1 00:00:03,407 --> 00:00:05,542 "Madonna." 2 00:00:05,609 --> 00:00:08,778 Simply saying the word aloud makes me feel powerful. 3 00:00:08,846 --> 00:00:12,115 Even in voice-over, how I have worshipped her 4 00:00:12,183 --> 00:00:13,883 ever since I was a little girl. 5 00:00:13,951 --> 00:00:17,387 Sorry, Angie Jolie, Catherine the Great... 6 00:00:17,455 --> 00:00:19,889 Madonna is the most powerful woman 7 00:00:19,957 --> 00:00:22,392 to ever walk the face of the Earth. 8 00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:24,627 I'm instating a new policy whereby 9 00:00:27,031 --> 00:00:29,432 quite loudly, throughout the entire school day. 10 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:32,202 But blasting her delicious hooks would make it impossible 11 00:00:32,269 --> 00:00:34,070 for the students to concentrate. 12 00:00:34,138 --> 00:00:36,306 Ah, who cares? Madonna never finished college. 13 00:00:36,374 --> 00:00:37,707 She hopped a cab for the bright lights 14 00:00:37,775 --> 00:00:40,677 of New York City with 35 bucks in her pocket. 15 00:00:40,745 --> 00:00:43,346 And I think we should encourage our pupils to do the same. 16 00:00:43,414 --> 00:00:44,814 You say the word, and I will provide you 17 00:00:44,882 --> 00:00:46,282 a list of the students I believe should be 18 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,817 rounded up and shipped off immediately. 19 00:00:47,885 --> 00:00:50,620 I am sorry, Sue. This is insanity! 20 00:00:50,688 --> 00:00:53,089 What you call insanity, I call inspiration. 21 00:00:53,157 --> 00:00:55,425 Let me break it down for you. 22 00:00:55,493 --> 00:00:57,327 It's been the biggest dream of my career 23 00:00:57,395 --> 00:00:58,828 to pay homage to Madonna... 24 00:00:58,896 --> 00:01:00,830 the woman most responsible for my take-no-prisoners 25 00:01:00,898 --> 00:01:03,266 demeanor, and my subconscious tendency to always be 26 00:01:03,334 --> 00:01:05,268 desperately looking for someone named Susan. 27 00:01:05,336 --> 00:01:07,170 And now, my Cheerio Squad this year 28 00:01:07,238 --> 00:01:09,939 finally has the talent to make that dream come true. 29 00:01:10,007 --> 00:01:12,175 You will not take that dream from me. 30 00:01:12,243 --> 00:01:14,310 Do you not understand 31 00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,012 the blackmail process and how it works? 32 00:01:16,781 --> 00:01:18,515 Smile. 33 00:01:20,584 --> 00:01:22,185 I have your wife's phone number on speed dial. 34 00:01:23,654 --> 00:01:25,588 To recap, you will be playing those Madonna hits 35 00:01:25,656 --> 00:01:27,957 throughout the day at an earsplitting volume. 36 00:01:28,025 --> 00:01:32,529 Understood? Santana. 37 00:01:32,596 --> 00:01:33,863 What does your bracelet say? 38 00:01:33,931 --> 00:01:37,067 "W.W.M.D." "What would Madonna do?" 39 00:01:37,134 --> 00:01:39,235 Well, the answer to that question is usually 40 00:01:39,303 --> 00:01:40,603 date a younger man. 41 00:01:40,671 --> 00:01:42,906 So, let's see some arm candy, girls. 44 00:01:46,744 --> 00:01:49,145 And you know why? 'Cause if you want to be 45 00:01:49,213 --> 00:01:51,214 as riveting a performer as Madonna... 46 00:01:51,282 --> 00:01:53,116 a skill that will nab us Nationals 47 00:01:53,184 --> 00:01:55,785 this year... you're going to have to start 48 00:01:55,853 --> 00:02:00,190 thinking like her, acting like her. Also... 49 00:02:00,257 --> 00:02:01,991 à la Madonna, I will no longer acknowledge 50 00:02:02,059 --> 00:02:03,626 that any of you have last names. 51 00:02:03,694 --> 00:02:07,097 Becky Jackson. From now on, 52 00:02:07,164 --> 00:02:12,936 you're just Becky... You know, it's like Madonna once said, 53 00:02:13,003 --> 00:02:15,638 "I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know what I want. 54 00:02:15,706 --> 00:02:19,109 If that makes me a bitch, okay." 55 00:02:19,176 --> 00:02:23,546 I'm pretty sure she stole that line from one Sue Sylvester. 56 00:02:23,614 --> 00:02:24,948 No, really, she stole it from me. 57 00:02:25,015 --> 00:02:29,819 I said it first. Palladium. '87. 58 00:02:29,887 --> 00:02:33,038 English, Correct And Sync By YesCool addic7ed.com -- isubs.coil.us.to 59 00:02:37,261 --> 00:02:40,130 - Can I ask you guys something private? - Yes, you should move to Israel. 60 00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:48,671 It's about dating. Not that I'm dating anyone. 61 00:02:48,739 --> 00:02:50,306 We all know that Finn and I are no longer an item, 62 00:02:50,374 --> 00:02:51,941 and for the sake of the team, I broke up with Jessie. 63 00:02:53,511 --> 00:02:55,512 But let's just say I was dating someone. 64 00:02:55,579 --> 00:02:58,781 Let's just say, hypothetically, we went to a Wiggles concert 65 00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:00,083 last Friday night, and then because my dads 66 00:03:00,151 --> 00:03:01,417 weren't home, we went up to my room 67 00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:05,021 and started making out. It was erotic and romantic. 68 00:03:05,089 --> 00:03:09,092 And then he said... We should do it. 69 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:13,763 - "It"? Totally. - Haven't you done it before? 70 00:03:13,831 --> 00:03:17,500 - No. - Have you? 71 00:03:17,568 --> 00:03:23,173 - What do you think? - It's no big deal. 72 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,341 For a girl, it is. 73 00:03:25,409 --> 00:03:27,911 What if then he got really crabby and left, and didn't even 74 00:03:27,978 --> 00:03:29,946 take home the Care Bear I won him playing Skee Ball? 75 00:03:30,014 --> 00:03:32,949 Would you please stop talking? You're grossing out my baby. 76 00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:35,318 I just want to be ready... I know I'm getting older, 77 00:03:35,386 --> 00:03:37,787 and these things are going to happen someday, but 78 00:03:37,855 --> 00:03:40,990 how do I stop a guy from getting mad at me for saying "no"? 79 00:03:41,058 --> 00:03:42,859 Just do what I do. Never say "no." 80 00:03:42,927 --> 00:03:45,662 Oh, totally. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? 81 00:03:45,729 --> 00:03:48,164 - Sorry, Quinn. - Look, girl, don't ask me. 82 00:03:48,232 --> 00:03:49,933 The last guy I liked was the mayor of gaytown. 83 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,434 And I can't wait to get a guy 84 00:03:51,502 --> 00:03:53,870 - ...Mad at me for saying "no." - We just have to accept 85 00:03:53,938 --> 00:03:55,838 that guys don't care about our feelings. 86 00:03:55,906 --> 00:03:58,174 Like, the other day, I was walking with Artie... 87 00:03:58,242 --> 00:03:59,676 I've thought a lot about it, and I forgive you 88 00:03:59,743 --> 00:04:01,211 for lying about your stutter. 89 00:04:01,278 --> 00:04:03,146 However, if you're planning on getting all up on this, 90 00:04:03,214 --> 00:04:04,681 I'm going to need you to make some changes. 91 00:04:04,748 --> 00:04:06,916 The goth thing was two years ago, so maybe lose 92 00:04:06,984 --> 00:04:09,485 the vampire makeup and consider some tighter-fitting clothing. 93 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,988 You've got the pow, and I believe you should work it more 94 00:04:12,056 --> 00:04:16,459 if we're going to be an item. That's got to sting. 