1
00:00:11,443 --> 00:00:13,010
I don't want to be late
for lunch.

2
00:00:13,078 --> 00:00:14,779
<i>"amar" is "to love," right?</i>

3
00:00:14,846 --> 00:00:16,513
Oh!
Speaking of love,

4
00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,982
Shirley, how's it going
with the sexy dreadlock guy?

5
00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:21,184
Oh, I'm sure I don't
have a chance with him.

6
00:00:21,252 --> 00:00:23,237
Abed and I talked to him
by the vending machines.

7
00:00:23,305 --> 00:00:24,640
He asked about you.

8
00:00:24,708 --> 00:00:25,929
He specifically asked about me?

9
00:00:25,997 --> 00:00:27,594
- Mm-hmm.
- Sure.

10
00:00:27,662 --> 00:00:28,928
When Annie brought you up,
he specifically asked,

11
00:00:28,995 --> 00:00:31,094
"who is that?"
Abed.

12
00:00:31,162 --> 00:00:33,195
- Oh.
- What? That's what he said.

13
00:00:33,262 --> 00:00:35,594
Abed, your social skills
aren't exactly streets ahead.

14
00:00:35,662 --> 00:00:37,228
You know what I mean?

15
00:00:37,295 --> 00:00:38,798
- I don't.
- You're not alone in this case.

16
00:00:38,866 --> 00:00:40,502
Pierce, stop trying
to coin the phrase,

17
00:00:40,570 --> 00:00:41,844
"streets ahead."

18
00:00:41,912 --> 00:00:44,045
Trying?

19
00:00:44,113 --> 00:00:46,215
Coined and minted.

20
00:00:46,282 --> 00:00:47,854
Been there, coined that.

21
00:00:47,922 --> 00:00:50,859
"streets ahead"
is verbal wildfire.

22
00:00:50,927 --> 00:00:52,562
Does it just mean "cool,"
or is it

23
00:00:52,630 --> 00:00:55,133
Supposed to be,
like, "miles ahead"?

24
00:00:55,201 --> 00:00:57,504
If you have to ask,
you're street's fine.

25
00:00:57,572 --> 00:00:59,376
Okay, we can banter
if we want to banter,

26
00:00:59,443 --> 00:01:01,545
But I'm warning you
I am leaving for lunch early.

27
00:01:01,613 --> 00:01:02,546
- Me too.
- Me three.

28
00:01:02,614 --> 00:01:03,748
Streets ahead.

29
00:01:03,817 --> 00:01:05,185
Man, you guys really love

30
00:01:05,252 --> 00:01:06,519
These stupid
chicken fingers, huh?

31
00:01:06,587 --> 00:01:08,221
Uh, they're not stupid.

32
00:01:08,289 --> 00:01:09,856
They're the only good thing
in the cafeteria.

33
00:01:09,924 --> 00:01:12,158
I haven't had one in weeks.
They run out so fast.

34
00:01:12,226 --> 00:01:14,195
If God were edible--
not that I'm catholic,

35
00:01:14,263 --> 00:01:15,330
But if it was cool to eat God,

36
00:01:15,398 --> 00:01:16,531
He'd be a chicken finger.

37
00:01:16,599 --> 00:01:17,733
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

38
00:01:17,801 --> 00:01:18,868
Well, I wouldn't know.

39
00:01:18,935 --> 00:01:20,236
I'm a vegetarian.

40
00:01:20,304 --> 00:01:21,738
- Shocker.
- Yeah.

41
00:01:21,806 --> 00:01:23,240
And if you guys knew
how they treated

42
00:01:23,307 --> 00:01:24,675
The animals
that you are eating,

43
00:01:24,742 --> 00:01:26,711
You would eat them even faster

44
00:01:26,779 --> 00:01:27,913
Just to put them
out of their misery

45
00:01:27,981 --> 00:01:29,381
And then you would throw up.

46
00:01:30,450 --> 00:01:31,617
I don't know.

47
00:01:31,685 --> 00:01:34,053
Maybe I'm feeling
extra protective

48
00:01:34,121 --> 00:01:35,487
Of animals today because
my cat is sick.

49
00:01:35,555 --> 00:01:37,323
- Oh, a cat?
- That's awful.

50
00:01:37,391 --> 00:01:38,757
He has diabetes.

51
00:01:38,825 --> 00:01:40,859
He can't even make it
to the litter box--

52
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:43,093
- Chicken run!
- Whoo!

53
00:01:43,161 --> 00:01:45,229
Ow!

54
00:01:45,296 --> 00:01:48,498
I'm afraid that I'm gonna
have to put her to sleep.

55
00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:51,233
Ah, go on.

56
00:01:51,301 --> 00:01:52,234
God bless you.

57
00:01:52,301 --> 00:01:53,668
Save some for me!

58
00:01:53,736 --> 00:01:55,036
Watch out!

59
00:01:55,103 --> 00:02:02,964
Sync By YesCool -
~ iSubs.coil.us.to & Addic7ed.com

60
00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:06,215
Oh, I can hear those fingers
calling my name.

61
00:02:06,282 --> 00:02:08,017
"Troy!
Troy!"

62
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:09,752
Troy, did you get
my text message?

63
00:02:09,820 --> 00:02:10,854
"did you get my text message?"

