1 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,110 I don't want to be late for lunch. 2 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,879 "Amar" is "to love", right? 3 00:00:13,946 --> 00:00:15,613 Oh! Speaking of love, 4 00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:18,082 Shirley, how's it going with the sexy dreadlock guy? 5 00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:20,284 Oh, I'm sure I don't have a chance with him. 6 00:00:20,352 --> 00:00:22,337 Abed and I talked to him by the vending machines. 7 00:00:22,405 --> 00:00:23,740 He asked about you. 8 00:00:23,808 --> 00:00:25,029 He specifically asked about me? 9 00:00:25,097 --> 00:00:26,694 - Mm-hmm. - Sure. 10 00:00:26,762 --> 00:00:28,028 When Annie brought you up, he specifically asked, 11 00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:30,194 - "Who is that?" - Abed. 12 00:00:30,262 --> 00:00:32,295 - Oh. - What? That's what he said. 13 00:00:32,362 --> 00:00:34,694 Abed, your social skills aren't exactly streets ahead. 14 00:00:34,762 --> 00:00:36,328 You know what I mean? 15 00:00:36,395 --> 00:00:37,898 - I don't. - You're not alone in this case. 16 00:00:37,966 --> 00:00:39,602 Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase, 17 00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:40,944 "Streets ahead". 18 00:00:41,012 --> 00:00:43,145 Trying? 19 00:00:43,213 --> 00:00:45,315 Coined and minted. 20 00:00:45,382 --> 00:00:46,954 Been there, coined that. 21 00:00:47,022 --> 00:00:49,959 "Streets ahead" is verbal wildfire. 22 00:00:50,027 --> 00:00:51,662 Does it just mean "cool", or is it 23 00:00:51,730 --> 00:00:54,233 supposed to be, like, "miles ahead"? 24 00:00:54,301 --> 00:00:56,604 If you have to ask, you're streets behind. 25 00:00:56,672 --> 00:00:58,476 Okay, we can banter if we want to banter, 26 00:00:58,543 --> 00:01:00,645 but I'm warning you I am leaving for lunch early. 27 00:01:00,713 --> 00:01:01,646 - Me too. - Me three. 28 00:01:01,714 --> 00:01:02,848 Streets ahead. 29 00:01:02,917 --> 00:01:04,285 Man, you guys really love 30 00:01:04,352 --> 00:01:05,619 these stupid chicken fingers, huh? 31 00:01:05,687 --> 00:01:07,321 Uh, they're not stupid. 32 00:01:07,389 --> 00:01:08,956 They're the only good thing in the cafeteria. 33 00:01:09,024 --> 00:01:11,258 I haven't had one in weeks. They run out so fast. 34 00:01:11,326 --> 00:01:13,295 If God were edible... Not that I'm Catholic, 35 00:01:13,363 --> 00:01:14,430 but if it was cool to eat God, 36 00:01:14,498 --> 00:01:15,631 he'd be a chicken finger. 37 00:01:15,699 --> 00:01:16,833 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 38 00:01:16,901 --> 00:01:17,968 Well, I wouldn't know. 39 00:01:18,035 --> 00:01:19,336 I'm a vegetarian. 40 00:01:19,404 --> 00:01:20,838 - Shocker. - Yeah. 41 00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:22,340 And if you guys knew how they treated 42 00:01:22,407 --> 00:01:23,775 the animals that you are eating, 43 00:01:23,842 --> 00:01:25,811 you would eat them even faster 44 00:01:25,879 --> 00:01:27,013 just to put them out of their misery 45 00:01:27,081 --> 00:01:28,481 and then you would throw up. 46 00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:30,717 I don't know. 47 00:01:30,785 --> 00:01:33,153 Maybe I'm feeling extra protective 48 00:01:33,221 --> 00:01:34,587 of animals today because my cat is sick. 49 00:01:34,655 --> 00:01:36,423 - Oh, a cat? - That's awful. 50 00:01:36,491 --> 00:01:37,857 He has diabetes. 51 00:01:37,925 --> 00:01:39,959 He can't even make it to the litter box... 52 00:01:40,026 --> 00:01:42,193 - Chicken run! - Whoo! 53 00:01:42,261 --> 00:01:44,329 Ow! 54 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:47,598 I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to put her to sleep. 55 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,333 Ah, go on. 56 00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:51,334 God bless you. 57 00:01:51,401 --> 00:01:52,768 Save some for me! 58 00:01:52,836 --> 00:01:54,136 Watch out! 59 00:01:54,203 --> 00:01:58,203 - Sync By YesCool - ~ iSubs.coil.us.to & Addic7ed.com 60 00:01:58,204 --> 00:02:01,204 Corrected by icephoenix and by 4be1 www.addic7ed.com 61 00:02:02,099 --> 00:02:05,315 Oh, I can hear those fingers calling my name. 62 00:02:05,382 --> 00:02:07,117 "Troy! Troy!" 63 00:02:07,184 --> 00:02:08,852 Troy, did you get my text message? 64 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:09,954 "Did you get my text message?" 65 00:02:10,021 --> 00:02:14,892 Um, I think it's... 66 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,260 I got to stop hanging out with her. 67 00:02:16,328 --> 00:02:18,730 She sounds like a chicken finger. 68 00:02:18,797 --> 00:02:20,197 Again? 69 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,699 Outrageous. 70 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,400 At least apologize. 71 00:02:23,468 --> 00:02:26,669 How can you just stand there like a mute idiot? 