,546 aah! 175 00:07:08,414 --> 00:07:09,547 Oh, that's horrible. 176 00:07:09,615 --> 00:07:12,081 Oh, god, that's horrible! 177 00:07:12,149 --> 00:07:14,151 Someone dropped a dead body out that window. 178 00:07:20,652 --> 00:07:21,986 Is this was a brand-new sign, so... 179 00:07:22,054 --> 00:07:23,321 I just don't want this to tarnish 180 00:07:23,388 --> 00:07:24,789 Our school's reputation. 181 00:07:24,857 --> 00:07:26,157 Don't worry, your school's reputation 182 00:07:26,225 --> 00:07:27,325 Is way worse than this. 183 00:07:27,393 --> 00:07:28,727 oh... 184 00:07:28,794 --> 00:07:30,128 Here's our campus security. 185 00:07:30,196 --> 00:07:31,296 Yeah, just stop right there. 186 00:07:31,364 --> 00:07:33,065 Oh, ladies, don't pull up on that-- 187 00:07:33,132 --> 00:07:34,333 Ooh. 188 00:07:36,837 --> 00:07:37,770 Oh, annie. 189 00:07:37,838 --> 00:07:39,005 Mornin', boys. 190 00:07:39,073 --> 00:07:41,074 I'm annie edison. 191 00:07:41,141 --> 00:07:42,341 People call me "psycho" 192 00:07:42,409 --> 00:07:43,743 Because I had a nervous breakdown in high school. 193 00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,078 My partner's a christian housewife. 194 00:07:46,145 --> 00:07:47,078 Can we help you? 195 00:07:47,146 --> 00:07:49,747 Actually, can we not help you? 196 00:07:49,815 --> 00:07:51,182 I tend to play by my own rules. 197 00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:53,484 She loves rules. I only have one. 198 00:07:53,552 --> 00:07:56,720 Stay out of my way. 199 00:07:58,389 --> 00:08:00,957 Stay out of mine more. 200 00:08:01,024 --> 00:08:03,292 You know what? This is misdemeanor vandalism. 201 00:08:03,359 --> 00:08:05,527 You ladies can take care of it yourselves. 202 00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:08,996 Oh, wait. 203 00:08:09,064 --> 00:08:10,297 Wait, wait, wait-- what? 204 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:11,432 Call us when you find a perp. 205 00:08:11,499 --> 00:08:13,033 yeah, we'll be waiting. 206 00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,301 Ohh. 207 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:15,502 - You go. - I'm about to. 208 00:08:15,569 --> 00:08:17,203 Now look what you have done! 209 00:08:17,271 --> 00:08:18,705 Tell them they got 24 hours to solve the case. 210 00:08:18,773 --> 00:08:21,474 They do! You have 24 hours to solve it, or else. 211 00:08:21,541 --> 00:08:23,976 Figure it out! 212 00:08:25,278 --> 00:08:26,778 That's the poster. 213 00:08:26,846 --> 00:08:29,047 Well, this is the part of my job 214 00:08:29,115 --> 00:08:30,649 That I enjoy the least. 215 00:08:30,716 --> 00:08:33,117 The part where I inform you that, last night, 216 00:08:33,185 --> 00:08:36,987 Someone murdered a partially clothed animal 217 00:08:37,054 --> 00:08:40,455 And threw a human corpse out a window. 218 00:08:40,522 --> 00:08:42,523 And you can thank the person that did it, 219 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:44,692 A person that may be in this room, 220 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,661 For the fact that, from now on, 221 00:08:46,728 --> 00:08:49,296 April fool's day is banished, okay? 222 00:08:49,364 --> 00:08:51,699 At greendale, April 1st 223 00:08:51,767 --> 00:08:54,902 Is officially March 32nd, forever! 224 00:08:54,970 --> 00:08:56,804 How do you know it was one of us? 225 00:08:56,872 --> 00:09:00,473 Well, if I may answer a question with a question, 226 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:04,243 Why are you dressed like a wizard? 227 00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:09,147 Okay, is he having a stroke? 