1 00:00:18,792 --> 00:00:22,348 And now "The transcredible exploits of Zapp Brannigan" 2 00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:25,132 brought to you by Bartley's rocket wax. 3 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,660 I wax my rocket every day! 4 00:00:32,695 --> 00:00:35,141 No one can save you now, Leela. 5 00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:37,109 What about Zapp Brannigan? 6 00:00:37,177 --> 00:00:40,413 Well, obviously, Zapp Brannigan could save you, but... 7 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:41,847 Zapp Brannigan?! 8 00:00:41,915 --> 00:00:45,051 So, Emperor Chopchop, once again, we meet at last. 9 00:00:45,118 --> 00:00:48,054 Drop that space gun or I'll shoot... like so. 10 00:00:48,121 --> 00:00:49,922 Ooh. 11 00:00:49,990 --> 00:00:52,224 Oh! Oh, Zapp. 12 00:00:52,292 --> 00:00:54,293 Tie me back up and ravish me. 13 00:00:54,361 --> 00:00:56,729 I'd like to, Leela, so I will. 14 00:01:02,969 --> 00:01:05,504 Mmm, shake it, baby. 15 00:01:05,572 --> 00:01:06,739 Shake it like... 16 00:01:06,807 --> 00:01:08,941 I surrender and volunteer for treason. 17 00:01:09,009 --> 00:01:11,510 Emergency summons from the president, Captain. 18 00:01:11,578 --> 00:01:12,878 Oh, it's you. 19 00:01:12,946 --> 00:01:14,080 Just let me freshen up. 20 00:01:14,147 --> 00:01:16,649 Computer, Captain's musk. 21 00:01:34,701 --> 00:01:37,136 The long, dramatic corridor. 22 00:01:37,204 --> 00:01:39,171 That's never a good sign. 23 00:01:41,408 --> 00:01:42,375 Glove recognized. 24 00:01:42,442 --> 00:01:45,544 Proceed, Mrs. Eisenhower. 25 00:01:46,580 --> 00:01:48,581 Mr. President. What the hell? 26 00:01:48,648 --> 00:01:50,249 At ease, Brannigan. 27 00:01:51,718 --> 00:01:54,653 What you're about to see is highly classified. 28 00:01:54,721 --> 00:01:55,888 Reptilicus, 29 00:01:55,956 --> 00:01:57,590 hit the thingy. 30 00:01:59,426 --> 00:02:01,127 At oh-zero-hundred hours, 31 00:02:01,194 --> 00:02:04,930 planet X-3 was attacked by a mysterious death-sphere. 32 00:02:04,998 --> 00:02:07,233 Magnify that death-sphere. 33 00:02:08,502 --> 00:02:10,403 Why is it still blurry? 34 00:02:10,470 --> 00:02:12,605 That's all the resolution we have. 35 00:02:12,672 --> 00:02:14,874 Making it bigger doesn't make it clearer. 36 00:02:14,941 --> 00:02:16,175 It does on CSI: Miami. 37 00:02:17,878 --> 00:02:20,679 They fought back with advanced military hardware, 38 00:02:20,747 --> 00:02:25,251 but it was like shooting bbs at Bebe Rebozo. 39 00:02:25,318 --> 00:02:27,453 That poor, brave hardware. 40 00:02:27,521 --> 00:02:30,890 The sphere then fired some kind of hellish blackout ray. 41 00:02:30,957 --> 00:02:36,061 Erased that planet like 18 minutes of incriminating tape. 42 00:02:37,931 --> 00:02:41,367 Oh, I just wish I understood why. 43 00:02:41,435 --> 00:02:42,835 Why I should care. 44 00:02:42,903 --> 00:02:45,805 Because the death-sphere is now on course for Earth. 45 00:02:45,872 --> 00:02:49,074 Aroo! 46 00:02:49,142 --> 00:02:52,411 My God, we're defenseless, like fish in a barrel. 47 00:02:52,479 --> 00:02:53,546 Options? 48 00:02:53,613 --> 00:02:55,181 My instinct is to hide in this barrel 49 00:02:55,248 --> 00:02:56,682 like the wily fish. 50 00:02:56,750 --> 00:02:58,818 Ah, then we're down to our last hope: 51 00:02:58,885 --> 00:03:02,421 A radical new weapon built by a visionary scientist 52 00:03:02,489 --> 00:03:05,024 I once dismissed as crazy. 53 00:03:07,794 --> 00:03:11,096 Let's see how crazy I am now, Nixon. 54 00:03:11,164 --> 00:03:13,466 The correct answer is "very." 55 00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,167 All right, Professor, 56 00:03:15,235 --> 00:03:16,569 sock it to me. 57 00:03:16,636 --> 00:03:18,204 Top secret news, everyone. 58 00:03:18,271 --> 00:03:21,140 I've developed a tiny, one-man stealth fighter 59 00:03:21,208 --> 00:03:23,609 that's virtually undetectable. 60 00:03:23,677 --> 00:03:25,077 How undetectable? 61 00:03:25,145 --> 00:03:26,545 It's right in front of you. 62 00:03:26,613 --> 00:03:27,680 I find that... 63 00:03:27,747 --> 00:03:29,281 Ow! ...To believe. 64 00:03:30,951 --> 00:03:32,718 Hubba, hubba. 65 00:03:32,786 --> 00:03:34,753 But how exactly is this happy meal toy going 66 00:03:34,821 --> 00:03:36,956 to destroy a giant death-sphere? 67 00:03:37,023 --> 00:03:38,290 From within. 68 00:03:38,358 --> 00:03:40,359 This ship should be able to sneak, undetected, 69 00:03:40,427 --> 00:03:43,329 through the sphere's one vulnerable opening. 70 00:03:43,396 --> 00:03:44,797 What vulnerable opening? 71 00:03:44,865 --> 00:03:47,566 All death-spheres have one vulnerable opening. 