64
00:02:10,921 --> 00:02:15,792
Um, I think it's--

65
00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:17,160
I got to stop hanging out
with her.

66
00:02:17,228 --> 00:02:19,630
She sounds like
a chicken finger.

67
00:02:19,697 --> 00:02:21,097
Again?

68
00:02:21,165 --> 00:02:22,599
Outrageous.

69
00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:24,300
At least apologize.

70
00:02:24,368 --> 00:02:27,569
How can you just stand
there like a mute idiot?

71
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,907
- Ooh.
- Well...

72
00:02:32,975 --> 00:02:34,342
Throat surgery
might humanize you,

73
00:02:34,410 --> 00:02:35,643
But it doesn't
make this acceptable.

74
00:02:35,711 --> 00:02:36,844
So cute.

75
00:02:36,912 --> 00:02:39,513
And I don't even normally
like dreadlocks.

76
00:02:39,581 --> 00:02:43,818
Hello.

77
00:02:43,886 --> 00:02:45,720
His dreadlocks remind me
of the predator,

78
00:02:45,788 --> 00:02:48,558
Which is weird, because
you're doing the actual hunting

79
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:52,162
And you seem invisible to him.

80
00:02:52,230 --> 00:02:53,964
- Abed, you know what I do?
- Hmm?

81
00:02:54,032 --> 00:02:55,800
Before I talk, I ask myself,

82
00:02:55,868 --> 00:02:56,934
"what am I about to say

83
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:59,504
And how might it affect
each person listening?"

84
00:02:59,572 --> 00:03:01,272
I'm really glad
you said that, britta.

85
00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:03,308
The idea that you compulsively
filter yourself

86
00:03:03,376 --> 00:03:06,112
Makes your lack of flavor
kind of a flavor.

87
00:03:06,179 --> 00:03:09,248
Sorry, guys.
They ran out again.

88
00:03:09,316 --> 00:03:11,051
Something's gotta be done.

89
00:03:14,655 --> 00:03:16,323
Hey!

90
00:03:16,391 --> 00:03:19,794
What the hell, man?

91
00:03:19,861 --> 00:03:21,829
That's half our problem
right there.

92
00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:24,432
Star-burns works the fryer
and skims fingers.

93
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:25,634
No way.

94
00:03:25,701 --> 00:03:26,835
He gives them to people just so

95
00:03:26,903 --> 00:03:28,704
They'll act like
he isn't star-burns

96
00:03:28,772 --> 00:03:30,039
Well, I may not eat meat,

97
00:03:30,106 --> 00:03:32,542
But I am not gonna
eat that injustice.

98
00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:33,810
Let's complain.

99
00:03:33,878 --> 00:03:35,545
If we complain,
he gets a warning

100
00:03:35,613 --> 00:03:36,679
And learns to be sneakier.

101
00:03:36,747 --> 00:03:38,148
I say we knock him out
of the kitchen

102
00:03:38,215 --> 00:03:39,883
And replace him with one
of our own

103
00:03:39,950 --> 00:03:41,451
All in one move.

104
00:03:41,519 --> 00:03:42,986
Then we're the ones
with the chicken.

105
00:03:43,054 --> 00:03:44,421
It's like a mafia movie.

106
00:03:44,489 --> 00:03:45,822
As far back as I can remember,

107
00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:47,424
I always wanted to be
in a mafia movie.

108
00:03:47,491 --> 00:03:48,658
Cool.

109
00:03:48,726 --> 00:03:50,293
That's exactly
what it's like, Abed,

110
00:03:50,361 --> 00:03:51,828
And you get the most
important job.

111
00:03:51,896 --> 00:03:53,062
You're gonna be fry cook.

112
00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:54,664
We may be watching
different mafia movies.

113
00:03:54,732 --> 00:03:56,298
You worked in your
dad's restaurant, right?

114
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,532
Well, you'll apply for the job

115
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:58,700
After we get star-burns fired.

116
00:03:58,768 --> 00:03:59,868
I don't know about that.

117
00:03:59,936 --> 00:04:01,236
I don't know about the firing.

118
00:04:01,304 --> 00:04:03,206
I think he really relies
on that income.

119
00:04:03,273 --> 00:04:04,307
Yeah, man.

120
00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:06,309
Every day you flock here
like sheep

121
00:04:06,377 --> 00:04:08,979
And wait in line for a broken
promise from a dirty system.

122
00:04:09,047 --> 00:04:10,447
Back in those days, Jeff winger

123
00:04:10,515 --> 00:04:11,815
Was the guy that
made things happen.

124
00:04:11,883 --> 00:04:13,284
He always knew what to say

125
00:04:13,352 --> 00:04:15,253
And he always knew when
to slap the table.

126
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,321
You want to be sheep,
keep flocking.

127
00:04:17,389 --> 00:04:19,657
You want to be wolves,
form a pack.

128
00:04:19,725 --> 00:04:22,060
And that was it.
It was that simple.

129
00:04:22,127 --> 00:04:24,495
At that moment,
we stopped being a family

130
00:04:24,563 --> 00:04:27,332
<i>And started being a family...
In italics.</i>

131
00:04:27,399 --> 00:04:29,667
Britta got cozy
with star-burns.

132
00:04:29,735 --> 00:04:31,436
- Can I touch both at--oh!
- Yeah, do 'em both.