228 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,249 I'll tell you how I know! 229 00:09:11,316 --> 00:09:13,717 Security officers bennett and edison 230 00:09:13,785 --> 00:09:17,355 Found this at the scene, hmm? 231 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:19,757 This little hat says "chang" on it. 232 00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:21,259 And we ruled out your teacher, 233 00:09:21,326 --> 00:09:23,260 Because he has a crippling fear of frogs. 234 00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:26,063 I told you that in confidence! 235 00:09:26,131 --> 00:09:29,600 How about whoever did this just fesses up? 236 00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:37,275 All right, that wasn't just a cadaver 237 00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:38,277 That was thrown out that window. 238 00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:39,545 It was a person. 239 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:42,048 With family and friends. 240 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:45,450 And for every day that nobody confesses, 241 00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:48,617 This class will be meeting one of them, hmm? 242 00:09:48,685 --> 00:09:50,586 Glenda! Oh, I apologize. 243 00:09:50,654 --> 00:09:52,287 Can you come on in here, hmm? 244 00:09:52,355 --> 00:09:53,288 Yes. 245 00:09:53,355 --> 00:09:55,289 And tell us about your son. 246 00:09:55,357 --> 00:09:57,557 Oh, yes. Hello, everyone. 247 00:09:57,625 --> 00:09:58,591 Hello. 248 00:09:58,659 --> 00:10:00,059 Hello, glenda. 249 00:10:00,127 --> 00:10:02,929 Oh. There, heh. 250 00:10:02,997 --> 00:10:05,598 Harry was a wonderful man. 251 00:10:05,665 --> 00:10:07,900 He kept a dream journal. 252 00:10:07,967 --> 00:10:10,101 Page one. 253 00:10:10,169 --> 00:10:12,637 "I had that dream again 254 00:10:12,705 --> 00:10:14,472 "where I'm in a forest. 255 00:10:14,539 --> 00:10:17,941 But the trees are pencils." 256 00:10:20,243 --> 00:10:22,077 Hey. 257 00:10:22,145 --> 00:10:23,379 - Impressive. - Ohh. 258 00:10:23,446 --> 00:10:24,747 And hilarious. 259 00:10:24,814 --> 00:10:26,281 You gonna 'fess up, weirdo? 260 00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:29,184 Look, it wasn't me. 261 00:10:29,252 --> 00:10:31,254 And even if it was, 262 00:10:31,322 --> 00:10:33,023 This was an accident. 263 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,291 I knew it. Nicely done. 264 00:10:34,359 --> 00:10:35,893 If I come forward, 265 00:10:35,961 --> 00:10:37,128 It's gonna play into the whole 266 00:10:37,195 --> 00:10:38,895 "britta's a buzz kill" mythology. 267 00:10:38,963 --> 00:10:40,597 Well, the toe tag fits, britta. 268 00:10:40,664 --> 00:10:44,601 I mean, you single-handedly killed an entire school's buzz, 269 00:10:44,668 --> 00:10:45,802 Not to mention a frog. 270 00:10:45,869 --> 00:10:47,403 And according to glenda, cadaver harry 271 00:10:47,471 --> 00:10:49,271 Had 13 nieces and nephews 272 00:10:49,339 --> 00:10:50,539 That I'm not interested in meeting. 273 00:10:50,607 --> 00:10:52,875 So you better think about coming clean 274 00:10:52,942 --> 00:10:54,977 Or I'm just gonna tell everybody you did it. 275 00:11:01,053 --> 00:11:02,687 - Star-burns doesn't do very much. 276 00:11:02,754 --> 00:11:03,920 I guess fascinating people 277 00:11:03,988 --> 00:11:05,654 Don't resort to growing shapes on their faces. 278 00:11:05,722 --> 00:11:07,890 He makes one false move, and I'm gonna go shirley on him. 279 00:11:07,957 --> 00:11:10,559 That's what my high school friends called crazy. 280 00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:12,494 Yeah? Are you gonna go shirlier than I did 281 00:11:12,561 --> 00:11:13,762 When I got addicted to pills? 