Here is what happened last: Will's old rival, Bryan Ryan
Tried to cancel the club. You're done here.
Then he was really into it.
- *** - Then he tried to cancel it again.
You think you're helping these kids
when all you're doing is setting them up to be jaded and bitter.
Finn's mom's dating Kurt's dad, which was totally part of
Kurt's plan to get closer to Finn,
When will you learn that nothing is impossible
when it comes to love? Artie told Tina
what his greatest dream was, then realized
that not every dream is achievable.
Is that even a word-- achievable?
Achievatate? Achievalize?
Okay, you just said, like, ten offensive things.
Jessie pushed Rachel to find out who her mom was,
and it turns out it's Shelby Corcoran,
the coach of Vocal Adrenaline. I want a look that's so optimistic,
it could cure cancer. Geez. And that's
what you missed on Glee.
Am I in trouble?
Come on. You've got more self-esteem than that.
I think this might have something to do with
your perfect attendance last semester.
No. Miss Cohen-Chang is in trouble.
It has come to my attention that the look you sport
is what is known as goth. American teens are coming down
with a serious case of Twilight fever,
transformed from normal children
into vampires obsessed with the occult.
And only yesterday, this dark specter reared its head
at McKinley High.
This is totally going to get Robert Pattinson's attention.
[hissing]
Oh, hey. [girls roaring]
[all screaming] Oh, dear God!
I don't mean to state the obvious,
but you do know that vampires aren't real, right?
They don't exist.
William, denial will not make this problem go away!
My parents won't even let me watch Twilight.
My mom says she thinks Kristin Stewart seems like a bitch.
This is a serious problem!
Miss Cohen-Chang, you've got to find yourself
another style of dress! Hold on a second.
Tina is shy,
and one way she's found to express herself
is through her clothes.
High school is an incredibly important time
when kids get to explore who they are.
When I was in high school, I had a whole year where I dressed
exactly like Kurt Cobain. I mean, come on.
There has to be someone who you used to dress like.
Yes. For several years in my early 20s,
I dressed up as Elvis. But he was a Christian, Will!
And he did not possess the ability to transform into a bat!
[whispers]: I think he thinks vampires are real.
I think you're right.
Studies have shown that a strict dress code fosters
a safe and stable learning environment
with fewer instances of gang violence and vampirism.
So, if I see you dressed in lacy demon clothes again,
Tina Cohen-Chang, [pounds desk]
You will be suspended!
Sync By YesCool WwW.addic7ed.com
Step. Couple more.
Is there a car down here from me?
Honey, we're indoors.
Oh. Okay.
And open your eyes.
Sparkling cider? Yeah.
"Welcome home"? But who went somewhere?
Burt asked us to move in with them. And this is how you're telling me?
The party is my idea.
If you're gonna say something, say it loud, right?
BURT: Yeah. It's gonna take some getting used to, but trust me,
you're gonna love it, okay?
Now you don't have to drag your tail over here
every time you want to watch something on the old 55-incher.
We got a lot of food-- some ethnic food. It's some ethnicity
that's not ours. Tuna crudités. Tuna crudités. It's not ethnic.
Here you go.
CAROLE: Finn, this house is twice as big
as ours. It has two bathrooms.
Two and a half.
I don't want an extra bathroom or a tuna crude.
I just want my house back.
I think I know what this resistance is about.
Our room. And I couldn't agree more.
The palate in here is totally unflattering to your skin tone.
Not everyone can pull off Dior gray.
We need to redecorate. Wait, we're sharing a room?
I'm not cool with that!
CAROLE: Baby, I know it's weird, okay?
But can't be much of a surprise.
And, in time, you're gonna be as happy as I am.
Yeah, look, I'll knock out a wall upstairs,
I'll put an addition on, okay?
But-but until then, maybe this will
grease the wheels a bit, huh?
Oh. Hey.
Look, that's 300. Oh, my... Have at it.
You redecorate this place.
Don't worry, roomie.
Mr. Ikea Catalog and I will have this all figured out.
I am going to
put together a palate that expresses
who you are and who I want you to be.
Who you want to be. Hey, what night's game night?
You play Sorry?
You know... He will now. [chuckles]
I will... [singsongy]: Sorry.
I will beat you. It's so weird.
This so isn't you.
I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian.
Tina, are there any other looks you can try?
