Relic Hunter 319 Pandora's Box
The an-najaf clans are the hereditary
Guardians of this sacred relic
And, as my son,
One day you will wear
This special key
And you too shall have that duty.
(son:)pandora's box.
It's beautiful.
Uh huh. But very dangerous.
Remember, never under any circumstances
Are you to open it.
Who was pandora?
A foolish girl.
Far too curious for her own good.
Now come, your studies await.
Father, my ball.
Quickly.
[♪]
"to my sister catherine,
I leave my shares
In dakron oil as well as
The chalet in chamonix.
To my brother ross...
I leave my automobile collection
And my house in st. Tropez.
To my good friend
And colleague sydney fox,
I leave what may be my most
Valuable possession: A key.
As skilled as I was, I failed.
Now, sydney, it's up to you,
The world's foremost relic hunter.
Use this key to find...
Pandora's box."
[thunder]
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(karen:)you actually think
This key is for real?
{pos(192,200)}Well, carbon dating places it in
{pos(192,200)}The same era that pandora
{pos(192,200)}Supposedly lived.
{pos(192,200)}You know, my mom used to tell
{pos(192,200)}Me bedtime stories about her.
{pos(192,200)}Yeah, the first woman created by zeus,
{pos(192,200)}Unable to resist temptation,
{pos(192,200)}She opened the box and unleashed
Seven deadly plagues on the world.
{pos(192,200)}Well, mom's version went more like this:
Pandora was a naughty girl
{pos(192,200)}Who opened her mother's jewellery box
{pos(192,200)}And broke her favourite broach.
{pos(192,200)}But, if pandora promised never
{pos(192,200)}To touch mom's stuff again,
{pos(192,200)}She could stay up late
{pos(192,200)}And watch family ties.
{pos(192,200)}I believe that's what we call
{pos(192,200)}"artistic licence".
You said mack hollingsworth
Was the greatest relic hunter
That ever lived, right?
{pos(192,200)}Yeah, he was old school.
{pos(192,200)}Sort of like the indiana jones
Of relic hunting.
{pos(192,200)}So, when he called you
{pos(192,200)}The world's foremost relic hunter,
It was some compliment.
{pos(192,200)}Well... Yeah,
{pos(192,200)}But even he wasn't able to find it.
I must admit, the idea of finding
The real pandora's box,
It's rather tempting.
{pos(192,200)}Hollingsworth was a genius.
{pos(192,200)}Come take a look at this.
As you know, a portion
Of the key handle was missing
So it was impossible to determine
What this symbol was.
But by utilizing a comprehensive
Historical database,
Hollingsworth has developed
A computerized extrapolation process
To come up with the second half of the symbol.
It's amazing.
That's mack.
He was just about to act on
This information when he was taken ill.
(syd:)that's funny, it looks like
A persian family seal.
It's the family seal
Of the sultan of an-najaf.
It turns out an- najaf is now
The city of barak, in djibatar.
I know that look, you guys.
Wait a sec'.
Haven't you seen this latest
State department fax?
Don't you people check your in - boxes?
(syd:)djibatar was just added to
The tribal advisory warning list.
(nigel:)due to the extremely volatile
Political situation of civil unrest.
Oh well, I...
Suppose it's for the best,
What with the mid- terms coming up
And that teufelsdroch grant
Application to put in.
Now's probably not the best time to go
Gallivanting around the world,
Risking our lives.
Although, I hear djibatar's quite
Lovely this time of year.
[♪]
The box is probably still
Stashed somewhere in the sultan's palace.
If we're lucky.
(nigel:)lucky?
We're going after pandora's box,
The neutron bomb of all relics,
In a country on the brink of revolution.
Somehow I'm not feeling terribly lucky.
There is still time to change your mind.
Too late, we're here.
Come on, I'll find you a lucky horseshoe.
Stop! Thief!
Thief!
Stop, thief!
Watch it!
Coming through.
Sorry.
My melons!
My stall!
Don't you look where you're going?
You brains of a slow witted yak.
You're destroying my business.
