1 00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:20,203 And now, 2 00:00:20,313 --> 00:00:23,214 The Transcredible Exploits of Zapp Brannigan, 3 00:00:23,315 --> 00:00:25,875 brought to you by Bartley's Rocket Wax. 4 00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:28,283 I wax my rocket every day! 5 00:00:33,891 --> 00:00:35,950 No one can save you now, Leela. 6 00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:38,119 What about Zapp Brannigan? 7 00:00:38,229 --> 00:00:41,425 Well, obviously, Zapp Brannigan could save you... 8 00:00:41,732 --> 00:00:42,892 Zapp Brannigan! 9 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,992 So, Emperor Chop Chop, once again, we meet at last. 10 00:00:46,169 --> 00:00:49,137 Drop that space gun or I'll shoot, like so. 11 00:00:51,941 --> 00:00:55,377 Oh, Zapp, tie me back up and ravish me. 12 00:00:55,478 --> 00:00:57,502 I'd like to, Leela. So, I will. 13 00:01:05,019 --> 00:01:07,749 Shake it, baby. Shake it like... 14 00:01:07,855 --> 00:01:09,823 I surrender and volunteer for treason. 15 00:01:09,957 --> 00:01:12,254 Emergency summons from the president, Captain. 16 00:01:12,358 --> 00:01:14,849 Oh, it's you. Just let me freshen up. 17 00:01:14,961 --> 00:01:17,225 Computer, Captain's musk. 18 00:01:35,613 --> 00:01:39,844 The long, dramatic corridor. That's never a good sign. 19 00:01:41,951 --> 00:01:45,078 Glove recognized. Proceed, Mrs. Eisenhower. 20 00:01:47,456 --> 00:01:49,356 Mr. President. What the hell? 21 00:01:49,491 --> 00:01:50,981 At ease, Brannigan. 22 00:01:52,628 --> 00:01:55,562 What you're about to see is highly classified. 23 00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:57,798 Reptilicus, hit the thingy. 24 00:02:00,268 --> 00:02:02,098 At 0000 hours, 25 00:02:02,202 --> 00:02:05,638 Planet X-3 was attacked by a mysterious death sphere. 26 00:02:05,939 --> 00:02:07,930 Magnify that death sphere. 27 00:02:10,242 --> 00:02:11,504 Why is it still blurry? 28 00:02:11,610 --> 00:02:13,578 That's all the resolution we have. 29 00:02:13,679 --> 00:02:15,909 Making it bigger doesn't make it clearer. 30 00:02:16,015 --> 00:02:17,777 It does on CSI: Miami. 31 00:02:18,983 --> 00:02:21,747 They fought back with advanced military hardware, 32 00:02:21,853 --> 00:02:24,651 but it was like shooting BBs at Bebe Rebozo. 33 00:02:26,223 --> 00:02:28,384 That poor, brave hardware. 34 00:02:28,492 --> 00:02:31,757 The sphere then fired some kind of hellish blackout ray. 35 00:02:31,895 --> 00:02:35,591 It erased that planet like 18 minutes of incriminating tape. 36 00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:42,268 Oh, I just wish I understood why. 37 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:43,736 Why I should care? 38 00:02:43,839 --> 00:02:46,535 Because the death sphere is now on course for Earth! 39 00:02:50,078 --> 00:02:52,978 My God, we're defenseless, like fish in a barrel. 40 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,069 Options? 41 00:02:54,181 --> 00:02:57,446 My instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish. 42 00:02:57,752 --> 00:02:59,981 Then we're down to our last hope, 43 00:03:00,086 --> 00:03:03,419 a radical new weapon built by a visionary scientist 44 00:03:03,523 --> 00:03:05,548 I once dismissed as crazy! 45 00:03:08,827 --> 00:03:12,024 Let's see how crazy I am now, Nixon. 46 00:03:12,131 --> 00:03:14,429 The correct answer is "very." 47 00:03:14,533 --> 00:03:15,863 All right, Professor, 48 00:03:15,967 --> 00:03:17,229 sock it to me! 49 00:03:17,435 --> 00:03:19,198 Top-secret news, everyone. 50 00:03:19,303 --> 00:03:24,296 I've developed a tiny, one-man stealth fighter that's virtually undetectable. 51 00:03:24,708 --> 00:03:25,902 How undetectable? 52 00:03:26,009 --> 00:03:27,340 It's right in front of you. 53 00:03:27,444 --> 00:03:29,810 I find that... to believe. 