72 00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:32,007 - Ooh. - Well... 73 00:02:32,075 --> 00:02:33,442 Throat surgery might humanize you, 74 00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:34,743 but it doesn't make this acceptable. 75 00:02:34,811 --> 00:02:35,944 So cute. 76 00:02:36,012 --> 00:02:38,613 And I don't even normally like dreadlocks. 77 00:02:38,681 --> 00:02:42,918 Hello. 78 00:02:42,986 --> 00:02:44,820 His dreadlocks remind me of The Predator, 79 00:02:44,888 --> 00:02:47,658 which is weird, because you're doing the actual hunting 80 00:02:47,726 --> 00:02:51,262 and you seem invisible to him. 81 00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:53,064 - Abed, you know what I do? - Hmm? 82 00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,900 Before I talk, I ask myself, 83 00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,034 "What am I about to say?" 84 00:02:56,102 --> 00:02:58,604 "And how might it affect each person listening?" 85 00:02:58,672 --> 00:03:00,372 I'm really glad you said that, Britta. 86 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,408 The idea that you compulsively filter yourself 87 00:03:02,476 --> 00:03:05,212 makes your lack of flavor kind of a flavor. 88 00:03:05,279 --> 00:03:08,348 Sorry, guys. They ran out again. 89 00:03:08,416 --> 00:03:10,151 Something's gotta be done. 90 00:03:13,755 --> 00:03:15,423 Hey! 91 00:03:15,491 --> 00:03:18,894 What the hell, man? 92 00:03:18,961 --> 00:03:20,929 That's half our problem right there. 93 00:03:20,997 --> 00:03:23,532 Star-burns works the fryer and skims fingers. 94 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,734 No way. 95 00:03:24,801 --> 00:03:25,935 He gives them to people just so 96 00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:27,804 they'll act like he isn't Star-burns. 97 00:03:27,872 --> 00:03:29,139 Well, I may not eat meat, 98 00:03:29,206 --> 00:03:31,642 but I am not gonna eat that injustice. 99 00:03:31,709 --> 00:03:32,910 Let's complain. 100 00:03:32,978 --> 00:03:34,645 If we complain, he gets a warning 101 00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:35,779 and learns to be sneakier. 102 00:03:35,847 --> 00:03:37,248 I say we knock him out of the kitchen 103 00:03:37,315 --> 00:03:38,983 and replace him with one of our own 104 00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:40,551 all in one move. 105 00:03:40,619 --> 00:03:42,086 Then we're the ones with the chicken. 106 00:03:42,154 --> 00:03:43,521 It's like a mafia movie. 107 00:03:43,589 --> 00:03:44,922 As far back as I can remember, 108 00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:46,524 I always wanted to be in a mafia movie. 109 00:03:46,591 --> 00:03:47,758 Cool. 110 00:03:47,826 --> 00:03:49,393 That's exactly what it's like, Abed, 111 00:03:49,461 --> 00:03:50,928 and you get the most important job. 112 00:03:50,996 --> 00:03:52,162 You're gonna be fry cook. 113 00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:53,764 We may be watching different mafia movies. 114 00:03:53,832 --> 00:03:55,398 You worked in your dad's restaurant, right? 115 00:03:55,466 --> 00:03:56,632 Well, you'll apply for the job 116 00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:57,800 after we get Star-burns fired. 117 00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:58,968 I don't know about that. 118 00:03:59,036 --> 00:04:00,336 I don't know about the firing. 119 00:04:00,404 --> 00:04:02,306 I think he really relies on that income. 120 00:04:02,373 --> 00:04:03,407 Yeah, man. 121 00:04:03,475 --> 00:04:05,409 Every day you flock here like sheep 122 00:04:05,477 --> 00:04:08,079 and wait in line for a broken promise from a dirty system. 123 00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:09,547 Back in those days, Jeff Winger 124 00:04:09,615 --> 00:04:10,915 was the guy that made things happen. 125 00:04:10,983 --> 00:04:12,384 He always knew what to say 126 00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,353 and he always knew when to slap the table. 127 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,421 You want to be sheep, keep flocking. 128 00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:18,757 You want to be wolves, form a pack. 129 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,160 And that was it. It was that simple. 130 00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:23,595 At that moment, we stopped being a family 131 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:26,432 and started being a family... in italics. 132 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:28,767 Britta got cozy with Star-burns. 133 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,536 - Can I touch both at... Oh! - Yeah, do 'em both. 134 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,637 He lowered his guard and just like that, 135 00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:36,975 he was gone. 136 00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:39,544 I mean, the way Jeff saw it, by not respecting us, 137 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,746 Star-burns had basically brought it on himself. 