1 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:03,693 Here's what you missed Regionals is coming up 2 00:00:03,761 --> 00:00:05,128 and Jessie's left the glee club, and though it seems like 3 00:00:06,264 --> 00:00:07,831 which is confusing. 4 00:00:07,899 --> 00:00:10,200 I think I kind of like her. I don't want her to get hurt. 5 00:00:10,268 --> 00:00:12,736 Quinn's preggo and feels like she's totally alone. 6 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,771 And Sue won't leave Will alone as the poor guy's trying 7 00:00:14,839 --> 00:00:15,939 to get over divorcing his terrible wife, Terri. 8 00:00:16,007 --> 00:00:17,407 I mean, she's not terrible. 9 00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,109 She's just kind of... you know, terrible. 10 00:00:19,177 --> 00:00:21,387 Sorry. And that's what you missed on Glee. 11 00:00:25,049 --> 00:00:26,416 Is it just me, or does it feel like 12 00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:28,051 we have a real shot at Regionals next month? 13 00:00:28,119 --> 00:00:29,886 The Ohio Show Choir chat rooms have all been buzzing 14 00:00:29,954 --> 00:00:31,555 about how Vocal Adrenaline has lost a step. 15 00:00:31,622 --> 00:00:33,423 I agree-- the judges know all of their tricks 16 00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:34,691 and now that we have Jessie, 17 00:00:34,759 --> 00:00:36,293 they've lost their best performer. 18 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,629 You guys have to come to the auditorium-- it's an emergency! 19 00:00:45,703 --> 00:00:48,472 Jessie? 20 00:00:48,539 --> 00:00:50,707 What are you doing up there with them? 21 00:00:50,775 --> 00:00:52,976 I've transferred back to Carmel High, Rachel. 22 00:00:53,044 --> 00:00:54,845 I'm sorry that it's come to this, 23 00:00:54,912 --> 00:00:57,080 but you guys were awful to me. 24 00:00:57,148 --> 00:00:58,515 You never accepted me, 25 00:00:58,583 --> 00:01:00,717 you never listened to my clearly superior ideas. 26 00:01:00,785 --> 00:01:03,053 Why are you here in our auditorium? 27 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:04,654 The blogs and the chat rooms say that we're finished, 28 00:01:04,722 --> 00:01:06,323 and that you guys are ripe to topple us. 29 00:01:06,390 --> 00:01:07,557 We just wanted to show you 30 00:01:07,625 --> 00:01:09,993 a something we came up with a few days ago 31 00:01:10,061 --> 00:01:12,195 to see if you agree with that assessment. 32 00:01:20,571 --> 00:01:22,005 * Bom-bom-bom * 33 00:01:22,073 --> 00:01:25,075 Ooh, let's go. 34 00:01:25,142 --> 00:01:26,276 * Steve walks warily down the street * 35 00:01:26,344 --> 00:01:28,278 * With the brim pulled way down low * 36 00:01:28,346 --> 00:01:30,714 * Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet * 37 00:01:30,781 --> 00:01:32,716 * Machine gun's ready to go * 38 00:01:32,783 --> 00:01:34,451 * Are you ready? * * Hey * 39 00:01:34,519 --> 00:01:36,186 * Are you ready for this? * 40 00:01:36,254 --> 00:01:37,888 * Are you hanging on the edge of your seat? * 41 00:01:37,955 --> 00:01:39,623 * Out of the doorway the bullets rip * 42 00:01:39,690 --> 00:01:42,225 * To the sound of the beat * * Yeah * 43 00:01:42,293 --> 00:01:43,693 * Bom-bom-bom * 44 00:01:43,761 --> 00:01:45,629 * Another one bites the dust * 45 00:01:45,696 --> 00:01:48,231 * Bom-bom-bom * 46 00:01:48,299 --> 00:01:50,500 * Another one bites the dust * 47 00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:53,336 * How do you think I'm gonna get along * 48 00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:54,905 * Without you when you're gone? * 49 00:01:54,972 --> 00:01:57,073 * You took me for everything that I had * 50 00:01:57,141 --> 00:01:59,242 * And kicked me out on my own * 51 00:01:59,310 --> 00:02:00,610 * Are you happy? * 52 00:02:00,678 --> 00:02:02,078 * Are you satisfied? * 53 00:02:02,146 --> 00:02:03,513 * How long can you stand the heat? * 54 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,849 * Out of the doorway the bullets rip * 55 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,385 * To the sound of the beat, look out * 56 00:02:08,452 --> 00:02:09,920 * Bom-bom-bom * 57 00:02:09,987 --> 00:02:12,122 * Another one bites the dust. * 58 00:02:16,727 --> 00:02:19,095 Thanks for letting us borrow your auditorium, guys. 59 00:02:19,163 --> 00:02:20,330 It's quaint. 60 00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:38,248 It's a Carmel High tradition. 61 00:02:38,316 --> 00:02:40,817 They psych out the competition a few weeks before the big show. 62 00:02:40,885 --> 00:02:42,619 They call it a funkification. 63 00:02:42,687 --> 00:02:44,154 Meaning they show us what they've got, 64 00:02:44,221 --> 00:02:45,989 and we spiral into a deep black funk. 65 00:02:46,057 --> 00:02:47,591 Yeah. Yeah, we used to do the same thing 66 00:02:47,658 --> 00:02:49,159 to other football teams. 67 00:02:49,226 --> 00:02:50,727 You know, try and get inside their head before a big game, 68 00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:52,495 pull little pranks to intimidate them. 69 00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:54,631 Yeah, well, the difference was our football team sucked. 70 00:02:54,699 --> 00:02:55,899 Those guys are golden. 71 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,500 Come on, keep your heads up, guys. 72 00:02:57,568 --> 00:02:58,635 It's going to take more than that 73 00:02:58,703 --> 00:03:00,904 to get us into a funk. 74 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:06,943 Sync By YesCool www.addic7ed.com 75 00:03:08,412 --> 00:03:10,046 I feel so violated. 76 00:03:10,114 --> 00:03:11,948 It's like someone broke into our home. 77 00:03:12,016 --> 00:03:14,117 Look, it was just a lame little prank. 78 00:03:14,185 --> 00:03:15,785 And the fact that they're trying to get to us 79 00:03:15,853 --> 00:03:17,754 means maybe we got them spooked. 80 00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,090 Uh-uh, Mr. Shue. They aren't afraid of anything. 81 00:03:20,157 --> 00:03:22,225 That number they did was fantastic. 82 00:03:22,293 --> 00:03:23,660 You know, which doesn't make any sense. 83 00:03:23,728 --> 00:03:24,761 They had all that equipment. 84 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:25,962 How did they even get in? 85 00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:27,097 I gave 'em all keys. 86 00:03:27,164 --> 00:03:28,298 Helped them do a sound check 87 00:03:28,366 --> 00:03:30,200 over the weekend. 88 00:03:30,267 --> 00:03:31,635 Hey, this way, fellas. 89 00:03:31,702 --> 00:03:33,303 Let's punch out this wall here. 90 00:03:33,371 --> 00:03:35,805 That'll open up the space a little bit. Sue, what are you doing? 91 00:03:35,873 --> 00:03:37,273 I can't talk to you now, William. 92 00:03:37,341 --> 00:03:39,442 Drafting class is helping me redecorate around here. 93 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:41,144 You see, I have Nationals over the weekend, 94 00:03:41,212 --> 00:03:42,912 and I expect to return with a comically large 95 00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:44,214 first place trophy for which 96 00:03:44,281 --> 00:03:46,583 I have absolutely no room in my trophy case. 97 00:03:46,651 --> 00:03:48,585 As soon as you hurry up and lose at Regionals, 98 00:03:48,653 --> 00:03:51,321 this choir room will become my official trophy annex. 99 00:03:51,389 --> 00:03:53,256 You know what it has to look like? 100 00:03:53,324 --> 00:03:56,726 Elvis' gold record room at Graceland. 101 00:03:56,794 --> 00:03:58,728 Except I'll be wanting far fewer morbidly obese 102 00:03:58,796 --> 00:04:00,764 white women waddling around and crying. 103 00:04:00,831 --> 00:04:02,432 Sue, get out of my room. 104 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,402 Glee Clubbers, for you those of you whose hearing 105 00:04:05,469 --> 00:04:09,305 has not been damaged by massive doses of Acutane, listen up. 106 00:04:09,373 --> 00:04:11,675 In a few weeks, Glee Club will be finished. 