1 00:00:07,001 --> 00:00:13,075 Sync by n17t01, corrected by gloriabg www.Addic7ed.Com 2 00:00:18,592 --> 00:00:22,148 And now "The transcredible exploits of Zapp Brannigan" 3 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,932 brought to you by Bartley's rocket wax. 4 00:00:25,260 --> 00:00:27,460 I wax my rocket every day! 5 00:00:32,495 --> 00:00:34,941 No one can save you now, Leela. 6 00:00:35,008 --> 00:00:36,909 What about Zapp Brannigan? 7 00:00:36,977 --> 00:00:40,213 Well, obviously, Zapp Brannigan could save you, but... 8 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,647 Zapp Brannigan?! 9 00:00:41,715 --> 00:00:44,851 So, Emperor Chopchop, once again, we meet at last. 10 00:00:44,918 --> 00:00:47,854 Drop that space gun or I'll shoot... like so. 11 00:00:47,921 --> 00:00:49,722 Ooh. 12 00:00:49,790 --> 00:00:52,024 Oh! Oh, Zapp. 13 00:00:52,092 --> 00:00:54,093 Tie me back up and ravish me. 14 00:00:54,161 --> 00:00:56,529 I'd like to, Leela, so I will. 15 00:01:02,769 --> 00:01:05,304 Mmm, shake it, baby. 16 00:01:05,372 --> 00:01:06,539 Shake it like... 17 00:01:06,607 --> 00:01:08,741 I surrender and volunteer for treason. 18 00:01:08,809 --> 00:01:11,310 Emergency summons from the president, Captain. 19 00:01:11,378 --> 00:01:12,678 Oh, it's you. 20 00:01:12,746 --> 00:01:13,880 Just let me freshen up. 21 00:01:13,947 --> 00:01:16,449 Computer, Captain's musk. 22 00:01:34,501 --> 00:01:36,936 The long, dramatic corridor. 23 00:01:37,004 --> 00:01:38,971 That's never a good sign. 24 00:01:41,208 --> 00:01:42,175 Glove recognized. 25 00:01:42,242 --> 00:01:45,344 Proceed, Mrs. Eisenhower. 26 00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:48,381 Mr. President. What the hell? 27 00:01:48,448 --> 00:01:50,049 At ease, Brannigan. 28 00:01:51,518 --> 00:01:54,453 What you're about to see is highly classified. 29 00:01:54,521 --> 00:01:55,688 Reptilicus, 30 00:01:55,756 --> 00:01:57,390 hit the thingy. 31 00:01:59,226 --> 00:02:00,927 At oh-zero-hundred hours, 32 00:02:00,994 --> 00:02:04,730 planet X-3 was attacked by a mysterious death-sphere. 33 00:02:04,798 --> 00:02:07,033 Magnify that death-sphere. 34 00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:10,203 Why is it still blurry? 35 00:02:10,270 --> 00:02:12,405 That's all the resolution we have. 36 00:02:12,472 --> 00:02:14,674 Making it bigger doesn't make it clearer. 37 00:02:14,741 --> 00:02:15,975 It does on CSI: Miami. 38 00:02:17,678 --> 00:02:20,479 They fought back with advanced military hardware, 39 00:02:20,547 --> 00:02:25,051 but it was like shooting bbs at Bebe Rebozo. 40 00:02:25,118 --> 00:02:27,253 That poor, brave hardware. 41 00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:30,690 The sphere then fired some kind of hellish blackout ray. 42 00:02:30,757 --> 00:02:35,861 Erased that planet like 18 minutes of incriminating tape. 43 00:02:37,731 --> 00:02:41,167 Oh, I just wish I understood why. 44 00:02:41,235 --> 00:02:42,635 Why I should care. 45 00:02:42,703 --> 00:02:45,605 Because the death-sphere is now on course for Earth. 46 00:02:45,672 --> 00:02:48,874 Aroo! 47 00:02:48,942 --> 00:02:52,211 My God, we're defenseless, like fish in a barrel. 48 00:02:52,279 --> 00:02:53,346 Options? 49 00:02:53,413 --> 00:02:54,981 My instinct is to hide in this barrel 50 00:02:55,048 --> 00:02:56,482 like the wily fish. 51 00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:58,618 Ah, then we're down to our last hope: 52 00:02:58,685 --> 00:03:02,221 A radical new weapon built by a visionary scientist 53 00:03:02,289 --> 00:03:04,824 I once dismissed as crazy. 54 00:03:07,594 --> 00:03:10,896 Let's see how crazy I am now, Nixon. 55 00:03:10,964 --> 00:03:13,266 The correct answer is "very." 56 00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:14,967 All right, Professor, 57 00:03:15,035 --> 00:03:16,369 sock it to me. 58 00:03:16,436 --> 00:03:18,004 Top secret news, everyone. 