1
00:00:01,555 --> 00:00:04,330
<i>So here's what's happend on Glee
Finn got Kurt to try out</i>

2
00:00:04,331 --> 00:00:06,609
<i>for the football team, which was super cool,
but sometimes</i>

3
00:00:06,610 --> 00:00:08,045
<i>it seems like maybe Kurt's sort
of got a crush on him.</i>

4
00:00:08,046 --> 00:00:10,583
It's enough to want to
give up women all together.

5
00:00:10,584 --> 00:00:12,255
<i>Will's old crush, April,
joined the Glee Club,</i>

6
00:00:12,256 --> 00:00:14,460
<i>but she was drunk all the time,
so Will kicked her out.</i>

7
00:00:14,461 --> 00:00:16,297
<i>Also, Sue convinced Kurt and
Mercedes that they should join</i>

8
00:00:16,298 --> 00:00:18,535
<i>the Cheerios!, which Will was none too happy
about.</i>

9
00:00:18,536 --> 00:00:21,566
<i>And that's what you missed on...
# Glee! #</i>

10
00:00:24,752 --> 00:00:28,091
Ladies, what we have here
is a grade-A dilemma.

11
00:00:28,092 --> 00:00:29,962
Mercedes, your vocal chords

12
00:00:30,632 --> 00:00:33,069
have had more fantastic runs
than a Kenyan track team,

13
00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:35,441
but that look simply will not do.

14
00:00:35,442 --> 00:00:36,977
At first, I thought it was

15
00:00:36,978 --> 00:00:38,414
a subtle homage to yours truly,

16
00:00:38,415 --> 00:00:40,551
but now I fear it's some
sort of ironic comment.

17
00:00:40,552 --> 00:00:42,989
Ms. Sylvester, I'm just not comfortable

18
00:00:42,990 --> 00:00:44,459
in those Cheerios! skirts.

19
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:45,962
They don't fit me right.

20
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,999
Mercedes, you shouldn't feel
embarrassed about your body.

21
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:48,820
Embarrassed?

22
00:00:49,537 --> 00:00:51,739
No, no. I'm worried about
showing too much skin

23
00:00:51,740 --> 00:00:53,420
and causing a sex riot.

24
00:00:56,717 --> 00:00:58,819
How do you two not have a show on Bravo?

25
00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:01,390
<i>Here's the skinny: Splitts! magazine,</i>

26
00:01:02,293 --> 00:01:04,696
after much campaigning by one Sue Sylvester,

27
00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:08,637
has named me #Cheerleading Coach
of the Last Two Thousand Years.#

28
00:01:08,638 --> 00:01:10,006
In seven days, reporter Tracey Pendergrass

29
00:01:10,007 --> 00:01:11,577
will arrive on campus,

30
00:01:12,010 --> 00:01:14,647
and my new star singer
will have lost ten pounds,

31
00:01:14,648 --> 00:01:16,784
and be in a gende
r-appropriate cheerleading uniform,

32
00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,515
or she is off the team.

33
00:01:20,257 --> 00:01:21,067
Ten pounds?

34
00:01:22,295 --> 00:01:23,696
Are you serious? You could stand

35
00:01:23,697 --> 00:01:25,199
to lose a few, too, kiddo.

36
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,050
You got hips like a pear.

37
00:01:28,272 --> 00:01:30,241
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have

38
00:01:30,242 --> 00:01:32,077
to put in a call to the
Ohio Secretary of State,

39
00:01:32,078 --> 00:01:35,249
notifying them I will no
longer be carrying photo I.D.

40
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:36,230
You know why?

41
00:01:37,420 --> 00:01:39,450
People should know who I am.

42
00:01:40,258 --> 00:01:43,163
<i>Sync By YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
www.isubs.coil.us.to</i>

43
00:01:43,164 --> 00:01:44,724
Sue! We need to talk.

44
00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:47,197
The auditorium is padlocked!

45
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:48,371
Well, that's curious.

46
00:01:48,372 --> 00:01:51,474
- Did you check the sign-up sheet?
- What sign-up sheet?

47
00:01:51,475 --> 00:01:53,510
Why, the one I keep right
here in my waistband,

48
00:01:53,511 --> 00:01:54,901
William. Let's see.

49
00:01:55,414 --> 00:01:58,554
Yeah, I've got the entire week booked solid.

50
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,372
Got a big magazine feature coming up.

51
00:02:01,523 --> 00:02:03,992
It's a little chilly for my
girls to be practicing outdoors.

52
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:06,930
Yeah? Well, let's see what
Figgins has to say about this.

53
00:02:06,931 --> 00:02:08,966
Oh, I'm sure Figgins will just
mumble something nervously

54
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:10,602
and then pretend to take a phone call.

55
00:02:10,603 --> 00:02:12,805
I happen to be blackmailing him.

56
00:02:12,806 --> 00:02:14,908
<i>Um, all right, I have one
final announcement</i>

57
00:02:14,909 --> 00:02:16,359
before we all leave.

58
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:20,083
We can't use the auditorium
for the next week.

59
00:02:20,084 --> 00:02:22,152
But that's garbage.
How are we supposed to practice

60
00:02:22,153 --> 00:02:23,321
for Regionals without the auditorium?

61
00:02:23,322 --> 00:02:25,223
The Cheerios! need it to practice in.

62
00:02:25,224 --> 00:02:26,926
There's nothing I can do.

63
00:02:26,927 --> 00:02:28,487
I recommend a sit-in.

64
00:02:29,130 --> 00:02:30,632
I recommend we torch the place.

65
00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:33,269
No. Look, we've all faced adversity before,

66
00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:35,105
and we've come out stronger on the other end.

67
00:02:35,106 --> 00:02:37,008
I'm going to check out a few of
f-site locations for us

68
00:02:37,009 --> 00:02:38,919
to use, just for the week.

69
00:02:39,145 --> 00:02:41,685
I promise I'll find us a new home.

70
00:02:42,584 --> 00:02:44,034
Have good day, guys.

71
00:02:45,754 --> 00:02:48,356
Oh, Finn, I wanted your opinion on this.

72
00:02:48,357 --> 00:02:49,524
It's a swatch board.

73
00:02:49,525 --> 00:02:51,058
I'm redecorating my bedroom.

74
00:02:51,059 --> 00:02:52,826
Kind of going for a hunting lodge

75
00:02:52,827 --> 00:02:54,526
meets Tom Ford's place in Bel Air.

76
00:02:54,527 --> 00:02:56,460
I was hoping you could help me out

77
00:02:56,461 --> 00:02:57,694
with the hunting lodge part.

78
00:02:57,695 --> 00:02:59,135
I live in a closet.

79
00:02:59,997 --> 00:03:01,997
There's cowboy wallpaper on the walls.

80
00:03:01,998 --> 00:03:02,398
Oh...

81
00:03:03,432 --> 00:03:05,512
But I guess that one's nice.

82
00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:06,126
Toile?

83
00:03:07,034 --> 00:03:10,004
I always pegged you as a chinoiserie type.

84
00:03:15,912 --> 00:03:16,672
Mercedes...

85
00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:18,340
This is healthy!

86
00:03:18,581 --> 00:03:20,681
Chicken breast and a salad,
dressing on the side.

87
00:03:20,682 --> 00:03:22,549
You have a week to lose ten pounds.

88
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,884
That's like having to lose
one of my butt cheeks.

89
00:03:24,885 --> 00:03:26,885
Look at what I'm eating-- peeled celery.

90
00:03:26,886 --> 00:03:28,519
And for breakfast, I had Splenda.

91
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,654
Look, Mercedes, now that we're cheerleaders,

92
00:03:30,655 --> 00:03:32,156
we're finally part of the in crowd.

93
00:03:32,157 --> 00:03:33,791
We have a place at the table.

94
00:03:33,792 --> 00:03:36,027
We don't have to beg undneath
for scraps of attention.

95
00:03:36,028 --> 00:03:37,408
Don't screw it up.

96
00:03:38,496 --> 00:03:40,764
I'm pretty sure my cat's
been reading my diary.

97
00:03:40,765 --> 00:03:43,265
Hey, guys. Can I ask you something?

98
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:45,601
How do you manage to stay so skinny?

99
00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:47,882
The Sue Sylvester Master Cleanse.

100
00:03:48,137 --> 00:03:50,138
Water, maple syrup for glucose,

101
00:03:50,139 --> 00:03:52,773
lemon for acid, cayenne
pepper to irritate the bowels,

102
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,564
and a dash of ipecac, a vomiting agent.

103
00:03:56,477 --> 00:03:59,257
I haven't had a solid meal since 1987.

104
00:03:59,981 --> 00:04:02,481
Sometimes I add a teaspoon of sand.

105
00:04:03,017 --> 00:04:04,751
That can't be healthy. Who cares?

