1
00:00:00,700 --> 00:00:02,700
It was Saturday night
in New York City,
2
00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,200
and the young metropolit
was out on the town,
3
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:08,600
living the kind of crazy lifestyle
you can only find in the Big Apple.
4
00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:10,400
- 97.
- 97.
5
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:11,800
- 98.
- 98.
6
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,800
- 99.
- 99.
7
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,800
100!
8
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:20,200
A hundred? We only got to 82
on our honeymoon.
9
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,700
So, Robin?
I've got a guy for you.
10
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,900
- He's cute. He's funny. He's smart.
- What's his "but"?
11
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:28,100
What do you mean?
12
00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:29,300
When someone wants
to set you up,
13
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,300
they always tell you
their good qualities first, but
14
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:33,100
then they leave out
their huge flaw.
15
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,600
She's totally hot
and really fun.
16
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,200
But she has a dead tooth.
17
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:40,500
She's super-hot,
and she's so successful.
18
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:43,700
But she has a pug that
she pushes around in a stroller.
19
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,800
She's so cute,
and she's so smart.
20
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,600
But her last boyfriend had
to get a restraining order against her,
21
00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,900
and then his cat and new vacuum
cleaner both went missing.
22
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,600
Wow! Set it up!
23
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:57,000
I'm still convinced she
killed my turtle.
24
00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,000
Hey, you know what?
Not every setup has a "but."
25
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,700
What about, um, Jamie, that girl
that Lily set you up with?
26
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:03,600
She was really nice.
27
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:05,500
If memory serves me,
she had a huge "but."
28
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:06,800
Her huge butt.
29
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,800
Nailed it!
30
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:10,700
Well, there's nothing wrong
with this guy.
31
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,000
He's really nice,
and he's really cute...
32
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000
But?
33
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,800
Fine.
34
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,100
But he has a kid.
35
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:20,700
Aha! There it is! Robin's not
going out with a guy with a kid.
36
00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:23,100
But the guy is really great,
and his kid's sweet.
37
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,800
- He's in my class.
- It doesn't matter. Robin hates kids.
38
00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:27,800
I don't hate kids.
39
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,800
You told me even when you
were a kid, you hated kids.
40
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,900
Robin, will you watch
cartoons with me?
41
00:01:33,900 --> 00:01:35,500
I go to school all week.
44
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:45,300
Okay, yes, kids are not my favorite
thing in the world,
45
00:01:45,300 --> 00:01:47,700
- but I like them.
- Well, you don't want to have them.
46
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,100
I like sports cars,
47
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:51,600
but it doesn't mean I want to
push a Ferrari through my vagina.
48
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,000
Shotgun.
49
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:56,900
You can't blame us for thinking
that the kid would be a problem.
50
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,700
I mean, if we were friends
with Garfield,
51
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:00,400
we wouldn't set him up
on a date with Mondays.
52
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,700
You know what?
The kid is not a problem.
53
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:04,600
I want to meet this guy.
54
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,800
- Okay. That's awesome!
- Yeah.
55
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:09,100
Hey, what's my "but"?
56
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:12,300
You know, I'm a...
I'm really nice, but...
57
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,100
But she's afraid of commitment.
58
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,700
But she's a gun nut.
59
00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,200
But she's Canadian.
60
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,100
But she didn't like Field of Dreams.
61
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,500
- I can't think of...
- You don't have a "but."
62
00:02:22,282 --> 00:02:24,782
Sync by vNaru
63
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,300
Okay. I've got it.
64
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,200
Here. Put on this eye patch.
65
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,900
- Why?
- The ultimate ice-breaker.
66
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:48,300
A bunch of cobras got loose
in Central Park.
67
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,700
You and I are jogging...
68
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,400
training for the Death Valley Iron Man.
69
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,200
No big deal.
We do it every year.
70
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:56,600
Suddenly,
71
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,600
we see these snake bastards
72
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:03,200
sneaking towards a little baby.
Not on our watch.
73
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:09,300
You grab the kid, I strangle
six cobras with my bare hands.
74
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,500
Women of New York,
one at a time, please.
75
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:15,700
So what are the eye patches for?