138 00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,949 And when his job opened up, we did what we had to do 139 00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:46,985 to keep the list of applicants to a minimum. 140 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:48,720 I had worked in my dad's falafel restaurant, 141 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,355 so I had a pretty impressive resume. 142 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,456 It's very impressive. 143 00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,558 Especially your reference. 144 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:54,826 Just give 'em a call right now. 145 00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:56,194 But we weren't taking any chances. 146 00:04:56,261 --> 00:04:58,162 The fix was in. 147 00:04:58,230 --> 00:05:01,332 Trump tower, this is Donald. 148 00:05:01,399 --> 00:05:02,900 Well, he can deep-fry the hell out of chicken. 149 00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:04,234 I can tell you that. 150 00:05:04,302 --> 00:05:05,702 Troy even applied for the same job 151 00:05:05,770 --> 00:05:06,903 and gave the world's worst interview 152 00:05:06,971 --> 00:05:08,938 just to make me look better. 153 00:05:09,006 --> 00:05:10,373 And that was that. 154 00:05:10,441 --> 00:05:12,542 This was the glorious time. 155 00:05:12,609 --> 00:05:14,143 No more racing to the cafeteria. 156 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:15,444 No more lines. 157 00:05:15,512 --> 00:05:16,845 To us, lines were for suckers, 158 00:05:16,913 --> 00:05:18,613 hacks, sheep. 159 00:05:18,681 --> 00:05:20,848 We were wolves. 160 00:05:20,916 --> 00:05:24,552 And we had the chicken to prove it. 161 00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:26,053 - Oh. - Ooh. 162 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,454 To victory. 163 00:05:27,522 --> 00:05:29,022 It feels unfamiliar, 164 00:05:29,090 --> 00:05:30,523 but it tastes like chicken. 165 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:34,060 Mm-hmm. 166 00:05:34,127 --> 00:05:35,461 Hi. 167 00:05:35,529 --> 00:05:37,430 - Hello. - You guys are lucky. 168 00:05:37,498 --> 00:05:38,464 They're always running out. 169 00:05:38,532 --> 00:05:40,099 Would you like one? 170 00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:43,069 Name's Shirley. Memorize it. 171 00:05:43,137 --> 00:05:44,570 I will, Shirley. 172 00:05:44,638 --> 00:05:45,571 Eee! 173 00:05:45,639 --> 00:05:46,706 See that, ladies? 174 00:05:46,774 --> 00:05:48,908 The universe goes by supply and demand. 175 00:05:48,975 --> 00:05:51,877 The more you take and use, the more it sends. 176 00:05:51,945 --> 00:05:53,245 Somebody's been taking a little extra. 177 00:05:53,313 --> 00:05:54,380 What's in that container? 178 00:05:54,448 --> 00:05:55,448 - Eight fingers. - Abed. 179 00:05:55,515 --> 00:05:58,617 Abed's study group. 180 00:05:58,685 --> 00:06:00,185 Why are you giving Chang chicken? 181 00:06:00,253 --> 00:06:01,319 We have an agreement. 182 00:06:01,387 --> 00:06:02,620 But, Abed, if you get caught skimming, 183 00:06:02,688 --> 00:06:04,889 you get fired and we all go back to eating like Britta. 184 00:06:04,957 --> 00:06:07,224 Yeah, we put you in that job. 185 00:06:07,292 --> 00:06:09,993 I dressed like a crazy pharaoh for you, man. 186 00:06:10,061 --> 00:06:12,128 You make the fingers, Abed, not the decisions. 187 00:06:12,196 --> 00:06:13,129 I'm sorry. 188 00:06:13,196 --> 00:06:14,530 It's okay, buddy. 189 00:06:14,598 --> 00:06:16,732 But just remember these things have power. 190 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:17,967 So just let me know next time 191 00:06:18,034 --> 00:06:20,436 you have any more agreements, all right? 192 00:06:20,504 --> 00:06:22,572 Yeah, I agreed to give Chang eight fingers per lunch 193 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,574 in exchange for a 10% bump on every Spanish test 194 00:06:24,642 --> 00:06:25,842 for each of us. 195 00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:28,345 - Oh! - Okay. 196 00:06:28,413 --> 00:06:29,947 Abed makes the fingers and the decisions. 197 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,482 - Yeah. - Yeah. 198 00:06:35,054 --> 00:06:36,855 Oh, Abed, you're like the best. 199 00:06:39,527 --> 00:06:40,527 At Greendale, they were always out of chicken fingers, 200 00:06:40,595 --> 00:06:42,495 so whoever could get them had power. 201 00:06:42,563 --> 00:06:44,030 Oh. 202 00:06:44,098 --> 00:06:45,164 And I was the guy in the apron, 203 00:06:45,232 --> 00:06:46,666 so I came up with a system, and pretty soon 204 00:06:46,734 --> 00:06:47,834 half the chicken at Greendale 205 00:06:47,902 --> 00:06:50,570 was going out the side door. 206 00:06:50,637 --> 00:06:52,371 Everybody in our crew had a job. 207 00:06:52,438 --> 00:06:54,005 T-bone was the bag man. 208 00:06:54,073 --> 00:06:55,607 He'd move the fingers to a storeroom 209 00:06:55,675 --> 00:06:57,408 where two of the girls did the packaging. 