107 00:04:11,742 --> 00:04:13,109 Now how do I know that? 108 00:04:13,177 --> 00:04:15,745 Well, I recently checked the odds with my Vegas bookie, 109 00:04:15,813 --> 00:04:19,282 who told me that you're 40-1 underdogs at Regionals. 110 00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:20,984 You are going to lose, and your dreams 111 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,052 will be crushed. 112 00:04:22,119 --> 00:04:23,687 Sue, can I see your trophy? 113 00:04:23,754 --> 00:04:24,921 Sure, Will. 114 00:04:24,989 --> 00:04:25,955 Hope and dream. 115 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:33,029 You dropped your trophy, Sue. 116 00:04:33,097 --> 00:04:35,632 You know, for me, trophies are like herpes. 117 00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:38,735 You can try to get rid of them, but they just keep coming. 118 00:04:38,803 --> 00:04:40,437 You know why? 119 00:04:40,504 --> 00:04:43,873 Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, 120 00:04:43,941 --> 00:04:45,308 highly contagious talent. 121 00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:46,609 Enjoy your last few days here. 122 00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:49,279 This room is mine. 123 00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,351 So you sign here, 124 00:04:55,419 --> 00:04:58,421 and here. 125 00:04:58,489 --> 00:05:01,691 And you sign here and here. 126 00:05:29,587 --> 00:05:33,123 Well... 127 00:05:33,190 --> 00:05:34,991 By the power vested in me by the bar association 128 00:05:35,059 --> 00:05:37,494 of the great State of Ohio, 129 00:05:37,561 --> 00:05:40,597 I know pronounce you no longer husband and wife. 130 00:05:40,664 --> 00:05:42,565 Mazel tov. 131 00:06:01,318 --> 00:06:04,053 You're still that 16-year-old boy to me. 132 00:06:05,356 --> 00:06:07,223 You always will be. 133 00:06:25,342 --> 00:06:29,045 All right, guys, today I want to talk to you about regrets. 134 00:06:29,113 --> 00:06:30,413 Who has some? 135 00:06:30,481 --> 00:06:33,149 Giving my heart to Jessie, just to have it crushed 136 00:06:33,217 --> 00:06:35,084 like the stage floor at a performance of Stomp. 137 00:06:35,152 --> 00:06:38,087 Thinking "trust me" was a sensible birth control option. 138 00:06:38,155 --> 00:06:39,255 We all have them. 139 00:06:39,323 --> 00:06:41,324 I just finalized my divorce. 140 00:06:41,392 --> 00:06:42,158 I regret living in a relationship 141 00:06:42,226 --> 00:06:43,860 that wasn't working. 142 00:06:43,928 --> 00:06:46,729 Letting her put me in these deep funks 143 00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:48,198 and not fighting back. 144 00:06:48,265 --> 00:06:51,134 Besides creeping us out, why are you telling us this? 145 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:54,804 Because if we lose to Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals, 146 00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,206 none of us are going to regret it. 147 00:06:56,273 --> 00:06:57,373 We will have given it our best shot 148 00:06:57,441 --> 00:06:59,142 and we won't look back. 149 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,711 But we will regret letting them get the best of us 150 00:07:01,779 --> 00:07:03,246 before the competition. 151 00:07:03,314 --> 00:07:06,049 Which is why we need to hit them back just like they hit us. 152 00:07:06,116 --> 00:07:10,286 So you want us to TP their choir room? 153 00:07:10,354 --> 00:07:12,789 Whatever the better, cooler version of that is. 154 00:07:12,857 --> 00:07:16,559 Like, uh, maybe-maybe we should steal their school statue. 155 00:07:16,627 --> 00:07:18,027 Their school statue 156 00:07:18,095 --> 00:07:21,531 is a giant bronze of a great white shark eating a seal pup. 157 00:07:22,867 --> 00:07:24,300 It weighs three tons. 158 00:07:24,368 --> 00:07:25,702 Okay, how about this one. 159 00:07:25,769 --> 00:07:27,503 All right, we get like... 160 00:07:27,571 --> 00:07:29,305 Everyone knows this is going to come down to me. 161 00:07:29,373 --> 00:07:32,976 Revenge, fear, the merciless infliction of pain. 162 00:07:33,043 --> 00:07:35,211 These are my kingdoms. 163 00:07:35,279 --> 00:07:38,481 First time I gave a wedgie to a kid, I was four years old. 164 00:07:38,549 --> 00:07:41,284 Finn and I may still hate each other for some reason, 165 00:07:41,352 --> 00:07:44,587 but we both know that defending the honor of New Directions 166 00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:46,856 is going to be our dirty job. 167 00:07:54,732 --> 00:07:55,965 Yeah, I did it. 168 00:07:56,033 --> 00:07:58,368 And I'm proud. All I did was step up and be a man. 169 00:07:58,435 --> 00:08:00,169 They got what was coming to them. 170 00:08:00,237 --> 00:08:01,371 A few of my students TP'd your choir room. 171 00:08:01,438 --> 00:08:03,606 You slashed the tires on the Range Rovers 172 00:08:03,674 --> 00:08:06,242 of all 26 of my performers. 173 00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:07,477 Those were gifts for our win at Sectionals. 174 00:08:07,544 --> 00:08:08,678 That's 200 times 26 175 00:08:08,746 --> 00:08:09,946 times four equals... 176 00:08:10,014 --> 00:08:11,681 I don't have a calculator. 177 00:08:11,749 --> 00:08:13,650 I'm sorry, you bought all your kids Range Rovers? 178 00:08:13,717 --> 00:08:15,018 We have a very active booster club. 179 00:08:15,085 --> 00:08:16,286 Look, nobody got hurt. 180 00:08:16,353 --> 00:08:17,921 It was a harmless prank. 181 00:08:17,988 --> 00:08:20,023 That's what they said about a young man in Chicago 182 00:08:20,090 --> 00:08:21,858 in 1871, who thought he'd play a harmless prank 183 00:08:21,926 --> 00:08:24,727 on the dairy cow of one Mrs. O'Leary. 184 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:26,462 He successfully ignited its flatulence 185 00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:27,897 and a city burned, William. 186 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,499 That young terrorist went on to become 187 00:08:29,566 --> 00:08:32,368 the first gay president of the United States, 188 00:08:32,436 --> 00:08:33,503 Abraham Lincoln. Enough. 189 00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:35,438 These students have committed a felony. 190 00:08:35,506 --> 00:08:37,240 They are hereby expelled. 191 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:41,210 Look, I don't want anyone to get expelled. 192 00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:42,946 I'm not going to press charges... 193 00:08:43,013 --> 00:08:44,914 as long as you pay for the damage. 194 00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,883 You can take it out of the glee club budget. 195 00:08:46,951 --> 00:08:48,017 That'll bankrupt the glee club. 196 00:08:48,085 --> 00:08:49,419 We don't have that kind of money. 197 00:08:49,486 --> 00:08:50,520 We'll get jobs. 198 00:08:50,587 --> 00:08:52,021 Give us a month. 199 00:08:52,089 --> 00:08:53,289 We'll pay you back, 200 00:08:53,357 --> 00:08:54,824 Ms. Corcoran, I promise. 201 00:08:54,892 --> 00:08:56,693 Fine. 202 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,862 Ms. Corcoran, you are as wise and magnanimous 203 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:01,064 as you are beautiful. 204 00:09:03,634 --> 00:09:07,170 Thank you. 205 00:09:07,237 --> 00:09:08,705 Well, you just can't win, can you, William? 206 00:09:08,772 --> 00:09:11,641 You never have, and you never will. 207 00:09:17,004 --> 00:09:19,806 Are you want to take a trip down that rabbit hole, William? 208 00:09:19,874 --> 00:09:21,741 I'm willing to try anything, Sandy. 209 00:09:21,809 --> 00:09:24,277 I'm just really depressed. 210 00:09:24,345 --> 00:09:26,179 I don't sell to the clinically depressed. 