Biker chick? Cowgirl?
Hood rat. Computer programmer.
Cross-country skier. Catholic schoolgirl.
Happy Meal, no onions. Or a chicken.
Look, I appreciate it, guys, but it just isn't me.
I know who I am, and I'm not
allowed to show it. It's like communism.
Guys, we have a serious problem.
You know how I've been doing
some deep background on Vocal Adrenaline?
Isn't that against the rules? No, not at all.
Or probably. Whatever!
Anyway, what I figured out; I rooted through the Dumpsters
behind the Carmel auditorium and I found
18 empty boxes of Christmas lights.
Oh, no.
Which led me to Joelle Fabrics.
I asked them about red Chantilly lace.
They were sold out. Oh, sweet Jesus.
Oh, my. Wait, what?
- They're doing Gaga. - That's it. It's over.
Exactly. We should have guessed it.
They're going for full-out theatricality.
They know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them.
What's up with this Gaga dude?
He just, like, dresses weird, right? Like Bowie?
[scoffs] Lady Gaga is a woman.
She's only the biggest pop act
to come along in decades. She's boundary-pushing,
the most theatrical performer of our generation.
And she changes her look
faster than Brit changes sexual partners.
That's true.
ARTIE: It makes sense that
Vocal Adrenaline would pay homage.
It's a brilliant move. She's a perfect fit
for them. Hold on a second.
We might be able to kill two birds with one stone here.
We can help Tina
find a new look and nd
a competitive number for regionals.
This week, your assignment:
Gaga.
[gasping, murmuring] RACHEL: Pens, we need pens.
My ideas just come to me. Uh, my office.
Right there. I'm brainstorming. It's coming.
And claw, claw, uh, clap, clap.
And five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four... Think they can see us?
[whispering]: If they catch us,
are we gonna have to go to jail?
Stealing their ideas is not a crime.
SHELBY: ...six, seven, eight. And one, two...
Your shoes are making noise.
...and five, six, seven, eight.
And one, two, three, four, five, six and seven...
They look amazing. Claw, claw, uh, clap, clap.
And five, six-- uh, uh... Okay, okay, okay, just...
enough.
You guys aren't getting it.
Your letting the costumes do all the work.
Theatricality isn't about crazy outfits.
It's not enough to douse yourselves with gasoline.
You have to light yourselves on fire to make it work.
God, she's good. But being theatrical
doesn't mean you have to be a nuclear explosion.
It can be like, like a quiet storm. You just have to radiate emotion,
express what's deep inside you.
That's what theatricality is truly about.
Do I have to demonstrate? "Funny Girl," E flat.
♪ Barbra Streisand's "Funny Girl" ♪
Exactly what I would have done: Barbra.
I could do it in my sleep.
- * Funny - *
- * Did you hear that? - *
- * Funny - *
- * Yeah, the guy said, "Honey - *
- * You're a funny girl" - *
- * That's me - *
- * I just keep them in stitches - *
- * Doubled in half - *
- * And though I may be - *
- * All wrong for the guy - *
- * I'm good for a laugh - *
- * I guess it's not funny - *
- * Life is far from sunny - *
- Where are you going? - Get back here.
- * When the laugh is over - *
- * And the joke's on you - *
- * A girl ought to have - *
- * A sense of humor - *
- * That's one thing - *
- * You really need for sure - *
- * When you're a funny girl - *
- * The fella said "a funny girl" - *
- * Funny - *
- * How it ain't so funny - *
- * Funny girl. - *
Ms. Corcoran?
I'm Rachel Berry, I'm your daughter.
Did you ever regret it? Yes.
Then no. Then so much.
W-When did you realize it was the right time for me to find you?
[chuckles]
I saw you sing at sectionals. You were extraordinary.
You were me.
[chuckles]
Was it hard for you to not become a star?
To not have your dreams come true? It felt like a broken promise.
Like the Fisher King's wound-- never heals.
Wow. Genetics really are amazing.
You see the world with the same fierce theatricality as I do.
Even the way we're sitting right now is so dramatic,
and yet we feel so comfortable with it.
I've missed so much. How do you feel?
Thirsty.
When I was little and I used to get sad,
my dads would bring me a glass of water.
It got so I couldn't tell if I was sad
or just thirsty.
I shouldn't have done this.
This was supposed to feel good.
