1 00:00:01,604 --> 00:00:03,677 It was saturday night in New York City, 2 00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:06,134 and the young metropolit was out on the town, 3 00:00:06,164 --> 00:00:09,595 living the kind of crazy lifestyle you can only find in the Big Apple. 4 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,393 - 97. - 97. 5 00:00:11,442 --> 00:00:12,726 - 98. - 98. 6 00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:14,752 - 99. - 99. 7 00:00:15,186 --> 00:00:16,792 100! 8 00:00:18,003 --> 00:00:21,104 A hundred? We only got to 82 on our honeymoon. 9 00:00:22,362 --> 00:00:24,695 So, Robin? I've got a guy for you. 10 00:00:24,772 --> 00:00:27,886 - He's cute. He's funny. He's smart. - What's his "but"? 11 00:00:28,218 --> 00:00:28,999 What do you mean? 12 00:00:29,026 --> 00:00:30,221 When someone wants to set you up, 13 00:00:30,245 --> 00:00:32,222 they always tell you their good qualities first, but 14 00:00:32,255 --> 00:00:34,087 then they leave out their huge flaw. 15 00:00:34,184 --> 00:00:36,498 She's totally hot and really fun. 16 00:00:36,534 --> 00:00:38,108 But she has a dead tooth. 17 00:00:38,461 --> 00:00:41,439 She's super-hot, and she's so successful. 18 00:00:41,472 --> 00:00:44,619 But she has a pug that she pushes around in a stroller 19 00:00:44,913 --> 00:00:47,737 She's so cute, and she's so smart. 20 00:00:47,774 --> 00:00:50,557 But her last boyfriend had to get a restraining order against her, 21 00:00:50,574 --> 00:00:53,876 and then his cat and new vacuum cleaner both went missing. 22 00:00:54,174 --> 00:00:55,589 Wow! Set it up! 23 00:00:56,094 --> 00:00:57,959 I'm still convinced she killed my turtle. 24 00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:00,957 Hey, you know what? Not every setup has a "but. " 25 00:01:00,992 --> 00:01:03,657 What about, um, Jamie, that girl that Lily set you up with? 26 00:01:03,682 --> 00:01:04,579 She was really nice. 27 00:01:04,604 --> 00:01:06,487 If memory serves me, she had a huge "but. " 28 00:01:06,803 --> 00:01:07,726 Her huge butt. 29 00:01:07,751 --> 00:01:09,769 Nailed it! 30 00:01:10,041 --> 00:01:11,679 Well, there's nothing wrong with this guy. 31 00:01:11,702 --> 00:01:13,967 He's really nice, and he's really cute... 32 00:01:13,992 --> 00:01:14,979 But? 33 00:01:15,381 --> 00:01:16,789 Fine. 34 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,007 But he has a kid. 35 00:01:18,442 --> 00:01:21,629 Aha! There it is! Robin's not going out with a guy with a kid. 36 00:01:21,693 --> 00:01:24,088 But the guy is really great, and his kid's sweet. 37 00:01:24,124 --> 00:01:26,728 - He's in my class. - It doesn't matter. Robin hates kids. 38 00:01:27,204 --> 00:01:28,726 I don't hate kids. 39 00:01:28,743 --> 00:01:31,766 You told me even when you were a kid, you hated kids. 40 00:01:32,201 --> 00:01:34,837 Robin, will you watch cartoons with me? 41 00:01:34,872 --> 00:01:36,486 I go to school all week. 44 00:01:43,072 --> 00:01:46,249 Okay, yes, kids are not my favorite thing in the world, 45 00:01:46,282 --> 00:01:48,627 - but I like them. - Well, you don't want to have them. 46 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:50,038 I like sports cars, 47 00:01:50,063 --> 00:01:52,519 but it doesn't mean I want to push a Ferrari through my vagina. 48 00:01:53,144 --> 00:01:53,958 Shotgun. 49 00:01:55,294 --> 00:01:57,839 You can't blame us for thinking that the kid would be a problem. 50 00:01:57,863 --> 00:01:59,607 I mean, if we were friends with Garfield, 51 00:01:59,634 --> 00:02:01,306 we wouldn't set him up on a date with Mondays. 52 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,658 You know what? The kid is not a problem. 53 00:02:04,684 --> 00:02:05,508 I want to meet this guy. 54 00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:07,756 - Okay. That's awesome! - Yeah. 55 00:02:08,013 --> 00:02:10,017 Hey, what's my "but"? 56 00:02:10,054 --> 00:02:13,208 You know, I'm a... I'm really nice, but... 57 00:02:13,262 --> 00:02:15,026 But she's afraid of commitment. 58 00:02:15,062 --> 00:02:16,598 But she's a gun nut. 59 00:02:16,651 --> 00:02:18,159 But she's Canadian. 60 00:02:18,183 --> 00:02:20,029 But she didn't like Field of Dreams. 