Relic Hunter 308 Devil Doll
Tell the men
Ahuitzotl's chamber must be completed before sunset.
NIGEL: Ah. Ah. Ah.
This is it.
I told you I would get you here.
No rebels, no troubles.
I know this jungle like...
How you say?
The front of my hand?
The expression is the back of my hand.
And the front of your hand
Is where half of our bank account went
When we hired you.
CARLOS: If you want the best,
It don't come cheap, no?
No.
SYDNEY: These blocks of stone correspond
To this point on the map.
13th century, the right period.
Well, I'll give you that but finding
A chamber underneath an Aztec pyramid...
You saw the images.
Satellite photos taken to monitor
Guerrilla activity in the area.
They weren't focusing in on geological anomalies.
This is the national security agency we're talking about.
Yes, that don't know what they're looking at
Unless it came maim,
Shoot or kill. I know.
NIGEL: Besides, the Aztecs always
Built up towards the heavens.
There's no evidence of them ever digging down...
Although that does look
Like a bit of an entrance.
CARLOS: This place give me the crepes.
Creeps.
That, too.
Touch the most harmless-looking thing
And it could be the trigger for a death trap.
Okay.
Nigel.
CARLOS: What do they all mean?
I don't know.
My ancient Aztec's a little rusty.
But I'd say,
"go no further or face certain death."
Sydney, this is amazing,
An actual Aztec chamber below ground,
Completely out of character
For a people whose whole way of life
Was based on the sun.
NIGEL: What is it?
SYDNEY: There's cut stones on the floor.
Yeah, the patterns have changed.
There were no diamond shapes before.
CARLOS: A trap?
Could be.
NIGEL: If it is an Aztec burial chamber.
We can't be too careful.
Follow close behind me
And avoid the stones.
Sorry, amigos.
It's time for us to...
How do you say?
Get out of chevy?
Dodge.
Sorry, Carlos,
But we didn't come 8000 miles
To turn back now.
So come along.
[rumbling]
Freeze!
NIGEL: Sydney.
Sydney, you all right?
We're okay, Nigel.
Just a little dusty.
Listen very carefully.
I want you to stand here, very still.
Do not move from this spot.
As a matter of fact,
Don't move at all.
If you must breathe,
Breathe with extreme caution.
You got me?
"Death is buried behind this door."
How inviting.
I'm guessing your ancient Aztec
Is a little less rusty than mine.
NIGEL: It says,
"the kings of Eztui,
Yucatan, Ochocoa
And Cuzco bind him in."
Those are all names of cities.
Looks like this lock is a series of colors.
NIGEL: Well, the ancient Aztecs believed
That the world was shaped like a cross
And had four corners to it,
Each of them represented by a color.
Well, those cities are laid out
In a pattern roughly representing a cross.
Eztui was the furthest east.
In ancient mythology,
East was often represented by red.
SYDNEY: Yucatan was the furthest west
And Ochocoa was north.
That'd make white and black.
Now, Cuzco was the southernmost,
Which would make that yellow.
So the order would be red, white, black, yellow.
Okay.
SYDNEY: Red...
White...
Black...
Yellow.
[rumbling]
God, what is that smell?
Almost like rotting corn.
NIGEL: It's too small for a burial.
SYDNEY: Maybe for a child.
Doesn't look like it's attached to anything.
It's a doll.
Well, it's not exactly Malibu barbie.
SYDNEY: Look at the eyes.
Rubies.
Look at the size.
I've heard of stones like these.
NIGEL: There's some writing here.
Might take a while to decipher.
Why don't you take a rubbing?
We'll decipher it when we get out of here.
It's okay if I move now?
Not unless you want that thing
To sink its teeth into your neck.
What did you find?
A doll.
A doll?
Not just any doll.
NIGEL: It's got rubies for eyes.
Madre de dios.
I'm going to call Karen,
Have her notify professor Anderson.
[phone dialing]
[beeping]
Oh, come on.
Ahuitzotl.
What is that?
Not what.
Who.
Ahuitzotl was a diabolical
15th century Aztec emperor.
Legend says he sacrificed 60,000
Of his subjects in one year.
SYDNEY: Ah, it's no use.
I can't get a good signal in this footprint.
Knife.
Now, I take the doll...
While you two...
How do they say?
Dead as a doorman.
That's doornail.
Yeah, okay, thanks.
Bye.
Is professor fox here?
I'm sorry. She won't be back
In the office until Tuesday.
I don't have that kind of time.
It's important I speak with her.
Look, sir, I don't know who you are,
But I can't make Sydney fox appear
When she's 8000 miles away.