76
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,600
- We got bit.
- On the eye?
77
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,100
Yes.
78
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,000
Both of us?
79
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:25,300
They're different eyes.
I don't know see why this bumps you!
80
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,000
Patch up!
81
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,800
So Robin went on a date
with George,
82
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:32,200
the guy with the kid,
and afterwards...
83
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:33,900
Okay, here's the thing.
84
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:37,400
George is a great guy.
We had a wonderful date.
85
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:38,800
But?
86
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:41,000
Great. I can't wait
to meet him.
87
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:42,800
"Can't wait to meet him"?
88
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,700
Why did I say that?
I don't want to meet his kid.
89
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,900
Well, you knew you'd meet him
sooner or later.
90
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,900
Oh. I was just hoping
for later, like
91
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,200
in 20 years when I'm a cougar
and he's as hot as his dad.
92
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,900
Robin, what's the big deal?
He's just a kid.
93
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,700
He's not going to bite.
94
00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,200
He may bite.
We're working on biting.
95
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:04,700
Why is this kid around anyway?
Shouldn't he be with his mom?
96
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:06,500
I mean, what kind of lawyer
does this guy have
97
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,500
if he has to take care
of the kid all the time?
98
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,100
A good one.
He won full custody.
99
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,500
He won?! He won?
100
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,600
Oh, God, getting the kid
is winning, isn't it?
101
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:20,500
Don't tell anyone I said that.
102
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,900
I'm going out
buying eye patches.
103
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,700
What are you doing
to help score chicks?
104
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,100
Okay, I'm going to let you in
on a little secret.
105
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,600
People with real game don't
need eye patches.
106
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:34,500
Theodore. No, no, no.
107
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,900
You can't spell "game"
without "me",
108
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:40,500
and "me" has the best game.
109
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:43,800
Yeah, well, I got so much game,
I'm Cornish game hen.
110
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,900
Oh, yeah? I'm the New York State
gaming commissioner.
111
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,600
Well, I'm The Game.
Well-crafted,
112
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,500
keep-you-guessing thriller starring
Michael Douglas and Sean Penn.
113
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,600
You're here
and not in stall two.
114
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,700
Yeah. So?
115
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,900
I may have made some
116
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:06,100
wildly inappropriate homoerotic comments
to a gentleman wearing your shoes.
117
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,300
- Okay, Marshall?
- Yes.
118
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,800
Which one of us has more game?
119
00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:14,600
Neither of you guys has
any game, right?
120
00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:16,800
Or else you'd be married
like me.
121
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:18,500
What?
122
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:22,200
If dating is the game,
then marriage is winning the game.
123
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:25,100
Yeah. If you're playing
in the women's league.
124
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,100
You're joking.
I have mad game, brah.
125
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:33,600
One: we agreed not
to ever say "brah" anymore.
126
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,800
It was a good week,
we had a lot of fun, but it's over.
127
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:40,400
Two: you've been with Lily
for 11 years.
128
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,500
Your idea of good game is
129
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:47,400
slapping on a Dr. Seuss hat and flashing
two tickets to a Spin Doctors concert.
130
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:50,000
Yeah, I hate to say it, buddy, but, uh,
you're kind of irrelevant.
131
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,700
What? I am not irrelevant.
132
00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:54,400
I know tons of stuff.
I can help you guys.
133
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,400
I don't want to be left out.
134
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,700
Ted, you do not have
more game than me.
135
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:02,600
By sheer numbers alone, I win.
Come on, dude. You've seen my list.
136
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:03,900
You guys want to hear one of my lines?
137
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:07,500
First of all, I did not ask to see
that list, and I am still horrified.
138
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,000
And true game
is about quality, not quantity,
139
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,900
and a quality girl would pick me
over you any day.
140
00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:15,100
Are you a model?
141
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,100
That one's good because
it's flattering. To the girl.
142
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:24,800
Ted, I challenge you
to a picking up girls Olympiad.
143
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,600
- Fine.
- There will be 26 events
144
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,600
spread out over 11 weeks.
145
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:32,800
We will travel to a neutral city
where a panel of international judges...