133
00:04:31,503 --> 00:04:33,537
He lowered his guard
and just like that,

134
00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:37,875
He was gone.

135
00:04:37,943 --> 00:04:40,444
I mean, the way Jeff saw it,
by not respecting us,

136
00:04:40,512 --> 00:04:42,646
Star-burns had basically brought
it on himself.

137
00:04:42,714 --> 00:04:44,849
And when his job opened up,
we did what we had to do

138
00:04:44,916 --> 00:04:47,885
To keep the list
of applicants to a minimum.

139
00:04:47,953 --> 00:04:49,620
I had worked in my dad's
falafel restaurant,

140
00:04:49,688 --> 00:04:51,255
So I had a pretty
impressive resume.

141
00:04:51,323 --> 00:04:52,356
It's very impressive.

142
00:04:52,424 --> 00:04:54,458
Especially your reference.

143
00:04:54,526 --> 00:04:55,726
Just give 'em a call right now.

144
00:04:55,794 --> 00:04:57,094
But we weren't taking
any chances.

145
00:04:57,161 --> 00:04:59,062
The fix was in.

146
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:02,232
Trump tower, this is Donald.

147
00:05:02,299 --> 00:05:03,800
Well, he can deep-fry
the hell out of chicken.

148
00:05:03,867 --> 00:05:05,134
I can tell you that.

149
00:05:05,202 --> 00:05:06,602
Troy even applied
for the same job

150
00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:07,803
And gave the world's
worst interview

151
00:05:07,871 --> 00:05:09,838
Just to make me look better

152
00:05:09,906 --> 00:05:11,273
And that was that.

153
00:05:11,341 --> 00:05:13,442
This was the glorious time.

154
00:05:13,509 --> 00:05:15,043
No more racing
to the cafeteria.

155
00:05:15,110 --> 00:05:16,344
No more lines.

156
00:05:16,412 --> 00:05:17,745
To us, lines were for suckers,

157
00:05:17,813 --> 00:05:19,513
Hacks, sheep.

158
00:05:19,581 --> 00:05:21,748
We were wolves.

159
00:05:21,816 --> 00:05:25,452
And we had the chicken
to prove it.

160
00:05:25,519 --> 00:05:26,953
- Oh.
- Ooh.

161
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:28,354
To victory.

162
00:05:28,422 --> 00:05:29,922
It feels unfamiliar,

163
00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:31,423
But it tastes like chicken.

164
00:05:31,491 --> 00:05:34,960
Mm-hmm.

165
00:05:35,027 --> 00:05:36,361
Hi.

166
00:05:36,429 --> 00:05:38,330
- Hello.
- You guys are lucky.

167
00:05:38,398 --> 00:05:39,364
They're always running out.

168
00:05:39,432 --> 00:05:40,999
Would you like one?

169
00:05:41,067 --> 00:05:43,969
Name's Shirley.
Memorize it.

170
00:05:44,037 --> 00:05:45,470
I will, Shirley.

171
00:05:45,538 --> 00:05:46,471
Eee!

172
00:05:46,539 --> 00:05:47,606
See that, girls?

173
00:05:47,674 --> 00:05:49,808
The universe goes
by supply and demand.

174
00:05:49,875 --> 00:05:52,777
The more you take and use,
the more it sends.

175
00:05:52,845 --> 00:05:54,145
Somebody's been taking
a little extra.

176
00:05:54,213 --> 00:05:55,280
What's in that container?

177
00:05:55,348 --> 00:05:56,348
- Eight fingers.
- Abed.

178
00:05:56,415 --> 00:05:59,517
Abed's study group.

179
00:05:59,585 --> 00:06:01,085
Why are you giving
Chang chicken?

180
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:02,219
We have an agreement.

181
00:06:02,287 --> 00:06:03,520
But, Abed,
if you get caught skimming,

182
00:06:03,588 --> 00:06:05,789
You get fired and we all go back
to eating like britta.

183
00:06:05,857 --> 00:06:08,124
Yeah, we put you in that job.

184
00:06:08,192 --> 00:06:10,893
I dressed like a crazy pharaoh
for you, man.

185
00:06:10,961 --> 00:06:13,028
You make the fingers, Abed,
not the decisions.

186
00:06:13,096 --> 00:06:14,029
I'm sorry.

187
00:06:14,096 --> 00:06:15,430
It's okay, buddy.

188
00:06:15,498 --> 00:06:17,632
But just remember
these things have power.

189
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:18,867
So just let me know next time

190
00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:21,336
You have any more agreements,
all right?

191
00:06:21,404 --> 00:06:23,472
Yeah, I agreed to give Cheng
eight fingers per lunch

192
00:06:23,540 --> 00:06:25,474
In exchange for a 10% bump
on every Spanish test

193
00:06:25,542 --> 00:06:26,742
For each of us.

194
00:06:26,810 --> 00:06:29,245
- Oh!
- Okay.

195
00:06:29,313 --> 00:06:30,847
Abed makes the fingers
and the decisions.

196
00:06:30,915 --> 00:06:32,382
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

197
00:06:35,954 --> 00:06:37,755
Oh, Abed, you're like the best.

198
00:06:40,927 --> 00:06:41,927
At greendale, they were always
out of chicken fingers,

199
00:06:41,995 --> 00:06:43,895
So whoever could get
them had power.