W-We were supposed to have some kind of
slow-motion run into each other's arms.
This is all wrong.
Maybe we can just go to dinner or something
just to get over the initial shock.
I'm so sorry, Rachel.
Uh... I'll... I'll call you.
Oh, hey, Finn, come on in.
I'm learning all this amazing stuff about Lady Gaga.
She's got this thing called the "Haus of Gaga," which is
like, this collective of artists and designers
who collaborate on, on her styles
and stage sets and her music.
I think it's an exciting model
for what we could be doing in Glee Club.
Yeah, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.
I don't want to do Lady Gaga.
And I suspect that... with the exception of Kurt...
that none of the other guys are gonna want to do it either.
I just feel like we're always doing whatever the girls want us to do.
Yeah. [Will] Yeah, you're right.
Maybe I haven't been listening to you guys hard enough.
So let's find a solution.
Well, I, uh, I actually already have one.
You're wrong.
It's a really good name. It's a rock star name.
You want to name our daughter "Jack Daniels"?
She's a girl!
Okay, fine, whatever. Jackie Daniels.
The name is not the point. I told you this.
I'm giving up the baby
so I don't have to do this with you.
This is good for you.
Now you can go off and be a rock star yourself.
I love wearing champagne bubbles!
I get to express a whole different side of myself!
Because even though I'm painfully shy
and obsessed with death, I'm a really effervescent person.
Excuse me! Were you dropped on your heads?!
What was that? I think you heard me.
I'm just saying.
Pick on me-- that's fine-- but don't throw around a girl.
Well, you know, lately,
we haven't been able to tell the difference.
We're not gaga for Gaga. You dress all freaky,
and then you rub it in everybody's faces.
I don't want to look at it all day!
It's weird. It makes my eyes tired.
If you want to switch it up a bit,
just go from Gap to Banana Republic.
It's called being theatrical. We're showing off who you are.
It's the same thing you do when you go to school
with your football uniforms on.
You're expressing yourself, and we have every right
to do the same. Well, you know what?
The next time you want to express yourself
a little like a circus freak, don't be shocked when my fist
feels like expressing itself against your chin!
Okay?
Knock that crazy fool crepe-paper nonsense offa you.
Let's go. Yeah, you don't want to be late for
your appointment at Supercuts!
Watch your mouth, homo!
And you know what, fancy? You don't need
an appointment at Supercuts. They love walk-ins.
- [both chortle] - [school bell rings]
Little monsters, take a bow. [Will laughs, applause]
All right! Ladies, Kurt, I am really, really impressed.
Sientete. You know, you know what the best part is?
Each one of those costumes shows off a different aspect
of your personalities. Wait. Where's Rachel?
I mean, I only noticed because, like,
five minutes have gone by
without her saying something totally obnoxious.
Rachel kinda got some intense news yesterday.
We were spying on Vocal Adrenaline, and...
You guys, that's not fair! You gotta stop doing that.
But, uh, you know, what, what'd you find out?
- Okay, y'all ready? - Miss Corcoran, their coach?
She's Richel's mom. Are you serious?
Way to bury the lead, Mercedes.
PUCK: We're screwed.
Rachel's gonna jump ship over to Vocal Adrenaline. Never.
I really don't want to talk about it, though.
I'm still processing the news.
And my dads are moving my therapist to our spare room
later this afternoon.
All I can know is that I'm not going anywhere,
and I've chosen a Lady Gaga look
that expresses the longing for a childhood
I was deprived of.
You look terrible. I look awesome.
I think it's the Kermit-the-Frog look.
KURT: And we have a jumper. Well, my dads can't sew,
so these are just stapled on.
Guys, why don't we worry about this later,
and maybe try to focus on the song?
Couldn't agree more. Hit it!