146
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,900
Or we could just choose a girl,
and the first one to seal the deal wins?
147
00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:36,000
That's good, too.
148
00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,300
How about her?
149
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,700
You're on.
150
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:44,600
Before we start, why don't we jot down
a few basic ground rules?
151
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,700
Okay, great. Rule #1:
no eye patches or props of any...
152
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,500
One time, I was with this girl,
and I tried that model line,
153
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:56,100
and I totally got
some over-the-shirt boob action
154
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,200
in the "Just Say No" assembly.
155
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,500
Man, just stop.
You're bumming everybody out.
156
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:09,000
Rule #2: this bet is
for one million dollars.
157
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,100
- I win.
- How?
158
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,700
Oh, I slept with her.
About a year ago. I just forgot.
159
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,200
Oh, well, that doesn't count.
The bet started the moment we shook.
160
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:21,100
But I can't sleep
with her again. She hates me.
161
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:24,600
Oh. Interesting. Look who just took
a commanding lead.
162
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,600
Now with you out of the picture,
I can take my sweet time.
163
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,500
- Ted, she's leaving.
- Get out of my way.
164
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:34,100
By the look of those shoes,
here comes your bathroom buddy.
165
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:42,900
Look who's got game.
166
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,000
So, you're a big kids person, huh?
167
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,900
Only the biggest ever.
168
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:51,300
I think kids are so great,
169
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,600
especially, um, the little ones.
170
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:57,800
You know, uh... pudgy,
can't sit up, don't have teeth yet.
171
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,500
- You mean babies?
- Yeah, I like that kind.
172
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:04,600
- Well, Doug's almost six, so...
- Oh, six is great.
173
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:05,800
Oh, you are going to love six.
174
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:09,200
Six is when they, uh,
they really start to, um...
175
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,100
I hate kids.
176
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:13,400
Excuse me. What?
177
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:17,300
I mean, I don't hate kids.
I'm-I'm just not a kid person.
178
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,800
I mean, yeah, it's cute that
their shoes are real little,
179
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,700
but beyond that, what's the draw?
180
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:24,700
You must think I'm nuts.
181
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:27,700
What? No, no, no. I...
So you don't like kids, so what?
182
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,600
And I'm not looking
for a mother for Doug.
183
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,200
Uh, why don't we just hold off
on you meeting him?
184
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,600
Yeah. Let's take things slow.
185
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:38,200
And kids, that's exactly
what she did.
186
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:42,500
Then, on a totally different day that
was definitely not the next morning,
187
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,500
Aunt Robin had to face
her worst fear.
188
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,700
- Hey, what's up?
- It's here, Lily.
189
00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:53,600
It's looking at me.
190
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:55,900
The kid. What do I do?
191
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:58,000
Just talk to him.
You can do this, Robin.
192
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,700
Who are you?
193
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:03,100
- Um, I'm Robin.
- That's a bird's name.
194
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,400
Ah, no, it's not.
It's actually a type of bird.
195
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:10,000
My friend Patrick has a parakeet
named Robin, so there.
196
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,000
- Do you want to talk in Morse code?
- Dude, I'm-I'm just reading my paper,
197
00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,400
- so...
- Beep.
198
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,100
Beep-beep-beep.
199
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:21,100
Beep. Beep. Beep...!
200
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,900
I'm starving.
Will you make me cereal?
201
00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:25,900
Sure.
202
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,300
What are you doing?
You're supposed to pour the milk first.
203
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:31,400
What?! No, you pour the cereal first so
you know how much milk you need.
204
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,200
It tastes better milk first!
205
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,600
It all tastes the same
once it's in the bowl.
206
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,100
Why are you wearing
my dad's pants?
207
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,500
Milk first it is.
208
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:42,900
What are you reading?
209
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,000
The business section.
210
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:48,400
The Fed's going to lower rates again
to bail out these sub-prime lenders.
211
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:49,900
Bunch of idiots.
212
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:52,700
Ms. Aldrin says it's not nice
to call people names.
213
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,000
Well, maybe if they weren't such idiot
I wouldn't have to call them that.
214
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,500
That's what I said.
