1
00:00:00,518 --> 00:00:04,232
- Tonight at 11:00...
- Doom...!

2
00:00:06,268 --> 00:00:08,668
<i>♪ Two... two, three... ♪</i>

3
00:00:15,554 --> 00:00:18,082
sync by n17t01, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com

4
00:00:24,244 --> 00:00:27,147
Boy, that thing's big.

5
00:00:27,182 --> 00:00:30,054
Fry, is my colossal eye too big?

6
00:00:30,089 --> 00:00:32,256
No, it's what makes you you.

7
00:00:32,290 --> 00:00:35,992
But it's so round, so hideously round.

8
00:00:36,027 --> 00:00:38,761
Leela, listen, you're
the most beautiful woman

9
00:00:38,796 --> 00:00:40,096
I've ever known.

10
00:00:40,130 --> 00:00:42,832
Oh, so you only care about my looks?

11
00:00:42,866 --> 00:00:44,666
No, I... What?

12
00:00:44,701 --> 00:00:48,068
Finally, New New York got
a blast of class today

13
00:00:48,102 --> 00:00:51,937
as Nikolai, playboy ruler
of the robo-Hungarian empire,

14
00:00:51,972 --> 00:00:55,240
<i>arrived aboard his extravagant
caviar-powered yacht.</i>

15
00:00:55,275 --> 00:00:59,944
I am just a humble emperor
with a big, big crown.

16
00:00:59,979 --> 00:01:01,781
Of course I'm not planning
to steal that crown.

17
00:01:01,816 --> 00:01:03,216
What?

18
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:05,987
True, I've always dreamt
of being an emperor,

19
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:08,158
you know, for Halloween,
and then forever,

20
00:01:08,192 --> 00:01:11,161
but heisting those jewels
would be difficult.

21
00:01:11,195 --> 00:01:12,562
You'd be stupid to try.

22
00:01:12,597 --> 00:01:13,899
I'll need accomplices...

23
00:01:13,933 --> 00:01:16,568
A sexy vamp to distract
and tie up the guard...

24
00:01:16,603 --> 00:01:18,170
Never.
(Door closes)

25
00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:20,640
A claw man to slip
past the metal scanner

26
00:01:20,674 --> 00:01:22,208
and cut the alarm wires...

27
00:01:22,243 --> 00:01:25,948
Sorry, I'm set for life after that last job.

28
00:01:27,684 --> 00:01:29,652
(Chuckles smugly)

29
00:01:29,686 --> 00:01:31,054
And finally, a chump

30
00:01:31,088 --> 00:01:33,657
to be caught on video and later arrested.

31
00:01:33,691 --> 00:01:35,259
As I told you on sucker-punch day,

32
00:01:35,293 --> 00:01:37,228
I'm through being a chump.

33
00:01:37,262 --> 00:01:40,765
Of course, it would all require
split-second, robotic timing.

34
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,101
That's where I come in.

35
00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:45,638
You see, I own a watch.

36
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:47,874
There.

37
00:01:47,909 --> 00:01:50,878
This time I'm sure I've
fixed the mind-switcher.

38
00:01:50,912 --> 00:01:54,782
Good, I'm sick of cleaning up
those heaps of dead monkeys.

39
00:01:54,816 --> 00:01:57,085
But why would you want
your mind in a new body?

40
00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,088
Well, as a man enters his 18th decade,

41
00:02:00,122 --> 00:02:03,225
he thinks back on the mistakes
he's made in life.

42
00:02:03,259 --> 00:02:05,027
Like the heaps of dead monkeys?

43
00:02:05,062 --> 00:02:07,630
Science cannot move forward
without heaps.

44
00:02:07,664 --> 00:02:12,267
No, what I regret is the youth
I wasted playing it safe.

45
00:02:12,302 --> 00:02:15,170
I wasted my youth porking out.

46
00:02:15,204 --> 00:02:16,771
Yes, I remember.

47
00:02:16,806 --> 00:02:19,041
Would you please take that down?

48
00:02:19,075 --> 00:02:20,810
It's making me hungry.

49
00:02:20,845 --> 00:02:24,548
Funny, I could use
a little extra meat on my bones.

50
00:02:24,582 --> 00:02:26,050
Wait a second.

51
00:02:26,084 --> 00:02:29,821
If we switched bodies,
I could live life to the extreme

52
00:02:29,855 --> 00:02:32,824
and you could indulge
your demonic food lust.

53
00:02:32,859 --> 00:02:34,293
(Gasps) We're just the people

54
00:02:34,327 --> 00:02:37,229
this mind-switcher was made for by us.

55
00:02:39,232 --> 00:02:41,667
Wait, can I still change my mind?

56
00:02:41,701 --> 00:02:43,335
Let's find out.

57
00:02:49,776 --> 00:02:51,610
Amy's voice:
It didn't work, you doddering old...