95 00:04:17,761 --> 00:04:21,297 Hey, guys. I'm sorry to interrupt your little sorority, 96 00:04:21,365 --> 00:04:22,565 but I couldn't help but overhearing. 97 00:04:22,633 --> 00:04:25,401 Are you really having that much boy trouble? 98 00:04:25,469 --> 00:04:28,204 You wouldn't understand, Mr. Shue. You're a guy. 99 00:04:30,174 --> 00:04:32,141 Well, then maybe you should talk to someone else about it. 100 00:04:32,209 --> 00:04:34,244 - Like Ms. Pillsbury. - I tried that. 101 00:04:34,311 --> 00:04:36,546 Oh, um, that's a hot-button topic, isn't it? 102 00:04:36,614 --> 00:04:38,214 I mean, when to do that. 103 00:04:38,282 --> 00:04:39,916 This is the perfect chat to have with your mom. 104 00:04:39,984 --> 00:04:42,986 - I have two gay dads. - Right, right... you... 105 00:04:43,053 --> 00:04:44,387 How about your rabbi? 106 00:04:44,455 --> 00:04:46,522 I really don't feel comfortable talking about this 107 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:49,993 with Rabbi Greenberg. Aren't you a guidance counselor? 108 00:04:53,097 --> 00:04:55,999 The fact is is that women still earn 70 cents, 109 00:04:56,066 --> 00:04:59,235 to every dollar that a man does for doing the same job. 110 00:04:59,303 --> 00:05:01,070 That attitude starts in high school. 111 00:05:03,874 --> 00:05:06,809 I don't know what to say. I mean, 112 00:05:06,877 --> 00:05:09,312 I can't do this job if I don't have the kids' confidence. 113 00:05:09,380 --> 00:05:11,714 Now, I get that this area of interest is, uh, 114 00:05:11,782 --> 00:05:14,884 your blind spot, but I want to help you so that the next time 115 00:05:14,952 --> 00:05:16,286 a girl comes in here asking those 116 00:05:16,353 --> 00:05:20,990 kinds of questions, you'll be prepared. I'm not saying you need to have sex. 117 00:05:21,058 --> 00:05:23,893 No! No, no, no. No, that's not what you were offering. 118 00:05:23,961 --> 00:05:25,061 - Just... - Why would you offer that? 119 00:05:25,129 --> 00:05:27,630 - It wasn't what I was thinking. - Wishful thinking is all that was. 120 00:05:27,698 --> 00:05:29,132 I mean, what this is all really about is 121 00:05:29,199 --> 00:05:30,633 teenage girls feeling like they have no power. 122 00:05:30,701 --> 00:05:32,602 Right, and it makes sense, too. I mean, look at their 123 00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:35,371 role models, you know? You've got Britney Spears and her shaved head. 124 00:05:35,439 --> 00:05:37,774 Lindsay Lohan looks like something out of Lord of the Rings. 125 00:05:37,841 --> 00:05:39,075 Ann Coulter. 126 00:05:41,812 --> 00:05:44,280 Let's work together to try to find a way 127 00:05:44,348 --> 00:05:45,948 to make them feel more confident about themselves. 128 00:05:46,016 --> 00:05:48,418 Yeah, I like that. 129 00:05:48,485 --> 00:05:50,953 Yes, we will change the world one girl at a time. 130 00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:52,822 We'll be like a girl-saving team. 131 00:05:52,890 --> 00:05:55,591 And maybe along the way, we can find 132 00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:57,627 a way to help you, too. 133 00:06:21,318 --> 00:06:26,322 "Zephyr in the sky "at night I wonder 134 00:06:26,390 --> 00:06:32,299 "do my tears of mourning "sink beneath the sun? 135 00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:41,371 "She's got herself a universe gone quickly 136 00:06:41,438 --> 00:06:44,907 "for the call of thunder 137 00:06:44,975 --> 00:06:50,413 "threatens everyone... 138 00:06:50,481 --> 00:06:55,852 "And I feel like I just got home, and I feel 139 00:06:57,921 --> 00:07:02,091 "And I feel like I just got home 140 00:07:02,159 --> 00:07:06,028 "and I feel... 141 00:07:17,374 --> 00:07:21,411 Sloppy freak show babies! 142 00:07:21,478 --> 00:07:23,746 Somewhere in the English countryside, 143 00:07:23,814 --> 00:07:27,517 in a stately manor home, Madonna is weeping! 144 00:07:27,584 --> 00:07:29,152 Hit the showers! 145 00:07:32,990 --> 00:07:34,424 Oh, hey, William. 146 00:07:34,491 --> 00:07:36,225 I thought I smelled cookies wafting 147 00:07:36,293 --> 00:07:38,861 from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair. 148 00:07:38,929 --> 00:07:42,432 - Wow, Sue. I'm really impressed. - Yeah, well, Madonna is legend. 149 00:07:42,499 --> 00:07:45,635 And I want my girls to learn all the lessons she has to offer: 150 00:07:45,702 --> 00:07:48,271 Strength, independence... 151 00:07:48,338 --> 00:07:52,275 Nobody quite like the Material Girl to empower my Cheerios. 152 00:07:52,342 --> 00:07:54,277 Just like your hairdresser has empowered you 153 00:07:54,344 --> 00:07:56,512 to look absolutely ridiculous. 154 00:07:57,815 --> 00:08:03,553 - I'll see you later, Sue. - You think this is hard? 155 00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:07,457 I'm passing a gallstone as we speak! That's hard! 156 00:08:07,524 --> 00:08:10,026 What comes to mind when you see that name? 157 00:08:10,093 --> 00:08:13,596 - Genius. Icon. - Hall of Fame MILF. 158 00:08:14,765 --> 00:08:18,768 So, we're all aware of Madonna's musical and cultural significance, 159 00:08:18,836 --> 00:08:21,938 which is why this week, your assignment 160 00:08:22,005 --> 00:08:23,806 is to come up with a Madonna number. 161 00:08:23,874 --> 00:08:27,743 - Yes! Yes! - Uh, Mr. Shue? 162 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,146 As a dude, Madonna makes me kind of uncomfortable. 163 00:08:30,214 --> 00:08:31,614 Yeah, she's smokin' and everything, 164 00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:33,216 but can't some of us do something else? 165 00:08:33,283 --> 00:08:37,854 Like the guy version of Madonna? Like, you know, Pantera? 166 00:08:37,921 --> 00:08:39,689 Guys! You know, it's come to my attention 167 00:08:39,756 --> 00:08:41,157 that many of you haven't been treating 168 00:08:41,225 --> 00:08:44,560 the young ladies of our group very nicely lately. 169 00:08:44,628 --> 00:08:46,529 You're disrespectful, bullying, 170 00:08:46,597 --> 00:08:49,499 sexist, and I hate to say it, misogynistic. 171 00:08:49,566 --> 00:08:51,534 I have no idea what that means. 172 00:08:51,602 --> 00:08:54,804 When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist. 173 00:08:56,940 --> 00:09:00,910 What it means is, put yourself in their shoes for a change. 174 00:09:00,978 --> 00:09:04,046 Culturally, Madonna's legacy transcends her music, 175 00:09:04,114 --> 00:09:06,382 because by and large, the subtext of her songs are about 176 00:09:06,450 --> 00:09:08,718 being strong, independent 177 00:09:08,785 --> 00:09:11,487 and-and confident, no matter what your sex. 178 00:09:11,555 --> 00:09:13,723 But more than anything, Madonna's musical message 179 00:09:13,790 --> 00:09:15,224 is about equality. 180 00:09:15,292 --> 00:09:18,494 And that is something I think you guys need to work on. 181 00:09:18,562 --> 00:09:22,031 Mr. Shue, I don't think we can have an honest conversation 182 00:09:22,099 --> 00:09:23,366 about Ms. Ciccone without acknowledging 183 00:09:23,433 --> 00:09:25,668 that her images are as indelible as her songs. 