1
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:14,400
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
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And now "The Transcredible exploits
of Zapp Brannigan"
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Brought to you by
Bartley's Rocket Wax.
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I wax my
rocket every day!
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No one can save you
now, Leela.
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What about Zapp Brannigan?
7
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Well, obviously, Zapp Brannigan
could save you, but--
8
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Zapp Brannigan?!
9
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So, Emperor Chopchop,
once again, we meet at last.
10
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Drop that space gun
or I'll shoot-- like so.
11
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(revolver fires)
Ooh.
12
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Oh! Oh, Zapp.
13
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Tie me back up
and ravish me.
14
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I'd like to,
Leela, so I will.
15
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(both giggle)
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(both moan passionately)
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(chuckles)
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Mmm, shake it, baby.
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Shake it like...
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I surrender and
volunteer for treason.
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Emergency summons
from the president, Captain.
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Oh, it's you.
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Just let me freshen up.
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Computer, captain's musk.
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(sighs wearily)
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The long, dramatic corridor.
27
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That's never a good sign.
28
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(electronic buzz, bell dings)
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FEMALE VOICE:
Glove recognized.
30
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Proceed, Mrs. Eisenhower.
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Mr. President.
What the hell?
32
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At ease, Brannigan.
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(sighs)
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What you're about to see
is highly classified.
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00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:57,400
Reptilicus,
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00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,100
hit the thingy.
37
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,800
At oh-zero-hundred hours,
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Planet X-3 was attacked by
a mysterious Death-Sphere.
39
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,900
Magnify that Death-Sphere.
40
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,100
Why is it
still blurry?
41
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:14,300
That's all the
resolution we have.
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00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,500
Making it bigger
doesn't make it clearer.
43
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:17,800
It does on CSI: Miami.
44
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(groans)
45
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NIXON:
They fought back with
advanced military hardware,
46
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:26,900
but it was like shooting
BBs at Bebe Rebozo.
47
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That poor, brave hardware.
48
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The Sphere then fired some
kind of hellish blackout ray.
49
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:37,800
Erased that planet like 18
minutes of incriminating tape.
50
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:43,100
Oh, I just wish
I understood why.
51
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,600
Why I should care.
52
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Because the Death-Sphere
is now on course for Earth.
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NIXON:
Aroo!
54
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:54,200
My God, we're defenseless,
like fish in a barrel.
55
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Options?
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My instinct is
to hide in this barrel
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like the wily fish.
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00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,700
Ah, then we're down
to our last hope:
59
00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:04,300
a radical new weapon built
by a visionary scientist
60
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,900
I once dismissed as crazy.
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00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:09,600
(Professor laughing)
62
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Let's see how crazy
I am now, Nixon.
63
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,300
The correct answer is "very."
64
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,000
All right, Professor,
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sock it to me.
66
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,200
Top secret news, everyone.
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00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,100
I've developed a tiny,
one-man stealth fighter
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00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,600
that's virtually undetectable.
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00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,000
How undetectable?
70
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,500
It's right in front of you.
71
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,600
I find that--
(clank)
72
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Ow! ...to belie.
73
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(all oohing and aahing)
Hubba, hubba.
74
00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:36,700
But how exactly is this
Happy Meal toy going
75
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,900
to destroy a giant
Death-Sphere?
76
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,200
From within.
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00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:42,300
This ship should be able
to sneak, undetected,
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00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:45,400
through the Sphere's
one vulnerable opening.
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00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:46,800
What vulnerable opening?
80
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:49,600
All Death-Spheres have
one vulnerable opening.
81
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:52,300
Well, sure, but who's brave
enough to fly into something
82
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,600
we all keep calling
a Death-Sphere?
83
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:56,600
I say Brannigan.
I say no.
84
00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:58,800
I say me.
I say Leela.
85
00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:01,000
I say yes.
I say no.
86
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,400
I say Leela, too.
87
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,700
I say yes again.
88
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,200
I say I shall join her.
89
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,100
But it's only a one-man craft.
90
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:08,300
I say.
91
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,200
There'll only be
one man-- me.
92
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:13,200
How would you feel
if I rode rear
93
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,600
as your personal
tail gunner?
94
00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:16,900
Creeped out.
95
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:18,300
Then it's decided.
96
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:21,000
CAPE KNIEVEL
FLIGHT TEST CENTER
97
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,100
Are you sure I have
to sit in your lap?
98
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:28,800
It'll help us achieve
maximum thrust.
99
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,300
(Leela and Kif groan)
100
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,400
I made you some trail mix
for the flight.
101
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,000
Also, this picture,
to remember me.
102
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,700
You hold onto it.