211 00:09:26,247 --> 00:09:28,014 You'll throw yourself off a parking garage 212 00:09:28,082 --> 00:09:30,350 and I can't have that on my conscience. 213 00:09:30,417 --> 00:09:32,318 I used to coach that glee club. 214 00:09:32,386 --> 00:09:34,754 I know what you're up against. 215 00:09:34,822 --> 00:09:37,790 You think Carmel High didn't put the fear of God in me? 216 00:09:37,858 --> 00:09:40,326 I don't know how we can possibly beat them. 217 00:09:40,394 --> 00:09:42,495 Glee is hanging by a thread. 218 00:09:42,563 --> 00:09:46,633 William, the answer is right in front of your face, 219 00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:48,601 but you can't see it because you're in 220 00:09:48,669 --> 00:09:49,903 too big of a funk. 221 00:09:49,970 --> 00:09:54,674 Vocal Adrenaline has a weakness. 222 00:09:57,478 --> 00:09:58,945 Funk. 223 00:09:59,013 --> 00:10:00,613 Use it in a sentence. 224 00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:01,781 Come on. 225 00:10:01,849 --> 00:10:03,616 Rachel. 226 00:10:03,684 --> 00:10:05,985 This cheese smells funky. 227 00:10:06,053 --> 00:10:07,186 That's because it's "from-unda" cheese. 228 00:10:07,254 --> 00:10:08,421 Shut it, Puckerman! 229 00:10:08,489 --> 00:10:09,889 Okay, okay. 230 00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:11,724 I was thinking more along the lines of... 231 00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:13,860 Vocal Adrenaline has sure put us all in a funk. 232 00:10:13,928 --> 00:10:16,195 I'm so depressed, I've worn the same outfit twice this week. 233 00:10:16,263 --> 00:10:17,764 What if I told you 234 00:10:17,831 --> 00:10:19,999 I knew how we could shove it right back down their throats? 235 00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:21,301 New Directions is about 236 00:10:21,368 --> 00:10:23,670 to make their funk the P-Funk. 237 00:10:23,737 --> 00:10:25,939 We are going to get funked up. 238 00:10:26,006 --> 00:10:28,641 The only way to do that is to beat them at Regionals. 239 00:10:28,709 --> 00:10:31,110 Vocal Adrenaline has never once done a funk number. 240 00:10:31,178 --> 00:10:33,579 They're a machine, a collective, synthesized, 241 00:10:33,647 --> 00:10:36,115 soulless beat. 242 00:10:36,183 --> 00:10:37,951 Funk is soul meets anger. 243 00:10:38,018 --> 00:10:39,919 Its passion is in its emotion. 244 00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,221 And Vocal Adrenaline doesn't perform with any. 245 00:10:42,289 --> 00:10:44,090 So you have your assignment. 246 00:10:44,158 --> 00:10:46,659 I want you guys to turn McKinley High into... 247 00:10:46,727 --> 00:10:48,561 ♪ Funky town! ♪ 248 00:10:48,629 --> 00:10:51,464 You guys can relax, I got this one covered. 249 00:10:51,532 --> 00:10:52,699 Cool. 250 00:10:52,766 --> 00:10:53,900 Hold on a second. 251 00:10:53,968 --> 00:10:55,134 I-I want a chance to get funky, too. 252 00:10:57,805 --> 00:10:59,605 Good one, Quinn. 253 00:10:59,673 --> 00:11:01,274 It even sounds funny when you say it. 254 00:11:01,342 --> 00:11:04,077 You said funk was about soul and anger. 255 00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:05,478 I have plenty of both. 256 00:11:05,546 --> 00:11:07,380 Look at me. Look at my life. 257 00:11:07,448 --> 00:11:08,448 I'm furious! 258 00:11:08,515 --> 00:11:09,615 Let's be honest. 259 00:11:09,683 --> 00:11:10,984 When white people try to be funky, 260 00:11:11,051 --> 00:11:13,987 you end up with KC and the Sunshine Band. 261 00:11:14,054 --> 00:11:15,088 I love "Boogie Shoes." 262 00:11:15,155 --> 00:11:16,856 Mercedes' racism aside, 263 00:11:16,924 --> 00:11:19,559 I will have something prepared tomorrow. 264 00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:21,394 All right, Quinn goes first. 265 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,868 Rachel, can I see you in my office? 266 00:11:30,204 --> 00:11:32,605 You seem to be taking this Jessie thing pretty hard. 267 00:11:32,673 --> 00:11:34,941 I want him to be eaten by a lion. 268 00:11:35,009 --> 00:11:36,476 Jessie, cared about you. 269 00:11:36,543 --> 00:11:37,944 No, he didn't. 270 00:11:38,012 --> 00:11:40,613 Our entire relationship was just some diabolical plan. 271 00:11:40,681 --> 00:11:42,448 They knew if they broke my heart 272 00:11:42,516 --> 00:11:43,516 close enough to the competition, 273 00:11:43,584 --> 00:11:45,218 that I'd lose my will to live, 274 00:11:45,285 --> 00:11:47,086 and then New Directions would have no chance 275 00:11:47,154 --> 00:11:48,421 at winning Regionals. 276 00:11:48,489 --> 00:11:50,323 It's textbook; You destroy the heart 277 00:11:50,391 --> 00:11:53,092 of the team's heart and you destroy the team. 278 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,228 Sandy told me how to beat Vocal Adrenaline, 279 00:11:55,295 --> 00:11:57,063 and now Rachel was inadvertently telling me 280 00:11:57,131 --> 00:11:59,565 how to beat my other nemesis. 281 00:11:59,633 --> 00:12:02,702 Suddenly, I wasn't feeling nearly as depressed. 282 00:12:04,571 --> 00:12:07,206 William, I'm gonna have to ask you to clear out. 283 00:12:07,274 --> 00:12:08,808 I received an anonymous tip from someone 284 00:12:08,876 --> 00:12:10,543 who wants to meet me here 285 00:12:10,611 --> 00:12:12,145 to discuss an illegal Hot Cheetos ring. 286 00:12:12,212 --> 00:12:13,546 Hot Cheetos have been proven 287 00:12:13,614 --> 00:12:15,982 to raise endorphins, which makes for happy kids, 288 00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:17,150 and I can't have that. 289 00:12:17,217 --> 00:12:18,317 Yeah, no worries, Sue. 290 00:12:18,385 --> 00:12:19,619 I'll just find someplace else to... 291 00:12:19,686 --> 00:12:22,088 Oh, wow. 292 00:12:22,156 --> 00:12:22,755 What? 293 00:12:22,823 --> 00:12:24,524 It-it's nothing. 294 00:12:24,591 --> 00:12:27,126 It's just... it's just the way the light hit you 295 00:12:27,194 --> 00:12:29,228 just now, you looked stunning. 296 00:12:30,597 --> 00:12:32,732 No, you're radiant. 297 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,200 Well, the week before Nationals every year, 298 00:12:34,268 --> 00:12:35,802 I have a placenta mask 299 00:12:35,869 --> 00:12:38,604 right after a rigorous session of microdermabrasion. 300 00:12:38,672 --> 00:12:41,707 Well, whatever you're doing, keep it up 301 00:12:41,775 --> 00:12:45,144 because you have never looked better. 302 00:12:47,948 --> 00:12:50,349 Well, if you'll excuse me, I should... 303 00:12:50,417 --> 00:12:51,784 I got stuff to do, so... Yeah, um... 304 00:12:51,852 --> 00:12:54,954 Look, Sue, I gotta ask your advice about something. 305 00:12:55,022 --> 00:12:57,990 I know I make it seem like I-I know what I'm doing, 306 00:12:58,058 --> 00:12:59,926 but everyone knows 307 00:12:59,993 --> 00:13:01,194 you're the kingmaker around here. 308 00:13:01,261 --> 00:13:02,328 I mean, you're this school's 309 00:13:02,396 --> 00:13:03,496 arbiter of taste. Continue. 310 00:13:03,564 --> 00:13:04,931 We're doing this funk number for Regionals, 311 00:13:04,998 --> 00:13:06,532 and I wanted to pick your brain about it. 312 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,335 I-I just wanted to know if it's too suggestive. 