I'll come back and pay for any damages,
But right now I have to go.
What's going on here?
Look what he did to my spices.
I was chasing a chap who robbed me.
I saw no thief.
(syd:)my friend's bag was stolen.
I was a witness.
He's the thief.
Papers.
(syd:)everything's in order.
(owner:)everything except my store.
Look, I was just trying to recover my bag,
And... O-ho- ho, okay!
(ahmed:)okay, let's stop this right now.
Might I remind you, gentlemen,
The words of the great prophet:
"to forgive is divine.
No harm, no foul..."
Or something like that.
Now you, gun down.
You, don't be so intense.
And you!
Apologize to this good gentleman
For the inconvenience
That you've caused him.
I was the one who was robbed.
Nigel, apologize to the nice man.
I did offer to pay for the damages.
You see, inarticulate,
But heartfelt.
Just a big mistake.
Exactly. Alas,
There is no armour against fate and...
Ah you!
Aren't you haddi's youngest?
Yes.
Yes, I remember you.
You look just like your father.
It's nice that we're all catching up,
But what about my bag?
And you,
Sorry about your father,
But what they say about him,
It's all lies!
Okay, so,
I think we're all done here.
You, happy?
Good, okay, give my best to your father,
And...
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Let's go.
Your passports?
Seems we owe you our thanks.
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is sayyid ahmed tabriz.
I'm a consultant, businessman,
Journeyman, part- time psychic
And dog handler.
Basically, a friend to those in need.
I'm sydney fox
And this is nigel bailey.
We're just history professors.
Nice to meet you.
A thing of such beauty
Is a joy forever.
Well, I guess this is where we part
And say good -bye.
Now, you have to watch
Your every step in barak.
We've recently fallen into
The clutches of colonel montoya,
The man who runs this region
With an iron fist
And titanium kishkes.
Now, every destruction
Is dealt with most severely.
I should be looking for the guy
Who stole my bag.
I had a brand new pair of andino favrot
Boots in there, cost me 400 dollars.
Yeah, well maybe I can be of assistance.
Hey!
[whistling]
Come on.
Nigel, sydney,
I introduce my cherished children.
This is esfahan...
Fix your hat!
This is al-m'' mun, good boy.
This is marduk...
What's in your mouth?
Get it out.
This is the lovely aria,
The image of her departed mother.
Very nice to meet you all.
(ahmed:)now, children, this man here,
He's lost his duffel bag.
Organize a search, and find it.
Go!
But they don't even know
What it looks like.
Please, mr. Bailey,
My children are not without imagination.
Your children are beautiful.
You must be very proud.
(ahmed:)alas...
After the passing of their beloved mother,
I... I've done my best.
But... There are times when even I
Can not afford
To put food...
[crying]
I don't mean to trouble you
With such matters.
Well, I guess we do need
A guide for a few days.
A guide. It's done.
Don't you want to know what the job is first?
Please.
Being with two such as yourselves,
It's not a job...
It's an honour.
Well, we're looking for
The sultan's palace.
Do you know it?
Of course.
(nigel:)okay, well, in that case,
What shall we say...?
Please, I do not impose
A fee for my services.
Oh, well I'm afraid we'd have to insist
On some kind of stipend.
Please, don't offend me.
Okay. You know...
If you insist.
The palace is outside the city.
Give me one hour to make my inquiries,
Then we leave immediately.
Okay, an hour...
Wait, it's just...
(ahmed:)okay, so I've done my research, so...
There is good news and bad news.
What's the good news?
The good news is: The sultan's palace
Is still standing.
And the bad news.
Learn to drive!
That was close.
(ahmed:)our beloved colonel montoya.
May he suffer
Chronic constipation.
The one with the titanium kishkes?
A fortified palace?
This wouldn't be that bad news
You were referring to?
It serves now as a
Headquarters for the colonel
And his band of cutthroat mercenaries.
He's plundered
And sold off most of our treasures.
My sources have no news about the...
The pandora's box, but I do.
Now you tell me,
Are the legends true?
