1 00:00:11,601 --> 00:00:13,202 He's the one trying to bring back disco. 2 00:00:13,270 --> 00:00:15,571 I don't have to be old to know it's not gonna happen. 3 00:00:17,808 --> 00:00:20,876 What it is, soul brother. 4 00:00:20,944 --> 00:00:22,159 My boys are gonna make me breakfast in bed 5 00:00:22,227 --> 00:00:23,724 For mother's day. 6 00:00:23,792 --> 00:00:25,362 Well, actually, I'm gonna make the breakfast and get in bed, 7 00:00:25,430 --> 00:00:26,393 But they're gonna bring it to me. 8 00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:28,229 - Aw. - Oh, I know! 9 00:00:28,297 --> 00:00:29,830 And then they said the cutest thing last night. 10 00:00:29,898 --> 00:00:32,197 They said, "mama," 'cause they call me mama-- 11 00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:33,600 - Well, if you're gonna be the fun police-- 12 00:00:33,668 --> 00:00:35,005 - Okay, well, if I'm the fun police, 13 00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,244 Then you're director of Funland security. 14 00:00:36,311 --> 00:00:37,646 Ugh! 15 00:00:37,714 --> 00:00:40,224 - Oh, good, more of this. - More of what? 16 00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:41,992 What do you think? The constant bickering. 17 00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:45,069 It was cute at first, but... Well, Abed explains it best. 18 00:00:45,139 --> 00:00:47,140 To be blunt, Jeff and Britta is no Ross and Rachel. 19 00:00:47,208 --> 00:00:48,642 Your sexual tension and lack of chemistry 20 00:00:48,709 --> 00:00:50,577 Are putting us all on edge, which is why, ironically-- 21 00:00:50,645 --> 00:00:51,978 And hear this on every level-- 22 00:00:52,046 --> 00:00:53,314 You're keeping us from being friends. 23 00:00:53,382 --> 00:00:55,782 Jeff and I do not have sexual tension. 24 00:00:55,850 --> 00:00:57,785 We just argue all the time. 25 00:00:57,853 --> 00:01:00,454 Oh, just like Sam and Diane. I hated Sam and Diane. 26 00:01:00,522 --> 00:01:02,056 Who are Sam and Diane? 27 00:01:02,124 --> 00:01:03,824 Okay, we get it. You're young! Sorry. 28 00:01:03,892 --> 00:01:05,259 You see what you're doing to us? 29 00:01:05,327 --> 00:01:06,460 Want my advice? 30 00:01:06,528 --> 00:01:08,662 Pork her and move on. 31 00:01:08,730 --> 00:01:09,997 We did it all the time in my day. 32 00:01:10,064 --> 00:01:11,731 Yeah, well, you also put hydrogen in blimps, 33 00:01:11,799 --> 00:01:13,399 And that was bad. 34 00:01:13,467 --> 00:01:15,869 Hey, everybody. Just a reminder. 35 00:01:15,936 --> 00:01:18,474 Our spring fling is on the quad today. 36 00:01:18,542 --> 00:01:21,010 Music, food, activities. What, what? 37 00:01:21,078 --> 00:01:22,712 Ha. He makes me uncomfortable. 38 00:01:22,780 --> 00:01:24,714 Mm. Still in the room. 39 00:01:24,782 --> 00:01:28,354 There's also going to be a game of paintball assassin 40 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,323 With a prize for last man standing. 41 00:01:30,391 --> 00:01:32,359 Or last man in a wheelchair with no paint on him. 42 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,997 - Or last woman. - Give it a rest, Britta. 43 00:01:35,064 --> 00:01:36,399 Ugh! What's the prize? 44 00:01:36,466 --> 00:01:39,536 - It was a blu-ray DVD player, but it was stolen. 45 00:01:39,604 --> 00:01:41,640 So now it's tbd. 46 00:01:41,707 --> 00:01:43,576 I want tbd. Is that new? 47 00:01:43,644 --> 00:01:44,811 If it's what I think, 48 00:01:44,878 --> 00:01:46,246 I had it for about a month in the '70s. 49 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:47,515 Let's get back to Britta and Jeff. 50 00:01:47,582 --> 00:01:49,751 There's no Britta and Jeff. 51 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:51,220 He said, fully erect. 