184 00:09:25,736 --> 00:09:27,737 I would like to honor her contributions by tackling 185 00:09:27,804 --> 00:09:29,138 a multi-media project 186 00:09:29,206 --> 00:09:31,007 - with Mercedes. - Great. 187 00:09:31,074 --> 00:09:34,176 - Go for it, Kurt. - I'm still not down. 188 00:09:34,244 --> 00:09:35,344 And no chick intimidates Puckzilla. 189 00:09:35,412 --> 00:09:37,813 I just don't think her music translates to show choir. 190 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:40,883 Really? Well I, for one, couldn't disagree more. 191 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,754 "Express Yourself,"go. 192 00:09:49,493 --> 00:09:51,928 "Do you believe in love? 193 00:09:51,995 --> 00:09:53,496 "'Cause I got something to say about it, 194 00:09:53,564 --> 00:09:55,865 "and it goes something like this. 195 00:09:55,933 --> 00:09:59,936 "Don't go for second best, baby, 196 00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:02,338 "put your love to the test. 197 00:10:02,406 --> 00:10:04,774 "You know, you know, you've got to 198 00:10:04,841 --> 00:10:07,810 "make him express how he feels 199 00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:11,113 "and maybe then you know your love is real. 200 00:10:13,183 --> 00:10:16,218 "You don't need diamond rings 201 00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:21,190 "or 18-karat gold, 202 00:10:21,258 --> 00:10:24,727 "fancy cars that go very fast, you know, 203 00:10:24,795 --> 00:10:29,098 "they never last, no, no. 204 00:10:29,166 --> 00:10:32,368 "What you need is a big, strong hand 205 00:10:32,436 --> 00:10:37,640 "to lift you to your higher ground. 206 00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:41,143 "Make you feel like a queen on a throne 207 00:10:41,211 --> 00:10:46,582 "make him love you till you can't come down. 208 00:10:46,650 --> 00:10:49,652 "Don't go for second best, baby, 209 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,321 "put your love to the test. 210 00:10:52,389 --> 00:10:54,590 "You know, you know, you've got to 211 00:10:54,658 --> 00:10:57,593 "make him express how he feels 212 00:10:57,661 --> 00:11:03,032 "and maybe then you'll know your love is real. 213 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:07,903 "And when you're gone, he might regret it. 214 00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:10,740 "Think about the love you once had, 215 00:11:10,807 --> 00:11:13,376 "Try to carry on, 216 00:11:13,443 --> 00:11:15,778 "But he just won't get it. 217 00:11:15,846 --> 00:11:19,849 "Hey... "He'll be back on his knees, so please 218 00:11:19,916 --> 00:11:23,152 "Don't go for second best, baby, 219 00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:25,421 "put your love to the test. 220 00:11:25,489 --> 00:11:27,823 "You know, you know you've got to 221 00:11:27,891 --> 00:11:30,593 "make him express how he feels 222 00:11:30,661 --> 00:11:34,230 "and maybe then you'll know your love is real. 223 00:11:34,297 --> 00:11:36,165 "Let him know your love is real. 224 00:11:36,233 --> 00:11:39,602 "You've got to make him express himself. 225 00:11:39,670 --> 00:11:42,638 "Hey, hey, hey, hey. 226 00:11:42,706 --> 00:11:45,675 "Put your love to the test., "So if you want it right now, 227 00:11:45,742 --> 00:11:48,010 "make him show you how. "Make him show how he feels. 228 00:11:48,078 --> 00:11:49,979 "Express what he's got. 229 00:11:50,047 --> 00:11:52,114 "Oh, baby, ready or not. 230 00:11:52,182 --> 00:11:55,317 "Express yourself. 231 00:11:57,220 --> 00:12:00,322 That's what I'm talking about. All right. 232 00:12:03,901 --> 00:12:07,237 - I look smokin' hot. - Guess who I'm dating. 233 00:12:07,304 --> 00:12:10,473 - Who? - Wes Brody. He's super cute. 234 00:12:10,541 --> 00:12:12,242 He plays soccer with my sister. 235 00:12:12,309 --> 00:12:15,612 - He's seven. - Oh! Crap. 236 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,648 I need a younger, inferior man. If I don't find one, 237 00:12:18,716 --> 00:12:20,417 Coach Sylvester will kick me off the Cheerios, for sure. 238 00:12:20,484 --> 00:12:21,718 Hello? Finn! 239 00:12:21,786 --> 00:12:23,586 His birthday's like three days before yours, 240 00:12:23,654 --> 00:12:24,921 and he's super dumb. 241 00:12:24,989 --> 00:12:27,023 We already tried with Finn, and he hates us. 242 00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:30,326 Trust me, the way to get a man to follow you forever... 243 00:12:30,394 --> 00:12:32,462 take his virginity. 244 00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:34,798 Madonna, like, wrote a song about it. 245 00:12:34,865 --> 00:12:38,768 "You're not convinced that that is enough... 246 00:12:38,836 --> 00:12:40,437 Hey, Finnocence. 247 00:12:40,504 --> 00:12:43,006 You know, I've been thinking, and I think we should go out. 248 00:12:43,074 --> 00:12:44,874 Just you and me this time, no third wheel. 249 00:12:44,942 --> 00:12:48,278 - Will you talk to me this time? - I don't really talk during. 250 00:12:50,081 --> 00:12:53,216 Look, Finn, It's high time you lost the big V. 251 00:12:53,284 --> 00:12:55,452 Everything about you screams virgin. 252 00:12:55,519 --> 00:12:57,721 You're about as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid. 253 00:12:57,788 --> 00:13:01,658 - It's exhausting to look at you. - Well, look, I appreciate the offer, 254 00:13:01,726 --> 00:13:02,959 but I have feelings for someone else, 255 00:13:03,027 --> 00:13:04,661 and I'm trying to work things out with them. So... 256 00:13:04,729 --> 00:13:06,129 Who, Rachel? 257 00:13:06,197 --> 00:13:08,164 She's dating that Jessie kid from Vocal Adrenaline. 258 00:13:08,232 --> 00:13:10,967 No, she's not. Please, you can smell it on her. 259 00:13:11,035 --> 00:13:12,469 She's like a cat in heat. 260 00:13:12,536 --> 00:13:14,704 She talked about him yesterday and practically 261 00:13:14,772 --> 00:13:20,076 - Sprayed the choir room. - So come on, let's do the deed. 262 00:13:20,144 --> 00:13:21,611 It'll be great for my image, 263 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:23,346 and Sue will promote me to head cheerleader. 264 00:13:23,414 --> 00:13:24,447 It's win-win. 265 00:13:24,515 --> 00:13:27,884 Wait, what... what do I get out of it? 266 00:13:27,952 --> 00:13:29,219 I don't know. 267 00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,387 You get to have sex and make Rachel jealous. 268 00:13:31,455 --> 00:13:36,126 - I meant for me, okay? - It's win-win for me. 269 00:13:38,529 --> 00:13:41,664 - You wanted to see me? - Sue! 270 00:13:41,732 --> 00:13:44,033 Um... Yeah. Thank you for coming. Please sit down. 271 00:13:44,101 --> 00:13:50,086 No. Okay. Um, I was just wondering 272 00:13:50,174 --> 00:13:52,475 why Madonna's playing everywhere except my office. 273 00:13:52,543 --> 00:13:54,043 Well, it's simple, Arlene. 274 00:13:54,111 --> 00:13:57,046 You don't deserve the power of Madonna. 275 00:13:57,114 --> 00:13:58,248 You have none of her self-confidence, 276 00:13:58,315 --> 00:14:01,417 her power over her body or her sexual magnetism. 277 00:14:01,485 --> 00:14:04,087 Simply put, you have all the sensuality 278 00:14:04,155 --> 00:14:06,156 of one of those pandas down at the zoo 279 00:14:06,223 --> 00:14:07,757 who refuse to mate. 280 00:14:07,825 --> 00:14:11,995 I had your, uh, intercom disconnected. 