72 00:03:47,634 --> 00:03:50,202 Well, sure, but who's brave enough to fly into something 73 00:03:50,270 --> 00:03:52,538 we all keep calling a death-sphere? 74 00:03:52,606 --> 00:03:54,540 I say Brannigan. I say no. 75 00:03:54,608 --> 00:03:56,742 - I say me. - I say Leela. 76 00:03:56,810 --> 00:03:58,944 - I say yes. - I say no. 77 00:03:59,012 --> 00:04:00,312 I say Leela, too. 78 00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:01,614 I say yes again. 79 00:04:01,681 --> 00:04:03,148 I say I shall join her. 80 00:04:03,216 --> 00:04:05,050 But it's only a one-man craft. 81 00:04:05,118 --> 00:04:06,185 I say. 82 00:04:06,253 --> 00:04:09,088 There'll only be one man... Me. 83 00:04:09,155 --> 00:04:11,023 How would you feel if I rode rear 84 00:04:11,091 --> 00:04:13,459 as your personal tail gunner? 85 00:04:13,527 --> 00:04:14,727 Creeped out. 86 00:04:14,794 --> 00:04:16,161 Then it's decided. 87 00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:18,898 Cape Knievel Flight Test Center 88 00:04:21,234 --> 00:04:23,903 Are you sure I have to sit in your lap? 89 00:04:23,970 --> 00:04:26,605 It'll help us achieve maximum thrust. 90 00:04:28,241 --> 00:04:30,276 I made you some trail mix for the flight. 91 00:04:30,343 --> 00:04:32,778 Also, this picture, to remember me. 92 00:04:32,846 --> 00:04:34,413 You hold onto it. 93 00:04:34,481 --> 00:04:36,448 I'll be back soon. 94 00:04:38,418 --> 00:04:39,585 Aah! 95 00:04:39,653 --> 00:04:41,453 Activating stealth shielding. 96 00:04:44,791 --> 00:04:46,625 Liftoff! 97 00:04:46,693 --> 00:04:47,760 I'll Roger that. 98 00:04:52,399 --> 00:04:55,801 Does anybody else feel aroused and jealous and worried? 99 00:04:55,869 --> 00:04:57,703 I haven't felt much of anything 100 00:04:57,771 --> 00:05:00,472 since my Guinea pig died. 101 00:05:08,515 --> 00:05:10,449 Death-sphere in range. 102 00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:13,452 Engaging holographic targeting. 103 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,854 Activating the force. 104 00:05:15,922 --> 00:05:19,224 Male voice Feel the entrance, Leela. 105 00:05:19,292 --> 00:05:24,229 Destination on your left in 0.3 miles. 106 00:05:27,634 --> 00:05:29,835 Zapp to Leela. 107 00:05:29,903 --> 00:05:32,071 Look at all that surveillance equipment. 108 00:05:32,138 --> 00:05:33,405 We better whisper. 109 00:05:33,473 --> 00:05:36,041 Switching to pillow talk mode. 110 00:05:36,109 --> 00:05:38,777 Look! What are those huge letters? 111 00:05:38,845 --> 00:05:41,714 V-giny? 112 00:05:41,781 --> 00:05:43,282 Doesn't ring a bell. 113 00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:47,386 Hmm, I don't like the looks of this V-giny. 114 00:05:47,454 --> 00:05:50,723 Does anyone recognize those call letters? 115 00:05:50,790 --> 00:05:52,224 Nope. 116 00:05:52,292 --> 00:05:54,326 It's not in the janeway's guide either. 117 00:05:54,394 --> 00:05:56,762 Deciphering that I.D. Code is critical. 118 00:05:56,830 --> 00:05:59,999 I'll be in the chamber of understanding. 119 00:06:07,841 --> 00:06:11,343 This is it... the moment we should have trained for. 120 00:06:26,292 --> 00:06:28,694 Holy cr... 121 00:06:29,829 --> 00:06:32,531 Incoming yucky. Firing pocket-rocket! 122 00:06:37,437 --> 00:06:39,605 Don't panic, Leela. Go, go, go, go, go. 123 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,847 I hope this is the control stick. 124 00:06:53,486 --> 00:06:56,055 Captain's log. 125 00:06:56,122 --> 00:06:58,090 We've lost control. Addendum... 126 00:07:07,192 --> 00:07:10,194 Chapter two: "The heat thickens." 127 00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:12,130 Leela, wake up. 128 00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:14,432 I can't face this mysterious planet alone 129 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,368 without you or someone like you. 130 00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:20,272 Zapp? Zapp, wake up. 131 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,875 Leela, where are we? 132 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,077 We crashed on an uncharted planet. 133 00:07:26,145 --> 00:07:28,780 When I woke up, I was pinned under this tree. 134 00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:29,948 Can you help me? 135 00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,450 If anyone can move it, I can. 136 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,820 No one can move it. 137 00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:37,022 Are you hurt? 138 00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:39,357 No, but I'm so thirsty. 