52 00:01:51,288 --> 00:01:52,989 Well, I'm gonna let you guys figure this out 53 00:01:53,057 --> 00:01:55,759 While I go take a nap in my car. 54 00:02:00,099 --> 00:02:01,366 What are you waiting for? 55 00:02:02,435 --> 00:02:03,535 Unh! 56 00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:07,841 ♪ give me some more time in a dream ♪ 57 00:02:07,909 --> 00:02:11,412 ♪ give me the hope to run out of steam ♪ 58 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,416 ♪ somebody said it could be here ♪ 59 00:02:14,484 --> 00:02:16,051 ♪ we could be roped up ♪ 60 00:02:16,119 --> 00:02:18,521 ♪ tied up, dead in a year ♪ 61 00:02:18,589 --> 00:02:23,793 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 62 00:02:23,861 --> 00:02:27,930 ♪ one by one, they all just fade away ♪ 63 00:02:27,931 --> 00:02:37,931 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 64 00:02:43,683 --> 00:02:46,052 What the hell? 65 00:03:00,068 --> 00:03:02,937 Hello? 66 00:03:09,344 --> 00:03:11,445 What is going on? 67 00:03:11,513 --> 00:03:14,114 - The paintball game was-- was starting, 68 00:03:14,182 --> 00:03:16,016 And the--and the dean... 69 00:03:16,084 --> 00:03:17,986 The dean announced 70 00:03:18,053 --> 00:03:19,121 Th-the prize. 71 00:03:19,189 --> 00:03:21,323 The prize! 72 00:03:21,391 --> 00:03:24,527 We--we turned on each other like...Like animals! 73 00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,596 - What was the prize? - Was? 74 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,866 This is not over! 75 00:03:28,934 --> 00:03:31,302 This is still happening... Right now! 76 00:03:31,370 --> 00:03:32,804 Aah! 77 00:03:32,871 --> 00:03:33,872 Leonard? 78 00:03:33,939 --> 00:03:36,708 Leonard, I'm not playing! 79 00:03:36,776 --> 00:03:38,510 Everyone's playing! 80 00:03:49,922 --> 00:03:51,022 Aw... 81 00:03:51,090 --> 00:03:53,057 You suck! 82 00:03:57,897 --> 00:04:01,300 Come with me if you don't want paint on your clothes. 83 00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:11,777 Hey. Look what I found wandering the neutral zone. 84 00:04:13,279 --> 00:04:14,913 Jeff winger. 85 00:04:14,981 --> 00:04:17,582 You son of a bitch! 86 00:04:17,650 --> 00:04:20,987 I thought you were dead, man! 87 00:04:21,054 --> 00:04:24,558 I was just taking a nap. Has everyone lost their mind? 88 00:04:24,625 --> 00:04:26,393 It's just a game of paintball. 89 00:04:26,461 --> 00:04:28,829 Last man standing gets the prize. 90 00:04:28,897 --> 00:04:30,498 The prize. 91 00:04:30,565 --> 00:04:31,933 The prize. 92 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,802 What is this prize? 93 00:04:36,472 --> 00:04:39,106 You don't know. 94 00:04:39,174 --> 00:04:40,441 Priority registration. 95 00:04:40,509 --> 00:04:42,343 Priority registration. 96 00:04:42,411 --> 00:04:47,181 That's why everyone's running around like a bunch-- 97 00:04:47,249 --> 00:04:48,883 Does that mean what I think it means? 98 00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:50,685 Like you could have first choice 99 00:04:50,752 --> 00:04:52,787 Of your classes next semester? 100 00:04:55,123 --> 00:04:56,357 Easy, sugar bear. 101 00:04:56,425 --> 00:04:58,225 Yeah, but you could schedule 102 00:04:58,293 --> 00:05:00,762 All your classes on a Monday and then take a six-day weekend. 103 00:05:00,829 --> 00:05:02,564 You could do a lot of things. 104 00:05:02,632 --> 00:05:04,867 Talk him through the hunger, Abed. 105 00:05:04,934 --> 00:05:06,435 Every student wants that prize, Jeff. 106 00:05:06,503 --> 00:05:07,636 And there's no way to share it, 107 00:05:07,704 --> 00:05:09,271 So we'll eventually all turn on each other. 