1
00:00:06,668 --> 00:00:09,704
Jules, I have been chosen
by the group to talk to you.
2
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:14,342
You look insane. It's time
to take that thing off.
3
00:00:14,343 --> 00:00:16,510
I am never taking this off,
4
00:00:16,511 --> 00:00:18,946
and before you judge me,
touch it. Hmm?
5
00:00:18,947 --> 00:00:21,649
I dare you.
I dare all of you.
6
00:00:22,951 --> 00:00:25,086
Ooh.
7
00:00:25,087 --> 00:00:30,124
You're saying that deep down
every guy is a little bit gay?
8
00:00:30,125 --> 00:00:33,260
It's science. To prove it,
you just have to set a gay trap.
9
00:00:33,261 --> 00:00:36,397
A what? Hey, Andy, what's the
name of that Bette Midler song
10
00:00:36,398 --> 00:00:39,233
that she sings in "Beaches"?
"Wind Beneath my Wings."
11
00:00:39,234 --> 00:00:41,202
A gay trap.
You're a little gay.
12
00:00:42,571 --> 00:00:45,439
But I know how to turn it off
when it counts, right, babe?
13
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:49,977
Sometimes. Sometimes in bed he calls me "champ."
One of my best guy friends, Neil Goldman,
14
00:00:49,978 --> 00:00:52,246
taught me about gay aps
in High School.
15
00:00:52,247 --> 00:00:56,550
I always had a lot of guy friends. No, you
always had a lot of guys hanging around,
16
00:00:56,551 --> 00:00:58,953
hoping they'd eventually
get a chance to nail you.
17
00:00:58,954 --> 00:01:01,022
Guys aren't really friends
with girls.
18
00:01:01,023 --> 00:01:03,290
That is such a clichã©.
19
00:01:03,291 --> 00:01:06,160
Right, because clichã©s about men
and women aren't based in truth.
20
00:01:06,161 --> 00:01:07,495
Great point, champ!
21
00:01:07,496 --> 00:01:10,131
That was a bad moment
for me.
22
00:01:10,132 --> 00:01:14,101
Well, I have tons
of guy friends. See?
23
00:01:14,102 --> 00:01:18,272
Have you slept with any of them? Yeah, I've
slept with all of them, but only as friends.
24
00:01:18,273 --> 00:01:20,775
Jules, tiny eyes is right.
I have tiny eyes?
25
00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:22,977
When Andy and I first met,
26
00:01:22,978 --> 00:01:25,646
we were in the same circle
of friends, but basically
27
00:01:25,647 --> 00:01:30,051
it was just a doink chain that I worked my
way around. And guess who she got to last? Ow.
28
00:01:30,052 --> 00:01:31,419
I don't have tiny eyes.
29
00:01:31,420 --> 00:01:33,421
You do, brother.
You're like a ferret.
30
00:01:35,223 --> 00:01:38,159
Did you guys join a cult?
Feel it.
31
00:01:39,961 --> 00:01:42,396
You're all wrong.
Last night on the news,
32
00:01:42,397 --> 00:01:45,066
there was a bear and kitten,
and they were best friends.
33
00:01:45,067 --> 00:01:48,302
If they can do it, so can men and
women. Mm-hmm. How'd that story end?
34
00:01:48,303 --> 00:01:49,937
The bear killed the kitten...
35
00:01:49,938 --> 00:01:53,107
After getting too frisky
with it. All right. Ohh.
36
00:01:54,476 --> 00:01:56,010
Cool t-shirt.
37
00:01:56,011 --> 00:01:58,112
That's almost purple.
What color do you call that?
38
00:01:58,113 --> 00:02:00,748
Fuchsia. Gay trap! You're
a little gay.
39
00:02:00,749 --> 00:02:03,150
So uncool
to gay trap your own son.
40
00:02:03,151 --> 00:02:05,219
Aw, it's just a game.
Come on.
41
00:02:05,220 --> 00:02:07,855
It's like that one where you
act out movie titles... charades?
42
00:02:07,856 --> 00:02:09,724
Double gay trap!
43
00:02:09,725 --> 00:02:12,993
I'm not a huge fan of this game,
but it is better than hand fart.
44
00:02:12,994 --> 00:02:14,862
Is it?
Good... God.
45
00:02:14,863 --> 00:02:17,298
So my buddy Carl bailed
on our fishing trip to Georgia.
46
00:02:17,299 --> 00:02:19,633
Do you wanna come?
Why don't you take Andy?
47
00:02:19,634 --> 00:02:22,002
Naw, Andy can't go.
You know, he's busy
48
00:02:22,003 --> 00:02:24,572
with work and the baby
and whatnot, so...
49
00:02:24,573 --> 00:02:27,074
Hey, he never answered me.
He answered without answering.
50
00:02:27,075 --> 00:02:29,543
Well, that's just confusing.
I'll go fishing with you.
51
00:02:29,544 --> 00:02:30,911
Oh, I don't know, Trav.
52
00:02:30,912 --> 00:02:33,380
You know,
we'll be sleeping outside
53
00:02:33,381 --> 00:02:35,850
and brushing our teeth
with pinecones.
