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00:00:04,452 --> 00:00:10,738
Sync by n17t01, corrected by gloriabg
www.Addic7ed.Com
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00:00:17,773 --> 00:00:18,568
(applause)
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00:00:18,635 --> 00:00:22,905
As Mayor, it is my deeply
tedious pleasure to kick off
4
00:00:22,973 --> 00:00:28,978
the 83rd or 84th annual
e-waste recycling festival!
5
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(Cheering)
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00:00:30,681 --> 00:00:32,281
Down in front!
7
00:00:32,349 --> 00:00:35,918
Sorry. I get
aroused in crowds.
8
00:00:35,986 --> 00:00:39,489
I will now throw out
the ceremonial first dump...
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00:00:39,556 --> 00:00:42,892
this old, inefficient
vote rigger!
10
00:00:44,194 --> 00:00:45,995
(Cheering)
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00:00:46,063 --> 00:00:50,033
These old doomsday devices
are dangerously unstable.
12
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:52,702
I'll rest easier not
knowing where they are.
13
00:00:52,770 --> 00:00:54,103
(Grunts)
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00:00:54,171 --> 00:00:55,538
(Devices thudding,
glass breaking)
15
00:00:55,606 --> 00:00:58,241
So long, overly complicated
Japanese toilet.
16
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,076
Toilet:
Please not to throw away.
17
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,844
I give you happy poopie time.
18
00:01:01,912 --> 00:01:03,846
Sorry, you know
too much.
19
00:01:03,914 --> 00:01:05,148
(Toilet crashing,
glass shattering)
20
00:01:07,418 --> 00:01:09,152
(Chuckles)
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00:01:09,219 --> 00:01:12,088
Seems like a good place
to ditch some evidence.
22
00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:13,489
Flexo?!
23
00:01:13,557 --> 00:01:15,958
What are you doing
in a hazardous waste bin?
24
00:01:16,026 --> 00:01:17,226
Haven't you heard?
25
00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:19,429
Us bending units
are dangerously outdated.
26
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:23,499
We overheat, we're radioactive,
we cause erectile dysfunc...
27
00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,134
Who are you talking to?
28
00:01:25,202 --> 00:01:26,702
No one. Your mama.
29
00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:28,137
Shut up.
30
00:01:28,205 --> 00:01:29,539
Take your pick.
31
00:01:29,606 --> 00:01:31,174
(Kissing)
(Camera shutters clicking)
32
00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:33,309
Scoop Chang,
New New York Times
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00:01:33,377 --> 00:01:35,411
online podcast
blog comments editor.
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Mr. Mayor,
isn't this e-waste dangerous?
35
00:01:37,781 --> 00:01:39,248
Not at all, scoop.
36
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:41,484
Not after it's hauled off
to the third world
37
00:01:41,552 --> 00:01:43,953
by an expendable team
of minimum-wage nobodies.
38
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(Whispering):
Good news, nobodies!
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00:01:55,999 --> 00:01:58,234
(Clanking)
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00:02:07,644 --> 00:02:09,178
Greetings, my friends!
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00:02:09,246 --> 00:02:10,680
It shan't take long
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00:02:10,747 --> 00:02:13,249
to strip down your clunker.
(Clanging)
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00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:14,984
There's nothing wrong
with our clunker.
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00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:18,588
Really? Because we can smelt out
the deadly, deadly chromium
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00:02:18,655 --> 00:02:21,557
to make rat poison
and artificial sweeteners.
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00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:23,626
No, thanks.
We're delivering e-waste.
47
00:02:23,694 --> 00:02:25,595
Pity. We're halfway done.
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00:02:25,662 --> 00:02:27,697
(Blowtorch hissing)
49
00:02:27,764 --> 00:02:31,067
This thing is
40% chromium!
50
00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:32,435
(Bird squawking)
51
00:02:32,503 --> 00:02:33,936
(Crunch, hissing)
52
00:02:34,004 --> 00:02:35,471
Gentle now.
53
00:02:35,539 --> 00:02:37,507
Gentle with
the hoverdumpster.
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00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,443
Ready for processing!
55
00:02:44,214 --> 00:02:45,548
(Sniffing)
56
00:02:45,616 --> 00:02:47,683
What smells like bloody sinuses?
57
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,653
We burn your e-waste down
to the usable metals,
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00:02:50,721 --> 00:02:53,756
safely releasing the
toxins into our air
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00:02:53,824 --> 00:02:55,458
and drinking water.
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00:02:55,526 --> 00:02:57,026
(Panting)
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00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:59,395
Ugh! That's the worst thing
I've ever seen!