106
00:04:04,752 --> 00:04:06,753
You can either feel terrible and look great,

107
00:04:06,754 --> 00:04:10,774
or get kicked off the team
when that reporter gets here.

108
00:04:27,669 --> 00:04:29,229
Why are you so upset?

109
00:04:30,572 --> 00:04:31,952
It's not your bed.

110
00:04:32,173 --> 00:04:34,140
Don't you have any feelings about it?

111
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,641
It's your and dad's honeymoon set.

112
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:37,076
I was conceived in that bed.

113
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,877
You were conceived on a pinball machine.

114
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:42,770
Well... I think that's everything.

115
00:04:43,782 --> 00:04:45,416
You mentioned something about the recliner?

116
00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:46,107
Oh, yeah.

117
00:04:46,751 --> 00:04:49,319
It doesn't look like much,
but the parts all work.

118
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,154
Ooh, my wife would love this.

119
00:04:51,155 --> 00:04:51,795
Sciatica.

120
00:04:52,456 --> 00:04:53,086
Mom, no!

121
00:04:54,591 --> 00:04:55,971
It's not for sale.

122
00:04:58,828 --> 00:05:00,328
This is Dad's chair.

123
00:05:04,334 --> 00:05:07,069
This is the only picture of the two of us.

124
00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:08,571
It's the only picture there will

125
00:05:08,572 --> 00:05:11,240
ever be of the two of us,
and he's sitting in this chair.

126
00:05:11,241 --> 00:05:13,781
It's a chair, honey. It's not him.

127
00:05:13,977 --> 00:05:15,577
What's going on with you?

128
00:05:15,578 --> 00:05:17,813
You're selling all our old stuff,

129
00:05:17,814 --> 00:05:20,434
you got new clothes, a new haircut...

130
00:05:20,649 --> 00:05:22,449
I'm seeing someone, Finn. Um...

131
00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:24,000
I think I'm in love.

132
00:05:25,019 --> 00:05:25,819
Who is it?

133
00:05:27,021 --> 00:05:28,401
Uh, do I know him?

134
00:05:28,655 --> 00:05:30,323
It's your friend Kurt's father--

135
00:05:30,324 --> 00:05:31,194
Burt Hummel.

136
00:05:36,730 --> 00:05:39,964
Hey. I'd like to talk to someone
about renting out this space.

137
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:42,175
Okay, fellas, grab a gal, or...

138
00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:46,229
grab another fella if that's
the way the Good Lord made ya!

139
00:05:46,230 --> 00:05:48,260
'Cause it's a couples skate!

140
00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:50,838
No way.

141
00:05:51,904 --> 00:05:52,134
♪ ♪

142
00:05:53,372 --> 00:05:54,939
Well, as I live and breathe!

143
00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:56,050
Will Schuester?!

144
00:05:57,075 --> 00:05:58,542
I just had a sex dream

145
00:05:58,543 --> 00:06:00,863
about you! Aw, isn't he smokin'?

146
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,712
April. April, please stop
speaking into the mic.

147
00:06:02,713 --> 00:06:04,523
Wait... I smell something.

148
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:05,515
What?

149
00:06:06,216 --> 00:06:08,596
I smell a duet coming on! #Fire!#

150
00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:10,552
Springsteen! Hit it!

151
00:06:13,422 --> 00:06:15,190
April, what is going on here?

152
00:06:15,191 --> 00:06:16,524
You own this place?

153
00:06:16,525 --> 00:06:18,435
♪ I'm ridin' in your car ♪

154
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:22,330
♪ You turn on the radio ♪

155
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,320
♪ You're pullin' me close ♪

156
00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:30,704
♪ I just say no ♪

157
00:06:33,705 --> 00:06:35,605
♪ I say I don't like it ♪

158
00:06:37,408 --> 00:06:39,428
♪ But you know I'm a liar ♪

159
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,074
♪ 'Cause when we kiss ♪

160
00:06:44,847 --> 00:06:45,897
♪ Ooh... fire ♪

161
00:06:49,150 --> 00:06:50,370
♪ Late at night ♪

162
00:06:52,821 --> 00:06:53,341
♪ Ooh ♪

163
00:06:54,389 --> 00:06:56,189
♪ You're takin' me home ♪

164
00:06:57,391 --> 00:06:59,251
♪ You say you wanna stay ♪

165
00:07:00,061 --> 00:07:01,221
♪ I wanna stay ♪

166
00:07:01,929 --> 00:07:02,619
♪ I say ♪

167
00:07:03,164 --> 00:07:04,614
♪ I wanna be alone ♪

168
00:07:05,565 --> 00:07:07,525
♪ I say I don't love you ♪

169
00:07:09,568 --> 00:07:11,588
♪ But you know I'm a liar ♪

170
00:07:13,871 --> 00:07:15,501
♪ 'Cause when we kiss ♪

171
00:07:17,341 --> 00:07:18,271
♪ Ooh, fire ♪

172
00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:22,579
♪ Romeo and Juliet ♪

173
00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:27,103
♪ Samson and Delilah ♪

174
00:07:30,254 --> 00:07:32,054
♪ Oh, baby, you can bet ♪

175
00:07:34,356 --> 00:07:36,446
♪ A love they couldn't deny ♪

176
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,805
♪ My words, they say split ♪

177
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:41,641
♪ Yeah ♪

178
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,769
♪ But my words may lie ♪

179
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:46,141
♪ May lie ♪

180
00:07:47,432 --> 00:07:49,062
♪ 'Cause when we kiss ♪

181
00:07:49,733 --> 00:07:50,723
♪ Ooh, fire. ♪

182
00:07:54,103 --> 00:07:55,336
April, what happened?

183
00:07:55,337 --> 00:07:57,137
I mean, last time I saw you,

184
00:07:57,138 --> 00:07:59,272
you were getting cleaned up,
headed off to Branson.

185
00:07:59,273 --> 00:08:01,183
I know. It's crazy, right?

186
00:08:01,341 --> 00:08:03,374
I was so jazzed about sobering up

187
00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:04,908
and starting a new life,

188
00:08:04,909 --> 00:08:07,243
I had to stop at a bar to get
a drink just to calm down.

189
00:08:07,244 --> 00:08:10,779
Then I hung out at that bar
for a few months or so.

190
00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:13,882
One day, an old codger,
about 75, 80, came in,

191
00:08:13,883 --> 00:08:15,718
and asked to buy me a drink.

192
00:08:15,719 --> 00:08:16,409
Get this.

193
00:08:17,054 --> 00:08:18,164
Buddy Leibowitz.

194
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:22,593
Of Leibowitz Strip Malls?
I'm his new mistress.

195
00:08:22,594 --> 00:08:25,362
April, I really thought you were
serious about getting sober.

196
00:08:25,363 --> 00:08:27,698
No. Don't look so disappointed, Will.

197
00:08:27,699 --> 00:08:29,766
I mean, who are we kidding really?

198
00:08:29,767 --> 00:08:31,768
I'm nothing but a washed-up dreamer.

199
00:08:31,769 --> 00:08:33,489
It's all I'll ever be.

200
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:36,238
Besides, I've finally realized

201
00:08:36,707 --> 00:08:39,507
my lifelong ambition of being a mistress

202
00:08:39,776 --> 00:08:42,545
to an incredibly wealthy strip mall tycoon

203
00:08:42,546 --> 00:08:45,986
and the owner-operator
of a cabaret roller rink.

204
00:08:46,950 --> 00:08:48,640
Um, listen, about that--

205
00:08:49,686 --> 00:08:51,987
well, the Glee Club kind of
needs some rehearsal space.

206
00:08:51,988 --> 00:08:54,328
Sue's commandeered the auditorium.

207
00:08:54,723 --> 00:08:56,923
Are you kidding? Bring 'em here.

208
00:08:56,924 --> 00:08:57,854
Really? Yeah.

209
00:08:58,292 --> 00:08:59,624
Oh, that would be amazing!

210
00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:01,092
And I promise, it's only temporary.

211
00:09:01,093 --> 00:09:02,159
Oh, you're the best.

212
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,526
Listen, uh, I got to run.

213
00:09:03,527 --> 00:09:05,161
I've got an appointment to show my apartment.

214
00:09:05,162 --> 00:09:06,432
What's this, now?

215
00:09:06,562 --> 00:09:09,462
Yeah, so I need to rent out my apartment

216
00:09:10,264 --> 00:09:12,463
and find a smaller place to live.

217
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:12,864
Uh...

218
00:09:13,731 --> 00:09:15,698
because I'm... I'm getting a divorce.

219
00:09:15,699 --> 00:09:16,339
Divorce?!

220
00:09:18,002 --> 00:09:19,732
So you're free to date?

221
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,199
And by date, I mean sleep with people.