54
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:39,587
It's kind of a man trip. Well, I am
insulted, but we'll get back to that.
55
00:02:39,588 --> 00:02:43,224
Why can't you just bring a toothbrush? Same reason
why I'm not bringing my cholesterol medicine.
56
00:02:43,225 --> 00:02:45,726
I'm on vacation.
57
00:02:45,727 --> 00:02:47,194
Morning, intruders.
Mm.
58
00:02:47,195 --> 00:02:49,230
Where's Ellie?
She's still in bed.
59
00:02:49,231 --> 00:02:52,466
She took one of
her sleeping pills last night,
60
00:02:52,467 --> 00:02:54,335
but she hates losing ntrol,
so she always fights it.
61
00:02:54,336 --> 00:02:57,438
For God sake,
just go to sleep.
62
00:02:57,439 --> 00:02:59,974
You go to sleep.
I'm not tired.
63
00:02:59,975 --> 00:03:02,409
Sometimes she gets horny,
and we hit it...
64
00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:06,113
But it feels wrong,
'cause she never remembers it.
65
00:03:07,315 --> 00:03:09,416
All right. What's up?
66
00:03:09,417 --> 00:03:12,019
Not being able to go fishing
with Bobby made me realize
67
00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:14,688
that I'm always either at work
or with the family.
68
00:03:14,689 --> 00:03:18,692
I never have anyime for just me. You
should probably tweet about your feelings.
69
00:03:18,693 --> 00:03:20,928
Seriously,
look at my face.
70
00:03:20,929 --> 00:03:24,331
You see how I can't hide w bored
I am by your problems? Totally.
71
00:03:24,332 --> 00:03:26,867
Yeah, okay,
well, when you tweet it,
72
00:03:26,868 --> 00:03:29,637
it goes out into the universe
to all these clueless people,
73
00:03:29,638 --> 00:03:32,840
and you can pretend that they'r. Well,
that's deep. You should tweet that.
74
00:03:32,841 --> 00:03:35,209
"Way ahead
of you, I told him."
75
00:03:35,210 --> 00:03:37,945
You just need
to shapw things up a bit.
76
00:03:37,946 --> 00:03:40,881
You know, when I get into a rut,
I whip out my naughty underwear.
77
00:03:40,882 --> 00:03:43,150
It makes me feel sexy...
Until about 4:00,
78
00:03:43,151 --> 00:03:46,654
when I realize no one's ever gonna see it. The only
time I have for just me is my drive to and from work.
79
00:03:46,655 --> 00:03:49,156
How am I supposed
to shake that up?
80
00:03:49,157 --> 00:03:52,193
Oh, God! This is so good!
Ohh! Ohh!
81
00:03:52,194 --> 00:03:55,029
So that's
Andy's orgasm face? Hmm.
82
00:03:55,030 --> 00:03:57,598
I convinced Andy
to buy Laurie's old motorcycle.
83
00:03:57,599 --> 00:04:00,334
Oh, and I almost forgot,
you're a jerk.
84
00:04:00,335 --> 00:04:02,536
What, are you still mad
85
00:04:02,537 --> 00:04:06,407
about the whole guys and girls befriends thing? Well,
it's like saying that we aren't even real friends.
86
00:04:06,408 --> 00:04:08,375
I just meant that...
87
00:04:08,376 --> 00:04:11,212
Men and women can't be friends
without a sexual undercurrent.
88
00:04:11,213 --> 00:04:13,981
Look, we find each other
attractive.
89
00:04:13,982 --> 00:04:16,016
We're flirty.
That's our dynamic.
90
00:04:16,017 --> 00:04:17,952
We are so not.
91
00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:20,554
But we would never act
on it,
92
00:04:20,555 --> 00:04:23,057
because we both know
it would end in disaster,
93
00:04:23,058 --> 00:04:25,726
so we became "friends
94
00:04:25,727 --> 00:04:27,528
no, we became "friends,"
because-
95
00:04:27,529 --> 00:04:30,531
no, wait. I don't want
to use the air quotes.
96
00:04:30,532 --> 00:04:32,032
We became "friends"...
97
00:04:32,033 --> 00:04:33,534
Oh, forget it.
98
00:04:33,535 --> 00:04:36,237
Hey, Jules. Do you want me
to water your flowers?
99
00:04:36,238 --> 00:04:39,406
Oh, hey, Tom.
See? Nice friend.
100
00:04:39,407 --> 00:04:42,910
Oh, yeah. He definitely wants
to water your flowers.
101
00:04:42,911 --> 00:04:45,980
No, and gross!
102
00:04:47,415 --> 00:04:50,150
Are the flowers my face?
103
00:04:50,151 --> 00:04:53,020
Ha ha! That was amazing!
104
00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:56,056
You think you're ready to
go solo? Wait one second.
105
00:05:05,867 --> 00:05:09,570
Did you guys imagine me in slo-mo like
I asked? We did.
106
00:05:09,571 --> 00:05:11,672
Let's do this!
107
00:05:11,706 --> 00:05:15,409
Did you guys imagine me in slo-mo like
I asked? .