210 00:06:57,476 --> 00:06:59,544 We could trust them not to eat the supply 211 00:06:59,612 --> 00:07:00,879 because Britta was a vegetarian 212 00:07:00,946 --> 00:07:02,580 and Shirley figured that if she stole, 213 00:07:02,648 --> 00:07:04,482 she'd go to hell. 214 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,383 They'd hand the stuff out the window to Annie. 215 00:07:06,451 --> 00:07:08,751 She was the leg man and the distributor. 216 00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:12,688 The crazy thing was... it was their food 217 00:07:12,755 --> 00:07:14,823 and we were stealing it and giving it back to them 218 00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:17,157 like it was a big favor. 219 00:07:17,225 --> 00:07:19,893 Nobody asked any questions because Pierce's experience 220 00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,460 as a CEO had taught him how 221 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,196 to keep the wheels from squeaking. 222 00:07:23,263 --> 00:07:24,764 I had it all worked out on a schedule. 223 00:07:24,832 --> 00:07:26,865 You know, I've never been fired from a job 224 00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:28,867 and this is, like, my perfect job. 225 00:07:28,934 --> 00:07:30,434 I'm Mr. Chicken fingers. 226 00:07:30,502 --> 00:07:32,303 The minute before you thought about busting us, 227 00:07:32,371 --> 00:07:35,072 that was the minute you had a chicken in your hand. 228 00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:36,840 Everyone had their hand out. 229 00:07:36,908 --> 00:07:39,476 - Everyone wanted what we had. - Oh! Oh, well. 230 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,578 So we had anything we wanted. 231 00:07:41,645 --> 00:07:43,345 And Jeff had the most important job of all. 232 00:07:43,413 --> 00:07:44,546 He was at the top. 233 00:07:44,614 --> 00:07:45,981 He was the boss. 234 00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:47,582 He was our leader. 235 00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:49,484 What the hell is going on? 236 00:07:49,551 --> 00:07:51,319 A/V kids hooked it up. 237 00:07:51,386 --> 00:07:52,687 Abed supplied the whole department 238 00:07:52,754 --> 00:07:53,753 with chicken fingers. 239 00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:54,920 You think that's good, 240 00:07:54,988 --> 00:07:56,821 check out my posse and Troy's monkey. 241 00:07:56,889 --> 00:07:59,456 Troy, why do you have a monkey? 242 00:07:59,524 --> 00:08:01,358 Uh, it's an animal that looks like a dude. 243 00:08:01,426 --> 00:08:02,926 Why don't I have ten of them? 244 00:08:02,994 --> 00:08:06,596 Guys, look what Abed scored for me. 245 00:08:06,664 --> 00:08:07,731 Ooh. 246 00:08:07,798 --> 00:08:09,064 It has a million zippers 247 00:08:09,132 --> 00:08:10,365 and it was free. 248 00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,837 - Oh. - Ooh, robot. 249 00:08:15,904 --> 00:08:17,371 I am a robot. 250 00:08:17,439 --> 00:08:19,907 I am programmed to love this backpack. 251 00:08:19,974 --> 00:08:20,974 This is insane. 252 00:08:21,041 --> 00:08:22,542 More insane than programming them 253 00:08:22,609 --> 00:08:24,277 to replace auto workers? 254 00:08:24,345 --> 00:08:26,011 What? 255 00:08:26,079 --> 00:08:29,848 Okay, okay, if you're not in this study group, please. 256 00:08:29,915 --> 00:08:31,115 No, no. 257 00:08:31,182 --> 00:08:32,750 That means you, sexy dreadlocks, 258 00:08:32,817 --> 00:08:34,284 - Britta's hairdresser... - What? 259 00:08:34,352 --> 00:08:36,152 Pierce's hackneyed entourage. 260 00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,753 Hackneyed? 261 00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:38,854 You see the turban guy? 262 00:08:38,922 --> 00:08:40,556 Yes, in a '90s ski movie 263 00:08:40,624 --> 00:08:42,725 that featured an entourage. 264 00:08:42,792 --> 00:08:44,426 Don't you guys think this is getting out of hand? 265 00:08:44,494 --> 00:08:45,627 Oh, we're not gonna get caught. 266 00:08:45,695 --> 00:08:47,195 We have campus security on the take. 267 00:08:47,263 --> 00:08:48,630 Abed's got it all figured out. 268 00:08:48,697 --> 00:08:50,765 - Mm-hmm. - Well, that's a relief. 269 00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:52,300 Yeah, it's pretty cool being friends 270 00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:54,068 with the biggest man on campus. 271 00:08:54,136 --> 00:08:55,370 Isn't that right, Annie's Boobs? 272 00:08:56,505 --> 00:08:58,106 Please rename that thing! 273 00:08:58,174 --> 00:09:00,141 And this time, not with a contest on Twitter. 274 00:09:00,209 --> 00:09:01,309 It's his Twitter account. 275 00:09:01,377 --> 00:09:02,577 He can do what he wants. 