1 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,110 I don't want to be late for lunch. 2 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,879 "amar" is "to love," right? 3 00:00:13,946 --> 00:00:15,613 Oh! Speaking of love, 4 00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:18,082 Shirley, how's it going with the sexy dreadlock guy? 5 00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:20,284 Oh, I'm sure I don't have a chance with him. 6 00:00:20,352 --> 00:00:22,337 Abed and I talked to him by the vending machines. 7 00:00:22,405 --> 00:00:23,740 He asked about you. 8 00:00:23,808 --> 00:00:25,029 He specifically asked about me? 9 00:00:25,097 --> 00:00:26,694 - Mm-hmm. - Sure. 10 00:00:26,762 --> 00:00:28,028 When Annie brought you up, he specifically asked, 11 00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:30,194 "who is that?" Abed. 12 00:00:30,262 --> 00:00:32,295 - Oh. - What? That's what he said. 13 00:00:32,362 --> 00:00:34,694 Abed, your social skills aren't exactly streets ahead. 14 00:00:34,762 --> 00:00:36,328 You know what I mean? 15 00:00:36,395 --> 00:00:37,898 - I don't. - You're not alone in this case. 16 00:00:37,966 --> 00:00:39,602 Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase, 17 00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:40,944 "streets ahead." 18 00:00:41,012 --> 00:00:43,145 Trying? 19 00:00:43,213 --> 00:00:45,315 Coined and minted. 20 00:00:45,382 --> 00:00:46,954 Been there, coined that. 21 00:00:47,022 --> 00:00:49,959 "streets ahead" is verbal wildfire. 22 00:00:50,027 --> 00:00:51,662 Does it just mean "cool," or is it 23 00:00:51,730 --> 00:00:54,233 Supposed to be, like, "miles ahead"? 24 00:00:54,301 --> 00:00:56,604 If you have to ask, you're street's fine. 25 00:00:56,672 --> 00:00:58,476 Okay, we can banter if we want to banter, 26 00:00:58,543 --> 00:01:00,645 But I'm warning you I am leaving for lunch early. 27 00:01:00,713 --> 00:01:01,646 - Me too. - Me three. 28 00:01:01,714 --> 00:01:02,848 Streets ahead. 29 00:01:02,917 --> 00:01:04,285 Man, you guys really love 30 00:01:04,352 --> 00:01:05,619 These stupid chicken fingers, huh? 31 00:01:05,687 --> 00:01:07,321 Uh, they're not stupid. 32 00:01:07,389 --> 00:01:08,956 They're the only good thing in the cafeteria. 33 00:01:09,024 --> 00:01:11,258 I haven't had one in weeks. They run out so fast. 34 00:01:11,326 --> 00:01:13,295 If God were edible-- not that I'm catholic, 35 00:01:13,363 --> 00:01:14,430 But if it was cool to eat God, 36 00:01:14,498 --> 00:01:15,631 He'd be a chicken finger. 37 00:01:15,699 --> 00:01:16,833 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 38 00:01:16,901 --> 00:01:17,968 Well, I wouldn't know. 39 00:01:18,035 --> 00:01:19,336 I'm a vegetarian. 40 00:01:19,404 --> 00:01:20,838 - Shocker. - Yeah. 41 00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:22,340 And if you guys knew how they treated 42 00:01:22,407 --> 00:01:23,775 The animals that you are eating, 43 00:01:23,842 --> 00:01:25,811 You would eat them even faster 44 00:01:25,879 --> 00:01:27,013 Just to put them out of their misery 45 00:01:27,081 --> 00:01:28,481 And then you would throw up. 46 00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:30,717 I don't know. 47 00:01:30,785 --> 00:01:33,153 Maybe I'm feeling extra protective 48 00:01:33,221 --> 00:01:34,587 Of animals today because my cat is sick. 49 00:01:34,655 --> 00:01:36,423 - Oh, a cat? - That's awful. 50 00:01:36,491 --> 00:01:37,857 He has diabetes. 51 00:01:37,925 --> 00:01:39,959 He can't even make it to the litter box-- 52 00:01:40,026 --> 00:01:42,193 - Chicken run! - Whoo! 53 00:01:42,261 --> 00:01:44,329 Ow! 54 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:47,598 I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to put her to sleep. 55 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,333 Ah, go on. 56 00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:51,334 God bless you. 57 00:01:51,401 --> 00:01:52,768 Save some for me! 58 00:01:52,836 --> 00:01:54,136 Watch out! 59 00:01:54,203 --> 00:02:02,064 Sync By YesCool - Resync for 720p by Baqinardo ~ iSubs.coil.us.to & Addic7ed.com 60 00:02:02,099 --> 00:02:05,315 Oh, I can hear those fingers calling my name. 61 00:02:05,382 --> 00:02:07,117 "Troy! Troy!" 62 00:02:07,184 --> 00:02:08,852 Troy, did you get my text message? 63 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:09,954 "did you get my text message?" 64 00:02:10,021 --> 00:02:14,892 Um, I think it's-- 65 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,260 I got to stop hanging out with her. 66 00:02:16,328 --> 00:02:18,730 She sounds like a chicken finger. 67 00:02:18,797 --> 00:02:20,197 Again? 68 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,699 Outrageous. 69 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,400 At least apologize. 70 00:02:23,468 --> 00:02:26,669 How can you just stand there like a mute idiot? 