282 00:11:13,829 --> 00:11:16,330 Why are you so concerned with being a bad-ass? 283 00:11:16,398 --> 00:11:18,766 Maybe I'm tired of everyone thinking of me as a little girl. 284 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,334 Maybe I wanna be in charge of how I'm defined. 285 00:11:20,401 --> 00:11:22,235 Well, how do you think I feel? 286 00:11:22,303 --> 00:11:23,837 You have two kids, and they stick you in the margins. 287 00:11:23,904 --> 00:11:26,338 I'm not done yet. I still got moves. 288 00:11:26,406 --> 00:11:27,673 I haven't even started yet. 289 00:11:27,740 --> 00:11:29,674 I've got moves I haven't even seen before. 290 00:11:32,777 --> 00:11:33,877 Blocked call. 291 00:11:33,945 --> 00:11:34,944 Ooh. 292 00:11:35,012 --> 00:11:36,379 Edison. 293 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,047 the man you're looking for 294 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,115 Is jeff winger. 295 00:11:40,183 --> 00:11:41,883 - Jeff winger. - Who is this? 296 00:11:43,719 --> 00:11:45,253 I didn't recognize the voice. 297 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,888 They say jeff winger's our man. 298 00:11:46,955 --> 00:11:48,022 Oh! 299 00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:49,990 Drop 'em if you smoke 'em. 300 00:11:50,058 --> 00:11:51,558 - Cut to action sequence. - Let's roll. 301 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,594 Security comin' through. 302 00:11:55,896 --> 00:11:58,632 mr. Winger. 303 00:11:58,699 --> 00:12:00,968 Cagney, lacey. What can I do you for? 304 00:12:01,035 --> 00:12:03,070 Just doing a routine search. 305 00:12:03,138 --> 00:12:04,571 What is this? What do you have here? 306 00:12:04,639 --> 00:12:06,173 - That's my chest. - Why don't you spread 'em? 307 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,008 - Huh? - Okay. Guys... 308 00:12:08,076 --> 00:12:09,142 - I can pat. - I can pat too. 309 00:12:09,210 --> 00:12:10,243 I can do it too. 310 00:12:10,311 --> 00:12:12,378 So, uh, what do you got in the bag? 311 00:12:12,446 --> 00:12:15,081 - Yeah. - What the-- 312 00:12:15,149 --> 00:12:17,317 Let's see what we have here. 313 00:12:17,385 --> 00:12:19,653 Holy mary, mother of pearl. 314 00:12:19,721 --> 00:12:21,421 What do we have here? 315 00:12:21,489 --> 00:12:22,689 Looks like enough tiny items 316 00:12:22,757 --> 00:12:24,524 To equip an amphibious mariachi band. 317 00:12:24,592 --> 00:12:25,725 Of frogs. 318 00:12:25,793 --> 00:12:27,326 - That is not my stuff. - Hmm. 319 00:12:27,394 --> 00:12:29,360 Britta. Britta planted that. 320 00:12:29,428 --> 00:12:30,694 Sure she did. 321 00:12:30,762 --> 00:12:33,230 Tell that to what our equivalent of a judge is. 322 00:12:33,298 --> 00:12:34,331 Wha--oh! 323 00:12:34,399 --> 00:12:36,167 What? 324 00:12:36,234 --> 00:12:37,736 Ooh, he's getting away! 325 00:12:37,804 --> 00:12:39,572 Oh, stop! I'm not gonna like you! 326 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,407 - Go, go! - Come on. 327 00:12:44,912 --> 00:12:47,446 Okay, he's right there. You gotta go faster! 328 00:12:47,514 --> 00:12:49,448 what are these doing here? 329 00:12:49,515 --> 00:12:50,482 He's getting away! 330 00:12:50,550 --> 00:12:51,483 Go after him on foot. 331 00:12:51,551 --> 00:12:52,651 I'm going after him on foot. 332 00:12:52,719 --> 00:12:53,852 Cut him off on the other side. 333 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:54,953 I'm cutting him off on the other side! 334 00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:55,953 Tell me what you doin'. 335 00:12:57,889 --> 00:12:59,624 Stop, or I'll shoot! 336 00:12:59,692 --> 00:13:01,893 I said stop! 337 00:13:05,998 --> 00:13:07,898 Oh, god, no! 338 00:13:07,966 --> 00:13:10,668 Aah! 339 00:13:10,735 --> 00:13:11,835 Ohh! 340 00:13:11,903 --> 00:13:14,338 oh, it burns! 