313 00:13:09,403 --> 00:13:11,304 And I only need two minutes of your time. 314 00:13:11,371 --> 00:13:13,106 Okay. 315 00:13:22,182 --> 00:13:31,891 * You ain't got no kind of feeling insi-ide * 316 00:13:31,959 --> 00:13:34,760 * Oh, whoa-oa-oa * 317 00:13:34,828 --> 00:13:36,596 * And I got something * 318 00:13:36,663 --> 00:13:42,735 * That will sure 'nuff set your stuff on fire * 319 00:13:42,803 --> 00:13:44,103 * Oh, oh-oh * 320 00:13:46,673 --> 00:13:53,079 * You refuse to put anything before your pride * 321 00:13:54,815 --> 00:13:56,182 * Oh, oh-oh... * 322 00:13:58,452 --> 00:14:04,490 * What I got will knock all your pride aside * 323 00:14:07,161 --> 00:14:10,062 * Tell me something good * 324 00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:16,769 * Tell me that you love me, yeah * 325 00:14:18,572 --> 00:14:22,608 * Tell me something good * 326 00:14:22,676 --> 00:14:24,977 * Tell me, tell me, tell me * 327 00:14:25,045 --> 00:14:28,781 * That you like it, yeah * 328 00:14:31,552 --> 00:14:38,991 * "Got no time" is what you're known to say-ay * 329 00:14:42,963 --> 00:14:44,397 * Tell me something good * 330 00:14:44,464 --> 00:14:49,101 * Oh, tell me, oh, tell me, yeah-eah! * 331 00:14:49,169 --> 00:14:51,304 * Tell me that you love me, yeah * 332 00:14:51,371 --> 00:14:54,640 * I like it, I like it, yeah-eah * 333 00:14:54,708 --> 00:14:57,410 * Tell me something good! * 334 00:14:58,645 --> 00:15:00,279 So... 335 00:15:00,347 --> 00:15:01,814 you feel anything there? 336 00:15:01,882 --> 00:15:03,482 No. 337 00:15:03,550 --> 00:15:05,651 Was I... 338 00:15:05,719 --> 00:15:06,786 too dirty? 339 00:15:06,853 --> 00:15:08,421 I didn't notice. I was bored. 340 00:15:11,058 --> 00:15:12,892 Okay. 341 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,392 Right, left, and flip, okay? 342 00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:28,893 Can I go shirtless under this apron? 343 00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:31,195 Look, I only hired you two losers 344 00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,364 because I'm desperate to increase my quarterly sales 345 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,799 and you'll work for less than immigrants. 346 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,667 As I'm you know, 347 00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:38,403 Mr. Schuester and I are now officially divorced. 348 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:41,005 I mean, I'm sure he talks about it all the time. 349 00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:45,476 Anyway, I'm on my own now. 350 00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:48,746 And I need to make manager by the end of the year 351 00:15:48,814 --> 00:15:51,249 so that I can maintain my lifestyle. 352 00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:53,951 Terri, that guy who gave me Bell's palsy is 353 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,353 back again today. 354 00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:56,354 So... 355 00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,855 help him. 356 00:15:57,923 --> 00:15:59,490 He's our best customer. 357 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,860 You need to go help him. 358 00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:04,962 But she just told you to do it. 359 00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,697 I have got seniority over you two losers, 360 00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:08,766 which means you have to do what I say. 361 00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:10,401 Well, then I need to kick your ass. 362 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,069 Bamboo...! 363 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:18,075 You two... apron boys. 364 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,879 You're not gonna fondle us, are you, Mr. Ryerson? 365 00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:23,881 I've recently redone my bathroom 366 00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:25,983 as an homage to Miss Jayne Mansfield. 367 00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:29,086 Pink! It's all pink! 368 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,688 This is amaranth pink. 369 00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:31,956 I need rose pink. 370 00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:34,992 But this is all the pink that we have. 371 00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,494 Wrong answer. 372 00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:39,363 Did they change the name of this place to Losers N' Things? 373 00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:40,965 Did everyone in 374 00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,667 the whole world die so they had 375 00:16:42,734 --> 00:16:44,669 to give these jobs to you two morons? 376 00:16:44,736 --> 00:16:46,170 And where's my Muzak?! 377 00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:48,873 How am I supposed to shop without my Kenny G? 378 00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:51,342 Let's go! 379 00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:53,911 Crank it! 380 00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:07,658 * In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey * 381 00:17:07,726 --> 00:17:10,428 * Butane in my veins and I'm out to cut the junkie * 382 00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:13,431 * With the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables * 383 00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:16,734 * Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose * 384 00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:19,303 * Kill the headlights and put it in neutral * 385 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:22,073 * Stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control * 386 00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:23,641 * Baby's in Reno with the Vitamin D * 387 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:27,545 * Got a couple of couches, sleep on the love seat * 388 00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:29,213 * Someone keeps saying I'm insane * 389 00:17:29,281 --> 00:17:31,215 * To complain about a shotgun wedding * 390 00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:33,518 * And a stain on my shirt * 391 00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:35,620 * Don't believe everything that you breathe * 392 00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:38,656 * You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve * 393 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,492 * So shave your face with some mace in the dark * 394 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,927 * Savin' all your food stamps * 395 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,129 * Aand burnin' down the trailer park * 396 00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:46,097 Yo. 397 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:49,133 Cut it. 398 00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:54,572 ♪ Soy, un perdedor ♪ 399 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,909 ♪ I'm a loser, baby ♪ 400 00:17:57,976 --> 00:17:59,877 ♪ So why don't you kill me? ♪ 401 00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:01,212 * So why don't you kill me? * 402 00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:12,223 I thought Jews were supposed to be smart. 403 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:17,261 Go restack the space heaters. 404 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,066 Mrs. Schuester, 405 00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:25,269 can you show me how to fold this sham again? 406 00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:28,239 Mrs. Schuester? 407 00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:30,007 Oh. I'm sorry. 408 00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:31,642 Yes, sure. Of course. 409 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,513 How old are you? 410 00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:37,181 Sixteen. 411 00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:39,584 Oh. 412 00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,321 Dear Journal, 413 00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:45,723 Something strange happened yesterday. 