61 00:02:20,072 --> 00:02:22,409 - I can't think of... - You don't have a "but. " 62 00:02:23,554 --> 00:02:26,246 Sync: MiniBen Proofreading: Flovap 63 00:02:26,751 --> 00:02:30,097 Transcript: Raceman Resync: kabbage 64 00:02:30,503 --> 00:02:32,968 How I met your mother 3x02- We're Not From Here 65 00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:35,976 for the " Have You Met Team" for www. forom. com 66 00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,767 Okay. I've got it. 67 00:02:40,863 --> 00:02:42,626 Here. Put on this eye patch. 68 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,298 - Why? - The ultimate ice-breaker. 69 00:02:46,764 --> 00:02:49,788 A bunch of cobras got loose in Central Park. 70 00:02:49,854 --> 00:02:52,146 You and I are jogging... 71 00:02:52,424 --> 00:02:54,839 training for the Death Valley Iron Man. 72 00:02:54,862 --> 00:02:56,659 No big deal. We do it every year. 73 00:02:56,934 --> 00:02:58,048 Suddenly, 74 00:02:58,093 --> 00:03:00,057 we see these snake bastards 75 00:03:00,094 --> 00:03:04,658 sneaking towards a little baby. Not on our watch. 76 00:03:04,701 --> 00:03:10,747 You grab the kid, I strangle six cobras with my bare hands. 77 00:03:10,862 --> 00:03:13,898 Women of New York, one at a time, please. 78 00:03:15,582 --> 00:03:17,136 So what are the eye patches for? 79 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,996 - We got bit. - On the eye? 80 00:03:20,662 --> 00:03:21,497 Yes. 81 00:03:22,183 --> 00:03:23,437 Both of us? 82 00:03:23,524 --> 00:03:26,719 They're different eyes. I don't know see why this bumps you! 83 00:03:27,402 --> 00:03:28,477 Patch up! 84 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,239 So Robin went on a date with George, 85 00:03:31,314 --> 00:03:33,606 the guy with the kid, and afterwards... 86 00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,327 Okay, here's the thing. 87 00:03:35,373 --> 00:03:38,796 George is a great guy. We had a wonderful date. 88 00:03:38,933 --> 00:03:40,237 But? 89 00:03:40,313 --> 00:03:42,466 Great. I can't wait to meet him. 90 00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:44,218 "Can't wait to meet him"? 91 00:03:44,503 --> 00:03:47,117 Why did I say that? I don't want to meet his kid. 92 00:03:47,234 --> 00:03:49,367 Well, you knew you'd meet him sooner or later. 93 00:03:49,402 --> 00:03:51,376 Oh. I was just hoping for later, like 94 00:03:51,421 --> 00:03:54,638 in 20 years when I'm a cougar and he's as hot as his dad. 95 00:03:55,004 --> 00:03:57,358 Robin, what's the big deal? He's just a kid. 96 00:03:57,394 --> 00:03:59,137 He's not going to bite. 97 00:03:59,752 --> 00:04:01,667 He may bite. We're working on biting. 98 00:04:02,911 --> 00:04:06,096 Why is this kid around anyway? Shouldn't he be with his mom? 99 00:04:06,142 --> 00:04:07,909 I mean, what kind of lawyer does this guy have 100 00:04:07,941 --> 00:04:09,958 if he has to take care of the kid all the time? 101 00:04:10,753 --> 00:04:12,536 A good one. He won full custody. 102 00:04:12,584 --> 00:04:14,909 He won?! He won? 103 00:04:15,814 --> 00:04:18,046 Oh, God, getting the kid is winning, isn't it? 104 00:04:20,144 --> 00:04:21,898 Don't tell anyone I said that. 105 00:04:23,071 --> 00:04:25,298 I'm going out buying eye patches. 106 00:04:25,324 --> 00:04:27,159 What are you doing to help score chicks? 107 00:04:27,213 --> 00:04:28,576 Okay, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. 108 00:04:28,592 --> 00:04:31,079 People with real game don't need eye patches. 109 00:04:32,964 --> 00:04:35,978 Theodore. No, no, no. 110 00:04:36,064 --> 00:04:39,348 You can't spell "game" without "me", 111 00:04:39,723 --> 00:04:41,918 and "me" has the best game. 112 00:04:41,973 --> 00:04:45,207 Yeah, well, I got so much game, I'm Cornish game hen. 113 00:04:45,262 --> 00:04:48,308 Oh, yeah? I'm the New York State gaming commissioner. 114 00:04:48,362 --> 00:04:50,018 Well, I'm The Game. Well-crafted, 115 00:04:50,051 --> 00:04:52,937 keep-you-guessing thriller starring Michael Douglas and Sean Penn. 116 00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:59,056 You're here and not in stall two. 117 00:04:59,551 --> 00:05:01,097 Yeah. So? 118 00:05:01,142 --> 00:05:03,327 I may have made some 119 00:05:03,383 --> 00:05:07,558 wildly inappropriate homoerotic comments to a gentleman wearing your shoes. 