341 00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:24,644 - Uh-huh. Oh, great. He got away! 342 00:13:24,711 --> 00:13:25,912 Good job. 343 00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:28,614 He got away because of your driving, grandma. 344 00:13:28,681 --> 00:13:30,816 Oh, I beg your pardon. Hannah montana! 345 00:13:30,883 --> 00:13:32,917 Oh! I'm sorry. Are you hard of hearing? 346 00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:34,818 You know what? This is why you have hardly any friends. 347 00:13:34,885 --> 00:13:36,252 Looks like I have one less now. 348 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:37,819 Do I look like I'm crying? 349 00:13:37,887 --> 00:13:39,720 These are not tears! 350 00:13:39,787 --> 00:13:42,288 This is self-inflicted friendly fire, okay? 351 00:13:42,356 --> 00:13:44,056 That's what happens to children! 352 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,393 You have no idea what I've been through today! 353 00:13:46,461 --> 00:13:47,994 I've gotta pay for this! 354 00:13:48,062 --> 00:13:49,996 Excuse me...I have to go to the bathroom. 355 00:13:50,064 --> 00:13:51,497 I'll give you the rest of these chocolate-covered raisins 356 00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,132 If you save my seat. 357 00:14:00,675 --> 00:14:01,976 I don't want you to feel judged by this, 358 00:14:02,044 --> 00:14:04,479 But your handling of this job has disappointed me. 359 00:14:04,547 --> 00:14:06,147 I mean, your high-speed pursuit 360 00:14:06,215 --> 00:14:08,950 Caused $78 dollars worth of damages. 361 00:14:09,018 --> 00:14:11,653 And you didn't even get a statement out of mr. Winger? 362 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,988 - He got away. - He ran between two poles. 363 00:14:14,056 --> 00:14:15,990 Well, I see how that would be frustrating, 364 00:14:16,057 --> 00:14:17,624 - But the fact is... - Your ass is on the line. 365 00:14:17,692 --> 00:14:19,325 My ass is on the line. 366 00:14:19,393 --> 00:14:20,660 You just got off the phone with the mayor. 367 00:14:20,728 --> 00:14:22,128 I just got off the phone with the-- 368 00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:23,562 What? The mayor? Stop doing that! 369 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,398 I'm trying to help. You're not doing this right. 370 00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:26,499 Well, maybe you should do it. 371 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,269 I'm sick and tired 372 00:14:31,336 --> 00:14:32,736 Of making excuses for you two! 373 00:14:32,804 --> 00:14:34,505 You're an embarrassment to the department! 374 00:14:34,572 --> 00:14:36,140 You're off the case and off the force. 375 00:14:36,207 --> 00:14:37,975 Your badges, your windbreakers, now. 376 00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:40,811 Now! I ain't got all day! 377 00:14:40,878 --> 00:14:42,946 Agitated my sciatica. 378 00:14:43,013 --> 00:14:45,848 I'm too old for this! Now get out of my sight. 379 00:14:45,916 --> 00:14:47,583 Thought you were bad-asses, huh? 380 00:14:47,651 --> 00:14:49,819 Real bad-asses work together. 381 00:14:49,887 --> 00:14:51,254 Hmm? 382 00:14:51,321 --> 00:14:53,189 All I see is a housewife and a girl scout. 383 00:14:53,256 --> 00:14:54,823 - Hey! - Abed! 384 00:14:54,891 --> 00:14:57,325 I said get out! 385 00:14:57,392 --> 00:14:59,326 And don't even think about getting near this case. 386 00:14:59,394 --> 00:15:01,661 Uh-uh! 387 00:15:01,728 --> 00:15:03,095 Pretty harsh. 388 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,997 Oh, don't worry. That's what they needed. 389 00:15:07,733 --> 00:15:08,766 Well, that was embarrassing. 