59 00:03:18,071 --> 00:03:20,940 I've developed a tiny, one-man stealth fighter 60 00:03:21,008 --> 00:03:23,409 that's virtually undetectable. 61 00:03:23,477 --> 00:03:24,877 How undetectable? 62 00:03:24,945 --> 00:03:26,345 It's right in front of you. 63 00:03:26,413 --> 00:03:27,480 I find that... 64 00:03:27,547 --> 00:03:29,081 Ow! ...To believe. 65 00:03:30,751 --> 00:03:32,518 Hubba, hubba. 66 00:03:32,586 --> 00:03:34,553 But how exactly is this happy meal toy going 67 00:03:34,621 --> 00:03:36,756 to destroy a giant death-sphere? 68 00:03:36,823 --> 00:03:38,090 From within. 69 00:03:38,158 --> 00:03:40,159 This ship should be able to sneak, undetected, 70 00:03:40,227 --> 00:03:43,129 through the sphere's one vulnerable opening. 71 00:03:43,196 --> 00:03:44,597 What vulnerable opening? 72 00:03:44,665 --> 00:03:47,366 All death-spheres have one vulnerable opening. 73 00:03:47,434 --> 00:03:50,002 Well, sure, but who's brave enough to fly into something 74 00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:52,338 we all keep calling a death-sphere? 75 00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:54,340 - I say Brannigan. - I say no. 76 00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:56,542 - I say me. - I say Leela. 77 00:03:56,610 --> 00:03:58,744 - I say yes. - I say no. 78 00:03:58,812 --> 00:04:00,112 I say Leela, too. 79 00:04:00,180 --> 00:04:01,414 I say yes again. 80 00:04:01,481 --> 00:04:02,948 I say I shall join her. 81 00:04:03,016 --> 00:04:04,850 But it's only a one-man craft. 82 00:04:04,918 --> 00:04:05,985 I say. 83 00:04:06,053 --> 00:04:08,888 There'll only be one man... Me. 84 00:04:08,955 --> 00:04:10,823 How would you feel if I rode rear 85 00:04:10,891 --> 00:04:13,259 as your personal tail gunner? 86 00:04:13,327 --> 00:04:14,527 Creeped out. 87 00:04:14,594 --> 00:04:15,961 Then it's decided. 88 00:04:21,034 --> 00:04:23,703 Are you sure I have to sit in your lap? 89 00:04:23,770 --> 00:04:26,405 It'll help us achieve maximum thrust. 90 00:04:28,041 --> 00:04:30,076 I made you some trail mix for the flight. 91 00:04:30,143 --> 00:04:32,578 Also, this picture, to remember me. 92 00:04:32,646 --> 00:04:34,213 You hold onto it. 93 00:04:34,281 --> 00:04:36,248 I'll be back soon. 94 00:04:38,218 --> 00:04:39,385 Aah! 95 00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:41,253 Activating stealth shielding. 96 00:04:44,591 --> 00:04:46,425 Liftoff! 97 00:04:46,493 --> 00:04:47,560 I'll Roger that. 98 00:04:52,199 --> 00:04:55,601 Does anybody else feel aroused and jealous and worried? 99 00:04:55,669 --> 00:04:57,503 I haven't felt much of anything 100 00:04:57,571 --> 00:05:00,272 since my Guinea pig died. 101 00:05:08,315 --> 00:05:10,249 Death-sphere in range. 102 00:05:10,317 --> 00:05:13,252 Engaging holographic targeting. 103 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,654 Activating the force. 104 00:05:15,722 --> 00:05:19,024 Feel the entrance, Leela. 105 00:05:19,092 --> 00:05:24,029 Destination on your left in 0.3 miles. 106 00:05:27,434 --> 00:05:29,635 Zapp to Leela. 107 00:05:29,703 --> 00:05:31,871 Look at all that surveillance equipment. 108 00:05:31,938 --> 00:05:33,205 We better whisper. 109 00:05:33,273 --> 00:05:35,841 Switching to pillow talk mode. 110 00:05:35,909 --> 00:05:38,577 Look! What are those huge letters? 111 00:05:38,645 --> 00:05:41,514 V-giny? 112 00:05:41,581 --> 00:05:43,082 Doesn't ring a bell. 113 00:05:43,150 --> 00:05:47,186 Hmm, I don't like the looks of this V-giny. 114 00:05:47,254 --> 00:05:50,523 Does anyone recognize those call letters? 115 00:05:50,590 --> 00:05:52,024 Nope. 116 00:05:52,092 --> 00:05:54,126 It's not in the janeway's guide either. 117 00:05:54,194 --> 00:05:56,562 Deciphering that I.D. code is critical. 118 00:05:56,630 --> 00:05:59,799 I'll be in the chamber of understanding. 119 00:06:07,641 --> 00:06:11,143 This is it... the moment we should have trained for. 120 00:06:26,092 --> 00:06:28,494 Holy cr... 121 00:06:29,629 --> 00:06:32,331 - Incoming yucky. - Firing pocket-rocket! 