108
00:05:15,443 --> 00:05:17,544
I'll buy it!
109
00:05:17,579 --> 00:05:20,547
Hey, dad, you know
I don't have a fishing pole.
110
00:05:20,582 --> 00:05:22,549
You've got an extra one,
right?
111
00:05:22,584 --> 00:05:24,585
Poles?
We don't need poles.
112
00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:25,853
We're noodling, baby.
113
00:05:25,887 --> 00:05:28,355
Hmm. Do I want to know
what that means?
114
00:05:28,356 --> 00:05:31,158
Odling is a special kind
of redneck fishing, my friend.
115
00:05:31,159 --> 00:05:34,228
See, you go into a muddy Lake,
and you find a big hole
116
00:05:34,229 --> 00:05:36,163
where a catfish is
protecting its eggs,
117
00:05:36,164 --> 00:05:39,066
and you catch it by getting it
to eat the noodle.
118
00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:40,801
So what'the noodle?
119
00:05:40,802 --> 00:05:42,536
Your arm's the noodle.
120
00:05:42,537 --> 00:05:45,539
Holy gods! What-
121
00:05:48,276 --> 00:05:50,744
Somebody left a motorcycle
in our driveway.
122
00:05:50,745 --> 00:05:54,315
Go drive over it, and then
find out who it belongs to.
123
00:05:54,316 --> 00:05:56,684
It's my new hog.
I bought it from Laurie.
124
00:05:56,685 --> 00:05:58,585
How could you do that
without asking me?
125
00:05:58,586 --> 00:06:00,521
I- I asked you last night.
126
00:06:00,522 --> 00:06:03,290
Can I get a motorcycle?
I like turtles.
127
00:06:03,291 --> 00:06:05,125
You look good. Get naked.
128
00:06:05,126 --> 00:06:07,227
Fine.
129
00:06:07,228 --> 00:06:08,662
That doesn't count.
130
00:06:08,663 --> 00:06:11,832
Whose stupid idea was it
to buy a motorcycle?
131
00:06:13,702 --> 00:06:15,970
Okay,
that's the Ellie alarm.
132
00:06:15,971 --> 00:06:19,139
Come on, guys. Quick!
Travis, go lock the back door.
133
00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:21,108
Bobby, get the front.
This is not a drill!
134
00:06:21,109 --> 00:06:24,211
Do it like we practiced.
Aah!
135
00:06:24,212 --> 00:06:26,308
What? I thought it was funnier
with the knife.
136
00:06:28,617 --> 00:06:31,331
Transcript by addic7ed.Com
137
00:06:33,738 --> 00:06:36,373
so who gave you permission
to give Andy permission
138
00:06:36,408 --> 00:06:39,076
to buy a motorcycle? I'm sorry. It's
just that he was wearing his blumfy,
139
00:06:39,110 --> 00:06:42,346
and he looked so sad.
I'll only ride it to work.
140
00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:45,182
Only to work, Ellie. And I'll walk
it through all the intersections,
141
00:06:45,216 --> 00:06:48,118
'cause I'm not great at turning yet. Do you know
what doctors call people who drive motorcycles?
142
00:06:48,153 --> 00:06:49,620
Modern day cowboys?
Sexy rebels?
143
00:06:49,654 --> 00:06:52,990
Popular? Organ donors.
It's not happening.
144
00:06:53,024 --> 00:06:54,858
Jules,
I'm about to behave childishly.
145
00:06:54,893 --> 00:06:58,862
I'd appreciate it if you'd
turn around. No problem.
146
00:07:00,932 --> 00:07:03,600
Ah,
prepare to be proven wrong.
147
00:07:03,635 --> 00:07:05,235
Sounds fun. About what?
148
00:07:05,270 --> 00:07:07,237
We're searching through
Jules's old guy friends,
149
00:07:07,272 --> 00:07:10,007
trying to find one who didn't want to
sleep with her. Oh, hi, Gil. This is-
150
00:07:10,041 --> 00:07:11,475
yeah, Jules.
151
00:07:11,509 --> 00:07:14,011
Wow, I can't believe
you recognized my voice.
152
00:07:14,045 --> 00:07:16,914
I haven't talked to you
since junior high.
153
00:07:16,948 --> 00:07:19,917
Oh,
you've been following me. Sweet.
154
00:07:19,951 --> 00:07:22,920
How? Like, in the paper
or online?
155
00:07:22,954 --> 00:07:25,222
Oh, just regular following.
156
00:07:25,256 --> 00:07:26,924
Well, bye, Gil.
157
00:07:26,958 --> 00:07:29,159
What a kook, huh?
158
00:07:29,194 --> 00:07:31,128
No gloating.
Status report, Laurie?
159
00:07:31,162 --> 00:07:33,230
Uh...
Your friend Bob-
160
00:07:33,264 --> 00:07:36,500
you know, the one in the
wheelchair? Oh, wheelchair Bob, yeah
161
00:07:36,534 --> 00:07:38,869
he just e-mailed us back.
162
00:07:38,903 --> 00:07:41,872
He says, "remember
beer hockey. L.O.L."