215
00:09:58,600 --> 00:09:59,700
You're pretty cool.
216
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:01,800
You, too.
217
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,400
Meanwhile, Stacey and I
had started dating.
218
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:07,800
Oh, Stacey was the girl
from the bar.
219
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:11,200
Anyway, I was close to winning the bet
when something unexpected happened.
220
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,300
I started to really like her.
221
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,200
Well, have fun in yoga.
222
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:17,000
She's strengthening her core.
223
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,400
I think that's going
to be good.
224
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,200
Yeah? All right.
225
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:23,100
After a while, crocodile.
226
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,100
You see this?
227
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,600
Game face.
228
00:10:26,700 --> 00:10:27,800
Whatever, Ted.
229
00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:32,300
Oh. Get this. She plays bass
in a reggae band.
230
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:35,700
They're having a show this Friday.
How cool is that?
231
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,300
Oh, does she know that one song?
232
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:40,100
Mm-mm, chaka, mm-mm, chaka.
233
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,700
What's that song called?
234
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:44,100
Oh, right.
It's called every reggae song.
235
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:46,400
- I am not irrelevant.
- What?
236
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:47,900
I ran the numbers.
237
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,500
If Lily and I have sex
twice a week,
238
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,900
which let's be honest,
we all know is being conservative,
239
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,400
and we've been together
for ten years,
240
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:59,000
plus 17 more times
on the honeymoon,
241
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,400
minus the two-week drought when
I said the checker at the grocery store
242
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,800
reminded me of a young Lily,
243
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,600
then we have had sex
a total of...
244
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,700
- wait for it...
- Nice.
245
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:12,200
1,053-1/2 times.
246
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:14,100
My mom called once.
247
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:16,800
But that's more times
than Barney has ever had sex,
248
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,700
and to your point, Ted,
Lily is a quality girl.
249
00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,900
I win. Lawyered.
250
00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:26,100
Doesn't count.
251
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,900
- It totally counts.
- You're right. It does count.
252
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,600
It counts as one.
You've had sex once. How was it?
253
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:36,700
I still matter.
254
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,600
Okay, Ted, go win the bet.
255
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,300
You have my blessing.
She's a wonderful girl.
256
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:45,600
I should know.
257
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:49,300
Oh, okay.
Ok, I see what you're doing.
258
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,700
We've never shared a woman,
have we, Ted? Isn't that funny?
259
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,100
You're with her now.
I was with her a year ago.
260
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:58,700
You figure, for her,
that's like 200 showers ago.
261
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,700
You've got to ask yourself, Ted,
"Is 200 enough?"
262
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:03,900
You know what?
263
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,000
I don't mind.
264
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,000
No, of course you don't mind.
265
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:09,600
Just like the second guy to climb
Mount Everest didn't mind
266
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,600
getting all the way to the top only
to find Sir Edmund Hillary's flagpole
267
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,800
thrust into its supple peak.
268
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:19,400
No, I'm sure when you're with her,
I'll be the furthest thing from your mind.
269
00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:22,200
Kissing what I've already kissed,
270
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,700
nuzzling what I've already nuzzled,
271
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:29,200
going... (blubbering) on what
I've already gone (blubbering) on.
272
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:34,700
Barney, I'm not afraid
of catching your cooties, 'kay?
273
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,100
Really? Ted's not afraid of cooties?
274
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,300
Okay, well, then I guess
you'd have no problem
275
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,000
- having a sip of my gin and tonic.
- Fine.
276
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,000
And I only stirred that
with my pinky.
277
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:54,400
Guess who loves Robin.
278
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,800
Kids. Kids love Robin.
279
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,900
Doug thinks I'm pretty cool.
280
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:04,200
Really, that's great!
You and George, all thanks to me.
281
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,300
Yeah, I'm going to have
to break up with him.
282
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,200
- What?
- Well, it's just...
283
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:11,500
it's getting a little bit
too serious with the kid.
284
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:14,200
You know, it's just not
what I'm looking for.
285
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,400
So better I break it off now
before he gets too attached.
286
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,100
What?
287
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,600
I hate to tell you, but...
288
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,900
too late.
289
00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:28,600
He drew it in class today.