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00:02:59,463 --> 00:03:01,397
Really? Then don't
look over there.
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00:03:01,465 --> 00:03:02,798
(Laughter)
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00:03:02,866 --> 00:03:04,200
Okay, kids.
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00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,435
Let's play find
the shiny!
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00:03:06,503 --> 00:03:08,804
(Laughter)
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00:03:08,872 --> 00:03:12,074
(Coughing)
68
00:03:12,142 --> 00:03:13,776
That's even
more horrific!
69
00:03:13,844 --> 00:03:15,878
Is all the work done
by children?
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00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,713
No, not the whipping.
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00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,715
(Whip cracking)
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00:03:22,252 --> 00:03:25,688
Granted, we later learned some
positive things about recycling,
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00:03:25,756 --> 00:03:28,457
but a better solution is
to use our electronics
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00:03:28,525 --> 00:03:31,093
as long as possible
instead of throwing them out
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00:03:31,161 --> 00:03:32,562
in the first place.
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00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,764
I'm gonna start
by keeping my old cell phone,
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00:03:34,831 --> 00:03:36,132
even if it is outdated.
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00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,900
Old-time phone operator:
Hello, Miss Turanga.
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00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,136
Your call to Saint Louis
has gone through.
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00:03:40,204 --> 00:03:42,872
Well, let's at least
throw this tv out.
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00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,474
The batteries
in the remote are getting low.
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00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:48,044
No! Put that back
and turn it on!
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00:03:48,111 --> 00:03:50,913
I was just trying to help.
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00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:55,218
More on this breaking puff-piece
after a word from our sponsor.
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00:03:55,285 --> 00:03:57,787
(Quiet piano music plays)
Male announcer:
With the new eyephone,
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00:03:57,854 --> 00:04:00,256
you can watch, listen,
ignore your friends,
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00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,858
stalk your ex, download porno
on a crowded bus,
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00:04:02,926 --> 00:04:06,128
even check your e-mail
while getting hit by a train.
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00:04:06,196 --> 00:04:07,830
All with the new eyephone.
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00:04:07,898 --> 00:04:09,465
Woman:
From Mom.
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00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:12,335
A new eyephone?!
Forget this junk.
92
00:04:12,402 --> 00:04:14,337
Woman (Over phone):
Well, this is a fine
how-do-you-do!
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00:04:14,404 --> 00:04:15,705
- So long!
- Sayonara!
94
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:17,139
- Bye-bye!
- Good riddance!
95
00:04:17,207 --> 00:04:18,641
- Yup!
- Toodle-oo!
96
00:04:18,709 --> 00:04:20,810
Come on, let's buy
some eyephones online.
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00:04:22,246 --> 00:04:24,013
(Grunts)
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00:04:24,081 --> 00:04:26,649
Wait. I thought we were buying
our eyephones online.
99
00:04:26,717 --> 00:04:28,017
We are on line.
100
00:04:28,085 --> 00:04:30,720
But I thought the Mom store
was across town.
101
00:04:30,787 --> 00:04:33,055
It is across town.
102
00:04:33,123 --> 00:04:35,124
- But I thought...
- Stop thinking, fry!
103
00:04:37,594 --> 00:04:41,297
(Line moves slowly in lockstep)
104
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,332
I feel like
a mindless zombie.
105
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,334
I wish I knew
how long we've been waiting.
106
00:04:45,402 --> 00:04:47,236
The eyephone has an app
for that!
107
00:04:47,304 --> 00:04:50,006
Is there an app
for kissing my shiny metal ass?
108
00:04:50,073 --> 00:04:50,873
Several!
109
00:04:50,941 --> 00:04:52,275
Ooh!
110
00:04:52,342 --> 00:04:55,978
(Line continues moving slowly
in lockstep)
111
00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,346
Oh, no, the light!
112
00:04:57,347 --> 00:04:57,380
I guess I'm off to hell.
113
00:04:57,414 --> 00:04:59,448
Oh, no, the light!
114
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:00,850
That's the
store, Professor.
115
00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:02,318
Whuh?
116
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:06,055
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh,
ooh-ooh, ooh ♪
117
00:05:06,123 --> 00:05:07,456
♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
118
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:10,026
♪ ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh ♪
119
00:05:10,093 --> 00:05:11,360
♪ ooh, ooh... ♪
120
00:05:11,428 --> 00:05:12,995
Amy:
Swow! It's that obscure
121
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,463
underground song
122
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,098
that's constantly
playing everywhere.
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00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:18,701
Hello, dearies.
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00:05:18,769 --> 00:05:20,403
Welcome to the Mom store.