163
00:07:41,906 --> 00:07:45,142
He's such a goof.
He sounds like such a goof.
164
00:07:45,176 --> 00:07:47,678
He also said
that you should call him,
165
00:07:47,712 --> 00:07:50,147
because he's regained
feeling down there. Oh, shoot!
166
00:07:50,181 --> 00:07:54,151
I mean, good
news for Bob, but... shoot!
167
00:08:00,258 --> 00:08:02,793
How great is this?
So great.
168
00:08:02,827 --> 00:08:04,361
Let's noodle.
169
00:08:04,395 --> 00:08:07,798
So first things first
we gotta find a good hole. Define "good hole."
170
00:08:07,832 --> 00:08:11,401
Define "good hole"
in regards to noodling.
171
00:08:11,436 --> 00:08:13,637
It's a hole
with a catfish in it.
172
00:08:13,671 --> 00:08:16,507
Alls you gotta do is just shove
your arm down in there.
173
00:08:16,541 --> 00:08:18,442
Is there any skill in this?
I got nothin'.
174
00:08:18,476 --> 00:08:20,511
Well, is catfish
at least delicious?
175
00:08:20,545 --> 00:08:22,546
Tastes like butt.
176
00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:25,082
Dad, I'm trying,
but why would anyone do this?
177
00:08:25,116 --> 00:08:28,485
Because...
178
00:08:28,486 --> 00:08:31,989
This is why, baby!
Aah! Kill it, kill it, kill it!
179
00:08:32,023 --> 00:08:35,292
Whoo-hoo! Ohh. This is a big one.
God, no! God, no! Bkill it!.
180
00:08:35,326 --> 00:08:38,262
Why do you have to make every decision
for me? Because you don't think!
181
00:08:38,296 --> 00:08:39,830
Oh, I don't think?
No.
182
00:08:39,864 --> 00:08:42,533
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Guys, when did
this turn into a real fight?
183
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:45,769
How far into it are we? Being
married to you is exhausting!
184
00:08:45,803 --> 00:08:48,205
All right,
that's about the midway point.
185
00:08:48,239 --> 00:08:50,941
I say we all just... calm down.
Jules, I know you get scared
186
00:08:50,975 --> 00:08:53,377
when people you care about
fight. It makes me lose my breath.
187
00:08:53,411 --> 00:08:56,146
I know, sweetie, but don't try
to derail this argument
188
00:08:56,180 --> 00:08:58,715
and put the focus on you. Now
you're telling her what to do.
189
00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:00,384
Andy, so help me God,
190
00:09:00,418 --> 00:09:02,753
if you open that churro hole of yours one more time
I had sex in your house.
191
00:09:02,787 --> 00:09:05,689
Right over there. So? We conceived
stan on your kitchen island.
192
00:09:05,723 --> 00:09:08,325
I think
it's time for you to go.
193
00:09:08,359 --> 00:09:10,561
I just want you guys
to be fine...
194
00:09:10,595 --> 00:09:12,696
Or at least closer to fine.
195
00:09:12,730 --> 00:09:16,400
Isn't that a song? Who-who
sang that the indigo girls.
196
00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:18,602
Lady gay trap!
You're lady gay.
197
00:09:18,636 --> 00:09:20,237
It's probably not the time.
198
00:09:20,271 --> 00:09:21,738
Don't try
to make her smile.
199
00:09:21,773 --> 00:09:24,975
I've spent my entire life
trying to make her happy,
200
00:09:25,009 --> 00:09:26,643
but she never tries
for me!
201
00:09:26,678 --> 00:09:29,112
Sometimes I don't even know why
I rried you. Right back at you!
202
00:09:29,147 --> 00:09:31,582
That's too far. Everyone's
going too far. I'm outta here.
203
00:09:31,616 --> 00:09:34,818
Good. Go! I can't
I can't breathe.
204
00:09:34,852 --> 00:09:37,821
Hey, Andy, you still haven't
paid me for the bike,
205
00:09:37,855 --> 00:09:40,791
and I have a strict "you
breait, you buy it" policy
206
00:09:40,825 --> 00:09:43,193
on everything, and, honey,
I mean everything.
207
00:09:43,227 --> 00:09:44,661
See these? Fake.
208
00:09:44,696 --> 00:09:47,664
Yeah, my ex-boyfriend entered me
in a foxy boxing competition,
209
00:09:47,699 --> 00:09:50,701
and the bitch who knocked these
out paid the ultimate price.
210
00:09:50,735 --> 00:09:53,670
She died in her sleep.
I think it was karma.
211
00:09:53,705 --> 00:09:56,173
You know, or maybe
it was just her time.
212
00:09:57,342 --> 00:10:00,544
Point taken.
Time to go taste some freedom.
213
00:10:03,848 --> 00:10:04,982
Oh!
214
00:10:05,016 --> 00:10:07,451
Yeah, bike's okay.
215
00:10:07,485 --> 00:10:10,520
My whole right side
kept it from hitting the ground.
216
00:10:16,227 --> 00:10:19,229
You okay? I'd give you
a shoulder to cry on-
217
00:10:19,263 --> 00:10:21,264
you know, if I had one.