414 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,492 I felt something below the neck. 415 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,828 Dare I admit it? 416 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:53,164 I have feelings for one Will Schuester. 417 00:18:53,231 --> 00:18:56,100 Sexy, non-murdering feelings. 418 00:18:56,168 --> 00:18:58,235 Oh, it all makes sense now, Journal. 419 00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:01,939 True love always springs from true hate. 420 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,075 I'll admit, in the past, I've fantasized about waking up 421 00:19:04,142 --> 00:19:06,243 with Will's head on the pillow next to me, 422 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,346 except now I picture it 423 00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,214 attached to the rest of his body. 424 00:19:11,049 --> 00:19:13,584 Sue, you got a sec? 425 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,052 Yes, William. How can I help you? 426 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,922 I, uh, I wanted to bring you these. 427 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,691 I snuck a peek at your tracksuit this morning, 428 00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:22,193 and I got these to match. 429 00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:23,594 Those are cheap gas station flowers. 430 00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:24,729 I-I have no interest. 431 00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:26,797 Okay. 432 00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:29,967 But I also got you these. 433 00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:33,471 A tub of Extreme Challenge Lifestyle CarboGels. 434 00:19:33,538 --> 00:19:36,474 I had to drive to Dayton to get your favorite flavor. 435 00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:39,243 Appletini. Appletini. 436 00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:44,015 I don't get it either, Sue, 437 00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:46,651 but you can't deny that we have chemistry. 438 00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:50,454 My divorce opened my eyes to a world of possibilities. 439 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,123 I thought I'd finally have the chance 440 00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:54,892 to have all the things I'd ever wanted. 441 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,761 And then I realized, 442 00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:59,597 the only thing I want... 443 00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:00,965 is Sue. 444 00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:06,804 You have Nationals 445 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,839 this Saturday, right? Why do you ask? 446 00:20:08,907 --> 00:20:14,078 Because I'd like to take you to dinner this week. 447 00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,179 How's Wednesday night? 448 00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:16,814 Breadstix? 449 00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:19,417 Yeah. 450 00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:22,319 Good. 451 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,388 Oh... 452 00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:25,990 You know what Wednesday is, right? 453 00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,895 Hump day. 454 00:20:41,947 --> 00:20:43,214 I'm sorry, Mrs. Schuester, 455 00:20:43,282 --> 00:20:44,749 my heart's not in this. 456 00:20:44,817 --> 00:20:46,818 This whole Vocal Adrenaline thing's really getting me down, 457 00:20:46,885 --> 00:20:49,253 and we have to come up with this funk number for Glee, 458 00:20:49,321 --> 00:20:51,389 and I have like, less-than-zero ideas, and I... 459 00:20:51,457 --> 00:20:52,757 Glee?! 460 00:20:53,459 --> 00:20:55,193 God! 461 00:20:55,260 --> 00:20:56,928 This club is like toxic mold on my life. 462 00:20:59,431 --> 00:21:01,365 I'm sorry. 463 00:21:03,335 --> 00:21:05,136 What am I doing? 464 00:21:05,204 --> 00:21:07,939 This is exactly how I destroyed my marriage. 465 00:21:08,006 --> 00:21:11,843 I have this compulsive need to crush other people's dreams. 466 00:21:11,910 --> 00:21:13,077 Yeah, that's what Mr. Shue said. 467 00:21:14,012 --> 00:21:16,581 I mean, I think you're awesome, though. 468 00:21:16,648 --> 00:21:17,782 I mean, look how hard you've been working 469 00:21:17,850 --> 00:21:21,219 to try and help me fold a sham. Well... 470 00:21:21,286 --> 00:21:23,387 And you'd be a total MILF 471 00:21:23,455 --> 00:21:24,822 if it weren't for the whole faking-the-mother thing. 472 00:21:27,326 --> 00:21:28,159 You're very sweet. 473 00:21:29,528 --> 00:21:31,295 You could be my second chance. 474 00:21:32,498 --> 00:21:33,965 I'm gonna change. 475 00:21:34,032 --> 00:21:35,967 I don't have to stay in 476 00:21:36,034 --> 00:21:37,535 this post-divorce funk forever, right? 477 00:21:37,603 --> 00:21:40,104 Yeah. Yeah, right, I guess. 478 00:21:40,172 --> 00:21:41,439 Well, then I am going to help you 479 00:21:41,507 --> 00:21:42,340 with your Glee assignment. 480 00:21:45,077 --> 00:21:47,245 Okay, you said you needed a funk song, right? 481 00:21:47,312 --> 00:21:50,147 Yeah. Okay, so, 482 00:21:50,215 --> 00:21:52,316 we'll type "funk" into the iTunes, 483 00:21:52,384 --> 00:21:53,784 and we'll see what comes up. 484 00:21:53,852 --> 00:21:55,520 I never thought of that. 485 00:21:55,587 --> 00:21:57,855 Oh, Howard, I'm promoting Finn 486 00:21:57,923 --> 00:21:59,924 to assistant assistant manager. 487 00:21:59,992 --> 00:22:01,792 You'll report to him from now on. 488 00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:03,494 Do you have a problem with that? 489 00:22:07,232 --> 00:22:08,833 Wow, thanks. 490 00:22:08,901 --> 00:22:10,701 I believe in you, Finn. 491 00:22:14,006 --> 00:22:15,773 Okay, Quinn, 492 00:22:15,841 --> 00:22:18,142 it's your day to show us your funky side. 493 00:22:18,210 --> 00:22:19,443 So, take it away. 494 00:22:19,511 --> 00:22:22,213 For some of us... 495 00:22:23,348 --> 00:22:25,316 ...just simply getting to class 496 00:22:25,384 --> 00:22:26,817 takes a little bit longer. 497 00:22:26,885 --> 00:22:28,786 When you're pregnant, 498 00:22:28,854 --> 00:22:30,955 you're responsible for two lives. 499 00:22:31,023 --> 00:22:33,124 And you're walking down the hallway 500 00:22:33,191 --> 00:22:35,092 oppressed by the man. 501 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,161 Oh, my goodness, she is not about to go there. 502 00:22:37,229 --> 00:22:38,696 Hearing people call you fat. 503 00:22:39,565 --> 00:22:41,132 Sometimes it hurts. 504 00:22:41,199 --> 00:22:44,936 Sometimes you have to stop 505 00:22:45,003 --> 00:22:47,939 and hold that precious life and say no. 506 00:22:48,006 --> 00:22:49,240 This is offensive. 507 00:22:49,308 --> 00:22:50,508 Who are these girls? 508 00:22:50,576 --> 00:22:52,376 We're the "Unwed Mothership Connection." 509 00:22:52,444 --> 00:22:55,446 And that's what we're here to sing about. 