58
00:02:51,645 --> 00:02:52,811
(Gasps)

59
00:02:52,846 --> 00:02:54,813
Professor's voice:
Ah, cartilage.

60
00:02:54,848 --> 00:02:57,816
Dude, I bid you a fond cowabunga.

61
00:02:57,850 --> 00:03:01,754
I'm off to laugh at the reaper.

62
00:03:03,757 --> 00:03:05,758
(Laughs)

63
00:03:05,793 --> 00:03:06,960
Yee-haw!

64
00:03:06,994 --> 00:03:08,161
Look out, world, here I...

65
00:03:08,195 --> 00:03:11,064
(Pained grunt)

66
00:03:13,101 --> 00:03:16,770
I'm sorry, Amy, but your
body's not up to the task.

67
00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:18,706
Also, I don't care for these boobs

68
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,708
flapping every which way.

69
00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:22,243
Now, quit your bologna-gargling

70
00:03:22,278 --> 00:03:25,046
and let's switch back
into our original bodies.

71
00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:26,648
Body-switching, eh?

72
00:03:26,682 --> 00:03:28,951
Mayhap the heist is back on.

73
00:03:28,986 --> 00:03:32,021
Who needs accomplices
if I can just use their bodies?

74
00:03:32,055 --> 00:03:34,056
(Beeping)

75
00:03:37,227 --> 00:03:39,796
Professor, what's not happening?

76
00:03:39,830 --> 00:03:41,664
Bad news, me.

77
00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:44,968
I failed to take into account
the cerebral immune response.

78
00:03:45,002 --> 00:03:46,670
You idiot!

79
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:49,006
Once two bodies have switched minds,

80
00:03:49,041 --> 00:03:51,275
they can never switch back.

81
00:03:53,112 --> 00:03:55,113
However, perhaps they can.

82
00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:57,783
Maybe we can swap back
using a third body

83
00:03:57,817 --> 00:04:00,185
for temporary storage space.

84
00:04:00,219 --> 00:04:03,055
I'm 60% storage space.

85
00:04:03,089 --> 00:04:05,290
Yeah, wha... I... Hmm?

86
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,528
Bender's voice:
Well, I'm off to the royal yacht

87
00:04:09,562 --> 00:04:10,729
for a quick seduce-and-snatch.

88
00:04:10,763 --> 00:04:12,698
See you.

89
00:04:12,732 --> 00:04:15,701
Professor's voice:
Now then, Amy, we'll simply switch bodies

90
00:04:15,735 --> 00:04:16,902
and then we'll, we'll...

91
00:04:16,936 --> 00:04:18,603
No, I'd be back

92
00:04:18,638 --> 00:04:21,740
in my body, but then you
and Bender would be switched,

93
00:04:21,775 --> 00:04:24,643
and the Amy and Bender bodies
can't trade minds again,

94
00:04:24,678 --> 00:04:26,278
since they just did.

95
00:04:26,313 --> 00:04:27,846
Amy's voice:
Oh, no.

96
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,882
Is it possible to get
everyone back to normal

97
00:04:29,916 --> 00:04:31,684
using four or more bodies?

98
00:04:31,718 --> 00:04:32,919
I'm not sure.

99
00:04:32,953 --> 00:04:37,724
I'm afraid we need to use... Math.

100
00:04:38,726 --> 00:04:41,728
(Crickets chirping)

101
00:04:43,098 --> 00:04:45,166
Bender's voice:
Stupid air-needing lungs.

102
00:04:46,201 --> 00:04:48,002
(Gasps) The crown jewels.

103
00:04:48,036 --> 00:04:49,670
Now I just have

104
00:04:49,704 --> 00:04:52,873
to locate the guard and
seduce him in... Four seconds?!

105
00:04:52,908 --> 00:04:54,075
Male voice:
Who goes there?

106
00:04:54,109 --> 00:04:56,777
Three, two, one.

107
00:04:56,812 --> 00:04:58,312
(Singsongy):
Hello, big boy.

108
00:04:58,346 --> 00:05:01,181
(Humming porn music)

109
00:05:01,216 --> 00:05:02,950
Silence. I am Basil,

110
00:05:02,984 --> 00:05:04,985
the Emperor's cousin
and Chief of his Royal Guard,

111
00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:06,720
and I shall not be seduced by a...

112
00:05:06,754 --> 00:05:07,921
(Grunts)

113
00:05:07,955 --> 00:05:09,255
I said...

114
00:05:09,290 --> 00:05:11,724
(Humming porn music)

115
00:05:11,759 --> 00:05:13,826
(Moaning)

116
00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:15,194
(Pained groaning)

117
00:05:15,228 --> 00:05:17,630
(Grumbling in Chinese)

118
00:05:17,664 --> 00:05:19,499
Professor, what's the matter?

119
00:05:19,533 --> 00:05:20,700
I'm Amy.

120
00:05:20,734 --> 00:05:22,735
The Professor and I switched bodies.