71 00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:32,007 - Ooh. - Well... 72 00:02:32,075 --> 00:02:33,442 Throat surgery might humanize you, 73 00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:34,743 But it doesn't make this acceptable. 74 00:02:34,811 --> 00:02:35,944 So cute. 75 00:02:36,012 --> 00:02:38,613 And I don't even normally like dreadlocks. 76 00:02:38,681 --> 00:02:42,918 Hello. 77 00:02:42,986 --> 00:02:44,820 His dreadlocks remind me of the predator, 78 00:02:44,888 --> 00:02:47,658 Which is weird, because you're doing the actual hunting 79 00:02:47,726 --> 00:02:51,262 And you seem invisible to him. 80 00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:53,064 - Abed, you know what I do? - Hmm? 81 00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,900 Before I talk, I ask myself, 82 00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,034 "what am I about to say 83 00:02:56,102 --> 00:02:58,604 And how might it affect each person listening?" 84 00:02:58,672 --> 00:03:00,372 I'm really glad you said that, britta. 85 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,408 The idea that you compulsively filter yourself 86 00:03:02,476 --> 00:03:05,212 Makes your lack of flavor kind of a flavor. 87 00:03:05,279 --> 00:03:08,348 Sorry, guys. They ran out again. 88 00:03:08,416 --> 00:03:10,151 Something's gotta be done. 89 00:03:13,755 --> 00:03:15,423 Hey! 90 00:03:15,491 --> 00:03:18,894 What the hell, man? 91 00:03:18,961 --> 00:03:20,929 That's half our problem right there. 92 00:03:20,997 --> 00:03:23,532 Star-burns works the fryer and skims fingers. 93 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,734 No way. 94 00:03:24,801 --> 00:03:25,935 He gives them to people just so 95 00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:27,804 They'll act like he isn't star-burns 96 00:03:27,872 --> 00:03:29,139 Well, I may not eat meat, 97 00:03:29,206 --> 00:03:31,642 But I am not gonna eat that injustice. 98 00:03:31,709 --> 00:03:32,910 Let's complain. 99 00:03:32,978 --> 00:03:34,645 If we complain, he gets a warning 100 00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:35,779 And learns to be sneakier. 101 00:03:35,847 --> 00:03:37,248 I say we knock him out of the kitchen 102 00:03:37,315 --> 00:03:38,983 And replace him with one of our own 103 00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:40,551 All in one move. 104 00:03:40,619 --> 00:03:42,086 Then we're the ones with the chicken. 105 00:03:42,154 --> 00:03:43,521 It's like a mafia movie. 106 00:03:43,589 --> 00:03:44,922 As far back as I can remember, 107 00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:46,524 I always wanted to be in a mafia movie. 108 00:03:46,591 --> 00:03:47,758 Cool. 109 00:03:47,826 --> 00:03:49,393 That's exactly what it's like, Abed, 110 00:03:49,461 --> 00:03:50,928 And you get the most important job. 111 00:03:50,996 --> 00:03:52,162 You're gonna be fry cook. 112 00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:53,764 We may be watching different mafia movies. 113 00:03:53,832 --> 00:03:55,398 You worked in your dad's restaurant, right? 114 00:03:55,466 --> 00:03:56,632 Well, you'll apply for the job 115 00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:57,800 After we get star-burns fired. 116 00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:58,968 I don't know about that. 117 00:03:59,036 --> 00:04:00,336 I don't know about the firing. 118 00:04:00,404 --> 00:04:02,306 I think he really relies on that income. 119 00:04:02,373 --> 00:04:03,407 Yeah, man. 120 00:04:03,475 --> 00:04:05,409 Every day you flock here like sheep 121 00:04:05,477 --> 00:04:08,079 And wait in line for a broken promise from a dirty system. 122 00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:09,547 Back in those days, Jeff winger 123 00:04:09,615 --> 00:04:10,915 Was the guy that made things happen. 124 00:04:10,983 --> 00:04:12,384 He always knew what to say 125 00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,353 And he always knew when to slap the table. 126 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,421 You want to be sheep, keep flocking. 127 00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:18,757 You want to be wolves, form a pack. 128 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,160 And that was it. It was that simple. 129 00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:23,595 At that moment, we stopped being a family 130 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:26,432 And started being a family... In italics. 131 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:28,767 Britta got cozy with star-burns. 132 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,536 - Can I touch both at--oh! - Yeah, do 'em both. 133 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,637 He lowered his guard and just like that, 134 00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:36,975 He was gone. 135 00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:39,544 I mean, the way Jeff saw it, by not respecting us, 136 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,746 Star-burns had basically brought it on himself. 