103
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,700
I'll be back soon.
104
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,600
(scoffs)
105
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:41,800
Aah!
(grunts)
106
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Activating stealth shielding.
107
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,300
(beep)
108
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,900
Liftoff!
109
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:50,000
I'll roger that.
110
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:52,500
(rocket engines
rumbling, whooshing)
111
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,100
Does anybody else feel aroused
and jealous and worried?
112
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,100
I haven't felt
much of anything
113
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,800
since my guinea pig died.
114
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(beeping)
115
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Death-Sphere in range.
116
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Engaging holographic targeting.
117
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Activating the Force.
118
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MALE VOICE (a la Obi-Wan):
Feel the entrance, Leela.
119
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Destination on your left
in 0.3 miles.
120
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Zapp to Leela.
121
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,500
Look at all that
surveillance equipment.
122
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(whispering):
We better whisper.
123
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(whispering):
Switching to pillow talk mode.
124
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,200
Look! What are
those huge letters?
125
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,200
BRANNIGAN:
V-GINY?
126
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:45,700
Doesn't ring a bell.
127
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,800
Hmm, I don't like
the looks of this V-GINY.
128
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,300
Does anyone recognize
those call letters?
129
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:54,800
Nope.
130
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,900
It's not in the
Janeway's Guide either.
131
00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:59,300
Deciphering that I.D. code
is critical.
132
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I'll be in the Chamber
of Understanding.
133
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:06,800
(muffled disco
bass line throbbing)
134
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,900
This is it-- the moment we
should have trained for.
135
00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:31,300
Holy cr... (beep)
136
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:35,200
Incoming yucky.
Firing pocket-rocket!
137
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,100
(muffled explosion)
138
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,400
Don't panic, Leela.
Go, go, go, go, go.
139
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,600
I hope this is
the control stick.
140
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,800
BRANNIGAN:
Captain's log.
141
00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:00,800
We've lost control.
Addendum...
142
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:03,200
(Brannigan screaming)
143
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,000
Chapter Two:
"The Heat Thickens."
144
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,300
(groaning)
145
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,500
Leela, wake up.
146
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,800
I can't face
this mysterious planet alone
147
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:19,700
without you
or someone like you.
148
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,400
(breathing rapidly)
149
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,600
Zapp?
Zapp, wake up.
150
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,200
(kisses, snorts)
151
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,200
Leela, where are we?
152
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:29,400
We crashed
on an uncharted planet.
153
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,200
When I woke up,
I was pinned under this tree.
154
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:33,400
Can you help me?
155
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,900
If anyone can
move it, I can.
156
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000
(grunting)
157
00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:39,300
No one can move it.
158
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:40,500
Are you hurt?
159
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:42,800
No, but I'm so thirsty.
160
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:45,500
This space suit is making me
sweat like a sow.
161
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,400
Me, too.
We'd better strip them off
162
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,200
and continue surviving
au naturel.
163
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:53,500
Uh... I suppose so.
164
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,600
Here, we can
cover ourselves
165
00:07:57,700 --> 00:08:00,100
with these sticky,
sap-covered leaves.
166
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,700
I'll try to avert my eyes
from your nudery.
167
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:03,900
You will?
168
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,100
Eh, what's the point?
169
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,700
You'll have to look
sooner or later.
170
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,700
Well, I promise
not to abuse the privilege.
171
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,000
For now I'd better
scout ound
172
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:12,800
for food and
water and help.
173
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:15,600
What a thoughtful
and considerate thing to say.
174
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,200
What the hell's wrong with you?
175
00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:18,700
I'm not quite sure.
176
00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:22,000
Perhaps it's the fresh air
or a severe head injury.
177
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:24,100
In any case, I'm off.
178
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,700
If you see any steaks,
that'd be good!
179
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:29,700
(sniffs)
180
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,000
Why isn't Leela
back yet?
181
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:32,400
Do you think
she's okay?
182
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,600
How should I know?
183
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,700
And how come you ner ask
if I'm okay?
184
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,700
I'm feeling
a little neglected here.
185
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:39,900
Oh, sorry.
Are you okay, Bender?
186
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,100
Shut up.
187
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,300
What difference
does it make?
188
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:43,700
When that Death-
Sphere gets here,
189
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,900
we'll all be blown
to Manwich meat.
190
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:48,100
Well, I guess
it's time to indulge
191
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,400
in some end-of-the-world
debauchery.
192
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,500
Who's up for an orgy?
193
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,900
(enthusiastic response fades
to ambivalent muttering)
194
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,800
Maybe a Parcheesi
tournament.
195
00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:59,800
PROFESSOR:
Belay that Parcheesi tournament.