121
00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:26,638
- Oh, lord.
- All I wanted was to gorge myself a little,

122
00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:29,075
but I can't digest anything
with these false teeth

123
00:05:29,109 --> 00:05:31,143
and this hit-or-miss colon.

124
00:05:31,178 --> 00:05:33,279
At least you get
a senior discount at the movies.

125
00:05:33,313 --> 00:05:37,816
I hate paying $14 to see
Nicolas Cage solve things.

126
00:05:37,850 --> 00:05:41,186
If you want to save two dollars,
we could switch bodies.

127
00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:42,587
Hmm...

128
00:05:42,621 --> 00:05:44,289
We can always switch back, right?

129
00:05:44,323 --> 00:05:46,290
(Squeals)

130
00:05:48,827 --> 00:05:50,827
Hey, Leela.

131
00:05:50,862 --> 00:05:52,996
Mmm, what smells saturated?

132
00:05:53,030 --> 00:05:54,798
Amy's voice:
Deep-fried ice cream sandwich

133
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:57,033
wrapped in frosting and lightly baconed.

134
00:05:57,067 --> 00:06:00,170
Whoa, that sounds like something
Amy would say and eat.

135
00:06:00,204 --> 00:06:01,872
I am Amy.

136
00:06:01,906 --> 00:06:03,873
Leela and I used the Professor's
mind-switching machine.

137
00:06:03,908 --> 00:06:06,543
So Leela's in your body?

138
00:06:06,577 --> 00:06:08,012
Leela's voice:
Not exactly.

139
00:06:08,046 --> 00:06:12,483
<i>(Cringes)
See, you do only like me for my body.</i>

140
00:06:12,518 --> 00:06:15,120
That is entirely not true, sir.

141
00:06:15,154 --> 00:06:17,256
(Muffled protesting)

142
00:06:17,290 --> 00:06:19,658
Now to go switch bodies with Zoidberg,

143
00:06:19,692 --> 00:06:22,861
sneak past the metal detector,
and clip the alarm wires,

144
00:06:22,895 --> 00:06:25,730
all in less than... Ten minutes ago?!

145
00:06:25,765 --> 00:06:26,932
(Groans)

146
00:06:26,966 --> 00:06:30,102
(Sensor beeps, alarm blares)

147
00:06:32,705 --> 00:06:36,208
Uh, could you come back
when my chump gets here?

148
00:06:38,435 --> 00:06:39,936
Now then,

149
00:06:39,970 --> 00:06:42,738
What is a filthy human doing
aboard my royal yacht?

150
00:06:42,772 --> 00:06:46,208
With all due respect, your
majesty, I'm a robot like you.

151
00:06:46,242 --> 00:06:47,943
I just switched bodies with some bimbo.

152
00:06:47,978 --> 00:06:51,180
Go ahead, ask me something
only a robot would know.

153
00:06:51,215 --> 00:06:52,382
A reverse Turing test, eh?

154
00:06:52,416 --> 00:06:53,583
Very good.

155
00:06:53,617 --> 00:06:55,384
What is the square root of nine?

156
00:06:55,419 --> 00:06:58,188
Uh, hold on, let me just get out a pencil.

157
00:06:58,222 --> 00:07:00,790
(Sighs)
Okay, look, I'm not that kind of robot.

158
00:07:00,825 --> 00:07:02,559
I'm more this kind of robot.

159
00:07:02,593 --> 00:07:04,261
(Beatboxing)

160
00:07:04,296 --> 00:07:07,431
He steps forwards but moves backwards.

161
00:07:07,466 --> 00:07:10,401
By the gods, he is a machine.

162
00:07:10,435 --> 00:07:14,306
No, that won't restore everyone either.

163
00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:18,244
Besides, I don't want
my decrepit old body back.

164
00:07:18,278 --> 00:07:20,747
I'm running away
with this invincible robot body

165
00:07:20,781 --> 00:07:22,783
and joining something.

166
00:07:26,954 --> 00:07:30,890
Look, I paid for 15 robot clowns
per cubic meter of car,

167
00:07:30,924 --> 00:07:33,159
and you're barely giving me 12.

168
00:07:33,194 --> 00:07:35,194
Now, crumple up and get in...

169
00:07:35,229 --> 00:07:36,596
And fasten your seatbelts.

170
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,598
(Annoyed grumbling)

171
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,633
Good day.

172
00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:43,869
I am Nonchalanto the robot daredevil,

173
00:07:43,904 --> 00:07:46,471
and my dream is to risk my life

174
00:07:46,506 --> 00:07:49,341
in strange and original ways.

175
00:07:49,375 --> 00:07:51,943
Hmm, you don't look so foolhardy to me.

176
00:08:01,887 --> 00:08:03,554
(Applause)

177
00:08:03,588 --> 00:08:06,624
That's the dumbest thing
anybody's ever done.