108 00:05:09,339 --> 00:05:10,973 But the longer we wait to do that--Jeff! 109 00:05:11,041 --> 00:05:13,976 The longer we work together, the longer we last. 110 00:05:14,044 --> 00:05:15,377 Is everyone running in packs? 111 00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:16,478 The debate team was the first to do it, 112 00:05:16,546 --> 00:05:17,679 But they fell to infighting. 113 00:05:17,747 --> 00:05:19,382 They say the glee club is luring stragglers 114 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:22,117 Into sniper traps with cheery renditions of hit songs. 115 00:05:22,185 --> 00:05:24,286 Really? And people fall for that? 116 00:05:24,354 --> 00:05:26,121 - Yeah. - I mean, I'm all for winning, 117 00:05:26,189 --> 00:05:28,356 But let's not resort to cheap ploys. 118 00:05:31,393 --> 00:05:33,161 Are the girls in the game? 119 00:05:33,228 --> 00:05:35,663 - You mean Britta? - No, I don't mean Britta. 120 00:05:35,731 --> 00:05:38,499 Did I say Britta? Twice now. 121 00:05:38,567 --> 00:05:40,134 Chess club! 122 00:05:40,202 --> 00:05:42,236 No, no, no! 123 00:05:42,304 --> 00:05:44,806 He's a pawn. 124 00:05:53,716 --> 00:05:55,917 Checkmate, bitches. 125 00:06:00,890 --> 00:06:02,157 And tell the drama club 126 00:06:02,224 --> 00:06:04,259 Their tears will be real today. 127 00:06:07,229 --> 00:06:09,697 No, that's all sugar, man! Get some protein. 128 00:06:09,765 --> 00:06:11,365 - Right here. Peanuts. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 129 00:06:11,433 --> 00:06:12,799 Peanuts, peanuts. 130 00:06:12,867 --> 00:06:14,868 No, take the stuff out closer to you! 131 00:06:14,936 --> 00:06:17,170 No, no. The ones in the back are the freshest. 132 00:06:17,238 --> 00:06:19,706 That'll keep us going. Yeah. 133 00:06:19,774 --> 00:06:22,976 - Hey! What the hell? - I got you covered, bro. 134 00:06:23,044 --> 00:06:25,712 You guys formed an alliance without me? 135 00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:27,814 - Yeah. You with star-burns? 136 00:06:27,882 --> 00:06:29,883 Not if I can be with you. 137 00:06:29,951 --> 00:06:32,385 Ow! 138 00:06:32,453 --> 00:06:33,953 - Ha. It's just star-burns. 139 00:06:34,021 --> 00:06:35,121 Anyone else need a pee break? 140 00:06:35,188 --> 00:06:36,656 - Yeah. - Yeah. 141 00:06:36,724 --> 00:06:38,291 - Hey. - Hey. 142 00:06:38,359 --> 00:06:40,326 I'll stand guard. I don't need to pee. 143 00:06:40,394 --> 00:06:42,127 I'm wearing a diaper for the game. 144 00:06:42,195 --> 00:06:44,430 Oh, yeah. "for the game." 145 00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,534 Hey, guys, make this quick 146 00:06:48,602 --> 00:06:51,037 Before Pierce's chewing attracts enemies. 147 00:07:11,492 --> 00:07:13,026 Um, guys? 148 00:07:13,094 --> 00:07:14,761 - Hold it! - Don't move! 149 00:07:14,829 --> 00:07:16,329 Drop it! 150 00:07:17,397 --> 00:07:20,399 Freeze, mamma jamma! 151 00:07:26,724 --> 00:07:29,193 All right, everybody be cool. 152 00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:30,761 We can beat the others if we merge alliances. 153 00:07:30,829 --> 00:07:32,262 We're doing fine on our own. 154 00:07:32,330 --> 00:07:34,298 Yeah? You gonna win the whole game camped on a crapper? 155 00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:35,333 - Worked on you. - Did it? 156 00:07:35,401 --> 00:07:36,534 Or do you have a gun in your face? 157 00:07:36,602 --> 00:07:38,336 - Yeah, kinda matches yours. - Nice comeback. 158 00:07:38,404 --> 00:07:39,837 Shut up! 159 00:07:39,905 --> 00:07:42,974 - Jeez! - Jeez! 160 00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:54,086 Okay. So the agreement is we're allies 161 00:07:54,154 --> 00:07:56,555 Until we're sure we're the last seven standing. 162 00:07:58,392 --> 00:08:00,026 You thinking what I'm thinking? 