137 00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,949 And when his job opened up, we did what we had to do 138 00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:46,985 To keep the list of applicants to a minimum. 139 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:48,720 I had worked in my dad's falafel restaurant, 140 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,355 So I had a pretty impressive resume. 141 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,456 It's very impressive. 142 00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,558 Especially your reference. 143 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:54,826 Just give 'em a call right now. 144 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:56,194 But we weren't taking any chances. 145 00:04:56,261 --> 00:04:58,162 The fix was in. 146 00:04:58,230 --> 00:05:01,332 Trump tower, this is Donald. 147 00:05:01,399 --> 00:05:02,900 Well, he can deep-fry the hell out of chicken. 148 00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:04,234 I can tell you that. 149 00:05:04,302 --> 00:05:05,702 Troy even applied for the same job 150 00:05:05,770 --> 00:05:06,903 And gave the world's worst interview 151 00:05:06,971 --> 00:05:08,938 Just to make me look better 152 00:05:09,006 --> 00:05:10,373 And that was that. 153 00:05:10,441 --> 00:05:12,542 This was the glorious time. 154 00:05:12,609 --> 00:05:14,143 No more racing to the cafeteria. 155 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:15,444 No more lines. 156 00:05:15,512 --> 00:05:16,845 To us, lines were for suckers, 157 00:05:16,913 --> 00:05:18,613 Hacks, sheep. 158 00:05:18,681 --> 00:05:20,848 We were wolves. 159 00:05:20,916 --> 00:05:24,552 And we had the chicken to prove it. 160 00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:26,053 - Oh. - Ooh. 161 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,454 To victory. 162 00:05:27,522 --> 00:05:29,022 It feels unfamiliar, 163 00:05:29,090 --> 00:05:30,523 But it tastes like chicken. 164 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:34,060 Mm-hmm. 165 00:05:34,127 --> 00:05:35,461 Hi. 166 00:05:35,529 --> 00:05:37,430 - Hello. - You guys are lucky. 167 00:05:37,498 --> 00:05:38,464 They're always running out. 168 00:05:38,532 --> 00:05:40,099 Would you like one? 169 00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:43,069 Name's Shirley. Memorize it. 170 00:05:43,137 --> 00:05:44,570 I will, Shirley. 171 00:05:44,638 --> 00:05:45,571 Eee! 172 00:05:45,639 --> 00:05:46,706 See that, girls? 173 00:05:46,774 --> 00:05:48,908 The universe goes by supply and demand. 174 00:05:48,975 --> 00:05:51,877 The more you take and use, the more it sends. 175 00:05:51,945 --> 00:05:53,245 Somebody's been taking a little extra. 176 00:05:53,313 --> 00:05:54,380 What's in that container? 177 00:05:54,448 --> 00:05:55,448 - Eight fingers. - Abed. 178 00:05:55,515 --> 00:05:58,617 Abed's study group. 179 00:05:58,685 --> 00:06:00,185 Why are you giving Chang chicken? 180 00:06:00,253 --> 00:06:01,319 We have an agreement. 181 00:06:01,387 --> 00:06:02,620 But, Abed, if you get caught skimming, 182 00:06:02,688 --> 00:06:04,889 You get fired and we all go back to eating like britta. 183 00:06:04,957 --> 00:06:07,224 Yeah, we put you in that job. 184 00:06:07,292 --> 00:06:09,993 I dressed like a crazy pharaoh for you, man. 185 00:06:10,061 --> 00:06:12,128 You make the fingers, Abed, not the decisions. 186 00:06:12,196 --> 00:06:13,129 I'm sorry. 187 00:06:13,196 --> 00:06:14,530 It's okay, buddy. 188 00:06:14,598 --> 00:06:16,732 But just remember these things have power. 189 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:17,967 So just let me know next time 190 00:06:18,034 --> 00:06:20,436 You have any more agreements, all right? 191 00:06:20,504 --> 00:06:22,572 Yeah, I agreed to give Cheng eight fingers per lunch 192 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,574 In exchange for a 10% bump on every Spanish test 193 00:06:24,642 --> 00:06:25,842 For each of us. 194 00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:28,345 - Oh! - Okay. 195 00:06:28,413 --> 00:06:29,947 Abed makes the fingers and the decisions. 196 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,482 - Yeah. - Yeah. 197 00:06:35,054 --> 00:06:36,855 Oh, Abed, you're like the best. 198 00:06:40,527 --> 00:06:41,527 At greendale, they were always out of chicken fingers, 199 00:06:41,595 --> 00:06:43,495 So whoever could get them had power. 200 00:06:43,563 --> 00:06:45,030 Oh. 201 00:06:45,098 --> 00:06:46,164 And I was the guy in the apron, 202 00:06:46,232 --> 00:06:47,666 So I came up with a system and pretty soon 203 00:06:47,734 --> 00:06:48,834 Half the chicken at greendale 204 00:06:48,902 --> 00:06:51,570 Was going out the side door. 205 00:06:51,637 --> 00:06:53,371 Everybody in our crew had a job. 206 00:06:53,438 --> 00:06:55,005 T-bone was the bag man. 207 00:06:55,073 --> 00:06:56,607 He'd move the fingers to a storeroom 208 00:06:56,675 --> 00:06:58,408 Where two of the girls did the packaging. 