122 00:06:37,237 --> 00:06:39,405 Don't panic, Leela. Go, go, go, go, go. 123 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,647 I hope this is the control stick. 124 00:06:53,286 --> 00:06:55,855 Captain's log. 125 00:06:55,922 --> 00:06:57,890 We've lost control. Addendum... 126 00:07:06,992 --> 00:07:09,994 Chapter two: "The heat thickens." 127 00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:12,430 Leela, wake up. 128 00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:14,732 I can't face this mysterious planet alone 129 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,668 without you or someone like you. 130 00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:20,572 Zapp? Zapp, wake up. 131 00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,175 Leela, where are we? 132 00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:26,377 We crashed on an uncharted planet. 133 00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:29,080 When I woke up, I was pinned under this tree. 134 00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:30,248 Can you help me? 135 00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:32,750 If anyone can move it, I can. 136 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,120 No one can move it. 137 00:07:36,188 --> 00:07:37,322 Are you hurt? 138 00:07:37,389 --> 00:07:39,657 No, but I'm so thirsty. 139 00:07:39,725 --> 00:07:42,360 This space suit is making me sweat like a sow. 140 00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:44,262 Me, too. We'd better strip them off 141 00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:47,098 and continue surviving au naturel. 142 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:50,335 Uh... I suppose so. 143 00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:54,339 Here, we can cover ourselves 144 00:07:54,406 --> 00:07:56,808 with these sticky, sap-covered leaves. 145 00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:59,410 I'll try to avert my eyes from your nudery. 146 00:07:59,478 --> 00:08:00,612 You will? 147 00:08:00,679 --> 00:08:01,846 Eh, what's the point? 148 00:08:01,914 --> 00:08:03,481 You'll have to look sooner or later. 149 00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:06,484 Well, I promise not to abuse the privilege. 150 00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:07,752 For now I'd better scout ound 151 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,554 for food and water and help. 152 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:12,323 What a thoughtful and considerate thing to say. 153 00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:13,958 What the hell's wrong with you? 154 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:15,460 I'm not quite sure. 155 00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:18,663 Perhaps it's the fresh air or a severe head injury. 156 00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,798 In any case, I'm off. 157 00:08:20,866 --> 00:08:24,302 If you see any steaks, that'd be good! 158 00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:27,672 Why isn't Leela back yet? 159 00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:29,007 Do you think she's okay? 160 00:08:29,074 --> 00:08:30,208 How should I know? 161 00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:32,377 And how come you never ask if I'm okay? 162 00:08:32,444 --> 00:08:34,312 I'm feeling a little neglected here. 163 00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,581 Oh, sorry. Are you okay, Bender? 164 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:37,715 Shut up. 165 00:08:37,783 --> 00:08:38,950 What difference does it make? 166 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,351 When that death-sphere gets here, 167 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:42,587 we'll all be blown to manwich meat. 168 00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:44,689 Well, I guess it's time to indulge 169 00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:46,925 in some end-of-the-world debauchery. 