218
00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:25,802
Have you
ever had one of those days
219
00:10:25,837 --> 00:10:28,839
where just everything goes
wrong? My Nana died last Thursday.
220
00:10:28,873 --> 00:10:30,974
I didn't make it to the hospital
before she passed,
221
00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:33,243
because I ran over my
own dog.
222
00:10:33,277 --> 00:10:35,812
You had to top me, Tom.
223
00:10:35,847 --> 00:10:38,582
Tom,
what are you doing here?
224
00:10:38,616 --> 00:10:41,485
He's being a great friend-
a great guy friend.
225
00:10:41,519 --> 00:10:43,687
Come on.
Friend shake, Tom.
226
00:10:47,659 --> 00:10:49,092
Friends.
227
00:10:49,127 --> 00:10:52,095
That seems like something you
could reproduce again and again.
228
00:10:52,130 --> 00:10:53,864
I'm gonna go check on Ellie.
229
00:10:53,898 --> 00:10:56,366
Poor girl.
She's having a rough time.
230
00:10:56,401 --> 00:10:58,135
Ginger tea?
231
00:10:58,169 --> 00:11:00,037
I tell you...
232
00:11:00,071 --> 00:11:01,938
No, I-I know
what you're doing, Tom.
233
00:11:01,973 --> 00:11:03,540
I'm not sure
what's going on.
234
00:11:03,574 --> 00:11:05,542
Jules is in a d way,
so...
235
00:11:05,576 --> 00:11:08,011
Here comes good old Tommy
236
00:11:08,046 --> 00:11:10,447
with his magic ginger tea.
237
00:11:10,481 --> 00:11:12,482
You pull any crap with her,
238
00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:13,917
and you'll answer to me.
239
00:11:13,951 --> 00:11:15,452
Now you can lock
your doors,
240
00:11:15,486 --> 00:11:17,487
but I live
right next to you, Tom.
241
00:11:17,522 --> 00:11:19,122
I'll just jump on your roof
242
00:11:19,157 --> 00:11:21,958
and come right down
your damn chimney,
243
00:11:21,993 --> 00:11:24,795
but I won't be bringing
any presents. Unh-unh.
244
00:11:24,829 --> 00:11:27,664
Not unless you asked Santa
for the heel of my boot.
245
00:11:27,699 --> 00:11:29,700
Uh... I'm feeling
really uncomfortable.
246
00:11:29,734 --> 00:11:32,069
Good.
247
00:11:32,103 --> 00:11:33,570
Okay, Trav, you're up.
248
00:11:33,604 --> 00:11:35,505
There's a hole
right beneath me.
249
00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:38,408
You're sure I'm only
gonna find catfish in there?
250
00:11:38,443 --> 00:11:39,943
Absolutely.
251
00:11:39,977 --> 00:11:41,411
Or a snake.
252
00:11:41,446 --> 00:11:42,913
Or a baby gator.
253
00:11:42,947 --> 00:11:44,948
Or a regular gator.
254
00:11:44,982 --> 00:11:46,983
Just do it.
255
00:11:47,018 --> 00:11:49,319
There's nothing to be afraid of,
all right? Look.
256
00:11:49,353 --> 00:11:51,788
Oh!
Dad!
257
00:11:53,091 --> 00:11:55,625
Dad? Dad! Aah!
Gator bite!
258
00:11:55,660 --> 00:11:59,096
What the hell?!
Classic noodling prank.
259
00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,965
That's it.
I'm not doing this.
260
00:12:01,999 --> 00:12:05,535
Come on. I'm just trying to make us a
memory. Well, I'll mention it at your eulogy.
261
00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:07,604
Is this whole thing
my fault?
262
00:12:07,638 --> 00:12:10,307
Absolutely. That's why
I ordered the expensive wine.
263
00:12:10,341 --> 00:12:11,808
Mmm. Well,
that's confusing,
264
00:12:11,843 --> 00:12:13,944
because this punishment
is delicious.
265
00:12:13,978 --> 00:12:17,013
I know it seems like I'm making
a big deal about a motorcycle,
266
00:12:17,048 --> 00:12:18,482
but they're so dangerous,
267
00:12:18,516 --> 00:12:20,984
and if anything bad
ever happened to Andy,
268
00:12:21,018 --> 00:12:24,321
I don't know what I would do.
I love him so much.
269
00:12:24,355 --> 00:12:26,289
Well, why didn't you
just say that?
270
00:12:26,324 --> 00:12:28,492
Because you don't reward
your husbands
271
00:12:28,526 --> 00:12:32,062
when they do something idiotic. What are you, new?
Well, if I caused this rift, then I'm gonna fix it.
272
00:12:32,096 --> 00:12:33,497
There's nothing to fix.
273
00:12:33,531 --> 00:12:35,732
We've been through fights
like this a thousand times.
274
00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:38,235
It's no big deal. Ah, see? It's
Andy.
275
00:12:38,269 --> 00:12:40,203
Hey, stan's baby dance recital
is this afternoon.
276
00:12:40,238 --> 00:12:44,941
Don't be late. I'm gonna stay
on Bobby's boat for a few days.