209 00:06:58,476 --> 00:07:00,544 We could trust them not to eat the supply 210 00:07:00,612 --> 00:07:01,879 Because britta was a vegetarian 211 00:07:01,946 --> 00:07:03,580 And Shirley figured that if she stole, 212 00:07:03,648 --> 00:07:05,482 She'd go to hell. 213 00:07:05,549 --> 00:07:07,383 They'd hand the stuff out the window to Annie. 214 00:07:07,451 --> 00:07:09,751 She was the leg man and distributor. 215 00:07:09,819 --> 00:07:13,688 The crazy thing was it was their food 216 00:07:13,755 --> 00:07:15,823 And we were stealing it and giving it back to them 217 00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:18,157 Like it was a big favor. 218 00:07:18,225 --> 00:07:20,893 Nobody asked any questions because Pierce's experience 219 00:07:20,961 --> 00:07:22,460 As a ceo had taught him how 220 00:07:22,528 --> 00:07:24,196 To keep the wheels from squeaking. 221 00:07:24,263 --> 00:07:25,764 I had it all worked out on a schedule. 222 00:07:25,832 --> 00:07:27,865 You know, I've never been fired from a job 223 00:07:27,933 --> 00:07:29,867 And this is, like, my perfect job. 224 00:07:29,934 --> 00:07:31,434 I'm Mr. Chicken fingers. 225 00:07:31,502 --> 00:07:33,303 The minute before you thought about busting us, 226 00:07:33,371 --> 00:07:36,072 That was the minute you had a chicken in your hand. 227 00:07:36,140 --> 00:07:37,840 Everyone had their hand out. 228 00:07:37,908 --> 00:07:40,476 Everyone wanted what we had. Oh! Oh, well. 229 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,578 So we had anything we wanted. 230 00:07:42,645 --> 00:07:44,345 And Jeff had the most important job of all. 231 00:07:44,413 --> 00:07:45,546 He was at the top. 232 00:07:45,614 --> 00:07:46,981 He was the boss. 233 00:07:47,048 --> 00:07:48,582 He was our leader. 234 00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:50,484 What the hell is going on? 235 00:07:50,551 --> 00:07:52,319 A-v kids hooked it up. 236 00:07:52,386 --> 00:07:53,687 Abed supplied the whole department 237 00:07:53,754 --> 00:07:54,753 With chicken fingers. 238 00:07:54,821 --> 00:07:55,920 You think that's good, 239 00:07:55,988 --> 00:07:57,821 Check out my posse and Troy's monkey. 240 00:07:57,889 --> 00:08:00,456 Troy, why do you have a monkey? 241 00:08:00,524 --> 00:08:02,358 Uh, it's an animal that looks like a dude. 242 00:08:02,426 --> 00:08:03,926 Why don't I have ten of them? 243 00:08:03,994 --> 00:08:07,596 Guys, look what Abed scored for me. 244 00:08:07,664 --> 00:08:08,731 Ooh. 245 00:08:08,798 --> 00:08:10,064 It has a million zippers 246 00:08:10,132 --> 00:08:11,365 And it was free. 247 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,837 - Oh. - Ooh, robot. 248 00:08:16,904 --> 00:08:18,371 I am a robot. 249 00:08:18,439 --> 00:08:20,907 I am programmed to love this backpack. 250 00:08:20,974 --> 00:08:21,974 This is insane. 251 00:08:22,041 --> 00:08:23,542 More insane than programming them 252 00:08:23,609 --> 00:08:25,277 To replace auto workers? 253 00:08:25,345 --> 00:08:27,011 What? 254 00:08:27,079 --> 00:08:30,848 Okay, okay, if you're not in this study group, please. 255 00:08:30,915 --> 00:08:32,115 No, no. 256 00:08:32,182 --> 00:08:33,750 That means you, sexy dreadlocks, 257 00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,284 Britta's hairdresser... What? 258 00:08:35,352 --> 00:08:37,152 Pierce's hackneyed entourage. 259 00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:38,753 Hackneyed? 260 00:08:38,821 --> 00:08:39,854 You see the turban guy? 261 00:08:39,922 --> 00:08:41,556 Yes, in a '90s ski movie 262 00:08:41,624 --> 00:08:43,725 That featured an entourage. 263 00:08:43,792 --> 00:08:45,426 Don't you guys think this is getting out of hand? 264 00:08:45,494 --> 00:08:46,627 Oh, we're not gonna get caught. 265 00:08:46,695 --> 00:08:48,195 We have campus security on the take. 266 00:08:48,263 --> 00:08:49,630 Abed's got it all figured out. 267 00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,765 - Mm-hmm. - Well, that's a relief. 268 00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:53,300 Yeah, it's pretty cool being friends 269 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:55,068 With the biggest man on campus. 270 00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:56,370 Isn't that right, Annie's boobs? 271 00:08:57,505 --> 00:08:59,106 Please rename that thing! 272 00:08:59,174 --> 00:09:01,141 And this time, not with a contest on Twitter. 273 00:09:01,209 --> 00:09:02,309 It's his Twitter account. 274 00:09:02,377 --> 00:09:03,577 He can do what he wants. 275 00:09:03,645 --> 00:09:04,979 They are my body parts! 276 00:09:05,047 --> 00:09:06,080 I do not consent to this! 277 00:09:06,148 --> 00:09:07,815 You know what I don't appreciate? 