# Lady GaGa - Bad Romance #
- * Rah-rah, ah-ah-ah! Roma-Roma-ma-ah! - *
- * Gaga, ooh-la-la! - *
- * Want your bad romance - *
- * I want your ugly, I want your disease - *
- * I want your everything as long as it's free - *
- * I want your love - *
- * Love, love, love, I want your love - *
- * I want your psycho, your vertical stick - *
- * Want you in my rear window, baby, it's sick - *
- * I want your love - *
- * Love, love, love, I want your love, love, love - *
- * I want your love - *
- * You know that I want you - *
- * And you know that I need you - *
- * Because I'm a freak, baby! - *
- * I want it bad, bad romance - *
- * I want your loving and I want your revenge - *
- * You and me could write a bad romance - *
- * Oh-oh-oh-oh - *
- * I want your loving, all your love is revenge - *
- * You and me could write a bad romance - *
- * Whoa-oa-oa-oa, oa-oa-oa, oa-oa - *
- * Caught in a bad romance - *
- * Walk, walk, fashion, baby, work it - *
- * Move that thing, crazy walk, walk - *
- * Fashion, baby, work it - *
- * Move that thing, crazy walk, walk - *
- * Fashion, baby, work it, move that thing - *
- * Crazy walk, walk, passion, baby, work it - *
- * I'm a freak, baby - *
- * I want your love and I want your revenge - *
- * I want your love, I don't want to be bad - *
- * Whoa-oa-oa-oa - *
- * Want your bad romance - *
- * Caught in a bad romance - *
- * Want your bad romance - *
- * I want your loving and I want your revenge - *
- * You and me could write a bad romance - *
- * Whoa-oa-oa-oa - *
- * I want your loving, all your love is revenge - *
- * You and me could write a bad romance - *
- * Whoa-oa-oa, oa-oa-oa - *
- * Want your bad romance - *
- * Caught in a bad romance - *
- * Want your bad romance - *
- * Whoa-oa-oa, oa-oa-oa - *
- * Want your bad romance - *
- * Caught in a bad romance - *
- * Rah-rah, ah-ah-ah! - *
- * Roma-Roma-ma-ah! - *
- * Gaga, ooh-la-la! - *
- * Want your bad romance. - *
All right!
What up, Finn? What's that on your face?
You got a bad pimple or something? A Finn-ple?
[both laugh]
Dude, are you wearing makeup?
I knew it was contagious.
You moved in with that little Kurt kid,
and now you got a bad case of the gay.
It's just something for Glee Club, all right?
Oh, well, then it's definitely not gay, huh?
Get out of my way!
Man, how many times do we got go through this?!
You being a jock and being in this Glee Club
does not make you versatile. It makes you bisexual.
And if we have to kick your ass
to make you understand that,
then our schedules are wide open.
Get out of my bathroom.
You girls, y'all belong across the hallway.
Glee boy!
[Karofsky laughs]
[sighs]
[dance music playing]
[music stops]
Yeah, that's better, guys. Take five.
And, ladies, I don't want to hear about chafing
just because you're being forced to wear metal underwear.
Not my problem.
Mom?
Hon, you gotta stop sneaking into these rehearsals.
It's kind of important.
Oh, dear God.
My dads can't sew.
I really need a mom right now.
Do you think you can help?
Sorry I'm late.
Whoa, looking good, Rachel!
Thanks.
My mom made it. Very nice.
[Mercedes laughs]
Well, we're all here, so without further ado,
I'd like to introduce The Boys!
ARTIE: Lima, Ohio, get ready to rock!
- [girls laugh] - [KISS' "Shout It Out" begins] - [cheering]
- * Well, the night is young and you want some fun - *
- * Do you think you're gonna find it? - *
- * Think you're gonna find it? - *
GIRLS: Whoo! - * You got to treat yourself like number one - *
- * Do you need to be reminded? - *
- * Need to be reminded? - *
Whoo! - * It doesn't matter what you do or say - *
- * Just forget the things that you've been told - *
- * We can't do it any other way - *
- * Everybody's got to rock and roll - *
- * Oh, oh, oh, ooh ! - *
- * Shout it, shout it - *
- * Shout it out loud! - *
- * Shout it, shout it - *
- * Shout it out loud! - *
- * If you don't feel good - *
- * There's a way you could - *
- * Don't sit there broken-hearted - *
- * Sit there broken-hearted! - *
- * Call all your friends in the neighborhood - *
- * And get the party started - *
- * Get the party started - *
- * Don't let 'em tell you that there's too much noise - *
- * They're too old to really understand - *
[girls laughing]
- * You'll still get rowdy - *
- * With the girls and boys - *
- * 'Cause it's time for you to take a stand - *
- * Yeah, yeah - *
- * Yeah! Shout it, shout it - *
- * Shout it out loud! - *
- * You got to have a party - *
- * Shout it, shout it - *
- * Shout it out loud! - *
- * Turn it up louder - *
- * Shout it, shout it - *
- * Shout it out loud! - *
- * Oh, yeah-yeah! - *
- * Shout it, shout it - *
- * Shout it out loud! - *
- * Hear it getting louder - *
- * Shout it, shout it - *
- * Shout it out loud! - *
[song ends]
[girls cheering]
All right, guys, very impressive.