281 00:14:17,768 --> 00:14:19,068 There you go. 282 00:14:19,136 --> 00:14:21,070 Finn, I was just coming to find you. 283 00:14:21,138 --> 00:14:23,640 Look, I know that the boys were a little uncomfortable 284 00:14:23,707 --> 00:14:25,141 about this Madonna assignment, 285 00:14:25,209 --> 00:14:27,377 so I figured you and I as co-captains 286 00:14:27,444 --> 00:14:29,112 could do a little mash-up of a bunch of her songs 287 00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,181 just to show everyone how cool it can be. 288 00:14:31,248 --> 00:14:33,817 Yeah, sure, whatever. 289 00:14:33,884 --> 00:14:35,618 Look, are you still dating that Jessie kid? 290 00:14:35,686 --> 00:14:39,489 - No, no. - Who told you that? 291 00:14:39,557 --> 00:14:42,158 Look, I know things have been weird between us, 292 00:14:42,226 --> 00:14:45,161 but I never thought you'd lie to me. 293 00:14:45,229 --> 00:14:47,030 Look, please just don't tell anyone. 294 00:14:47,097 --> 00:14:48,498 Unbelievable. 295 00:14:48,566 --> 00:14:51,701 We may not be together the way that Jessie and I are, 296 00:14:51,769 --> 00:14:53,536 but we can still be friends. 297 00:14:53,604 --> 00:14:59,175 I-I'm asking you as my friend to trust me. 298 00:15:01,478 --> 00:15:05,548 Fine... but if this leads to something bad for all of us, 299 00:15:05,616 --> 00:15:08,251 don't expect any more friendship from me. 300 00:15:08,319 --> 00:15:12,522 - Noted. - All right, let's rehearse, then. 301 00:15:20,898 --> 00:15:26,302 "Something in the way you love me won't let me be. 302 00:15:28,739 --> 00:15:30,974 "I don't wanna be your prisoner 303 00:15:31,041 --> 00:15:33,743 "so baby, won't you set me free? 304 00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:39,649 "Stop playing with my heart, 305 00:15:39,717 --> 00:15:41,584 "finish what you start, 306 00:15:41,652 --> 00:15:44,954 "when you make my love come down. 307 00:15:45,022 --> 00:15:47,323 "If you want me, let me know. 308 00:15:47,391 --> 00:15:49,359 "Baby, let it show. 309 00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,527 "Honey, don't you fool around. 310 00:15:51,595 --> 00:15:53,596 "Don't try to resist me, 311 00:15:53,664 --> 00:15:57,834 "open your heart to me, baby. 312 00:15:57,902 --> 00:16:02,038 "I'll hold the lock and you hold the key. 313 00:16:02,106 --> 00:16:06,009 "Open your heart to me, darling. 314 00:16:06,076 --> 00:16:09,879 "I'll give you love if you, you turn the key. 315 00:16:09,947 --> 00:16:14,784 "Something in your eyes is making such a fool of me. 316 00:16:14,852 --> 00:16:18,087 "You're making me, you're making such a fool of me. 317 00:16:18,155 --> 00:16:22,292 "I see you on the street and you walk on by. 318 00:16:22,359 --> 00:16:25,762 "You're on the street, I see you when you're walking by. 319 00:16:25,829 --> 00:16:28,031 "When you hold me in your arms 320 00:16:28,098 --> 00:16:30,700 "you love me till I just can't see. 321 00:16:30,768 --> 00:16:34,671 "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 322 00:16:34,738 --> 00:16:39,676 "So you choose to look the other way. 323 00:16:39,743 --> 00:16:41,978 "Well, I've got something to say. 324 00:16:42,046 --> 00:16:46,649 "Open your heart to me, baby. 325 00:16:46,717 --> 00:16:50,820 "I'll hold the lock and you hold the key. 326 00:16:50,888 --> 00:16:54,924 "Open your heart to me, darling. 327 00:16:54,992 --> 00:17:00,029 "I'll give you love if you, you turn the key. 328 00:17:00,097 --> 00:17:03,299 "Open your heart, I'll make you love me. 329 00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:06,936 "I'll hold the lock and you hold the key. 330 00:17:07,004 --> 00:17:10,807 "Open your heart to me, darling 331 00:17:10,874 --> 00:17:15,345 "I'll give you love if you, you turn the key. 332 00:17:19,316 --> 00:17:25,254 "Open your heart with the key. 333 00:17:28,135 --> 00:17:30,627 - That was good. - Totally. 334 00:17:37,114 --> 00:17:40,548 - Hey guys, how's the assignment coming along? - Oh, amazing. 335 00:17:40,616 --> 00:17:42,950 You know how Madonna kind of reinvented the video, right? 336 00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:45,219 Well, we got Artie and the A/V Club to help out. 337 00:17:45,287 --> 00:17:47,021 We're gonna make a Madonna video of our own. 338 00:17:47,089 --> 00:17:48,823 It's going to be "Madge-ical." 339 00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:50,925 Madge... you know, Madonna's nickname? 340 00:17:50,993 --> 00:17:52,994 Okay, you really got to get up to speed here. 341 00:17:53,061 --> 00:17:53,794 Hey... Schuester! 342 00:17:55,464 --> 00:17:57,765 I heard a juicy little rumor that your Up With People rejects 343 00:17:57,833 --> 00:17:59,300 were doing some Madonna songs. Is that true? 344 00:17:59,368 --> 00:18:01,369 Yeah, well, to be honest, Sue, 345 00:18:01,436 --> 00:18:03,037 I got inspired watching your Cheerios. 346 00:18:03,105 --> 00:18:05,172 Well, I have been waiting years to pay tribute to her, 347 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,108 and you are not swooping in at the last minute 348 00:18:07,175 --> 00:18:09,610 to snatch her from my talons. 349 00:18:09,678 --> 00:18:12,713 Madonna belongs to me, and I will not be copied. 350 00:18:12,781 --> 00:18:16,717 - It's in my contract. I want you to listen very closely. 351 00:18:16,785 --> 00:18:19,320 You can have your Barbras and your Chers 352 00:18:19,388 --> 00:18:20,921 and your Christinas... 353 00:18:20,989 --> 00:18:23,024 and wow, I just lost my train of thought. 354 00:18:23,091 --> 00:18:24,792 You have so much margarine in your hair. 355 00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:27,862 Okay, first of all, my kids are doing Madonna. 356 00:18:27,929 --> 00:18:30,297 She's public domain, and there's nothing you can do about it. 357 00:18:30,365 --> 00:18:32,867 Secondly, enough with the hair jokes. 358 00:18:32,934 --> 00:18:36,370 Oh, by the way, how's the Florence Henderson look working out for you? 359 00:18:36,438 --> 00:18:39,473 Oh... "And you should know I suffer the same... 360 00:18:39,541 --> 00:18:42,877 Oh, maybe you should try a new setting on your Flowbee. 361 00:18:42,944 --> 00:18:44,578 Oh, snap! 362 00:18:49,551 --> 00:18:54,188 "Love is a bird, "she needs to fly. 363 00:18:54,256 --> 00:18:58,159 "Let all the hurt inside of you die. 364 00:18:58,226 --> 00:19:03,764 "You're frozen "when your heart's not open... 365 00:19:03,832 --> 00:19:06,701 Who else wants a piece of this, huh?! 366 00:19:10,872 --> 00:19:15,843 "Give yourself to me. 367 00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:25,352 Hey, uh, so, that offer of yours to lose... the big V... 368 00:19:26,922 --> 00:19:28,956 ...I'm in. 369 00:19:29,024 --> 00:19:33,160 "If I could melt your heart... 370 00:19:37,532 --> 00:19:42,470 - Ms. Sylvester, we'd like a word. - We saw how upset you got today. 371 00:19:42,537 --> 00:19:44,105 I don't know what you're talking about. 372 00:19:44,172 --> 00:19:45,473 We saw your face 373 00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:47,141 after Mr. Schuester insulted your hair. 374 00:19:47,209 --> 00:19:52,113 Close the door. Sit down. 375 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:59,320 You know, kids, I grew up with a handi-capable sister. 