170 00:08:46,992 --> 00:08:49,093 Who's up for an orgy? 171 00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:54,365 Maybe a parcheesi tournament. 172 00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,367 Belay that parcheesi tournament. 173 00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:59,070 I've identified the death-sphere. 174 00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:02,473 We may yet have a faint hope of survival. 175 00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:05,310 Still, a parcheesi tournament. 176 00:09:05,377 --> 00:09:09,280 This is a top secret military satellite 177 00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:12,216 launched by the air force in 1998. 178 00:09:12,284 --> 00:09:16,054 And this is a top secret FCC satellite 179 00:09:16,121 --> 00:09:17,855 launched that same year 180 00:09:17,923 --> 00:09:20,325 to censor indecent TV programs. 181 00:09:20,392 --> 00:09:22,827 Like The Pimpsons and Ass-o-rama? 182 00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,228 Precisely. 183 00:09:24,296 --> 00:09:26,798 However, the satellites collided shortly after launch 184 00:09:26,865 --> 00:09:29,000 and were never heard from again. 185 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,368 I found the board! 186 00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:32,136 Now I've simulated that collision 187 00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:34,205 using shrapnel-vision. 188 00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:43,281 Granted, all that makes perfect sense. 189 00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:46,017 But why is this death-sphere destroying planets? 190 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,186 That makes the most sense of all. 191 00:09:48,253 --> 00:09:50,989 Look at the planets it's destroyed so far. 192 00:09:51,056 --> 00:09:55,059 First came X-3 the nude beach planet, 193 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:57,228 then Poopiter, 194 00:09:57,296 --> 00:09:59,797 and finally that world that can't be mentioned 195 00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:01,799 in polite company. 196 00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:03,134 You mean... 197 00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:04,702 How dare you. 198 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,871 So the death-sphere 199 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,907 is "censoring" indecent planets? 200 00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:11,376 Indeed, and we're next, 201 00:10:11,443 --> 00:10:14,045 if we can't keep it in our collective pants. 202 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:17,148 Our sole hope is to persuade the people of Earth 203 00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:19,550 to abandon their smutty ways. 204 00:10:20,819 --> 00:10:23,221 So the orgy's off? 205 00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:25,890 So thirsty. 206 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:29,327 Why couldn't a water fountain have fallen on me? 207 00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,362 I couldn't find any water, but the moisture 208 00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:34,132 in these fruit-nut-berries should sustain you. 209 00:10:34,199 --> 00:10:36,167 Thank you. 210 00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:39,070 I climbed perilously high into the trees to pick them, 211 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:42,140 yet I saw no sign of intelligent life. 212 00:10:42,207 --> 00:10:43,341 Bummer. 213 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:44,542 Moreover, the crash 214 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,511 totally destroyed our ship. 215 00:10:46,578 --> 00:10:48,913 So we're stuck here until someone finds us? 216 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,715 Alas, that may never happen. 