222
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,734
And by sleep with,
I mean have sex with people.

223
00:09:24,735 --> 00:09:25,835
People like me.

224
00:09:26,069 --> 00:09:26,649
Kidding.

225
00:09:28,104 --> 00:09:30,314
Not really. But listen to this.

226
00:09:30,405 --> 00:09:31,505
You're looking for a subletter.

227
00:09:31,506 --> 00:09:33,876
I'm looking for a place to stay.

228
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:34,758
One catch.

229
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,477
I'm full-time fancy now, Will.

230
00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:39,212
I'm gonna want to check the place out.

231
00:09:39,213 --> 00:09:40,715
I'm gonna wanna check the #fungshwung,#

232
00:09:40,716 --> 00:09:42,251
or the #fing-fong,# or whatever they call it.

233
00:09:42,252 --> 00:09:43,254
Tell you what.

234
00:09:43,255 --> 00:09:44,491
I'm gonna go get myself

235
00:09:44,492 --> 00:09:45,472
a bikini wax,

236
00:09:45,926 --> 00:09:48,186
and I'm gonna see you tomorrow.

237
00:09:56,002 --> 00:09:57,501
I lost two pounds, Coach.

238
00:09:57,502 --> 00:09:59,832
Well, Becky, you are
assimilating beautifully.

239
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,932
Instead of being different and an outcast,

240
00:10:01,933 --> 00:10:04,667
you're just like every other
teenage girl in America--

241
00:10:04,668 --> 00:10:06,538
sadly obsessed with vanity.

242
00:10:06,836 --> 00:10:08,270
Hey, before you know it, you'll be

243
00:10:08,271 --> 00:10:09,504
leaving little baggies of upchuck

244
00:10:09,505 --> 00:10:11,340
in your parents' linen closet.

245
00:10:11,341 --> 00:10:12,675
Congrats. I'm proud of you, kid.

246
00:10:12,676 --> 00:10:13,976
Thanks, Coach. You betcha.

247
00:10:13,977 --> 00:10:14,377
Next!

248
00:10:19,049 --> 00:10:21,083
Hey, you're still in your track uniform.

249
00:10:21,084 --> 00:10:23,452
Yup, and I'm ready for my midweek weigh-in.

250
00:10:23,453 --> 00:10:26,189
I've been eating very well,
and walking everywhere, and...

251
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,490
Okay, well, climb aboard.

252
00:10:27,491 --> 00:10:30,101
Let's see how many libbies you lost.

253
00:10:31,829 --> 00:10:33,530
Well, look at that, Mercedes.

254
00:10:33,531 --> 00:10:34,933
You've gained two pounds.

255
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,169
What?! That's impossible!

256
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:38,071
Look, I'm gonna break it down for you.

257
00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:40,207
You have four days to lose the weight,

258
00:10:40,208 --> 00:10:42,008
get yourself in a uniform, or you're out.

259
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,442
What am I gonna do?

260
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:44,910
Well, you might try dropping the attitude.

261
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,779
I'm sure there's a pound or two in that.

262
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,880
You know, with the Cheerios!,
we have only one lesson,

263
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:49,815
and it's very simple lesson:

264
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,616
You do whatever it takes.

265
00:10:55,253 --> 00:10:55,653
Next.

266
00:10:57,721 --> 00:10:59,255
Kurt, hey! What-What the hell's

267
00:10:59,256 --> 00:11:00,756
going on with our parents?

268
00:11:00,757 --> 00:11:03,293
How did this happen?
When did they even meet each other?

269
00:11:03,294 --> 00:11:06,262
Parent-Teacher conference night,
about a month ago.

270
00:11:06,263 --> 00:11:08,430
<i>I always accompany my father
to those conferences,</i>

271
00:11:08,431 --> 00:11:09,763
<i>to act as translator.</i>

272
00:11:09,764 --> 00:11:12,131
How do you know this is not organic?

273
00:11:12,132 --> 00:11:14,333
Because you can see the logo.
It's encrusted in the cookie.

274
00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:15,835
<i>Fate brought them together.</i>

275
00:11:15,836 --> 00:11:17,526
Dad, meet Carole Hudson.

276
00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:19,405
Ms. Hudson, my father-- Burt Hummel.

277
00:11:19,406 --> 00:11:21,474
You both have dead spouses,
maybe you should talk.

278
00:11:21,475 --> 00:11:23,009
You know, I was just saying to a friend

279
00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:24,244
that acid wash should make a comeback.

280
00:11:24,245 --> 00:11:25,115
Mmm. Really.

281
00:11:25,713 --> 00:11:27,382
And who said it ever left?

282
00:11:27,383 --> 00:11:29,423
<i>It was an instant connection.</i>

283
00:11:29,986 --> 00:11:31,266
That's impossible.

284
00:11:31,988 --> 00:11:33,355
When will you learn that
nothing is impossible

285
00:11:33,356 --> 00:11:34,857
when it comes to love?

286
00:11:34,858 --> 00:11:37,392
Haven't you noticed anything
different about your mom?

287
00:11:37,393 --> 00:11:39,083
New clothes, new makeup,

288
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,962
a haircut that doesn't look
like it was styled by the Amish?

289
00:11:41,963 --> 00:11:43,663
Who do you think Pretty Woman'ed her up?

290
00:11:43,664 --> 00:11:45,397
Has she started selling the furniture yet?

291
00:11:45,398 --> 00:11:47,265
Yeah, yeah, she just got
rid of her old bedroom set.

292
00:11:47,266 --> 00:11:49,867
And she tried to sell my dad's chair,
but I stopped her.

293
00:11:49,868 --> 00:11:51,635
How did you even know that?

294
00:11:51,636 --> 00:11:54,103
People our parents' age don't
wait around for love to bloom.

295
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:55,671
They know what they want.

296
00:11:55,672 --> 00:11:58,440
I guess you and I will be
roommates with Mom and Dad

297
00:11:58,441 --> 00:11:59,841
cohabitating upstairs by midterms.

298
00:11:59,842 --> 00:12:02,310
No way. Give in to the inevitable, Finn.

299
00:12:02,311 --> 00:12:04,979
I want us to decide how to
redecorate our room together.

300
00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:06,815
That's why I asked you about the swatches.

301
00:12:06,816 --> 00:12:08,216
And don't sweat that old chair.

302
00:12:08,217 --> 00:12:10,118
I have a lovely chaise picked out.

303
00:12:10,119 --> 00:12:12,954
Look-Look, screw yo
u-your swatches and you-your #chez.#

304
00:12:12,955 --> 00:12:14,655
♪Chaise.♪ Whatever, okay.

305
00:12:14,689 --> 00:12:16,290
Look, I-I like my house.

306
00:12:16,291 --> 00:12:20,771
I'm not moving, and she's not
selling that... that damn chair.

307
00:12:22,364 --> 00:12:23,464
A roller rink?!

308
00:12:23,465 --> 00:12:24,832
Weren't those outlawed in, like, 1981,

309
00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:26,463
for being totally lame?

310
00:12:27,334 --> 00:12:29,668
Oh, come on, guys,
where's your sense of adventure?

311
00:12:29,669 --> 00:12:31,735
The space is great and April is giving it

312
00:12:31,736 --> 00:12:33,203
to us to practice in for free.

313
00:12:33,204 --> 00:12:34,644
Mr. Shue, if I may?

314
00:12:38,441 --> 00:12:42,409
New Directions! is clearly a
club with a dearth of direction.

315
00:12:42,410 --> 00:12:43,910
Rachel and Jessie refuse to accept

316
00:12:43,911 --> 00:12:46,112
that all of us would rather die

317
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,714
before we allow them to become
the next Beyonce and Jay-Z.

318
00:12:48,715 --> 00:12:50,548
And Finn's mother's romance with my father

319
00:12:50,549 --> 00:12:54,819
is sending him into a wholly
unnecessary tailspin of despair.

320
00:12:55,955 --> 00:12:57,456
What we all need right now

321
00:12:57,457 --> 00:13:00,527
is to explore the idea of a sense of place

322
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,490
and how, if we find that place within,

323
00:13:03,562 --> 00:13:05,129
we will get that happy ending.

324
00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:06,110
Brad, B flat.