200
00:06:43,963 --> 00:06:45,430
Oh.

201
00:06:45,498 --> 00:06:46,564
And I was the guy in the apron,

202
00:06:46,632 --> 00:06:48,066
So I came up with a system
and pretty soon

203
00:06:48,134 --> 00:06:49,234
Half the chicken at greendale

204
00:06:49,302 --> 00:06:51,970
Was going out the side door.

205
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:53,771
Everybody in our crew
had a job.

206
00:06:53,838 --> 00:06:55,405
T-bone was the bag man.

207
00:06:55,473 --> 00:06:57,007
He'd move the fingers
to a storeroom

208
00:06:57,075 --> 00:06:58,808
Where two of the girls
did the packaging.

209
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:00,944
We could trust them not
to eat the supply

210
00:07:01,012 --> 00:07:02,279
Because britta was a vegetarian

211
00:07:02,346 --> 00:07:03,980
And Shirley figured
that if she stole,

212
00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:05,882
She'd go to hell.

213
00:07:05,949 --> 00:07:07,783
They'd hand the stuff
out the window to Annie.

214
00:07:07,851 --> 00:07:10,151
She was the leg man
and distributor.

215
00:07:10,219 --> 00:07:14,088
The crazy thing
was it was their food

216
00:07:14,155 --> 00:07:16,223
And we were stealing it and
giving it back to them

217
00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:18,557
Like it was a big favor.

218
00:07:18,625 --> 00:07:21,293
Nobody asked any questions
because Pierce's experience

219
00:07:21,361 --> 00:07:22,860
As a ceo had taught him how

220
00:07:22,928 --> 00:07:24,596
To keep the wheels
from squeaking.

221
00:07:24,663 --> 00:07:26,164
I had it all worked out
on a schedule.

222
00:07:26,232 --> 00:07:28,265
You know, I've never been
fired from a job

223
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,267
And this is, like,
my perfect job.

224
00:07:30,334 --> 00:07:31,834
I'm Mr. Chicken fingers.

225
00:07:31,902 --> 00:07:33,703
The minute before
you thought about busting us,

226
00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:36,472
That was the minute you
had a chicken in your hand.

227
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,240
Everyone had their hand out.

228
00:07:38,308 --> 00:07:40,876
Everyone wanted what we had.
Oh! Oh, well.

229
00:07:40,943 --> 00:07:42,978
So we had anything we wanted.

230
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,745
And Jeff had the most
important job of all.

231
00:07:44,813 --> 00:07:45,946
He was at the top.

232
00:07:46,014 --> 00:07:47,381
He was the boss.

233
00:07:47,448 --> 00:07:48,982
He was our leader.

234
00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:50,884
What the hell is going on?

235
00:07:50,951 --> 00:07:52,719
A-v kids hooked it up.

236
00:07:52,786 --> 00:07:54,087
Abed supplied
the whole department

237
00:07:54,154 --> 00:07:55,153
With chicken fingers.

238
00:07:55,221 --> 00:07:56,320
You think that's good,

239
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,221
Check out my posse
and Troy's monkey.

240
00:07:58,289 --> 00:08:00,856
Troy, why do you have a monkey?

241
00:08:00,924 --> 00:08:02,758
Uh, it's an animal
that looks like a dude.

242
00:08:02,826 --> 00:08:04,326
Why don't I have ten of them?

243
00:08:04,394 --> 00:08:07,996
Guys, look what Abed
scored for me.

244
00:08:08,064 --> 00:08:09,131
Ooh.

245
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:10,464
It has a million zippers

246
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:11,765
And it was free.

247
00:08:15,770 --> 00:08:17,237
- Oh.
- Ooh, robot.

248
00:08:17,304 --> 00:08:18,771
I am a robot.

249
00:08:18,839 --> 00:08:21,307
I am programmed
to love this backpack.

250
00:08:21,374 --> 00:08:22,374
This is insane.

251
00:08:22,441 --> 00:08:23,942
More insane
than programming them

252
00:08:24,009 --> 00:08:25,677
To replace auto workers?

253
00:08:25,745 --> 00:08:27,411
What?

254
00:08:27,479 --> 00:08:31,248
Okay, okay, if you're not
in this study group, please.

255
00:08:31,315 --> 00:08:32,515
No, no.

256
00:08:32,582 --> 00:08:34,150
That means you,
sexy dreadlocks,

257
00:08:34,217 --> 00:08:35,684
Britta's hairdresser...
What?

258
00:08:35,752 --> 00:08:37,552
Pierce's hackneyed entourage.

259
00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:39,153
Hackneyed?

260
00:08:39,221 --> 00:08:40,254
You see the turban guy?

261
00:08:40,322 --> 00:08:41,956
Yes, in a '90s ski movie

262
00:08:42,024 --> 00:08:44,125
That featured an entourage.

263
00:08:44,192 --> 00:08:45,826
Don't you guys think this
is getting out of hand?

264
00:08:45,894 --> 00:08:47,027
Oh, we're not gonna get caught.

265
00:08:47,095 --> 00:08:48,595
We have campus security
on the take.

266
00:08:48,663 --> 00:08:50,030
Abed's got it all figured out.

267
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:52,165
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, that's a relief.