120 00:05:08,893 --> 00:05:10,757 - Okay, Marshall? - Yes. 121 00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:13,258 Which one of us has more game? 122 00:05:14,182 --> 00:05:16,087 Neither of you guys has any game, right? 123 00:05:16,112 --> 00:05:18,199 Or else you'd be married like me. 124 00:05:19,201 --> 00:05:19,936 What? 125 00:05:19,961 --> 00:05:23,687 If dating is the game, then marriage is winning the game. 126 00:05:24,403 --> 00:05:26,516 Yeah. If you're playing in the women's league. 127 00:05:27,033 --> 00:05:29,529 You're joking. I have mad game, brah. 128 00:05:30,972 --> 00:05:35,046 One: we agreed not to ever say "brah" anymore. 129 00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:38,207 It was a good week, we had a lot of fun, but it's over. 130 00:05:38,574 --> 00:05:41,848 Two: you've been with Lily for 11 years. 131 00:05:41,882 --> 00:05:43,907 Your idea of good game is 132 00:05:43,954 --> 00:05:46,376 slapping on a Dr. Seuss hat and flashing 133 00:05:46,377 --> 00:05:48,799 two tickets to a Spin Doctors concert. 134 00:05:48,852 --> 00:05:51,478 Yeah, I hate to say it, buddy, but, uh, you're kind of irrelevant. 135 00:05:51,512 --> 00:05:53,117 What? I am not irrelevant. 136 00:05:53,171 --> 00:05:55,839 I know tons of stuff. I can help you guys. 137 00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:57,858 I don't want to be left out. 138 00:05:58,021 --> 00:06:00,129 Ted, you do not have more game than me. 139 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:03,999 By sheer numbers alone, I win. Come on, dude. You've seen my list. 140 00:06:04,002 --> 00:06:05,317 You guys want to hear one of my lines? 141 00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:08,898 First of all, I did not ask to see that list, and I am still horrified. 142 00:06:09,224 --> 00:06:12,396 And true game is about quality, not quantity, 143 00:06:12,434 --> 00:06:15,297 and a quality girl would pick me over you any day. 144 00:06:15,354 --> 00:06:16,566 Are you a model? 145 00:06:16,618 --> 00:06:19,569 That one's good because it's flattering. To the girl. 146 00:06:21,326 --> 00:06:26,221 Ted, I challenge you to a picking up girls Olympiad. 147 00:06:26,265 --> 00:06:28,002 - Fine. - There will be 26 events 148 00:06:28,035 --> 00:06:30,089 spread out over 11 weeks. 149 00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:34,279 We will travel to a neutral city where a panel of international judges... 150 00:06:34,314 --> 00:06:35,161 Or we could just choose a girl, 151 00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,308 and the first one to seal the deal wins? 152 00:06:36,343 --> 00:06:37,457 That's good, too. 153 00:06:39,353 --> 00:06:40,787 How about her? 154 00:06:41,064 --> 00:06:42,139 You're on. 155 00:06:42,992 --> 00:06:46,056 Before we start, why don't we jot down a few basic ground rules? 156 00:06:46,094 --> 00:06:49,106 Okay, great. Rule #1: no eye patches or props of any... 157 00:06:51,804 --> 00:06:55,057 One time, I was with this girl, and I tried that model line, 158 00:06:55,102 --> 00:06:57,588 and I totally got some over-the-shirt boob action 159 00:06:57,623 --> 00:06:59,618 in the "Just Say No" assembly. 160 00:06:59,693 --> 00:07:01,936 Man, just stop. You're bumming everybody out. 161 00:07:05,823 --> 00:07:10,417 Rule number two: this bet is for one million dollars. 162 00:07:11,012 --> 00:07:12,577 - I win. - How? 163 00:07:12,634 --> 00:07:16,146 Oh, I slept with her. About a year ago. I just forgot. 164 00:07:16,223 --> 00:07:19,686 Oh, well, that doesn't count. The bet started the moment we shook. 165 00:07:20,553 --> 00:07:22,518 But I can't sleep with her again. She hates me. 166 00:07:22,593 --> 00:07:26,036 Oh. Interesting. Look who just took a commanding lead. 167 00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:28,007 Now with you out of the picture, I can take my sweet time. 168 00:07:28,034 --> 00:07:29,897 - Ted, she's leaving. - Get out of my way. 169 00:07:32,764 --> 00:07:35,577 By the look of those shoes, here comes your bathroom buddy. 