276 00:09:02,645 --> 00:09:03,979 They are my body parts! 277 00:09:04,047 --> 00:09:05,080 I do not consent to this! 278 00:09:05,148 --> 00:09:06,815 You know what I don't appreciate? 279 00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:11,153 I wouldn't threaten a monkey. 280 00:09:11,221 --> 00:09:14,124 They have more lactic acid than us. 281 00:09:14,191 --> 00:09:15,858 Shared my chicken with him. 282 00:09:15,926 --> 00:09:16,992 - Talk to the backpack. - I told you! 283 00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:18,294 You're the worst, Annie. 284 00:09:18,362 --> 00:09:19,762 Streets ahead! 285 00:09:27,903 --> 00:09:29,571 Line starts behind you. 286 00:09:29,638 --> 00:09:31,339 Oh, he's cool. 287 00:09:31,407 --> 00:09:33,607 Six fingers every Wednesday. 288 00:09:33,675 --> 00:09:35,108 Cool. And what can you offer? 289 00:09:35,176 --> 00:09:38,379 I have a bicycle and I teach Beginner's Tennis. 290 00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:39,814 Cool. Okay. 291 00:09:39,881 --> 00:09:42,016 Six fingers Wednesdays. 292 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:43,917 All right. 293 00:09:43,985 --> 00:09:45,285 We'll be in touch, Janel. 294 00:09:45,353 --> 00:09:48,389 - Thank you, Abed. - You're welcome. 295 00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:50,358 - Hey, Jeff. - Hey, buddy. 296 00:09:50,426 --> 00:09:51,860 It's quite a setup you got here. 297 00:09:51,927 --> 00:09:54,495 Yeah, I'm pretty excited about it. 298 00:09:54,563 --> 00:09:55,930 It turns out everyone has needs 299 00:09:55,997 --> 00:09:57,898 and everyone has functions. 300 00:09:57,966 --> 00:09:59,933 Look, um, I've been thinking 301 00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:01,802 maybe I need to hit the big red button 302 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,471 and bring an end to this operation. 303 00:10:04,539 --> 00:10:07,674 I mean, it's been fun, but it's out of control now. 304 00:10:07,742 --> 00:10:09,375 - Am I right? - I don't know. 305 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,310 The entire campus is controlled by our group, 306 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,778 our group is controlled by chicken, 307 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,247 and the chicken is controlled by me. 308 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,282 Float? 309 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,617 I'm good. 310 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:20,087 Abed, the mafia movie is over. 311 00:10:20,154 --> 00:10:21,722 I'm not doing a mafia movie. 312 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,324 In fact, I don't need to use movies 313 00:10:23,392 --> 00:10:25,226 or TV shows to talk to people anymore. 314 00:10:25,294 --> 00:10:27,128 Before, I only needed them because the day-to-day world 315 00:10:27,196 --> 00:10:28,730 made no sense to me, but now, 316 00:10:28,798 --> 00:10:30,231 everyone's speaking the same language. 317 00:10:30,299 --> 00:10:31,500 Chicken. 318 00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:33,469 I understand people and they finally understand me. 319 00:10:33,536 --> 00:10:36,038 Abed, eventually people are gonna get tired of chicken. 320 00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:37,105 I'm tired of chicken. 321 00:10:37,173 --> 00:10:38,173 You're not tired of chicken. 322 00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:39,474 You miss the taste of control. 323 00:10:41,276 --> 00:10:42,743 Well, that's crazy. 324 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:45,646 Is it? 325 00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:50,550 Unfortunately, the very thing that drove you 326 00:10:50,618 --> 00:10:51,985 to this dorm room is what would prevent you 327 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,453 from properly running this machine 328 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,654 or even being a cog in it. 329 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:55,955 Your ego. 330 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,791 Well... 331 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,560 I see. I see. 332 00:11:00,628 --> 00:11:04,198 This has been about me the whole time. 333 00:11:04,265 --> 00:11:07,601 You want a shot at the Jeff Winger throne? 334 00:11:07,669 --> 00:11:10,339 You better bring a powerful ass. 335 00:11:10,407 --> 00:11:12,941 Oh, and for your information, I don't have an ego. 336 00:11:13,009 --> 00:11:15,811 My Facebook photo is a landscape. 337 00:11:20,918 --> 00:11:23,820 You're the best, Eduardo. 338 00:11:23,888 --> 00:11:25,288 Thank you all for coming. 339 00:11:25,356 --> 00:11:26,623 Can we make this quick? 340 00:11:26,691 --> 00:11:28,558 I need to give a banana to Annie's Boobs. 341 00:11:28,626 --> 00:11:30,327 Abed is drunk with chicken power. 342 00:11:30,395 --> 00:11:33,330 He's gone from lovable Johnny Five to Evil Hal. 343 00:11:33,398 --> 00:11:34,998 - Hal Holb... - Not Hal Holbrook. 