178
00:08:06,659 --> 00:08:09,628
You're hired.

179
00:08:09,662 --> 00:08:12,331
(Crickets chirping)

180
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,400
So you're a common bending robot

181
00:08:14,435 --> 00:08:16,269
with a human peasant roommate?

182
00:08:16,303 --> 00:08:18,906
Oh, crap, that is what I am.

183
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:20,774
No, Bender, I envy you.

184
00:08:20,809 --> 00:08:22,910
I'm so bored with all these
pretentious trappings...

185
00:08:22,944 --> 00:08:26,247
The jewels, the parties,
the beautiful robo-women.

186
00:08:26,282 --> 00:08:27,448
Hello.

187
00:08:27,483 --> 00:08:29,584
(Moans)

188
00:08:29,618 --> 00:08:31,485
Ah, my fiancée princess Flavia.

189
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,254
Dearest, meet Bender.

190
00:08:33,288 --> 00:08:36,324
He's a robot in the body
of a Chinese Martian physicist.

191
00:08:36,359 --> 00:08:38,226
How tedious.

192
00:08:38,261 --> 00:08:41,864
Oh, to escape this gilded cage for a day.

193
00:08:41,898 --> 00:08:44,567
You know, we could trade bodies.

194
00:08:44,601 --> 00:08:46,803
I could take over the humdrum royal stuff,

195
00:08:46,837 --> 00:08:48,938
and you could be a regular Joe for a day.

196
00:08:48,972 --> 00:08:51,842
(Quietly):
Or more, much more.

197
00:08:51,876 --> 00:08:53,910
In that horrid non-robot body?

198
00:08:53,945 --> 00:08:56,179
Sir, I have my standards.

199
00:08:56,213 --> 00:08:57,714
Ah, but what if I could put you

200
00:08:57,748 --> 00:09:00,349
in my fabulous bending-robot body?

201
00:09:00,383 --> 00:09:01,550
(Titters)

202
00:09:01,585 --> 00:09:03,752
Me, posing as a lowly bending unit?

203
00:09:03,787 --> 00:09:05,687
How wicked.

204
00:09:05,721 --> 00:09:08,890
But wait, I'm supposed to give
a speech at the U.N. tomorrow.

205
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,625
Can I trust you to do it?

206
00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:13,595
You can trust anything.

207
00:09:16,832 --> 00:09:18,766
So now Leela's all
crotchety 'cause she thinks

208
00:09:18,801 --> 00:09:21,535
I'm not attracted to her
in the Professor's body.

209
00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:23,471
- You aren't, are you?
- Of course not,

210
00:09:23,505 --> 00:09:25,206
but I was willing to lie about it.

211
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,807
What more can a man do?

212
00:09:26,842 --> 00:09:29,310
A man can give her a toke
of her own medicine.

213
00:09:29,344 --> 00:09:32,280
Yes, I could put my mind
into a hideous body

214
00:09:32,315 --> 00:09:34,683
and show Leela
she's not attracted to me,

215
00:09:34,717 --> 00:09:39,255
but it would have to be a
really, really disgusting body.

216
00:09:39,289 --> 00:09:42,725
Friends, friends, I've got
barnacles on my tuchus.

217
00:09:42,759 --> 00:09:46,229
The long search is over.

218
00:09:46,263 --> 00:09:49,899
Wait here and earn interest
while I find my robot body.

219
00:09:50,934 --> 00:09:53,802
Professor?

220
00:09:53,837 --> 00:09:55,437
- Leela.
- Amy?

221
00:09:55,472 --> 00:09:57,205
- Bender.
- Have you seen my body?

222
00:09:57,239 --> 00:09:58,639
I think the Professor's in it.

223
00:09:58,674 --> 00:10:00,942
Yeah, he said something
about running away.

224
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:02,476
Then he ran away.

225
00:10:02,511 --> 00:10:03,744
What?! Whither?!

226
00:10:03,778 --> 00:10:06,380
(Drumroll)

227
00:10:15,589 --> 00:10:16,889
What am I going to do?

228
00:10:16,924 --> 00:10:18,892
I got an emperor all
patsied up to switch bodies,

229
00:10:18,926 --> 00:10:20,760
but only with another robot.

230
00:10:20,795 --> 00:10:22,562
Washbucket full.

231
00:10:22,596 --> 00:10:24,297
Scruffy's work here is done.

232
00:10:31,606 --> 00:10:32,973
(Chuckles slyly)

233
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,375
(Chuckling slyly in Bender's voice)

234
00:10:35,410 --> 00:10:37,811
Now to find
emperor Von Rochendoof.

235
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,813
Washbucket's voice:
Now to find Scruffy.

236
00:10:40,815 --> 00:10:42,783
Switch bodies?

237
00:10:42,817 --> 00:10:45,285
I don't see why not.

238
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:46,687
I also don't see why.

