1
00:00:00,969 --> 00:00:02,052
Tonight at 11:00...

2
00:00:02,137 --> 00:00:04,597
(SHOUTING)
Doom!

3
00:00:25,619 --> 00:00:27,953
Boy, that thing's big.

4
00:00:28,038 --> 00:00:30,372
Fry, is my colossal eye
too big?

5
00:00:30,624 --> 00:00:33,000
No, it's what
makes you you.

6
00:00:33,084 --> 00:00:36,337
But it's so round,
so hideously round.

7
00:00:36,421 --> 00:00:37,838
Leela, listen.

8
00:00:37,923 --> 00:00:40,841
You're the most
beautiful woman
I've ever known.

9
00:00:40,926 --> 00:00:43,344
Oh. So you only care
about my looks?

10
00:00:43,428 --> 00:00:44,929
No, I... What?

11
00:00:45,013 --> 00:00:48,432
Finally, New New York
got a blast of class today

12
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,269
as Nikolai, playboy ruler
of the Robo-Hungarian Empire,

13
00:00:52,354 --> 00:00:55,648
arrived aboard his extravagant
caviar-powered yacht.

14
00:00:55,732 --> 00:00:57,875
I am just
a humble emperor

15
00:00:57,984 --> 00:01:00,227
with a big, big crown!

16
00:01:00,529 --> 00:01:02,988
Of course I'm not planning
to steal that crown!

17
00:01:03,013 --> 00:01:04,486
- What?
- True.

18
00:01:04,491 --> 00:01:06,575
I've always dreamed
of being an emperor.

19
00:01:06,660 --> 00:01:08,994
You know, for Halloween,
and then forever.

20
00:01:09,079 --> 00:01:11,622
But heisting those jewels
would be difficult.

21
00:01:11,706 --> 00:01:13,207
You'd be stupid to try.

22
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,633
I'll need accomplices.

23
00:01:14,668 --> 00:01:17,239
A sexy vamp to distract
and tie up the guard.

24
00:01:17,254 --> 00:01:18,620
Never!

25
00:01:18,989 --> 00:01:23,107
A claw man to slip past the metal detector
and cut the alarm wires.

26
00:01:23,134 --> 00:01:26,720
Sorry, I'm set for life
after that last job.

27
00:01:30,018 --> 00:01:31,837
And finally, a chump,

28
00:01:31,851 --> 00:01:34,178
to be caught on video
and later arrested.

29
00:01:34,229 --> 00:01:36,205
As I told you on
Sucker-Punch Day,

30
00:01:36,219 --> 00:01:38,081
I'm through being a chump.

31
00:01:38,083 --> 00:01:41,318
Of course, it would all require
split-second robotic timing.

32
00:01:41,403 --> 00:01:44,863
That's where I come in.
You see, I own a watch.

33
00:01:47,701 --> 00:01:51,745
There. This time I'm sure
I've fixed the mind switcher.

34
00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:55,124
Good, I'm sick of
cleaning up those heaps
of dead monkeys.

35
00:01:55,208 --> 00:01:57,376
But why would you want
your mind in a new body?

36
00:01:57,586 --> 00:02:00,754
Well, as a man
enters his 18th decade,

37
00:02:00,839 --> 00:02:03,591
he thinks back
on the mistakes
he's made in life.

38
00:02:04,009 --> 00:02:05,426
Like the heaps
of dead monkeys?

39
00:02:05,677 --> 00:02:08,429
Science cannot move forward
without heaps!

40
00:02:08,513 --> 00:02:12,641
No, what I regret is the youth
I wasted playing it safe.

41
00:02:12,976 --> 00:02:15,519
I wasted my
youth porking out.

44
00:02:20,025 --> 00:02:21,275
It's making me hungry.

45
00:02:21,359 --> 00:02:25,029
Funny, I could use a little
extra meat on my bones.

46
00:02:25,530 --> 00:02:26,614
Wait a second!

