1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:04,161
[###]
2
00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:08,700
Raisins don't belong
in a chocolate chip cookie.
3
00:00:08,908 --> 00:00:09,897
It gives them depth.
4
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:11,099
Hey, watch it, punk.
5
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:14,246
What are you, 80?
He's trying to bring back disco.
6
00:00:14,447 --> 00:00:17,644
I don't have to be old
to know it's not gonna happen.
7
00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:21,981
What it is, soul brother.
8
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,486
My boys are gonna make me
breakfast in bed for Mother's Day.
9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:27,524
I'm gonna make breakfast and get in
bed, but they're gonna bring it to me.
10
00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:28,887
Aw.
ANNIE: Aw.
11
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:30,824
I know. They said
the cutest thing last night.
12
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,726
They said, "Mama,"
they call me Mama...
13
00:00:32,932 --> 00:00:35,526
You're gonna be the fun police.
If I'm the fun police,
14
00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:37,362
then you're director
of Funland Security.
15
00:00:37,570 --> 00:00:38,764
[GROANING LOUDLY]
16
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,599
Good, more of this.
More of what?
17
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,775
What do you think?
The constant bickering.
18
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:44,375
It was cute at first, but...
19
00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:48,035
Well, Abed explains it best.
Jeff and Britta is no Ross and Rachel.
20
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:51,684
Your sexual tension, lack of chemistry
are putting us on edge, ironically,
21
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,410
on every level,
you're keeping us from being friends.
22
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,418
Jeff and I
do not have sexual tension.
23
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:57,851
We just argue all the time.
24
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,151
Oh, just like Sam and Diane.
25
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,554
I hated Sam and Diane.
26
00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:04,457
Who are Sam and Diane?
Okay, we get it. You're young.
27
00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:06,359
Sorry.
See what you're doing to us?
28
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,761
Want my advice?
Pork her and move on.
29
00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:11,094
We did it all the time in my day.
30
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:13,795
Yeah, you also put hydrogen
in blimps, that was bad.
31
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,133
PELTON:
Hey, everybody.
32
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:19,573
Just a reminder.
Our Spring Fling is on the quad today.
33
00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:22,111
Music, food, activities. What, what?
34
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:23,810
He makes me uncomfortable.
35
00:01:24,717 --> 00:01:25,809
Still in the room.
36
00:01:26,352 --> 00:01:29,321
There's also going to be a game
of Paintball Assassin
37
00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:31,251
with a prize for last man standing.
38
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:33,449
Or last man in a wheelchair
with no paint.
39
00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:34,649
Or last woman.
40
00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:37,489
Give it a rest, Britta.
What's the prize?
41
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:40,427
It was a Blu-ray DVD player,
but it was stolen.
42
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:42,157
So now it's TBD.
43
00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:44,666
I want TBD. Is that new?
44
00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:46,805
If it's what I think,
I had it in the '70s.
45
00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:50,840
Let's get back to Britta and Jeff.
There's no Britta and Jeff.
46
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,306
He said, fully erect.
47
00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:56,408
I'm gonna let you guys figure this out
while I go take a nap in my car.
48
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:02,447
What are you waiting for?
49
00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:03,622
[HUMMING]
50
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:04,983
[GRUNTS]
51
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,284
[THE 88'S "AT LEAST
IT WAS HERE" PLAYING]
52
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:36,912
[###]
53
00:02:37,123 --> 00:02:38,988
[WOMAN SCREAMS
IN DISTANCE]
54
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,798
What the hell?
55
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:02,808
Hello?
56
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,947
[MAN GROANING]
57
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:12,516
What is going on?
58
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:14,920
The paintball game was starting,
59
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:20,191
and the dean...
The dean announced the prize.
60
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,390
The prize.
61
00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:25,594
We turned on each other
like animals.
62
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:27,670
What was the prize?
Was?
63
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,307
This is not over.
64
00:03:29,509 --> 00:03:32,376
This is still happening right now.
65
00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:33,876
[YELLING]
66
00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:37,806
Leonard? Leonard, I'm not playing.
67
00:03:38,017 --> 00:03:40,577
Everyone's playing.
68
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:44,915
[###]
69
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:52,291
Aw.
70
00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:55,058
You suck.
71
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:02,168
Come with me if
you don't want paint on your clothes.