277
00:12:44,976 --> 00:12:46,443
Oh.
278
00:12:46,477 --> 00:12:47,911
Okay.
279
00:12:47,945 --> 00:12:49,946
Bye.
280
00:12:51,716 --> 00:12:53,316
Well, that's new.
281
00:12:53,351 --> 00:12:55,752
Mmm.
282
00:12:57,221 --> 00:12:59,689
I'm sorry.
It's just so good.
283
00:13:02,535 --> 00:13:05,270
It is not okay
for him to just bail
284
00:13:05,305 --> 00:13:07,873
and go sleep somewhere else without
trying to talk it out. I know.
285
00:13:07,907 --> 00:13:09,842
If Andy does not go
to stan's recital,
286
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:11,810
I swear,
I'm gonna change the locks.
287
00:13:11,845 --> 00:13:15,147
This is just between us, okay? I
won't tell a soul. You all heard that,
288
00:13:15,181 --> 00:13:17,916
so technically
I'm not telling you anything.
289
00:13:17,951 --> 00:13:19,418
I mean, what is Andy doing?
290
00:13:19,452 --> 00:13:22,054
This is why I usually don't
meddle in people's lives.
291
00:13:22,088 --> 00:13:24,122
Actually
not the time to call me on it.
292
00:13:24,157 --> 00:13:26,592
I remember when
my dad walked out on my mom
293
00:13:26,626 --> 00:13:28,694
for the first time,
and she was crushed.
294
00:13:28,728 --> 00:13:30,495
And then a month later,
when she realized
295
00:13:30,530 --> 00:13:33,031
that he had taken
me and my sister with him,
296
00:13:33,066 --> 00:13:35,868
it got even worse...
But then she found us in cabo,
297
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:38,570
and it turned out to be
the best family vacation ever,
298
00:13:38,605 --> 00:13:41,006
until we decided
to go horseback riding. Okay.
299
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:44,643
So this one horse was pregnant, and we didn't know it, and its
there has to be a stopping point.
300
00:13:44,677 --> 00:13:47,446
I've never seen Ellie like this. Really?
Because I've only seen her like this.
301
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,549
You know, if they don't get
a handle on this fight,
302
00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:52,117
then it's-
it's gonna be trouble.
303
00:13:52,151 --> 00:13:55,587
All right, who wants to come
with me to get Andy? I'll go.
304
00:13:55,622 --> 00:13:57,356
No, Tom. I'll go.
305
00:13:57,390 --> 00:13:59,858
Was he pointing
to his eyes?
306
00:13:59,893 --> 00:14:01,960
I- I couldn't tell.
307
00:14:01,995 --> 00:14:04,529
They're really tiny.
308
00:14:04,564 --> 00:14:06,598
Who are you?
309
00:14:06,633 --> 00:14:09,234
Ahh. Yeah.
310
00:14:09,269 --> 00:14:11,236
Sure wish
you would've caut one.
311
00:14:11,271 --> 00:14:13,205
Then you might have
sothing to eat.
312
00:14:13,239 --> 00:14:16,074
You're not gonna share
40 pounds of catfish?
313
00:14:16,109 --> 00:14:18,610
So I didn't noodle.
314
00:14:18,645 --> 00:14:20,679
Why are you being
so pissy about this?
315
00:14:20,713 --> 00:14:22,848
You're acting like
that conservative blonde girl
316
00:14:22,882 --> 00:14:25,183
who always gets in fights
on "the view."
317
00:14:25,218 --> 00:14:26,785
Elisabeth hasselbeck?
Gay trap!
318
00:14:26,819 --> 00:14:29,821
I'm taking a walk.
319
00:14:29,856 --> 00:14:32,324
It's not fair!
They gang up on her.
320
00:14:34,394 --> 00:14:36,128
Ugh. Butt.
321
00:14:36,162 --> 00:14:40,232
I'm a man, Jules. She treats me like
a child! Just come down and talk.
322
00:14:40,266 --> 00:14:41,400
Fine.
323
00:14:41,434 --> 00:14:43,936
Aw, dude! It's not a
surgical gown. Hey, hey.
324
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,271
You gotta put clothes
underneath there.
325
00:14:46,306 --> 00:14:48,140
Aw, fine.
I'll put on boxers.
326
00:14:48,174 --> 00:14:50,776
And I need you to go
to stan's baby dance recital.
327
00:14:50,810 --> 00:14:54,179
No! I will not do it. No, no, no,
no! Well, if you won't go as a parent,
328
00:14:54,213 --> 00:14:58,350
you can go as a contestant. Do you know why
she doesn't want you to have a motorcycle?
329
00:14:58,384 --> 00:15:00,852
Because she cares about you
so much,
330
00:15:00,887 --> 00:15:03,555
she doesn't want anything
to happen to you.
331
00:15:03,589 --> 00:15:05,891
Come on.
Let's go to the recital.
332
00:15:05,925 --> 00:15:08,627
It already started,
like, two minutes ago.
333
00:15:08,661 --> 00:15:12,998
You'll never make it. Traffic was bumper-to-bumper.