47
00:02:26,698 --> 00:02:30,718
If we switched bodies,
I could live life to the extreme,

48
00:02:30,722 --> 00:02:33,303
and you could indulge
your demonic food lust.

49
00:02:33,371 --> 00:02:38,083
(GASPS) We're just the people
this mind switcher was made for by us!

50
00:02:40,295 --> 00:02:42,421
Wait, can I still
change my mind?

51
00:02:42,505 --> 00:02:43,714
Let's find out.

52
00:02:50,513 --> 00:02:53,640
(IN AMY'S VOICE)
It didn't work, you doddering old... (GASPS)

53
00:02:53,850 --> 00:02:55,743
(IN FARNSWORTH'S VOICE)
Ah! Cartilage!

54
00:02:55,757 --> 00:02:58,771
Dude, I bid you
a fond cowabunga.

55
00:02:58,855 --> 00:03:01,840
I'm off to laugh
at the Reaper.

56
00:03:04,778 --> 00:03:05,903
(WHOOPING)

57
00:03:07,113 --> 00:03:09,948
Look out, world,
here I... (GROANS)

58
00:03:13,995 --> 00:03:17,164
I'm sorry, Amy, but your body's
not up to the task.

59
00:03:17,415 --> 00:03:21,268
Also, I don't care for these boobs
flapping every which way.

60
00:03:21,282 --> 00:03:22,795
Now, quit your
bologna-gargling

61
00:03:22,879 --> 00:03:25,864
and let's switch back
into our original bodies.

62
00:03:25,965 --> 00:03:29,635
Body-switching, eh?
Mayhap the heist is back on.

63
00:03:29,719 --> 00:03:32,429
Who needs accomplices,
if I can just use their bodies?

64
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,224
(DEVICE BEEPING)

65
00:03:37,936 --> 00:03:40,329
Professor,
what's not happening?

66
00:03:40,397 --> 00:03:42,147
Bad news, me.

67
00:03:42,232 --> 00:03:45,734
I failed to take into account
the cerebral immune response.

68
00:03:45,819 --> 00:03:46,985
You idiot!

69
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,738
Once two bodies
have switched minds,

70
00:03:49,823 --> 00:03:52,449
they can never
switch back.

71
00:03:53,868 --> 00:03:55,619
However,
perhaps they can.

72
00:03:55,787 --> 00:04:00,680
Maybe we can swap back using
a third body for temporary storage space.

73
00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:03,743
I'm 60% storage space.

74
00:04:04,129 --> 00:04:06,130
You are?
I... Mmm?

75
00:04:09,134 --> 00:04:12,572
(IN BENDER'S VOICE)
Well, I'm off to the royal yacht
for a quick seduce-and-snatch.

76
00:04:12,595 --> 00:04:14,555
See you!
(IN FARNSWORTH'S VOICE)
Now, then, Amy

77
00:04:14,639 --> 00:04:17,182
we'll simply switch bodies,
and then we'll...

78
00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:18,267
We'll...

79
00:04:18,351 --> 00:04:20,519
No, I'd be back
in my body,

80
00:04:20,603 --> 00:04:22,521
but then you and Bender
would be switched.

81
00:04:22,605 --> 00:04:27,100
And the Amy and Bender bodies
can't trade minds again,
since they just did.

82
00:04:27,152 --> 00:04:28,402
Oh, no!

83
00:04:28,486 --> 00:04:32,228
Is it possible to get everyone back
to normal using four or more bodies?

84
00:04:32,323 --> 00:04:33,449
I'm not sure.

85
00:04:33,533 --> 00:04:35,892
I'm afraid we need to use

86
00:04:36,119 --> 00:04:37,561
math.

87
00:04:44,127 --> 00:04:45,669
Stupid air-needing lungs.

88
00:04:47,213 --> 00:04:49,256
(GASPS) The crown jewels.

89
00:04:49,340 --> 00:04:52,617
Now I just have to locate the guard
and seduce him in...