If a person were to open the box?
Well, most of the time legends
Are just fantastic stories.
Um, not always, though.
If it is still inside there,
Finding the box would give us some answers.
There's just this little matter of...
Getting past the guards.
(ahmed:)have faith in ahmed...
And all will be well.
Come.
You ever heard of kfc?
There's a secret entrance
Here at the dungeons.
From the roman time that even
Montoya knows nothing about.
And you do?
Yeah, my kids like to
Play hide 'n seek here.
What kind of person lets his kids
Play hide 'n seek in a dungeon?
Do you really want me to answer that?
[♪]
Come with me.
{ Advertisement }
Chips...
Xena, princess warrior,
And v.I.P., of course.
I'm a discovery channel,
Biography and a&e man myself.
Ah, but the best one is
The world wrestling federation.
Tell me, have you...
Met 'stone cold' steve austin?
No, I've never had the pleasure.
What about the undertaker?
Uh, no.
But surely you...
You've been to Monday night smackdown?
Mm....
No? I don't believe it.
If it was me,
Every night I'd be front row,
Centre stage.
"and now the rock is running roughshod
Over the undertaker.
And what's this?
The undertaker has entered the ring,
Who is clearly ready to rumble!
Sh! I hear something.
The way into the palace.
It's safer to take
A little tunnel down here.
It's hauer,
Head of montoya's security,
The most feared man in all of barak...
Especially by me.
Is there another way around them?
Only back.
[♪]
What?
Back!
There are more in front of us.
Are you sure?
They must have seen us come in here.
Any suggestions?
Now.
[♪]
(ahmed:)I had a sneaking suspicion
We might find difficulties here,
So I worked out a contingency plan.
It's locked.
That, I'm afraid, is unexpected.
[whistling]
Good work, my boy.
Better late then ever.
Come on.
Come with me please.
With no delay, come on.
[♪]
They're still in here.
Find them.
Southern wall's the least exposed.
There's only one sentry.
I say we wait till nightfall,
Then go over top.
It's all taken care of.
What's all taken care of?
It just so happens that my third cousin
On my father's side is in
Charge of montoya's 'entertainment'.
I'm not sure I follow.
It's not escaped my notice that...
You are very beautiful,
And I'm sure a most alluring dancer.
I've made sure that you are part
Of the festivities tonight.
Well, as long as it gets me inside.
Uh huh.
Well, that's good for you, but what about for me?
[♪]
These are for you.
I thought the colours would
Set off your 'classic eyes'.
Tell me, you are an autumn, yes?
Ah, thank you, these will be fine.
Yes, yes, yes.
Good, well, I'll go
And get the other dancers.
You'll be ready when I get back?
With bells on?
Mm, and nigel?
Fine!
Just peachy!
We'll both be ready.
I can't wait.
Are you almost done?
You must be joking.
What's taking you so long?
(nigel:)have you any idea what this
Little escapade entails?
Not to mention the pain and discomfort?
How do you people put up with this?
I guess I'll just get dressed out here.
Putting a lot of faith in our newfound chum.
Aren't we?
Ahmed?
If he was going to turn us
Over to colonel montoya,
He'd have done it by now,
Don't you think?
Well, he seems a bit slippery to me.
Oh! Ah! Aiee!
What?
Ah, nothing.
Just a little more.
You need any help?
No, I should...
I should say not.
(syd:)well, don't forget,
Ahmed did help us out with those
Soldiers back at the train station.
(nigel:)argh.
[struggling]
Yes, well,
One day the same soldiers
That he let us run into in the tunnels.
(syd:)short of parachuting into the palace,
I can't see any other way
Of getting in there.
I suppose you're right.
That turquoise is you.
Let's just hope these socks stay in place.
Uh-uh-uh.
What now?
You're not going out looking like that.
Really?
No self-respecting harem girl
Would be caught dead without her make-up.
Oh...
[♪]
This is ridiculous, they're never going
To believe that I'm a...
Voice, nigella.
Besides, with bazooms like that,
They won't be looking at your face.