510 00:23:01,453 --> 00:23:03,554 ♪ This is a man's world ♪ 511 00:23:07,092 --> 00:23:09,126 ♪ This is a man's world ♪ 512 00:23:12,631 --> 00:23:15,967 ♪ But it wouldn't be nothing ♪ 513 00:23:16,034 --> 00:23:19,003 ♪ Nothing ♪ 514 00:23:19,071 --> 00:23:23,240 ♪ Without a woman or a girl ♪ 515 00:23:23,308 --> 00:23:27,612 * Ooh, ooh, ooh * 516 00:23:27,679 --> 00:23:30,147 ♪ You see ♪ 517 00:23:30,215 --> 00:23:32,683 ♪ Man made the cars ♪ 518 00:23:32,751 --> 00:23:34,585 * Ah * 519 00:23:34,653 --> 00:23:37,021 ♪ To take us over the road ♪ 520 00:23:37,089 --> 00:23:38,656 * Ah * 521 00:23:38,724 --> 00:23:43,594 ♪ Man made the train ♪ 522 00:23:43,662 --> 00:23:46,464 ♪ To carry the heavy loads ♪ 523 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:52,370 ♪ Man made the boat for the water ♪ 524 00:23:52,437 --> 00:23:56,641 ♪ Like Noah made the ark ♪ 525 00:23:56,708 --> 00:24:01,545 ♪ This is a man's, man's, man's world ♪ 526 00:24:01,613 --> 00:24:04,715 ♪ But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing ♪ 527 00:24:04,783 --> 00:24:07,785 ♪ Without a woman or a girl ♪ He-he-he-hoo-hoo-hoo. 528 00:24:07,853 --> 00:24:12,189 * Without a woman or a girl * 529 00:24:12,257 --> 00:24:15,693 He-he-he-hoo-hoo-hoo. 530 00:24:15,761 --> 00:24:19,630 ♪ Man thinks about a little baby girls ♪ 531 00:24:20,832 --> 00:24:23,267 ♪ And the baby boys ♪ 532 00:24:23,335 --> 00:24:29,874 ♪ And after man make everything, everything he can ♪ 533 00:24:31,610 --> 00:24:33,544 ♪ You know that man makes money ♪ 534 00:24:33,612 --> 00:24:34,979 * He makes money * 535 00:24:35,047 --> 00:24:38,582 ♪ To buy from other man ♪ 536 00:24:38,650 --> 00:24:40,851 * To buy from other man * 537 00:24:40,919 --> 00:24:44,288 ♪ This is a man's world ♪ 538 00:24:44,356 --> 00:24:48,159 ♪ But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing ♪ 539 00:24:48,226 --> 00:24:50,561 * Not one little thing * * Nothing * 540 00:24:50,629 --> 00:24:53,297 ♪ Without a woman or a girl ♪ 541 00:24:55,067 --> 00:24:56,634 * Ooh * 542 00:24:56,702 --> 00:24:59,637 ♪ He's lost ♪ 543 00:24:59,705 --> 00:25:02,440 * In bitterness * * Ooh * 544 00:25:04,543 --> 00:25:05,443 * Ooh * 545 00:25:05,510 --> 00:25:07,678 ♪ He's lost ♪ 546 00:25:07,746 --> 00:25:09,880 * Lost somewhere * * Ooh * 547 00:25:12,751 --> 00:25:17,455 ♪ In loneliness. ♪ 548 00:25:33,438 --> 00:25:35,406 You're going to have to order something. 549 00:25:35,474 --> 00:25:37,208 My date will be here any minute. 550 00:25:37,275 --> 00:25:38,876 Your date's not coming. 551 00:25:38,944 --> 00:25:40,411 You got stood up. 552 00:25:51,623 --> 00:25:53,624 Right on time. 553 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,627 How dare you?! 554 00:25:56,695 --> 00:25:58,095 You led me on. 555 00:25:58,163 --> 00:25:59,730 You told me you had feelings for me, 556 00:25:59,798 --> 00:26:01,165 then you ask me out, you don't show up, 557 00:26:01,233 --> 00:26:02,967 humiliating me. In public. 558 00:26:03,034 --> 00:26:05,002 Gosh, Sue, I wonder where I learned how to do all that. 559 00:26:05,070 --> 00:26:07,204 You meddled around in my marriage, 560 00:26:07,272 --> 00:26:08,839 you terrorize the glee club, 561 00:26:08,907 --> 00:26:11,008 you continue to sabotage my relationship with Emma. 562 00:26:11,076 --> 00:26:13,544 I tried playing nice, but nothing seems to work with you. 563 00:26:13,612 --> 00:26:14,745 Cruelty was the only way 564 00:26:14,813 --> 00:26:16,447 to get your attention. 565 00:26:16,515 --> 00:26:19,049 I have no interest in dating you, Sue. 566 00:26:19,117 --> 00:26:20,918 You're a bully and you're mean to kids. 567 00:26:20,986 --> 00:26:22,353 I'm mean to everyone. 568 00:26:22,420 --> 00:26:24,021 Yeah, well, fine. 569 00:26:24,089 --> 00:26:27,491 Consider this a little taste of what you love dishing out. 570 00:26:27,559 --> 00:26:30,294 Now, if you'll excuse me. 571 00:26:30,362 --> 00:26:33,684 This is uncalled for, William. 572 00:26:33,719 --> 00:26:35,771 Good night, Sue. 573 00:26:40,930 --> 00:26:43,498 Santana, are you all right? 574 00:26:43,566 --> 00:26:45,167 What...? 575 00:26:52,342 --> 00:26:54,843 Kurt, what is going on around here? 576 00:26:54,911 --> 00:26:56,945 Coach Sylvester won't get out of bed. 577 00:26:57,013 --> 00:26:58,680 We haven't had practice in days. 578 00:26:58,748 --> 00:27:00,215 I'm fine because I have Glee, 579 00:27:00,283 --> 00:27:02,718 but these girls have sort of lost it. 580 00:27:02,785 --> 00:27:04,386 No Nationals means that four of the girls 581 00:27:04,454 --> 00:27:05,821 will lose their college scholarships. 582 00:27:05,888 --> 00:27:07,756 And the rest are just depressed and confused. 583 00:27:07,824 --> 00:27:09,491 Please, please, love me, please. 584 00:27:11,060 --> 00:27:14,630 It's really hard to feel bad for Sue Sylvester-- 585 00:27:14,697 --> 00:27:16,498 she doesn't need another trophy-- 586 00:27:16,566 --> 00:27:19,134 but some of these girls, they really do. 587 00:27:23,172 --> 00:27:25,107 Mr. Shue, 588 00:27:25,174 --> 00:27:26,742 Puck and I would like to show the class 589 00:27:26,809 --> 00:27:27,776 the true meaning of funk. 590 00:27:27,844 --> 00:27:29,511 With a little help 591 00:27:29,579 --> 00:27:31,613 from our special guest Mercedes. 592 00:27:31,681 --> 00:27:32,781 Whoo. Yeah. 593 00:27:32,849 --> 00:27:34,449 Fasten your seat belts, people. 594 00:27:34,517 --> 00:27:36,418 It's going to be a funky ride. 595 00:27:38,054 --> 00:27:38,987 ♪ Yeah ♪ 596 00:27:39,055 --> 00:27:41,657 ♪ Can you feel it, baby? ♪ 597 00:27:41,724 --> 00:27:43,292 ♪ Come on, swing it ♪ 598 00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,260 ♪ Come-come on, swing it ♪ 599 00:27:45,328 --> 00:27:47,696 ♪ Come on, swing it ♪ 600 00:27:47,764 --> 00:27:49,197 ♪ Come-come on, swing it ♪ 601 00:27:49,265 --> 00:27:51,366 ♪ Yo, it's about that time ♪ 602 00:27:51,434 --> 00:27:52,934 ♪ To bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme ♪ 603 00:27:53,002 --> 00:27:55,304 ♪ I'm gonna get mine, so get yours ♪ 604 00:27:55,371 --> 00:27:57,172 ♪ I want to see sweat comin' out your pores ♪ 605 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,041 ♪ On the house tip is how I'm swingin' this ♪ 606 00:27:59,108 --> 00:28:00,709 ♪ Strictly hip-hop, boy, I ain't singing this ♪ 607 00:28:00,777 --> 00:28:03,578 ♪ Bringing this to the entire nation ♪ 608 00:28:03,646 --> 00:28:06,648 ♪ Black, white, red, brown, feel the vibration ♪ ♪ Vibration ♪ 609 00:28:06,716 --> 00:28:08,083 ♪ Come on, feel the vibration ♪ ♪ Vibration ♪ 610 00:28:08,151 --> 00:28:12,087 ♪ It's such a good vibration ♪ 611 00:28:12,155 --> 00:28:16,892 ♪ It's such a sweet sensation ♪ 612 00:28:16,959 --> 00:28:19,061 ♪ The vibrations good like Sunkist ♪ 613 00:28:19,128 --> 00:28:20,929 ♪ Many wanna know who done this ♪ 614 00:28:20,997 --> 00:28:22,698 ♪ Pucky Puck and I'm here to move you ♪ 615 00:28:22,765 --> 00:28:25,334 ♪ Rhymes will groove you and I'm here to prove to you ♪ 616 00:28:25,401 --> 00:28:27,135 ♪ That we can party on the positive side ♪ 617 00:28:27,203 --> 00:28:28,637 ♪ And pump positive vibes, so come along for the ride ♪ 618 00:28:28,705 --> 00:28:31,373 ♪ Making you feel the rhythm is my occupation ♪ 619 00:28:31,441 --> 00:28:33,108 ♪ So feel the vibration ♪ ♪ Vibration ♪ 620 00:28:33,176 --> 00:28:35,344 ♪ Come on, feel the vibration ♪ ♪ Vibration ♪ 621 00:28:35,411 --> 00:28:38,947 ♪ It's such a good vibration ♪ 622 00:28:39,015 --> 00:28:42,918 ♪ It's such a sweet sensation ♪ 623 00:28:42,985 --> 00:28:44,252 Finnie D, break it down. 624 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:45,754 * Down, down, down, down * 625 00:28:48,958 --> 00:28:50,392 ♪ Finnie D's on the back up ♪ 626 00:28:50,460 --> 00:28:52,928 ♪ Drug free, so put the crack up ♪ 627 00:28:52,995 --> 00:28:56,064 ♪ No need for speed, I'm the anti D-R-U-G-G-I-E ♪ 628 00:28:56,132 --> 00:28:57,999 ♪ My body is healthy, my rhymes make me wealthy ♪ 629 00:28:58,067 --> 00:29:01,036 ♪ And the Funky Bunch helps me ♪ 630 00:29:01,104 --> 00:29:02,904 ♪ To bring you a show with no intoxication ♪ 631 00:29:02,972 --> 00:29:06,208 ♪ Come on, and feel the vibration ♪ ♪ Vibration ♪ 632 00:29:06,275 --> 00:29:07,442 ♪ Yeah ♪ 633 00:29:07,510 --> 00:29:09,578 ♪ Can you feel it, baby? ♪ 634 00:29:09,645 --> 00:29:11,413 ♪ I can, too ♪ 635 00:29:11,481 --> 00:29:13,749 ♪ It's such a good vibration ♪ 636 00:29:15,184 --> 00:29:18,420 ♪ It's such a sweet sensation ♪ 637 00:29:18,488 --> 00:29:21,223 ♪ It's such a good vibration. ♪ 638 00:29:22,992 --> 00:29:24,793 All right. 