72
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:06,869
[THUDDING]
73
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,784
Hey. Look what I found
wandering the neutral zone.
74
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:15,982
Jeff Winger.
75
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,315
[LAUGHING]
76
00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:18,649
You son of a bitch.
77
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:19,847
[###]
78
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,050
I thought you were dead, man.
79
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:24,155
I was just taking a nap.
80
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:27,094
Has everyone lost their mind?
It's just a game of paintball.
81
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,392
Yeah. With one rule.
82
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,968
Last man standing gets the prize.
The prize.
83
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:34,731
The prize.
What is this prize?
84
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,203
[###]
85
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:38,399
You don't know.
86
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:43,406
Priority registration.
Priority registration?
87
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:47,042
That's why everyone's running
around like a bunch...
88
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,944
Does that mean what I think?
89
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:53,387
Like you could have first choice
of your classes next semester?
90
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:57,421
Easy, sugar bear.
91
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:00,190
But you could schedule
all your classes on a Monday
92
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,833
and take a six-day weekend.
93
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,935
You could do a lot of things.
94
00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:07,701
Talk him through the hunger.
Every student wants that prize, Jeff.
95
00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:10,341
No way to share it,
so we'll all turn on each other.
96
00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,636
But the longer we wait
to do that... Jeff.
97
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:15,040
The longer we work together,
the longer we last.
98
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,442
Everyone running in packs?
99
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:18,674
Debate team was first,
they fell to infighting.
100
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:21,376
The glee club is luring stragglers
into sniper traps
101
00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:23,179
with cheery renditions of songs.
102
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:24,378
Really?
103
00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:26,217
And people fall for that?
Yeah.
104
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:29,827
I mean, I'm all for winning,
but let's not resort to cheap ploys.
105
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:34,860
Are the girls in the game?
106
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,558
Britta?
No, I don't mean Britta.
107
00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:38,236
Did I say Britta?
Twice now.
108
00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:39,564
[###]
109
00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:41,205
Chess Club.
110
00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:43,805
No, no, no.
111
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,807
He's a pawn.
112
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,980
Checkmate, bitches.
113
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:05,024
And tell the drama club
their tears will be real today.
114
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:07,259
[TROY LAUGHS]
115
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,831
STAR-BURNS: No, that's all sugar, man.
Get some protein.
116
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,026
PIERCE:
Right here. Peanuts.
117
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:14,263
STAR-BURNS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Peanuts, peanuts.
118
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:16,908
No, take the stuff out closer to you.
No, no.
119
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,805
The ones in the back
are the freshest.
120
00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:21,002
STAR-BURNS:
That will keep us going. Yeah.
121
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,272
Hey.
122
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:24,643
What the hell?
I got you covered, bro.
123
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:26,785
You guys formed an alliance
without me?
124
00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,886
Yeah. You with Star-Burns?
125
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:30,949
Not if I can be with you.
126
00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:32,351
[PAINTBALL GUN FIRES]
127
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:33,820
[STAR-BURNS YELLS]
128
00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:35,015
It's just Star-Burns.
129
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,525
Anyone else need a pee break?
130
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:37,718
Yeah.
Yeah.
131
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,323
Hey.
Hey.
132
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,396
I'll stand guard.
I don't need to pee.
133
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,660
I'm wearing a diaper for the game.
Oh, yeah.
134
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:45,428
For the game.
135
00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:52,041
Hey, guys, make this quick before
Pierce's chewing attracts enemies.
136
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,413
[###]
137
00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:14,962
Um, guys?
Hold it.
138
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,226
Don't move.
TROY: Drop it.
139
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,633
[YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
140
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:29,639
All right, everybody, be cool.
141
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:32,682
We can beat the others if we merge.
We're doing fine.
142
00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,750
You win the game
camped on a crapper?
143
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:35,978
Worked on you.
Did it?
144
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,123
You have a gun in your face?
Matches yours.
145
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:40,292
Nice comeback.
Shut up.
146
00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:42,654
Jeez.
Jeez.
147
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:52,831
Okay.
148
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:54,631
So the agreement is we're allies
149
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:57,571
until we're sure
we're the last seven standing.
150
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:01,343
You thinking what I'm thinking?
Mm-hm.
151
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:03,139
Our team's walking with God.