196
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:02,500
I've identified
the Death-Sphere.
197
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,900
We may yet have
a faint hope of survival.
198
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,800
Still, a Parcheesi tournament.
199
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,700
This is a top secret
military satellite
200
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:15,800
launched by the
air force in 1998.
201
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,600
And this is a top
secret FCC satellite
202
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:21,400
launched that
same year
203
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:23,900
to censor indecent
TV programs.
204
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:26,400
Like The Pimpsons
and Ass-o-rama?
205
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,800
Precisely.
206
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,300
However, the satellites collided
shortly after launch
207
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,600
and were never heard from again.
208
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,900
I found the board!
209
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,700
Now I've simulated
that collision
210
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,900
using Shrapnel-vision.
211
00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:40,300
(all shouting)
212
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,000
BENDER:
V-GINY!
213
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,900
Granted, all that makes
perfect sense.
214
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,700
But why is this Death-Sphere
destroying planets?
215
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:51,800
That makes
the most sense of all.
216
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:54,600
Lookt the planets
it's destroyed so far.
217
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:58,700
First came X-3 the
nude beach planet,
218
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,900
then Poopiter,
219
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,500
and finally that world
that can't be mentioned
220
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,500
in polite company.
221
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:06,900
You mean...
(whispers)
222
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,500
(all groaning)
How dare you.
223
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:10,600
So the Death-Sphere
224
00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:13,700
is "censoring"
indecent planets?
225
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,100
Indeed, and we're next,
226
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,800
if we can't keep it in
our collective pants.
227
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:20,900
Our sole hope is to persuade
the people of Earth
228
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,300
to abandon their
smutty ways.
229
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,500
(whip cracks)
230
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,000
So the orgy's off?
231
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:28,300
(groans)
232
00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:29,700
So thirsty.
233
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:33,200
Why couldn't a water fountain
have fallen on me?
234
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,200
I couldn't find any
water, but the moisture
235
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:38,000
in these fruit-nut-berries
should sustain you.
236
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000
Thank you.
237
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,900
I climbed perilously high
into the trees to pick them,
238
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,000
yet I saw no sign
of intelligent life.
239
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:47,200
Bummer.
240
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:48,400
Moreover, the crash
241
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:50,400
totally destroyed our ship.
242
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,900
So we're stuck here
until someone finds us?
243
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:54,700
Alas, that may
never happen.
244
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:57,600
Stealth technology makes the
ship impossible to locate,
245
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,800
yet easy to stub
your crotch on.
246
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:02,700
Well, there's worse places
to be marooned.
247
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,900
Plenty of food, mild climate.
248
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,700
I's a veritable Garden of Eden.
249
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,700
It is?
250
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:12,200
(beautiful choral music plays)
251
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,200
Hello.
252
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,600
Did that snake say hello?
253
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:20,400
No. We're both delirious
from dehydration.
254
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,900
Just like
Adam and Eve.
255
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,300
PROFESSOR:
We can still save Earth.
256
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,500
People are sure
to clean up their act
257
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,700
when presented
with cold, hard facts
258
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,100
by rational folks like us.
259
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,800
The end is near!
260
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,800
Repent thy sins!
261
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,300
I'll thinks it overs
262
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:44,700
while I engages
is five-dollar hooker.
263
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,100
Don't do it!
It's not worth it!
264
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:48,800
Okay, make it three dollars.
265
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:52,000
Yuck! I don't wants
no three-dollar hooker.
266
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:55,100
I'm going backs
to the adults bookstore.
267
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,300
Adult bookstore?
268
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,100
I thought
this was the public library.
269
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,900
No. Pubic library.
270
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,400
Zapp? Where are you?
271
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:06,600
Oh, God, I'm actually
starting to miss him.
272
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,000
Maybe you two
belong together.
273
00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:11,400
We do not.
And you can't talk.
274
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:12,500
Oh, come on.
275
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,100
It must be
an awful temptation.
276
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:18,000
Guess who just killed a
woodchuck with his bare feet?
277
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,500
(grunts)
278
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,100
I thought I'd whip
us up some shelter.
279
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,900
Make this a little
more like home.
280
00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:25,800
I do miss
the Earth terribly.
281
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,200
I wonder if it's
even still there?
282
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,200
Let's find out together.
I'll brave
283
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:33,500
the ship's wreckage to
fetch you the telescope.
284
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:35,400
That's so sweet.
285
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,600
I'm just sayin',
is all.
286
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:52,100
I know my new plan
is a long shot,
287
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,200
but it's the
only hope left.
288
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,600
Well, now
I've heard everything.
289
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:57,900
On my iPod.