125
00:05:20,470 --> 00:05:22,338
The new eyephones
are in short supply,
126
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,206
so please form an orderly...
127
00:05:24,274 --> 00:05:25,741
- Out of the way!
- I need...
128
00:05:25,809 --> 00:05:27,376
(Crowd clamoring)
129
00:05:27,444 --> 00:05:29,478
(Panting):
Are there any left?!
130
00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:30,980
There may be one.
131
00:05:35,185 --> 00:05:37,553
Okay, it's $500, you have
no choice of carrier,
132
00:05:37,621 --> 00:05:39,121
the battery can't
hold a charge,
133
00:05:39,189 --> 00:05:40,489
and the reception
isn't very...
134
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:41,991
Shut up and take my money!
135
00:05:42,059 --> 00:05:44,226
The new eyephone is wonderful.
136
00:05:44,294 --> 00:05:47,797
I use it to check recipes
and send threatening e-mails
137
00:05:47,864 --> 00:05:50,499
to unauthorized
third-party app developers...
138
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:53,302
Say, you're from one
of those ethnicities
139
00:05:53,370 --> 00:05:55,137
that knows
about technology.
140
00:05:55,205 --> 00:05:56,772
Why is it called
an eyephone?
141
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,508
I'll explain after
I install it.
142
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:03,913
(Screaming)
143
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:05,348
Neat.
144
00:06:05,415 --> 00:06:07,516
(Computer trilling, beep)
145
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,018
Now for the ear piece.
146
00:06:09,086 --> 00:06:11,487
But my favorite app
is called twitcher.
147
00:06:11,555 --> 00:06:12,988
(Hammer blow)
Fry: Ow!
148
00:06:13,056 --> 00:06:14,957
Twitcher lets you send
and receive short messages
149
00:06:15,025 --> 00:06:16,959
or videos called twits.
150
00:06:17,027 --> 00:06:18,361
Why, here's a twit now.
151
00:06:18,428 --> 00:06:21,397
Hi, mom. I love you
more than can...
152
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:23,265
Male voice:
Low battery.
153
00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:25,034
But don't takey word for it.
154
00:06:25,102 --> 00:06:28,571
Unbiased-reviews-dot-mom says
twitcher is the killer app.
155
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:31,841
And when I say killer app,
156
00:06:31,908 --> 00:06:34,377
I mean killer app!
157
00:06:34,444 --> 00:06:36,312
(Evil cackling)
158
00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:37,847
(Evil laughter)
159
00:06:37,914 --> 00:06:39,749
(Groaning)
Ow!
160
00:06:42,578 --> 00:06:45,113
Webisode announcer:
And now another downloadisode
161
00:06:45,181 --> 00:06:48,650
of the real housewives
of SIM city.
162
00:06:48,718 --> 00:06:51,920
(Repeated thudding against wall)
163
00:06:51,988 --> 00:06:53,555
She needs to reset.
164
00:06:53,623 --> 00:06:55,290
I'll say it
to her face.
165
00:06:55,358 --> 00:06:57,859
No wonder traditional
media is dead.
166
00:06:57,927 --> 00:07:00,061
Check out this webisode
of hypnotoad.
167
00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:02,197
(Mechanical humming)
168
00:07:02,264 --> 00:07:04,766
Enjoy your outdated
format, grandpa.
169
00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:09,270
Nowadays, cool kids like me
mash up our own phone-isodes.
170
00:07:09,338 --> 00:07:10,839
It's from the
kidnappers.
171
00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:12,507
My nephew is alive!
172
00:07:12,575 --> 00:07:14,676
And he's... in this envelope.
173
00:07:14,744 --> 00:07:17,879
They cut off one
of my dimensions!
174
00:07:17,947 --> 00:07:20,315
No! No!
(Sobbing)
175
00:07:20,383 --> 00:07:22,150
Oh, my God, it's Bender!
176
00:07:22,184 --> 00:07:23,652
He'll save us!
177
00:07:23,719 --> 00:07:25,620
(Phone ringing)
178
00:07:25,688 --> 00:07:27,489
What's happening to me?
179
00:07:27,556 --> 00:07:29,257
Is it puberty?
180
00:07:29,325 --> 00:07:31,026
It's a phone call, dingus.
181
00:07:31,093 --> 00:07:33,461
These eyephones are phones, too?
182
00:07:33,529 --> 00:07:34,396
Duh.
183
00:07:34,463 --> 00:07:36,765
- Fry-lo.
- Leela: Hi, Fry.
184
00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:39,501
Did you know
these eyephones are phones, too?
185
00:07:39,568 --> 00:07:42,237
Duh. Hey, is it safe
to talk while you're flying?