268
00:08:52,233 --> 00:08:53,700
Yeah, it's pretty cool
being friends

269
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,468
With the biggest man on campus.

270
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:56,770
Isn't that right,
Annie's boobs?

271
00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,506
Please rename that thing!

272
00:08:59,574 --> 00:09:01,541
And this time, not with
a contest on Twitter.

273
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:02,709
It's his Twitter account.

274
00:09:02,777 --> 00:09:03,977
He can do what he wants.

275
00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:05,379
They are my body parts!

276
00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:06,480
I do not consent to this!

277
00:09:06,548 --> 00:09:08,215
You know what
I don't appreciate?

278
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:12,553
You wouldn't threaten a monkey.

279
00:09:12,621 --> 00:09:15,524
They have more
lactic acid than us.

280
00:09:15,591 --> 00:09:17,258
Shared my chicken with him.

281
00:09:17,326 --> 00:09:18,392
- Talk to the backpack.
- I told you!

282
00:09:18,460 --> 00:09:19,694
You're the worst, Annie.

283
00:09:19,762 --> 00:09:21,162
Streets ahead!

284
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:30,971
Line starts behind you.

285
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,739
Oh, he's cool.

286
00:09:32,807 --> 00:09:35,007
Six fingers every Wednesday.

287
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,508
Cool.
And what can you offer?

288
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,779
I have a bicycle
and I teach beginner's tennis.

289
00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,214
Cool.
Okay.

290
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,416
Six fingers wednesdays.

291
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,317
All right.

292
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,685
We'll be in touch, janel.

293
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,789
- Thank you, Abed.
- You're welcome.

294
00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,758
Hey, Jeff.
Hey, buddy.

295
00:09:51,826 --> 00:09:53,260
It's quite a setup
you got here.

296
00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:55,895
I'm pretty excited about it.

297
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,330
It turns out everyone has needs

298
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,298
And everyone has functions.

299
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,333
Look, um, I've been thinking

300
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,202
Maybe I need to hit
the big red button

301
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,871
And bring an end
to this operation.

302
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:09,074
I mean, it's been fun,
but it's out of control now.

303
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,775
Am I right?
I don't know.

304
00:10:10,843 --> 00:10:12,710
The entire campus
is controlled by our group,

305
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:14,178
Our group is controlled
by chicken,

306
00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:16,647
And the chicken
is controlled by me.

307
00:10:16,715 --> 00:10:17,682
Float?

308
00:10:17,749 --> 00:10:19,017
I'm good.

309
00:10:19,084 --> 00:10:21,487
Abed, the mafia movie is over.

310
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,122
I'm not doing a mafia movie.

311
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,724
In fact, I don't need
to use movies

312
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,626
Or tv shows to talk
to people anymore.

313
00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,528
Before, I only needed them
because the day-to-day world

314
00:10:28,596 --> 00:10:30,130
Made no sense to me, but now,

315
00:10:30,198 --> 00:10:31,631
Everyone's speaking
the same language.

316
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:32,900
Chicken.

317
00:10:32,967 --> 00:10:34,869
I understand people
and they finally understand me.

318
00:10:34,936 --> 00:10:37,438
Abed, eventually people are
gonna get tired of chicken.

319
00:10:37,505 --> 00:10:38,505
I'm tired of chicken.

320
00:10:38,573 --> 00:10:39,573
You're not tired of chicken.

321
00:10:39,641 --> 00:10:40,874
You miss the taste of control.

322
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,143
Well, that's crazy.

323
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:47,046
Is it?

324
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,950
Unfortunately, the very thing
that drove you

325
00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:53,385
To this dorm room
is what would prevent you

326
00:10:53,452 --> 00:10:54,853
From properly running
this machine

327
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,054
Or even being a cog in it.

328
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,355
Your ego.

329
00:10:57,423 --> 00:11:00,191
Well...

330
00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:01,960
I see.
I see.

331
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:05,598
This has been about me
the whole time.

332
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:09,001
You want a shot
at the Jeff winger throne?

333
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:11,739
You better bring
a powerful ass.

334
00:11:11,807 --> 00:11:14,341
Oh, and for your information,
I don't have an ego.

335
00:11:14,409 --> 00:11:17,211
My facebook photo
is a landscape.

336
00:11:22,318 --> 00:11:25,220
You're the best, Eduardo.

337
00:11:25,288 --> 00:11:26,688
Thank you all for coming.

338
00:11:26,756 --> 00:11:28,023
Can we make this quick?

339
00:11:28,091 --> 00:11:29,958
I need to give a banana
to Annie's boobs.

340
00:11:30,026 --> 00:11:31,727
Abed is drunk
with chicken power.

341
00:11:31,795 --> 00:11:34,730
He's gone from lovable
Johnny five to evil hal.

342
00:11:34,798 --> 00:11:36,398
- Hal holb--
- not hal holbrook.

343
00:11:36,466 --> 00:11:37,433
What are you saying?

344
00:11:37,501 --> 00:11:39,869
You all have
to stop working for him.

345
00:11:39,937 --> 00:11:41,604
Let this operation dry up

346
00:11:41,672 --> 00:11:43,573
And let his wheels spin down.

347
00:11:43,641 --> 00:11:46,477
At which point you would
be in charge again, right?