639 00:29:24,861 --> 00:29:26,895 Great job, guys, but that's not funk. 640 00:29:26,963 --> 00:29:28,063 I mean, the group is called 641 00:29:28,131 --> 00:29:29,264 Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, 642 00:29:29,332 --> 00:29:30,432 but that is a rap song. 643 00:29:30,500 --> 00:29:32,501 A kick-butt old school rap song. 644 00:29:32,568 --> 00:29:34,736 Does it really matter, Mr. Shue? 645 00:29:34,804 --> 00:29:37,906 We're so clinically depressed, we're doing the wrong songs. 646 00:29:37,974 --> 00:29:39,841 We're in a deeper funk than ever. 647 00:29:47,383 --> 00:29:50,185 Mercedes, 648 00:29:50,253 --> 00:29:52,020 I'm so sorry. 649 00:29:52,088 --> 00:29:53,388 You may not be a minority, 650 00:29:53,456 --> 00:29:55,957 but you certainly get how it feels sometimes. 651 00:29:56,025 --> 00:29:57,726 For nine months. 652 00:29:57,794 --> 00:29:59,361 You've had to deal with this 653 00:29:59,429 --> 00:30:02,497 your whole life. 654 00:30:02,565 --> 00:30:05,801 People making assumptions, calling you names. 655 00:30:05,868 --> 00:30:09,438 I seriously can't understand why don't feel like 656 00:30:09,505 --> 00:30:11,072 yelling at people all the time. 657 00:30:11,140 --> 00:30:13,508 What's the point in getting angry? 658 00:30:13,576 --> 00:30:15,076 Because it's infuriating. 659 00:30:15,144 --> 00:30:17,646 I hate all the looks at school. 660 00:30:17,713 --> 00:30:20,849 Don't even get me started on Puck's mom. 661 00:30:20,917 --> 00:30:23,018 You're not angry. 662 00:30:23,085 --> 00:30:24,586 You're hurt. 663 00:30:24,654 --> 00:30:26,087 You just need someplace safe 664 00:30:26,155 --> 00:30:27,823 where you can dig through all that rage. 665 00:30:27,890 --> 00:30:30,725 Get to the pain beneath it. 666 00:30:30,793 --> 00:30:32,127 So it's decided. 667 00:30:32,195 --> 00:30:33,628 Saturday you move out of Puck's house 668 00:30:33,696 --> 00:30:35,497 and you move in with me. 669 00:30:37,333 --> 00:30:39,401 I already talked to my mom about it. 670 00:30:39,469 --> 00:30:42,337 My brother went off to college and we have an extra room. 671 00:30:42,405 --> 00:30:44,072 Mercedes... 672 00:30:44,140 --> 00:30:45,941 It's cool. 673 00:30:46,008 --> 00:30:48,543 Us sisters got to stick together, right? 674 00:31:01,357 --> 00:31:03,358 Mr. Schuester? Yes. 675 00:31:03,426 --> 00:31:04,860 Come in. Thank you. 676 00:31:06,496 --> 00:31:09,664 Um, is she doing okay? 677 00:31:09,732 --> 00:31:11,967 Never seen her like this. 678 00:31:12,034 --> 00:31:14,436 She won't leave her room, and refuses her protein shakes. 679 00:31:14,504 --> 00:31:16,304 Bad. 680 00:31:16,372 --> 00:31:18,740 Very bad. Well, please, tell her I'd love to speak with her. 681 00:31:18,808 --> 00:31:20,475 Let me ask. 682 00:31:20,543 --> 00:31:21,776 Thank you. 683 00:31:24,580 --> 00:31:25,847 Careful. 684 00:31:25,915 --> 00:31:27,516 That Regionals '85. 685 00:31:27,583 --> 00:31:29,251 Very precious to Ms. Sue. 686 00:31:29,318 --> 00:31:30,352 Sorry. 687 00:31:32,788 --> 00:31:34,589 Mija, Mr. Schuester is here. 688 00:31:34,657 --> 00:31:36,191 Okay. Okay. 689 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:38,894 She agreed to see you. 690 00:31:38,961 --> 00:31:40,662 Oh, gracias por tu ayuda. 691 00:31:40,730 --> 00:31:41,663 De Nada. 692 00:31:49,605 --> 00:31:51,673 So have you come to gloat? 693 00:31:51,741 --> 00:31:55,010 I, uh... 694 00:31:55,077 --> 00:31:57,412 I hear you're pulling out of Nationals, Sue. 695 00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:58,947 You know, for some of your girls 696 00:31:59,015 --> 00:32:01,616 that's going to have some really big consequences. 697 00:32:01,684 --> 00:32:02,884 I'm tired of those kids. 698 00:32:02,952 --> 00:32:04,219 I devoted my life to them. 699 00:32:04,287 --> 00:32:06,221 And what have I got to show for it? 700 00:32:06,289 --> 00:32:10,091 Five consecutive National championships. 701 00:32:10,159 --> 00:32:11,893 Oh, big deal. 702 00:32:11,961 --> 00:32:14,195 I'm alone, William. 703 00:32:14,263 --> 00:32:16,398 I don't even like you and I was willing 704 00:32:16,465 --> 00:32:18,333 to jump at the chance to be with you. 705 00:32:18,401 --> 00:32:22,337 And, you know, for a second, 706 00:32:22,405 --> 00:32:24,306 I saw a flash of something. 707 00:32:24,373 --> 00:32:26,074 I pictured myself 708 00:32:26,142 --> 00:32:29,411 living a normal life. 709 00:32:29,478 --> 00:32:31,713 Having someone to come home to every night. 710 00:32:34,817 --> 00:32:38,186 And though I completely loathe you, 711 00:32:38,254 --> 00:32:40,889 you'd make a great trophy husband. 712 00:32:40,957 --> 00:32:42,424 And as you can see 713 00:32:42,491 --> 00:32:45,594 by my decor, I love me some trophies. 714 00:32:45,661 --> 00:32:48,430 Sue, I did what I did to you out of anger. 715 00:32:48,497 --> 00:32:49,931 I thought destroying you 716 00:32:49,999 --> 00:32:52,701 would pull me out of my funk. 717 00:32:52,768 --> 00:32:56,538 But... just made things worse. 718 00:32:56,606 --> 00:33:00,041 So is that an apology? 719 00:33:00,109 --> 00:33:02,277 Yes, it is. 720 00:33:02,345 --> 00:33:04,846 And you're not alone, Sue. 721 00:33:04,914 --> 00:33:07,148 Your kids need you, 722 00:33:07,216 --> 00:33:09,217 so you do have love in your life. 723 00:33:09,285 --> 00:33:11,586 My kids don't love me; They fear me. 724 00:33:11,654 --> 00:33:13,688 But you love them, Sue. 725 00:33:19,462 --> 00:33:21,896 Hand me my bullhorn, will you? 726 00:33:28,170 --> 00:33:29,771 Amelda! 727 00:33:29,839 --> 00:33:31,339 Make me a shake! 728 00:33:31,407 --> 00:33:32,407 To go! 729 00:33:32,475 --> 00:33:33,575 Hooray. 730 00:33:33,643 --> 00:33:35,010 Make it two. 731 00:33:44,053 --> 00:33:45,120 Hello. 732 00:33:45,187 --> 00:33:47,455 Meet me out in the parking lot. 733 00:34:28,431 --> 00:34:29,898 I hear you're a vegan, Berry. 734 00:34:29,965 --> 00:34:31,199 The souls of those poor egg fetuses 735 00:34:31,267 --> 00:34:32,467 are all on your conscience now. 736 00:34:33,369 --> 00:34:35,403 Do it, Jessie. 737 00:34:37,606 --> 00:34:40,382 Are you with us or not? 738 00:34:48,851 --> 00:34:51,052 Do it. 739 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,021 Break it like you broke my heart. 740 00:34:53,089 --> 00:34:56,150 I loved you. 741 00:35:18,285 --> 00:35:20,453 Now... nightmares of all of the mothers 742 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,722 of the little baby chicks coming after me for revenge. 743 00:35:22,789 --> 00:35:24,090 Oh, this is bull! 744 00:35:24,157 --> 00:35:26,258 Finn, Mike, Matt, come with me. 745 00:35:26,326 --> 00:35:27,827 Right on. It's time for less talking and more punching. 746 00:35:27,894 --> 00:35:30,029 Hey, what's going on? 747 00:35:30,097 --> 00:35:31,731 We're on our way to go all Braveheart on Vocal Adrenaline. 748 00:35:31,798 --> 00:35:33,666 Guys, violence is never the answer. 749 00:35:33,734 --> 00:35:36,102 It is when the question is "What's the best way to mess up 750 00:35:36,169 --> 00:35:37,103 that Jessie kid's face?!" 751 00:35:37,170 --> 00:35:38,637 Mr. Shue, Rachel's one of us. 752 00:35:38,705 --> 00:35:40,573 We're the only ones who get to humiliate her. 753 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,208 Stop! 754 00:35:42,275 --> 00:35:44,510 Get back here and sit down! 755 00:35:47,314 --> 00:35:48,781 Look, I know from experience 756 00:35:48,849 --> 00:35:51,250 that making someone else suffer doesn't make your pain go away. 757 00:35:51,318 --> 00:35:52,852 You're all amazing, no matter 758 00:35:52,919 --> 00:35:54,920 what Vocal Adrenaline says or does. 759 00:35:54,988 --> 00:35:56,756 We just need to find a way to remind ourselves of that. 760 00:35:56,823 --> 00:35:58,591 We can't just let Vocal Adrenaline get away 761 00:35:58,658 --> 00:35:59,925 with turning Rachel into an omelet. 762 00:35:59,993 --> 00:36:01,427 We're not. 763 00:36:01,495 --> 00:36:04,663 Rachel, dial Jessie's number on your phone. 