Very, very... loud. [chuckles]
But what, uh, what does that performance express?
And what do those costumes illustrate?
We did our research, Mr. Shue.
Yeah, Finn's demon look
is because Gene Simmons liked comic books as a kid,
and they called Paul Stanley the "Star Child"
because he was a romantic or something.
But that doesn't really explain my whore lips.
And my Ace Frehley is supposed
to be a spaceman from another planet.
Mike's iconic catman
is because Peter Criss claimed to have nine lives.
Yeah, And I'm dressed as the guy who replaced Artie when he quit.
Well, congratulations, guys. Job well done.
Let's give it up for the boys!
[cheering]
I thought the boys' KISS number was good,
although the lyrics did leave something to be desired.
And Finn kept sticking his tongue out
and I couldn't stop picturing him licking stuff.
It was disturbing.
We warned you.
Now Gaga's got to go.
Could you have a word with Azimio and Karofsky
about harassing me without damaging my Gaga outfit?
Are you serious?
Do you know how difficult it is with those guys?
They already think we're boyfriends.
Let them think what they want.
They're Neanderthals.
In three years, they'll be cleaning my septic tank.
Don't you get it? It's not just them.
We live in Ohio--
not New York or San Francisco or some other city
where people eat vegetables that aren't fried.
I don't understand why you always need
to make such a big spectacle
of yourself.
Why can't you just work harder at blending in?
I'm sure that'd be easier for you.
You know, it would.
You are such a boy.
You're going to have to use a moist towelette
if you want to get that makeup off.
Don't touch me!
What is your problem, Finn?
It's just a moist towelette!
I'm gonna finish in the laundry room.
Grow up, Finn!
I know why you called, and don't worry about it.
My reconnection with Rachel is not some kind of plot
to mess with you guys before regionals.
I'm not worried about regionals.
It's Rachel.
She's special.
She's got all of the best of you.
She's strong-willed, dramatic,
wildly talented.
Go on.
But she's not hard like you.
She's fragile.
over-emotional.
And she's clearly convinced herself
that you are as committed to this reunion
as she is.
And I don't think you are.
You're not prepared to have
a teenage daughter.
Are you?
I can't have any more kids.
There were issues
a few years back.
Then some surgery, and that's that.
I really wanted a daughter.
That's why it was so important to me
to make that bond with her.
But you're right.
I wanted my baby back.
Rachel's an adult now.
She doesn't need me.
Shelby,
I can't tell you what to do...
But if you really love her,
you have to tell her
what you just told me.
KURT: I had to skip school to finish it,
but I think you're really going to like it.
Consider it a peace offering after all the yelling
that we've been doing.
I used Marlene Dietrich and Gary Cooper in Morocco
as my inspiration.
It's a perfect blend of the masculine and the feminine,
the muted and the theatrical.
Are you freaking insane?
I can't live here. I'm a dude.
What the hell is that
supposed to be?
It's a privacy partition
It's all I could find on such short notice.
Why are you getting angry about everything?
I worked hard on thi
That's not a privacy partition!
Why is it so hard for you
to understand?
I don't want to get dressed in front of you!
Do you know that
I put my underwear on in the shower
before I come out when you're around?
I just... I don't want to have to worry
about that kind of stuff in my own room, man.
And what stuff are you referring to?
You know. You know what I'm talking about.
Don't play dumb.
Why can't you just accept that I'm not like you?
I have accepted that. No, you haven't.
You think I don't see the way you stare at me?
How flirty you get.
You think I don't know why you got so excited
that we were going to be moving in together?
It's just a room, Finn!
We can redecorate it if you want to!
Okay, good.
Well, then the first thing that needs to go
is that faggy lamp.
And then we need to get rid of this faggy couch cover...
Hey!
What did you just call him?
Oh, no, no, I didn't call him anything.
I was talking to the blanket.
If you use that word, you're talking about him.
Relax, Dad. I didn't take it that way.
Yeah, that's because you're 16
and you still assume the best in people.