344 00:11:35,066 --> 00:11:36,033 What are you saying? 345 00:11:36,101 --> 00:11:38,469 You all have to stop working for him. 346 00:11:38,537 --> 00:11:40,204 Let this operation dry up 347 00:11:40,272 --> 00:11:42,173 and let his wheels spin down. 348 00:11:42,241 --> 00:11:45,077 At which point you would be in charge again, right? 349 00:11:45,145 --> 00:11:46,979 - What? - This is so sad. 350 00:11:47,047 --> 00:11:49,516 You're jealous of Abed because he's providing for us. 351 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,650 Mm-hmm. 352 00:11:50,718 --> 00:11:52,052 No, I'm concerned about Abed 353 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,454 because he won't listen to reason. 354 00:11:53,522 --> 00:11:54,990 Won't listen to your reason. 355 00:11:55,058 --> 00:11:56,091 Mm-hmm. 356 00:11:56,159 --> 00:11:57,893 Why should he? Jeff's so not... 357 00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,828 Say "Streets ahead" and die. 358 00:11:59,896 --> 00:12:02,430 Streets ahead. 359 00:12:03,666 --> 00:12:04,699 You want to boss me around? 360 00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:05,700 Get me an entourage. 361 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:06,900 Get Troy a monkey. 362 00:12:06,968 --> 00:12:08,235 That's what a real boss does. 363 00:12:08,303 --> 00:12:09,503 Yes. 364 00:12:09,571 --> 00:12:10,571 We probably shouldn't even be talking to him 365 00:12:10,638 --> 00:12:11,571 without checking with Abed. 366 00:12:11,639 --> 00:12:12,939 I'm already trying him. 367 00:12:13,007 --> 00:12:14,674 He's not picking up. What did you do with him? 368 00:12:14,742 --> 00:12:16,442 I don't believe what greedy sellouts 369 00:12:16,510 --> 00:12:18,344 you people turned out to be. 370 00:12:18,411 --> 00:12:19,712 I'm not gonna stand here and be ignored. 371 00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,046 Shh! Voicemail. 372 00:12:21,114 --> 00:12:22,214 Hey, Abed. 373 00:12:22,282 --> 00:12:23,882 Jeff says you're not listening to him. 374 00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:25,684 Does that mean we shouldn't listen to him either? 375 00:12:25,752 --> 00:12:28,119 Oh, also, should we make special jackets 376 00:12:28,187 --> 00:12:29,721 for our crime family? 377 00:12:29,789 --> 00:12:32,057 Like, blazers with chicken finger patches. 378 00:12:32,124 --> 00:12:33,892 I don't know. Long message. I'm sorry. 379 00:12:33,959 --> 00:12:35,226 That's it! 380 00:12:35,294 --> 00:12:36,594 - Ooh! - Abed! 381 00:12:38,163 --> 00:12:39,963 Look, I'm walking out this door right now. 382 00:12:40,031 --> 00:12:41,565 - Okay. - Okay. 383 00:12:41,632 --> 00:12:43,099 - For real. - Good. 384 00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:45,234 - I'm not gonna look back. - Mm-hmm. 385 00:12:45,302 --> 00:12:47,136 - Good-bye. - Good-bye! 386 00:12:47,204 --> 00:12:48,304 Abed! 387 00:12:48,372 --> 00:12:49,739 - Hi! - Yes! 388 00:12:49,807 --> 00:12:50,907 Anybody need anything? 389 00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:52,742 Oh, everything. You look handsome. 390 00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:55,478 I like everything about you now, Abed. 391 00:12:55,546 --> 00:12:57,980 I want a new hairdresser though. 392 00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:22,117 Yeah, I got you fired. 393 00:13:22,184 --> 00:13:23,618 You deserved it. 394 00:13:23,686 --> 00:13:26,454 Maybe. Maybe not. 395 00:13:26,522 --> 00:13:30,725 The question is, "What do they deserve?" 396 00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:37,666 Key to the kitchen. 397 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,336 There's a valve on the back of the chicken fryer 398 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,304 that's not made anymore. 399 00:13:42,372 --> 00:13:45,741 Now, say someone were to remove it. 400 00:13:45,809 --> 00:13:49,212 The fryer wouldn't work... 401 00:13:49,279 --> 00:13:51,013 forever. 402 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:54,416 How petty do you think I am? 403 00:13:58,154 --> 00:14:01,122 Jeff leaving the family didn't turn out to be a problem. 404 00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:03,659 Okay, I think we're set for the quiz. 405 00:14:03,726 --> 00:14:05,093 - Yep. - See you guys in class. 406 00:14:05,161 --> 00:14:06,395 Oh, wait. Before you go. 407 00:14:06,463 --> 00:14:08,331 - Oh, free notebooks. - Here. 408 00:14:08,398 --> 00:14:11,868 But the family's success started to go to their heads. 409 00:14:11,936 --> 00:14:13,503 They didn't have college ruled? 410 00:14:13,571 --> 00:14:14,671 No, sorry. 411 00:14:14,739 --> 00:14:16,740 It's okay. 412 00:14:21,212 --> 00:14:23,113 - Abed? - Yeah? 413 00:14:23,181 --> 00:14:24,314 Can I talk to you for a minute? 414 00:14:24,382 --> 00:14:25,316 Sure. 415 00:14:25,383 --> 00:14:27,084 We have a situation. 