139 00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:42,060 This space suit is making me sweat like a sow. 140 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,962 Me, too. We'd better strip them off 141 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,798 and continue surviving au naturel. 142 00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:50,035 Uh... I suppose so. 143 00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,039 Here, we can cover ourselves 144 00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:56,508 with these sticky, sap-covered leaves. 145 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:59,110 I'll try to avert my eyes from your nudery. 146 00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:00,312 You will? 147 00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:01,546 Eh, what's the point? 148 00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,181 You'll have to look sooner or later. 149 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:06,184 Well, I promise not to abuse the privilege. 150 00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:07,452 For now I'd better scout ound 151 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,254 for food and water and help. 152 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,023 What a thoughtful and considerate thing to say. 153 00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:13,658 What the hell's wrong with you? 154 00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:15,160 I'm not quite sure. 155 00:08:15,227 --> 00:08:18,363 Perhaps it's the fresh air or a severe head injury. 156 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,498 In any case, I'm off. 157 00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:24,002 If you see any steaks, that'd be good! 158 00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:27,372 Why isn't Leela back yet? 159 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,707 Do you think she's okay? 160 00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:29,908 How should I know? 161 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:32,077 And how come you never ask if I'm okay? 162 00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:34,012 I'm feeling a little neglected here. 163 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,281 Oh, sorry. Are you okay, Bender? 164 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,415 Shut up. 165 00:08:37,483 --> 00:08:38,650 What difference does it make? 166 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,051 When that death-sphere gets here, 167 00:08:40,119 --> 00:08:42,287 we'll all be blown to manwich meat. 168 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,389 Well, I guess it's time to indulge 169 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,625 in some end-of-the-world debauchery. 170 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,793 Who's up for an orgy? 171 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,065 Maybe a parcheesi tournament. 172 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,067 Belay that parcheesi tournament. 173 00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:58,770 I've identified the death-sphere. 174 00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:02,173 We may yet have a faint hope of survival. 175 00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:05,010 Still, a parcheesi tournament. 176 00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:08,980 This is a top secret military satellite 177 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,916 launched by the air force in 1998. 178 00:09:11,984 --> 00:09:15,754 And this is a top secret FCC satellite 179 00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:17,555 launched that same year 180 00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:20,025 to censor indecent TV programs. 181 00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:22,527 Like The Pimpsons and Ass-o-rama? 182 00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:23,928 Precisely. 183 00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:26,498 However, the satellites collided shortly after launch 184 00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:28,700 and were never heard from again. 185 00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,068 I found the board! 186 00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:31,836 Now I've simulated that collision 187 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,905 using shrapnel-vision. 188 00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:41,046 V-giny! 189 00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:42,981 Granted, all that makes perfect sense. 