186
00:07:42,304 --> 00:07:44,973
Oh, totally.
This thing's hands-free.
187
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:47,942
That's how I can eat this taco.
And this spaghetti.
188
00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:50,478
Ow!
189
00:07:50,546 --> 00:07:52,580
I'm hanging up now.
190
00:07:52,648 --> 00:07:54,015
Hey, check out
this Internet video
191
00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:56,184
of some idiot
crashing her spaceship!
192
00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,788
Ow!
193
00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:00,989
You recorded that?
194
00:08:01,057 --> 00:08:02,691
The eyephone records everything.
195
00:08:02,758 --> 00:08:04,659
All I did was add a laugh track
196
00:08:04,727 --> 00:08:06,561
and twit it
to my 10,000 followers.
197
00:08:07,797 --> 00:08:08,697
Ow!
198
00:08:08,764 --> 00:08:10,932
(Laugh track plays)
199
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,400
Oh, that reminds me.
200
00:08:12,468 --> 00:08:14,536
It's time to my hourly twupdate.
(Beeping)
201
00:08:14,603 --> 00:08:16,104
'Sup, followers.
202
00:08:16,172 --> 00:08:17,706
Fry here. (Belches)
203
00:08:17,773 --> 00:08:20,241
Burping eggs,
scratching my underarm fungus,
204
00:08:20,309 --> 00:08:22,210
looking for love.
205
00:08:22,278 --> 00:08:23,945
Send.
206
00:08:24,013 --> 00:08:25,346
Underarm fungus?
207
00:08:25,414 --> 00:08:26,848
Ugh! Too much information.
208
00:08:26,916 --> 00:08:28,416
Ow!
209
00:08:28,484 --> 00:08:30,118
It's exactly the right
amount of information!
210
00:08:30,186 --> 00:08:31,586
For years,
I've collected personal data
211
00:08:31,654 --> 00:08:35,523
with old-fashioned methods,
like spybots and info-squitos.
212
00:08:35,591 --> 00:08:37,192
This guy sure
loves porno.
213
00:08:37,259 --> 00:08:38,727
But now,
214
00:08:38,794 --> 00:08:42,330
thanks to twitcher,
morons voluntarily spew out
215
00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:44,499
every fact I need
to exploit them!
216
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,735
(Crosshairs beeping)
Target acquired, mother.
217
00:08:46,802 --> 00:08:49,003
Fire direct marketing algorithm!
218
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,672
(Whooshing)
219
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:53,007
(Computer chimes)
220
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:54,743
Do you suffer
from the heartbreak of...
221
00:08:54,810 --> 00:08:56,077
Fry: My underarm fungus.
222
00:08:56,145 --> 00:08:57,545
Then you, Mr. or Mrs....
223
00:08:57,613 --> 00:08:58,913
(Fry burping)
224
00:08:58,981 --> 00:09:00,348
Need the soothing relief
225
00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:02,217
of mom's caustic
anti-fungal bleach!
226
00:09:02,284 --> 00:09:03,685
Oh. Can I somehow charge it
227
00:09:03,753 --> 00:09:05,620
to my eyephone
for an additional fee?
228
00:09:05,688 --> 00:09:06,855
Hell, yes!
229
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,690
(Computer chirps)
230
00:09:08,758 --> 00:09:11,926
Hey, fatso, stuffa you face!
231
00:09:11,994 --> 00:09:13,294
(Gasps)
This thing always seems
232
00:09:13,362 --> 00:09:15,063
to know when I got the munchies!
233
00:09:15,131 --> 00:09:16,598
(Clicking)
234
00:09:16,665 --> 00:09:18,032
Attention followers.
235
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,400
It's free topping day
236
00:09:19,468 --> 00:09:22,604
at the Pizza Place
across the street! Send.
237
00:09:22,671 --> 00:09:24,405
(Computers chime)
238
00:09:24,473 --> 00:09:27,275
Duh. That's why we all came
over here for lunch. Send.
239
00:09:27,343 --> 00:09:28,810
(Computers chime)
240
00:09:28,878 --> 00:09:30,278
Greetings followers.
241
00:09:30,346 --> 00:09:31,579
This is day five
242
00:09:31,647 --> 00:09:34,649
of my solo kayak journey
around the world. Send.
243
00:09:34,717 --> 00:09:36,251
(Laughing)
244
00:09:36,318 --> 00:09:40,688
Can you believe 50,000 idiots
swallow that crap? Send.
245
00:09:40,756 --> 00:09:42,457
- Oops.
- Fry: Wait.
246
00:09:42,525 --> 00:09:43,958
You have 50,000 followers?
