I've got a good visual on the Earth portal.
In fact, clear as crystal.
Because, see, we're in a crystal battlezone.
Almost a joke. So can I use it?
ZOOM: Whoa!
Uh-oh.
Ooh. Close call for the kid.
Don't call me "kid."
Sure, little guy.
- Hey, anybody wanna hear a joke? ALL [O VER RADIO]: No!
I'm not saying Zoom's a baby or anything, but that rattle in his chopper?
It's a real rattle.
[ALL GRO AN] [RIMSHOT PLAYS]
I will so dominate Open Mike Night at Zeke's.
Dude, enough with the lame baby jokes.
Whoa, somebody missed his nap time.
Spinner, cut it. Let's just get this battlekey home.
Got it. Sorry, Zoom.
We get back, I'm buying you a tall frosty soda.
But I draw the line at burping you.
ZOOM: Spinner, I'm gonna... Whoa!
Ambush!
[KALUS RO ARING]
[AGURA GRUNTS]
ALL: Whoa!
[CRACKING]
Guys, we can't go through the portal yet.
Not with the Vandals close enough to follow.
- I'll draw them off. - No, I'll draw them off.
- Protect the battlekey. - Hold on, kid. It's too dangerous.
"Kid"? You too?
Okay. Thump them and dump them, and then catch up to us.
[TIRES SCREECH]
I will rip you apart!
[VANDALS YELLING]
ZOOM: Woo-hoo!
Ha-ha! That was awesome.
Oh, man, they never see me do the cool stuff.
[CRACKING]
Uh-oh.
Whoa!
[GRUNTING]
[YELLING]
[GRUNTING]
Aww. Wrist comm's busted.
[GRUNTING]
Close the stormshock.
No. Zoom's still in there.
Any time now. He's coming.
Maybe the Vandals caught him.
I'm going back.
You guys hang.
Whoa! Where's the bridge?
AGURA: What did you see?
Trouble. No bridge, no Zoom, no signal.
This is terrible.
Without Zoom, who am I gonna make fun of at Zeke's Open Mike Night?
Heh, heh.
Joking. Seriously, love the little guy.
[VANDALS GRO ANING]
You fools!
You are the one who missed the human with your crossbow.
[RO ARS]
But it was a really good try.
[CHUCKLES]
Three cheers for Captain Kalus.
Huzzah! Huzzah!
Huzzah?
This battle is lost.
Let us return to Vandal and prepare for the next.
Wait. They have left one behind.
- I think I'll eat it. KALUS: No.
We catch it and use it as bait.
The humans will return to save one of their own.
And when they return through the stormshock, we will be ready.
We start the hunt now.
HATCH: Ooh!
I get chills every time he says that.
Anybody else get chills?
[SEVER GRO ANS]
[GRUNTS]
Great. Everything's busted.
[VEHICLES APPRO ACHING]
Oh, man.
I don't have a Chopper, but I still got moves.
[HATCH LAUGHING]
HATCH: Dum-dum-dum! Whee! Whee! Ha-ha!
I found the shell, but the soft parts are missing.
[SNIFFING]
His tracks lead that way.
[ALL LAUGHING]
I'm really hungry.
You're always hungry.
[ALL GRUNTING]
HATCH: Ow! Oh! Owie!
Fools. You are wasting time.
Do you think the human is simply going to wait for us?
Actually, I am.
[GRUNTS]
[CRACKING]
KALUS: Retreat!
ZOOM: Woo-hoo!
[GRUNTS THEN CHUCKLES]
[ZOOM YELLS]
[GRO ANS]
And the score is: Fuzz-Face 0.
[GRUNTING]
[HATCH CHUCKLING]
So... Heh, heh.
Listen, about that Fuzz-Face crack...
[GROWLS]
[CHUCKLING]
[ZOOM GRUNTING]
Stop moving. You're not making this any fun.
It's fun for me.
[SEVER SCREAMS]
ZOOM: Yeah!
See? It's over.
The stormshock is sealed. The Earth is safe.
There's no reason to risk opening it. I'm the least important guy on the team.
They will be back, small one.
They suffer from the same thing your whole feeble race suffers from.
Ha, ha. Cat allergies?
Compassion.
Crazy kid. Taking on the Vandals alone.
Obviously got in over his head.
Which, considering Zoom's size...
...probably happens every time he steps into the tub.
Uh, hey, big bro, it's my job to keep you out of trouble, right?
Well, yeah.
I calculate that you've gone too far.
Understatement of the year.
Hey, all I did was tell a few jokes about the kid being a kid.
Which is why Zoom tried to prove himself by staying behind.
That's it. I'm going back in.
And we're going with you.
Whoa, whoa. Point of order. You said the bridge was out.
How do we get back home?
I don't plan that far in advance. Speed, power and attitude, dudes.
Follow me.
Look! The stormshock is forming.
They will hold it open until they find you.
Vandals, prepare to attack.
[VANDALS RO ARING]
No. They should have just left me.
[ALL YELLING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[VOICE VIBRATING] Hey, is it just me...
...or do I sound extra funny like this?
ALL [O VER RADIO]: It's just you.
Sheesh. Tough crowd.
Whoa!
[SPINNER YELLING]
I think we may have just invented Extreme Car Slalom.
Hey, I'll do the jokes around here.
So to get back home, we gotta go from up there to there.
It could work, but it's risky.
Structurally, that ramp can only take one vehicle at a time.
Okay, but if we have a way back to Earth, so do the Vandals.
That pass is the only way up.