376 00:19:59,387 --> 00:20:02,723 My parents were famous Nazi hunters, 377 00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:06,160 - So they weren't around a lot. - I had to bring her up on my own. 378 00:20:06,228 --> 00:20:08,162 I didn't have a lot of time or money 379 00:20:08,230 --> 00:20:10,264 to keep up with all the latest looks. 380 00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:15,102 But on my sixth birthday, True Blue was released. 381 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:19,673 An album that would later sell over 30 million copies. 382 00:20:19,741 --> 00:20:22,076 My sister and I took it upon ourselves to bleach my hair 383 00:20:22,144 --> 00:20:24,345 with whatever chemicals we could find around the house. 384 00:20:24,412 --> 00:20:26,247 Ammonia, napalm. 385 00:20:26,314 --> 00:20:29,450 My hair was so damaged, I've been forced to wear it short 386 00:20:29,518 --> 00:20:31,051 ever since. 387 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:35,756 It's been a daily, ongoing pain. Wait, that would make you, like, 30. 388 00:20:35,824 --> 00:20:36,891 29. 389 00:20:36,958 --> 00:20:41,061 And here's the truth: I mercilessly pick on 390 00:20:41,129 --> 00:20:43,798 Will Schuester's lustrous, wavy hair 391 00:20:43,865 --> 00:20:48,335 because I'm jealous. There, I said it. 392 00:20:48,403 --> 00:20:51,305 - I think we can help. - Mercedes is black. I'm gay. 393 00:20:51,373 --> 00:20:53,507 We make culture. Go on. 394 00:20:53,575 --> 00:20:56,010 We're working on an exciting new project 395 00:20:56,077 --> 00:20:57,711 and would like to use the Cheerios. 396 00:20:57,779 --> 00:20:59,613 And we can help you find a new look. 397 00:20:59,681 --> 00:21:01,715 Interesting. 398 00:21:01,783 --> 00:21:05,920 "Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do... Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do... " 399 00:21:05,987 --> 00:21:08,656 "Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do... 400 00:21:08,723 --> 00:21:12,426 "Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do! 401 00:21:15,063 --> 00:21:18,065 - Sondheim on Music. - Jessie, is that you? 402 00:21:18,133 --> 00:21:20,000 I'm so glad you came. 403 00:21:20,068 --> 00:21:22,203 I picked the Stephen Sondheim biography section 404 00:21:22,270 --> 00:21:24,138 for our clandestine meeting place, 405 00:21:24,206 --> 00:21:27,675 because only he would be able to express my melancholia. 406 00:21:27,742 --> 00:21:29,844 I feel bad about what happened at your house. 407 00:21:29,911 --> 00:21:31,412 Do you still have my Care Bear? 408 00:21:31,479 --> 00:21:34,648 - Yes. - Since we're meeting in the shadows, 409 00:21:34,716 --> 00:21:36,083 there's something I wanted to talk to you about. 410 00:21:36,151 --> 00:21:37,785 Me first. 411 00:21:37,853 --> 00:21:40,521 I was out of line the other night. You deserve more than that. 412 00:21:40,589 --> 00:21:47,027 You deserve romance... no, you deserve epic romance. 413 00:21:47,095 --> 00:21:50,097 I feel badly that I pressured you into... you know, 414 00:21:50,165 --> 00:21:54,735 going all the way. I'm willing to wait. 415 00:21:54,803 --> 00:21:56,670 You tell me when you're ready. 416 00:21:56,738 --> 00:22:00,441 And I'll make sure that I'm fastidiously groomed. 417 00:22:03,044 --> 00:22:08,983 - What did you want to tell me? - I'm ready. 418 00:22:17,425 --> 00:22:19,760 Hey, that catch was amazing Tuesday. 419 00:22:19,828 --> 00:22:25,266 - Will! Hey. Hey, wait up. - All right. How's it going? 420 00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:28,235 Good. Um... okay, I've realized something, 421 00:22:28,303 --> 00:22:30,704 something really important. 422 00:22:30,772 --> 00:22:32,673 You know when we were talking about Madonna the other day 423 00:22:32,741 --> 00:22:35,342 and how her music was being blasted like an intimidating cluster bomb 424 00:22:35,410 --> 00:22:36,677 into everybody's office except for mine 425 00:22:36,745 --> 00:22:39,046 because, apparently, I lack a shred of sex appeal? 426 00:22:39,114 --> 00:22:41,515 Well, it struck me that the Big Mo is always in control of everything. 427 00:22:41,583 --> 00:22:44,451 Her life is her own. Okay. 428 00:22:44,519 --> 00:22:48,956 So I need to take control of myself and my body, 429 00:22:49,024 --> 00:22:53,060 just like Madonna. Which is why... 430 00:22:53,128 --> 00:22:55,195 I'm planning on doing the nasty with you 431 00:22:55,263 --> 00:22:57,298 tonight at your place. 432 00:22:57,365 --> 00:23:00,434 Foreplay shall begin at 7:30 sharp. 433 00:23:00,502 --> 00:23:05,472 - So, what do you think? - Not that it matters. 434 00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:06,540 I couldn't agree more. 435 00:23:06,608 --> 00:23:08,776 - Great. - Great. - 7:30. - Cool. 436 00:23:16,327 --> 00:23:22,132 "Vogue,"take one. Sound speed... 437 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:28,004 and action. And playback. 438 00:23:45,456 --> 00:23:46,623 Strike a pose. 439 00:23:53,297 --> 00:23:57,400 "Look around, everywhere you turn is heartache, 440 00:23:57,468 --> 00:24:02,105 "it's everywhere that you go. "Go, go, go, go... 441 00:24:02,173 --> 00:24:05,675 "You try everything you can to escape 442 00:24:05,743 --> 00:24:09,379 "the pain of life that you know. "The life that you know... 443 00:24:09,447 --> 00:24:13,149 "When all else fails and you long to be 444 00:24:13,217 --> 00:24:17,787 "something better than you are today, 445 00:24:17,855 --> 00:24:21,458 "I know a place where you can get away, 446 00:24:21,526 --> 00:24:24,828 "it's called a dance floor, and here's what it's for. 447 00:24:24,896 --> 00:24:28,899 "So come on, vogue. 448 00:24:28,966 --> 00:24:33,904 "Let your body move to the music. "Move to the music., "Hey, hey, hey 449 00:24:33,971 --> 00:24:35,438 "Come on, vogue. 450 00:24:36,908 --> 00:24:39,943 "Let your body go with the flow. 451 00:24:40,011 --> 00:24:42,812 "Go with the flow "You know you can do it 452 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,449 "Beauty's where you find it, 453 00:24:46,517 --> 00:24:51,121 "not just where you bump and grind it. 454 00:24:51,188 --> 00:24:54,558 "Soul is in the musical, 455 00:24:54,625 --> 00:24:58,828 "that's where I feel so beautiful. 456 00:24:58,896 --> 00:25:02,832 "Magical. "Life's a ball. 457 00:25:02,900 --> 00:25:05,135 "So get up on the dance floor. 458 00:25:05,202 --> 00:25:08,872 "Come on, vogue. "Vogue. 459 00:25:08,940 --> 00:25:11,474 "Let your body move to the music. 460 00:25:11,542 --> 00:25:13,343 "Move to the music. "Hey, hey, hey. 461 00:25:13,411 --> 00:25:16,680 "Come on, vogue. "Vogue. 462 00:25:16,747 --> 00:25:19,749 "Let your body go with the flow. 463 00:25:19,817 --> 00:25:21,818 "Go with the flow. "You know you can do it. 464 00:25:23,454 --> 00:25:27,557 "Vogue, vogue. "Beauty's where you find it. 465 00:25:27,625 --> 00:25:32,429 "Move to the music. "Vogue. 