You, don't let your guard
Down even for one instance.
Remember, from right now,
You are scherazade.
Okay. Ahem.
Yes?
It's you.
Where is kemal?
Kemal has a little physical problem.
A combination of last night's kebabs
And a weak bladder.
So, I am dealing with his affairs.
These are the dancing girls.
I tell you, you are
The exact image of your father.
Ha? Okay.
[♪]
Well, as we say
In the choreodramatic arts,
The show must go off.
I tell you, the resemblance is...
Is uncanny!
Come on.
(syd:)nigel.
Look familiar?
That's the same griffin as on the crest.
(soldier:)ahem.
[♪]
[ambience sound]
Hauer.
We're dead.
Just keep your veil up.
(colonel:)ha ha! Welcome, welcome,
Welcome, ladies!
Make yourself at home.
Me casa, es su casa.
Oh!
Oh, my slipper.
Follow my lead.
Excuse me.
Where is the ladies room?
Come here, you.
(nigel:)sydney.
[screaming]
No, no, no,
Good things come to
Those who wait, my friend.
I've got to find sydney.
I've got to follow syd.
It's too late,
They're playing our song.
Who shall be first among you, huh?
You, the shy one.
Me?
[♪]
Bingo.
[♪]
This one's for you, mack.
[♪]
{ Advertisement }
[♪]
[door opening]
Well this day just keeps
Getting better and better.
What is this place you're
So anxious to find?
You mean this isn't the way
To the ladies' room?
Step this way...
Slowly.
[♪]
(syd:)is it a crime here
For a woman to powder her nose?
Oh yeah, forgot it's a crime here
For a woman to show her nose.
Outside.
[♪]
Very hostile... For a dancer.
[♪]
Having a gun aimed at me
Kind of sets me off.
(colonel:)hauer?
What's going on?
(hauer:)the hidden room, colonel.
She was looking for it.
(colonel:)who are you?
You are not dancer.
You're no bargain yourself.
You.
(colonel:)tyrus was always
Of discriminating taste.
Let's see what you discovered, gwapa.
(nigel:)easy!
Nigel.
(nigel:)pandora's box.
Emeralds...
Rubies...
Gold. Magnifico.
[thunder]
Perhaps some things
Are best left alone.
(syd:)it's images of deadly plagues.
(nigel:)and a woman must open the box.
Some sort of mythological
'do not distur'' sign.
Look, last an- najaf guardian.
[speaking persian]
We should break the lock.
And see what riches these
Treasure hunters have got to find.
I'd think twice if I were you.
My name is sydney fox,
I'm a professor of ancient studies,
And this is the legendary
Pandora's box.
(nigel:)look, I'm not one
To lend credence to superstition.
But, for once, I'd listen.
Legends talk of deadly plagues;
Day turning to night,
That stars blotted out by the heavens.
Real wrath-of- god type stuff.
A most entertaining performance.
Execute them at dawn.
(ahmed:)wait. Wait, wait, wait, listen.
Listen to me.
This jail thing, you know,
I don't know about them,
But I get rheumatism,
A bit of paranoia.
I think it's in your best interest
To let me out and let me go do
Something for you, me
For montoya...
We can sort...
[hammering]
Somebody didn't want this opened.
Maybe the lady professor was right.
Oh, nonsense, it's a trick.
If all these jewels are on the outside,
Imagine the riches inside.
Now open it!
Go!
The antiquities dealer will be
Here first thing in the morning.
You certain he'll pay top dollar?
He'd be a fool not to.
He knows your reputation, colonel.
Open it! Open it!
Any contingency plans up your sleeve?
Uh... No.
This treasure...
Make us kings among men.
[♪]
An eclipse.
(nigel:)how can there be an eclipse?
(man:)god save us all.
The sky.
Close it.
(colonel:)no.
[♪]
They've opened pandora's box.
{ Advertisement }
Come with me.
What's going on?
(hauer:)montoya opened the box,
Cursed thing won't close.
You sure it was wise to agree?
Do you think we have a choice?