90
00:04:52,844 --> 00:04:53,969
Four seconds?

91
00:04:54,095 --> 00:04:55,220
GUARD: Who goes there?

92
00:04:55,305 --> 00:04:57,222
Three, two, one.

93
00:04:57,515 --> 00:04:59,433
(IN FEMALE VOICE)
Hello, big boy.

94
00:04:59,517 --> 00:05:01,359
(IMITATING EROTIC MUSIC)

95
00:05:01,936 --> 00:05:03,771
Silence!
I am Basil,

96
00:05:03,855 --> 00:05:06,231
the Emperor's cousin
and chief of his royal guard.

97
00:05:06,316 --> 00:05:08,792
And I shall not
be seduced by a...

98
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:10,444
I said...

99
00:05:10,528 --> 00:05:12,196
(IMITATING EROTIC MUSIC)

100
00:05:15,450 --> 00:05:16,450
(GROANING)

101
00:05:16,534 --> 00:05:18,160
(MUTTERING)

102
00:05:18,244 --> 00:05:20,270
Professor?
What's the matter?

103
00:05:20,305 --> 00:05:23,532
I'm Amy.
The Professor and I switched bodies.

104
00:05:23,558 --> 00:05:24,528
Oh, lord.

105
00:05:24,542 --> 00:05:27,294
All I wanted was to
gorge myself a little,

106
00:05:27,378 --> 00:05:31,843
but I can't digest anything with
these false teeth and this hit-or-miss colon.

107
00:05:31,925 --> 00:05:34,343
At least you get a senior discount
at the movies.

108
00:05:34,427 --> 00:05:38,639
I hate paying $14 to see
Nicolas Cage solve things.

109
00:05:38,723 --> 00:05:42,350
If you want to save $2,
we could switch bodies.

110
00:05:42,368 --> 00:05:45,420
Hmm. We can always
switch back, right?

111
00:05:45,897 --> 00:05:47,064
(GIGGLES INNOCENTLY)

112
00:05:50,902 --> 00:05:51,902
Hey, Leela.

113
00:05:51,986 --> 00:05:54,029
Mmm.
What smells saturated?

114
00:05:54,113 --> 00:05:57,741
Deep-fried ice cream sandwich
wrapped in frosting and lightly baconed.

115
00:05:57,951 --> 00:06:01,044
Whoa. That sounds like something
Amy would say and eat.

116
00:06:01,057 --> 00:06:04,540
I am Amy. Leela and I used the Professor's
mind-switching machine.

117
00:06:04,833 --> 00:06:07,625
So Leela's
in your body?

118
00:06:07,752 --> 00:06:09,294
(IN LEELA'S VOICE)
Not exactly.

119
00:06:09,362 --> 00:06:09,962
(EXCLAIMS IN FEAR)

120
00:06:10,171 --> 00:06:13,265
Aha! You do only
like me for my body!

121
00:06:13,383 --> 00:06:16,017
That is entirely
not true, sir!

122
00:06:16,094 --> 00:06:17,553
(MUFFLED GROANS)

123
00:06:18,471 --> 00:06:22,224
Now to go switch bodies with Zoidberg,
sneak past the metal detector

124
00:06:22,308 --> 00:06:25,143
and clip the alarm wires,
all in less than...

125
00:06:25,228 --> 00:06:27,846
Ten minutes ago? Oh!

126
00:06:28,022 --> 00:06:29,064
(BEEPING)

127
00:06:29,148 --> 00:06:30,566
(ALARM SOUNDING)

128
00:06:34,237 --> 00:06:37,497
Uh, could you come back
when my chump gets here?

129
00:06:41,411 --> 00:06:44,913
Now, then,
what is a filthy human doing
aboard my royal yacht?

130
00:06:44,998 --> 00:06:48,292
With all due respect, Your Majesty,
I'm a robot like you.