190 00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:45,717 But why is this death-sphere destroying planets? 191 00:09:45,785 --> 00:09:47,886 That makes the most sense of all. 192 00:09:47,953 --> 00:09:50,689 Lookt the planets it's destroyed so far. 193 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:54,759 First came X-3 the nude beach planet, 194 00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,928 then Poopiter, 195 00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:59,497 and finally that world that can't be mentioned 196 00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,499 in polite company. 197 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:02,834 You mean... 198 00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:04,402 How dare you. 199 00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:06,571 So the death-sphere 200 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:09,607 is "censoring" indecent planets? 201 00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,076 Indeed, and we're next, 202 00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:13,745 if we can't keep it in our collective pants. 203 00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:16,848 Our sole hope is to persuade the people of earth 204 00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:19,250 to abandon their smutty ways. 205 00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:22,921 So the orgy's off? 206 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,590 So thirsty. 207 00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:29,027 Why couldn't a water fountain have fallen on me? 208 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,062 I couldn't find any water, but the moisture 209 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,832 in these fruit-nut-berries should sustain you. 210 00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:35,867 Thank you. 211 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:38,770 I climbed perilously high into the trees to pick them, 212 00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:41,840 yet I saw no sign of intelligent life. 213 00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:43,041 Bummer. 214 00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:44,242 Moreover, the crash 215 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,211 totally destroyed our ship. 216 00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:48,613 So we're stuck here until someone finds us? 217 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:50,415 Alas, that may never happen. 218 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,351 Stealth technology makes the ship impossible to locate, 219 00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:55,553 yet easy to stub your crotch on. 220 00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:58,423 Well, there's worse places to be marooned. 221 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,692 Plenty of food, mild climate. 222 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,495 I's a veritable garden of eden. 223 00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:05,430 It is? 224 00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:11,903 Hello. 225 00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,271 Did that snake say hello? 226 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,007 No. We're both delirious from dehydration. 227 00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:18,576 Just like Adam and Eve. 228 00:11:23,415 --> 00:11:24,983 We can still save Earth. 229 00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:27,185 People are sure to clean up their act 230 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,387 when presented with cold, hard facts 231 00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:31,723 by rational folks like us. 232 00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:34,459 The end is near! 233 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,494 Repent thy sins! 234 00:11:36,562 --> 00:11:37,829 I'll thinks it overs 235 00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:40,298 while I engages is five-dollar hooker. 236 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,600 Don't do it! It's not worth it! 237 00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:44,302 Okay, make it three dollars. 238 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:47,572 Yuck! I don't wants no three-dollar hooker. 239 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,642 I'm going backs to the adults bookstore. 240 00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:51,876 Adult bookstore? 