390 00:15:08,834 --> 00:15:10,101 I know. 391 00:15:10,169 --> 00:15:11,802 That african-american police chief character 392 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,337 Abed was playing was right. 393 00:15:13,404 --> 00:15:15,038 We should have worked as a team. 394 00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:17,006 I don't know about you. 395 00:15:17,074 --> 00:15:18,542 I don't need a badge to finish this. 396 00:15:18,610 --> 00:15:20,381 I say we nail winger to the wall. 397 00:15:20,449 --> 00:15:21,384 Together? 398 00:15:21,452 --> 00:15:22,485 Together. 399 00:15:24,221 --> 00:15:25,955 How do you spell "testicles"? 400 00:15:26,023 --> 00:15:28,556 - Nice frame job, britta-dict arnold. 401 00:15:28,624 --> 00:15:30,524 Ohh! Colonial burn. 402 00:15:30,592 --> 00:15:31,592 Come on, jeff. 403 00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:33,027 Where is that trademark gift for levity? 404 00:15:33,094 --> 00:15:34,495 Well, well, well. 405 00:15:34,563 --> 00:15:35,797 Look who we found. 406 00:15:35,864 --> 00:15:37,731 Yes, how foolish of me to hide 407 00:15:37,799 --> 00:15:40,367 In my regularly scheduled study group. 408 00:15:40,435 --> 00:15:42,469 Jeff, ahem, let's just do this the easy way. 409 00:15:42,536 --> 00:15:43,970 Confess. 410 00:15:44,038 --> 00:15:45,373 Britta's the one who threw that body out the window, 411 00:15:45,441 --> 00:15:46,541 And I can prove it. 412 00:15:46,609 --> 00:15:47,842 How? 413 00:15:47,910 --> 00:15:49,010 Britta was going to put a frog 414 00:15:49,077 --> 00:15:51,044 Wearing a sombrero on chang's desk 415 00:15:51,112 --> 00:15:52,479 Because that's the kind of thing 416 00:15:52,547 --> 00:15:53,714 She thinks is funny. 417 00:15:53,781 --> 00:15:54,748 Don't you, britta? 418 00:15:54,816 --> 00:15:56,049 No. 419 00:15:56,117 --> 00:15:58,518 Then why is there a photo on your facebook page 420 00:15:58,586 --> 00:16:01,155 Of a cat wearing a necktie? 421 00:16:01,222 --> 00:16:03,991 Pff! It's my cat. 422 00:16:04,059 --> 00:16:06,596 And the tie makes him... 423 00:16:06,664 --> 00:16:08,264 Formal. 424 00:16:08,332 --> 00:16:12,168 This investigation is going nowhere. 425 00:16:12,236 --> 00:16:13,502 You need a psychic. 426 00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:14,870 Perfect. 427 00:16:14,938 --> 00:16:18,308 Um...This process may alarm you. 428 00:16:20,845 --> 00:16:23,880 Ooh! Gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay. 429 00:16:23,948 --> 00:16:25,014 So gay. 430 00:16:26,116 --> 00:16:28,218 Dark nightclub. 431 00:16:29,987 --> 00:16:32,455 Throbbing music. 432 00:16:32,523 --> 00:16:34,958 Men's roo-- men's room stall. 433 00:16:35,993 --> 00:16:37,627 Penis! 434 00:16:37,695 --> 00:16:39,262 Two penises! 435 00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:42,231 Agh, this is gay! It's so gay! 436 00:16:42,299 --> 00:16:43,265 Uggh! 437 00:16:43,334 --> 00:16:44,769 - Pierce! - What? 438 00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:46,137 Sit down! 439 00:16:46,205 --> 00:16:47,572 - - - we'll take it from here. 440 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,575 Jeff, where were you last night? 441 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,309 - At a bar. - Called it! 442 00:16:52,377 --> 00:16:53,978 - Who can confirm that? - Your mama. 443 00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:55,580 - What?! - Well, I'm-- 444 00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:56,580 - Uhh! - Ohh! 445 00:16:56,648 --> 00:16:58,249 Uhh! 446 00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,752 What the hell, annie? 447 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,153 Her name's not annie. It's psycho. 