131
00:06:48,376 --> 00:06:50,502
I just switched bodies
with some bimbo.

132
00:06:50,587 --> 00:06:53,171
Go ahead, ask me something
only a robot would know.

133
00:06:53,256 --> 00:06:55,799
A reverse Turing Test, eh?
Very good.

134
00:06:55,967 --> 00:06:57,384
What is the square root
of nine?

135
00:06:57,468 --> 00:06:59,970
Uh, hold on, let me
just get out a pencil.

136
00:07:00,597 --> 00:07:04,808
(SIGHS) Okay, look,
I'm not that kind of robot.
I'm more this kind of robot.

137
00:07:04,934 --> 00:07:06,560
(BEAT BOXING)

138
00:07:06,895 --> 00:07:09,813
He steps forwards
but moves backwards.

139
00:07:09,898 --> 00:07:12,149
By the gods!
He is a machine!

140
00:07:13,902 --> 00:07:16,653
No, that won't
restore everyone, either.

141
00:07:16,738 --> 00:07:20,324
Besides, I don't want
my decrepit old body back!

142
00:07:20,408 --> 00:07:25,095
I'm running away with this invincible
robot body and joining something.

143
00:07:29,542 --> 00:07:33,503
Look, I paid for 15 robot clowns
per cubic meter of car,

144
00:07:33,588 --> 00:07:37,629
and you're barely giving me 12.
Now, crumple up and get in...

145
00:07:37,634 --> 00:07:39,092
And fasten your seatbelts.

146
00:07:39,177 --> 00:07:41,202
(ALL GROANING)
Come on!

147
00:07:41,846 --> 00:07:43,013
Good day.

148
00:07:43,097 --> 00:07:46,433
I am Nonchalanto,
the robot daredevil.

149
00:07:46,517 --> 00:07:51,580
And my dream is to risk my life
in strange and original ways.

150
00:07:51,606 --> 00:07:54,407
Hmm. You don't look
so foolhardy to me.

151
00:08:04,577 --> 00:08:05,786
(APPLAUSE)

152
00:08:06,329 --> 00:08:08,830
That's the dumbest thing
anybody's ever done.

153
00:08:09,207 --> 00:08:10,457
You're hired!

154
00:08:14,579 --> 00:08:18,572
So you're a common bending robot,
with a human peasant roommate?

155
00:08:18,508 --> 00:08:21,134
Oh, crap,
that is what I am!

156
00:08:21,219 --> 00:08:23,178
No, Bender, I envy you.

157
00:08:23,262 --> 00:08:25,555
I'm so bored with all these
pretentious trappings.

158
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,808
The jewels, the parties,
the beautiful robo-women.

159
00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:30,259
Hello.

160
00:08:31,896 --> 00:08:34,539
(SCOFFS) My fiancée,
Princess Flavia.

161
00:08:34,691 --> 00:08:38,643
Dearest, meet Bender.
He's a robot in the body of
a Chinese Martian physicist.

162
00:08:38,695 --> 00:08:40,570
How tedious.

163
00:08:40,738 --> 00:08:44,116
Oh, to escape this
gilded cage for a day.

164
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,160
You know,
we could trade bodies.

165
00:08:47,245 --> 00:08:49,287
I could take over
the humdrum royal stuff,

166
00:08:49,372 --> 00:08:51,681
and you could be
a regular Joe for a day.

167
00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:54,209
Or more. Much more.

168
00:08:54,293 --> 00:08:58,496
In that horrid non-robot body?
Sir, I have my standards.

169
00:08:58,506 --> 00:09:02,751
Ah, but what if I could put you in
my fabulous bending-robot body?

170
00:09:02,844 --> 00:09:06,630
(GIGGLES) Me, posing
as a lowly bending unit?

171
00:09:06,681 --> 00:09:08,148
How wicked!

172
00:09:08,307 --> 00:09:11,601
But wait, I'm supposed
to give a speech at the U.N. tomorrow.