466 00:25:32,496 --> 00:25:35,398 "Vogue. "Beauty's where you find it. 467 00:25:35,466 --> 00:25:40,170 "Go with the flow. "Greta Garbo and Monroe 468 00:25:40,237 --> 00:25:44,407 "Dietrich and DiMaggio "Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean 469 00:25:44,475 --> 00:25:48,478 "on the cover of a magazine. "Grace Kelly, Harlow, Jean, 470 00:25:48,546 --> 00:25:52,749 "Picture of a beauty queen. "Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, 471 00:25:52,817 --> 00:25:56,653 "Sue Sylvester dance on air. "They had style, they had grace. 472 00:25:56,721 --> 00:26:00,790 "Rita Hayworth gave good face. "Lauren, Katherine, Lana, too. 473 00:26:00,858 --> 00:26:04,961 "Will Schuester, I hate you. "Ladies with an attitude. 474 00:26:05,029 --> 00:26:09,399 ♪ Fellas that were in the mood. "Don't just stand there, let's get to it. 475 00:26:09,467 --> 00:26:11,134 "Strike a pose, there's nothing to it. 476 00:26:11,202 --> 00:26:16,306 "Vogue, vogue. "Vogue, vogue. 477 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:28,318 "You've got to let your body move to the music. 478 00:26:30,855 --> 00:26:36,359 "You've got to just... "Vogue... 479 00:26:43,768 --> 00:26:48,938 - Are you ready? - In a minute. 480 00:26:56,013 --> 00:27:00,083 "I made it through the wilderness. 481 00:27:00,151 --> 00:27:04,187 "Somehow I made it through. 482 00:27:05,423 --> 00:27:11,027 "I didn't know how lost I was "until I found you. 483 00:27:12,296 --> 00:27:16,299 "I was beat, incomplete. 484 00:27:16,367 --> 00:27:20,804 "I'd been had. "I was sad and blue. 485 00:27:20,871 --> 00:27:24,474 "But you made me feel, 486 00:27:24,542 --> 00:27:32,315 "yeah, you made me feel shiny and new. 487 00:27:32,383 --> 00:27:36,019 "Like a virgin, 488 00:27:36,087 --> 00:27:39,289 "touched for the very first time. 489 00:27:40,524 --> 00:27:44,627 "Like a virgin. 490 00:27:44,695 --> 00:27:48,598 "When your heart beats next to mine. 491 00:27:48,666 --> 00:27:51,501 "Gonna give you all my love, boy. 492 00:27:51,569 --> 00:27:56,806 "My fear is fading fast. 493 00:27:56,874 --> 00:28:04,047 "I'd been saving it all for you, "'cause only love can last. 494 00:28:04,115 --> 00:28:08,485 "You're so fine "and you're mine. 495 00:28:08,552 --> 00:28:12,722 "Make me strong, "yeah, you make me bold. 496 00:28:12,790 --> 00:28:15,291 "Oh, your love thawed out, 497 00:28:16,827 --> 00:28:23,224 "yeah, your love thawed out "what was getting cold. 498 00:28:24,635 --> 00:28:25,802 "Like a virgin. 499 00:28:25,870 --> 00:28:28,238 "You make me feel like a virgin. 500 00:28:28,305 --> 00:28:30,473 "Touched for the very first time. 501 00:28:30,541 --> 00:28:32,475 "Oh, baby. 502 00:28:32,543 --> 00:28:37,046 "Like a vir-ir-irgin. 503 00:28:37,114 --> 00:28:40,383 "When your heart beats next to mine. 504 00:28:40,451 --> 00:28:46,022 "Like a virgin. "Oh-oh-oh, like a virgin. 505 00:28:46,090 --> 00:28:50,527 "Yeah, it feels so good inside. 506 00:28:50,594 --> 00:28:51,961 "When you hold me. 507 00:28:52,029 --> 00:28:53,730 "When you hold me. When your heart beats. 508 00:28:53,798 --> 00:28:56,499 "When your heart beats. "When you love me. 509 00:28:56,567 --> 00:28:58,368 "When you love me, baby. "Oh-oh. 510 00:28:58,435 --> 00:28:59,736 "Whoa. 511 00:28:59,804 --> 00:29:06,776 "Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeah. "Oh-oh... yeah. 512 00:29:07,778 --> 00:29:10,513 "Oh, like a virgin. 513 00:29:20,558 --> 00:29:26,225 - Rachel? - I'm ready. 514 00:29:33,701 --> 00:29:35,702 I wonder which look she's gonna rock. 515 00:29:35,770 --> 00:29:37,270 Doesn't matter. They were all fantastic. 516 00:29:37,338 --> 00:29:42,743 - Oh, dear. - Miss Sylvester. 517 00:29:42,810 --> 00:29:45,679 Oh, hey, there, Whoopi, Don Knotts. 518 00:29:45,747 --> 00:29:47,714 - What happened? - Well, I'll tell you what. 519 00:29:47,782 --> 00:29:50,150 All those costumes and the hairstyles, 520 00:29:50,218 --> 00:29:52,352 I'm gonna leave constant reinvention to Madonna. 521 00:29:52,420 --> 00:29:55,388 Know why? Had a revelation. 522 00:29:55,456 --> 00:29:58,558 Here's a list of the kids I want shipped off to New York 523 00:29:58,626 --> 00:30:01,628 with 35 bucks in their pocket. Operation Madonna is now complete. 524 00:30:01,696 --> 00:30:04,097 - Sue, these are all Glee kids. - Yep. 525 00:30:04,165 --> 00:30:07,200 Um... I'm sorry, Sue. 526 00:30:07,268 --> 00:30:09,569 I'm having trouble concentrating. Your new look is... 527 00:30:09,637 --> 00:30:12,806 - Fantastic. Yeah, I agree. - Unnecessary. 528 00:30:12,874 --> 00:30:17,010 Sue, you're a powerful woman. You don't need to copy anyone else. 529 00:30:17,078 --> 00:30:19,746 You're an original, just like Madonna. 530 00:30:19,814 --> 00:30:21,481 Don't lose that quality. 531 00:30:21,549 --> 00:30:23,884 Do you mean that, or are you just saying that 532 00:30:23,951 --> 00:30:25,786 because I poked a couple of kids' eyes out 533 00:30:25,853 --> 00:30:27,020 before second period today? 534 00:30:28,589 --> 00:30:32,225 See, kids, Sue Sylvester realized she didn't need to reinvent herself. 535 00:30:32,293 --> 00:30:34,928 She needs to reinvent everybody else, starting with you two. 536 00:30:41,769 --> 00:30:44,738 - Hey. - Hi. 537 00:30:44,806 --> 00:30:47,174 So how'd your date with Jessie go Friday night? 538 00:30:47,241 --> 00:30:50,110 It went wonderfully. 539 00:30:50,178 --> 00:30:52,112 Honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal. 540 00:30:52,180 --> 00:30:56,016 I mean, you know, it-it was great. 541 00:30:56,083 --> 00:30:57,684 But when it was over, I just, uh, 542 00:30:57,752 --> 00:30:59,219 you know, didn't know why 543 00:30:59,287 --> 00:31:01,087 I was so nervous in the first place. 544 00:31:02,123 --> 00:31:05,826 Just come out so we can talk... or sing about it. 545 00:31:09,564 --> 00:31:12,833 Look, Jessie, I really like you, but... 546 00:31:12,900 --> 00:31:15,068 I can't do it. 547 00:31:15,136 --> 00:31:18,138 It wouldn't be right for... the team. 548 00:31:18,206 --> 00:31:20,473 What does the team have to do with this? 549 00:31:20,541 --> 00:31:22,142 If I give myself to you 550 00:31:22,210 --> 00:31:23,610 knowing that my teammates wouldn't approve, 551 00:31:23,678 --> 00:31:26,112 it would be like I was sleeping with the enemy. 552 00:31:26,180 --> 00:31:28,982 I'd be betraying them. 553 00:31:29,050 --> 00:31:31,284 And because I'm truly not ready to do this, 554 00:31:31,352 --> 00:31:36,590 - I'd be betraying myself. - I'm happy for you. 555 00:31:36,657 --> 00:31:39,693 And, uh, what about you? 556 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:41,895 I heard that you had a date with Santana on Friday night. 557 00:31:41,963 --> 00:31:44,764 Yeah. I-I couldn't go through with it. 558 00:31:44,832 --> 00:31:46,533 Why? 559 00:31:46,601 --> 00:31:49,336 I guess I'm just waiting for the right person. 560 00:31:49,403 --> 00:31:52,472 Do you think they have room service in this place? 561 00:31:52,540 --> 00:31:56,509 - 'Cause I want a burger. - I thought I'd feel different after. 562 00:31:56,577 --> 00:31:59,212 Yeah, well, I've noticed that it takes about 20 or so times 563 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,748 before the feeling of accomplishment really kicks in. 564 00:32:01,816 --> 00:32:03,250 There's no menu, 565 00:32:03,317 --> 00:32:05,952 so you're gonna have to take me to a burger joint. 