152
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:05,943
I'm thinking we might already
be the only seven left,
153
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,643
in which case,
this is a window for the two of us
154
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,015
to take out the others.
155
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,885
Real nice, Troy, that'd be
great PR for the black students.
156
00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:15,390
I am not an ambassador.
157
00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:17,290
I am gladiator.
158
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,965
Now, you want to win or not?
159
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,793
Oh!
160
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,231
Troy made God mad.
161
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,337
Take cover.
162
00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:28,166
[###]
163
00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:29,534
SHIRLEY:
Run, Pierce.
164
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,841
[PEOPLE SINGING
IN DISTANCE]
165
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,548
Glee club.
How do you know it's the glee club?
166
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:41,242
Listen.
167
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:43,547
[SINGERS HARMONIZING]
168
00:08:43,756 --> 00:08:45,815
SINGERS:
♪ Hit me with your best shot ♪♪
169
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,322
Oh, brother.
170
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,462
That is so uninspired.
171
00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,392
I'm not so sure.
172
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,768
I got a plan. Get ready.
173
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:58,692
Hey, Pierce.
174
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,305
Don't come over here, okay?
175
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,498
Screw you. I'm coming over there.
176
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,872
Medic.
177
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:10,207
In the trees. There.
178
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:20,350
[GROANING]
179
00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:25,854
Write some original songs.
180
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,691
What are you gonna do
if you win priority registration?
181
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:33,098
I'll make my schedule airtight.
182
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,501
Maybe get out of here
in 3 years instead of 4.
183
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:39,667
I'd take any class with no tests
and no papers.
184
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:41,602
What would you do, Shirley?
185
00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:43,645
SHIRLEY:
I'd choose all morning classes
186
00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:46,613
so I could get home early
to spend some time with my boys.
187
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:49,117
It's hard being away from them
so much.
188
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:50,678
You know what?
189
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:54,257
I say if any of us win, we give it
to Shirley as a Mother's Day gift.
190
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,052
Absolutely.
JEFF: What?
191
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,786
Abed, you don't have to do that.
192
00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:01,763
I am so sick of you guilting people
with your phony humanitarian shtick.
193
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:04,266
Phony?
When I win, you can watch me do it.
194
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:06,495
Of course,
but that won't make it less phony.
195
00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:10,142
You'd be a lot more likeable...
If I never did anything for anybody?
196
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:13,540
Yeah. Because when you help people,
that always turns out great.
197
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,106
Let's do it.
198
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,009
[SQUEAKING]
199
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:18,183
Shh.
200
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:20,079
MAN [IN SING-SONG VOICE]:
Study group.
201
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,481
Come out and play.
202
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:26,249
Oh, look, it's post-ironic Disco Stu.
You still trying to bring it back?
203
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,721
[###]
204
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:29,087
Hi.
205
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,353
[SKATERS LAUGHING]
206
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:32,656
Damn, he brought it back.
207
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,261
[###]
208
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,629
MAN 1:
Put your hands in the air.
209
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:41,102
The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
210
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,778
[CLICKS EMPTY]
211
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,118
MAN 2:
They shot us.
212
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,413
MAN 3:
It's hot, it's hot. Let's go, fool.
213
00:10:57,289 --> 00:11:00,781
[PAINTBALL GUN FIRING
AND PEOPLE SCREAMING]
214
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:05,493
The last guy almost got me.
215
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,594
[###]
216
00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:12,495
My legs.
217
00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:19,802
Oh, Shirley, I'm so sorry.
218
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,311
I'm going home, Britta.
219
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,506
I know, Shirley, I know.
220
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,947
No, seriously, I'm going home.
Can you help me up?
221
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:29,587
Oh. Yeah, sure.
222
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,068
Shirley, I'm gonna win
for you and your boys.
223
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:48,501
That's nice.
224
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:52,041
Shirley, I'm gonna win that prize,
but not for you and your boys.
225
00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:53,541
SHIRLEY:
That's less nice.
226
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:56,381
Oh, my God, you've been hit.
What?
227
00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:57,776
Oh, no.
228
00:11:57,983 --> 00:11:59,473
Wait, wait.
229
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:01,953
It's blood.
230
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:05,148
I thought it was paint,
but I'm just bleeding.
231
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:07,120
Talk about luck.
232
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:12,256
I can't believe this game
is still going on. It's 2 a.m.
233
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,524
What if someone gets hurt
and the police come?