54 00:03:33,883 --> 00:03:37,717 But how exactly is this Happy Meal toy going to destroy a giant death sphere? 55 00:03:37,820 --> 00:03:38,946 From within. 56 00:03:39,054 --> 00:03:41,544 This ship should be able to sneak, undetected, 57 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:44,124 through the sphere's one vulnerable opening. 58 00:03:44,259 --> 00:03:45,692 What vulnerable opening? 59 00:03:45,794 --> 00:03:48,455 All death spheres have one vulnerable opening. 60 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,258 Well, sure, but who's brave enough to fly into something 61 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,390 we all keep calling a death sphere? 62 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,365 - I say Brannigan. - I say no. 63 00:03:55,535 --> 00:03:57,526 - I say me. - I say Leela! 64 00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,730 - I say yes. - I say no. 65 00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:02,364 - I say Leela, too. - I say yes again. 66 00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:03,941 I say I shall join her. 67 00:04:04,042 --> 00:04:07,307 But it's only a one-man craft, I say. 68 00:04:07,412 --> 00:04:10,074 There'll only be one man. Me. 69 00:04:10,182 --> 00:04:14,311 How would you feel if I rode rear as your personal tail gunner? 70 00:04:14,452 --> 00:04:16,818 - Creeped out. - Then it's decided! 71 00:04:22,692 --> 00:04:24,717 Are you sure I have to sit in your lap? 72 00:04:24,828 --> 00:04:27,422 It'll help us achieve maximum thrust. 73 00:04:27,664 --> 00:04:29,028 - Ugh! - Ugh! 74 00:04:29,364 --> 00:04:31,423 I made you some trail mix for the flight. 75 00:04:31,533 --> 00:04:33,797 Also, this picture, to remember me. 76 00:04:33,902 --> 00:04:35,233 You hold on to it. 77 00:04:36,205 --> 00:04:37,466 I'll be back soon. 78 00:04:40,508 --> 00:04:42,373 Activating stealth shielding. 79 00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:49,048 - Liftoff! - I'll roger that. 80 00:04:53,586 --> 00:04:56,851 Does anybody else feel aroused and jealous and worried? 81 00:04:56,956 --> 00:05:00,948 I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. 82 00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:14,661 Death sphere in range. Engaging holographic targeting. 83 00:05:15,472 --> 00:05:16,871 Activating the force. 84 00:05:18,207 --> 00:05:20,175 Feel the entrance, Leela. 85 00:05:20,476 --> 00:05:24,936 Destination on your left in 0.3 miles. 86 00:05:29,751 --> 00:05:32,914 Zapp to Leela. Look at all that surveillance equipment. 87 00:05:33,221 --> 00:05:36,781 - We better whisper. - Switching to pillow talk mode. 88 00:05:37,124 --> 00:05:39,615 Look! What are those huge letters? 89 00:05:40,227 --> 00:05:42,456 V-GINY? 90 00:05:42,896 --> 00:05:44,193 Doesn't ring a bell. 91 00:05:45,131 --> 00:05:49,261 Hmm. I don't like the looks of this V-GINY. 92 00:05:49,369 --> 00:05:51,529 Does anyone recognize those call letters? 93 00:05:52,371 --> 00:05:55,238 Nope. It's not in the Janeway's guide, either. 94 00:05:55,340 --> 00:06:00,743 Deciphering that ID code is critical. I'll be in the chamber of understanding. 95 00:06:09,219 --> 00:06:12,052 This is it, the moment we should have trained for. 96 00:06:27,235 --> 00:06:29,829 Holy... 97 00:06:30,904 --> 00:06:33,304 - Incoming yucky. - Firing pocket-rocket! 98 00:06:38,412 --> 00:06:40,402 Don't panic, Leela. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 99 00:06:47,686 --> 00:06:49,551 I hope this is the control stick. 100 00:06:56,060 --> 00:06:58,654 Captain's log. We've lost control. 101 00:06:58,762 --> 00:07:01,663 Addendum. Whoa! 102 00:07:04,634 --> 00:07:09,503 And now, back to The Transcredible Exploits of Zapp Brannigan. 