163 00:08:00,094 --> 00:08:02,896 - Mm-hmm. Our team's walking with God. 164 00:08:02,963 --> 00:08:05,365 I'm thinking we might already be the only seven left, 165 00:08:05,432 --> 00:08:07,467 In which case, this is a window for the two of us 166 00:08:07,535 --> 00:08:08,802 To take out the others. 167 00:08:08,869 --> 00:08:10,503 Real nice, Troy. 168 00:08:10,571 --> 00:08:12,138 That'd be great p.R. For the black students. 169 00:08:12,206 --> 00:08:14,974 I am not an ambassador. 170 00:08:15,042 --> 00:08:16,843 I am gladiator. 171 00:08:16,910 --> 00:08:19,212 Now, you want to win or not? 172 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,347 Oh...Oh! 173 00:08:21,415 --> 00:08:23,816 Troy made God mad! 174 00:08:23,884 --> 00:08:25,952 Take cover! 175 00:08:27,788 --> 00:08:31,657 Run, Pierce! 176 00:08:31,725 --> 00:08:33,726 ♪ la la la ♪ 177 00:08:33,793 --> 00:08:36,596 ♪ la la la la la la la la la ♪ 178 00:08:36,663 --> 00:08:37,797 Glee club. 179 00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:38,998 How do you know it's the glee club? 180 00:08:39,066 --> 00:08:40,099 Listen. 181 00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:43,068 - * la * - * La * 182 00:08:43,136 --> 00:08:44,537 ♪ hit me with your best shot ♪ 183 00:08:44,604 --> 00:08:46,004 Oh, brother! 184 00:08:46,072 --> 00:08:47,706 ♪ why don't you hit me with your best shot ♪ 185 00:08:47,774 --> 00:08:50,509 That is so uninspired! 186 00:08:50,576 --> 00:08:52,077 I'm not so sure. 187 00:08:53,946 --> 00:08:56,348 I got a plan. Get ready. 188 00:08:56,416 --> 00:08:58,249 Hey, Pierce. 189 00:08:58,317 --> 00:09:00,251 Don't come over here, okay? 190 00:09:00,319 --> 00:09:03,120 Screw you! I'm coming over there. 191 00:09:06,257 --> 00:09:08,425 Medic! 192 00:09:08,492 --> 00:09:11,195 In the trees! There! 193 00:09:22,041 --> 00:09:25,411 Write some original songs! 194 00:09:25,478 --> 00:09:28,448 What are you guys gonna do 195 00:09:28,516 --> 00:09:30,250 If you win priority registration? 196 00:09:30,318 --> 00:09:32,619 I'll make my schedule airtight. 197 00:09:32,686 --> 00:09:35,088 Maybe get out of here in three years instead of four. 198 00:09:35,155 --> 00:09:38,425 I'd take any class with no tests and no papers. 199 00:09:38,492 --> 00:09:41,162 What would you do, Shirley? 200 00:09:41,229 --> 00:09:43,231 I'd choose all morning classes 201 00:09:43,298 --> 00:09:46,034 So I could get home early to spend some time with my boys. 202 00:09:46,101 --> 00:09:48,603 It's hard being away from them so much. 203 00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:49,904 You know what? 204 00:09:49,972 --> 00:09:51,906 I say if any of us win the prize, 205 00:09:51,974 --> 00:09:53,808 We give it to Shirley as a mother's day gift. 206 00:09:53,876 --> 00:09:56,011 - Absolutely. - What? 207 00:09:56,078 --> 00:09:57,345 Abed, you don't have to do that. 208 00:09:57,413 --> 00:09:59,414 I am so sick of you guilting people 209 00:09:59,482 --> 00:10:01,316 With your phony humanitarian schtick. 210 00:10:01,384 --> 00:10:03,819 Phony? When I win, you can watch me do it. 211 00:10:03,886 --> 00:10:05,020 Of course you'll do it, 212 00:10:05,088 --> 00:10:06,288 But that won't make it less phony. 213 00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:07,689 You know, you'd be a lot more likeable-- 214 00:10:07,757 --> 00:10:09,157 - If I never did anything for anybody ever? 215 00:10:09,225 --> 00:10:10,759 Yeah. Because when you help people, 216 00:10:10,826 --> 00:10:12,928 That always turns out great. 217 00:10:12,995 --> 00:10:14,662 Let's do it. 218 00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:18,299 Shh! 219 00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:19,767 Study group! 