764 00:36:07,100 --> 00:36:10,169 You haven't deleted his number yet? 765 00:36:10,237 --> 00:36:11,837 Jessie St. James? 766 00:36:11,905 --> 00:36:14,106 Will Schuester here. You and Vocal Adrenaline need 767 00:36:14,174 --> 00:36:17,176 to meet at our auditorium Friday, 3:00 sharp. 768 00:36:17,244 --> 00:36:19,512 Let's hear it from the internationally ranked 769 00:36:19,579 --> 00:36:21,914 Cheerios coach Sue Sylvester. 770 00:36:21,982 --> 00:36:24,250 Coach, six consecutive National titles. 771 00:36:24,317 --> 00:36:26,886 You're the Michael Jordan of cheerleading. 772 00:36:26,953 --> 00:36:28,254 Thanks, Brett, I am. 773 00:36:28,321 --> 00:36:31,056 Sue, let us know about the decision you made 774 00:36:31,124 --> 00:36:32,691 to have Kurt Hummel here 775 00:36:32,759 --> 00:36:35,561 do a 14-and-a-half minute Celine Dion medley, 776 00:36:35,629 --> 00:36:37,897 entirely in French. 777 00:36:37,964 --> 00:36:39,398 Well, I'll tell you what, Brett, 778 00:36:39,466 --> 00:36:40,900 I'm all about finding a freakish, depressed kid 779 00:36:40,967 --> 00:36:42,368 and showing him what winning is all about. 780 00:36:42,435 --> 00:36:44,203 Vive Le difference! 781 00:36:44,271 --> 00:36:46,205 Whoo! Well...well, Sue, congratulations, 782 00:36:46,273 --> 00:36:49,308 but I have to ask you, where are you going to put 783 00:36:49,376 --> 00:36:51,977 that mammoth skyscraping trophy? 784 00:36:52,045 --> 00:36:54,747 I know just the place. 785 00:37:08,628 --> 00:37:09,662 Get out. 786 00:37:12,032 --> 00:37:13,232 I'm sorry, Mr. Shue. 787 00:37:15,836 --> 00:37:18,604 Wow. You did it, Sue... 788 00:37:18,672 --> 00:37:20,439 I'll do the talking, thank you very much. 789 00:37:20,507 --> 00:37:22,508 Let me break it down for you, William. 790 00:37:22,576 --> 00:37:24,844 You're standing at a crossroads. 791 00:37:26,313 --> 00:37:28,581 This trophy will be installed in the choir room 792 00:37:28,648 --> 00:37:30,316 in a custom-built bulletproof case 793 00:37:30,383 --> 00:37:32,518 as a daily reminder of your failure 794 00:37:32,586 --> 00:37:35,354 as a man and an educator. 795 00:37:35,422 --> 00:37:36,555 And what's choice number two? 796 00:37:38,158 --> 00:37:39,391 You can kiss me... 797 00:37:40,827 --> 00:37:43,229 ...right here on the lips... 798 00:37:44,664 --> 00:37:46,532 ...with tongue. 799 00:37:48,501 --> 00:37:50,169 This is payback, isn't it? 800 00:37:54,975 --> 00:37:56,275 No one will know? 801 00:37:58,245 --> 00:38:01,180 Fine. 802 00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:07,887 You know what? 803 00:38:07,954 --> 00:38:09,455 I'm not gonna do this. 804 00:38:10,624 --> 00:38:14,393 Even your breath stinks of mediocrity. 805 00:38:14,461 --> 00:38:16,061 It's making me sick. 806 00:38:34,581 --> 00:38:36,348 ♪ Cut it ♪ 807 00:38:36,416 --> 00:38:41,387 ♪ Soy, UN perdedor ♪ 808 00:38:41,454 --> 00:38:44,456 ♪ I'm a loser, baby ♪ 809 00:38:44,524 --> 00:38:46,725 ♪ So why don't you kill me? ♪ 810 00:38:46,793 --> 00:38:47,993 ♪ Double-barrel buckshot ♪ 811 00:38:48,061 --> 00:38:52,498 ♪ Soy, UN perdedor ♪ 812 00:38:52,565 --> 00:38:55,935 ♪ I'm a loser, baby ♪ 813 00:38:56,002 --> 00:38:57,736 ♪ So why don't you kill me? ♪ 814 00:38:57,804 --> 00:38:59,271 ♪ Drive-by body pierce. ♪ 815 00:38:59,339 --> 00:39:01,707 Thanks for coming. 816 00:39:01,775 --> 00:39:03,943 After your brazen escalation of our growing dispute, 817 00:39:04,010 --> 00:39:06,712 which we were willing to put to rest, we decided 818 00:39:06,780 --> 00:39:09,048 the only way to truly funkify you is to show you 819 00:39:09,115 --> 00:39:10,416 the one thing we know you can't do. 820 00:39:10,483 --> 00:39:12,584 So enjoy. 821 00:39:12,652 --> 00:39:14,053 ♪ Roof off ♪ 822 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,422 ♪ We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker ♪ 823 00:39:16,489 --> 00:39:18,524 ♪ Tear the roof off the sucker, tear the roof off ♪ 824 00:39:18,591 --> 00:39:20,025 ♪ We're gonna tear the roof off the mother sucker ♪ 825 00:39:20,093 --> 00:39:21,760 ♪ Tear the roof off the sucker ♪ 826 00:39:21,828 --> 00:39:24,063 ♪ You've got a real type of thing ♪ 827 00:39:24,130 --> 00:39:25,798 ♪ Going down, gettin' down ♪ 828 00:39:25,865 --> 00:39:29,969 ♪ There's a whole lot of rhythm going round ♪ 829 00:39:30,036 --> 00:39:34,907 ♪ You've got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down ♪ 830 00:39:34,975 --> 00:39:39,078 ♪ There's a whole lot of rhythm going round ♪ 831 00:39:39,145 --> 00:39:41,847 ♪ Ow, we want the funk ♪ 832 00:39:41,915 --> 00:39:43,849 ♪ Give up the funk ♪ 833 00:39:43,917 --> 00:39:45,718 ♪ Ow, we need the funk ♪ 834 00:39:45,785 --> 00:39:47,653 ♪ We gotta have that funk ♪ 835 00:39:47,721 --> 00:39:50,422 ♪ Ow, we want the funk ♪ 836 00:39:50,490 --> 00:39:52,758 ♪ Give up the funk ♪ 837 00:39:52,826 --> 00:39:54,460 ♪ Ow, we need the funk ♪ 838 00:39:54,527 --> 00:39:56,195 ♪ We gotta have that funk ♪ 839 00:39:56,262 --> 00:39:58,998 ♪ Na, Na-Na-Na-Na ♪ 840 00:39:59,065 --> 00:40:03,002 ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo ♪ 841 00:40:03,069 --> 00:40:05,104 ♪ Ow...! ♪ 842 00:40:05,171 --> 00:40:07,973 ♪ Na, Na-Na-Na-Na ♪ 843 00:40:08,041 --> 00:40:11,076 ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo ♪ 844 00:40:11,144 --> 00:40:14,213 ♪ Ow...! ♪ 845 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,982 ♪ We're gonna turn this mother out ♪ 846 00:40:17,050 --> 00:40:18,283 * Give up the funk * 847 00:40:18,351 --> 00:40:23,355 ♪ We're gonna turn this mother out ♪ 848 00:40:23,423 --> 00:40:25,824 ♪ We're gonna turn this mother out ♪ 849 00:40:25,892 --> 00:40:27,526 ♪ Give up the funk ♪ 850 00:40:27,594 --> 00:40:29,661 ♪ We're gonna turn this mother out ♪ 851 00:40:29,729 --> 00:40:31,964 ♪ We turn this mother out! ♪ 852 00:40:32,032 --> 00:40:33,399 ♪ Na, Na-Na-Na-Na ♪ 853 00:40:33,466 --> 00:40:37,636 ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo ♪ 854 00:40:37,704 --> 00:40:39,204 ♪ Ow...! ♪ 855 00:40:39,272 --> 00:40:42,374 ♪ You've got a real type of thing going down ♪ 856 00:40:42,442 --> 00:40:44,376 ♪ Gettin' down ♪ 857 00:40:44,444 --> 00:40:46,812 ♪ There's a whole lot of rhythm going down ♪ 858 00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:48,847 ♪ All the rhythm goin' down ♪ 859 00:40:48,915 --> 00:40:53,252 ♪ You've got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down ♪ 860 00:40:53,319 --> 00:40:57,556 ♪ There's a whole lot of rhythm goin' round ♪ 861 00:40:59,159 --> 00:40:59,925 ♪ Yeah! ♪ 862 00:41:01,394 --> 00:41:02,828 ♪ We want the funk ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ 863 00:41:02,896 --> 00:41:04,863 ♪ Give up the funk ♪ 864 00:41:04,931 --> 00:41:08,333 ♪ We need the funk, gotta have that funk! ♪ ♪ Funky! ♪ 865 00:41:08,401 --> 00:41:09,701 ♪ We want the funk ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ 866 00:41:09,769 --> 00:41:12,538 ♪ Give up the funk ♪ 867 00:41:12,605 --> 00:41:15,074 ♪ We need the funk, gotta have some funk ♪ 868 00:41:15,141 --> 00:41:16,475 ♪ We want the funk ♪ 869 00:41:16,543 --> 00:41:18,710 ♪ Funky, funky ♪ ♪ Give up the funk ♪ 870 00:41:18,778 --> 00:41:20,879 ♪ We need the funk ♪ ♪ Hey, get down ♪ 871 00:41:20,947 --> 00:41:22,848 ♪ Gotta have that funk ♪ ♪ Hey, yeah! ♪ 872 00:41:22,916 --> 00:41:24,183 ♪ We want the funk ♪ 873 00:41:24,250 --> 00:41:25,517 ♪ Give up the funk ♪ 874 00:41:25,585 --> 00:41:27,553 ♪ We need the funk ♪ 875 00:41:27,620 --> 00:41:29,088 ♪ Gotta have that funk ♪ 876 00:41:29,155 --> 00:41:34,827 Sync By YesCool www.addic7ed.com 877 00:41:34,894 --> 00:41:37,796 See you punks at Regionals. 878 00:41:39,365 --> 00:41:41,400 They did a funk number. 879 00:41:41,468 --> 00:41:44,603 We've never been able to pull off a funk number. 880 00:41:44,671 --> 00:41:47,473 Well, that's because we're soulless automatons. 881 00:41:47,540 --> 00:41:48,975 I'm so depressed.