You live a few years,
you start seeing the hate in people's hearts.
Even the best people.
You use the "N" word?
Of course not.
How about "retard"?
You call that nice girl in Cheerios! with Kurt, you call her a retard?
Becky-- no. She's my friend. She's got Down syndrome.
I'd never call her that. That's cruel.
But you think it's okay to come into my house
and say "faggy"?
That's not what I meant... I know what you meant!
What, you think I didn't use that word when I was your age?
You know, some kid
gets clocked in practice,
we'd tell him to stop being such a fag.
Shake it off.
We meant it exactly
the way you meant it.
That being gay is wrong.
That it's some kind
of punishable offense.
I really thought you were different, Finn.
You know, I thought that being in Glee Club
and being raised by your mom
meant that you were some, you know,
new generation of dude who saw things differently.
Who just kind of, you know, came into the world
knowing what has taken me years of struggling
to figure out.
I guess I was wrong.
I'm sorry, Finn, but you can't... you can't stay here.
Dad.
I love your mom.
And maybe this is going to cost me her,
but my family comes first.
I can't have that kind of poison around.
This is our home, Kurt.
He is my son.
Out in the world, you do what you want,
but not under my roof.
The place looks great.
- You should be in orbit. - My balls keep fallinoff.
Been there.
I want to talk about this.
There's not much to say.
I feel sorry for you. I thought you were different.
I am different.
WILL: All right, let's get things started.
Mr. Shue.
There's something I want to say to Quinn.
And I want everybody to hear it.
All right.
At first I didn't really get this theatrical assignment,
being larger than life and putting it all out there,
'cause I'm kind of like that all the time.
That's how my dad was, too.
He was too busy being all crazy and rock and roll
to be there for his kid.
And you know what?
I didn't care that my dad was a badass.
I just wanted him to be there.
And he never was.
And then I learned
all this KISS stuff
and while Jackie Daniels is a great name for like
a powerboat or something, it's not right for a baby girl.
So if my KISS mates
will help me out, I got a better idea.
Grab a stool, guys.
[KISS' "Beth" intro playing]
- * Beth, I hear you calling - *
- * But I can't come home right now - *
- * Me and the boys are playing - *
- * And we just can't find the sound - *
- * Just a few more hours - *
- * And I'll be right home to you - *
- * I think I hear them calling - *
- * Oh, Beth, what can I do? - *
- * Beth, what can I do? - *
- * You say you feel so empty - *
- * That our house just ain't our home - *
- * I'm always somewhere else - *
- * And you're always there alone - *
- * Just a few more hours - *
- * And I'll be right home to you - *
- * I think I hear them calling - *
- * Oh, Beth, what can I do? - *
- * Beth, what can I do? - *
- * Beth, I know you're lonely - *
- * And I hope you'll be all right - *
- * 'Cause me and the boys will be playing all night - *
- * All night. - *
I know you're giving her up,
but before you do, I think you should name her Beth.
If you'll let me,
I'd really like to be there when she's born.
I'd really like to meet her.
So, how'd your dads come up with the name "Rachel"?
They were, um, big Friends fans.
I know why you're here...
to say good-bye.
I really wanted this to work.
Do you know what really turned me?
That story that you told me about your dads,
and how they'd bring you water
when you were sad.
We're never gonna have anything like that.
It's too late for us.
I just think that anything we share right now
is gonna be confusing for you.
I just don't understand.
You're my mom.
I feel awful right now, and I should want
to just fall into your arms and let you rock me
and tell me everything is gonna be fine, but...
I just don't feel it.
It's because I'm your mother, but I'm not your mom.
So what? Do we just pretend we don't know each other now?
That seems silly.
Let's just be grateful for one another...
from afar.
For a while.
Don't think for a second I'm gonna
go soft on you during regionals.
[sniffles] Bring it. [chuckles]
Can I have a hug good-bye?
Sure.
[sniffles]
Can you do me one more favor?
Sometime when you're thirsty...
can you get yourself some water from this cup?
Gold stars are kinda my thing.
Of course. [chuckles]
Shelby...
before you go, will...
will you sing with me?
Just one time.
It's sort of a fantasy of mine,
and it would really mean a lot to me.
I would be honored.
Brad!
He's always just around.
Um, take that.
Here you go.