220 00:10:19,835 --> 00:10:22,570 Come out and play! 221 00:10:22,638 --> 00:10:25,240 - Oh, look, it's post-ironic disco st... 222 00:10:25,307 --> 00:10:26,941 You still trying to bring it back? 223 00:10:27,009 --> 00:10:28,676 Hi! 224 00:10:28,744 --> 00:10:29,944 - Wha-ha! 225 00:10:30,011 --> 00:10:32,213 Damn, he brought it back. 226 00:10:33,615 --> 00:10:34,681 Ooh! 227 00:10:34,749 --> 00:10:35,816 Aah! 228 00:10:35,884 --> 00:10:37,017 - Can you--aah? 229 00:10:37,085 --> 00:10:39,119 - The lord is my Shepherd... - Ugh! 230 00:10:39,187 --> 00:10:40,688 I shall not want. 231 00:10:41,957 --> 00:10:43,257 Aah! 232 00:10:43,325 --> 00:10:44,658 Whoo! 233 00:10:44,726 --> 00:10:45,726 Here we come! 234 00:10:46,795 --> 00:10:47,828 Three stooges gonna-- 235 00:10:49,031 --> 00:10:50,998 Aah! 236 00:10:51,066 --> 00:10:54,202 They shot us! Waste of time, waste of time! 237 00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:56,272 Let's go, fool! 238 00:11:03,113 --> 00:11:05,081 The last guy almost got me. 239 00:11:09,854 --> 00:11:10,920 ♪ ♪ 240 00:11:10,988 --> 00:11:12,055 My legs. 241 00:11:16,127 --> 00:11:19,328 Oh, Shirley, I'm so sorry. 242 00:11:19,396 --> 00:11:21,832 I'm going home, Britta. 243 00:11:21,899 --> 00:11:23,466 I know, Shirley, I know. 244 00:11:23,534 --> 00:11:25,535 No, seriously, I'm going home. 245 00:11:25,603 --> 00:11:26,536 Can you help me up? 246 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,370 Oh. Yeah, sure. 247 00:11:30,006 --> 00:11:31,006 Oh! 248 00:11:44,151 --> 00:11:45,551 Shirley, I'm gonna win that prize 249 00:11:45,619 --> 00:11:46,585 For you and your boys. 250 00:11:46,653 --> 00:11:48,020 That's nice. 251 00:11:48,088 --> 00:11:49,856 Shirley, I'm gonna win that prize, 252 00:11:49,923 --> 00:11:50,990 But not for you and your boys. 253 00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:53,059 That's less nice. 254 00:11:53,127 --> 00:11:55,728 Oh, my God, you've been hit. 255 00:11:55,796 --> 00:11:57,263 What? Oh, no. 256 00:11:57,331 --> 00:11:58,264 Wait, wait. 257 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:01,768 It's blood. 258 00:12:01,835 --> 00:12:04,337 I thought it was paint, but I'm just bleeding. 259 00:12:04,405 --> 00:12:07,540 Talk about luck, ooh. 260 00:12:07,608 --> 00:12:10,544 I can't believe this game is still going on. 261 00:12:10,611 --> 00:12:11,778 It's 2:00 A.M.! 262 00:12:11,846 --> 00:12:13,047 What if someone gets hurt 263 00:12:13,114 --> 00:12:14,282 And the police come? 264 00:12:14,349 --> 00:12:15,917 They'll think I'm a bad dean! 265 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,487 There's classes in the morning. 266 00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:19,788 This has to stop! 267 00:12:19,856 --> 00:12:21,090 Shh. 268 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,360 Put me in the game, 269 00:12:24,428 --> 00:12:25,995 'cause I'll take everyone out. 270 00:12:26,063 --> 00:12:28,431 I play paintball three times a week, bro. 271 00:12:28,499 --> 00:12:29,732 I'm even one of those douche bags 272 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,101 That brings in his own equipment. 273 00:12:31,169 --> 00:12:32,369 But it wouldn't be fair. 274 00:12:32,437 --> 00:12:33,537 You're not a student. 275 00:12:33,604 --> 00:12:35,405 But you can change that, can't you? 276 00:12:35,473 --> 00:12:36,640 Huh? 277 00:12:36,707 --> 00:12:39,009 Enroll me in a class. 278 00:12:49,388 --> 00:12:50,821 What are your interests? 279 00:12:50,889 --> 00:12:52,023 Arts and crafts. 280 00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:53,825 - Oh, I do watercolors. - Oh, cool. 281 00:12:58,864 --> 00:13:00,732 The group would be thrilled. 282 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,501 The wounded soldier fantasy 283 00:13:02,568 --> 00:13:04,336 Means we're moments from doing it, right? 