241 00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:53,645 I thought this was the public library. 242 00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:56,447 No. Pubic library. 243 00:11:56,515 --> 00:11:58,950 Zapp? Where are you? 244 00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:02,153 Oh, God, I'm actually starting to miss him. 245 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:04,489 Maybe you two belong together. 246 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,891 We do not. And you can't talk. 247 00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:07,959 Oh, come on. 248 00:12:08,027 --> 00:12:10,528 It must be an awful temptation. 249 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:13,431 Guess who just killed a woodchuck with his bare feet? 250 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,502 I thought I'd whip us up some shelter. 251 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,304 Make this a little more like home. 252 00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:21,206 I do miss the Earth terribly. 253 00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:23,608 I wonder if it's even still there? 254 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,643 Let's find out together. I'll brave 255 00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:28,980 the ship's wreckage to fetch you the telescope. 256 00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:30,715 That's so sweet. 257 00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:32,984 I'm just sayin', is all. 258 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,465 I know my new plan is a long shot, 259 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:49,567 but it's the only hope left. 260 00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:51,936 Well, now I've heard everything. 261 00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:53,171 On my iPod. 262 00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:54,706 So, do you have a new plan, Professor? 263 00:12:54,773 --> 00:12:56,341 And is there any hope left? 264 00:12:56,408 --> 00:13:00,478 Indeed. We're here on Earth's last unspoiled acre 265 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:01,813 to show the death-sphere 266 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,215 there's still purity in the world. 267 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,017 Begin transmitting. 268 00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:09,921 Commence purity chant. 269 00:13:15,728 --> 00:13:17,662 Hey, I'm proud of you, Bender... 270 00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:19,564 avoiding sin for almost a full minute. 271 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,965 Bender? 272 00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:24,369 Oh yeah, baby, you're quite a dish. 273 00:13:26,538 --> 00:13:27,872 Oh, yeah. 274 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:30,041 Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Ooh! 275 00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:32,577 - Oh, no. - Bender, stop! 276 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:33,811 Stop! 277 00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,280 Eh, quiet your riot. 278 00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:39,150 What's the worst that could happen? 279 00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:50,595 No... no! 280 00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:53,898 Earth is gone! 281 00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:57,268 We're the only two humans left in the universe! 282 00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:01,639 Oh, God, I'm sorry, Leela. 283 00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:04,976 Maybe... maybe this was meant to be. 284 00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:08,346 Maybe you and I were meant to build a new world here. 285 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,581 We can avoid humanity's mistakes. 286 00:14:10,649 --> 00:14:11,749 Like the tuba. 287 00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:12,951 Yes! 288 00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,519 We'll be like Adam and Eve. 289 00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:15,820 Only without the tuba. 290 00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:17,655 And we'll beget little Zapp junior. 291 00:14:17,723 --> 00:14:18,923 And Leela junior. 292 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:20,825 And they'll have kids of their own. 293 00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:23,594 Yuck! Is that really what happened in the Bible? 