[chuckles]
♪ Lady GaGa's Poker Face ♪
- * I want to hold 'em like they do in Texas, please - *
- * Fold 'em, let 'em hit me, raise it - *
- * Baby, stay with me - *
- * Love the game, and intuition - *
- * Play the cards with spades to start - *
- * And after he's been hooked - *
- * I'll play the one that's sewn his heart - *
- * Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh, oh - *
- * I'll get him hot and show him what I got - *
- * Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh, oh-oh, oh - *
- * Oh-oh, oh, I'll get him hot - *
- * And show him what I got - *
- * Can't read my, can't read my - *
- * No, he can't read my poker face - *
- * She's got to love nobody - *
- * Can't read my, can't read my - *
- * No, he can't read my poker face - *
"She's got to love nobody. - She's got to love nobody"
Poker face, p-p-poker face - *
- * P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face - *
- * I want to roll with him - *
- * A hard pair we will be - *
- * A little gambling is fun - *
- * When you're with me - *
- * Russian roulette is not the same without a gun - *
- * And, baby, when it's love - *
- * If it ain't rough, it isn't fun - *
- * Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh-uh-oh-oh, oh - *
- * I'll get him hot - *
- * Show him what I got - *
- * Can't read my - *
BOTH: - * No, he can't read my poker face - *
- * She's got to love nobody - *
- * Can't read my, can't read my - *
- * No, he can't read my poker face - *
- * She's got to love nobody - *
- * I won't tell you that I love you - *
- * Kiss or hug you - *
- * 'Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin - *
- * I'm not lying - *
- * I'm just stunnin' with love-glue-gunnin' - *
- * Just like a chick in the casino - *
- * Take your bank before I pay you out - *
- * I promise this, I promise this - *
- * Check this hand - *
- * 'Cause I am marvelous - *
- * I'm marvelous - *
- * So marvelous - *
- * She's got to love nobody - *
- * Can't read my, can't read my - *
- * No, he can't read my poker face - *
- * She's got to love nobody. - *
You are really, really good.
[sniffling]
[school bell ringing] Whoa!
Guys, why are you all in your theatricality costumes?
It's the end of the week. We were kinda hoping
to learn what the lesson of the assignment was.
Well, um...
you guys have had some great numbers this week,
but I'm not totally sure that I know either.
[all laugh]
I do.
I refuse to dress like somebody I'm not
to be somebody I'm not.
And I learned it's good to be a little theatrical.
[gasps]
So here's what's going to happen.
My dad-- he's the king of the vampires.
And Asian vampires are the most vicious of all the vampires.
You're going to let me wear my lady demon clothes,
or my dad will fly into your bedroom and bite your face off.
He's really pissed.
Is that what you want?
No, I don't want that. I'm afraid.
Good. I'm glad we had this talk.
Now I have to go back to my coffin
because the light is burning my eyes!
[applause] There she is.
[all cheering]
Wait. Where's Kurt?
Where's Finn?
Fine.
You want to hit me?
You want to beat me up? Go ahead.
But I swear to you I will never change.
I'm proud to be different.
It's the best thing about me.
So go ahead, hit me.
I believe I will.
Sir, would you like to go first?
FINN: You're not hitting anyone.
Oh, my God.
Is he wearing a red rubber dress or am I trippin'?
I want to thank you, Kurt.
I realize I still have
a lot to learn,
but the reason I'm here right now...
in a shower curtain,
is... because of you.
And I'm not going to let anyone lay a hand on you.
[chuckles] Oh, really, dude?
'Cause I'm pretty sure we can take both of you.
PUCK: Yeah?
But can you take all of us? AZIMIO: Okay.
Okay, I get it.
I took biology. You know what, Karofsky?
We done disturbed the freak hive.
The worker freaks is trying to protect the queen freak.
Next time...
we'll bring some friends, too.
I'm tired of everyone calling us freaks.
Welllook at us. We are freaks.
[all laugh]
But we're all freaks together.
And we shouldn't have to hide it.
[Will clapping]
Nice job, Finn.
I think you just figured out what the lesson was.
Kinda makes me wish I had planned it.
But Mercedes is right, You do all look incredibly insane.
Thank you. Thank you. You're so welcome.
WILL: Anyways, let's get back to work
before you're all forced to join the circus.
Next stop? Regionals.
Transcripted By YesCool www.addic7ed.com