325
00:13:16,474 --> 00:13:18,504
♪ A chair is still a chair ♪

326
00:13:19,610 --> 00:13:22,580
♪ Even when there's no one sitting there ♪

327
00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:27,970
♪ But a chair ♪

328
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:30,997
♪ Is not a house ♪

329
00:13:32,036 --> 00:13:34,176
♪ And a house is not a home ♪

330
00:13:35,841 --> 00:13:37,931
♪ When there's no one there ♪

331
00:13:39,879 --> 00:13:41,389
♪ To hold you tight ♪

332
00:13:44,019 --> 00:13:45,469
♪ And no one there ♪

333
00:13:46,889 --> 00:13:48,059
♪ You... can... ♪

334
00:13:50,859 --> 00:13:52,559
♪ Kiss... good... night ♪

335
00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:03,520
♪ A room is still a room ♪

336
00:14:05,815 --> 00:14:08,965
♪ Even when there's nothing there but gloom ♪

337
00:14:13,122 --> 00:14:15,262
♪ But a room is not a house ♪

338
00:14:17,059 --> 00:14:19,199
♪ And a house is not a home ♪

339
00:14:20,229 --> 00:14:21,849
♪ When the two of us ♪

340
00:14:23,265 --> 00:14:24,485
♪ Are far apart ♪

341
00:14:26,068 --> 00:14:28,678
♪ And one of us has a broken heart ♪

342
00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:37,190
♪ Now and then I call your name ♪

343
00:14:39,848 --> 00:14:42,188
♪ And suddenly your face appears ♪

344
00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:48,921
♪ But it's just a crazy game ♪

345
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,742
♪ And when it ends ♪

346
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,811
♪ It ends in tears ♪

347
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:05,309
♪ So, darling, have a heart ♪

348
00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:11,530
♪ Don't let one mistake keep us apart ♪

349
00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:18,650
♪ Well, I'm not meant to live alone ♪

350
00:15:19,749 --> 00:15:21,959
♪ Turn this house into a home ♪

351
00:15:23,219 --> 00:15:26,299
♪ When I climb the stair and turn the key ♪

352
00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:32,088
♪ Oh, please be there ♪

353
00:15:38,299 --> 00:15:39,699
♪ Still in love... ♪

354
00:15:43,304 --> 00:15:44,174
♪ With me. ♪

355
00:16:10,234 --> 00:16:11,394
Hiya, hot stuff.

356
00:16:11,635 --> 00:16:12,445
Hey, April.

357
00:16:12,769 --> 00:16:13,809
Um... come in.

358
00:16:15,138 --> 00:16:17,271
What's with the...
what's with the duffel bag?

359
00:16:17,272 --> 00:16:19,972
Can't have an overnighter
without an overnight bag.

360
00:16:19,973 --> 00:16:20,673
Overnight?

361
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,274
Baby, I'm an artist-- I don't go by brains,

362
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,305
I go by feel.

363
00:16:25,308 --> 00:16:27,075
I need to settle in to
the energy of the place,

364
00:16:27,076 --> 00:16:28,710
get to know the ghosts.

365
00:16:28,711 --> 00:16:29,844
Won't Buddy miss you?

366
00:16:29,845 --> 00:16:31,112
Oh, he's out of town.

367
00:16:31,113 --> 00:16:33,150
Something about buying a new kidney

368
00:16:33,151 --> 00:16:33,781
or lung.

369
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,521
Look, April, I'm really not comfortable

370
00:16:36,522 --> 00:16:37,792
with any of this.

371
00:16:38,090 --> 00:16:39,791
I'm not looking for a hookup, Will.

372
00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:43,352
I just sleep better with
someone inside the house.

373
00:16:43,761 --> 00:16:46,828
I guess I've been just feeling
a little lonely, you know?

374
00:16:46,829 --> 00:16:47,809
Yeah. I know.

375
00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:49,630
Just one night?

376
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:54,567
Oh, look, do you want to
sublet this place quick or not?

377
00:16:54,568 --> 00:16:56,935
Okay, fine, but you get the couch.

378
00:16:56,936 --> 00:16:58,506
And no funny business.

379
00:17:00,139 --> 00:17:00,539
Um...

380
00:17:01,908 --> 00:17:04,142
bathroom is right around the corner.

381
00:17:04,143 --> 00:17:06,444
Sometimes you just need a little Burt.

382
00:17:06,445 --> 00:17:08,679
Take whatever you want from the refrigerator.

383
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:09,140
April.

384
00:17:11,049 --> 00:17:12,548
The liquor cabinet is off-limits.

385
00:17:12,549 --> 00:17:14,819
Oh, no worries-- brought my own.

386
00:17:16,552 --> 00:17:17,832
Good night, April.

387
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,328
G'night, Will.

388
00:17:27,467 --> 00:17:29,387
♪ One less bell to answer ♪

389
00:17:34,978 --> 00:17:36,658
♪ One less egg to fry ♪

390
00:17:40,985 --> 00:17:42,145
♪ One less man ♪

391
00:17:44,824 --> 00:17:46,274
♪ To pick up after ♪

392
00:17:48,194 --> 00:17:49,704
♪ I should be happy ♪

393
00:17:52,331 --> 00:17:54,061
♪ But all I do is cry ♪

394
00:17:56,969 --> 00:17:57,839
♪ Cry, cry ♪

395
00:17:59,905 --> 00:18:01,305
♪ No more laughter ♪

396
00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:04,241
♪ Oh, I should be happy ♪

397
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:06,903
♪ Oh, why did she go...? ♪

398
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,987
♪ I only know that since he left ♪

399
00:18:12,882 --> 00:18:14,502
♪ My life's so empty ♪

400
00:18:17,953 --> 00:18:19,888
♪ Oh ♪ 
♪ Though I try to forget ♪

401
00:18:19,889 --> 00:18:21,739
♪ It just can't be done ♪

402
00:18:23,026 --> 00:18:26,176
♪ Each time the doorbell rings, I still run ♪

403
00:18:29,003 --> 00:18:31,433
♪ I don't know how in the world ♪

404
00:18:34,044 --> 00:18:35,964
♪ To stop thinking of him ♪

405
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,192
♪ I should be happy ♪

406
00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:41,167
♪ 'Cause I still love him so ♪

407
00:18:43,955 --> 00:18:48,195
♪ I end each day the way I start out ♪ 
♪ I start and end ♪

408
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:51,672
♪ Crying my heart out ♪ 
♪ Each day crying ♪

409
00:18:52,996 --> 00:18:54,916
♪ One less bell to answer ♪

410
00:18:58,167 --> 00:18:59,847
♪ One less egg to fry ♪

411
00:19:06,874 --> 00:19:09,204
♪ One less man ♪ 
♪ One less man ♪

412
00:19:10,110 --> 00:19:11,560
♪ To pick up after ♪

413
00:19:12,746 --> 00:19:14,966
♪ No more laughter ♪ 
♪ No more ♪

414
00:19:16,716 --> 00:19:18,056
♪ No more love... ♪

415
00:19:23,489 --> 00:19:25,059
♪ Since he went away ♪

416
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:28,054
♪ Since she ♪

417
00:19:30,027 --> 00:19:31,837
♪ Went away ♪ 
♪ Since he ♪

418
00:19:33,796 --> 00:19:34,726
♪ Went away ♪

419
00:19:41,536 --> 00:19:43,226
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh... ♪

420
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,870
♪ A chair is still a chair ♪

421
00:19:50,343 --> 00:19:53,313
♪ Even when there's no one sitting there ♪

422
00:19:56,515 --> 00:19:59,185
♪ Well, I'm not meant to live alone ♪

423
00:20:00,785 --> 00:20:02,995
♪ Turn this house into a home ♪

424
00:20:05,122 --> 00:20:08,202
♪ When I climb the stair and turn the key ♪

425
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,090
♪ Oh, please be there ♪

426
00:20:18,903 --> 00:20:20,123
♪ Still in love ♪

427
00:20:25,846 --> 00:20:28,766
♪ With me... ♪ 
♪ One less bell to answer ♪

428
00:20:31,854 --> 00:20:34,074
♪ Each time the doorbell rings ♪

429
00:20:35,691 --> 00:20:36,971
♪ I still run... ♪

430
00:20:38,627 --> 00:20:40,307
♪ One less egg to fry ♪

431
00:20:42,698 --> 00:20:45,898
♪ I've got one less man ♪ ♪ One less man... ♪

432
00:20:46,135 --> 00:20:47,585
♪ To pick up after ♪

433
00:20:49,372 --> 00:20:51,592
♪ No more ♪ 
♪ No more laughter ♪

434
00:20:52,608 --> 00:20:53,768
♪ No more love ♪

435
00:20:58,747 --> 00:20:59,617
♪ Since he ♪

436
00:21:02,284 --> 00:21:04,018
♪ Went away ♪ 
♪ Since she ♪

437
00:21:04,019 --> 00:21:05,829
♪ Went away ♪ 
♪ Since he ♪

438
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,250
♪ Went away ♪

439
00:21:12,450 --> 00:21:13,490
: # All I do #

440
00:21:20,016 --> 00:21:20,476
♪ Is ♪

441
00:21:24,186 --> 00:21:24,766
♪ Cry. ♪

442
00:21:37,831 --> 00:21:39,051
Good night, Will.

443
00:21:39,933 --> 00:21:41,213
Good night, April.