217 00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:53,651 Stealth technology makes the ship impossible to locate, 218 00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,853 yet easy to stub your crotch on. 219 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,723 Well, there's worse places to be marooned. 220 00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:00,992 Plenty of food, mild climate. 221 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,795 I's a veritable Garden of Eden. 222 00:11:03,862 --> 00:11:05,730 It is? 223 00:11:10,869 --> 00:11:12,203 Hello. 224 00:11:12,271 --> 00:11:13,571 Did that snake say hello? 225 00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:16,307 No. We're both delirious from dehydration. 226 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:18,876 Just like Adam and Eve. 227 00:11:23,715 --> 00:11:25,283 We can still save Earth. 228 00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:27,485 People are sure to clean up their act 229 00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,687 when presented with cold, hard facts 230 00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:32,023 by rational folks like us. 231 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,759 The end is near! 232 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:36,794 Repent thy sins! 233 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,129 I'll thinks it overs 234 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,598 while I engages is five-dollar hooker. 235 00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:42,900 Don't do it! It's not worth it! 236 00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:44,602 Okay, make it three dollars. 237 00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:47,872 Yuck! I don't wants no three-dollar hooker. 238 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:50,942 I'm going backs to the adults bookstore. 239 00:11:51,009 --> 00:11:52,176 Adult bookstore? 240 00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:53,945 I thought this was the public library. 241 00:11:54,012 --> 00:11:56,747 No. Pubic library. 242 00:11:56,815 --> 00:11:59,250 Zapp? Where are you? 243 00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:02,453 Oh, God, I'm actually starting to miss him. 244 00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:04,789 Maybe you two belong together. 245 00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:07,191 We do not. And you can't talk. 246 00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:08,259 Oh, come on. 247 00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:10,828 It must be an awful temptation. 248 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:13,731 Guess who just killed a woodchuck with his bare feet? 249 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,802 I thought I'd whip us up some shelter. 250 00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,604 Make this a little more like home. 251 00:12:19,671 --> 00:12:21,506 I do miss the Earth terribly. 252 00:12:21,573 --> 00:12:23,908 I wonder if it's even still there? 253 00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:25,943 Let's find out together. I'll brave 254 00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:29,280 the ship's wreckage to fetch you the telescope. 255 00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,015 That's so sweet. 256 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,284 I'm just sayin', is all. 257 00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:47,765 I know my new plan is a long shot, 258 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,867 but it's the only hope left. 259 00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:52,236 Well, now I've heard everything. 