103 00:07:09,606 --> 00:07:12,335 Chapter Two. The heat thickens. 104 00:07:12,874 --> 00:07:15,001 Leela, wake up. 105 00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:19,046 I can't face this mysterious planet alone without you or someone like you. 106 00:07:21,115 --> 00:07:23,583 Zapp? Zapp, wake up. 107 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,851 Leela, where are we? 108 00:07:26,954 --> 00:07:28,887 We crashed on an uncharted planet. 109 00:07:28,989 --> 00:07:31,651 When I woke up, I was pinned under this tree. 110 00:07:31,758 --> 00:07:35,285 - Can you help me? - Lf anyone can move it, I can. 111 00:07:37,830 --> 00:07:39,798 No one can move it. Are you hurt? 112 00:07:39,898 --> 00:07:42,389 No, but I'm so thirsty. 113 00:07:42,501 --> 00:07:44,900 This space suit is making me sweat like a sow. 114 00:07:45,003 --> 00:07:49,565 Me, too. We'd better strip them off and continue surviving au naturel. 115 00:07:49,907 --> 00:07:52,306 Uh, I suppose so. 116 00:07:55,746 --> 00:07:59,614 Here, we can cover ourselves with these sticky, sap-covered leaves. 117 00:07:59,716 --> 00:08:01,774 I'll try to avert my eyes from your nudery. 118 00:08:02,051 --> 00:08:06,147 You will? What's the point? You'll have to look sooner or later. 119 00:08:06,255 --> 00:08:08,984 Well, I promise not to abuse the privilege. 120 00:08:09,090 --> 00:08:12,116 For now, I'd better scout around for food and water and help. 121 00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:14,956 What a thoughtful and considerate thing to say. 122 00:08:15,063 --> 00:08:17,929 - What the hell's wrong with you? - I'm not quite sure. 123 00:08:18,032 --> 00:08:21,263 Perhaps it's the fresh air or severe head injury. 124 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,359 In any case, I'm off. 125 00:08:24,038 --> 00:08:26,699 If you see any steaks, that'd be good! 126 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,804 Why isn't Leela back yet? Do you think she's okay? 127 00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:35,073 How should I know? And how come you never ask if I'm okay? 128 00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:36,943 I'm feeling a little neglected here. 129 00:08:37,082 --> 00:08:40,210 - Oh. Sorry. Are you okay, Bender? - Shut up. 130 00:08:40,318 --> 00:08:41,750 What difference does it make? 131 00:08:41,852 --> 00:08:45,379 When that death sphere gets to Earth, we'll all be blown to manwich meat. 132 00:08:45,489 --> 00:08:49,425 Well, I guess it's time to indulge in some end-of-the-world debauchery. 133 00:08:49,526 --> 00:08:50,788 Who's up for an orgy? 134 00:08:51,294 --> 00:08:52,522 - Yeah! - Yes! 135 00:08:53,897 --> 00:08:54,921 - Nah. - Nah. 136 00:08:55,031 --> 00:08:57,192 Maybe a Parcheesi tournament. 137 00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:59,425 Belay that Parcheesi tournament. 138 00:08:59,535 --> 00:09:01,935 I've identified the death sphere. 139 00:09:02,037 --> 00:09:05,006 We may yet have a faint hope of survival! 140 00:09:05,207 --> 00:09:07,800 Still, a Parcheesi tournament. 141 00:09:08,710 --> 00:09:11,736 This is a top-secret military satellite 142 00:09:11,846 --> 00:09:14,609 launched by the air force in 1998. 143 00:09:15,515 --> 00:09:20,316 And this is a top-secret FCC satellite launched that same year 144 00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:22,887 to censor indecent TV programs. 145 00:09:22,988 --> 00:09:25,149 Like The Pimpsons and Ass-o-rama? 146 00:09:25,257 --> 00:09:26,315 Precisely. 147 00:09:26,425 --> 00:09:29,417 However, the satellites collided shortly after launch 148 00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:31,461 and were never heard from again. 149 00:09:31,563 --> 00:09:32,894 I found the board! 150 00:09:32,997 --> 00:09:36,660 Now I've simulated that collision using shrapnel-vision. 