290
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,500
So, do you have a new plan,
Professor?
291
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,100
And is there any hope left?
292
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:05,200
Indeed. We're here on
Earth's last unspoiled acre
293
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,600
to show the Death-Sphere
294
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,000
there's still purity
in the world.
295
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,800
Begin transmitting.
296
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,700
Commence purity chant.
297
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:17,900
(all chanting)
298
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,400
Hey, I'm proud of you, Bender--
299
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,400
avoiding sin
for almost a full minute.
300
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:25,800
Bender?
301
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:29,200
BENDER:
Oh yeah, baby,
you're quite a dish.
302
00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:31,300
(Bender and female voice
giggling)
303
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,700
(giggling):
Oh, yeah.
304
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,900
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah.
Ooh!
305
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,400
Oh, no.
PROFESSOR:
Bender, stop!
306
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:38,700
Stop!
307
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:40,100
Eh, quiet your riot.
308
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:44,000
What's the worst
that could happen?
309
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,500
LEELA:
No... No!
310
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,300
(sobbing)
311
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,800
Earth is gone!
312
00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:02,200
We're the only two humans
left in the universe!
313
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,600
(sobbing)
314
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:06,600
Oh, God, I'm
sorry, Leela.
315
00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:09,900
Maybe... Maybe
this was meant to be.
316
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,300
Maybe you and I were meant
to build a new world here.
317
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,600
Í We can avoid
humanity's mistakes.
318
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:16,800
Like the tuba.
319
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:18,000
Yes!
320
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,600
We'll be like
Adam and Eve.
321
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:20,900
Only without the tuba.
322
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:22,700
And we'll beget
little Zapp Junior.
323
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,000
And Leela Junior.
324
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,900
And they'll have kids
of their own.
325
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:28,600
Yuck! Is that really
what happened in the Bible?
326
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:31,600
It's a sick and twisted book
of holiness, all right.
327
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:33,300
Then we'll write our own bible.
328
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,300
With less Sodom
and more go-more.
329
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,600
Let's do it.
330
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,100
I shall become the
mother of a new world,
331
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,000
trapped here,
under this tree.
332
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,700
The Tree of Knowledge.
333
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:45,900
Look, it even has apples!
334
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,500
Ow! Wow!
335
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,500
Come here, Adam.
336
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,000
Partake of my
forbidden fruit.
337
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:56,100
Thee will be done.
338
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,900
(passionate moaning)
339
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:07,100
Wait. One more bite
before we begin the begetting.
340
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,300
Mmm. Juicy.
341
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,400
Those nut-berries
you found were so salty,
342
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,600
I couldn't think straight.
343
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:16,200
(passionate moaning)
344
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:19,600
I mean, not to belabor it,
but they were as salty
345
00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:22,300
as that bag of trail mix
Frgave me.
346
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:24,300
Exactly as salty.
347
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,700
Hey! Wait a second!
348
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,100
Uh...
349
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:30,600
Oh...
350
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,600
(tortured groaning)
351
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:36,100
I have a terrible
confession to make.
352
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:39,300
You see,
when I first went foraging,
353
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,800
what I actually found
354
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,900
was the smoldering wreckage
of the ship.
355
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,900
Ignoring all danger, I charged
356
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,900
inside
to liberate our provisions.
357
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:50,200
So this is the trail mix
Fry gave me!
358
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:54,700
Yes. I exaggerated when I said
I picked it from the treetops.
359
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,500
I just wanted
you to think...
360
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,300
(sniffling)
a little better of me.
361
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:01,800
Well... your motives were good.
362
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:04,900
And we were both loopy
from dehydration.
363
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,400
Hey, wait.
364
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,600
You've been doing
an awful lot of urinating.
365
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:10,600
(tortured groaning)
366
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,100
There's plenty of water.
367
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,900
You see,
368
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,100
after I selflessly rescued
the trail mix,
369
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,600
I braved the flames once more,
in search of fluids.
370
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,200
(grunting)
371
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,700
Then why didn't you give me any?
372
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,000
(sniffles)
373
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,700
I thought it might
help you forget
374
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:34,100
your intense hatred for me if
you were a teensy bit delirious.
375
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,200
So you let me dehydrate
376
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:38,000
while you washed down
the trail mix
377
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,900
with imported mineral water?
378
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,000
(tortured groaning)
379
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,900
Not exactly.
380
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:44,900
You see, besides the trail mix,
381
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,600
the minibar also contained
Doritos, beef jerky,
382
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,700
and a generous assortment
of fine chocolates.
383
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,800
I wanted to offer you
the chocolates--
384
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,500
I truly did-- but I
was concerned about
your waistline.