173
00:09:11,636 --> 00:09:13,220
Can I trust you to do it?

174
00:09:13,246 --> 00:09:15,379
You can trust anything.

175
00:09:19,177 --> 00:09:20,877
So now Leela's
all crotchety

176
00:09:20,892 --> 00:09:24,022
because she thinks I'm not attracted to her
in the Professor's body.

177
00:09:24,032 --> 00:09:26,019
- You aren't, are you?
- Of course not!

178
00:09:26,034 --> 00:09:29,211
But I was willing to lie about it.
What more can a man do?

179
00:09:29,245 --> 00:09:31,780
A man can give her a toke
of her own medicine.

180
00:09:31,831 --> 00:09:34,708
Yes! I could put my mind
into a hideous body

181
00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:37,202
and show Leela
she's not attracted to me.

182
00:09:37,378 --> 00:09:41,498
But it would have to be a really,
really disgusting body.

183
00:09:41,632 --> 00:09:45,669
Friends! Friends!
I've got barnacles on my tuchus.

184
00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:48,538
The long search is over.

185
00:09:48,765 --> 00:09:52,550
Wait here and earn interest
while I find my robot body.

186
00:09:55,354 --> 00:09:56,354
Professor?

187
00:09:56,389 --> 00:09:57,781
Leela. Amy?

188
00:09:57,815 --> 00:10:01,166
Bender.  Have you seen my body?
I think the Professor's in it.

189
00:10:01,182 --> 00:10:03,828
Yeah, he said something
about running away.

190
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:06,263
- Then he ran away.
- What? Whither?

191
00:10:17,902 --> 00:10:19,144
What am I gonna do?

192
00:10:19,158 --> 00:10:21,588
I got an emperor all patsied up
to switch bodies,

193
00:10:21,592 --> 00:10:23,423
but only with
another robot!

194
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,133
Washbucket full.

195
00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:27,068
Scruffy's work here is done.

196
00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:35,602
(CHUCKLING)

197
00:10:35,686 --> 00:10:37,771
(CACKLING)

198
00:10:37,855 --> 00:10:40,398
(IN BENDER'S VOICE)
Now to find Emperor
Von Richendoof.

199
00:10:40,483 --> 00:10:42,425
Now to find Scruffy.

200
00:10:44,195 --> 00:10:47,238
Switch bodies?
I don't see why not.

201
00:10:47,532 --> 00:10:49,799
I also don't see why.

202
00:10:50,368 --> 00:10:51,660
(CHUCKLING)

203
00:10:51,744 --> 00:10:53,328
(IN FRY'S VOICE)
In your face, Leela.

204
00:10:53,563 --> 00:10:57,764
If you're a bender,
why is your body full of fetid water?

205
00:10:57,808 --> 00:11:00,068
If you're an emperor,
why don't you shut up?

206
00:11:00,084 --> 00:11:01,428
Move it, Fry!

207
00:11:03,681 --> 00:11:05,682
- Well, so long.
- Wait!

208
00:11:05,716 --> 00:11:07,550
Point me to my normal
human roommate!

209
00:11:07,585 --> 00:11:10,927
That's him there.  Maybe.
Got to go!

210
00:11:11,356 --> 00:11:12,906
(IN DR. ZOIDBERG'S VOICE)
Robot?

211
00:11:12,932 --> 00:11:15,392
Yes, 'tis I, Bender.

212
00:11:15,476 --> 00:11:17,786
Do you not recognize
your own best friend?

213
00:11:17,895 --> 00:11:21,030
Aha! The guy in this body
has a friend!

214
00:11:21,107 --> 00:11:25,034
Bender, old pal!
It's me, the Fry!

215
00:11:27,071 --> 00:11:30,974
But then Nicolas Cage discovered
the real treasure was his family.

216
00:11:31,075 --> 00:11:32,609
Yes, I'll hold.