294 00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:26,564 It's a sick and twisted book of holiness, all right. 295 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:28,232 Then we'll write our own Bible. 296 00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:31,269 With less Sodom and more Gomorrah. 297 00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:32,537 Let's do it. 298 00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:34,939 I shall become the mother of a new world, 299 00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:36,808 trapped here, under this tree. 300 00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,509 The tree of knowledge. 301 00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:40,778 Look, it even has apples! 302 00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:43,381 Ow! Wow! 303 00:14:45,017 --> 00:14:46,384 Come here, Adam. 304 00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:48,886 Partake of my forbidden fruit. 305 00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:50,989 Thee will be done. 306 00:14:58,371 --> 00:15:02,007 Wait. One more bite before we begin the begetting. 307 00:15:03,409 --> 00:15:05,210 Mmm. Juicy. 308 00:15:05,278 --> 00:15:07,379 Those nut-berries you found were so salty, 309 00:15:07,447 --> 00:15:09,581 I couldn't think straight. 310 00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:14,586 I mean, not to belabor it, but they were as salty 311 00:15:14,654 --> 00:15:17,222 as that bag of trail mix Fry gave me. 312 00:15:17,290 --> 00:15:19,257 Exactly as salty. 313 00:15:19,325 --> 00:15:21,660 Hey! Wait a second! 314 00:15:21,728 --> 00:15:23,095 Uh... 315 00:15:23,162 --> 00:15:25,430 Oh... 316 00:15:27,533 --> 00:15:30,936 I have a terrible confession to make. 317 00:15:31,003 --> 00:15:34,172 You see, when I first went foraging, 318 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,640 what I actually found 319 00:15:35,708 --> 00:15:37,776 was the smoldering wreckage of the ship. 320 00:15:37,844 --> 00:15:39,778 Ignoring all danger, I charged 321 00:15:39,846 --> 00:15:42,714 inside to liberate our provisions. 322 00:15:42,782 --> 00:15:45,083 So this is the trail mix Fry gave me! 323 00:15:45,151 --> 00:15:49,521 Yes. I exaggerated when I said I picked it from the treetops. 324 00:15:49,589 --> 00:15:51,289 I just wanted you to think... 325 00:15:51,357 --> 00:15:54,025 A little better of me. 326 00:15:54,093 --> 00:15:56,595 Well... your motives were good. 327 00:15:56,662 --> 00:15:59,698 And we were both loopy from dehydration. 328 00:15:59,766 --> 00:16:01,133 Hey, wait. 329 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,368 You've been doing an awful lot of urinating. 330 00:16:05,405 --> 00:16:06,872 There's plenty of water. 331 00:16:06,939 --> 00:16:08,673 You see, 332 00:16:08,741 --> 00:16:10,842 after I selflessly rescued the trail mix, 333 00:16:10,910 --> 00:16:14,379 i braved the flames once more, in search of fluids. 334 00:16:20,887 --> 00:16:22,387 Then why didn't you give me any? 335 00:16:23,723 --> 00:16:25,357 I thought it might help you forget 336 00:16:25,425 --> 00:16:28,760 your intense hatred for me if you were a teensy bit delirious. 337 00:16:28,828 --> 00:16:30,896 So you let me dehydrate 338 00:16:30,963 --> 00:16:32,664 while you washed down the trail mix 339 00:16:32,732 --> 00:16:34,566 with imported mineral water? 340 00:16:35,668 --> 00:16:37,536 Not exactly. 341 00:16:37,603 --> 00:16:39,438 You see, besides the trail mix, 342 00:16:39,505 --> 00:16:42,107 the minibar also contained doritos, beef jerky, 343 00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:45,210 and a generous assortment of fine chocolates. 344 00:16:46,579 --> 00:16:48,313 I wanted to offer you the chocolates... 345 00:16:48,381 --> 00:16:52,017 I truly did... but I was concerned about your waistline. 346 00:16:52,084 --> 00:16:53,318 Very concerned. 347 00:16:53,386 --> 00:16:55,353 It's because I haven't been exercising. 348 00:16:55,421 --> 00:16:58,824 If only this tree hadn't fallen on me by chance. 349 00:16:58,891 --> 00:17:01,092 Oh, dear God! 350 00:17:04,864 --> 00:17:06,998 It was just after we crashed. 351 00:17:07,066 --> 00:17:09,601 I awoke first, to find you trapped. 352 00:17:09,669 --> 00:17:11,069 Leela! 353 00:17:11,137 --> 00:17:13,205 Leela, wake up. 354 00:17:25,518 --> 00:17:28,019 You could've moved this grub-infested log 355 00:17:28,087 --> 00:17:29,488 any time you wanted? 356 00:17:29,555 --> 00:17:31,189 Well, sure... 357 00:17:31,257 --> 00:17:33,925 But then I wouldn't have been able to provide the loving care 358 00:17:33,993 --> 00:17:35,727 you wouldn't have needed. 