170 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,338 Look who's got game. 171 00:07:46,922 --> 00:07:48,418 So, you're a big kids person, huh? 172 00:07:48,464 --> 00:07:50,296 Only the biggest ever. 173 00:07:50,364 --> 00:07:52,768 I think kids are so great, 174 00:07:52,923 --> 00:07:55,027 especially, um, the little ones. 175 00:07:55,091 --> 00:07:59,198 You know, uh... pudgy, can't sit up, don't have teeth yet. 176 00:07:59,883 --> 00:08:01,947 - You mean babies? - Yeah, I like that kind. 177 00:08:02,933 --> 00:08:06,019 - Well, Doug's almost six, so... - Oh, six is great. 178 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,279 Oh, you are going to love six. 179 00:08:07,551 --> 00:08:10,597 Six is when they, uh, they really start to, um... 180 00:08:12,433 --> 00:08:13,567 I hate kids. 181 00:08:13,944 --> 00:08:14,849 Excuse me. What? 182 00:08:14,902 --> 00:08:18,778 I mean, I don't hate kids. I'm-I'm just not a kid person. 183 00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:21,259 I mean, yeah, it's cute that their shoes are real little, 184 00:08:21,302 --> 00:08:23,148 but beyond that, what's the draw? 185 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,147 You must think I'm nuts. 186 00:08:26,181 --> 00:08:29,127 What? No, no, no. I... So you don't like kids, so what? 187 00:08:29,443 --> 00:08:32,049 And I'm not looking for a mother for Doug. 188 00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,667 Uh, why don't we just hold off on you meeting him? 189 00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:37,027 Yeah. Let's take things slow. 190 00:08:37,181 --> 00:08:39,609 And kids, that's exactly what she did. 191 00:08:40,011 --> 00:08:43,907 Then, on a totally different day that was definitely not the next morning, 192 00:08:43,994 --> 00:08:46,897 Aunt Robin had to face her worst fear. 193 00:08:51,252 --> 00:08:53,108 - Hey, what's up? - It's here, Lily. 194 00:08:53,513 --> 00:08:55,037 It's looking at me. 195 00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,326 The kid. What do I do? 196 00:08:57,374 --> 00:08:59,486 Just talk to him. You can do this, Robin. 197 00:08:59,553 --> 00:09:01,129 Who are you? 198 00:09:01,364 --> 00:09:04,539 - Um, I'm Robin. - That's a bird's name. 199 00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:07,847 Ah, no, it's not. It's actually a type of bird. 200 00:09:07,902 --> 00:09:11,438 My friend Patrick has a parakeet named Robin, so there. 201 00:09:11,623 --> 00:09:14,486 - Do you want to talk in Morse code? - Dude, I'm-I'm just reading my paper, 202 00:09:14,631 --> 00:09:15,796 - so... - Beep. 203 00:09:15,872 --> 00:09:17,509 Beep-beep-beep. 204 00:09:17,872 --> 00:09:22,538 Beep. Beep. Beep...! 205 00:09:22,702 --> 00:09:25,358 I'm starving. Will you make me cereal? 206 00:09:26,553 --> 00:09:27,349 Sure. 207 00:09:27,694 --> 00:09:29,729 What are you doing? You're supposed to pour the milk first. 208 00:09:29,753 --> 00:09:32,878 What?! No, you pour the cereal first so you know how much milk you need. 209 00:09:32,914 --> 00:09:34,607 It tastes better milk first! 210 00:09:34,673 --> 00:09:37,088 It all tastes the same once it's in the bowl. 211 00:09:37,502 --> 00:09:39,528 Why are you wearing my dad's pants? 212 00:09:39,693 --> 00:09:40,967 Milk first it is. 213 00:09:43,123 --> 00:09:44,308 What are you reading? 214 00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:46,429 The business section. 215 00:09:46,501 --> 00:09:49,808 The Fed's going to lower rates again to bail out these sub-prime lenders. 216 00:09:49,863 --> 00:09:51,328 Bunch of idiots. 217 00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:54,159 Ms. Aldrin says it's not nice to call people names. 218 00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:57,466 Well, maybe if they weren't such idiot I wouldn't have to call them that. 219 00:09:58,462 --> 00:09:59,929 That's what I said. 220 00:10:00,084 --> 00:10:01,107 You're pretty cool. 221 00:10:02,374 --> 00:10:03,239 You, too. 222 00:10:04,612 --> 00:10:06,869 Meanwhile, Stacey and I had started dating. 223 00:10:07,324 --> 00:10:09,228 Oh, Stacey was the girl from the bar. 224 00:10:09,364 --> 00:10:12,648 Anyway, I was close to winning the bet when something unexpected happened. 225 00:10:12,882 --> 00:10:14,787 I started to really like her. 226 00:10:14,992 --> 00:10:16,617 Well, have fun in yoga. 227 00:10:16,712 --> 00:10:18,447 She's strengthening her core. 228 00:10:18,472 --> 00:10:19,838 I think that's going to be good. 229 00:10:20,443 --> 00:10:21,658 Yeah? All right. 