444
00:21:49,009 --> 00:21:49,639
A toast.

445
00:21:50,644 --> 00:21:52,864
Tonight is a momentous occasion.

446
00:21:53,246 --> 00:21:55,848
It marks the first rea
communion between the Hummel

447
00:21:55,849 --> 00:21:57,359
and the Hudson clans.

448
00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:58,983
I imagine that when the Bouviers

449
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,585
and the Kennedys first broke bread,

450
00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:03,588
there was a similar sense of joy and urgency.

451
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:05,523
So let me raise my Shirley Temple

452
00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:07,324
to our new little family.

453
00:22:07,325 --> 00:22:09,175
Aw... We're not a family.

454
00:22:10,061 --> 00:22:10,581
Finn...

455
00:22:11,462 --> 00:22:13,252
It's cool. You're right.

456
00:22:13,431 --> 00:22:15,965
Your mom and I just enjoy each
other's company right now.

457
00:22:15,966 --> 00:22:17,133
Let's just enjoy dinner.

458
00:22:17,134 --> 00:22:19,044
I mean, I'm buying, right?

459
00:22:20,938 --> 00:22:22,071
What you, playing basketball now?

460
00:22:22,072 --> 00:22:23,372
Yeah, but I actually

461
00:22:23,373 --> 00:22:24,707
kind of like football better.

462
00:22:24,708 --> 00:22:26,041
I didn't know that.

463
00:22:26,042 --> 00:22:27,776
Sounds crazy, but I miss getting hit.

464
00:22:27,777 --> 00:22:29,237
Pure boyish insanity.

465
00:22:30,012 --> 00:22:31,012
No, it isn't.

466
00:22:31,013 --> 00:22:32,346
I totally get that.

467
00:22:32,347 --> 00:22:33,748
I used to love the feeling

468
00:22:33,749 --> 00:22:34,882
of getting my clock cleaned

469
00:22:34,883 --> 00:22:35,883
and then popping right up.

470
00:22:35,884 --> 00:22:37,117
Kind of reminded me

471
00:22:37,118 --> 00:22:38,151
of being alive. Yeah.

472
00:22:38,152 --> 00:22:39,552
Why hasn't anyone commented

473
00:22:39,553 --> 00:22:41,419
on the new jeans I got Carole?

474
00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:42,340
Oh, come on.

475
00:22:42,887 --> 00:22:44,220
Notice that the waistband falls
well below the belly button.

476
00:22:44,221 --> 00:22:45,441
A welcome change.

477
00:22:46,454 --> 00:22:47,787
Sure, Kurt. Hey, you know, I sell tires

478
00:22:47,788 --> 00:22:49,355
to one of the assistant
coaches from the Browns.

479
00:22:49,356 --> 00:22:52,190
I can probably get you tickets,
if you want to go.

480
00:22:52,191 --> 00:22:54,621
That'd be awesome. I've never
been to an NFL game live before.

481
00:22:54,622 --> 00:22:55,822
Well, no problem.

482
00:22:55,823 --> 00:22:57,333
FINN : Wow. You know,

483
00:22:57,923 --> 00:23:01,313
for a place called Breadstix,
these really suck.

484
00:23:03,885 --> 00:23:05,784
It's really just stale bread.

485
00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:06,305
Yeah...

486
00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:08,861
Hey.

487
00:23:10,156 --> 00:23:11,786
You finally choose one?

488
00:23:11,823 --> 00:23:13,390
No. They're all wrong.

489
00:23:13,391 --> 00:23:14,824
Well, they all look like gray to me.

490
00:23:14,825 --> 00:23:16,125
Well, maybe if they were

491
00:23:16,126 --> 00:23:17,459
different colored sports uniforms,

492
00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:19,595
you'd work harder to try and tell them apart.

493
00:23:19,596 --> 00:23:21,463
I knew it. I knew when I started in

494
00:23:21,464 --> 00:23:23,265
on the football with Finn,
you'd take it personal.

495
00:23:23,266 --> 00:23:24,826
How could I not, Dad?

496
00:23:24,901 --> 00:23:26,301
When was the last time

497
00:23:26,302 --> 00:23:28,403
you were that engaged in
a conversation with me?

498
00:23:28,404 --> 00:23:30,806
I'm sorry. I don't know what you want here.

499
00:23:30,807 --> 00:23:32,674
What I want is for you to appreciate

500
00:23:32,675 --> 00:23:35,643
how hard it is for me to
watch you bond with the son

501
00:23:35,644 --> 00:23:36,811
that you've obviously always wanted.

502
00:23:36,812 --> 00:23:38,545
Oh, suddenly I'm not the guy

503
00:23:38,546 --> 00:23:41,014
<i>who sat through Riverdance three years in a
row?</i>

504
00:23:41,015 --> 00:23:42,695
Look, Kurt, I love you,

505
00:23:44,385 --> 00:23:46,551
and I am sympathetic to all of your stuff,

506
00:23:46,552 --> 00:23:48,718
but come on, buddy, we got a deal here.

507
00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:50,853
Right? I don't try to change you,

508
00:23:50,854 --> 00:23:52,453
you don't try to change me.

509
00:23:52,454 --> 00:23:53,604
You are my son,

510
00:23:54,889 --> 00:23:57,289
and a little guy talk with some other kid

511
00:23:57,290 --> 00:23:58,922
isn't gonna change that.

512
00:23:58,923 --> 00:23:59,613
Guy talk?

513
00:24:00,924 --> 00:24:01,774
I'm a guy.

514
00:24:02,993 --> 00:24:05,603
Well, come on, you know what I mean.

515
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:07,890
Maybe I was wrong.

516
00:24:09,063 --> 00:24:10,563
Maybe it is too soon

517
00:24:10,865 --> 00:24:14,135
for you to start getting
serious with someone.

518
00:24:14,367 --> 00:24:17,857
Your mom's been dead eight years,
you know that.

519
00:24:24,307 --> 00:24:26,007
Why'd you fix me up with Carole, huh?

520
00:24:26,008 --> 00:24:27,308
Wasn't it to make me happy?

521
00:24:27,309 --> 00:24:28,675
'Cause that's what you told me.

522
00:24:28,676 --> 00:24:29,826
Can you go now?

523
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:33,611
I'm a half an hour behind
on my moisturizing routine,

524
00:24:33,612 --> 00:24:35,632
and I need to get up early.

525
00:24:42,651 --> 00:24:45,252
Do you want half of my peppermint patty?

526
00:24:45,253 --> 00:24:47,187
No. I don't put junk in my body.

527
00:24:47,188 --> 00:24:48,621
Why are you doing this?

528
00:24:48,622 --> 00:24:50,488
We like you no matter how you look.

529
00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:52,357
And those shake diets are really unhealthy.

530
00:24:52,358 --> 00:24:53,524
They also don't really work.

531
00:24:53,525 --> 00:24:54,959
As soon as you go off them,

532
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,293
you gain back the weight you lost.

533
00:24:56,294 --> 00:24:58,562
You know what? I don't want to hear it!

534
00:24:58,563 --> 00:25:01,965
You have no idea how much I'm
sacrificing to be a Cheerio!

535
00:25:01,966 --> 00:25:03,246
To look fantastic.

536
00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:05,680
To finally fit in at this school.

537
00:25:07,908 --> 00:25:10,688
We're just trying to look out for you.

538
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,850
We just want you to be healthy.

539
00:25:12,851 --> 00:25:14,286
Stop getting all up in my face,

540
00:25:14,287 --> 00:25:15,857
telling me what I can and cannot do.

541
00:25:15,858 --> 00:25:18,728
And I'm really hungry,
so stop trying to get me to eat you!

542
00:25:18,729 --> 00:25:22,209
Hold up. Did she just say
she wanted to eat us?

543
00:25:23,233 --> 00:25:25,200
The point is that Fanny Brice is

544
00:25:25,201 --> 00:25:26,601
the most iconic work.

545
00:25:26,602 --> 00:25:27,292
Aw, damn.

546
00:25:36,447 --> 00:25:37,947
Your blood pressure's low.

547
00:25:37,948 --> 00:25:40,015
Maybe that's why you fainted.

548
00:25:40,016 --> 00:25:41,783
Your mom will be here soon.

549
00:25:41,784 --> 00:25:44,444
I'll go and get you some ginger ale.

550
00:25:51,059 --> 00:25:52,739
Thanks. I'm not hungry.

551
00:25:54,261 --> 00:25:55,241
Yes, you are.

552
00:25:55,428 --> 00:25:56,588
You're starving.

553
00:25:57,263 --> 00:25:59,053
I know. I've been there.

554
00:26:00,999 --> 00:26:02,799
Did all the other kids
start looking like food

555
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:03,866
right before you fainted?