416 00:14:27,152 --> 00:14:28,819 - Hey. - Who is this? 417 00:14:28,887 --> 00:14:30,254 It's Travis. 418 00:14:30,322 --> 00:14:32,122 You said you wanted someone in your entourage named Travis. 419 00:14:32,190 --> 00:14:35,292 Show him your license. 420 00:14:35,359 --> 00:14:37,027 Travis is his middle name. 421 00:14:37,095 --> 00:14:38,295 I go by Travis. 422 00:14:38,363 --> 00:14:39,596 No, you go by the door. 423 00:14:39,664 --> 00:14:42,466 See you, Travis. 424 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:46,070 Get it right next time. 425 00:14:46,138 --> 00:14:47,338 - Abed? - Yep? 426 00:14:47,406 --> 00:14:49,407 No, no, no, no. 427 00:14:49,475 --> 00:14:55,246 My monkey hates this caviar. 428 00:14:55,314 --> 00:14:56,514 Troy, isn't that... 429 00:14:56,581 --> 00:14:59,684 They were spoiled, fat, lazy. 430 00:14:59,752 --> 00:15:01,352 I'd given them everything and somehow 431 00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:03,321 I'd lost their respect. 432 00:15:03,389 --> 00:15:05,190 So I did the only thing I could think of. 433 00:15:05,257 --> 00:15:06,991 I did what I thought Jeff would do. 434 00:15:07,059 --> 00:15:09,561 I sent them a message. 435 00:15:20,172 --> 00:15:21,472 What is that? 436 00:15:21,539 --> 00:15:23,741 I think it might be a backpack 437 00:15:23,808 --> 00:15:26,443 that's been mutilated. 438 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:06,849 These were the bad times. 439 00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,121 - There he is. - Jeff. 440 00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,422 - Jeff! - Jeff! 441 00:16:13,489 --> 00:16:14,556 - Jeff! - Jeff! 442 00:16:14,624 --> 00:16:16,057 Abed killed my backpack. 443 00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:17,458 And I caught him stuffing my man 444 00:16:17,526 --> 00:16:19,393 full of chicken and Tyler Perry has a whole series of movies 445 00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:20,627 about why that's wrong. 446 00:16:20,695 --> 00:16:22,496 That little Arab is off his rocker. 447 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:23,965 He released Annie's Boobs. 448 00:16:24,032 --> 00:16:25,366 Annie's Boobs could be anywhere. 449 00:16:25,434 --> 00:16:26,601 Annie's Boobs could be on the side of the road. 450 00:16:26,669 --> 00:16:27,869 We got it. 451 00:16:27,937 --> 00:16:28,937 The monkey's name is "Annie's Boobs". 452 00:16:29,005 --> 00:16:31,106 Look what Abed did to my hair. 453 00:16:31,174 --> 00:16:33,609 I feel terrible for all of you. 454 00:16:33,677 --> 00:16:35,745 Wait, no, I don't, because I warned you 455 00:16:35,813 --> 00:16:37,580 about all this, but you were so high 456 00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,282 on your backpacks and hairstyles 457 00:16:39,349 --> 00:16:41,350 you accused me of being jealous. 458 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,152 You were right. But what can we do? 459 00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:45,955 I'm sorry, you brushed over that first part. 460 00:16:46,023 --> 00:16:48,591 Together. 461 00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,693 You were right. 462 00:16:50,761 --> 00:16:51,994 Now what you can do is go home 463 00:16:52,062 --> 00:16:54,129 and write that on your bathroom mirror. 464 00:16:54,197 --> 00:16:55,964 Wouldn't that make it seem like I was right? 465 00:16:56,032 --> 00:16:58,000 Yeah, because it would be my mirror. 466 00:16:58,068 --> 00:17:00,002 It's not gonna be reversed because you're the one who... 467 00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:08,277 As for Abed, for his sake 468 00:17:08,345 --> 00:17:10,780 I guess I'll have to take him out. 469 00:17:10,848 --> 00:17:11,982 Poor little guy. 470 00:17:12,050 --> 00:17:14,218 Oh, good. That's nice. 471 00:17:32,371 --> 00:17:34,872 Abed. 472 00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:36,207 What are you doing? 473 00:17:36,274 --> 00:17:38,575 Making tater tots. 474 00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:40,844 You were right, people got sick of chicken. 475 00:17:40,912 --> 00:17:41,879 But I was close. 476 00:17:41,947 --> 00:17:43,548 I just need a new food, a new system. 477 00:17:43,615 --> 00:17:45,349 I'm gonna experiment with jalapeno poppers next 478 00:17:45,417 --> 00:17:47,185 - and then zucchini zircles. - I don't get it. 479 00:17:47,252 --> 00:17:48,587 It's not that complicated, Jeff. 480 00:17:48,654 --> 00:17:50,022 They replaced the "C" in circle with a "Z" for zucchini. 481 00:17:50,089 --> 00:17:52,224 No, no, I mean, why are you here? 482 00:17:52,292 --> 00:17:54,627 You said you were close? 483 00:17:57,097 --> 00:17:59,199 What were you close to? 484 00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:03,937 To the group? 485 00:18:04,004 --> 00:18:05,272 To people? 