230 00:10:21,904 --> 00:10:24,516 After a while, crocodile. 231 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,518 You see this? 232 00:10:26,904 --> 00:10:28,058 Game face. 233 00:10:28,134 --> 00:10:29,268 Whatever, Ted. 234 00:10:29,302 --> 00:10:33,726 Oh. Get this. She plays bass in a reggae band. 235 00:10:33,782 --> 00:10:37,129 They're having a show this Friday. How cool is that? 236 00:10:37,193 --> 00:10:38,707 Oh, does she know that one song? 237 00:10:38,782 --> 00:10:41,567 Mm-mm, chaka, mm-mm, chaka. 238 00:10:41,831 --> 00:10:43,118 What's that song called? 239 00:10:43,173 --> 00:10:45,588 Oh, right. It's called every reggae song. 240 00:10:45,982 --> 00:10:47,877 - I am not irrelevant. - What? 241 00:10:48,013 --> 00:10:49,298 I ran the numbers. 242 00:10:49,404 --> 00:10:51,979 If Lily and I have sex twice a week, 243 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:54,387 which let's be honest, we all know is being conservative, 244 00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:56,876 and we've been together for ten years, 245 00:10:56,912 --> 00:11:00,398 plus 17 more times on the honeymoon, 246 00:11:00,914 --> 00:11:02,809 minus the two-week drought when I said the checker at the grocery store 247 00:11:02,814 --> 00:11:05,237 reminded me of a young Lily, 248 00:11:05,243 --> 00:11:07,997 then we have had sex a total of... 249 00:11:08,231 --> 00:11:10,099 - wait for it... - Nice. 250 00:11:10,184 --> 00:11:13,638 1, 053-1/2 times. 251 00:11:13,784 --> 00:11:15,558 My mom called once. 252 00:11:15,773 --> 00:11:18,268 But that's more times than Barney has ever had sex, 253 00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:21,119 and to your point, Ted, Lily is a quality girl. 254 00:11:21,171 --> 00:11:23,366 I win. Lawyered. 255 00:11:26,551 --> 00:11:27,558 Doesn't count. 256 00:11:28,201 --> 00:11:30,378 - It totally counts. - You're right. It does count. 257 00:11:30,431 --> 00:11:34,006 It counts as one. You've had sex once. How was it? 258 00:11:36,381 --> 00:11:38,097 I still matter. 259 00:11:40,493 --> 00:11:43,079 Okay, Ted, go win the bet. 260 00:11:43,213 --> 00:11:45,747 You have my blessing. She's a wonderful girl. 261 00:11:45,951 --> 00:11:47,057 I should know. 262 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,697 Oh, okay. Ok, I see what you're doing. 263 00:11:50,871 --> 00:11:54,158 We've never shared a woman, have we, Ted? Isn't that funny? 264 00:11:54,272 --> 00:11:56,547 You're with her now. I was with her a year ago. 265 00:11:56,591 --> 00:12:00,146 You figure, for her, that's like 200 showers ago. 266 00:12:00,294 --> 00:12:03,139 You've got to ask yourself, Ted, "Is 200 enough?" 267 00:12:03,821 --> 00:12:05,378 You know what? 268 00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:06,479 I don't mind. 269 00:12:06,562 --> 00:12:08,429 No, of course you don't mind. 270 00:12:08,503 --> 00:12:11,057 Just like the second guy to climb Mount Everest didn't mind 271 00:12:11,073 --> 00:12:15,046 getting all the way to the top only to find Sir Edmund Hillary's flagpole 272 00:12:15,053 --> 00:12:17,216 thrust into its supple peak. 273 00:12:17,722 --> 00:12:19,071 No, I'm sure when you're with her, 274 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,816 I'll be the furthest thing from your mind. 275 00:12:21,143 --> 00:12:23,598 Kissing what I've already kissed, 276 00:12:23,671 --> 00:12:26,117 nuzzling what I've already nuzzled, 277 00:12:26,472 --> 00:12:30,636 going... on what I've already gone on. 278 00:12:31,772 --> 00:12:36,117 Barney, I'm not afraid of catching your cooties, 'kay? 279 00:12:36,201 --> 00:12:38,588 Really? Ted's not afraid of cooties? 280 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,757 Okay, well, then I guess you'd have no problem 281 00:12:40,813 --> 00:12:43,487 - having a sip of my gin and tonic. - Fine. 282 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,409 And I only stirred that with my pinky. 283 00:12:53,944 --> 00:12:55,819 Guess who loves Robin. 284 00:12:56,462 --> 00:12:59,208 Kids. Kids love Robin. 