151 00:09:44,274 --> 00:09:46,105 Granted, all that makes perfect sense. 152 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,575 But why is this death sphere destroying planets? 153 00:09:48,678 --> 00:09:50,703 That makes the most sense of all. 154 00:09:50,947 --> 00:09:53,541 Look at the planets it's destroyed so far. 155 00:09:53,816 --> 00:09:56,841 First came X-3, the nude beach planet, 156 00:09:57,719 --> 00:09:59,710 then, Poopiter, 157 00:10:00,122 --> 00:10:04,148 and finally that world that can't be mentioned in polite company. 158 00:10:04,325 --> 00:10:05,952 You mean... 159 00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,594 How dare you? 160 00:10:08,229 --> 00:10:12,392 So, the death-sphere is "censoring" indecent planets? 161 00:10:12,499 --> 00:10:16,936 Indeed, and we're next if we can't keep it in our collective pants. 162 00:10:17,036 --> 00:10:19,868 Our sole hope is to persuade the people of Earth 163 00:10:19,972 --> 00:10:23,271 to abandon their smutty ways. 164 00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:25,673 So, the orgy's off? 165 00:10:26,345 --> 00:10:28,744 So thirsty. 166 00:10:28,846 --> 00:10:31,974 Why couldn't a water fountain have fallen on me? 167 00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:33,550 I couldn't find any water, 168 00:10:33,651 --> 00:10:36,585 but the moisture in these fruit-and-nut berries should sustain you. 169 00:10:36,686 --> 00:10:37,983 Thank you. 170 00:10:38,989 --> 00:10:41,890 I climbed perilously high into the trees to pick them, 171 00:10:41,992 --> 00:10:44,585 yet I saw no sign of intelligent life. 172 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:45,883 Bummer. 173 00:10:45,995 --> 00:10:49,123 Moreover, the crash totally destroyed our ship. 174 00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,392 So, we're stuck here until someone finds us? 175 00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:53,501 Alas, that may never happen. 176 00:10:53,601 --> 00:10:56,399 Stealth technology makes the ship impossible to locate, 177 00:10:56,504 --> 00:10:58,472 yet easy to stub your crotch on. 178 00:10:58,573 --> 00:11:01,405 Well, there's worse places to be marooned. 179 00:11:01,508 --> 00:11:03,567 Plenty of food, mild climate. 180 00:11:03,677 --> 00:11:06,145 It's a veritable Garden of Eden. 181 00:11:06,246 --> 00:11:07,372 It is? 182 00:11:13,286 --> 00:11:14,617 Hello. 183 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,153 Did that snake say, "Hello"? 184 00:11:16,289 --> 00:11:18,813 No. We're both delirious from dehydration. 185 00:11:19,191 --> 00:11:21,056 Just like Adam and Eve. 186 00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:30,166 We can still save Earth. People are sure to clean up their act 187 00:11:30,267 --> 00:11:34,327 when presented with cold, hard facts by rational folks like us. 188 00:11:35,638 --> 00:11:39,005 The end is near! Repent thy sins! 189 00:11:39,342 --> 00:11:43,141 I'll thinks it overs while I engages this $5 hooker. 190 00:11:43,545 --> 00:11:45,342 Don't do it! It's not worth it! 191 00:11:45,447 --> 00:11:47,176 Okay, make it $3. 192 00:11:47,282 --> 00:11:50,478 Yuck! I don't wants no $3 hooker. 193 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,213 I'm going backs to the adults bookstore. 194 00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:56,290 Adult bookstore? I thought this was the public library. 195 00:11:56,457 --> 00:11:59,186 No. Pubic Library. 196 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,190 Zapp? Where are you? 197 00:12:02,295 --> 00:12:04,889 Oh, God, I'm actually starting to miss him. 198 00:12:04,998 --> 00:12:07,192 Maybe you two belong together. 199 00:12:07,299 --> 00:12:09,563 We do not. And you can't talk. 200 00:12:09,668 --> 00:12:13,365 Come on. It must be an awful temptation. 