448 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,988 And if I were you, I'd tell her what she wants to hear. 449 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,423 That's right, because if I have to hand you off to shirley, 450 00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:08,093 You're gonna enter a kitchen of pain. 451 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,093 Uhh! 452 00:17:09,161 --> 00:17:10,462 Guys, stop it! 453 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,231 Stop it. I did it. 454 00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:14,333 I framed jeff. 455 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:16,268 I'm sorry, jeff. 456 00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,636 But why? 457 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,438 Because I'm a buzz kill, that's why. 458 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:20,773 Because... 459 00:17:20,841 --> 00:17:22,975 That's who I am. That's my role. 460 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:26,345 You guys, you create fun, and I destroy it. 461 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,914 Of course a silly little joke ends with a-- 462 00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:30,249 A dead body on the lawn. 463 00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:31,250 I should have known that. 464 00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:32,418 But I wanted to do it anyway, 465 00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:33,686 'cause I wanted to be like you. 466 00:17:33,754 --> 00:17:35,154 I wanted to be funny. 467 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,754 Knock knock! 468 00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,021 Who's there? 469 00:17:38,089 --> 00:17:39,120 Cancer! 470 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,518 Oh, good! Come on in! 471 00:17:41,586 --> 00:17:42,786 I thought it was britta! 472 00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:45,855 well...Britta... 473 00:17:45,923 --> 00:17:49,291 I actually want to be taken more seriously. 474 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:52,694 The only reason I slammed jeff's head against the table 475 00:17:52,762 --> 00:17:56,464 Was because I wanted to feel like an adult. 476 00:17:56,531 --> 00:17:57,931 like shirley! 477 00:17:57,999 --> 00:17:59,199 ohh. 478 00:17:59,266 --> 00:18:01,534 And I wanted to feel younger, like annie. 479 00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:02,935 You know, it's not that I'm really old, 480 00:18:03,003 --> 00:18:04,170 'cause people don't know how young I really am. 481 00:18:04,237 --> 00:18:05,438 See, I'm doing it again. 482 00:18:05,506 --> 00:18:07,306 I hate that I obsess about my age. 483 00:18:07,374 --> 00:18:08,841 I know! 484 00:18:08,909 --> 00:18:11,043 I wish I was really magic. 485 00:18:11,110 --> 00:18:12,777 You know you're not? 486 00:18:12,844 --> 00:18:14,511 Yeah. 487 00:18:14,579 --> 00:18:17,681 Somebody must have sent these robes by accident. 488 00:18:17,749 --> 00:18:18,982 I only pretended I was level six 489 00:18:19,050 --> 00:18:20,450 To impress you guys. 490 00:18:20,518 --> 00:18:22,952 I got held back! 491 00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,453 Ohh! 492 00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:27,056 I don't even deserve this buddhist meteor wand. 493 00:18:27,124 --> 00:18:28,524 Ohh. 494 00:18:28,592 --> 00:18:31,060 it's not a meteor! 495 00:18:31,128 --> 00:18:32,361 It's a cookie wand! 496 00:18:33,630 --> 00:18:35,297 Me and jeff made it 497 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:38,066 Because it made you look more like the cookie crisp wizard. 