285 00:12:59,271 --> 00:13:01,338 Doug thinks I'm pretty cool. 286 00:13:01,433 --> 00:13:05,609 Really, that's great! You and George, all thanks to me. 287 00:13:05,684 --> 00:13:07,719 Yeah, I'm going to have to break up with him. 288 00:13:08,463 --> 00:13:10,638 - What? - Well, it's just... 289 00:13:10,722 --> 00:13:12,916 it's getting a little bit too serious with the kid. 290 00:13:13,321 --> 00:13:15,646 You know, it's just not what I'm looking for. 291 00:13:15,874 --> 00:13:18,858 So better I break it off now before he gets too attached. 292 00:13:19,824 --> 00:13:20,549 What? 293 00:13:21,054 --> 00:13:23,007 I hate to tell you, but... 294 00:13:23,862 --> 00:13:25,386 too late. 295 00:13:28,181 --> 00:13:29,999 He drew it in class today. 296 00:13:30,112 --> 00:13:31,966 Oh, crap. 297 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,376 There's no way that's a picture of me. 298 00:13:39,449 --> 00:13:43,035 That woman has on hoop earrings. I don't even own hoop earrings. 299 00:13:43,461 --> 00:13:46,105 I have one pair and they're gold. Those are fruit loops. 300 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,174 You are so in denial right now 301 00:13:48,212 --> 00:13:51,017 and you're doing what you always do in relationships: 302 00:13:51,092 --> 00:13:53,854 the second you get close to a guy, you want to bail. 303 00:13:54,672 --> 00:13:57,254 Okay, granted, he's six, but the point stands. 304 00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:00,127 Well, we'll ask the guys. 305 00:14:00,542 --> 00:14:01,794 They'll tell you that's not me. 306 00:14:01,889 --> 00:14:03,165 That's totally you. 307 00:14:03,212 --> 00:14:05,165 Wh... you guys are crazy. 308 00:14:05,232 --> 00:14:06,695 Hey, who drew the picture of Robin? 309 00:14:06,781 --> 00:14:08,637 - It's not me. - You're joking, right? 310 00:14:08,690 --> 00:14:11,097 - It's not me! - "My new mommy. " 311 00:14:11,239 --> 00:14:12,734 Kind of has a nice ring to it. 312 00:14:12,899 --> 00:14:14,845 Hey, now that you're a mom, are you going to start wearing 313 00:14:14,869 --> 00:14:17,466 those totally awesome jeans that go right up to your boobs? 314 00:14:18,239 --> 00:14:19,876 Do you guys really think this is me? 315 00:14:20,042 --> 00:14:21,385 Honey, it's you. 316 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,147 And if you're going to break up with George, 317 00:14:23,201 --> 00:14:25,106 you have to break up with his kid, too. 318 00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:27,796 - Really? - Yeah, you can't just abandon him. 319 00:14:27,852 --> 00:14:29,257 You have to talk to him. 320 00:14:29,821 --> 00:14:32,525 Come on, Robin, you know it's the right thing to do. 321 00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:34,014 Oh, man. 322 00:14:34,732 --> 00:14:36,754 Doug was right: You are a pain in the ass. 323 00:14:38,741 --> 00:14:41,094 So I had a really nice time tonight. 324 00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:43,055 - Me, too. - Yeah? 325 00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:50,474 Hey, Ted, pucker up all you want, but I was here first. 326 00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:03,087 From this spot, I also launched an expedition 327 00:15:03,149 --> 00:15:06,176 to those two large ridges down there. 328 00:15:18,681 --> 00:15:19,614 Ted? 329 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,026 Something wrong? 330 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,386 - Hey, Doug. - Are you here to see my dad? 331 00:15:28,442 --> 00:15:29,775 He's taking a shower. 332 00:15:29,919 --> 00:15:32,106 Actually, I came to see you. 333 00:15:32,329 --> 00:15:34,294 I wrote a poem. Do you want to hear it? 334 00:15:34,442 --> 00:15:35,645 Sure. Why not? 335 00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:37,826 "To my new mommy. 336 00:15:39,871 --> 00:15:41,236 "You are pretty. 337 00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:42,537 "You are nice. 338 00:15:42,851 --> 00:15:46,314 - And you smell like daisies. " - Aw, that is so sweet. 339 00:15:46,522 --> 00:15:47,874 Even though it doesn't rhyme. 340 00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:51,195 Look, uh, Doug. 341 00:15:51,422 --> 00:15:53,774 There's no good way to say this, uh... 342 00:15:53,879 --> 00:15:55,906 Aunt Robin didn't know what to say. 343 00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:58,386 This kid has never been dumped before. 