I'm her assistant.
I'm not a magician.
Ancient studies.
Wayne Nugent, national security agency.
I need to get in touch with professor fox now.
I've been having a hard time reaching her.
Uh huh.
Our agency provided professor fox
With some recon photos of a possible hidden temple.
In central America.
Yeah, that's where she is.
Right. Well, one of our satellites
Has detected some mercenary-led
Guerrilla activity
In close proximity to the temple.
If you reach her before I do,
Tell her to get the hell out of there.
Thank you.
[phone dialing]
[phone ringing]
OPERATOR: The satellite customer you are trying
To reach is currently out of the footprint area
Or has turned off their equipment.
[struggling]
NIGEL: Why did he have to hit me over the head?
Could've been worse.
I don't see how.
He left us here to starve,
Rot, be bitten by poisonous snakes.
I don't see that as an act of kindness.
There are no poisonous snakes
In this part of the jungle.
Just the kind that suffocate
And swallow you.
Thank you very much.
I feel a lot better now.
Just thought I'd take your mind off the headache.
Can you give me your feet?
What?
Throw them over your head.
Over my head?
Look, you're a lot more flexible than I.
All right.
Sydney.
Sorry.
All right, again.
Almost had it.
Okay.
One more time.
I've got it.
Hurry.
Carlos to base.
Hey, Carlos.
CARLOS: I've got something from the treasure hunters.
What is it?
An Aztec doll,
Could be worth millions.
A doll?
CARLOS: With rubies for eyes.
It could buy a lot of guns, no?
What about the relic hunters?
Good as dead.
Muy bien.
Nice work, Carlos.
Get back here pronto, huh?
Rubies for eyes.
[laughing]
How's it going?
Oh, just another minute or two.
I hate to alarm you
But I think I just saw one of those snakes
We were talking about coming our way.
You know, I used to be a boy scout.
Not as good as an eagle scout
Like my brother Preston.
Always brown-nosing Mrs Baden-Powell,
Just a couple more...
Nigel, I'm not that flexible!
NIGEL: Almost got it.
I did it.
Two half-hitches.
A bowline and we'd have been done for.
Somehow, I don't think Carlos was ever a boy scout.
What now?
I think I have an idea.
Okay.
Just relax.
You ready?
Ready.
[screaming]
Relax. This'll only take a second.
It better, otherwise I'm going to need an ambulance.
Trust me?
Yeah.
[moaning]
Oh, this is good.
What's wrong.
Nothing other than you've just
Dislocated my shoulders.
Oh, come on, Nigel.
Yoga, remember?
Breathe.
Yeah, well...
Well, one class.
I was in a wheelchair for a week.
What?
What are you doing?
If I can just get my hands from behind my back.
Hold still.
Ow.
What's going on?
Hold still.
I've almost got it.
[moaning]
NIGEL: Maybe I should loosen up
With a few more classes.
I wonder if they have any below novice level,
Maybe something for people coming out of traction.
If you find one of those,
You might let Carlos know.
He'll need one of them
Once I get through with him.
SYDNEY: These look fairly fresh.
Oh, my head is throbbing.
Well, the Aztecs had several
Natural remedies for headaches,
Ingredients they found
Right here in this jungle.
Oh, well, let me know what to look for.
I could really use a few about now.
There was a potion called nazactol.
Of course, you'd have to boil the venom
From one of the deadliest snakes
On the planet to make it.
I thought you said there were no snakes
In this part of the jungle.
That was five clicks back.
Here...
Oh, there is another remedy.
How do you feel about eating bugs?
Is that...?
Carlos.
SYDNEY: Smell that?
NIGEL: It's the same odor
As at the burial chamber.
Industrial strength corn incense.
This face remind you of anything?
I'd really rather not.
What do you reckon?
Snake bite?
Tarantula sting?
Don't see any marks.
He won't be needing this.
Well, one thing's for certain.
He wasn't ambushed.
They would've stolen the idol.
Do you notice the foliage
And the ground cover?
Some sort of incredibly localized
Micro-burst blew in here.
RADIO: Carlos?
Carlos, do you copy?
Where the hell are you with that doll?
You were supposed to be back an hour ago.
Come in.
Carlos, come in.
Who's that?
Chances are whoever they are,
They're going to come looking for Carlos
And the doll some time soon.
Let's get to the train.
None too soon for me, I'm afraid.
If I never see another jungle,
It won't be soon enough.
Keep your eyes open.
Any one of these characters
Could've been Carlos' contact.
Idiota.
BIRD: Idiota.
Sydney, that parrot just insulted me.