239
00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:48,222
(Beep, whirring)

240
00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:49,490
(Sneaky chuckle)

241
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,391
Fry's voice:
In your face, Leela.

242
00:10:51,426 --> 00:10:54,662
If you're a Bender, why is
your body full of fetid water?

243
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,598
Bender's voice:
If you're an emperor,
why don't you shut up?!

244
00:10:57,632 --> 00:11:00,234
Move it, Fry! Oh!

245
00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:02,336
Bender's voice:
Well, so long.

246
00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:05,205
Nikolai's voice:
Wait. Point me to my
normal human roommate!

247
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,606
That's him there...
Maybe.

248
00:11:06,641 --> 00:11:08,675
Got to go!

249
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,543
Zoidbergy's voice:
Robot?

250
00:11:10,577 --> 00:11:13,212
Nikolai's voice:
Yes, 'tis I... Bender.

251
00:11:13,246 --> 00:11:15,513
Do you not recognize your own best friend?

252
00:11:15,548 --> 00:11:18,750
Aha! The guy in this body has a friend!

253
00:11:18,784 --> 00:11:22,653
Bender, old pal, it's me, the Fry!

254
00:11:24,622 --> 00:11:26,490
Leela's voice:
But then Nicolas Cage discovered

255
00:11:26,524 --> 00:11:27,891
the real treasure was his family.

256
00:11:27,926 --> 00:11:29,360
Yes, I'll hold.

257
00:11:29,394 --> 00:11:30,694
(Hatch opens)

258
00:11:30,729 --> 00:11:32,296
Fry's voice:
Hey, Leela, look.

259
00:11:32,330 --> 00:11:33,531
I'm in Zoidberg!

260
00:11:33,565 --> 00:11:35,366
Fry?!

261
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,201
Oh, you're not so shallow

262
00:11:37,236 --> 00:11:41,239
that you find me repulsive
'cause of my body, are you?

263
00:11:41,273 --> 00:11:42,641
(Gagging)

264
00:11:42,675 --> 00:11:44,843
Not at all.
(Hatch opens)

265
00:11:47,948 --> 00:11:49,314
Amy?! Stop it!

266
00:11:49,349 --> 00:11:50,749
Fry, help!

267
00:11:50,783 --> 00:11:52,851
She's turning me into a parade float.

268
00:11:52,885 --> 00:11:54,552
Ew, look at her!

269
00:11:54,587 --> 00:11:56,588
(Snarling)

270
00:11:56,622 --> 00:11:59,358
Oh, so you're so shallow
that my body disgusts you

271
00:11:59,392 --> 00:12:01,527
if it puts on a little extra weight?

272
00:12:01,561 --> 00:12:03,562
That wasn't a little extra weight.

273
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:06,498
Admit it. You don't care
about the inner me at all.

274
00:12:06,532 --> 00:12:07,833
<i>No, you admit it!</i>

275
00:12:07,867 --> 00:12:09,701
You'd be ashamed to be seen in public

276
00:12:09,735 --> 00:12:11,202
with someone as hideous as me!

277
00:12:11,237 --> 00:12:12,670
- Would not!
- Oh, yeah?

278
00:12:12,705 --> 00:12:14,271
Then I challenge you

279
00:12:14,306 --> 00:12:16,940
to a romantic dinner at Elzar's tonight.

280
00:12:16,975 --> 00:12:20,243
It's on.

281
00:12:21,478 --> 00:12:23,713
(Hatch opens)

282
00:12:23,747 --> 00:12:25,547
Sweet orca of Majorca.

283
00:12:25,582 --> 00:12:27,917
You make fat Albert look
like normal Albert.

284
00:12:27,951 --> 00:12:29,685
Amy's voice:
I don't know what to do.

285
00:12:29,719 --> 00:12:31,320
Do you think I should eat more butter?

286
00:12:31,354 --> 00:12:33,489
I am putting a stop to this right now.

287
00:12:33,524 --> 00:12:35,191
Come on. We're switching bodies.

288
00:12:35,225 --> 00:12:36,392
Hermes, no!

289
00:12:36,426 --> 00:12:38,562
I'll ruin your body, too!

290
00:12:38,596 --> 00:12:42,365
Three decades of the munchies
beat you to it.

291
00:12:53,778 --> 00:12:56,313
(Saw whirring)

292
00:12:58,015 --> 00:12:59,682
(Gulps, explosion)

293
00:12:59,717 --> 00:13:02,252
Woman's voice:
You make quite a show, young man.

294
00:13:02,286 --> 00:13:04,788
You remind me of myself
as a young cannon.

295
00:13:04,822 --> 00:13:07,524
Big Bertha is the circus's Grande dame.

296
00:13:07,558 --> 00:13:09,793
She shoots robots through the air.

297
00:13:09,827 --> 00:13:11,294
(Belches) (Yelling)

298
00:13:11,328 --> 00:13:13,397
Oh, excuse me. Too much goulash.