290
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:30,500
Oh, crap.
291
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:36,500
There's no way
that's a picture of me.
292
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:40,100
That woman has on hoop earrings.
I don't even own hoop earrings.
293
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,200
I have one pair and they're gold.
Those are fruit loops.
294
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,300
You are so in denial right now
295
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:48,100
and you're doing what you always
do in relationships:
296
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,000
the second you get close to a guy,
you want to bail.
297
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,400
Okay, granted, he's six,
but the point stands.
298
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,200
Well, we'll ask the guys.
299
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,900
They'll tell you that's not me.
300
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,300
That's totally you.
301
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,300
Wh... you guys are crazy.
302
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,800
Hey, who drew the picture of Robin?
303
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:05,700
- It's not me.
- You're joking, right?
304
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,200
- It's not me!
- "My new mommy."
305
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:09,800
Kind of has a nice ring to it.
306
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,900
Hey, now that you're a mom,
are you going to start wearing
307
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,600
those totally awesome jeans
that go right up to your boobs?
308
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,000
Do you guys really
think this is me?
309
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,500
Honey, it's you.
310
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,200
And if you're going
to break up with George,
311
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:22,200
you have to break up
with his kid, too.
312
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:24,900
- Really?
- Yeah, you can't just abandon him.
313
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,400
You have to talk to him.
314
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,600
Come on, Robin, you know
it's the right thing to do.
315
00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:31,100
Oh, man.
316
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,900
Doug was right: you are
a pain in the ass.
317
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,200
So I had a really
nice time tonight.
318
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,200
- Me, too.
- Yeah?
319
00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:47,600
Hey, Ted, pucker up all you want,
but I was here first.
320
00:14:57,100 --> 00:15:00,200
From this spot, I also launched
an expedition
321
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,300
to those two large ridges
down there.
322
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,700
Ted?
323
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,100
Something wrong?
324
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:25,500
- Hey, Doug.
- Are you here to see my dad?
325
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,900
He's taking a shower.
326
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,200
Actually, I came to see you.
327
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,400
I wrote a poem.
Do you want to hear it?
328
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:32,700
Sure. Why not?
329
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,900
"To my new mommy.
330
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,300
"You are pretty.
331
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:39,600
"You are nice.
332
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:43,400
- And you smell like daisies."
- Aw, that is so sweet.
333
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,000
Even though it doesn't rhyme.
334
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,300
Look, uh, Doug.
335
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,900
There's no good way
to say this, uh...
336
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000
Aunt Robin didn't know
what to say.
337
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,500
This kid has never been
dumped before.
338
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,300
But then she realized...
339
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,800
this kid had never been
dumped before.
340
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:02,100
She could use every cliché
in the book.
341
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:03,600
We need to talk.
342
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:07,800
I just think, um, we both could use
some space right now.
343
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,800
It's not you. It's me.
344
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,900
Look, I know this hurts,
but you deserve someone better.
345
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:16,500
I'm just really trying to focus
on my career right now.
346
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,100
You know?
347
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,000
I just hope we can
still be friends.
348
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:27,600
Hi.
349
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,900
I'm Brooke. I'm here
for my date with George.
350
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,500
You must be the babysitter.
351
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:41,300
I had so much coffee earlier. I need
to run to the loo, but hey, Dougie.
352
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:46,700
What the hell was that?
353
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,300
That was my new mom.
354
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:53,000
So... this picture is not of me?
355
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,200
- Why would I draw a picture of you?
- Wha...?
356
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,800
How many dates has she been on
with your dad?
357
00:16:58,800 --> 00:16:59,500
Two.
358
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:02,200
I've been on, like, five and
you like her better?
359
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,900
We just really connected.
360
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:05,400
And what about me?
361
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:09,200
You think I just go around pouring
cereal for every boy in town?
362
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,900
Why are you getting
so upset, Roberta?
363
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,400
Robin. My name is Robin.
364
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,500
Like the bird, remember?
365
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,800
Whatever.
366
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,100
So that's it, huh?
367
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:24,900
- Look, you're great, but...
- Yeah.
368
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:26,800
There's always a "but."