234
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,395
They'll think I'm a bad dean.
235
00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:20,228
There's classes in the morning.
This has to stop.
236
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:22,532
Shh.
237
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,372
Put me in the game,
because I'll take everyone out.
238
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,047
I play paintball
three times a week, bro.
239
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,580
I'm one of the douches
who brings his own equipment.
240
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:33,979
But it wouldn't be fair.
You're not a student.
241
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:37,178
But you can change that,
can't you? Huh?
242
00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:39,448
Enroll me in a class.
243
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,825
[BOTH LAUGHING]
244
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,637
What are your interests?
Arts and crafts.
245
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,305
Oh, I do watercolors.
Oh, cool.
246
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:57,567
[###]
247
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,074
[LAUGHS]
248
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,371
The group would be thrilled.
249
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:04,743
The wounded soldier fantasy means
we're moments from doing it, right?
250
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:09,580
Yeah, can you feel that tension?
It's a miracle we still have clothes on.
251
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,353
You're right, you know.
252
00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,754
I am a phony.
253
00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:19,356
I try to act compassionate,
because I'm afraid that I'm not.
254
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:21,897
Oh, please, I invented phony.
255
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:23,534
You care about people.
256
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:27,001
I accuse you of faking to convince
myself I'm not such a jerk.
257
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:30,175
Jeff, you help people more than I do,
and you don't even want to.
258
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,810
You're not a jerk. You're fine.
259
00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:37,408
Especially now that I've repaired
your overworked torso
260
00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:39,311
with my trembling
feminine fingers.
261
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:41,986
Yes. Too much sexual tension.
262
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,712
Damn bursting.
263
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,481
[BABBLING]
264
00:13:45,691 --> 00:13:49,024
It would totally serve them right
if we did it here in the study room.
265
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:51,492
God, could you imagine?
I can't stop imagining.
266
00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:52,891
Neither can I.
267
00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:54,292
[BABBLING]
268
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:06,403
We should get dressed before
the third-shift librarian shows up.
269
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:09,638
Yeah, we don't want this to turn
into a letter to Penthouse, right?
270
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,909
I think the group is right.
We did need to relieve some tension.
271
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,778
[###]
272
00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:19,583
Tell me you didn't have sex with me
to win at paintball.
273
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,283
No, I had sex with you,
and I'm gonna win at paintball.
274
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:24,018
Don't be gross.
I'm gross?
275
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,994
You seem pretty practiced
at putting on panties one-handed
276
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:28,257
while holding a gun.
277
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:32,360
Can I get dressed
before you assassinate me?
278
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:37,874
So all that happened,
it meant nothing to you?
279
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:40,944
I didn't say that.
What did it mean to you?
280
00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:42,579
I asked you first.
Very mature.
281
00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:45,841
Said the woman wearing Hello Kitty.
Said the woman holding the gun.
282
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,286
You sure that's a gun?
283
00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:52,184
Because maybe it's a metaphor
for your fake, jaded persona.
284
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,619
[CLICKS EMPTY]
285
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,259
Uh-oh.
286
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:57,759
No paintballs, Hans?
What do you think, I'm stupid?
287
00:14:57,963 --> 00:14:59,624
When'd you take it?
When you started seducing.
288
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:02,390
I wasn't though. Assuming that
makes you way grosser.
289
00:15:02,601 --> 00:15:04,193
Not when I'm right.
290
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,564
[###]
291
00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:35,500
Buenos dias, children.
You'll be happy to know you made it till the end.
292
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:37,396
You're not even a student.
CHANG: Wrong.
293
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,970
Critical Media Literacy
and Politics of Gender, biatch.
294
00:15:45,511 --> 00:15:48,002
Give me your clip.
Oh, that would be brilliant of me.
295
00:15:48,213 --> 00:15:50,511
Look, you got the drop on me. I lost.
296
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:52,741
Let me do this for you.
297
00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:02,251
Be pretty crazy
if I shot you right now, huh?
298
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:06,660
[###]
299
00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:34,782
[CHANG CACKLING]
300
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:38,489
What's so funny, Chang?
301
00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:42,155
Maybe it's the fact there's no such
thing as priority registration.
302
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:46,031
Or maybe it's this.
303
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:48,572
Ta-da.