486 00:18:05,339 --> 00:18:06,939 Please don't do a special episode about me. 487 00:18:07,007 --> 00:18:08,374 Oh, I wouldn't dream of it. 488 00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:12,777 Everyone else needs my help. 489 00:18:12,845 --> 00:18:14,279 That's what people don't get, 490 00:18:14,346 --> 00:18:18,049 is that they need to get me. 491 00:18:18,117 --> 00:18:20,084 I just need to be able to connect to people like you can, 492 00:18:20,151 --> 00:18:21,619 and then I can make everyone happy 493 00:18:21,686 --> 00:18:24,689 like you do. 494 00:18:26,826 --> 00:18:28,388 Do you know why I'm here? 495 00:18:28,456 --> 00:18:30,188 You got caught with a fake Bachelor's Degree. 496 00:18:30,255 --> 00:18:31,522 By the way, they started using that 497 00:18:31,590 --> 00:18:32,856 as a seasonal arc on Law & Order. 498 00:18:32,924 --> 00:18:34,691 Total rip off. 499 00:18:34,759 --> 00:18:37,727 I'm here to dismantle the fryer, 500 00:18:37,795 --> 00:18:41,865 to cut your power off at its source. 501 00:18:41,932 --> 00:18:43,367 Don't you see what happened? 502 00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:44,701 I manipulated the group 503 00:18:44,769 --> 00:18:46,135 into getting you the fry cook job 504 00:18:46,203 --> 00:18:48,571 so I could have some chicken. 505 00:18:48,639 --> 00:18:51,741 And you turned it all into a way to make everyone like you. 506 00:18:51,809 --> 00:18:52,943 Mm-hmm. 507 00:18:53,010 --> 00:18:55,312 Made me ashamed of myself. 508 00:18:55,379 --> 00:18:56,780 Made me jealous. 509 00:18:56,848 --> 00:18:58,448 Maybe this is a special episode. 510 00:18:58,516 --> 00:19:00,049 It's pretty alarming behavior, Jeff. 511 00:19:00,117 --> 00:19:01,383 Yeah. 512 00:19:01,451 --> 00:19:02,818 You know, there's specialists you could talk to. 513 00:19:02,886 --> 00:19:04,286 Yeah, maybe I should do that. 514 00:19:04,354 --> 00:19:05,421 Mm-hmm. 515 00:19:05,488 --> 00:19:06,789 - In the meantime... - Mm-hmm? 516 00:19:06,856 --> 00:19:07,956 Let's make a deal. 517 00:19:08,024 --> 00:19:10,358 I'll help you connect with people, 518 00:19:10,425 --> 00:19:12,426 and you help me do a better job with them. 519 00:19:12,494 --> 00:19:14,161 Like Knight Rider. 520 00:19:14,229 --> 00:19:15,762 Exactly. Like Knight Rider. 521 00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:17,030 Deal. 522 00:19:17,098 --> 00:19:18,198 I'll put on a leather jacket 523 00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:19,499 and make out with an aerobics instructor. 524 00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:21,000 you pull around front and comedically 525 00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:23,269 startle passersby with your ability to talk. 526 00:19:23,337 --> 00:19:24,771 Maybe we should just stay here 527 00:19:24,838 --> 00:19:26,439 and have a plate of chicken fingers. 528 00:19:26,507 --> 00:19:28,208 Cool. 529 00:19:28,276 --> 00:19:29,843 Can we eat them while sitting on a table 530 00:19:29,911 --> 00:19:30,944 like in Sixteen Candles? 531 00:19:31,012 --> 00:19:32,445 Pick one reference, Abed. 532 00:19:32,513 --> 00:19:34,181 Sixteen Candles. 533 00:19:34,248 --> 00:19:36,951 And just like that, the mafia movie was over. 534 00:19:37,018 --> 00:19:38,552 I quit the fry cook job, 535 00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:40,654 somewhat for the sake of the family, 536 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,390 but mostly for the sake of Jeff's ego. 537 00:19:43,458 --> 00:19:44,824 Poor guy. 538 00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:46,492 Things went back to normal. 539 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,328 Now everyone's back to being a bunch of regular schnooks, 540 00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,730 and I'm back to being a weirdo, 541 00:19:51,798 --> 00:19:54,333 back to watching from the outside... 542 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,834 For now. 543 00:19:55,902 --> 00:19:57,436 There's still not enough chicken fingers. 544 00:19:57,503 --> 00:20:00,105 - No way. - What? 545 00:20:00,173 --> 00:20:01,640 'Cause as soon as our family moved out, 546 00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:04,009 a new syndicate moved in to take its place. 547 00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,712 But you know what they'll never make a replacement for? 548 00:20:08,482 --> 00:20:11,150 Friends. 549 00:20:11,218 --> 00:20:13,687 Okay, thank you. That's great, Abed. 550 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:16,156 But could you just answer the question? 551 00:20:16,224 --> 00:20:17,659 What was it? 552 00:20:17,726 --> 00:20:19,160 Do you know who might have stolen 553 00:20:19,228 --> 00:20:20,828 a box of hairnets from the kitchen? 554 00:20:20,896 --> 00:20:22,363 Someone with hair. 555 00:20:22,431 --> 00:20:25,099 I'm gonna write that down. 556 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:33,698 Sync by YesCool www.addic7ed. com www.iSubs.coil.us.to 557 00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:38,699 Corrected by icephoenix and by 4be1 www.addic7ed.com