299
00:13:13,431 --> 00:13:16,533
Professor's voice:
I've always wanted
to be shot out of something.

300
00:13:16,568 --> 00:13:18,736
How about a quick blast after lunch?

301
00:13:18,770 --> 00:13:22,406
Alas, a fine big one like you
would shatter my barrel.

302
00:13:22,441 --> 00:13:26,778
But, ah, to amaze the crowd once more.

303
00:13:26,812 --> 00:13:29,280
I understand the problems of age,

304
00:13:29,315 --> 00:13:32,217
but suppose I could put you in a new body?

305
00:13:32,251 --> 00:13:35,920
Never! My body may be old, but it is mine,

306
00:13:35,954 --> 00:13:39,457
and every crack, a memory of
heavy things shot a long way.

307
00:13:39,491 --> 00:13:40,991
Good day!

308
00:13:43,261 --> 00:13:45,796
(Crickets chirping)

309
00:13:45,830 --> 00:13:47,498
(Metal clinking)

310
00:13:47,532 --> 00:13:48,866
(Sighs)

311
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:50,635
I have everything I ever wanted...

312
00:13:50,669 --> 00:13:53,272
Money, wealth, riches.

313
00:13:53,306 --> 00:13:54,907
Yet something's missing.

314
00:13:54,941 --> 00:13:57,243
A hot princess with whom to get grizzly.

315
00:13:57,277 --> 00:13:58,578
Hello.

316
00:13:58,612 --> 00:14:00,380
Hello, baby!

317
00:14:00,414 --> 00:14:02,349
(Gun cocking) Huh?

318
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,484
Hey, what's going on here,
and why are you kissing

319
00:14:04,519 --> 00:14:05,886
my dashing cousin instead of me?

320
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,589
Nikolai, you imperial fool.

321
00:14:08,623 --> 00:14:11,359
We've been having an
affair for 700 years.

322
00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:13,361
At long last, I shall kill you,

323
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,496
blame the burglar, and inherit the throne.

324
00:14:15,530 --> 00:14:17,864
(Clinking)

325
00:14:22,198 --> 00:14:23,865
Farewell, Nikolai.

326
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,734
Wait. I'm not Nikolai!

327
00:14:25,768 --> 00:14:28,337
I'm Bender, the fabulous
body-switching burglar.

328
00:14:28,371 --> 00:14:31,040
(Beatboxing)

329
00:14:31,074 --> 00:14:32,442
So you are.

330
00:14:32,476 --> 00:14:34,243
However, you do have Nikolai's body,

331
00:14:34,278 --> 00:14:36,312
and that's the part we want to kill.

332
00:14:36,347 --> 00:14:38,215
(Motor revving)

333
00:14:41,252 --> 00:14:43,787
(Whimpering)

334
00:14:43,821 --> 00:14:45,355
Whoa! Whoa!

335
00:14:45,389 --> 00:14:47,190
(Laser gun whirring)

336
00:14:47,224 --> 00:14:50,125
(Piano playing)

337
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,827
Great food, huh?

338
00:14:51,861 --> 00:14:53,061
(Belches, people gasping )

339
00:14:53,096 --> 00:14:55,930
- Ew!
- I'm sorry, Leela.

340
00:14:55,965 --> 00:14:58,766
I hope that didn't make you
ashamed to be seen with me.

341
00:14:58,801 --> 00:15:00,135
Oh, my, no.

342
00:15:00,169 --> 00:15:01,136
It only makes you more attractive

343
00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:02,137
(Dentures clattering)

344
00:15:02,171 --> 00:15:03,405
(Patrons groaning)

345
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,440
Ew!

346
00:15:05,943 --> 00:15:09,279
Oh, did my bodily infirmity embarrass you?

347
00:15:09,313 --> 00:15:11,248
Not at all. It's just another thing

348
00:15:11,282 --> 00:15:13,417
that makes you a very special lady.

349
00:15:13,451 --> 00:15:14,919
You mean, like my penis?

350
00:15:14,953 --> 00:15:16,020
(Gags)

351
00:15:16,054 --> 00:15:17,054
Blech!

352
00:15:17,089 --> 00:15:18,990
- Yecch!
- Admit it.

353
00:15:19,024 --> 00:15:20,658
You're disgusted by me.

354
00:15:20,692 --> 00:15:22,726
No. You're disgusted by me!

355
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,894
I'm as attracted to you as I've ever been.

356
00:15:24,929 --> 00:15:26,997
Prove it!

357
00:15:27,031 --> 00:15:29,666
(Patrons yelling and groaning)

358
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:32,001
(Moaning)

359
00:15:33,870 --> 00:15:36,138
Well, Bender, here's our apartment

360
00:15:36,172 --> 00:15:38,273
that we live in every day.

361
00:15:38,308 --> 00:15:39,774
(Door squeaks open)

362
00:15:39,809 --> 00:15:41,109
A floor?