284 00:13:04,404 --> 00:13:05,972 Yeah, can you feel that tension? 285 00:13:06,039 --> 00:13:09,141 It's a miracle we still have clothes on. 286 00:13:10,610 --> 00:13:12,910 You're right, you know. 287 00:13:12,978 --> 00:13:15,479 I am a phony. 288 00:13:15,547 --> 00:13:17,314 I try to act compassionate, 289 00:13:17,382 --> 00:13:19,283 Because I'm afraid that I'm not. 290 00:13:19,350 --> 00:13:21,418 Oh, please, I invented phony. 291 00:13:21,485 --> 00:13:23,086 You care about people. 292 00:13:23,153 --> 00:13:24,420 I accuse you of faking 293 00:13:24,488 --> 00:13:25,921 To convince myself I'm not such a jerk. 294 00:13:25,989 --> 00:13:28,289 Jeff, you help people more than I do, 295 00:13:28,357 --> 00:13:29,958 And you don't even want to. 296 00:13:30,025 --> 00:13:31,292 You're not-- you're not a jerk. 297 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:32,360 You're fine. 298 00:13:34,029 --> 00:13:35,597 Especially now that I've repaired 299 00:13:35,664 --> 00:13:36,764 Your overworked torso 300 00:13:36,832 --> 00:13:38,833 With my trembling feminine fingers. 301 00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:41,501 Yes. Too...Much... Sexual..Tension! 302 00:13:41,569 --> 00:13:43,269 Dam...Bursting! 303 00:13:43,337 --> 00:13:45,004 - Blah blah! - Aaah! 304 00:13:45,071 --> 00:13:46,505 You know, it would totally serve them right 305 00:13:46,573 --> 00:13:48,540 If we did it here in the study room. 306 00:13:48,608 --> 00:13:49,608 Oh, my God, could you imagine? 307 00:13:49,676 --> 00:13:51,009 I can't stop imagining. 308 00:13:51,077 --> 00:13:52,444 Neither can I. 309 00:13:52,512 --> 00:13:54,412 Baaah Aaaah! 310 00:14:01,606 --> 00:14:02,773 We should get dressed 311 00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:04,775 Before the third-shift librarian shows up. 312 00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:06,044 Yeah, we don't want this 313 00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:08,179 To turn into a letter to penthouse, right? 314 00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:09,981 I think the group is right. 315 00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:11,483 We did need to relieve some tension. 316 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,121 Please tell me you didn't have sex with me 317 00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,556 To win at paintball. 318 00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:19,691 No, I had sex with you, 319 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,559 And now I'm gonna win at paintball. 320 00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:22,961 Don't be gross. I'm gross? 321 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,531 You seem pretty practiced at putting on panties one-handed 322 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:26,799 While holding a gun. 323 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:32,505 Can I get dressed before you assassinate me? 324 00:14:32,573 --> 00:14:36,409 So all that happened, it meant nothing to you? 325 00:14:36,477 --> 00:14:38,278 I didn't say that. 326 00:14:38,346 --> 00:14:39,480 What did it mean to you? 327 00:14:39,547 --> 00:14:41,115 - I asked you first. - Very mature. 328 00:14:41,182 --> 00:14:42,750 Said the woman wearing the hello Kitty underwear. 329 00:14:42,818 --> 00:14:44,419 Said the woman holding the gun. 330 00:14:45,688 --> 00:14:47,689 You sure that's a gun? 331 00:14:47,757 --> 00:14:50,726 'cause maybe it's a metaphor for your fake, jaded persona. 332 00:14:50,794 --> 00:14:52,928 Uh-oh. 333 00:14:52,996 --> 00:14:56,298 No paintballs, Hans? What do you think, I'm stupid? 