You speak macaw?
My Spanish is a little rusty,
But I'm pretty sure he called me an idiot.
He was talking to you?
He was looking straight at me.
Excuse me.
Are you waiting for the train to Tegucigalpa?
There appears to be a one-hour delay.
Thank you.
BIRD: Idiota.
[phone ringing]
Ancient studies.
Karen, it's Sydney.
KAREN: Finally.
Listen, Wayne Nugent from the NSA
Said a satellite picked up
Some guerrilla activity in your area.
You've got to get out of there as fast as you can.
Yeah, we're on our way out.
Now, I need for you to call professor Anderson
And tell him that we confirmed the existence
Of an underground Aztec chamber
And that we have discovered
An ancient idol
That might've belonged to Ahuitzotl.
Spell it phonetically.
Okay, I'll let him know asap.
Let me know if you need anything else.
SYDNEY: Thanks.
Ow. Ow!
BIRD: Idiota.
What is going on?
It bit me.
Nigel, we are almost out of here.
Let's not call any more attention to ourselves
Than we have to.
This one.
[snoring]
[♪]
[rumbling]
[screaming]
The bag's gone.
What?
There's a hole in the wall.
Can I help you?
Sorry.
They all look alike.
The nun.
Looks like she was trying to pry the eyes out.
That's the end of it.
No wounds, visible marks.
Localized wind like back in the jungle.
And there's that smell again.
Yeah, just like Carlos.
Nigel, they both touched the doll.
We took it out of the Aztec chamber, sure,
But we touched the outside of the box.
Maybe that's why this happened to them and not us.
[whistling]
We're not supposed to stop here.
SOLDIER 1: Nobody gets off the train.
SYDNEY: Men with guns.
Big guns.
RADIO: I want a man at the exit of each train car
And no one leaves
Until you search everyone for that doll.
Comprende?
You're not suggesting we take it with us?
SYDNEY: We can't just leave it here.
We should, with a big sign on it saying
"friends of Carlos, pick this up."
[speaking Spanish]
SYDNEY: Were you hit?
NIGEL: No.
Thanks.
What?
Twisted my ankle.
Can you walk?
Fast hobble, at best.
It'll have to do.
[speaking Spanish]
BIRD: Idiota.
Wise-ass, huh?
MARIA: It's probably local Indian.
And I don't speak the dialect.
Idiota.
You know,
I actually like birds,
Especially with a little hot salsa.
Uh oh.
MAN: I don't know what you are looking for.
A woman adventurer and her brit sidekick.
Well, there was a very suspicious-looking
Couple poking around my compartment
A few moments ago.
They went to the rear of the train.
Good.
You may live.
Maria, what the hell happened to her?
He...
He's a local thief.
I've seen him in centehuel before.
Well, something scared the hell out of him.
Maybe a mirror.
Javier is missing from his post.
I've got to stop,
Got to stop, got to stop.
My ankle is killing me.
All right, but not for long.
It's definitely broken.
Can you put that thing away?
It's giving me the crepes.
Can you make it back to the pyramid?
What?
We've got to put the idol back.
Over the ground we've just covered,
That's suicide.
Since we took it from the temple,
Two people have died.
Two people that were willing to kill us for it,
As I recall, and we don't
Even know if the idol's responsible.
You and I have witnessed too many
Ancient powers to ignore the evidence we've seen.
Can't we just leave it here?
That won't stop its next victims from finding it.
We'll be the next victims
If we go back through those mercenaries.
Nigel, we brought him back into the world.
We ignored the warnings.
I'm betting that we haven't
Even seen Ahuitzotl's full power.
But I've seen enough to know,
We've got to put him back.
[phone ringing]
Ancient studies.
Karen, it's Sydney.
Hey, did you make the train?
We did but we had to get off.
KAREN: Why?
Long story.
I need your help.
Sure, but I'm 8000 miles away.
I need you to call Wayne Nugent at the NSA.
Tell him I need a big favor.
Sydney?
Hello?
[♪]
WAYNE: I'm not so sure about this.
I could get into a lot of trouble.
KAREN: Yeah well, Sydney's in a lot of trouble.
Forget it. NASA's already using the satellite.
Can't you just go online
And get it back?
No, no, sorry, I can't. No.
You were the one that gave her
The information in the first place.
Yeah, I was trying to help her out.
I'm sure it'll do wonders for your career
When the press finds out
You led a world- renowned scholar
And relic hunter into the jungles of central America
And then left her and her assistant there
At the mercy of a hostile band of guerrillas.
Look, she went there by her own choice.