260 00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:53,471 On my iPod. 261 00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:55,006 So, do you have a new plan, Professor? 262 00:12:55,073 --> 00:12:56,641 And is there any hope left? 263 00:12:56,708 --> 00:13:00,778 Indeed. We're here on Earth's last unspoiled acre 264 00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,113 to show the death-sphere 265 00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:04,515 there's still purity in the world. 266 00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,317 Begin transmitting. 267 00:13:07,986 --> 00:13:10,221 Commence purity chant. 268 00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:17,962 Hey, I'm proud of you, Bender... 269 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:19,864 avoiding sin for almost a full minute. 270 00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:21,265 Bender? 271 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:24,669 Oh yeah, baby, you're quite a dish. 272 00:13:26,838 --> 00:13:28,172 Oh, yeah. 273 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,341 Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Ooh! 274 00:13:30,409 --> 00:13:32,877 - Oh, no. - Bender, stop! 275 00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:34,111 Stop! 276 00:13:34,179 --> 00:13:35,580 Eh, quiet your riot. 277 00:13:35,647 --> 00:13:39,450 What's the worst that could happen? 278 00:13:49,027 --> 00:13:50,895 No... no! 279 00:13:52,764 --> 00:13:54,198 Earth is gone! 280 00:13:54,266 --> 00:13:57,568 We're the only two humans left in the universe! 281 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:01,939 Oh, God, I'm sorry, Leela. 282 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:05,276 Maybe... maybe this was meant to be. 283 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,646 Maybe you and I were meant to build a new world here. 284 00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,881 We can avoid humanity's mistakes. 285 00:14:10,949 --> 00:14:12,049 Like the tuba. 286 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:13,251 Yes! 287 00:14:13,318 --> 00:14:14,819 We'll be like Adam and Eve. 288 00:14:14,886 --> 00:14:16,120 Only without the tuba. 289 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,955 And we'll beget little Zapp junior. 290 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,223 And Leela junior. 291 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,125 And they'll have kids of their own. 292 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,894 Yuck! Is that really what happened in the Bible? 293 00:14:23,962 --> 00:14:26,864 It's a sick and twisted book of holiness, all right. 294 00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:28,532 Then we'll write our own Bible. 295 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:31,569 With less Sodom and more Gomorrah. 296 00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:32,837 Let's do it. 297 00:14:32,904 --> 00:14:35,239 I shall become the mother of a new world, 298 00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:37,108 trapped here, under this tree. 299 00:14:37,175 --> 00:14:38,809 The tree of knowledge. 300 00:14:38,877 --> 00:14:41,078 Look, it even has apples! 301 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,681 Ow! Wow! 302 00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:46,684 Come here, Adam. 303 00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:49,186 Partake of my forbidden fruit. 304 00:14:49,254 --> 00:14:51,289 Thee will be done. 305 00:14:58,471 --> 00:15:02,107 Wait. One more bite before we begin the begetting. 306 00:15:03,509 --> 00:15:05,310 Mmm. Juicy. 307 00:15:05,378 --> 00:15:07,479 Those nut-berries you found were so salty, 308 00:15:07,547 --> 00:15:09,681 I couldn't think straight. 309 00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:14,686 I mean, not to belabor it, but they were as salty 310 00:15:14,754 --> 00:15:17,322 as that bag of trail mix Fry gave me. 311 00:15:17,390 --> 00:15:19,357 Exactly as salty. 