278 00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:12,153 You wouldn't threaten a monkey. 279 00:09:12,221 --> 00:09:15,124 They have more lactic acid than us. 280 00:09:15,191 --> 00:09:16,858 Shared my chicken with him. 281 00:09:16,926 --> 00:09:17,992 - Talk to the backpack. - I told you! 282 00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:19,294 You're the worst, Annie. 283 00:09:19,362 --> 00:09:20,762 Streets ahead! 284 00:09:28,903 --> 00:09:30,571 Line starts behind you. 285 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:32,339 Oh, he's cool. 286 00:09:32,407 --> 00:09:34,607 Six fingers every Wednesday. 287 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,108 Cool. And what can you offer? 288 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:39,379 I have a bicycle and I teach beginner's tennis. 289 00:09:39,447 --> 00:09:40,814 Cool. Okay. 290 00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:43,016 Six fingers wednesdays. 291 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,917 All right. 292 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,285 We'll be in touch, janel. 293 00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:49,389 - Thank you, Abed. - You're welcome. 294 00:09:49,457 --> 00:09:51,358 Hey, Jeff. Hey, buddy. 295 00:09:51,426 --> 00:09:52,860 It's quite a setup you got here. 296 00:09:52,927 --> 00:09:55,495 I'm pretty excited about it. 297 00:09:55,563 --> 00:09:56,930 It turns out everyone has needs 298 00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:58,898 And everyone has functions. 299 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,933 Look, um, I've been thinking 300 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,802 Maybe I need to hit the big red button 301 00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:05,471 And bring an end to this operation. 302 00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:08,674 I mean, it's been fun, but it's out of control now. 303 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,375 Am I right? I don't know. 304 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,310 The entire campus is controlled by our group, 305 00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:13,778 Our group is controlled by chicken, 306 00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:16,247 And the chicken is controlled by me. 307 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:17,282 Float? 308 00:10:17,349 --> 00:10:18,617 I'm good. 309 00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:21,087 Abed, the mafia movie is over. 310 00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:22,722 I'm not doing a mafia movie. 311 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,324 In fact, I don't need to use movies 312 00:10:24,392 --> 00:10:26,226 Or tv shows to talk to people anymore. 313 00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:28,128 Before, I only needed them because the day-to-day world 314 00:10:28,196 --> 00:10:29,730 Made no sense to me, but now, 315 00:10:29,798 --> 00:10:31,231 Everyone's speaking the same language. 316 00:10:31,299 --> 00:10:32,500 Chicken. 317 00:10:32,567 --> 00:10:34,469 I understand people and they finally understand me. 318 00:10:34,536 --> 00:10:37,038 Abed, eventually people are gonna get tired of chicken. 319 00:10:37,105 --> 00:10:38,105 I'm tired of chicken. 320 00:10:38,173 --> 00:10:39,173 You're not tired of chicken. 321 00:10:39,241 --> 00:10:40,474 You miss the taste of control. 322 00:10:42,276 --> 00:10:43,743 Well, that's crazy. 323 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,646 Is it? 324 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,550 Unfortunately, the very thing that drove you 325 00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:52,985 To this dorm room is what would prevent you 326 00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:54,453 From properly running this machine 327 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:55,654 Or even being a cog in it. 328 00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:56,955 Your ego. 329 00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:59,791 Well... 330 00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:01,560 I see. I see. 331 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:05,198 This has been about me the whole time. 332 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:08,601 You want a shot at the Jeff winger throne? 333 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,339 You better bring a powerful ass. 334 00:11:11,407 --> 00:11:13,941 Oh, and for your information, I don't have an ego. 335 00:11:14,009 --> 00:11:16,811 My facebook photo is a landscape. 336 00:11:21,918 --> 00:11:24,820 You're the best, Eduardo. 337 00:11:24,888 --> 00:11:26,288 Thank you all for coming. 338 00:11:26,356 --> 00:11:27,623 Can we make this quick? 