363
00:15:41,143 --> 00:15:42,878
We live like kings!

364
00:15:42,912 --> 00:15:44,379
Kings? Silence!

365
00:15:44,414 --> 00:15:46,315
Like you, I'm a common lout.

366
00:15:46,350 --> 00:15:48,050
Now fetch me some
working-class cognac

367
00:15:48,085 --> 00:15:50,319
from our brandy storeroom
that you know how to find.

368
00:15:50,354 --> 00:15:51,754
Uh...

369
00:15:57,729 --> 00:15:59,029
(Yells)

370
00:15:59,064 --> 00:16:00,698
Relax, Bender.

371
00:16:00,732 --> 00:16:03,033
I'll dry up that leak
with this heating box.

372
00:16:05,003 --> 00:16:06,403
(Gas hissing)

373
00:16:06,438 --> 00:16:07,871
Ah. Cigars.

374
00:16:07,906 --> 00:16:10,307
Light me up, old friend.

375
00:16:10,341 --> 00:16:12,842
(Lighter clicks, explosion)

376
00:16:14,078 --> 00:16:15,679
(Laser pistol firing)

377
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,447
(Panting)

378
00:16:21,051 --> 00:16:22,352
(Panting)

379
00:16:22,386 --> 00:16:23,987
There you are, emperor Nikolai.

380
00:16:24,022 --> 00:16:26,023
It's time for your speech to the U.N.

381
00:16:26,057 --> 00:16:28,426
A what now?

382
00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:29,961
(Grunting)

383
00:16:32,198 --> 00:16:33,865
Miss Wong?

384
00:16:33,899 --> 00:16:36,134
No, Scruffy, I am Washbucket.

385
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:37,703
I love you.

386
00:16:37,737 --> 00:16:40,172
Washbucket has always loved you.

387
00:16:40,206 --> 00:16:42,941
(Moaning)

388
00:16:42,976 --> 00:16:44,309
This is wrong, Washbucket.

389
00:16:44,344 --> 00:16:46,378
Oh, it would be sweet for a while,

390
00:16:46,412 --> 00:16:48,880
but in the back of our minds, we'd know

391
00:16:48,914 --> 00:16:51,416
that I'm a man, and you're
janitorial equipment.

392
00:16:51,450 --> 00:16:55,319
In another city,
we could be anyone we want!

393
00:16:55,353 --> 00:16:57,188
Go. Go now.

394
00:16:57,222 --> 00:16:58,856
Before I beg you to stay.

395
00:17:05,330 --> 00:17:07,631
(Crying)

396
00:17:07,666 --> 00:17:08,999
Yup.

397
00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:10,668
(Crowd murmuring)

398
00:17:10,702 --> 00:17:13,770
Please welcome an insane dictator

399
00:17:13,805 --> 00:17:18,041
and one heck of a bowler, emperor Nikolai!

400
00:17:18,075 --> 00:17:20,376
(Applause)

401
00:17:20,411 --> 00:17:22,646
Thanks, Nixon. How we doing?

402
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,013
Fembot:
I love you, your majesty!

403
00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:25,648
Shut up, madam ambassador.

404
00:17:25,683 --> 00:17:26,983
I know it.

405
00:17:27,018 --> 00:17:28,351
Anyhow...

406
00:17:28,386 --> 00:17:30,053
(Clears throat)

407
00:17:30,087 --> 00:17:32,790
I'd now like to digress
from my prepared remarks

408
00:17:32,824 --> 00:17:34,291
to say I'm done.

409
00:17:34,325 --> 00:17:36,126
(Applause)

410
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,696
Ladies and gentlemen,
this robot is an impostor!

411
00:17:39,731 --> 00:17:41,665
(All gasping)

412
00:17:41,699 --> 00:17:43,033
Oh!

413
00:17:43,068 --> 00:17:44,701
(Motor revving)

414
00:17:44,736 --> 00:17:46,670
I shall enjoy this.

415
00:17:46,704 --> 00:17:48,172
Not me!

416
00:17:48,206 --> 00:17:50,073
Oh, no!

417
00:17:50,108 --> 00:17:52,142
That devil, Basil, will kill our emperor.

418
00:17:52,177 --> 00:17:54,678
You're robo-Hungarian?

419
00:17:54,713 --> 00:17:58,115
Yes. Our nation's chief export is carnies.

420
00:17:58,149 --> 00:18:01,285
If only there were some way
I could get to the U.N. to help.

421
00:18:01,319 --> 00:18:02,787
Bertha:
There is.

422
00:18:02,821 --> 00:18:04,122
Get in, Nonchalanto.

423
00:18:04,156 --> 00:18:06,123
Bertha, no! It would kill you!

424
00:18:06,158 --> 00:18:09,127
I have not so much time left anyhow.

425
00:18:09,161 --> 00:18:10,895
But you could get a new body.