348
00:11:46,545 --> 00:11:48,379
- What?
- This is so sad.

349
00:11:48,447 --> 00:11:50,916
You're jealous of Abed because
he's providing for us.

350
00:11:50,983 --> 00:11:52,050
Mm-hmm.

351
00:11:52,118 --> 00:11:53,452
No, I'm concerned about Abed

352
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:54,854
Because he won't listen
to reason.

353
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:56,390
<i>Won't listen to your reason.</i>

354
00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:57,491
Mm-hmm.

355
00:11:57,559 --> 00:11:59,293
Why should he?
Jeff's so not...

356
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,228
Say "streets ahead" and die.

357
00:12:01,296 --> 00:12:03,830
Streets ahead.

358
00:12:05,066 --> 00:12:06,099
You want to boss me around?

359
00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:07,100
Get me an entourage.

360
00:12:07,167 --> 00:12:08,300
Get Troy a monkey.

361
00:12:08,368 --> 00:12:09,635
That's what a real boss does.

362
00:12:09,703 --> 00:12:10,903
Yes.

363
00:12:10,971 --> 00:12:11,971
We probably shouldn't
even be talking to him

364
00:12:12,038 --> 00:12:12,971
Without checking with Abed.

365
00:12:13,039 --> 00:12:14,339
I'm already trying him.

366
00:12:14,407 --> 00:12:16,074
He's not picking up.
What did you do with him?

367
00:12:16,142 --> 00:12:17,842
I don't believe
what greedy sellouts

368
00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:19,744
You people turned out to be.

369
00:12:19,811 --> 00:12:21,112
I'm not gonna stand here
and be ignored.

370
00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:22,446
Shh!
Voicemail.

371
00:12:22,514 --> 00:12:23,614
Hey, Abed.

372
00:12:23,682 --> 00:12:25,282
Jeff says you're
not listening to him.

373
00:12:25,350 --> 00:12:27,084
Does that mean we shouldn't
listen to him either?

374
00:12:27,152 --> 00:12:29,519
Oh, also, should
we make special jackets

375
00:12:29,587 --> 00:12:31,121
For our crime family?

376
00:12:31,189 --> 00:12:33,457
Like, blazers with
chicken finger patches.

377
00:12:33,524 --> 00:12:35,292
I don't know.
Long message. I'm sorry.

378
00:12:35,359 --> 00:12:36,626
That's it!

379
00:12:36,694 --> 00:12:37,994
- Ooh!
- Abed!

380
00:12:39,563 --> 00:12:41,363
Look, I'm walking out
this door right now.

381
00:12:41,431 --> 00:12:42,965
- Okay.
- Okay.

382
00:12:43,032 --> 00:12:44,499
- For real.
- Good.

383
00:12:44,567 --> 00:12:46,634
- I'm not gonna look back.
- Mm-hmm.

384
00:12:46,702 --> 00:12:48,536
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye!

385
00:12:48,604 --> 00:12:49,704
Abed!

386
00:12:49,772 --> 00:12:51,139
- Hi!
- Yes!

387
00:12:51,207 --> 00:12:52,307
Anybody need anything?

388
00:12:52,375 --> 00:12:54,142
Oh, everything.
You look handsome.

389
00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:56,878
I like everything
about you now, Abed.

390
00:12:56,946 --> 00:12:59,380
I want a new hairdresser
though.

391
00:13:20,448 --> 00:13:23,017
Yeah, I got you fired.

392
00:13:23,084 --> 00:13:24,518
You deserved it.

393
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:27,354
Maybe.
Maybe not.

394
00:13:27,422 --> 00:13:31,625
The question is:
What do they deserve?

395
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,566
Key to the kitchen.

396
00:13:38,634 --> 00:13:41,236
There's a valve on the back
of the chicken fryer

397
00:13:41,303 --> 00:13:43,204
That's not made anymore.

398
00:13:43,272 --> 00:13:46,641
Now, say someone were
to remove it.

399
00:13:46,709 --> 00:13:50,112
The fryer wouldn't work...

400
00:13:50,179 --> 00:13:51,913
Forever.

401
00:13:51,981 --> 00:13:55,316
How petty do you think I am?

402
00:13:59,054 --> 00:14:02,022
Jeff leaving the family didn't
turn out to be a problem.

403
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:04,559
Okay, I think we're set
for the quiz.

404
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:05,993
- Yep.
- See you guys in class.

405
00:14:06,061 --> 00:14:07,295
Oh, wait.
Before you go.

406
00:14:07,363 --> 00:14:09,231
- Oh, free notebooks.
- Here.

407
00:14:09,298 --> 00:14:12,768
But the family's success started
to go to their heads.

408
00:14:12,836 --> 00:14:14,403
They didn't have college ruled?

409
00:14:14,471 --> 00:14:15,571
No, sorry.

410
00:14:15,639 --> 00:14:17,640
It's okay.

411
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:24,013
- Abed?
- Yeah?

412
00:14:24,081 --> 00:14:25,214
Can I talk to you for a minute?

413
00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,216
Sure.

414
00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:27,984
We have a situation.

415
00:14:28,052 --> 00:14:29,719
- Hey.
- Who is this?

416
00:14:29,787 --> 00:14:31,154
It's Travis.