247
00:09:44,026 --> 00:09:46,528
I only have three. Send.
248
00:09:46,595 --> 00:09:48,596
(Computers chirp)
249
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:51,533
I unsubscribed yesterday.
250
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,967
I got the most
followers 'cause
251
00:09:53,035 --> 00:09:54,569
I give the people
what they want.
252
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:57,772
Like this video of you doing
karate in your underpants.
253
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,975
(Goofy karatf yells)
254
00:10:01,043 --> 00:10:02,544
Ow! Help! Police!
255
00:10:02,611 --> 00:10:05,113
Send.
256
00:10:05,181 --> 00:10:09,217
- That is low, Bender,
even by your standards.
- My what now?
257
00:10:09,285 --> 00:10:10,585
Since when is the Internet
258
00:10:10,653 --> 00:10:12,587
about robbing people
of their privacy?
259
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:14,823
August 6, 1991.
260
00:10:14,890 --> 00:10:17,158
I'll bet I can get
as many followers as you
261
00:10:17,226 --> 00:10:18,827
without sinking to your level.
262
00:10:18,894 --> 00:10:22,063
What do you say? First one to
a million followers wins a buck.
263
00:10:22,131 --> 00:10:23,932
You're on!
264
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:25,900
(Zapping)
- Ow!
- Send.
265
00:10:25,968 --> 00:10:27,235
What happens to the loser?
266
00:10:27,303 --> 00:10:29,971
Let's make it interesting.
267
00:10:33,576 --> 00:10:34,876
Shplecch.
268
00:10:34,944 --> 00:10:36,878
Why is Mr. Chunks
doing that?
269
00:10:36,946 --> 00:10:40,315
Because the loser of our bet
has to do a double somersault
270
00:10:40,382 --> 00:10:42,517
into a tub
of alien goat vomit.
271
00:10:42,585 --> 00:10:44,152
(Chuckles)
272
00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:45,954
Wait, let's make it
interestinger.
273
00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,456
Vomit and diarrhea.
274
00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:49,591
Good idea.
275
00:10:49,658 --> 00:10:51,693
That way we don't waste an end.
276
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,294
Ugh, it's putrid.
277
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,662
What do you feed him?
278
00:10:54,730 --> 00:10:56,764
What comes out one end,
we feed to the other.
279
00:10:56,832 --> 00:10:58,066
Also Indian food.
280
00:10:58,133 --> 00:10:59,267
(Vomiting)
281
00:10:59,335 --> 00:11:02,303
Let the contest begin!
282
00:11:09,411 --> 00:11:11,813
(Howling scream)
283
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,554
♪ ♪
284
00:11:27,196 --> 00:11:29,464
(bell dings)
285
00:11:29,531 --> 00:11:30,665
Amazing.
286
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:31,900
Some dumb bastard has nearly
287
00:11:31,967 --> 00:11:33,501
a million other dumb bastards
288
00:11:33,569 --> 00:11:35,503
following his every twit!
289
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:37,505
Are you dumb bastards
listening to me,
290
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:39,107
you dumb bastards?
291
00:11:39,174 --> 00:11:41,075
Why are you so
angry, mommy?
292
00:11:41,143 --> 00:11:42,644
Oh, I'm sorry.
293
00:11:42,711 --> 00:11:46,414
I guess I'm just a little
nervous about my evil plan.
294
00:11:46,482 --> 00:11:47,982
You dumb bastards!
295
00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:49,183
(All groan)
296
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,785
You see,
the plan is about
297
00:11:50,853 --> 00:11:52,787
to enter phase two.
298
00:11:52,855 --> 00:11:55,390
As soon as someone reaches
a million followers,
299
00:11:55,457 --> 00:11:57,625
I'll use them to transmit...
300
00:11:57,693 --> 00:11:59,694
The twit-worm.
301
00:12:03,165 --> 00:12:05,333
Oh, mother,
you devious hag.
302
00:12:05,401 --> 00:12:08,269
Tell us more
about this "twit-worm."
303
00:12:08,337 --> 00:12:10,371
It's a very special
computer virus,
304
00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,507
for instead of
infecting computers,
305
00:12:12,574 --> 00:12:16,210
it infects the human brain.
306
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,779
I like it.
307
00:12:17,846 --> 00:12:20,982
The million followers will
become an army of zombies,
308
00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:23,484
eager to obey my
every command.
309
00:12:23,552 --> 00:12:25,053
(Cackling laugh)
310
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,555
The important thing is,
we're a family.
311
00:12:27,623 --> 00:12:29,924
No, it's not!