312 00:15:19,425 --> 00:15:21,760 Hey! Wait a second! 313 00:15:21,828 --> 00:15:23,195 Uh... 314 00:15:23,262 --> 00:15:25,530 Oh... 315 00:15:27,633 --> 00:15:31,036 I have a terrible confession to make. 316 00:15:31,103 --> 00:15:34,272 You see, when I first went foraging, 317 00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:35,740 what I actually found 318 00:15:35,808 --> 00:15:37,876 was the smoldering wreckage of the ship. 319 00:15:37,944 --> 00:15:39,878 Ignoring all danger, I charged 320 00:15:39,946 --> 00:15:42,814 inside to liberate our provisions. 321 00:15:42,882 --> 00:15:45,183 So this is the trail mix Fry gave me! 322 00:15:45,251 --> 00:15:49,621 Yes. I exaggerated when I said I picked it from the treetops. 323 00:15:49,689 --> 00:15:51,389 I just wanted you to think... 324 00:15:51,457 --> 00:15:54,125 A little better of me. 325 00:15:54,193 --> 00:15:56,695 Well... your motives were good. 326 00:15:56,762 --> 00:15:59,798 And we were both loopy from dehydration. 327 00:15:59,866 --> 00:16:01,233 Hey, wait. 328 00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,468 You've been doing an awful lot of urinating. 329 00:16:05,505 --> 00:16:06,972 There's plenty of water. 330 00:16:07,039 --> 00:16:08,773 You see, 331 00:16:08,841 --> 00:16:10,942 after I selflessly rescued the trail mix, 332 00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:14,479 i braved the flames once more, in search of fluids. 333 00:16:20,987 --> 00:16:22,487 Then why didn't you give me any? 334 00:16:23,823 --> 00:16:25,457 I thought it might help you forget 335 00:16:25,525 --> 00:16:28,860 your intense hatred for me if you were a teensy bit delirious. 336 00:16:28,928 --> 00:16:30,996 So you let me dehydrate 337 00:16:31,063 --> 00:16:32,764 while you washed down the trail mix 338 00:16:32,832 --> 00:16:34,666 with imported mineral water? 339 00:16:35,768 --> 00:16:37,636 Not exactly. 340 00:16:37,703 --> 00:16:39,538 You see, besides the trail mix, 341 00:16:39,605 --> 00:16:42,207 the minibar also contained doritos, beef jerky, 342 00:16:42,275 --> 00:16:45,310 and a generous assortment of fine chocolates. 343 00:16:46,679 --> 00:16:48,413 I wanted to offer you the chocolates... 344 00:16:48,481 --> 00:16:52,117 I truly did... but I was concerned about your waistline. 345 00:16:52,184 --> 00:16:53,418 Very concerned. 346 00:16:53,486 --> 00:16:55,453 It's because I haven't been exercising. 347 00:16:55,521 --> 00:16:58,924 If only this tree hadn't fallen on me by chance. 348 00:16:58,991 --> 00:17:01,192 Oh, dear God! 349 00:17:04,964 --> 00:17:07,098 It was just after we crashed. 350 00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:09,701 I awoke first, to find you trapped. 351 00:17:09,769 --> 00:17:11,169 Leela! 352 00:17:11,237 --> 00:17:13,305 Leela, wake up. 353 00:17:25,618 --> 00:17:28,119 You could've moved this grub-infested log 354 00:17:28,187 --> 00:17:29,588 any time you wanted? 355 00:17:29,655 --> 00:17:31,289 Well, sure... 356 00:17:31,357 --> 00:17:34,025 But then I wouldn't have been able to provide the loving care 357 00:17:34,093 --> 00:17:35,827 you wouldn't have needed. 358 00:17:38,297 --> 00:17:40,532 I'd leave you to rot in this paradise, 359 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,434 if only the ship weren't destroyed. 360 00:17:42,501 --> 00:17:45,704 The ship's fully functional, isn't it? 361 00:17:48,441 --> 00:17:50,342 You see, after re-trapping you 362 00:17:50,409 --> 00:17:52,410 and before feigning unconsciousness, 363 00:17:52,478 --> 00:17:54,012 I paused to enjoy a cigar. 364 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,315 Though mellow and satisfying, it did parch me a bit, 365 00:17:57,383 --> 00:17:59,084 so I went in search of brandy. 366 00:17:59,151 --> 00:18:01,219 That's when my keen senses detected 367 00:18:01,287 --> 00:18:03,455 the still-invisible ship. 368 00:18:03,522 --> 00:18:04,923 Ow! 369 00:18:06,325 --> 00:18:08,226 So we can go back to Earth? 