556
00:26:03,867 --> 00:26:06,547
- Yeah. How'd you know?
- Been there.

557
00:26:07,237 --> 00:26:08,867
...Eat the granola bar.

558
00:26:11,342 --> 00:26:13,712
Why are you being so nice to me?

559
00:26:13,810 --> 00:26:16,010
I can't remember the last time

560
00:26:16,345 --> 00:26:19,147
you said two words to me that
weren't #you# and #suck.#

561
00:26:19,148 --> 00:26:21,008
'Cause I was you-- scared.

562
00:26:22,851 --> 00:26:24,918
Hating myself for eating a cookie.

563
00:26:24,919 --> 00:26:26,299
But I got over it.

564
00:26:26,888 --> 00:26:28,221
Yeah, of course you did,

565
00:26:28,222 --> 00:26:30,456
Miss Pretty Blonde with the white girl ass.

566
00:26:30,457 --> 00:26:32,758
When you start eating for somebody else,

567
00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:35,429
so that they can grow and be healthy,

568
00:26:35,528 --> 00:26:37,528
your relationship to food changes.

569
00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:39,209
What I realized is that

570
00:26:39,631 --> 00:26:42,765
if I'm so willing to eat right
to take care of this baby,

571
00:26:42,766 --> 00:26:45,776
why am I not willing to do it for myself?

572
00:26:46,670 --> 00:26:47,940
You are so lucky.

573
00:26:49,439 --> 00:26:52,339
You've always been at home in your body.

574
00:26:52,641 --> 00:26:56,131
Don't let Ms. Sylvester
take that away from you.

575
00:26:58,313 --> 00:26:59,703
I'm so embarrassed.

576
00:27:02,383 --> 00:27:03,473
This isn't me.

577
00:27:06,553 --> 00:27:08,643
How did I become this person?

578
00:27:11,990 --> 00:27:13,270
You are beautiful.

579
00:27:16,228 --> 00:27:17,268
You know that.

580
00:27:20,865 --> 00:27:24,935
I'm gonna stay here with you
until your mom comes, okay?

581
00:27:27,303 --> 00:27:28,643
♪ Home sweet home ♪

582
00:27:31,273 --> 00:27:32,803
♪ Tonight, tonight... ♪

583
00:27:33,275 --> 00:27:35,995
I don't think this is gonna work out.

584
00:27:36,111 --> 00:27:38,961
So, I'm thinking about closing up early.

585
00:27:39,580 --> 00:27:41,200
Want to order a pizza,

586
00:27:41,481 --> 00:27:43,861
maybe snuggle up, pop in a movie?

587
00:27:44,017 --> 00:27:46,250
I don't think we should make a habit

588
00:27:46,251 --> 00:27:47,451
of spending the night together.

589
00:27:47,452 --> 00:27:49,012
All we did was sleep.

590
00:27:49,455 --> 00:27:50,821
<i>No. All you did was sleep.</i>

591
00:27:50,822 --> 00:27:52,923
I was up all night with you kicking me.

592
00:27:52,924 --> 00:27:55,194
Sorry. Them's the night terrors.

593
00:27:55,994 --> 00:27:59,162
Look, I'm in the middle
of a divorce, and you...

594
00:27:59,163 --> 00:28:01,497
Are you really where you want to be?

595
00:28:01,498 --> 00:28:03,888
I mean, being somebody's mistress?

596
00:28:04,333 --> 00:28:06,467
Don't you think you deserve
a little bit more than that?

597
00:28:06,468 --> 00:28:09,069
You can be the life of the party every night

598
00:28:09,070 --> 00:28:10,571
and drink till you can't see straight,

599
00:28:10,572 --> 00:28:13,712
but you're always going to feel empty inside

600
00:28:14,141 --> 00:28:16,231
until you really find a home.

601
00:28:16,943 --> 00:28:18,443
♪ I'm on my way... ♪

602
00:28:20,579 --> 00:28:22,547
But, listen, if you need a
place to stay tonight...

603
00:28:22,548 --> 00:28:22,828
No.

604
00:28:23,649 --> 00:28:23,929
No.

605
00:28:25,284 --> 00:28:26,264
You're right.

606
00:28:26,652 --> 00:28:29,552
You're right. I am worth more than that.

607
00:28:30,555 --> 00:28:32,322
Tonight, I'm gonna go over to Buddy's,

608
00:28:32,323 --> 00:28:33,990
and I'm gonna tell him we're through.

609
00:28:33,991 --> 00:28:35,725
If he still had the powers of speech,

610
00:28:35,726 --> 00:28:37,026
I'm sure he'd be thankful.

611
00:28:37,027 --> 00:28:39,997
You know, RinkyDinks loses $8,000 a night.

612
00:28:40,830 --> 00:28:42,580
Turns out, roller rinks--

613
00:28:42,832 --> 00:28:44,112
not so profitable.

614
00:28:55,475 --> 00:28:59,010
You always give me the right advice,
Mr. Schuester.

615
00:28:59,011 --> 00:29:00,111
See you around.

616
00:29:10,355 --> 00:29:11,975
Finn, we need to talk.

617
00:29:13,391 --> 00:29:16,481
We have to break up our parents immediately.

618
00:29:17,061 --> 00:29:18,041
I screwed up.

619
00:29:19,230 --> 00:29:21,897
I feel like the guy who set
up Liza and David Gest.

620
00:29:21,898 --> 00:29:23,628
It hurt you, didn't it?

621
00:29:24,099 --> 00:29:26,968
When I was talking sports
with your dad and stuff.

622
00:29:26,969 --> 00:29:28,336
I could tell that you were...

623
00:29:28,337 --> 00:29:29,027
Left out?

624
00:29:30,505 --> 00:29:31,205
Invisible?

625
00:29:32,239 --> 00:29:32,639
Yeah.

626
00:29:33,708 --> 00:29:36,977
I don't like that my mom's
forgetting about my dad.

627
00:29:36,978 --> 00:29:39,579
It's up to me to keep his memory alive,

628
00:29:39,580 --> 00:29:42,248
and I don't want to move in with you.

629
00:29:42,249 --> 00:29:43,879
No offense. None taken.

630
00:29:45,585 --> 00:29:47,352
So we put an end to them.

631
00:29:47,353 --> 00:29:47,873
Agreed?

632
00:29:49,189 --> 00:29:49,709
Agreed.

633
00:29:56,796 --> 00:29:58,186
What are you doing?

634
00:29:58,731 --> 00:30:02,211
I'm going to flush Dad's
ashes down the toilet.

635
00:30:02,802 --> 00:30:04,602
Have you lost your mind?!

636
00:30:05,238 --> 00:30:08,339
What? I'm just doing the same
thing you're doing to him.

637
00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:10,005
What's the point of
keeping his remains around

638
00:30:10,006 --> 00:30:12,702
if you're just gonna dump
them out like an old ashtray?

639
00:30:12,703 --> 00:30:13,103
Fine.

640
00:30:16,839 --> 00:30:19,206
What are you doing? What you want.

641
00:30:19,207 --> 00:30:20,274
What we've been doing

642
00:30:20,275 --> 00:30:22,725
for the last 15 years-- pretending.

643
00:30:22,744 --> 00:30:26,180
Come on, Finn, let's sit
and watch TV as a family.

644
00:30:26,181 --> 00:30:27,581
Look! There's a basketball game on.

645
00:30:27,582 --> 00:30:29,382
Your dad would've liked to watch that.

646
00:30:29,383 --> 00:30:30,617
What do you think, Christopher?

647
00:30:30,618 --> 00:30:31,818
Mom, you're being crazy.

648
00:30:31,819 --> 00:30:33,619
And you're being selfish.

649
00:30:34,088 --> 00:30:35,528
I like Burt. I-I...

650
00:30:37,624 --> 00:30:40,859
I haven't felt this way about
a guy since your dad died.

651
00:30:40,860 --> 00:30:43,350
At least not one who felt it back.

652
00:30:43,363 --> 00:30:45,564
This family works.
I don't want it to get screwed up!

653
00:30:45,565 --> 00:30:46,965
This family manages.

654
00:30:47,833 --> 00:30:48,633
We get by.

655
00:30:50,869 --> 00:30:53,004
You just don't know any differently because

656
00:30:53,005 --> 00:30:55,385
you think what we have is normal.

657
00:31:03,180 --> 00:31:05,440
I do this with him every night.

658
00:31:07,418 --> 00:31:09,552
I take the urn to bed with me,

659
00:31:09,553 --> 00:31:11,863
and I talk to him about my day.

660
00:31:11,988 --> 00:31:12,678
16 years,

661
00:31:14,523 --> 00:31:17,253
I've been asking him for advice and...

662
00:31:20,727 --> 00:31:22,660
...and waiting to hear his laugh,

663
00:31:22,661 --> 00:31:25,611
and for him to tell me that he loves me.