339 00:11:27,691 --> 00:11:29,558 I need to give a banana to Annie's boobs. 340 00:11:29,626 --> 00:11:31,327 Abed is drunk with chicken power. 341 00:11:31,395 --> 00:11:34,330 He's gone from lovable Johnny five to evil hal. 342 00:11:34,398 --> 00:11:35,998 - Hal holb-- - not hal holbrook. 343 00:11:36,066 --> 00:11:37,033 What are you saying? 344 00:11:37,101 --> 00:11:39,469 You all have to stop working for him. 345 00:11:39,537 --> 00:11:41,204 Let this operation dry up 346 00:11:41,272 --> 00:11:43,173 And let his wheels spin down. 347 00:11:43,241 --> 00:11:46,077 At which point you would be in charge again, right? 348 00:11:46,145 --> 00:11:47,979 - What? - This is so sad. 349 00:11:48,047 --> 00:11:50,516 You're jealous of Abed because he's providing for us. 350 00:11:50,583 --> 00:11:51,650 Mm-hmm. 351 00:11:51,718 --> 00:11:53,052 No, I'm concerned about Abed 352 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,454 Because he won't listen to reason. 353 00:11:54,522 --> 00:11:55,990 Won't listen to your reason. 354 00:11:56,058 --> 00:11:57,091 Mm-hmm. 355 00:11:57,159 --> 00:11:58,893 Why should he? Jeff's so not... 356 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,828 Say "streets ahead" and die. 357 00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:03,430 Streets ahead. 358 00:12:04,666 --> 00:12:05,699 You want to boss me around? 359 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:06,700 Get me an entourage. 360 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:07,900 Get Troy a monkey. 361 00:12:07,968 --> 00:12:09,235 That's what a real boss does. 362 00:12:09,303 --> 00:12:10,503 Yes. 363 00:12:10,571 --> 00:12:11,571 We probably shouldn't even be talking to him 364 00:12:11,638 --> 00:12:12,571 Without checking with Abed. 365 00:12:12,639 --> 00:12:13,939 I'm already trying him. 366 00:12:14,007 --> 00:12:15,674 He's not picking up. What did you do with him? 367 00:12:15,742 --> 00:12:17,442 I don't believe what greedy sellouts 368 00:12:17,510 --> 00:12:19,344 You people turned out to be. 369 00:12:19,411 --> 00:12:20,712 I'm not gonna stand here and be ignored. 370 00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:22,046 Shh! Voicemail. 371 00:12:22,114 --> 00:12:23,214 Hey, Abed. 372 00:12:23,282 --> 00:12:24,882 Jeff says you're not listening to him. 373 00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:26,684 Does that mean we shouldn't listen to him either? 374 00:12:26,752 --> 00:12:29,119 Oh, also, should we make special jackets 375 00:12:29,187 --> 00:12:30,721 For our crime family? 376 00:12:30,789 --> 00:12:33,057 Like, blazers with chicken finger patches. 377 00:12:33,124 --> 00:12:34,892 I don't know. Long message. I'm sorry. 378 00:12:34,959 --> 00:12:36,226 That's it! 379 00:12:36,294 --> 00:12:37,594 - Ooh! - Abed! 380 00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:40,963 Look, I'm walking out this door right now. 381 00:12:41,031 --> 00:12:42,565 - Okay. - Okay. 382 00:12:42,632 --> 00:12:44,099 - For real. - Good. 383 00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:46,234 - I'm not gonna look back. - Mm-hmm. 384 00:12:46,302 --> 00:12:48,136 - Good-bye. - Good-bye! 385 00:12:48,204 --> 00:12:49,304 Abed! 386 00:12:49,372 --> 00:12:50,739 - Hi! - Yes! 387 00:12:50,807 --> 00:12:51,907 Anybody need anything? 388 00:12:51,975 --> 00:12:53,742 Oh, everything. You look handsome. 389 00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:56,478 I like everything about you now, Abed. 390 00:12:56,546 --> 00:12:58,980 I want a new hairdresser though. 391 00:13:20,048 --> 00:13:22,617 Yeah, I got you fired. 392 00:13:22,684 --> 00:13:24,118 You deserved it. 393 00:13:24,186 --> 00:13:26,954 Maybe. Maybe not. 394 00:13:27,022 --> 00:13:31,225 The question is: What do they deserve? 395 00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:38,166 Key to the kitchen. 396 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,836 There's a valve on the back of the chicken fryer 397 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,804 That's not made anymore. 398 00:13:42,872 --> 00:13:46,241 Now, say someone were to remove it. 399 00:13:46,309 --> 00:13:49,712 The fryer wouldn't work... 400 00:13:49,779 --> 00:13:51,513 Forever. 401 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,916 How petty do you think I am? 402 00:13:58,654 --> 00:14:01,622 Jeff leaving the family didn't turn out to be a problem. 403 00:14:01,690 --> 00:14:04,159 Okay, I think we're set for the quiz. 404 00:14:04,226 --> 00:14:05,593 - Yep. - See you guys in class. 405 00:14:05,661 --> 00:14:06,895 Oh, wait. Before you go. 406 00:14:06,963 --> 00:14:08,831 - Oh, free notebooks. - Here. 407 00:14:08,898 --> 00:14:12,368 But the family's success started to go to their heads. 408 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:14,003 They didn't have college ruled? 409 00:14:14,071 --> 00:14:15,171 No, sorry. 410 00:14:15,239 --> 00:14:17,240 It's okay. 411 00:14:21,712 --> 00:14:23,613 - Abed? - Yeah? 412 00:14:23,681 --> 00:14:24,814 Can I talk to you for a minute? 