344 00:15:58,781 --> 00:16:00,226 But then she realized... 345 00:16:00,319 --> 00:16:02,676 this kid had never been dumped before. 346 00:16:03,032 --> 00:16:05,036 She could use every cliché in the book. 347 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,505 We need to talk. 348 00:16:07,241 --> 00:16:10,686 I just think, um, we both could use some space right now. 349 00:16:10,742 --> 00:16:12,677 It's not you. It's me. 350 00:16:12,742 --> 00:16:15,767 Look, I know this hurts, but you deserve someone better. 351 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,367 I'm just really trying to focus on my career right now. 352 00:16:19,452 --> 00:16:21,044 You know? 353 00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:22,877 I just hope we can still be friends. 354 00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:30,525 Hi. 355 00:16:30,701 --> 00:16:32,775 I'm Brooke. I'm here for my date with George. 356 00:16:33,109 --> 00:16:35,406 You must be the babysitter. 357 00:16:40,612 --> 00:16:44,204 I had so much coffee earlier. I need to run to the loo, but hey, Dougie. 358 00:16:48,519 --> 00:16:49,594 What the hell was that? 359 00:16:50,459 --> 00:16:52,155 That was my new mom. 360 00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:55,894 So... this picture is not of me? 361 00:16:56,052 --> 00:16:58,136 - Why would I draw a picture of you? - Wha...? 362 00:16:59,639 --> 00:17:01,705 How many dates has she been on with your dad? 363 00:17:01,731 --> 00:17:02,435 Two. 364 00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:05,114 I've been on, like, five and you like her better? 365 00:17:05,182 --> 00:17:06,795 We just really connected. 366 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,295 And what about me? 367 00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:12,074 You think I just go around pouring cereal for every boy in town? 368 00:17:12,681 --> 00:17:14,756 Why are you getting so upset, Roberta? 369 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,304 Robin. My name is Robin. 370 00:17:17,842 --> 00:17:19,444 Like the bird, remember? 371 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:20,734 Whatever. 372 00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:23,964 So that's it, huh? 373 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,766 - Look, you're great, but... - Yeah. 374 00:17:28,249 --> 00:17:29,697 There's always a "but. " 375 00:17:30,729 --> 00:17:33,467 Well, I couldn't do it. I broke up with her. 376 00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:36,394 Thanks a lot, by the way. A beautiful, sexy girl 377 00:17:36,419 --> 00:17:38,745 and all I could think about was you being there first. 378 00:17:39,201 --> 00:17:41,546 You were stuck in my head like a Chumbawamba song. 379 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,275 Which Chumbawamba song? 380 00:17:46,471 --> 00:17:49,267 Well, what an interesting turn of events. 381 00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:51,586 It looks like I'm going to win. 382 00:17:51,649 --> 00:17:53,295 What do you mean "win"? You couldn't even talk to her. 383 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,945 You tried and you got slapped. 384 00:17:55,062 --> 00:17:56,086 That's what you think happened. 385 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,647 Okay, great, rule #1: no eye patches or props of any ki... 386 00:18:00,071 --> 00:18:02,196 Here's the deal: my friend just got dumped, so he's a little shy, 387 00:18:02,229 --> 00:18:03,786 but he'd love to buy you a drink and get to know you. 388 00:18:03,809 --> 00:18:05,816 The problem is, he thinks a pretty girl like you won't go for a guy like him. 389 00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:08,584 So would you slap me across the face so he can see you're not into guys who'd feed you lines? 390 00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:10,054 What do you say? For my friend? 391 00:18:10,121 --> 00:18:11,585 You are so sweet. 