217
00:11:33,411 --> 00:11:36,162
Hey, Leela, look!
I'm in Zoidberg!

218
00:11:36,706 --> 00:11:37,706
Fry?

219
00:11:37,790 --> 00:11:42,618
You're not so shallow
that you find me repulsive
because of my body, are you?

220
00:11:43,546 --> 00:11:44,629
(CHOKES)

221
00:11:44,922 --> 00:11:46,256
Not at all.

222
00:11:50,261 --> 00:11:51,845
Amy? Stop it!

223
00:11:51,929 --> 00:11:55,398
Fry, help! She's turning me
into a parade float.

224
00:11:55,411 --> 00:11:57,250
Ew! Look at her!

225
00:11:57,334 --> 00:11:57,934
(GROWLS)

226
00:11:58,686 --> 00:12:02,163
Oh. So you're so shallow
that my body disgusts you

227
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:03,999
if it puts on
a little extra weight?

228
00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:06,017
That wasn't
a little extra weight.

229
00:12:06,032 --> 00:12:08,995
Admit it!  You don't care
about the inner me at all!

230
00:12:09,039 --> 00:12:10,371
No, you admit it!

231
00:12:10,386 --> 00:12:13,681
You'd be ashamed to be seen in public
with someone as hideous as me!

232
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,427
- Would not!
- Oh, yeah?

233
00:12:15,451 --> 00:12:19,039
Then I challenge you to a romantic
dinner at Elzar's tonight.

234
00:12:19,123 --> 00:12:20,540
It's on.

235
00:12:25,004 --> 00:12:26,004
(DOOR OPENS)

236
00:12:26,055 --> 00:12:27,881
Sweet orca of Majorca!

237
00:12:27,965 --> 00:12:30,333
You make Fat Albert look
like Normal Albert!

238
00:12:30,384 --> 00:12:31,818
I don't know what to do.

239
00:12:31,822 --> 00:12:33,653
Do you think
I should eat more butter?

240
00:12:33,658 --> 00:12:35,897
I am putting a stop
to this right now!

241
00:12:35,911 --> 00:12:37,727
Come on.
We're switching bodies.

242
00:12:37,742 --> 00:12:41,236
Hermes, no!
I'll ruin your body, too!

243
00:12:41,796 --> 00:12:44,964
Three decades of the munchies
beat you to it.

244
00:13:02,541 --> 00:13:04,584
BIG BERTHA: You make
quite a show, young man.

245
00:13:04,669 --> 00:13:07,337
You remind me of myself
as a young cannon.

246
00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:10,006
Big Bertha is
the circus's grande dame.

247
00:13:10,091 --> 00:13:12,292
She shoots robots
through the air.

248
00:13:12,343 --> 00:13:13,426
(BELCHES)

249
00:13:13,678 --> 00:13:16,031
Excuse me.
Too much goulash.

250
00:13:16,055 --> 00:13:18,682
I've always wanted
to be shot out of something.

251
00:13:18,766 --> 00:13:21,101
How about a quick blast
after lunch?

252
00:13:21,269 --> 00:13:25,480
Alas, a fine big one like you
would shatter my barrel.

253
00:13:25,564 --> 00:13:29,242
But, ah, to amaze
the crowd once more.

254
00:13:29,318 --> 00:13:32,112
I understand
the problems of age,

255
00:13:32,196 --> 00:13:34,689
but suppose I could
put you in a new body?

256
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:38,451
Never! My body may be old,
but it is mine,

257
00:13:38,536 --> 00:13:42,572
and every crack a memory
of heavy things shot a long way.

258
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,157
Good day!

259
00:13:48,921 --> 00:13:49,963
(JEWELS CLATTERING)

260
00:13:50,047 --> 00:13:51,089
(SIGHS)

261
00:13:51,173 --> 00:13:55,502
I have everything I ever wanted.
Money, wealth, riches.

262
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,262
Yet something's missing.