201 00:12:13,539 --> 00:12:16,598 Guess who just killed a woodchuck with his bare feet? 202 00:12:18,209 --> 00:12:22,167 I thought I'd whip us up some shelter, make this a little more like home. 203 00:12:22,312 --> 00:12:26,408 I do miss the Earth terribly. I wonder if it's even still there. 204 00:12:26,516 --> 00:12:28,006 Let's find out together. 205 00:12:28,118 --> 00:12:31,518 I'll brave the ship's wreckage to fetch you the telescope. 206 00:12:32,054 --> 00:12:35,512 - That's so sweet. - I'm just saying, is all. 207 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:52,428 I know my new plan is a long shot, but it's the only hope left. 208 00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,631 Well, now I've heard everything. 209 00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:55,863 On my iPod. 210 00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:59,206 So, do you have a new plan, Professor? And is there any hope left? 211 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:03,175 Indeed. We're here on Earth's last unspoiled acre 212 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,911 to show the death sphere there's still purity in the world. 213 00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:08,576 Begin transmitting. 214 00:13:10,589 --> 00:13:12,681 Commence purity chant. 215 00:13:19,262 --> 00:13:23,358 Hey, I'm proud of you, Bender. Avoiding sin for almost a full minute. 216 00:13:23,466 --> 00:13:24,455 Bender? 217 00:13:24,567 --> 00:13:27,160 Yeah, baby. You're quite a dish. 218 00:13:29,605 --> 00:13:32,597 Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. 219 00:13:33,142 --> 00:13:36,577 - Oh, no. - Bender, stop! Stop! 220 00:13:37,111 --> 00:13:40,274 Quiet your riot. What's the worst that could happen? 221 00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:53,956 No! No! 222 00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:56,754 Earth is gone! 223 00:13:57,096 --> 00:14:00,189 We're the only two humans left in the universe! 224 00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:03,799 Oh, God. I'm sorry, Leela. 225 00:14:04,402 --> 00:14:08,132 Maybe this was meant to be. 226 00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:11,264 Maybe you and I were meant to build a new world here. 227 00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:13,343 We can avoid humanity's mistakes. 228 00:14:13,444 --> 00:14:14,468 Like the tuba. 229 00:14:14,578 --> 00:14:17,239 Yes! We'll be like Adam and Eve. 230 00:14:17,347 --> 00:14:18,780 Only without the tuba. 231 00:14:18,881 --> 00:14:21,748 And we'll beget little Zapp junior. And Leela junior. 232 00:14:21,851 --> 00:14:24,149 And they'll have kids of their... Yuck! 233 00:14:24,252 --> 00:14:26,516 Is that really what happened in the Bible? 234 00:14:26,621 --> 00:14:29,351 It's a sick and twisted book of holiness, all right. 235 00:14:29,458 --> 00:14:33,951 Then we'll write our own Bible. With less Sodom and more Gomorrah. 236 00:14:34,061 --> 00:14:35,119 Let's do it. 237 00:14:35,229 --> 00:14:37,697 I shall become the mother of a new world, 238 00:14:37,798 --> 00:14:39,527 trapped here, under this tree. 239 00:14:40,034 --> 00:14:41,227 The tree of knowledge! 240 00:14:41,434 --> 00:14:43,459 Look, it even has apples! 241 00:14:43,770 --> 00:14:44,737 Ow! 242 00:14:45,138 --> 00:14:46,230 Wow. 243 00:14:47,941 --> 00:14:51,603 Come here, Adam. Partake of my forbidden fruit. 244 00:14:51,710 --> 00:14:53,974 Thee will be done. 245 00:15:03,454 --> 00:15:06,616 Wait. One more bite before we begin the begetting. 246 00:15:08,425 --> 00:15:09,949 Mmm. Juicy. 247 00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:14,291 Those nut berries you found were so salty, I couldn't think straight. 