369
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,600
Well, I couldn't do it.
I broke up with her.
370
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:33,500
Thanks a lot, by the way.
A beautiful, sexy girl
371
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,800
and all I could think about
was you being there first.
372
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,600
You were stuck in my head
like a Chumbawamba song.
373
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,400
Which Chumbawamba song?
374
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,400
Well, what an interesting
turn of events.
375
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,700
It looks like I'm going to win.
376
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,400
What do you mean "win"?
You couldn't even talk to her.
377
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,000
You tried and you got slapped.
378
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,200
That's what you think happened.
379
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,700
Okay, great, rule #1:
no eye patches or props of any ki...
380
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,300
Here's the deal: my friend just got
dumped, so he's a little shy,
381
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:00,900
but he'd love to buy you
a drink and get to know you.
382
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:02,900
The problem is, he thinks a pretty girl
like you won't go for a guy like him.
383
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:05,700
So would you slap me across the face so he can
see you're not into guys who'd feed you lines?
384
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:07,200
What do you say? For my friend?
385
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,700
You are so sweet.
386
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,100
So now, whatever nice things
Ted does for her, in her mind,
387
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,100
I'm the guy who's even
nicer than him.
388
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,500
So you never slept with her?
389
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,100
Not even at all.
390
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:20,500
Wow, that's good.
391
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:21,500
It gets better.
392
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,900
Remember Ted's phone conversation?
393
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,500
Well, have fun in yoga.
394
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,300
Well...
395
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,700
- I am...
- Sorry.
396
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:30,300
Stacey, right?
397
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:33,400
Yeah... oh, you're Ted's friend
from the bar, right?
398
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,200
Wait, don't tell me you go
to yoga here, too.
399
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,200
I do.
400
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:39,700
She plays bass in a reggae band.
401
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:41,800
...and then I'm going to head
out to a reggae concert.
402
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:43,100
I'm a huge fan of reggae.
403
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:44,200
Oh, my gosh!
404
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,700
I play in a reggae band.
405
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,000
No way.
406
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,500
I wonder why Ted didn't
tell me about that.
407
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,900
Like I said,
I'm a huge reggae fan.
408
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,200
Well... I should go inside.
409
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,000
After a while, crocodile.
410
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:56,700
- See you later, allig...
- See you later, allig...
411
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:58,800
We are two peas.
412
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,500
Wow, well, take care.
413
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,600
Um, namaste.
414
00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:11,700
You are a sociopath.
415
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,100
And that was my yoga mat.
416
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:16,600
So now with Ted out of the picture,
I'm going to swoop in
417
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:17,800
and win the whole thing.
418
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:18,500
Why?
419
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:21,900
"Parce que j'ai le jeu, mes chiennes".
420
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:23,000
Translation:
421
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:25,800
"'Cause I got game, bitches."
422
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:28,200
No. No, this doesn't prove
anything because...
423
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,100
Hold on a second.
424
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:30,900
It's Stacey.
425
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,100
Hey, Stace?
426
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,800
What happened?
427
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,400
He did not!
428
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,600
Stay there. I'll be right over.
429
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,000
I should've just worn that
stupid eye patch.
430
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:50,700
Oh, I can't believe you got
dumped by a six-year-old.
431
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,600
Whatever. He's a stupid-head.
432
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:55,700
I'm just...
I'm done with kids.
433
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,600
Of course, Robin eventually
made her peace with kids.
434
00:19:58,800 --> 00:19:59,800
And as you guys know,
435
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:02,500
she went on to appear in some
very important works of art:
436
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:03,700
yours.
437
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:22,200
Hey.
438
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,700
You know, I really appreciate
439
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:26,900
how cool you've been
about us taking things slow.
440
00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:29,200
Since Ted, you know, I...
441
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,500
I don't really want
to get physical too fast.
442
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,500
That's what makes you
so special, baby.
443
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,800
Anyway, I am so psyched
to be playing Sunsplash tomorrow.
444
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,100
We go on sometime
between 11:00 and 6:00,
445
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:43,000
so you probably want to get there
before 9:00 just to be safe.
446
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,700
Oh... and it's gonna be muddy.