(Yells)
312
00:12:32,061 --> 00:12:33,661
(Stops vomiting)
313
00:12:33,729 --> 00:12:35,730
(Sneezes, resumes vomiting)
314
00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:37,899
Ew, he sneezed in it.
315
00:12:37,967 --> 00:12:39,801
Oh, God, I'm going
to lose the bet.
316
00:12:39,868 --> 00:12:43,071
I'm gonna have to swim in the
juice of the puke-me-poop-you.
317
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:44,305
Don't give up.
318
00:12:44,373 --> 00:12:46,574
You just need
more titillating twits.
319
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:48,476
Trust me, I want
twits that tittle.
320
00:12:48,544 --> 00:12:50,545
Then you're going to have
to sink to Bender's level.
321
00:12:50,612 --> 00:12:52,280
Stop acting
like the Queen of England.
322
00:12:52,348 --> 00:12:54,782
Female voice:
♪ la, la, la, la, la, la, la. ♪
323
00:12:54,850 --> 00:12:57,018
Who was that...
the Queen of England?
324
00:12:57,086 --> 00:12:58,987
Uh, e... excuse me.
325
00:12:59,054 --> 00:13:01,689
I have to... someplace.
326
00:13:01,757 --> 00:13:02,924
That was odd.
327
00:13:02,992 --> 00:13:04,425
Where'd that singing
come from?
328
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:05,927
It wasn't the goat.
329
00:13:05,995 --> 00:13:09,097
All of its orifices
are in use.
330
00:13:12,701 --> 00:13:15,803
Female voice:
♪ I dreamed a dream in time ♪
331
00:13:15,871 --> 00:13:17,271
♪ gone by ♪
332
00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:19,140
Leela and female voice:
♪ when hope was high ♪
333
00:13:19,208 --> 00:13:23,011
♪ and life worth living ♪
334
00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:26,948
♪ I dreamed that love
would never die ♪
335
00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:28,616
Female voice:
♪ I dreamed that God ♪
336
00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:31,119
♪ would be forgiving. ♪
337
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,820
(screams)
338
00:13:32,888 --> 00:13:34,355
- What the hell is that?
- Nothing.
339
00:13:34,423 --> 00:13:36,224
Leela's boil:
I'm not nothing.
340
00:13:36,291 --> 00:13:39,060
(Sobbing):
All my life everyone's
called me nothing.
341
00:13:39,128 --> 00:13:40,294
You have a boil
on your butt
342
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:41,963
that sings show tunes
with you?
343
00:13:42,031 --> 00:13:43,264
Don't look at me.
344
00:13:43,332 --> 00:13:46,167
- I'm a freak.
- No, no... well...
345
00:13:46,235 --> 00:13:49,070
Oh, I've been ashamed of Susan
as long as I can remember.
346
00:13:49,138 --> 00:13:52,140
You named your boil
Susan?
347
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,775
A boil kinna have a name?
348
00:13:53,842 --> 00:13:56,544
They also said a boil
kinna sing, but...
349
00:13:56,612 --> 00:14:01,516
♪ Amazing grace ♪
350
00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:02,950
♪ how... ♪
Aaah!
351
00:14:03,018 --> 00:14:04,152
(Groans)
352
00:14:06,655 --> 00:14:08,189
Ew, she's Scottish.
353
00:14:08,257 --> 00:14:10,024
I Lance her every few months,
354
00:14:10,092 --> 00:14:12,560
but she always grows back.
355
00:14:12,628 --> 00:14:15,029
It's hard enough
being a cyclops,
356
00:14:15,097 --> 00:14:18,833
but if anyone found out
about Susan, I'd be devastated.
357
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:23,838
♪ Amazing grace ♪
358
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,573
♪ how... ♪
Aaah!
359
00:14:25,641 --> 00:14:27,208
Whoa, gross.
360
00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:28,509
Million-follower gross.
361
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:29,811
Fry, delete that.
362
00:14:29,878 --> 00:14:31,079
Delete that right now!
363
00:14:31,146 --> 00:14:32,313
What?
364
00:14:32,381 --> 00:14:34,515
Oh, okay.
365
00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:38,419
(Bender humming)
366
00:14:38,487 --> 00:14:39,687
(Chuckles)
367
00:14:39,755 --> 00:14:42,623
So much for a pleasant swim
in vomit.
368
00:14:46,795 --> 00:14:48,396
(Coughing)
369
00:14:48,464 --> 00:14:49,597
Send.
370
00:14:49,665 --> 00:14:51,265
(Coughing)
371
00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:53,434
- Did you delete it?
- Eh.