Okay, quick, grab Bobby's baseball helmet.
334
00:15:13,032 --> 00:15:14,900
Why?
335
00:15:16,469 --> 00:15:18,403
Too fast! Too fast!
336
00:15:18,438 --> 00:15:21,974
This is how you turn right
without braking. Hold on!
337
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:24,476
No!
338
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:27,446
Aah! Aah! Wow.
I almost fell off.
339
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,548
Be quiet!
340
00:15:32,585 --> 00:15:36,054
Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God!
341
00:15:38,925 --> 00:15:41,526
I can't believe
we missed it.
342
00:15:41,561 --> 00:15:45,831
If you hadn't jumped off the back at that stoplight
I was scared for my life, Jules!
343
00:15:45,865 --> 00:15:48,934
You're not safe. I'm taking
a cab back to Bobby's.
344
00:15:48,968 --> 00:15:51,136
Oh, Andy. Come on!
345
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:53,071
Hey, Jules. Mm.
346
00:15:53,106 --> 00:15:56,141
Feels good to have a lot of
power between your legs,
347
00:15:56,175 --> 00:15:57,642
doesn't it?
348
00:15:57,677 --> 00:15:59,578
Motorcycles are fun, too.
349
00:15:59,612 --> 00:16:02,781
Do you just follow me around
waiting to say things?
350
00:16:04,817 --> 00:16:07,185
Didn't make it, huh?
351
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:09,855
Come here.
352
00:16:09,889 --> 00:16:13,225
Wow. You weren't kidding
about these narrow shoulders.
353
00:16:13,259 --> 00:16:16,328
You must've shot out
of your mom like a bullet.
354
00:16:17,697 --> 00:16:19,965
Tom? Wh-what are you doing
with your hand?
355
00:16:19,999 --> 00:16:22,934
This one?
Nope. The other one.
356
00:16:25,038 --> 00:16:26,271
Is that a problem?
357
00:16:26,305 --> 00:16:28,206
Mm-hmm.
358
00:16:28,241 --> 00:16:29,975
Hey.
359
00:16:30,009 --> 00:16:33,011
I just wanted toome in
and check on you. How you doing?
360
00:16:33,046 --> 00:16:35,147
Jules sentou.
Bingo-bango.
361
00:16:35,181 --> 00:16:37,482
Jules, get your tiny round ass
in here.
362
00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:39,384
Hey, thanks
for the "round ass,"
363
00:16:39,419 --> 00:16:41,620
'cause I've been doing lunges.
364
00:16:41,654 --> 00:16:44,056
I'm so sorry
I broke you and Andy.
365
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:46,892
Whatevs. Do you have any
red wine? I'm out of red wine.
366
00:16:46,926 --> 00:16:49,661
Yeah, like 2,000 bottles.
Wha-can we be real?
367
00:16:49,695 --> 00:16:52,764
I need
you and Andy to work.
368
00:16:52,799 --> 00:16:54,199
You're the only couple
369
00:16:54,233 --> 00:16:56,535
that makes me still believe
in marriage, you know?
370
00:16:56,569 --> 00:16:58,003
Ohh. So lame.
371
00:16:58,071 --> 00:17:00,705
I know, right?
Hey, I found some red.
372
00:17:00,740 --> 00:17:02,307
Wait. You two made up?
373
00:17:02,341 --> 00:17:04,309
Not yet, but we will.
Dummy.
374
00:17:04,343 --> 00:17:06,111
Witch. Anybody want wine?
375
00:17:06,145 --> 00:17:09,081
Always. What's happening?
I don't know, but I never know.
376
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,249
Jules is wigged-out
by our fight,
377
00:17:11,284 --> 00:17:13,185
'cause she doesn't know
what it's like
378
00:17:13,219 --> 00:17:15,954
to be in a good, healthy
marriage. Oh, yes, I do.
379
00:17:15,988 --> 00:17:17,556
No, you don't.
I really don't.
380
00:17:17,590 --> 00:17:19,558
Ãwhat's she gonna do?
Throw away our lives
381
00:17:19,592 --> 00:17:21,693
because I pretended
to leave home for a night
382
00:17:21,727 --> 00:17:23,295
and skipped
a baby dance recital?
383
00:17:23,329 --> 00:17:26,164
Stan's 1.
I bet he didn't even move.
384
00:17:26,199 --> 00:17:28,233
He peed himself
and then fell asleep.
385
00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:30,769
Jules, when
a marriage really works,
386
00:17:30,803 --> 00:17:32,838
the tiny bumps
in the road don't matter.
387
00:17:32,872 --> 00:17:34,573
You don't have to be scared,
388
00:17:34,607 --> 00:17:36,241
'cause there's
never any real Jeopardy.
389
00:17:36,275 --> 00:17:38,677
We have
a built-in safety net,
390
00:17:38,711 --> 00:17:41,079
'cause we love each other
so much.
391
00:17:41,114 --> 00:17:43,748
I'm gonna cry.
392
00:17:43,783 --> 00:17:45,250
I'm not,
393
00:17:45,284 --> 00:17:47,285
because my eyes are so tiny.