566 00:32:06,020 --> 00:32:10,790 - How do you feel? - I don't feel anything... 567 00:32:10,858 --> 00:32:12,626 'cause it didn't mean anything. 568 00:32:24,305 --> 00:32:27,274 Where have you been? I've been calling you all weekend. 569 00:32:27,341 --> 00:32:29,175 I was kind of embarrassed. 570 00:32:29,243 --> 00:32:32,913 I really wanted to go through with it, Will. 571 00:32:32,980 --> 00:32:36,016 You were so gracious and gentle and... 572 00:32:36,083 --> 00:32:40,253 handsome, and it felt so good to be close to you in that way. 573 00:32:40,321 --> 00:32:42,656 I just, I don't know why I always freak out like that. 574 00:32:42,723 --> 00:32:44,858 Stop, stop-stop-stop. 575 00:32:44,926 --> 00:32:47,127 You don't need to sleep with me to prove anything. 576 00:32:47,194 --> 00:32:48,795 You took ownership of your body on Friday 577 00:32:48,863 --> 00:32:50,230 when you told yourself you weren't ready... 578 00:32:50,298 --> 00:32:52,465 and then ran out of my apartment with no shoes on. 579 00:32:52,533 --> 00:32:54,100 They're my favorites. Did you bring them? 580 00:32:54,168 --> 00:32:56,670 I feel bad, Emma. 581 00:32:56,737 --> 00:32:58,772 I've been working so hard trying to get the guys 582 00:32:58,839 --> 00:33:00,874 to start treating the girls with more respect, 583 00:33:00,942 --> 00:33:02,442 and I haven't been walking the walk. 584 00:33:02,510 --> 00:33:05,245 I never should have agreed to have you come over that night. 585 00:33:05,313 --> 00:33:08,982 - I did kind of throw myself at you. - That is the point. 586 00:33:09,050 --> 00:33:13,086 We're falling into a pattern here. We need to instate an official 587 00:33:13,154 --> 00:33:16,890 no-dating policy until my divorce is final. 588 00:33:16,958 --> 00:33:19,626 Well, when will that be? 589 00:33:19,694 --> 00:33:24,331 I filed today. So that's a start. 590 00:33:24,398 --> 00:33:28,735 But while we're waiting, I want you to get some help 591 00:33:28,803 --> 00:33:30,370 for your problems; we need to take action here. 592 00:33:30,438 --> 00:33:32,472 They're not gonna go away unless we do. 593 00:33:32,540 --> 00:33:36,242 Now, our health union covers counseling. 594 00:33:36,310 --> 00:33:37,644 They'll come to the school, 595 00:33:37,712 --> 00:33:39,813 meet you in your office, whatever you need. 596 00:33:42,249 --> 00:33:46,886 And... I polished them myself. 597 00:33:54,128 --> 00:33:55,495 Thank you. 598 00:34:00,668 --> 00:34:03,169 - Mr. Schuester? - Yes? 599 00:34:03,237 --> 00:34:06,706 I'm Jessie St. James. Can I talk to you about something? 600 00:34:09,043 --> 00:34:11,044 What the hell?! It seems like now everybody's doing things 601 00:34:11,112 --> 00:34:12,379 just to hurt my feelings. 602 00:34:12,446 --> 00:34:13,913 I thought you all would take this news 603 00:34:13,981 --> 00:34:16,182 a little better. I'm a star. You can learn from me. 604 00:34:16,250 --> 00:34:17,517 We were already fighting for second leads. 605 00:34:17,585 --> 00:34:18,752 And now that you've shown up, 606 00:34:18,819 --> 00:34:20,387 I've lost all hope at ever getting a solo. 607 00:34:20,454 --> 00:34:21,955 Yeah, that's right. And y'all just trot me out 608 00:34:22,023 --> 00:34:24,391 at the end of every number so I can wail on the last note. 609 00:34:24,458 --> 00:34:27,460 - How is that okay? - He's a spy, Mr. Shue. I would know. 610 00:34:27,528 --> 00:34:28,862 Whoa, Whoa... guys. 611 00:34:28,929 --> 00:34:30,697 I saw all the paperwork, I spoke with his parents... 612 00:34:30,765 --> 00:34:33,333 They winter in Bali. It's a very expensive phone call. 613 00:34:33,401 --> 00:34:35,101 Jessie just moved in with his uncle, 614 00:34:35,169 --> 00:34:36,469 which is in our school district. 615 00:34:36,537 --> 00:34:39,339 It's all above board, guys. He goes to this school now. 616 00:34:39,407 --> 00:34:41,808 - But this isn't fair. - Guys! 617 00:34:41,876 --> 00:34:44,944 Everyone who's ever auditioned for this group has gotten in. 618 00:34:45,012 --> 00:34:46,413 That's how we do things here. 619 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,015 Okay, to suddenly change the rules now, 620 00:34:49,083 --> 00:34:52,652 - that would be unfair. - Brittany. 621 00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:54,554 Mr. Shue, is he your son? 622 00:34:56,991 --> 00:34:58,958 I don't understand why you're doing this. 623 00:34:59,026 --> 00:35:01,061 Because when you love something, you got to go for it. 624 00:35:01,128 --> 00:35:02,262 You would never be with me completely 625 00:35:02,329 --> 00:35:04,164 if I were on the opposing team. 626 00:35:04,231 --> 00:35:06,599 And I care about you more than winning another national title. 627 00:35:08,035 --> 00:35:10,403 So I left Vocal Adrenaline. For you. 628 00:35:12,406 --> 00:35:14,407 All right, guys, we have got a lot of work to do. 629 00:35:14,475 --> 00:35:16,176 Jessie, great to have you here. 630 00:35:16,243 --> 00:35:20,413 - Welcome aboard. Okay, from the top. - Five, six, seven, eight! 631 00:35:33,094 --> 00:35:36,629 "Hey. "Unh, come on. 632 00:35:36,697 --> 00:35:39,332 "- Kurt Hummel, take it. "- Come on, girl. 633 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:43,636 "I've been waiting for somebody to pick up my stroll. 634 00:35:46,474 --> 00:35:48,741 "Well, don't waste time, give me the sign" 635 00:35:48,809 --> 00:35:51,778 "tell me how you want to roll. 636 00:35:54,715 --> 00:35:57,417 "I want somebody to speed it up for me 637 00:35:57,485 --> 00:36:02,789 "then take it down slow. "There's enough room for both. 638 00:36:02,857 --> 00:36:04,124 "Well, I can handle that, 639 00:36:04,191 --> 00:36:06,559 "You just got to show me where it's at. 640 00:36:06,627 --> 00:36:11,764 "Are you ready to go? Are you ready to go...? 641 00:36:11,832 --> 00:36:16,736 "If you want it, "you already got it. 642 00:36:16,804 --> 00:36:19,339 "If you've thought it, it better be what you want. 643 00:36:19,406 --> 00:36:21,841 "Time is waiting. 644 00:36:21,909 --> 00:36:24,144 "We only got four minutes to save the world. 645 00:36:24,211 --> 00:36:25,812 "- No hesitating. "- Yeah. 646 00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:30,683 "Grab a boy and grab a girl. "Time is waiting. 647 00:36:30,751 --> 00:36:32,485 "We only got four minutes to save the world. 648 00:36:32,553 --> 00:36:35,021 "No hesitating. 649 00:36:35,089 --> 00:36:38,224 "We only got four minutes, four minutes. 650 00:36:38,292 --> 00:36:40,693 "Don't be afraid, hey, Madonna, unh. 651 00:36:40,761 --> 00:36:44,831 "You got to get 'em up, hop. "Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. 652 00:36:44,899 --> 00:36:46,399 "That's right, keep it up, keep it up. 653 00:36:46,467 --> 00:36:49,002 "Don't be afraid, hey, Madonna, unh. 654 00:36:49,069 --> 00:36:51,871 "You got to get 'em up, hop. 655 00:36:51,939 --> 00:36:53,339 "Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. 