417
00:14:31,222 --> 00:14:33,022
You said you wanted someone
in your entourage named Travis.

418
00:14:33,090 --> 00:14:36,192
Show him your license.

419
00:14:36,259 --> 00:14:37,927
Travis is his middle name.

420
00:14:37,995 --> 00:14:39,195
I go by Travis.

421
00:14:39,263 --> 00:14:40,496
No, you go by the door.

422
00:14:40,564 --> 00:14:43,366
See you, Travis.

423
00:14:43,433 --> 00:14:46,970
Get it right next time.

424
00:14:47,038 --> 00:14:48,238
- Abed?
- Yep?

425
00:14:48,306 --> 00:14:50,307
No, no, no, no.

426
00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:56,146
My monkey hates this caviar.

427
00:14:56,214 --> 00:14:57,414
Troy, isn't that--

428
00:14:57,481 --> 00:15:00,584
They were spoiled, fat, lazy.

429
00:15:00,652 --> 00:15:02,252
I'd given them everything
and somehow

430
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,221
I'd lost their respect.

431
00:15:04,289 --> 00:15:06,090
So I did the only thing
I could think of.

432
00:15:06,157 --> 00:15:07,891
I did what I thought Jeff
would do.

433
00:15:07,959 --> 00:15:10,461
I sent them a message.

434
00:15:21,072 --> 00:15:22,372
What is that?

435
00:15:22,439 --> 00:15:24,641
I think it might be a backpack

436
00:15:24,708 --> 00:15:27,343
That's been mutilated.

437
00:16:05,281 --> 00:16:07,749
These were the bad times.

438
00:16:11,787 --> 00:16:13,021
- There he is.
- Jeff.

439
00:16:13,088 --> 00:16:14,322
- Jeff!
- Jeff!

440
00:16:14,389 --> 00:16:15,456
- Jeff!
- Jeff!

441
00:16:15,524 --> 00:16:16,957
Abed killed my backpack.

442
00:16:17,025 --> 00:16:18,358
And I caught him
stuffing my man

443
00:16:18,426 --> 00:16:20,293
Full of chicken and Tyler Perry
has a whole series of movies

444
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,527
About why that's wrong.

445
00:16:21,595 --> 00:16:23,396
That little arab
is off his rocker.

446
00:16:23,464 --> 00:16:24,865
He released Annie's boobs.

447
00:16:24,932 --> 00:16:26,266
Annie's boobs could
be anywhere.

448
00:16:26,334 --> 00:16:27,501
Annie's boobs could be
on the side of the road.

449
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:28,769
We got it.

450
00:16:28,837 --> 00:16:29,837
The monkey's name
is "annie's boobs."

451
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:32,006
Look what Abed did to my hair.

452
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,509
I feel terrible for all of you.

453
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,645
Wait, no, I don't,
because I warned you

454
00:16:36,713 --> 00:16:38,480
About all this,
but you were so high

455
00:16:38,548 --> 00:16:40,182
On your backpacks
and hairstyles

456
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,250
You accused me
of being jealous.

457
00:16:42,318 --> 00:16:44,052
You were right.
But what can we do?

458
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,855
I'm sorry, you brushed over
that first part.

459
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:49,491
Together.

460
00:16:49,559 --> 00:16:51,593
You were right.

461
00:16:51,661 --> 00:16:52,894
Now what you can do is go home

462
00:16:52,962 --> 00:16:55,029
And write that
on your bathroom mirror.

463
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,864
Wouldn't that make it seem
like I was right?

464
00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,900
Yeah, because it would be
my mirror.

465
00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:00,902
It's not gonna be reversed
because you're the one who--

466
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:09,177
As for Abed, for his sake

467
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,680
I guess I'll have
to take him out.

468
00:17:11,748 --> 00:17:12,882
Poor little guy.

469
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:15,118
Oh, good.
That's nice.

470
00:17:33,271 --> 00:17:35,772
Abed.

471
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,107
What are you doing?

472
00:17:37,174 --> 00:17:39,475
Making tater tots.

473
00:17:39,543 --> 00:17:41,744
You were right,
people got sick of chicken.

474
00:17:41,812 --> 00:17:42,779
But I was close.

475
00:17:42,847 --> 00:17:44,448
I just need a new food,
a new system.

476
00:17:44,515 --> 00:17:46,249
I'm gonna experiment
with jalapeno poppers next

477
00:17:46,317 --> 00:17:48,085
And then zucchini zircles.
I don't get it.

478
00:17:48,152 --> 00:17:49,487
It's not that complicated,
Jeff.

479
00:17:49,554 --> 00:17:50,922
They replaced the "c" in circle
with a "z" for zucchini.

480
00:17:50,989 --> 00:17:53,124
No, no, I mean,
why are you here?

481
00:17:53,192 --> 00:17:55,527
You said you were close?

482
00:17:57,997 --> 00:18:00,099
What were you close to?

483
00:18:01,868 --> 00:18:04,837
To the group?

484
00:18:04,904 --> 00:18:06,172
To people?

485
00:18:06,239 --> 00:18:07,839
Please don't do
a special episode about me.

486
00:18:07,907 --> 00:18:09,274
Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.

487
00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:13,677
Everyone else needs my help.

488
00:18:13,745 --> 00:18:15,179
That's what people don't get,

489
00:18:15,246 --> 00:18:18,949
Is that they need to get me.