392 00:18:12,982 --> 00:18:16,044 So now, whatever nice things Ted does for her, in her mind, 393 00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,985 I'm the guy who's even nicer than him. 394 00:18:18,201 --> 00:18:19,357 So you never slept with her? 395 00:18:19,451 --> 00:18:21,006 Not even at all. 396 00:18:21,362 --> 00:18:23,354 Wow, that's good. 397 00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:24,376 It gets better. 398 00:18:24,431 --> 00:18:25,836 Remember Ted's phone conversation? 399 00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:27,445 Well, have fun in yoga. 400 00:18:27,492 --> 00:18:28,185 Well... 401 00:18:30,132 --> 00:18:31,646 - I am... - Sorry. 402 00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:33,184 Stacey, right? 403 00:18:33,249 --> 00:18:36,334 Yeah... oh, you're Ted's friend from the bar, right? 404 00:18:36,461 --> 00:18:38,116 Wait, don't tell me you go to yoga here, too. 405 00:18:38,149 --> 00:18:39,095 I do. 406 00:18:39,181 --> 00:18:42,554 She plays bass in a reggae band. 407 00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:44,737 ... and then I'm going to head out to a reggae concert. 408 00:18:44,759 --> 00:18:46,007 I'm a huge fan of reggae. 409 00:18:46,039 --> 00:18:47,087 Oh, my gosh! 410 00:18:47,152 --> 00:18:48,616 I play in a reggae band. 411 00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:49,877 No way. 412 00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:51,364 I wonder why Ted didn't tell me about that. 413 00:18:51,402 --> 00:18:53,765 Like I said, I'm a huge reggae fan. 414 00:18:54,369 --> 00:18:56,076 Well... I should go inside. 415 00:18:56,372 --> 00:18:57,925 After a while, crocodile. 416 00:18:57,989 --> 00:18:59,566 - See you later, allig... - See you later, allig... 417 00:18:59,971 --> 00:19:01,707 We are two peas. 418 00:19:02,311 --> 00:19:04,414 Wow, well, take care. 419 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,474 Um, namaste. 420 00:19:12,592 --> 00:19:14,554 You are a sociopath. 421 00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:16,017 And that was my yoga mat. 422 00:19:17,212 --> 00:19:19,545 So now with Ted out of the picture, I'm going to swoop in 423 00:19:19,572 --> 00:19:20,677 and win the whole thing. 424 00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:21,374 Why? 425 00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:24,755 Parce que j'ai le jeu, mes chiennes. 426 00:19:24,782 --> 00:19:25,937 Translation: 427 00:19:26,029 --> 00:19:28,726 "'Cause I got game, bitches. " 428 00:19:29,009 --> 00:19:31,117 No. No, this doesn't prove anything because... 429 00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:32,044 Hold on a second. 430 00:19:32,970 --> 00:19:33,757 It's Stacey. 431 00:19:34,470 --> 00:19:35,974 Hey, Stace? 432 00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:37,666 What happened? 433 00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:40,334 He did not! 434 00:19:40,812 --> 00:19:42,494 Stay there. I'll be right over. 435 00:19:46,302 --> 00:19:48,944 I should've just worn that stupid eye patch. 436 00:19:50,791 --> 00:19:53,625 Oh, I can't believe you got dumped by a six-year-old. 437 00:19:53,662 --> 00:19:55,507 Whatever. He's a stupid-head. 438 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,617 I'm just... I'm done with kids. 439 00:19:58,682 --> 00:20:01,514 Of course, Robin eventually made her peace with kids. 440 00:20:01,670 --> 00:20:02,744 And as you guys know, 441 00:20:02,782 --> 00:20:05,396 she went on to appear in some very important works of art: 442 00:20:05,842 --> 00:20:06,616 yours. 443 00:20:24,916 --> 00:20:25,631 Hey. 444 00:20:26,597 --> 00:20:28,142 You know, I really appreciate 445 00:20:28,164 --> 00:20:30,311 how cool you've been about us taking things slow. 446 00:20:31,136 --> 00:20:32,671 Since Ted, you know, I... 447 00:20:32,855 --> 00:20:34,979 I don't really want to get physical too fast. 448 00:20:35,344 --> 00:20:38,002 That's what makes you so special, baby. 449 00:20:38,047 --> 00:20:41,291 Anyway, I am so psyched to be playing Sunsplash tomorrow. 450 00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,590 We go on sometime between 11:00 and 6:00, 451 00:20:43,606 --> 00:20:46,471 so you probably want to get there before 9:00 just to be safe. 452 00:20:47,636 --> 00:20:50,112 Oh... and it's gonna be muddy.