426
00:18:10,929 --> 00:18:13,297
You could have a rich, full life!

427
00:18:13,331 --> 00:18:17,067
<i>I am trying to have a rich, full life.</i>

428
00:18:22,173 --> 00:18:24,875
Long live robo-Hungary!

429
00:18:24,910 --> 00:18:27,211
(Groans)

430
00:18:27,245 --> 00:18:30,382
Oh!

431
00:18:30,416 --> 00:18:32,083
(Motor revving)

432
00:18:32,117 --> 00:18:33,417
Oh!

433
00:18:33,452 --> 00:18:34,852
Oh!

434
00:18:34,887 --> 00:18:36,821
Me! Thank God you've come!

435
00:18:36,856 --> 00:18:38,423
(Motor revving)

436
00:18:38,457 --> 00:18:42,694
This is for big Bertha! Wah!

437
00:18:42,729 --> 00:18:46,332
That is not what I meant
to give you for big Bertha.

438
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,135
(Sighs)

439
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,670
That was nice.

440
00:18:50,705 --> 00:18:52,206
Oh, yeah.

441
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,374
(Motor revving)

442
00:18:53,408 --> 00:18:54,742
(Both gasp)

443
00:18:58,414 --> 00:19:01,316
Hey, stop kicking me around!

444
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:09,857
Oh!

445
00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:11,258
Whoever you are,

446
00:19:11,293 --> 00:19:14,295
you're the bravest robot I've ever seen.

447
00:19:14,329 --> 00:19:16,297
I like killing brave things.

448
00:19:16,332 --> 00:19:19,668
Good, 'cause I've got 20 of them
per cubic meter.

449
00:19:19,702 --> 00:19:23,872
(Chainswords whirring,
dwarf robot clowns yelling)

450
00:19:23,907 --> 00:19:27,209
When I grow up, I want to be a diplomat!

451
00:19:31,047 --> 00:19:34,249
Well, if there's one thing
I've learned, it's a lesson.

452
00:19:34,283 --> 00:19:35,884
I believe this belongs to you.

453
00:19:37,387 --> 00:19:40,155
I shall sell it to help the common folk,

454
00:19:40,189 --> 00:19:41,923
now that I understand their misery.

455
00:19:41,957 --> 00:19:43,692
Yeah, good luck with that.

456
00:19:43,726 --> 00:19:46,895
I must say, Hermes,
you've got a smoking hot body.

457
00:19:46,929 --> 00:19:48,997
Hermes voice:
I was inspired by Amy.

458
00:19:49,032 --> 00:19:51,300
Wow! How'd you do it?

459
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:53,669
(With Amy's voice):
Well, there I was at Elzar's

460
00:19:53,704 --> 00:19:55,004
eating a nice pork sundae,

461
00:19:55,038 --> 00:19:57,340
and suddenly, I just lost my appetite.

462
00:19:57,374 --> 00:20:00,209
Forever.

463
00:20:00,244 --> 00:20:02,312
Q to the e to the d.

464
00:20:02,346 --> 00:20:03,880
So it is possible

465
00:20:03,915 --> 00:20:06,884
for us all to get back
to our original bodies?

466
00:20:06,918 --> 00:20:08,719
Stone-cold munchin', prof.

467
00:20:08,753 --> 00:20:11,755
Sweet Clyde, characterize
your inversion theorem.

468
00:20:11,789 --> 00:20:14,892
Basically, no matter
how permuted-up your minds are,

469
00:20:14,926 --> 00:20:18,996
they can be restored using,
at most, two extra players.

470
00:20:19,030 --> 00:20:23,466
And they say pure math
has no real-world applications!

471
00:20:23,501 --> 00:20:25,335
(Zapping)

472
00:20:29,940 --> 00:20:31,842
(All cheering)

473
00:20:31,876 --> 00:20:33,744
Everybody back in their zones?

474
00:20:33,778 --> 00:20:35,312
(All voicing assent)

475
00:20:35,346 --> 00:20:38,816
Ah, my body may be old, but it is mine.

476
00:20:38,851 --> 00:20:40,451
Brilliant work, Clyde!

477
00:20:40,485 --> 00:20:44,155
You'll win the NBA's highest
academic honor for this!

478
00:20:44,189 --> 00:20:46,858
Also, I'm making you a Duke.

479
00:20:46,892 --> 00:20:49,194
So long, filthy commoners!

480
00:20:49,228 --> 00:20:50,762
Adios.

481
00:20:50,797 --> 00:20:52,197
(Laughs)

482
00:20:52,232 --> 00:20:54,400
And I'm left with
the real jewels safely inside...

483
00:20:54,434 --> 00:20:57,036
<i>His compartment?! Oh!</i>

484
00:20:57,070 --> 00:20:59,939
<i>Bender: All right, listen up.
I'll need accomplices.</i>

485
00:21:00,258 --> 00:21:01,064
Sync by n17t01, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com