334 00:14:56,366 --> 00:14:58,167 - When'd you take my clip? - When you started seducing me. 335 00:14:58,234 --> 00:15:00,936 I wasn't though! Assuming that makes you way grosser. 336 00:15:01,004 --> 00:15:01,971 Not when I'm right. 337 00:15:29,833 --> 00:15:31,600 Buenos dias, children. 338 00:15:31,668 --> 00:15:32,701 You'll be happy to know 339 00:15:32,769 --> 00:15:34,036 You made it all the way till the end. 340 00:15:34,103 --> 00:15:35,170 You're not even a student! 341 00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:36,471 Wrong! 342 00:15:36,539 --> 00:15:39,508 Critical media literacy and politics of gender, biatch! 343 00:15:43,212 --> 00:15:44,880 Give me your clip. 344 00:15:44,947 --> 00:15:46,549 Oh, yeah, that would be brilliant of me. 345 00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:49,085 Look, you got the drop on me. I lost. 346 00:15:49,152 --> 00:15:50,352 Let me do this for you. 347 00:15:58,596 --> 00:16:00,831 Be pretty crazy if I shot you right now, huh? 348 00:16:05,237 --> 00:16:09,674 ♪ ♪ 349 00:16:34,831 --> 00:16:37,033 What's so funny, Chang? 350 00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:38,802 Maybe it's the fact there's no such thing 351 00:16:38,869 --> 00:16:41,238 As priority registration. 352 00:16:41,305 --> 00:16:45,143 Or...Maybe it's this. 353 00:16:45,210 --> 00:16:46,211 Ta-DA! 354 00:17:11,705 --> 00:17:12,705 Dean! 355 00:17:15,642 --> 00:17:17,577 Just one moment. 356 00:17:20,614 --> 00:17:21,915 Oh, hi there, Jeffrey. 357 00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:25,886 That's a good look for you. 358 00:17:25,953 --> 00:17:28,923 Everybody out there is shooting each other 359 00:17:28,990 --> 00:17:30,057 For nothing 360 00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:33,260 While you sit here 361 00:17:33,327 --> 00:17:34,995 In your ivory tower. 362 00:17:35,062 --> 00:17:37,096 Jeffrey, I can explain. 363 00:17:37,164 --> 00:17:39,399 I messed up when I promised priority registration. 364 00:17:39,466 --> 00:17:42,368 Apparently, it's a violation of some student equality act, 365 00:17:42,435 --> 00:17:44,069 But... 366 00:17:44,136 --> 00:17:45,070 This isn't. 367 00:17:45,137 --> 00:17:46,104 Ta-DA! 368 00:17:46,172 --> 00:17:48,005 - Okay, now, it's not blu-ray, 369 00:17:48,073 --> 00:17:50,240 But it comes with its own remote, so... 370 00:17:50,308 --> 00:17:52,943 Aah! 371 00:17:54,313 --> 00:17:55,446 Jeffrey! 372 00:17:55,514 --> 00:17:58,248 Aaah! 373 00:17:58,316 --> 00:17:59,616 Jeffrey! 374 00:18:00,819 --> 00:18:02,253 Jeffrey! 375 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:03,320 Jeffrey! 376 00:18:11,263 --> 00:18:12,997 You get it all out of your system? 377 00:18:21,339 --> 00:18:23,173 Almost. 378 00:18:26,577 --> 00:18:28,846 What do you want from me, Jeffrey? 379 00:18:28,913 --> 00:18:30,647 Guess. 380 00:18:38,623 --> 00:18:40,825 - Oh, hi, - Hey, how's it going? 381 00:18:40,892 --> 00:18:43,326 You still have some, uh, paint. 382 00:18:43,394 --> 00:18:44,428 Oh, thanks. 383 00:18:44,495 --> 00:18:45,929 Um, so I was thinking... 384 00:18:45,997 --> 00:18:47,864 - You don't even have to. - It didn't happen. 385 00:18:47,932 --> 00:18:49,065 It's not that it was a mistake. 386 00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:50,166 It's just that it didn't happen. 387 00:18:50,234 --> 00:18:51,701 It was a crazy night of paintball. 388 00:18:51,768 --> 00:18:53,069 Exactly. Tension relieving. 389 00:18:53,136 --> 00:18:55,004 Absolutely. No need to mention it to anyone. 390 00:18:55,071 --> 00:18:56,905 Right, no big deal. Nothing's changed. 391 00:18:58,975 --> 00:19:00,842 Something's changed. 