664
00:31:27,931 --> 00:31:29,261
And he never does.

665
00:31:31,166 --> 00:31:32,496
And he never will.

666
00:31:36,670 --> 00:31:38,870
I won't do it. I'm not moving. I'm not ready.

667
00:31:38,871 --> 00:31:41,306
And he wouldn't want you to
do this if I wasn't ready.

668
00:31:41,307 --> 00:31:43,217
You didn't know him, Finn.

669
00:31:47,547 --> 00:31:49,587
Sweetheart, love you so much.

670
00:31:53,586 --> 00:31:56,606
We don't need any more memories or ghosts.

671
00:31:57,256 --> 00:31:59,106
We need a family. A home.

672
00:32:18,017 --> 00:32:20,107
Well, with a name like Tracy,

673
00:32:20,253 --> 00:32:22,163
I assumed you were a lady.

674
00:32:22,221 --> 00:32:23,321
Quite a turnout

675
00:32:24,656 --> 00:32:25,866
for a pep rally.

676
00:32:26,022 --> 00:32:27,421
On assembly days, I arrange

677
00:32:27,422 --> 00:32:29,656
for the rest of the school to be fumigated,

678
00:32:29,657 --> 00:32:32,693
leaving the gymnasium the only
place with breathable air.

679
00:32:32,694 --> 00:32:34,096
Oh, come on. Thas clever.

680
00:32:34,097 --> 00:32:36,365
You might want to start writing
down my little bon mots.

681
00:32:36,366 --> 00:32:38,001
I'm gonna be dropping some beauties on you.

682
00:32:38,002 --> 00:32:40,736
You know, this is just a freelance job.

683
00:32:40,737 --> 00:32:42,838
I was short-listed for the Pulitzer last year

684
00:32:42,839 --> 00:32:44,108
<i>for my Newsweek piece</i>

685
00:32:44,109 --> 00:32:45,777
on high school athletes going pro.

686
00:32:45,778 --> 00:32:48,558
So my cover story isn't a fluff piece?

687
00:32:49,015 --> 00:32:51,245
Nope. Hard-hitting investigation.

688
00:33:03,261 --> 00:33:05,941
Feast your ears on this smokin' intro.

689
00:33:09,032 --> 00:33:10,302
In a few seconds.

690
00:33:11,134 --> 00:33:13,924
It's so important to build the tension.

691
00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:19,870
What is she doing?

692
00:33:22,977 --> 00:33:23,727
Hey, guys.

693
00:33:24,145 --> 00:33:25,535
I'm Mercedes Jones.

694
00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:28,487
So most of you know

695
00:33:29,415 --> 00:33:32,183
Cheerios! is about perfection and winning,

696
00:33:32,184 --> 00:33:34,284
looking hot and being popular.

697
00:33:34,753 --> 00:33:36,623
Still building the tension.

698
00:33:41,025 --> 00:33:45,115
Well, I think that it should
be about something different.

699
00:33:46,896 --> 00:33:49,796
How many of you at this school feel fat?

700
00:33:52,467 --> 00:33:54,067
How many of you feel like

701
00:33:54,068 --> 00:33:56,448
maybe you're not worth very much?

702
00:33:57,738 --> 00:33:59,305
Or you're ugly, or you have too many pimples

703
00:33:59,306 --> 00:34:00,936
and not enough friends?

704
00:34:03,644 --> 00:34:05,444
Well, I felt all those things about myself

705
00:34:05,445 --> 00:34:07,125
at one time or another.

706
00:34:09,482 --> 00:34:12,885
Hell, I felt most of those
things about myself today.

707
00:34:12,886 --> 00:34:14,796
And that just ain't right.

708
00:34:15,622 --> 00:34:18,522
And we've got something to say about it.

709
00:34:18,992 --> 00:34:20,959
And if you like what we have to say,

710
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,510
come down here and sing it with us.

711
00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:28,909
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ah ♪

712
00:34:33,204 --> 00:34:33,844
♪ Yeah  ♪

713
00:34:37,641 --> 00:34:39,681
♪ Every day is so wonderful ♪

714
00:34:42,546 --> 00:34:43,656
♪ And suddenly ♪

715
00:34:45,148 --> 00:34:46,888
♪ It's hard to breathe ♪

716
00:34:50,357 --> 00:34:52,567
♪ Now and then I get insecure ♪

717
00:34:54,491 --> 00:34:56,001
♪ From all the pain ♪

718
00:34:57,993 --> 00:34:59,323
♪ I'm so ashamed ♪

719
00:35:02,759 --> 00:35:04,039
♪ I am beautiful ♪

720
00:35:05,059 --> 00:35:06,979
♪ No matter what they say ♪

721
00:35:08,663 --> 00:35:10,753
♪ Words can't bring me down ♪

722
00:35:15,669 --> 00:35:18,349
♪ I am beautiful in every single way ♪

723
00:35:20,906 --> 00:35:23,346
♪ Yes, words can't bring me down ♪

724
00:35:25,843 --> 00:35:26,593
♪ Oh, no ♪

725
00:35:28,378 --> 00:35:30,988
♪ So don't you bring me down today ♪

726
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:36,230
<i># No matter what we do # 
# No matter what we do #</i>

727
00:35:37,013 --> 00:35:40,245
<i># No matter what we say # 
# We're the song that's outta tune #</i>

728
00:35:40,246 --> 00:35:44,586
<i># Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah # 
# Full of beautiful mistakes #</i>

729
00:35:45,117 --> 00:35:48,567
<i># And everywhere we go # 
# And everywhere we go #</i>

730
00:35:49,460 --> 00:35:51,620
♪ The sun will always, always ♪

731
00:35:53,628 --> 00:35:54,268
♪ Shine ♪

732
00:35:56,064 --> 00:35:57,934
♪ 'Cause we are beautiful ♪

733
00:35:58,834 --> 00:36:00,754
♪ No matter what they say ♪

734
00:36:01,770 --> 00:36:04,210
♪ Yes, words won't bring us down ♪

735
00:36:06,540 --> 00:36:07,290
♪ Oh, no ♪

736
00:36:08,608 --> 00:36:10,658
<i># Ah... # 
# We are beautiful #</i>

737
00:36:11,310 --> 00:36:12,940
♪ In every single way ♪

738
00:36:13,979 --> 00:36:16,419
♪ Yes, words can't bring us down ♪

739
00:36:18,515 --> 00:36:19,555
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

740
00:36:22,251 --> 00:36:26,621
<i># So don't you bring me down today # 
# Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh... #</i>

741
00:36:28,258 --> 00:36:29,298
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

742
00:36:32,529 --> 00:36:32,989
♪ Oh ♪

743
00:36:34,331 --> 00:36:36,711
♪ Don't you bring me down today ♪

744
00:36:39,502 --> 00:36:40,202
♪ Hey... ♪

745
00:36:42,170 --> 00:36:42,750
♪ Yeah ♪

746
00:36:45,340 --> 00:36:46,510
<i># Oh # 
# Ooh... #</i>

747
00:36:48,277 --> 00:36:50,247
♪ Don't you bring me down ♪

748
00:36:52,779 --> 00:36:53,479
♪ Today. ♪

749
00:37:05,923 --> 00:37:09,663
We can finish this interview
in your office tomorrow.

750
00:37:13,029 --> 00:37:14,709
Thank you. I was wrong.

751
00:37:25,844 --> 00:37:27,010
Mr. Pendergrass, let me explain.

752
00:37:27,011 --> 00:37:28,281
Just have a seat.

753
00:37:28,746 --> 00:37:30,836
Oh. Not used to taking orders

754
00:37:31,749 --> 00:37:33,019
in my own office.

755
00:37:33,685 --> 00:37:36,221
Sue, when I met you,
I instantly disliked you.

756
00:37:36,222 --> 00:37:37,912
You're bossy, insulting,

757
00:37:38,025 --> 00:37:40,161
and the fact that twice you called me Rerun

758
00:37:40,162 --> 00:37:42,597
makes me think you're a little racist.

759
00:37:42,598 --> 00:37:44,678
I came here to write a piece

760
00:37:44,699 --> 00:37:47,569
that would expose you
as a coward and a cheat.

761
00:37:47,570 --> 00:37:49,338
I could not have been more wrong.

762
00:37:49,339 --> 00:37:50,149
Beg pardon?

763
00:37:51,274 --> 00:37:53,075
You got every shape and
size Cheerio! up there

764
00:37:53,076 --> 00:37:55,210
singing about empowerment and inclusion,

765
00:37:55,211 --> 00:37:59,513
telling everyone it's okay to
be exactly the person you are.

766
00:37:59,514 --> 00:38:00,904
You're a visionary,

767
00:38:01,049 --> 00:38:03,509
and I think redefining cheerleading.