372
00:14:53,502 --> 00:14:55,837
Thanks, Fry, you're
a good friend.
373
00:14:55,904 --> 00:14:57,772
Eh...
374
00:14:59,954 --> 00:15:03,557
♪ Amazing grace ♪
375
00:15:03,624 --> 00:15:04,824
♪ how... ♪
Aaah!
376
00:15:04,892 --> 00:15:07,961
(Both laughing)
377
00:15:08,029 --> 00:15:09,529
Hey, there she goes
378
00:15:09,597 --> 00:15:10,830
in the genuine.
379
00:15:10,898 --> 00:15:12,032
Let's get
to hooting.
380
00:15:12,099 --> 00:15:13,300
Hoo!
381
00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:15,535
Whoa-oa-oas!
382
00:15:15,603 --> 00:15:19,306
If it ain'ts the world's
number ones Internet sensation!
383
00:15:19,373 --> 00:15:22,576
Where?
Also... what?
384
00:15:22,643 --> 00:15:25,145
♪ Amazing grace... ♪
385
00:15:25,212 --> 00:15:27,013
(Gasps)
386
00:15:27,081 --> 00:15:28,148
♪ How... ♪
Aaah!
387
00:15:28,215 --> 00:15:29,983
(All laughing)
388
00:15:31,118 --> 00:15:33,720
Play it one more time.
389
00:15:33,788 --> 00:15:36,856
No, it's humiliating
and degrading to Leela.
390
00:15:36,924 --> 00:15:38,992
Play it ten more times.
391
00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:41,127
(Sighs) I know
I shouldn't have twitted that,
392
00:15:41,195 --> 00:15:44,230
but not swimming in barf
might ease my conscience.
393
00:15:44,298 --> 00:15:48,501
But if Leela should find out,
her dignity sac will rupture.
394
00:15:48,569 --> 00:15:49,970
That's why
we can't let her see this.
395
00:15:50,037 --> 00:15:51,538
Leela, lock the door
so Leela doesn't...
396
00:15:51,606 --> 00:15:52,739
(Squeals)
397
00:15:52,807 --> 00:15:55,709
(Sobbing):
How could you do this?
398
00:16:01,582 --> 00:16:04,351
♪ ♪
399
00:16:32,013 --> 00:16:34,681
(Fly buzzing)
Poor Mr. Chunks.
400
00:16:34,749 --> 00:16:37,250
At least he died
doing what he loved.
401
00:16:38,552 --> 00:16:40,954
He's in a better place now.
402
00:16:42,957 --> 00:16:46,393
Thar, I turned a regular board
into a diving board.
403
00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:47,594
Mm-hmm.
404
00:16:47,662 --> 00:16:50,030
Impending news, everyone.
405
00:16:50,097 --> 00:16:52,932
We're about to learn
the winner of the bet.
406
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,001
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
407
00:16:55,069 --> 00:16:56,803
(Whispering):
I hope it's me.
408
00:17:02,109 --> 00:17:03,276
Wait a minute.
409
00:17:03,344 --> 00:17:04,811
There's a chance I could lose?
410
00:17:04,879 --> 00:17:06,780
That wasn't part of the deal.
411
00:17:08,816 --> 00:17:10,850
Sweet Georgia Brown
of Kingston Town.
412
00:17:10,918 --> 00:17:12,686
It's a tie.
413
00:17:12,753 --> 00:17:15,922
Since no one lost,
no one has to jump.
414
00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:18,391
All right, a tie!
I win again!
415
00:17:18,459 --> 00:17:21,327
Oh, I'm a scuzzball.
416
00:17:21,395 --> 00:17:22,562
Don't feel bad.
417
00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:24,464
At least you're not Leela.
418
00:17:27,601 --> 00:17:28,835
A tie?
419
00:17:28,903 --> 00:17:31,104
This worked out better
than I could have hoped.
420
00:17:31,172 --> 00:17:32,772
Now I'll have
two million zombies.
421
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,040
Actually,
422
00:17:34,108 --> 00:17:36,543
Fry and Bender may share
some of same followers.
423
00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,845
All we can say for sure
is that there will be
424
00:17:38,913 --> 00:17:41,981
between one million
and two million zombies.
425
00:17:42,049 --> 00:17:44,317
- All I can say for sure is...
- Ouch!
426
00:17:44,385 --> 00:17:48,288
Now, stop getting slapped
and power up the twit-worm.
427
00:17:56,530 --> 00:18:00,667
(Both laughing)
428
00:18:00,735 --> 00:18:03,403
It's both disgusting
and inspiring,
429
00:18:03,471 --> 00:18:05,905
like Jared from subway.