413 00:14:24,882 --> 00:14:25,816 Sure. 414 00:14:25,883 --> 00:14:27,584 We have a situation. 415 00:14:27,652 --> 00:14:29,319 - Hey. - Who is this? 416 00:14:29,387 --> 00:14:30,754 It's Travis. 417 00:14:30,822 --> 00:14:32,622 You said you wanted someone in your entourage named Travis. 418 00:14:32,690 --> 00:14:35,792 Show him your license. 419 00:14:35,859 --> 00:14:37,527 Travis is his middle name. 420 00:14:37,595 --> 00:14:38,795 I go by Travis. 421 00:14:38,863 --> 00:14:40,096 No, you go by the door. 422 00:14:40,164 --> 00:14:42,966 See you, Travis. 423 00:14:43,033 --> 00:14:46,570 Get it right next time. 424 00:14:46,638 --> 00:14:47,838 - Abed? - Yep? 425 00:14:47,906 --> 00:14:49,907 No, no, no, no. 426 00:14:49,975 --> 00:14:55,746 My monkey hates this caviar. 427 00:14:55,814 --> 00:14:57,014 Troy, isn't that-- 428 00:14:57,081 --> 00:15:00,184 They were spoiled, fat, lazy. 429 00:15:00,252 --> 00:15:01,852 I'd given them everything and somehow 430 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,821 I'd lost their respect. 431 00:15:03,889 --> 00:15:05,690 So I did the only thing I could think of. 432 00:15:05,757 --> 00:15:07,491 I did what I thought Jeff would do. 433 00:15:07,559 --> 00:15:10,061 I sent them a message. 434 00:15:20,672 --> 00:15:21,972 What is that? 435 00:15:22,039 --> 00:15:24,241 I think it might be a backpack 436 00:15:24,308 --> 00:15:26,943 That's been mutilated. 437 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,349 These were the bad times. 438 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,621 - There he is. - Jeff. 439 00:16:12,688 --> 00:16:13,922 - Jeff! - Jeff! 440 00:16:13,989 --> 00:16:15,056 - Jeff! - Jeff! 441 00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:16,557 Abed killed my backpack. 442 00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:17,958 And I caught him stuffing my man 443 00:16:18,026 --> 00:16:19,893 Full of chicken and Tyler Perry has a whole series of movies 444 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,127 About why that's wrong. 445 00:16:21,195 --> 00:16:22,996 That little arab is off his rocker. 446 00:16:23,064 --> 00:16:24,465 He released Annie's boobs. 447 00:16:24,532 --> 00:16:25,866 Annie's boobs could be anywhere. 448 00:16:25,934 --> 00:16:27,101 Annie's boobs could be on the side of the road. 449 00:16:27,169 --> 00:16:28,369 We got it. 450 00:16:28,437 --> 00:16:29,437 The monkey's name is "annie's boobs." 451 00:16:29,505 --> 00:16:31,606 Look what Abed did to my hair. 452 00:16:31,674 --> 00:16:34,109 I feel terrible for all of you. 453 00:16:34,177 --> 00:16:36,245 Wait, no, I don't, because I warned you 454 00:16:36,313 --> 00:16:38,080 About all this, but you were so high 455 00:16:38,148 --> 00:16:39,782 On your backpacks and hairstyles 456 00:16:39,849 --> 00:16:41,850 You accused me of being jealous. 457 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,652 You were right. But what can we do? 458 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,455 I'm sorry, you brushed over that first part. 459 00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:49,091 Together. 460 00:16:49,159 --> 00:16:51,193 You were right. 461 00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:52,494 Now what you can do is go home 462 00:16:52,562 --> 00:16:54,629 And write that on your bathroom mirror. 463 00:16:54,697 --> 00:16:56,464 Wouldn't that make it seem like I was right? 464 00:16:56,532 --> 00:16:58,500 Yeah, because it would be my mirror. 465 00:16:58,568 --> 00:17:00,502 It's not gonna be reversed because you're the one who-- 466 00:17:05,875 --> 00:17:08,777 As for Abed, for his sake 467 00:17:08,845 --> 00:17:11,280 I guess I'll have to take him out. 468 00:17:11,348 --> 00:17:12,482 Poor little guy. 469 00:17:12,550 --> 00:17:14,718 Oh, good. That's nice. 470 00:17:32,871 --> 00:17:35,372 Abed. 471 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,707 What are you doing? 472 00:17:36,774 --> 00:17:39,075 Making tater tots. 473 00:17:39,143 --> 00:17:41,344 You were right, people got sick of chicken. 474 00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:42,379 But I was close. 475 00:17:42,447 --> 00:17:44,048 I just need a new food, a new system. 476 00:17:44,115 --> 00:17:45,849 I'm gonna experiment with jalapeno poppers next 477 00:17:45,917 --> 00:17:47,685 And then zucchini zircles. I don't get it. 478 00:17:47,752 --> 00:17:49,087 It's not that complicated, Jeff. 479 00:17:49,154 --> 00:17:50,522 They replaced the "c" in circle with a "z" for zucchini. 480 00:17:50,589 --> 00:17:52,724 No, no, I mean, why are you here? 481 00:17:52,792 --> 00:17:55,127 You said you were close? 482 00:17:57,597 --> 00:17:59,699 What were you close to? 483 00:18:01,468 --> 00:18:04,437 To the group? 484 00:18:04,504 --> 00:18:05,772 To people? 