359 00:17:38,197 --> 00:17:40,432 I'd leave you to rot in this paradise, 360 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,334 if only the ship weren't destroyed. 361 00:17:42,401 --> 00:17:45,604 The ship's fully functional, isn't it? 362 00:17:48,341 --> 00:17:50,242 You see, after re-trapping you 363 00:17:50,309 --> 00:17:52,310 and before feigning unconsciousness, 364 00:17:52,378 --> 00:17:53,912 i paused to enjoy a cigar. 365 00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:57,215 Though mellow and satisfying, it did parch me a bit, 366 00:17:57,283 --> 00:17:58,984 so I went in search of Brandy. 367 00:17:59,051 --> 00:18:01,119 That's when my keen senses detected 368 00:18:01,187 --> 00:18:03,355 the still-invisible ship. 369 00:18:03,422 --> 00:18:04,823 Ow! 370 00:18:06,225 --> 00:18:08,126 So we can go back to Earth? 371 00:18:08,194 --> 00:18:11,229 But there is no Earth anymore! 372 00:18:11,297 --> 00:18:12,864 Everyone I know is dead! 373 00:18:14,734 --> 00:18:17,402 Ah, this seems like a good place to take a dump. 374 00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:20,505 Leela?! You're alive! 375 00:18:20,573 --> 00:18:22,240 Fry! 376 00:18:22,308 --> 00:18:25,477 But how did you find this planet? 377 00:18:25,545 --> 00:18:27,212 Well? 378 00:18:29,081 --> 00:18:30,949 We're actually on Earth. 379 00:18:31,017 --> 00:18:33,018 The ship's homing device brought us back. 380 00:18:33,085 --> 00:18:34,853 But I saw Earth explode. 381 00:18:34,921 --> 00:18:38,056 I'm actually kind of proud of this one. 382 00:18:38,124 --> 00:18:39,558 You see, what you saw 383 00:18:39,625 --> 00:18:42,027 was merely a simulation I rigged up, 384 00:18:42,094 --> 00:18:44,896 using the ship's holographic targeting projector. 385 00:18:44,964 --> 00:18:48,133 The alleged "telescope" was a toilet paper tube. 386 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,735 You said there wasn't any toilet paper! 387 00:18:50,803 --> 00:18:52,938 And that humanity was annihilated! 388 00:18:53,005 --> 00:18:54,472 My motives were pure. 389 00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:57,075 I just wanted to you to think we had to save humanity 390 00:18:57,143 --> 00:18:58,677 so you'd be willing to have sex. 391 00:18:58,744 --> 00:19:00,412 Please say you believe me. 392 00:19:00,479 --> 00:19:02,747 Yes, I believe you. 393 00:19:02,815 --> 00:19:04,149 Hee-ya! 394 00:19:05,585 --> 00:19:07,419 Yay! 395 00:19:07,486 --> 00:19:10,422 There must be something to steal on this island. 396 00:19:10,489 --> 00:19:11,790 Hey, it's Leela. 397 00:19:13,526 --> 00:19:15,126 Let's go home, everybody. 398 00:19:15,194 --> 00:19:17,228 At least the world wasn't destroyed. 399 00:19:18,431 --> 00:19:20,098 Yet. 400 00:19:23,869 --> 00:19:25,203 People of Earth! 401 00:19:25,271 --> 00:19:28,740 Hear the righteous word of the mighty V-giny! 402 00:19:28,808 --> 00:19:30,475 The mighty V-giny! 403 00:19:31,510 --> 00:19:32,611 Seeing you frolic 404 00:19:32,678 --> 00:19:34,879 in this unspoiled garden 405 00:19:34,947 --> 00:19:37,916 gives hope that this world may yet be redeemed. 406 00:19:37,984 --> 00:19:41,720 Huzzah! The purity chant worked! 407 00:19:41,787 --> 00:19:44,856 Unacceptable wardrobe malfunction! 408 00:19:44,924 --> 00:19:47,325 I was referring to Adam and Eve! 409 00:19:47,393 --> 00:19:48,693 We're not Adam and Eve. 410 00:19:48,761 --> 00:19:50,562 You see, due to a series of... 411 00:19:50,630 --> 00:19:54,299 Consummate your union, or I shall destroy Earth. 412 00:19:56,569 --> 00:19:58,970 Well... if it's to save Earth... 413 00:19:59,038 --> 00:20:01,539 I guess I could take one for the team. 414 00:20:01,607 --> 00:20:03,642 Uh, what? Right now?! 415 00:20:03,709 --> 00:20:05,677 But I need a romance first. 416 00:20:05,745 --> 00:20:07,846 Maybe a vanilla candle or something? 417 00:20:07,913 --> 00:20:09,681 Commence intercourse! 418 00:20:11,350 --> 00:20:13,818 Those giant guns are making me feel sort of inadequate. 419 00:20:13,886 --> 00:20:15,453 I'm not sure if I can... 420 00:20:15,521 --> 00:20:18,089 Move it. I gotta get home and do laundry. 421 00:20:21,727 --> 00:20:24,262 For God's sake, censor it! Censor it! 422 00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:26,698 Approved for all audiences! 423 00:20:26,766 --> 00:20:28,266 No! 424 00:20:35,074 --> 00:20:37,509 And now, the spicy finale of... 425 00:20:41,113 --> 00:20:43,882 That was a close call, but we saved Earth. 426 00:20:43,949 --> 00:20:47,218 Was it as good for you as it was for the human race? 427 00:20:47,286 --> 00:20:48,520 Oh, Zapp. 428 00:20:48,587 --> 00:20:52,023 Let's save another planet right now!