430
00:18:05,973 --> 00:18:08,174
Okay, I'm a freak
with a singingutt boil,
431
00:18:08,242 --> 00:18:11,111
but I'm still a human being,
more or less.
432
00:18:11,178 --> 00:18:12,345
Singing butts boil?
433
00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:14,147
That's yesterdayses news.
434
00:18:14,215 --> 00:18:18,084
Like that giant caterpillar
what ate Jared from subway.
435
00:18:18,152 --> 00:18:22,422
Nows us Internet geeks gots
a whole new video sensation.
436
00:18:22,490 --> 00:18:24,691
So my humiliations over?
437
00:18:24,759 --> 00:18:26,793
Who are you?
438
00:18:30,598 --> 00:18:33,733
And now, to create
an unstoppable army
439
00:18:33,801 --> 00:18:36,336
of between one
and two million zombies.
440
00:18:36,403 --> 00:18:37,604
(Thunder cracks)
441
00:18:37,671 --> 00:18:39,773
Uh, shouldn't you wait
442
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,274
for the weather
to clear up?
443
00:18:41,342 --> 00:18:45,745
No.
I give you the twit-worm.
444
00:18:47,715 --> 00:18:49,816
Send.
445
00:18:57,091 --> 00:19:00,126
Aah, I'm sick
of my head doing things.
446
00:19:00,194 --> 00:19:01,327
Leela!
447
00:19:01,395 --> 00:19:03,329
Fry, I came
to talk to you.
448
00:19:03,397 --> 00:19:05,532
No, I came to
talk to you.
449
00:19:05,599 --> 00:19:08,735
It looked like you were just
sitting there, but whatever.
450
00:19:08,803 --> 00:19:11,171
I am so, so sorry
for what I did,
451
00:19:11,238 --> 00:19:13,540
and I know I can never
make it up to you...
452
00:19:13,607 --> 00:19:15,041
You don't have to apologize.
453
00:19:15,109 --> 00:19:17,243
In fact, I came to thank you.
454
00:19:17,311 --> 00:19:19,078
I think you mean hit me.
455
00:19:19,146 --> 00:19:22,048
Everyone knows my secret,
but no one cares.
456
00:19:22,116 --> 00:19:24,217
I have nothing
to hide anymore.
457
00:19:24,285 --> 00:19:27,187
Oh, Fry, thanks
to your selfish rudeness,
458
00:19:27,254 --> 00:19:30,657
a terrible weight has
been lifted from my heart.
459
00:19:30,724 --> 00:19:33,693
Susan:
That's not the only place you
need a terrible weight lifted.
460
00:19:33,761 --> 00:19:34,961
(Squishing sound,
Susan screams)
461
00:19:35,029 --> 00:19:36,362
Susan and I are agreed.
462
00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:38,364
For the first time
in our lives,
463
00:19:38,432 --> 00:19:40,633
we're not ashamed
of who we are.
464
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:43,102
Susan:
I was never ashamed.
465
00:19:43,170 --> 00:19:45,205
Come here.
466
00:19:45,272 --> 00:19:46,739
(Sniffs)
What stinks?
467
00:19:46,807 --> 00:19:49,108
Were you rolling around
in new Jersey?
468
00:19:49,176 --> 00:19:51,511
Leela, I knew I could
never make it up to you,
469
00:19:51,579 --> 00:19:53,213
so I did the
next best thing...
470
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,250
I put myself through the same
humiliation I put you through.
471
00:20:05,125 --> 00:20:07,093
(Screams)
472
00:20:07,161 --> 00:20:08,862
(Grunts)
473
00:20:08,929 --> 00:20:11,364
(Gagging and sputtering)
474
00:20:11,432 --> 00:20:13,099
(Screams)
475
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:16,035
(Laughs)
476
00:20:16,103 --> 00:20:18,137
Aw, you didn't have
to do that.
477
00:20:18,205 --> 00:20:19,372
I didn't?
478
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:20,607
Damn.
479
00:20:20,674 --> 00:20:21,774
Don't worry.
480
00:20:21,842 --> 00:20:23,776
By tomorrow,
no one will remember.
481
00:20:23,844 --> 00:20:25,111
Can I have another hug?
482
00:20:25,179 --> 00:20:26,512
No.
483
00:20:26,580 --> 00:20:29,515
Susan:
Oh, hold your nose
and give it a go.
484
00:20:47,589 --> 00:20:49,986
Introducing the
new eyephone 2.0
485
00:20:55,610 --> 00:20:56,993
Damn bastards.
486
00:20:58,802 --> 00:21:00,116
Sync by n17t01, corrected by gloriabg
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