485 00:18:05,839 --> 00:18:07,439 Please don't do a special episode about me. 486 00:18:07,507 --> 00:18:08,874 Oh, I wouldn't dream of it. 487 00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:13,277 Everyone else needs my help. 488 00:18:13,345 --> 00:18:14,779 That's what people don't get, 489 00:18:14,846 --> 00:18:18,549 Is that they need to get me. 490 00:18:18,617 --> 00:18:20,584 I just need to be able to connect to people like you can, 491 00:18:20,651 --> 00:18:22,119 And then I can make everyone happy 492 00:18:22,186 --> 00:18:25,189 Like you do. 493 00:18:27,326 --> 00:18:28,888 Do you know why I'm here? 494 00:18:28,956 --> 00:18:30,688 You got caught with a fake bachelor's degree. 495 00:18:30,755 --> 00:18:32,022 By the way, they started using that 496 00:18:32,090 --> 00:18:33,356 As a seasonal arc on law & order. 497 00:18:33,424 --> 00:18:35,191 Total rip off. 498 00:18:35,259 --> 00:18:38,227 I'm here to dismantle the fryer, 499 00:18:38,295 --> 00:18:42,365 To cut your power off at its source. 500 00:18:42,432 --> 00:18:43,867 Don't you see what happened? 501 00:18:43,934 --> 00:18:45,201 I manipulated the group 502 00:18:45,269 --> 00:18:46,635 Into getting you the fry cook job 503 00:18:46,703 --> 00:18:49,071 So I could have some chicken. 504 00:18:49,139 --> 00:18:52,241 And you turned it all into a way to make everyone like you. 505 00:18:52,309 --> 00:18:53,443 Mm-hmm. 506 00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:55,812 Made me ashamed of myself. 507 00:18:55,879 --> 00:18:57,280 Made me jealous. 508 00:18:57,348 --> 00:18:58,948 Maybe this is a special episode. 509 00:18:59,016 --> 00:19:00,549 It's pretty alarming behavior, Jeff. 510 00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:01,883 Yeah. 511 00:19:01,951 --> 00:19:03,318 You know, there's specialists you could talk to. 512 00:19:03,386 --> 00:19:04,786 Yeah, maybe I should do that. 513 00:19:04,854 --> 00:19:05,921 Mm-hmm. 514 00:19:05,988 --> 00:19:07,289 - In the meantime... - Mm-hmm? 515 00:19:07,356 --> 00:19:08,456 Let's make a deal. 516 00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:10,858 I'll help you connect with people, 517 00:19:10,925 --> 00:19:12,926 And you help me do a better job with them. 518 00:19:12,994 --> 00:19:14,661 Like knight rider. 519 00:19:14,729 --> 00:19:16,262 Exactly. Like knight rider. 520 00:19:16,330 --> 00:19:17,530 Deal. 521 00:19:17,598 --> 00:19:18,698 I'll put on a leather jacket 522 00:19:18,765 --> 00:19:19,999 And make out with an aerobics instructor. 523 00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:21,500 You pull around front and comedically 524 00:19:21,568 --> 00:19:23,769 Startle passersby with your ability to talk. 525 00:19:23,837 --> 00:19:25,271 Maybe we should just stay here 526 00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:26,939 And have a plate of chicken fingers. 527 00:19:27,007 --> 00:19:28,708 Cool. 528 00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,343 Can we eat them while sitting on a table 529 00:19:30,411 --> 00:19:31,444 Like in sixteen candles? 530 00:19:31,512 --> 00:19:32,945 Pick one reference, Abed. 531 00:19:33,013 --> 00:19:34,681 Sixteen candles. 532 00:19:34,748 --> 00:19:37,451 And just like that, the mafia movie was over. 533 00:19:37,518 --> 00:19:39,052 I quit the fry cook job, 534 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,154 Somewhat for the sake of the family, 535 00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,890 But mostly for the sake of Jeff's ego. 536 00:19:43,958 --> 00:19:45,324 Poor guy. 537 00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:46,992 Things went back to normal. 538 00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,828 Now everyone's back to being a bunch of regular schnooks, 539 00:19:49,896 --> 00:19:52,230 And I'm back to being a weirdo, 540 00:19:52,298 --> 00:19:54,833 Back to watching from the outside... 541 00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:56,334 For now. 542 00:19:56,402 --> 00:19:57,936 There's still not enough chicken fingers. 543 00:19:58,003 --> 00:20:00,605 - No way. - What? 544 00:20:00,673 --> 00:20:02,140 'cause as soon as our family moved out, 545 00:20:02,208 --> 00:20:04,509 A new syndicate moved in to take its place. 546 00:20:04,577 --> 00:20:07,212 But you know what they'll never make a replacement for? 547 00:20:08,982 --> 00:20:11,650 Friends. 548 00:20:11,718 --> 00:20:14,187 Okay, thank you. That's great, Abed. 549 00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,656 But could you just answer the question? 550 00:20:16,724 --> 00:20:18,159 What was it? 551 00:20:18,226 --> 00:20:19,660 Do you know who might have stolen 552 00:20:19,728 --> 00:20:21,328 A box of hairnets from the kitchen? 553 00:20:21,396 --> 00:20:22,863 Someone with hair. 554 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,599 I'm gonna write that down. 555 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:34,198 Sync by YesCool www.addic7ed. Resync for 720p by Baqinardo com www.iSubs.coil.us.to