498 00:18:38,133 --> 00:18:40,134 Which is not even a reference I get 499 00:18:40,201 --> 00:18:42,002 Because the cookie crisp mascot 500 00:18:42,070 --> 00:18:43,803 Wasn't a wizard when I was a kid. 501 00:18:43,871 --> 00:18:45,171 It was a burglar. 502 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,041 I just... Pretended like I knew 503 00:18:49,109 --> 00:18:51,310 Because I wanted jeff to think I was smart. 504 00:18:51,377 --> 00:18:53,779 - Ohh! - Ohh! 505 00:18:53,847 --> 00:18:55,914 Great, I did again! 506 00:18:55,982 --> 00:18:57,416 I killed the buzz. 507 00:19:01,654 --> 00:19:03,622 Look, um... 508 00:19:03,689 --> 00:19:06,691 Maybe...Maybe "buzz kill" 509 00:19:06,759 --> 00:19:08,559 Is a bad choice of words. 510 00:19:08,627 --> 00:19:10,594 What's a good choice of words? 511 00:19:10,662 --> 00:19:14,164 Look, I have no-- um, uh... 512 00:19:14,232 --> 00:19:15,332 You're--you're-- 513 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,534 You're like the dark cloud that unites us. 514 00:19:17,602 --> 00:19:18,769 Ohh. 515 00:19:18,836 --> 00:19:20,837 - Or the anti -winger. 516 00:19:20,905 --> 00:19:23,106 Uh...Look, you're-- you're-- 517 00:19:23,174 --> 00:19:24,907 You're the heart of this group. 518 00:19:24,975 --> 00:19:27,378 Uh, look, I don't, um... 519 00:19:27,446 --> 00:19:29,780 I don't have a real handle on all this mushy stuff. 520 00:19:29,848 --> 00:19:34,485 If I did, then we wouldn't need you. 521 00:19:35,654 --> 00:19:37,254 britta! 522 00:19:37,322 --> 00:19:38,422 Get over here. 523 00:19:38,490 --> 00:19:39,557 Really? 524 00:19:39,625 --> 00:19:40,958 - Yes! - Yeah! Come over here! 525 00:19:44,697 --> 00:19:47,198 Let's never let jeff divide us again. 526 00:19:47,266 --> 00:19:49,534 Hey, abed... 527 00:19:49,602 --> 00:19:50,902 Why are you and I the only sane-- 528 00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:53,605 Shh! Just watch. 529 00:19:53,672 --> 00:19:54,739 It's beautiful. 530 00:19:54,807 --> 00:19:56,441 Troy, do you want a bite of my wand? 531 00:19:56,509 --> 00:19:57,509 I do. 532 00:20:01,565 --> 00:20:02,598 We really appreciate you doing this. 533 00:20:02,666 --> 00:20:04,266 - Oh, sure. - And 3, 2, 1. 534 00:20:04,334 --> 00:20:06,835 ?T× troy and abed in the mornin' ?T× 535 00:20:06,902 --> 00:20:08,069 And we're back. Look who's here. 536 00:20:08,136 --> 00:20:09,336 Jeff winger. 537 00:20:09,404 --> 00:20:10,704 Jeff, how do you stay so fit? 538 00:20:10,772 --> 00:20:13,740 Uh, diet, exercise, genetics. 539 00:20:13,808 --> 00:20:15,708 sure, sure. 540 00:20:15,776 --> 00:20:16,975 Okay, so it seems as though we have a clip. 541 00:20:17,043 --> 00:20:18,677 You want to set it up for us? 542 00:20:18,745 --> 00:20:19,845 Uh, I'd like to, 543 00:20:19,912 --> 00:20:21,046 But I don't know what you're talking about. 544 00:20:21,113 --> 00:20:23,348 Okay, we'll just roll it. 545 00:20:23,415 --> 00:20:24,982 ooh, my name's jeff winger. 546 00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:26,150 hey, I'm jeff winger. 547 00:20:26,218 --> 00:20:27,151 I'm so tall. 548 00:20:27,218 --> 00:20:28,719 Ah, this watch is expensive. 549 00:20:28,786 --> 00:20:30,420 - Muscles are everywhere. - Oh, that was really funny. 550 00:20:30,488 --> 00:20:31,921 You guys, what's going on? Where are the cameras? 551 00:20:31,989 --> 00:20:33,289 Oh, we're not filming this. 552 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,290 No, who'd want to watch this? 553 00:20:34,357 --> 00:20:36,291 Oh, guys, it's 6:00 a.M. 554 00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:37,559 Jeez! 555 00:20:39,596 --> 00:20:41,630 We're not gonna have him back. 556 00:20:43,596 --> 00:20:45,630 Sync By YesCool Resync by Pippo Inzaghi