394
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:48,787
I'm owning it.
395
00:17:48,821 --> 00:17:51,823
ª don't wanna know
why you like me *
396
00:17:53,392 --> 00:17:55,961
skipping rocks?
What's your record?
397
00:17:55,995 --> 00:17:57,362
Four.
398
00:17:57,396 --> 00:17:59,631
It would've been more,
but I hit a duck.
399
00:17:59,665 --> 00:18:02,734
I should feel bad,
but I don't. I hate ducks.
400
00:18:02,768 --> 00:18:04,136
Yeah, me, too.
401
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,071
Well,
our mutual duck hatred
402
00:18:06,105 --> 00:18:08,607
isn't gonna make everything
better. Okay, dad?
403
00:18:08,641 --> 00:18:10,075
I know.
404
00:18:10,109 --> 00:18:12,043
Plus I love ducks.
405
00:18:12,078 --> 00:18:15,113
Seriously, they make me laugh
every time they quack.
406
00:18:18,017 --> 00:18:20,318
Hey, look, Trav,
I don't care about noodling.
407
00:18:20,353 --> 00:18:23,321
Remember how I didn't think
of you for this trip,
408
00:18:23,356 --> 00:18:25,123
because I said
it was a man's trip?
409
00:18:25,158 --> 00:18:27,392
Are you kidding?
I cherish that moment.
410
00:18:27,426 --> 00:18:29,895
Look, when you were
just a young pup,
411
00:18:29,929 --> 00:18:32,397
if I, uh, took you
into a Lake
412
00:18:32,431 --> 00:18:35,233
and I asked you to stick
your arm down a giant hole,
413
00:18:35,268 --> 00:18:37,235
you just would've done it.
414
00:18:37,270 --> 00:18:40,272
Now you're 18. You said no,
and you bitched about it.
415
00:18:40,306 --> 00:18:42,507
But, Travis,
you bitched like a man.
416
00:18:44,744 --> 00:18:46,678
Well, this may be sappy,
417
00:18:46,712 --> 00:18:49,714
but, uh, I don't know
if I'm quite ready yet
418
00:18:49,749 --> 00:18:51,650
for you to be a grown-up.
419
00:18:51,684 --> 00:18:54,219
I'm sorry if I acted
like Elisabeth hasselbeck.
420
00:18:54,253 --> 00:18:56,288
It's all right.
421
00:18:56,322 --> 00:18:58,857
You can do
the arm thing now,
422
00:18:58,891 --> 00:19:00,192
if you want.
423
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:02,260
ª
424
00:19:04,830 --> 00:19:06,298
Those guys!
425
00:19:06,332 --> 00:19:08,533
ª don't wanna know
how you're feeling *
426
00:19:10,703 --> 00:19:13,705
ª I don't care *
427
00:19:20,947 --> 00:19:23,548
where were you?
428
00:19:23,583 --> 00:19:25,350
Nowhere. He looks happy.
429
00:19:27,186 --> 00:19:29,221
Whee-hee-hee-hee!
430
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:32,958
He gets to ride ten minutes
a day with supervision. Mm.
431
00:19:32,992 --> 00:19:34,526
Yeah.
432
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:38,330
Did I look like I was going
fast? So fast. But your time's up.
433
00:19:38,364 --> 00:19:40,699
Oh, come on.
Fine. Just one more minute,
434
00:19:40,733 --> 00:19:43,235
but I get
to take picturesf you.
435
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:44,736
Okay.
Okay.
436
00:19:46,138 --> 00:19:48,573
You know,
I spent so much time
437
00:19:48,608 --> 00:19:51,376
trying to separate
romance and friendship.
438
00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:54,579
I guess if you're lucky,
you get both.
439
00:19:54,614 --> 00:19:56,514
Yeah.
440
00:19:56,549 --> 00:19:59,017
I want that someday,
you know?
441
00:19:59,051 --> 00:20:01,720
Me, too.
442
00:20:01,754 --> 00:20:03,188
But not now.
443
00:20:03,222 --> 00:20:05,523
No.
Not now. Later.
444
00:20:10,096 --> 00:20:11,496
You know, Jules,
445
00:20:11,530 --> 00:20:14,566
even if there wasn't
a sexual... undercurrent,
446
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,235
I'd still be your friend.
447
00:20:17,270 --> 00:20:18,770
Ohh.
448
00:20:18,804 --> 00:20:21,172
It's not up to you.
449
00:20:25,402 --> 00:20:26,869
Trav!
450
00:20:26,904 --> 00:20:28,404
You here?
451
00:20:28,438 --> 00:20:29,972
Trav!
452
00:20:34,144 --> 00:20:36,179
Hey, Trav,
where are you, buddy?
453
00:20:41,685 --> 00:20:44,487
I've never been more proud.
454
00:20:44,521 --> 00:20:47,190
Hell, yeah.
Whoo!
455
00:20:47,224 --> 00:20:49,659
Now can you get it off me?
456
00:20:49,693 --> 00:20:53,196
The big one ate a smaller one
that's also on my arm. Uhh!
457
00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:54,797
That's my boy.