370 00:18:08,294 --> 00:18:11,329 But there is no Earth anymore! 371 00:18:11,397 --> 00:18:12,964 Everyone I know is dead! 372 00:18:14,834 --> 00:18:17,502 Ah, this seems like a good place to take a dump. 373 00:18:17,570 --> 00:18:20,605 Leela?! You're alive! 374 00:18:20,673 --> 00:18:22,340 Fry! 375 00:18:22,408 --> 00:18:25,577 But how did you find this planet? 376 00:18:25,645 --> 00:18:27,312 Well? 377 00:18:29,181 --> 00:18:31,049 We're actually on Earth. 378 00:18:31,117 --> 00:18:33,118 The ship's homing device brought us back. 379 00:18:33,185 --> 00:18:34,953 But I saw Earth explode. 380 00:18:35,021 --> 00:18:38,156 I'm actually kind of proud of this one. 381 00:18:38,224 --> 00:18:39,658 You see, what you saw 382 00:18:39,725 --> 00:18:42,127 was merely a simulation I rigged up, 383 00:18:42,194 --> 00:18:44,996 using the ship's holographic targeting projector. 384 00:18:45,064 --> 00:18:48,233 The alleged "telescope" was a toilet paper tube. 385 00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:50,835 You said there wasn't any toilet paper! 386 00:18:50,903 --> 00:18:53,038 And that humanity was annihilated! 387 00:18:53,105 --> 00:18:54,572 My motives were pure. 388 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,175 I just wanted to you to think we had to save humanity 389 00:18:57,243 --> 00:18:58,777 so you'd be willing to have sex. 390 00:18:58,844 --> 00:19:00,512 Please say you believe me. 391 00:19:00,579 --> 00:19:02,847 Yes, I believe you. 392 00:19:02,915 --> 00:19:04,249 Hee-ya! 393 00:19:05,685 --> 00:19:07,519 Yay! 394 00:19:07,586 --> 00:19:10,522 There must be something to steal on this island. 395 00:19:10,589 --> 00:19:11,890 Hey, it's Leela. 396 00:19:13,626 --> 00:19:15,226 Let's go home, everybody. 397 00:19:15,294 --> 00:19:17,328 At least the world wasn't destroyed. 398 00:19:18,531 --> 00:19:20,198 Yet. 399 00:19:23,969 --> 00:19:25,303 People of Earth! 400 00:19:25,371 --> 00:19:28,840 Hear the righteous word of the mighty V-giny! 401 00:19:28,908 --> 00:19:30,575 The mighty V-giny! 402 00:19:31,610 --> 00:19:32,711 Seeing you frolic 403 00:19:32,778 --> 00:19:34,979 in this unspoiled garden 404 00:19:35,047 --> 00:19:38,016 gives hope that this world may yet be redeemed. 405 00:19:38,084 --> 00:19:41,820 Huzzah! The purity chant worked! 406 00:19:41,887 --> 00:19:44,956 Unacceptable wardrobe malfunction! 407 00:19:45,024 --> 00:19:47,425 I was referring to Adam and Eve! 408 00:19:47,493 --> 00:19:48,793 We're not Adam and Eve. 409 00:19:48,861 --> 00:19:50,662 You see, due to a series of... 410 00:19:50,730 --> 00:19:54,399 Consummate your union, or I shall destroy Earth. 411 00:19:56,669 --> 00:19:59,070 Well... if it's to save Earth... 412 00:19:59,138 --> 00:20:01,639 I guess I could take one for the team. 413 00:20:01,707 --> 00:20:03,742 Uh, what? Right now?! 414 00:20:03,809 --> 00:20:05,777 But I need a romance first. 415 00:20:05,845 --> 00:20:07,946 Maybe a vanilla candle or something? 416 00:20:08,013 --> 00:20:09,781 Commence intercourse! 417 00:20:11,450 --> 00:20:13,918 Those giant guns are making me feel sort of inadequate. 418 00:20:13,986 --> 00:20:15,553 I'm not sure if I can... 419 00:20:15,621 --> 00:20:18,189 Move it. I gotta get home and do laundry. 420 00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:24,362 For God's sake, censor it! Censor it! 421 00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:26,798 Approved for all audiences! 422 00:20:26,866 --> 00:20:28,366 No! 423 00:20:35,174 --> 00:20:37,609 And now, the spicy finale of... 424 00:20:41,213 --> 00:20:43,982 That was a close call, but we saved Earth. 425 00:20:44,049 --> 00:20:47,318 Was it as good for you as it was for the human race? 426 00:20:47,386 --> 00:20:48,620 Oh, Zapp. 427 00:20:48,687 --> 00:20:52,123 Let's save another planet right now! 428 00:20:56,627 --> 00:21:00,098 Sync by n17t01, corrected by gloriabg www.Addic7ed.Com