656 00:37:03,184 --> 00:37:05,084 Sue, what the hell is going on here? 657 00:37:05,152 --> 00:37:06,819 Oh, what's the matter, buddy? Did you miss the show? 658 00:37:06,887 --> 00:37:08,321 You probably had to run to the powder room. 659 00:37:08,389 --> 00:37:09,422 Let me fill you in. 660 00:37:09,490 --> 00:37:11,391 Future center square Kurt Hummel there 661 00:37:11,458 --> 00:37:14,561 and his brassy hag Mercedes just tore that Madonna song 662 00:37:14,628 --> 00:37:16,930 - a new one. - Wait, you two are Cheerios now? 663 00:37:16,997 --> 00:37:18,231 Yeah, I've decided to add vocals 664 00:37:18,299 --> 00:37:21,067 to my already wildly overproduced Cheerios numbers. 665 00:37:21,135 --> 00:37:23,102 It'll give us the edge at Nationals. 666 00:37:23,170 --> 00:37:24,971 You guys could've at least given me the heads-up. 667 00:37:25,039 --> 00:37:27,006 You mean, the same way you gave us a heads-up 668 00:37:27,074 --> 00:37:29,042 before not giving us a solo almost every week? 669 00:37:29,109 --> 00:37:30,743 Mr. Shue, Mercedes and I 670 00:37:30,811 --> 00:37:32,745 talked it over, and we love being in Glee, 671 00:37:32,813 --> 00:37:34,480 but being in the Cheerios will give us 672 00:37:34,548 --> 00:37:37,483 - more opportunities to shine. - So we're doing both. 673 00:37:37,551 --> 00:37:39,686 Ah, chipper up, Tiger. 674 00:37:39,753 --> 00:37:41,854 You know, I was down at the pharmacy today, 675 00:37:41,922 --> 00:37:44,691 and they're having a monster sale on Dep. 676 00:37:44,758 --> 00:37:46,359 Dep is a hair gel. 677 00:37:46,427 --> 00:37:50,063 And once again, I am making fun of your incredibly stupid hairdo. 678 00:37:57,055 --> 00:37:59,056 Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, 679 00:37:59,124 --> 00:38:03,694 wear shirts and boots, 'cause it's okay to be a boy. 680 00:38:03,762 --> 00:38:07,298 But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, 681 00:38:07,365 --> 00:38:10,467 'cause you think that being a girl is degrading. 682 00:38:10,535 --> 00:38:14,371 But secretly you'd love to know what it's like, wouldn't you? 683 00:38:14,439 --> 00:38:16,206 What it feels like for a girl. 684 00:38:24,983 --> 00:38:30,287 "Silky smooth "lips as sweet as candy, 685 00:38:32,824 --> 00:38:34,058 "baby. 686 00:38:34,125 --> 00:38:38,495 "Strong inside, but you don't know it. 687 00:38:38,563 --> 00:38:42,333 "Good little girls, they never show it. 688 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:46,904 "When you open up your mouth to speak 689 00:38:46,971 --> 00:38:51,608 "could you be a little weak? 690 00:38:51,676 --> 00:38:53,811 "Do you know "Do you know 691 00:38:53,878 --> 00:38:57,414 "what it feels like in this world 692 00:38:57,482 --> 00:38:59,416 "for a girl? "For a girl? 693 00:38:59,484 --> 00:39:00,951 "Oh. 694 00:39:01,019 --> 00:39:09,626 "For a girl... 695 00:39:09,694 --> 00:39:16,900 "In this world... 696 00:39:18,837 --> 00:39:20,804 "Do you know 697 00:39:20,872 --> 00:39:26,543 "what it feels like in this world? 698 00:39:27,712 --> 00:39:30,681 I am not down with this. I like being a dude. 699 00:39:30,749 --> 00:39:32,483 That's because it's easy to be a dude. 700 00:39:32,550 --> 00:39:34,585 Uh, Mr. Shue, I think we're gonna need a new baritone, 701 00:39:34,652 --> 00:39:35,953 'cause Finn would like to become Finnessa. 702 00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:37,888 Wait, h-hold on, Puck. Finn has a point. 703 00:39:37,956 --> 00:39:39,089 I mean, haven't you noticed 704 00:39:39,157 --> 00:39:40,557 how low morale has been around here lately? 705 00:39:40,625 --> 00:39:41,692 I have. 706 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,695 I think the way I was objectifying Tina may have sent her over the edge. 707 00:39:45,764 --> 00:39:48,499 - Hey, girl. - My eyes are up here! 708 00:39:48,566 --> 00:39:51,068 I am a person with feelings! Get out of my grill! 709 00:39:51,136 --> 00:39:52,669 I am a powerful woman, 710 00:39:52,737 --> 00:39:54,738 and my growing feminism will cut you in half 711 00:39:54,806 --> 00:39:55,973 like a righteous blade of equality! 712 00:39:58,309 --> 00:40:00,144 We've been treating the girls like crap... 713 00:40:00,211 --> 00:40:02,413 not caring about their feelings, not listening, objectifying. 714 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:03,881 That's the right word, right, Mr. Shue? 715 00:40:03,948 --> 00:40:04,948 - That's right. - Objectifying. 716 00:40:05,016 --> 00:40:08,051 As an honorary girl, I have to agree. 717 00:40:08,119 --> 00:40:09,720 This team shouldn't work, but it does 718 00:40:09,788 --> 00:40:11,388 because we respect each other's talent. 719 00:40:11,456 --> 00:40:12,823 And if we want to take it to 720 00:40:12,891 --> 00:40:14,224 the next level, we have to start 721 00:40:14,292 --> 00:40:15,793 respecting each other as individuals. 722 00:40:15,860 --> 00:40:17,561 Really see each other. 723 00:40:17,629 --> 00:40:20,964 Why were you singing with us, Mr. Shue? 724 00:40:21,032 --> 00:40:25,502 Because apparently... I need to learn that lesson. 725 00:40:25,570 --> 00:40:27,871 Fine, but I'm not singing this song. 726 00:40:27,939 --> 00:40:29,173 We don't have to. 727 00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:30,874 We just have to make it right with the girls, 728 00:40:30,942 --> 00:40:33,444 show them we get how it feels. 729 00:40:36,014 --> 00:40:38,081 I would get down on one knee if I could. 730 00:40:38,149 --> 00:40:39,383 Why would you propose to me? 731 00:40:39,451 --> 00:40:42,085 - You don't even like me. - Stop. 732 00:40:42,153 --> 00:40:45,889 That's where you're wrong. I was really rude to you. 733 00:40:45,957 --> 00:40:48,125 You're awesome. 734 00:40:48,193 --> 00:40:50,828 And you shouldn't change, unless you want to. 735 00:40:50,895 --> 00:40:56,233 And if you want to get up on this, just let me know. 736 00:41:00,138 --> 00:41:03,373 Yep. That's more like it. 737 00:41:06,478 --> 00:41:07,945 Hey. 738 00:41:08,012 --> 00:41:09,480 If you're gonna criticize and mock me again 739 00:41:09,547 --> 00:41:13,350 - about Jessie, you can can it. - I wanted to apologize. 740 00:41:13,418 --> 00:41:15,285 The only reason you were even 741 00:41:15,353 --> 00:41:17,888 open to dating Jessie was because I was such an ass. 742 00:41:17,956 --> 00:41:22,192 Mr. Tough Guy and all that. I really liked you. 743 00:41:22,260 --> 00:41:25,729 And I could have had you, but I blew it. 744 00:41:25,797 --> 00:41:31,435 - You really liked me? - Okay, Finn. I know we have 745 00:41:31,503 --> 00:41:34,705 a big showdown coming, so let's just decide on the arena. 746 00:41:34,772 --> 00:41:37,374 Sing-off, the parking lot, 5:00... be there. 747 00:41:37,442 --> 00:41:42,379 - No. - Welcome to New Directions. 748 00:41:43,848 --> 00:41:45,315 Frankly, I need you. I'm tired of 749 00:41:45,383 --> 00:41:46,617 carrying the male vocals all by myself. 750 00:41:49,020 --> 00:41:52,155 I'll do my best to stay away from your girl. 751 00:41:52,223 --> 00:41:55,893 I appreciate that. She's a keeper. 752 00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:57,461 Walk with me to the auditorium. 753 00:41:57,529 --> 00:41:58,862 I put together a new Madonna number; 754 00:41:58,930 --> 00:42:02,266 - I'll talk you through it on the way. - Sweet. 755 00:42:13,511 --> 00:42:18,087 Like A Payer# Madonna 756 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:20,890 Sync and CORRECT By YesCool addic7ed.com / iSubs.coil.us.to 757 00:44:20,891 --> 00:44:22,891 "Glee".