768
00:38:03,618 --> 00:38:04,078
Bravo.

769
00:38:05,586 --> 00:38:08,156
Well, thank you, uh, Mr. Pendergrass.

770
00:38:08,456 --> 00:38:10,766
I... I can't say I'm surprised.

771
00:38:11,492 --> 00:38:13,572
Um, you know, I work so hard

772
00:38:14,928 --> 00:38:18,198
to get my girls feeling
good about themselves,

773
00:38:18,230 --> 00:38:20,164
becae it's what's inside that counts.

774
00:38:20,165 --> 00:38:21,725
It's an honor, Coach.

775
00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:23,593
When this hits the stands,

776
00:38:23,735 --> 00:38:26,115
it could mean big things for you.

777
00:38:35,412 --> 00:38:37,279
What are you doing here?
Did you already move in?

778
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,020
No, your mom invited me.

779
00:38:39,048 --> 00:38:41,481
She thought you and I
could have a man-to-man.

780
00:38:41,482 --> 00:38:43,848
Good, you know, 'cause I got
a lot to say about this.

781
00:38:43,849 --> 00:38:46,389
Well, I don't, so let me go first.

782
00:38:46,814 --> 00:38:48,604
You're pissed, I get it.

783
00:38:49,981 --> 00:38:51,421
Your dad is a hero,

784
00:38:52,384 --> 00:38:55,086
not only to the world for
what he did in Desert Storm,

785
00:38:55,087 --> 00:38:56,867
but he's a hero to you.

786
00:38:57,421 --> 00:38:59,501
No way I can fill his shoes.

787
00:39:02,458 --> 00:39:04,078
It's just, you know...

788
00:39:04,460 --> 00:39:05,670
I love your mom.

789
00:39:07,729 --> 00:39:10,063
She's like this angel that,
you know, came down

790
00:39:10,064 --> 00:39:12,198
to wake me up after all these years,

791
00:39:12,199 --> 00:39:14,800
and I swear to you I will never hurt her,

792
00:39:14,801 --> 00:39:17,061
I will always take care of her.

793
00:39:17,737 --> 00:39:19,237
And I can't be your dad,

794
00:39:19,238 --> 00:39:23,228
but I will be her hero for
as long as she'll take me.

795
00:39:26,211 --> 00:39:27,578
All right, I've said my piece.

796
00:39:27,579 --> 00:39:29,369
What do you want to say?

797
00:39:31,648 --> 00:39:35,248
Just... want to know if
you want to watch a game.

798
00:39:38,521 --> 00:39:38,921
Sure.

799
00:39:45,993 --> 00:39:46,623
Hold up.

800
00:39:49,129 --> 00:39:51,269
You can sit here if you want.

801
00:40:09,614 --> 00:40:12,634
You know, I hate Duke like I hate thNazis.

802
00:40:14,452 --> 00:40:15,722
Tell me about it.

803
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:20,150
This team, every year,
they recruit these guys and, uh...

804
00:40:29,867 --> 00:40:31,937
I-I don't know what to say.

805
00:40:32,002 --> 00:40:33,302
Just say congratulations.

806
00:40:33,303 --> 00:40:34,693
I took your advice.

807
00:40:34,804 --> 00:40:37,671
I went home, I told Buddy that
if he wantedo keep me around,

808
00:40:37,672 --> 00:40:38,939
he had to ditch the old lady

809
00:40:38,940 --> 00:40:41,320
and give yours truly the top job.

810
00:40:41,608 --> 00:40:42,878
And then he died.

811
00:40:44,043 --> 00:40:45,210
One of his eyes went all funny

812
00:40:45,211 --> 00:40:46,744
and he had a stroke right in front of me.

813
00:40:46,745 --> 00:40:47,946
Geez, April, are you okay?

814
00:40:47,947 --> 00:40:49,097
Okay? I'm rich.

815
00:40:49,949 --> 00:40:52,384
<i>The ol' battle axe was afraid I'd go to The
Lima Times,</i>

816
00:40:52,385 --> 00:40:55,082
so she shut me up to the tune of $2 million.

817
00:40:55,083 --> 00:40:59,047
So I'm sobering up, and I'm
heading to the Broadway, Will.

818
00:40:59,048 --> 00:41:01,615
I haven't had a drink in 45 minutes.

819
00:41:01,616 --> 00:41:03,783
I'm going to take my hush
money and I'm going to mount

820
00:41:03,784 --> 00:41:07,274
<i>the first-ever all-white 
production of The Wiz.</i>

821
00:41:08,587 --> 00:41:08,987
Okay.

822
00:41:09,787 --> 00:41:10,887
And I've got you to thank.

823
00:41:10,888 --> 00:41:12,448
Did you tell him yet?

824
00:41:12,789 --> 00:41:13,769
Tell me what?

825
00:41:13,857 --> 00:41:16,357
That I bought y'all the auditorium.

826
00:41:17,793 --> 00:41:18,253
What?!

827
00:41:19,127 --> 00:41:21,796
I wrote ol' Figgins a check this morning.

828
00:41:21,797 --> 00:41:25,032
It's now called the April
Rhodes Civic Pavilion.

829
00:41:25,033 --> 00:41:27,283
I... I don't know what to say.

830
00:41:28,170 --> 00:41:29,850
We've got that covered.

831
00:41:30,968 --> 00:41:32,251
<i>"Home", from "The Wiz"</i>

832
00:41:41,385 --> 00:41:43,818
<i># When I think of home #</i>

833
00:41:43,875 --> 00:41:45,849
<i># I think of a place #</i>

834
00:41:46,155 --> 00:41:47,958
<i># where there's... #</i>

835
00:41:48,085 --> 00:41:51,620
<i># love overflowing #</i>

836
00:41:52,675 --> 00:41:57,592
<i># I wish I was home #
# I wish I was back there #</i>

837
00:41:57,895 --> 00:42:02,895
<i># with the things I been knowing #</i>

838
00:42:03,675 --> 00:42:07,051
<i># Wind that makes the tall grass #</i>

839
00:42:07,115 --> 00:42:09,783
<i># bend into leaning #</i>

840
00:42:10,005 --> 00:42:13,481
<i># Suddenly the raindrops that fall #</i>

841
00:42:13,595 --> 00:42:17,792
<i># have a meaning, sprinklin'... #</i>

842
00:42:18,125 --> 00:42:20,743
<i># the scene #</i>

843
00:42:21,205 --> 00:42:26,105
<i># Makes it all clean #</i>

844
00:42:28,855 --> 00:42:33,152
<i># Maybe there's a chance for me to go back #</i>

845
00:42:33,255 --> 00:42:35,179
<i># Now that I... #</i>

846
00:42:35,245 --> 00:42:39,123
<i># have some direction #</i>

847
00:42:39,595 --> 00:42:43,830
<i># It sure would be nice to be back home #</i>

848
00:42:43,875 --> 00:42:45,647
<i># where there's... #</i>

849
00:42:45,835 --> 00:42:49,492
<i># love and affection #</i>

850
00:42:49,955 --> 00:42:52,217
<i># And just maybe I... #</i>

851
00:42:52,295 --> 00:42:55,321
<i># can convince time to slow up #</i>

852
00:42:55,805 --> 00:42:57,918
<i># giving me enough time #</i>

853
00:42:58,045 --> 00:43:00,783
<i># in my life to grow up #</i>

854
00:43:01,195 --> 00:43:04,992
<i># Time, be my friend #</i>

855
00:43:05,555 --> 00:43:10,555
<i># - Let me start again #
# - Let me start again #</i>

856
00:43:12,315 --> 00:43:16,895
<i># - Living here, in this brand new world #
# - Brand new world #</i>

857
00:43:16,965 --> 00:43:19,940
<i># - might be a fantasy #
# - fantasy #</i>

858
00:43:22,475 --> 00:43:26,284
<i># But it taught me to love #</i>

859
00:43:26,915 --> 00:43:31,915
<i># So it's real, real, real to me #</i>

860
00:43:32,225 --> 00:43:35,624
<i># And I've learned we must look #</i>

861
00:43:35,885 --> 00:43:39,242
<i># look inside our hearts #</i>

862
00:43:39,445 --> 00:43:41,195
<i># to find #</i>

863
00:43:41,945 --> 00:43:46,187
<i># - yeah, a world full of love #
# - A world full of love #</i>

864
00:43:46,445 --> 00:43:48,905
<i># - like yours, like... #
#- like... #</i>

865
00:43:48,935 --> 00:43:49,935
<i># mine #</i>

866
00:43:52,235 --> 00:43:54,485
<i># Like home #</i>

867
00:43:58,085 --> 00:44:00,038
<i># Home #</i>

868
00:44:02,685 --> 00:44:04,240
<i># Home #</i>