392 00:19:00,909 --> 00:19:02,243 Oh, Abed. 393 00:19:02,311 --> 00:19:04,178 Crazy Abed. 394 00:19:04,245 --> 00:19:05,212 No, something's different now. 395 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,212 Could be me. 396 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:07,580 I'm sporting a man-thong. 397 00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:08,614 Maybe. 398 00:19:08,682 --> 00:19:10,082 Or maybe it's that 399 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,852 I have emerged victorious 400 00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:15,521 With a priority registration form. 401 00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:16,922 Ohh! 402 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,624 Well done, Jeff. 403 00:19:18,692 --> 00:19:20,860 And in recognition of her bravery, 404 00:19:20,928 --> 00:19:23,029 Not to mention her children, 405 00:19:23,097 --> 00:19:24,330 I hereby award this 406 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,232 To the best soldier, Shirley. 407 00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,233 Ohh! 408 00:19:27,301 --> 00:19:28,601 Now, the bad news is, 409 00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:29,903 For legal purposes, next semester, 410 00:19:29,971 --> 00:19:32,706 If anybody asks, you have gout. 411 00:19:32,774 --> 00:19:33,941 Do you mind walking with a limp? 412 00:19:34,008 --> 00:19:36,577 Mm. Thank you, Jeffrey. 413 00:19:36,645 --> 00:19:37,645 Look, honey. 414 00:19:37,713 --> 00:19:39,614 Wow, I didn't see that coming. 415 00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:41,249 Neither did I. 416 00:19:41,316 --> 00:19:42,784 So no one feels it? 417 00:19:42,851 --> 00:19:44,418 No one senses anything's different? 418 00:19:44,486 --> 00:19:45,419 Nope. 419 00:19:45,487 --> 00:19:46,487 Not at all. 420 00:19:46,555 --> 00:19:48,823 It's riding up a little. 421 00:19:55,129 --> 00:20:00,898 Sync by honeybunny Resync by Pippo Inzaghi 422 00:20:01,509 --> 00:20:04,243 Hey, Abed, it's Troy. Meet you at the flagpole in... 423 00:20:04,310 --> 00:20:06,278 If you are satisfied 424 00:20:06,346 --> 00:20:07,980 With your message, press one. 425 00:20:08,048 --> 00:20:09,581 To erase and re-record-- 426 00:20:09,649 --> 00:20:11,717 Hey, Abed, it's Troy! 427 00:20:11,785 --> 00:20:14,954 Yo, I'll meet you at the flagpole in like... 428 00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:16,956 - If you are satisfied with your message-- 429 00:20:17,023 --> 00:20:18,657 hey, Abed! 430 00:20:18,725 --> 00:20:20,692 It's Troy. Hee hee! 431 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,360 If you are satisfied with your message... 432 00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:24,396 In how many minutes are you gonna meet him? 433 00:20:24,463 --> 00:20:26,097 Uh, ten minutes. 434 00:20:26,165 --> 00:20:27,532 - To listen to your message-- 435 00:20:27,599 --> 00:20:28,799 - Hey, Abed, your girlfriend 436 00:20:28,867 --> 00:20:30,801 Will meet you at the flagpole in ten minutes. 437 00:20:30,869 --> 00:20:32,470 Good-bye. 438 00:20:32,537 --> 00:20:35,139 If you are satisfied with your message, press one. 439 00:20:35,207 --> 00:20:36,741 To erase and re-record-- 440 00:20:36,808 --> 00:20:37,875 - Did I sound like a jerk? 441 00:20:37,943 --> 00:20:40,278 To listen to your message, press three. 442 00:20:40,346 --> 00:20:42,581 To send-- 443 00:20:42,649 --> 00:20:45,718 hey, Abed, sorry to bother you. 444 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,820 Troy will meet you at the flagpole in ten minutes. 445 00:20:47,888 --> 00:20:48,988 Okay. 446 00:20:49,056 --> 00:20:50,690 - If you are satisfied with your message-- 447 00:20:50,758 --> 00:20:52,258 - Maybe you should just send a text message. 448 00:20:52,326 --> 00:20:53,259 Yeah.