304
00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:50,867
[CHANG CACKLING]
305
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:52,805
[BEEPING]
306
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:15,290
JEFF:
Dean.
307
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,026
Just one moment.
308
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:23,333
Oh, hi there, Jeffrey.
309
00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:27,473
That's a good look for you.
310
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:30,512
Everybody out there
is shooting each other
311
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:35,949
for nothing while you sit here
in your ivory tower.
312
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,419
Jeffrey, I can explain.
313
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:41,457
I messed up
when I promised priority registration.
314
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:43,821
It's a violation
of some student equality act,
315
00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:48,056
but this isn't. Ta-da!
316
00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:51,668
Okay, now, it's not Blu-ray, but it
comes with its own remote, so...
317
00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:53,462
[###]
318
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:55,071
[SCREAMS]
319
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:56,897
Jeffrey.
320
00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:59,703
[YELLING]
321
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,539
Jeffrey.
322
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,711
Jeffrey.
323
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,577
Jeffrey.
324
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,492
You get it all out of your system?
325
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:18,288
[###]
326
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:19,555
[LAUGHING]
327
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:24,596
Almost.
328
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:32,066
What do you want from me, Jeffrey?
Guess.
329
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,676
[SIGHS]
330
00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:35,847
[###]
331
00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:42,212
Oh, hi.
Hey, how's it going?
332
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:44,582
You still have some paint.
333
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,848
Oh, thanks.
334
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:48,151
Um, I was thinking...
You don't have to.
335
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,055
It didn't happen. It's not a mistake.
336
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:52,696
It didn't happen.
It was a crazy night of paintball.
337
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:54,160
Exactly. Tension relieving.
338
00:18:54,366 --> 00:18:56,334
Absolutely. No need
to mention it to anyone.
339
00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:59,402
Right, no big deal.
Nothing's changed.
340
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:02,002
Something's changed.
341
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:05,102
Oh, Abed. Crazy Abed.
342
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,868
No, something's different now.
343
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,775
Could be me. Sporting a man-thong.
Maybe.
344
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:13,179
Or maybe it's that I
have emerged victorious
345
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:16,954
with a priority registration form.
346
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:20,047
Well done, Jeff.
347
00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:24,025
And in recognition of her bravery,
not to mention her children,
348
00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:28,666
I hereby award this
to the best soldier, Shirley.
349
00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,035
Now, the bad news is,
for legal purposes,
350
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:34,296
next semester,
if anybody asks, you have gout.
351
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,474
Do you mind walking with a limp?
Mm.
352
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:39,041
Thank you, Jeffrey.
Look, Annie.
353
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:42,671
Wow, I didn't see that coming.
Neither did I.
354
00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:44,280
So no one feels it?
355
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:46,644
No one senses anything's different?
Nope.
356
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:47,910
Not at all.
357
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,213
It's riding up a little.
358
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:53,391
[###]
359
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,764
TROY: Hey, Abed, it's Troy.
I'll meet you at the flagpole in...
360
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:05,937
[BEEPS]
361
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:09,403
WOMAN [ON RECORDING]: If you are satisfied
with your message, press one.
362
00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:12,008
To erase and re-record...
Hey, Abed, it's Troy.
363
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:15,612
Yo, I'll meet you at the flagpole
in like...
364
00:20:15,814 --> 00:20:17,679
If you are satisfied
with your message...
365
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:21,046
[IN HIGH VOICE] Hey, Abed.
It's Troy. Heh-hooh.
366
00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:23,153
If you are satisfied
with your message...
367
00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:25,289
In how many minutes
are you gonna meet him?
368
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:26,616
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Ten minutes.
369
00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,122
To listen to your message...
370
00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:31,387
Abed, your girlfriend will meet you
at the flagpole in 10 minutes.
371
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:32,825
Goodbye.
372
00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:35,693
If you are satisfied
with your message, press one.
373
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,061
To erase and re-record...
374
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:38,429
Did I sound like a jerk?
375
00:20:38,637 --> 00:20:40,605
To listen to your message,
press three.
376
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:41,830
To send...
377
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,007
[BEEPS]
378
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,938
Hey, Abed, sorry to bother you.
379
00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:48,374
Troy will meet you at the
flagpole in 10 minutes.
380
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,945
Okay.
381
00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:51,540
If you are satisfied...
382
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,809
Maybe just send a text message.
Yeah.