Sydney fox, relic hunter,
World traveller,
Closer of the gates of hell!
I got us out of that cell, didn't I?
What?!
Where's montoya?
That is what is left
Of him after he opened it.
I don't believe in curses, plagues,
But I felt the wind.
Explain to me the clouds
That block the sun.
It's all unfolding according
To the legend.
Close it.
Can you close it?
Possibly.
No negotiating.
Help me, or he dies.
[♪]
It's definitely pre-hellenistic.
The structure is similar to some
Aramaic trinket boxes I've seen.
The specific design is unique.
It's not solid cast.
Wait a minute, there's a...
There's an inscription written
On the inside of the lid.
Ah!
It's aramaic.
Can you translate?
"the eumenides shall be undone by...
By... By... By... By an arrow...
An arrow through...
Cardia." eumenides.
Eumenides was an ancient word for what?
Eumenides was an ancient word
For pandemonium.
And cardia was a sassanian
Term referring to the sun.
"pandemonium shall be undone..."
"...By an arrow through the sun."
The sun.
Amber is the stone
That represents the sun.
It's an amber sun disc.
With a hole through it.
What?
I know that look. What?
Here.
What?
(syd:)it's an arrow.
Through the sun.
The sultan and his clan must have
Been guarding some sacred relic.
(nigel:)his crypt must be nearby.
Hold this.
Hauer?
Forgive us.
(hauer:)how did you know the sultan
Was buried with the arrow?
I don't, it's a longshot.
Pardon the pun.
Okay, alright.
Okay, there.
Got it.
Perhaps this will be of some use.
Perhaps not.
Here goes nothing.
[thunder]
[rumbling]
[♪]
(ahmed:)my god, you are a genius.
You saved us from a great cataclysm.
Brought us back from
The edge of the abyss.
(hauder:)just in time to meet
Velovsky at the bazaar.
Maxim velovsky?
The antiques dealer?
I had no idea he was so renowned.
After everything that's happened,
You're going to sell it to him?
He'll open the bloody thing!
As long as the infernal thing is taken
Far away from me, what do I care?
Get them out of here.
What's the matter?
Okay, okay.
May rabid dogs chew off your backside,
You miserable scallywags.
[♪]
Fastest way to the bazaar?
Out the way we came.
(syd:)mind if I wear your dress?
I can't spend another minute
In these rags.
There will be time enough
When we get to the bazaar.
We have to spread out,
Look for hauer.
That little weasel!
Well he does have family.
Come on.
See if we're gonna pass right by
Where we hide our clothes.
(syd:)how fast can you unhook a bra?
It's been a pleasure
Doing business with you.
The pleasure is all mine.
Give my regards to colonel montoya.
(hauder:)let's just say that,
If you have any problems,
Give me a call.
[♪]
Ah, we were just working out.
Ever heard of a blindfold?
[♪]
(ahmed:)he's stealing the box.
Hey!
[♪]
(ahmed:)nigel, before he opens it!
[♪]
(nigel:)I've got it!
I've got it, no eclipse.
I tell you,
That was the mother
Of all smackdowns.
Uh huh. Excuse me.
That guy had my andino favrot boots on.
Hey, the train station is that way.
You have five minutes
To catch the last train.
Come on.
Don't want another eclipse.
We won't find our way
Back to the station.
{ Advertisement }
(syd:)well, pandora's box is under
Extremely tight security at
The national museum of djibatar.
They do know what they have, don't they?
No one will be opening it again.
At least not in our lifetime.
This was part of mack's will.
I could only tell you
If the box was found.
Wow.
Look at all those zeroes.
Pleased?
I'd say we're positively giddy.
So, what are you going to do
With all that cash?
Well, it was mack that got us here.
That's true.
Without his research,
We never would have found
♪pandora's box.
And without his inspiration
And friendship, who knows where I'd be.
How does the mack hollingsworth
Memorial scholarship sound to you?
Does have a certain ring to it.
Absolutely.
Agreed.
I think he'd be pleased.
Subtitle by: Kiasuseven