Tell it to the senate subcommittee, Wayne.
Fine.
They're all over the place.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
I don't know.
All of a sudden,
My entire body's started to itch.
That's because you're sitting in a bunch of octopal.
Who?
It's a south American strain of poison ivy.
See the red leaves?
Well, this just keeps getting better and better.
[cracking]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Sydney, it's Wayne Nugent.
I can see you're in a bit of a jam.
That's a bit of an understatement.
Got you imaged here up on the satellite.
Looks like you've got about a dozen
Unfriendlies scanning the perimeter.
Have you got a GPS?
Yeah, hang on, hang on.
He's going to do it?
WAYNE: Look, Sydney,
I can get you out of there.
After we put Ahuitzotl back in his crypt.
WAYNE: Put him back?
Okay, it's your funeral.
All right, the temple's about five k
Northwest of your current position,
Bearing three- one-zero,
But you've got a patrol boat
A quarter click out that same direction
Heading your way.
So you're going to have to move southwest,
But not too far
Because you've got another patrol
About the same distance down that way.
I need a heading, Wayne.
Southwest is not a heading.
All right, set your heading at two-one-five.
Okay, I got it. We're on the move.
He does know what he's doing, doesn't he?
Gee, I hope so.
Sydney, you...
You've got two unfriendlies
Heading for you from the east.
Wayne, east is not helpful.
Divert your course directly west immediately,
Two-seven-zero.
WAYNE: Doing great, Syd, doing great.
Okay, let's get you back on course for the temple.
Make your move north bearing three-six-zero.
Got it.
WAYNE: What? Damn it.
Sydney, you've got two patrols looping around
Towards you from the northeast and the southeast.
Head east.
I repeat, head east and hurry.
But that's back the way we just came from.
There must be patrols all around us.
What...
What happened?
Sunspots, some kind of atmospheric disturbance,
I don't know California didn't pay their hydro bill.
Oh god, do something.
Sydney, stop right now.
WAYNE: Do not move.
Do not speak.
Do not breathe.
You're right on top of two of them.
I'm not sure how far.
But if you spit,
It's a good bet you'd hit one.
What?
SOLDIER 2:...Amigo.
Keep your eyes open, eh.
Hey, listen.
Nigel.
Now there's two less to worry about.
Afraid that's not good enough.
There's two more right behind them.
We've got to get these guys off our tails.
NIGEL: A diversion?
Yeah.
All right, when I say,
Get ready to haul it out of here.
Go!
[gun shots]
This way.
Okay.
Great.
Okay, that's it.
Watch it.
Go.
The combination is red,
White, black
And then yellow.
[rumbling]
Sydney?
Ola, guapa.
You know, I've got to give you two credit.
That little trick you pulled with the gun
Threw me off for a little while.
But then again,
It also told me that you were still around.
People know we're here.
We're being tracked by satellite.
So is half the damn country.
Good luck getting anyone
In here to escort you out.
Nice toothpick.
This must be the little guy
I've been hearing so much about.
Don't take it out of the box.
And why not?
Two people have been killed already.
Come on, guapa.
A piece of stone?
Okay, you open it.
Open it!
Let's see those gorgeous eyes.
Madre mia, Carlos wasn't lying.
These rubies must be worth millions.
[rumbling]
Nigel, don't look into the light!
[rumbling continues]
Come on, come on, come on.
Uh-oh.
What?
Well, if there is a mechanism
For re-coding the lock,
It'll be on the other side of the door.
I'm not going back in there.
Are you?
No.
I never thought I'd live to see the day.
Sydney fox defacing a piece of history?
This is one piece of history
That doesn't need to be discovered.
Oh, hey.
Professor Anderson called
From Latin American studies.
Oh.
I'll have to let him know
That we couldn't bring the relic back.
I'm sure he'll be disappointed.
Yeah, would've been quite a piece
For the university museum to add to its collection.
Yeah, not with this Ahuitzotl
Terrorizing the campus
And maybe even the city.
Oh, you didn't tell Anderson anything
About where we were, did you?
I just mentioned central America.
Nothing more specific.
Good.
I wouldn't want anyone else
Trying their luck
Recovering that relic again.
I know the NSA won't be going public
With our secret any time soon.
[glass breaking]
Sorry about the door.
Oh, my god,
What happened to you?
More like what didn't.
An unfortunate...
Hookup with octopal,
I'm afraid, Karen.
KAREN: I thought you said it was the Ahuitzotl.
Well, as bad as he was,
Octopal had a much longer-lasting effect.
How's the calamine working for you?
Nigel.
Subtitle by: Kiasuseven