248 00:15:16,699 --> 00:15:18,462 I mean, not to belabor it, 249 00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:21,865 but they were as salty as that bag of trail mix Fry gave me. 250 00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:26,440 Exactly as salty. Hey! Wait a second! 251 00:15:27,042 --> 00:15:28,100 Uh... 252 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,849 I have a terrible confession to make. 253 00:15:36,050 --> 00:15:38,574 You see, when I first went foraging, 254 00:15:38,684 --> 00:15:42,484 what I actually found was the smoldering wreckage of the ship. 255 00:15:42,588 --> 00:15:47,024 Ignoring all danger, I charged inside to liberate our provisions. 256 00:15:47,559 --> 00:15:49,925 So, this is the trail mix Fry gave me! 257 00:15:50,662 --> 00:15:54,825 Yes. I exaggerated when I said I picked it from the treetops. 258 00:15:54,932 --> 00:15:58,732 I just wanted you to think a little better of me. 259 00:15:58,836 --> 00:16:01,634 Well, your motives were good. 260 00:16:01,739 --> 00:16:04,434 And we were both loopy from dehydration. 261 00:16:04,541 --> 00:16:05,530 Hey, wait. 262 00:16:05,642 --> 00:16:07,940 You've been doing an awful lot of urinating. 263 00:16:10,779 --> 00:16:13,111 There's plenty of water. You see, 264 00:16:13,482 --> 00:16:15,780 after I selflessly rescued the trail mix, 265 00:16:15,884 --> 00:16:19,011 I braved the flames once more in search of fluids. 266 00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:27,059 Then why didn't you give me any? 267 00:16:27,894 --> 00:16:30,954 I thought it might help you forget your intense hatred for me 268 00:16:31,064 --> 00:16:33,328 if you were a teensy bit delirious. 269 00:16:33,700 --> 00:16:35,462 So, you let me dehydrate 270 00:16:35,568 --> 00:16:39,231 while you washed down the trail mix with imported mineral water? 271 00:16:40,906 --> 00:16:42,237 Not exactly. 272 00:16:42,708 --> 00:16:44,299 You see, besides the trail mix, 273 00:16:44,409 --> 00:16:46,843 the minibar also contained Doritos, beef jerky 274 00:16:46,945 --> 00:16:49,709 and a generous assortment of fine chocolates. 275 00:16:51,648 --> 00:16:53,206 I wanted to offer you the chocolates. 276 00:16:53,350 --> 00:16:56,649 I truly did. But I was concerned about your waistline. 277 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,114 Very concerned. 278 00:16:58,255 --> 00:17:00,449 It's because I haven't been exercising. 279 00:17:00,556 --> 00:17:03,525 If only this tree hadn't fallen on me by chance. 280 00:17:04,127 --> 00:17:05,719 Oh, dear God! 281 00:17:09,798 --> 00:17:11,663 It was just after we crashed. 282 00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:14,458 I awoke first, to find you trapped. 283 00:17:15,103 --> 00:17:17,263 Leela! Leela, wake up. 284 00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:34,181 You could've moved this grub-infested log any time you wanted? 285 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:35,616 Well, sure. 286 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,189 But then I wouldn't have been able to provide the loving care 287 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:39,518 you wouldn't have needed. 288 00:17:42,793 --> 00:17:47,287 I'd leave you to rot in this paradise, if only the ship weren't destroyed. 289 00:17:47,865 --> 00:17:50,424 The ship's fully functional, isn't it? 290 00:17:53,136 --> 00:17:56,901 You see, after re-trapping you and before feigning unconsciousness, 291 00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:58,997 I paused to enjoy a cigar. 292 00:17:59,108 --> 00:18:01,975 Though mellow and satisfying, it did parch me a bit, 293 00:18:02,077 --> 00:18:03,908 so I went in search of brandy. 294 00:18:04,079 --> 00:18:07,912 That's when my keen senses detected the still-invisible ship. 295 00:18:10,585 --> 00:18:12,450 So, we can go back to Earth? 