[O VER RADIO] Sherman, Spinner, we go look for Zoom.
- Agura, Stanford, stay and guard the exit. - Got it.
We may be here for a while. Might as well make the best of it.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
KROCOMODO: Captain Kalus, the human's portal remains open.
They have split up. The leader comes this way.
I have old business with him. He is mine to snare.
You, destroy the others. Take the stormshock portal.
You sub-creatures are so easy to hunt.
[CHUCKLES]
Ohh! One word: Mouthwash.
Take him.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
- Sherm? SHERMAN [O VER RADIO]: I see it.
That's Zoom's beacon from the Chopper. We're getting close.
Zoom, can you hear us?
I've got a signal from the Chopper, but nothing on Zoom.
SHERMAN: It's this crystal maze.
I think it's blocking our communication signal.
I'll make sure. I got a couple of new Zoom jokes.
- Lf he can hear me, he'll respond. SHERMAN: Spinner!
VERT: Pump your brakes.
There's the Chopper.
Now let's go find Zoom.
Vandals were just here.
Pack up the Chopper and get back to the pass.
I'm going after Zoom.
Uh, you're coming back, right? I mean, we kind of need you.
We need Zoom too. Don't worry, we'll both be back.
Wow. He took off faster than Stanford's last date.
Ha! Oh, I gotta use that. Oh, yeah, that's a keeper.
[GRO ANS]
Hmm.
They're close.
[KALUS LAUGHS] [VERT GROWLS]
Only room for one of us on this road.
Excellent observation, human.
Ohh. Nice shot.
I hit what I aim at.
[CRACKING]
[VERT YELLS]
[LAUGHING]
[GRUNTING]
VERT: Come on, come on.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Whoa!
Times like this, you know what you need?
A joke.
[ALL GRO AN O VER RADIO]
How many Vandals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
[BEEPING]
Incoming!
Thank goodness.
I thought we'd have to hear another humor-free punchline.
[VANDALS LAUGHING]
All right, who's ready to swap paint?
Here we go, boys.
Wait a minute.
- Check out that hood ornament. - Oh, no!
[VANDALS LAUGHING]
What's the plan?
Evasive maneuvers. We've gotta let them through.
They're gonna get through the portal. Somebody stop them.
That should've sent him flying like a metalhead in the front row.
[SEVER CHUCKLES]
Okay, let's crank up the bass.
[DEEP BOOM]
[GRO ANS]
Careful with the long range-attacks. This pass can't take the impact.
[HISSING]
Whoa!
[HATCH YELLING]
AGURA: Burn. Ha, ha, ha!
AGURA [O VER RADIO]: Back off!
I'm missing all the action.
Wha...?
[LAUGHS]
[AGURA GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
[KALUS LAUGHS]
Excellent. Struggle, child.
Your friends' compassion is their weakness.
In returning to save you, they have doomed your Earth.
VERT: I'll never get there in time.
Unless...
You know what they say...
...what goes up must come down.
[LAUGHS]
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
[KALUS LAUGHING]
Your friends are dropping like Vandalian rot-flies.
Soon we will enter your portal...
...and your defenseless planet will be ours.
Do you ever stop talking?
Yeah! Come on, Vert, do it.
Take us out and save the Earth.
[ZOOM GRUNTS]
Care to carpool, Kalus?
[KALUS SNARLS]
Keep your distance, fools.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[ZOOM GRUNTING]
[KALUS GRUNTING]
No!
[KALUS YELLS]
[ZOOM YELLS]
[VANDALS YELLING]
[GRUNTING]
ZOOM: Talk about a crash course.
Hang in there, buddy.
Like he's got a choice.
[CRACK] [BOTH GASP]
Guys, forget me. You gotta make it through that portal.
The whole place is coming down. Go!
[ALL YELL]
The lad makes a point, Vert. We could all be trapped.
We gotta hang together.
That's it. Everybody, extend your winch cables.
VERT: No man left behind.
Okay, let's get down with it.
Whoa!
[ALL YELLING]
VERT: Need a lift?
What I really need is a jetpack.
[ZOOM GRUNTING]
[YELLING]
No!
Got him. Everyone, reverse.
Six tires. You'd think one would catch.
Actually, it improves our chances exponentially by a factor of... Whoa!
SHERMAN: All right! AGURA: Oh, yeah!
- Amazing. STANFORD: Vertical tow, mate.
[LOUD CRACK] [ALL YELL]
VERT: Focus, guys. We've got one chance at this.
Let's go.
[VANDALS GRO ANING]
Huh?
[SCREAMS]
VERT: Zoom, lock her up.
ZOOM: All over that.
Welcome back, kid.
Yeah, thanks, pops.
Hey, I got one.
How many Vandals does it take to fall off a mountain? Huh? Huh?
All of them.
[ALL LAUGHING]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING]
ZOOM: Thanks for all the laughs, everybody.
Gee, that Zoom's a tough act to follow. Glad I'm not...
Oh. You're gonna do great too.
Uh, can you juggle?
And now, Spinner Cortez.
Let's just hope he's as funny as he looks.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
Deep breath. Now go up there and knock them dead.
You're up. Good luck, kid.
Thanks, Spinner.
Hi, everybody. I'm Zeke.
I mean, uh, he's...
I'm, uh...
Hey, uh, how many Earth-invading aliens does it take...
...to fall off a cliff in a crystal battlezone?
All of them.
[AUDIENCE MEMBER COUGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
Guess you had to be there.
[ENGLISH SDH]