385
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:58,800
Very concerned.
386
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,800
It's because
I haven't been exercising.
387
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:04,300
If only this tree hadn't
fallen on me by chance.
388
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:06,500
Oh, dear God!
389
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,200
(tortured groaning,
sobbing)
390
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,500
It was just after we crashed.
391
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:15,200
I awoke first,
to find you trapped.
392
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,600
Leela!
393
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,800
Leela, wake up.
394
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,600
You could've moved this
grub-infested log
395
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,100
any time you wanted?
396
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,800
Well, sure...
397
00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:39,600
but then I wouldn't have been
able to provide the loving care
398
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,400
you wouldn't have needed.
399
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,100
I'd leave you to rot
in this paradise,
400
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,000
if only the ship
weren't destroyed.
401
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:51,300
The ship's fully
functional, isn't it?
402
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,900
(tortured groaning)
403
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,900
You see, after re-trapping you
404
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000
and before feigning
unconsciousness,
405
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,600
I paused to enjoy a cigar.
406
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:03,000
Though mellow and satisfying,
it did parch me a bit,
407
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,700
so I went in search of brandy.
408
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,900
That's when my keen senses
detected
409
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:09,100
the still-invisible ship.
410
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:10,600
Ow!
411
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,900
So we can go back to Earth?
412
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:17,000
But there is no
Earth anymore!
413
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,600
Everyone I know is dead!
414
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:20,400
(sobbing)
415
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,200
Ah, this seems like a good
place to take a dump.
416
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,300
Leela?! You're alive!
417
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,100
Fry!
418
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,300
But how did you
find this planet?
419
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,100
Well?
420
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,900
(tortured groaning)
421
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:36,800
We're actually on Earth.
422
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,900
The ship's homing device
brought us back.
423
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:40,700
But I saw Earth explode.
424
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,900
I'm actually kind of proud
of this one.
425
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,400
You see, what you saw
426
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,900
was merely a simulation
I rigged up,
427
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:50,700
using the ship's holographic
targeting projector.
428
00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:54,100
The alleged "telescope"
was a toilet paper tube.
429
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,700
You said there wasn't
any toilet paper!
430
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,900
And that humanity was
annihilated!
431
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,400
My motives were pure.
432
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:03,000
I just wanted to you to think
we had to save humanity
433
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,600
so you'd be willing
to have sex.
434
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,400
Please say you believe me.
435
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,700
Yes, I believe you.
436
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,100
Hee-ya!
437
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,400
Yay!
438
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,400
There must be something to
steal on this island.
439
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:17,800
Hey, it's Leela.
440
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:19,500
(cheering)
441
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,200
Let's go home, everybody.
442
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,300
At least the world
wasn't destroyed.
443
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:26,100
Yet.
444
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:31,300
V-GINY:
People of Earth!
445
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:34,800
Hear the righteous word
of the mighty V-GINY!
446
00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:36,500
(all gasping)
BENDER: The mighty V-GINY!
447
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:37,500
(giggling)
448
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:38,700
V-GINY:
Seeing you frolic
449
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:40,900
in this unspoiled garden
450
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:44,100
gives hope that this world
may yet be redeemed.
451
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:47,900
Huzzah!
The purity chant worked!
452
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:51,000
Unacceptable wardrobe
malfunction!
453
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:53,500
I was referring
to Adam and Eve!
454
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:54,800
We're not Adam and Eve.
455
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:56,700
You see, due to a series of--
456
00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:00,400
Consummate your union,
or I shall destroy Earth.
457
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,700
(guns cocking)
458
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:05,100
Well... if it's to
save Earth...
459
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,800
I guess I could
take one for the team.
460
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:09,900
Uh, what? Right now?!
461
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,900
But I need a romance first.
462
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,100
Maybe a vanilla candle
or something?
463
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,900
Commence intercourse!
464
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,500
(clearing throat)
465
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,100
Those giant guns are
making me feel sort
of inadequate.
466
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:21,700
I'm not sure if I can...
467
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,300
Move it. I gotta get
home and do laundry.
468
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,900
(all groaning)
469
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,500
For God's sake, censor it!
Censor it!
470
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:33,000
V-GINY:
Approved for all audiences!
471
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,600
No!
472
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,400
(sobbing)
473
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,900
ANNOUNCER: And now,
the spicy finale of...
474
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:50,200
That was a close call,
but we saved Earth.
475
00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:53,600
Was it as good for you as
it was for the human race?
476
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:54,900
Oh, Zapp.
477
00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:58,400
Let's save another
planet right now!
478
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,100
(snoring)
479
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,400
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com