296 00:18:13,153 --> 00:18:17,590 But there is no Earth anymore. Everyone I know is dead! 297 00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:22,084 This seems like a good place to take a dump. 298 00:18:23,296 --> 00:18:25,093 Leela? You're alive! 299 00:18:25,298 --> 00:18:26,356 Fry! 300 00:18:27,233 --> 00:18:29,826 But how did you find this planet? 301 00:18:30,502 --> 00:18:31,594 Well? 302 00:18:33,872 --> 00:18:37,637 We're actually on Earth. The ship's homing device brought us back. 303 00:18:37,841 --> 00:18:39,570 But I saw Earth explode! 304 00:18:40,477 --> 00:18:42,707 I'm actually kind of proud of this one. 305 00:18:42,813 --> 00:18:44,508 You see, what you saw 306 00:18:44,615 --> 00:18:46,605 was merely a simulation I rigged up 307 00:18:46,716 --> 00:18:49,412 using the ship's holographic targeting projector. 308 00:18:49,552 --> 00:18:52,680 The alleged telescope was a toilet paper tube. 309 00:18:52,789 --> 00:18:55,120 You said there wasn't any toilet paper! 310 00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:57,622 And that humanity was annihilated! 311 00:18:57,726 --> 00:18:59,159 My motives were pure. 312 00:18:59,261 --> 00:19:01,491 I just wanted you to think we had to save humanity, 313 00:19:01,597 --> 00:19:03,393 so you'd be willing to have sex. 314 00:19:03,497 --> 00:19:05,192 Please say you believe me. 315 00:19:05,299 --> 00:19:07,426 Yes, I believe you. 316 00:19:12,138 --> 00:19:14,936 There must be something to steal on this island. 317 00:19:15,041 --> 00:19:16,338 Hey, it's Leela. 318 00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:21,873 Let's go home, everybody. At least the world wasn't destroyed. 319 00:19:23,682 --> 00:19:24,706 Yet. 320 00:19:28,686 --> 00:19:30,051 People of Earth! 321 00:19:30,154 --> 00:19:33,590 Hear the righteous word of the mighty V-GINY! 322 00:19:33,691 --> 00:19:35,089 The mighty V-GINY! 323 00:19:36,293 --> 00:19:39,626 Seeing you frolic in this unspoiled garden 324 00:19:39,730 --> 00:19:42,631 gives hope that this world may yet be redeemed. 325 00:19:42,732 --> 00:19:45,394 Huzzah! The purity chant worked! 326 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,503 Unacceptable wardrobe malfunction! 327 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,936 I was referring to Adam and Eve. 328 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,407 We're not Adam and Eve. You see, due to a series of... 329 00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:59,070 Consummate your union or I shall destroy Earth. 330 00:20:01,882 --> 00:20:06,251 Well, if it's to save Earth, I guess I could take one for the team. 331 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,250 You what? Right now? But I need a little romance first. 332 00:20:10,356 --> 00:20:12,415 Maybe a vanilla candle or something? 333 00:20:12,525 --> 00:20:14,356 Commence intercourse! 334 00:20:15,494 --> 00:20:18,463 Those giant guns are making me feel sort of inadequate. 335 00:20:18,563 --> 00:20:20,531 - I'm not sure if I can... - Move it. 336 00:20:20,632 --> 00:20:22,259 I've got to get home and do laundry. 337 00:20:26,637 --> 00:20:29,037 For God's sake, censor it! Censor it! 338 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,335 Approved for all audiences! 339 00:20:31,442 --> 00:20:34,467 No! 340 00:20:39,683 --> 00:20:42,276 And now, the spicy finale 341 00:20:42,384 --> 00:20:45,979 of The Transcredible Exploits of Zapp Brannigan. 342 00:20:46,088 --> 00:20:48,783 That was a close call, but we saved Earth. 343 00:20:48,890 --> 00:20:51,950 Was it as good for you as it was for the human race? 344 00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:56,758 Oh, Zapp. Let's save another planet right now! 345 00:21:36,032 --> 00:21:36,998 ENGLISH - US - SDH