490
00:18:19,017 --> 00:18:20,984
I just need to be able to
connect to people like you can,

491
00:18:21,051 --> 00:18:22,519
And then I can
make everyone happy

492
00:18:22,586 --> 00:18:25,589
Like you do.

493
00:18:27,726 --> 00:18:29,288
Do you know why I'm here?

494
00:18:29,356 --> 00:18:31,088
You got caught
with a fake bachelor's degree.

495
00:18:31,155 --> 00:18:32,422
By the way,
they started using that

496
00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:33,756
<i>As a seasonal arc on
law & order.</i>

497
00:18:33,824 --> 00:18:35,591
Total rip off.

498
00:18:35,659 --> 00:18:38,627
I'm here to dismantle
the fryer,

499
00:18:38,695 --> 00:18:42,765
To cut your power off
at its source.

500
00:18:42,832 --> 00:18:44,267
Don't you see what happened?

501
00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:45,601
I manipulated the group

502
00:18:45,669 --> 00:18:47,035
Into getting you
the fry cook job

503
00:18:47,103 --> 00:18:49,471
So I could have some chicken.

504
00:18:49,539 --> 00:18:52,641
And you turned it all into
a way to make everyone like you.

505
00:18:52,709 --> 00:18:53,843
Mm-hmm.

506
00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:56,212
Made me ashamed of myself.

507
00:18:56,279 --> 00:18:57,680
Made me jealous.

508
00:18:57,748 --> 00:18:59,348
Maybe this is
a special episode.

509
00:18:59,416 --> 00:19:00,949
It's pretty alarming behavior,
Jeff.

510
00:19:01,017 --> 00:19:02,283
Yeah.

511
00:19:02,351 --> 00:19:03,718
You know, there's specialists
you could talk to.

512
00:19:03,786 --> 00:19:05,186
Yeah, maybe I should do that.

513
00:19:05,254 --> 00:19:06,321
Mm-hmm.

514
00:19:06,388 --> 00:19:07,689
- In the meantime...
- Mm-hmm?

515
00:19:07,756 --> 00:19:08,856
Let's make a deal.

516
00:19:08,924 --> 00:19:11,258
I'll help you
connect with people,

517
00:19:11,325 --> 00:19:13,326
And you help me
do a better job with them.

518
00:19:13,394 --> 00:19:15,061
<i>Like knight rider.</i>

519
00:19:15,129 --> 00:19:16,662
<i>Exactly.
Like knight rider.</i>

520
00:19:16,730 --> 00:19:17,930
Deal.

521
00:19:17,998 --> 00:19:19,098
I'll put on a leather jacket

522
00:19:19,165 --> 00:19:20,399
And make out
with an aerobics instructor.

523
00:19:20,467 --> 00:19:21,900
You pull around front
and comedically

524
00:19:21,968 --> 00:19:24,169
Startle passersby
with your ability to talk.

525
00:19:24,237 --> 00:19:25,671
Maybe we should just stay here

526
00:19:25,738 --> 00:19:27,339
And have a plate
of chicken fingers.

527
00:19:27,407 --> 00:19:29,108
Cool.

528
00:19:29,176 --> 00:19:30,743
Can we eat them
while sitting on a table

529
00:19:30,811 --> 00:19:31,844
<i>Like in sixteen candles?</i>

530
00:19:31,912 --> 00:19:33,345
Pick one reference, Abed.

531
00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:35,081
<i>Sixteen candles.</i>

532
00:19:35,148 --> 00:19:37,851
And just like that,
the mafia movie was over.

533
00:19:37,918 --> 00:19:39,452
I quit the fry cook job,

534
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,554
Somewhat for the sake
of the family,

535
00:19:41,622 --> 00:19:44,290
But mostly for the sake
of Jeff's ego.

536
00:19:44,358 --> 00:19:45,724
Poor guy.

537
00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:47,392
Things went back to normal.

538
00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:50,228
Now everyone's back to being
a bunch of regular schnooks,

539
00:19:50,296 --> 00:19:52,630
And I'm back to being a weirdo,

540
00:19:52,698 --> 00:19:55,233
Back to watching
from the outside...

541
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:56,734
For now.

542
00:19:56,802 --> 00:19:58,336
There's still
not enough chicken fingers.

543
00:19:58,403 --> 00:20:01,005
- No way.
- What?

544
00:20:01,073 --> 00:20:02,540
'cause as soon
as our family moved out,

545
00:20:02,608 --> 00:20:04,909
A new syndicate moved in
to take its place.

546
00:20:04,977 --> 00:20:07,612
But you know what they'll
never make a replacement for?

547
00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:12,050
Friends.

548
00:20:12,118 --> 00:20:14,587
Okay, thank you.
That's great, Abed.

549
00:20:14,655 --> 00:20:17,056
But could you just
answer the question?

550
00:20:17,124 --> 00:20:18,559
What was it?

551
00:20:18,626 --> 00:20:20,060
Do you know
who might have stolen

552
00:20:20,128 --> 00:20:21,728
A box of hairnets
from the kitchen?

553
00:20:21,796 --> 00:20:23,263
Someone with hair.

554
00:20:23,331 --> 00:20:25,999
I'm gonna write that down.

555
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:34,598
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