263
00:13:57,388 --> 00:13:59,556
A hot princess with
whom to get grizzly.

264
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,684
- Hello.
- Hello, baby!

265
00:14:03,644 --> 00:14:05,812
Huh? Hey,
what's going on here?

266
00:14:05,896 --> 00:14:08,773
And why are you kissing
my dashing cousin instead of me?

267
00:14:08,858 --> 00:14:10,984
Nikolai,
you imperial fool.

268
00:14:11,068 --> 00:14:13,870
We've been having
an affair for 700 years.

269
00:14:13,904 --> 00:14:17,006
At long last, I shall kill you,
blame the burglar

270
00:14:17,091 --> 00:14:19,125
and inherit the throne.

271
00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:28,001
Farewell, Nikolai.

272
00:14:28,085 --> 00:14:29,669
Wait! I'm not Nikolai!

273
00:14:29,754 --> 00:14:32,989
I'm Bender,
the fabulous body-switching burglar.

274
00:14:35,509 --> 00:14:38,695
So you are.
However, you do have Nikolai's body,

275
00:14:38,679 --> 00:14:40,838
and that's the part
we want to kill.

276
00:14:41,098 --> 00:14:42,098
(MOTOR RUNNING)

277
00:14:54,570 --> 00:14:56,153
Great food, huh?

278
00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:57,030
(BURPS)

279
00:14:57,114 --> 00:14:58,239
(ALL GROANING)
Ew!

280
00:14:58,366 --> 00:14:59,866
I'm sorry, Leela.

281
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,860
I hope that didn't make you
ashamed to be seen with me.

282
00:15:02,912 --> 00:15:06,222
No, it only makes
you more attractive.

283
00:15:06,791 --> 00:15:08,575
(PEOPLE GASPING)
Ew!

284
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:13,279
Oh! Did my bodily
infirmity embarrass you?

285
00:15:13,314 --> 00:15:17,667
Not at all.  It's just another thing
that makes you a very special lady.

286
00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:19,502
You mean, like my penis?

287
00:15:21,697 --> 00:15:24,140
Admit it!
You're disgusted by me!

288
00:15:24,285 --> 00:15:26,684
No,
you're disgusted by me!

289
00:15:26,769 --> 00:15:29,037
I'm as attracted to
you as I've ever been!

290
00:15:29,051 --> 00:15:30,405
Prove it!

291
00:15:31,816 --> 00:15:33,233
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

292
00:15:38,155 --> 00:15:42,558
Well, Bender, here's our apartment
that we live in every day.

293
00:15:43,744 --> 00:15:46,963
A floor?
We live like kings!

294
00:15:46,997 --> 00:15:48,206
Kings? Silence!

295
00:15:48,541 --> 00:15:50,308
Like you, I'm a common lout.

296
00:15:50,318 --> 00:15:52,225
Now fetch me some
working-class cognac

297
00:15:52,269 --> 00:15:54,829
from our brandy storeroom
that you know how to find.

298
00:15:54,843 --> 00:15:55,913
Uh...

299
00:16:02,054 --> 00:16:03,096
(SCREAMS)

300
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:04,431
Relax, Bender.

301
00:16:04,515 --> 00:16:07,216
I'll dry up that leak
with this heating box.

302
00:16:08,144 --> 00:16:09,602
(GAS LEAKING)

303
00:16:10,855 --> 00:16:14,006
Ah, cigars.
Light me up, old friend.

304
00:16:19,363 --> 00:16:20,530
(PANTING)

305
00:16:26,245 --> 00:16:27,912
There you are,
Emperor Nikolai.

306
00:16:28,038 --> 00:16:30,147
It's time for your
speech to the U.N.

307
00:16:30,207 --> 00:16:31,991
What now?

308
00:16:33,043 --> 00:16:34,043
(SCREAMS)

309
00:16:36,989 --> 00:16:38,189
Miss Wong?

310
00:16:38,194 --> 00:16:40,508
No, Scruffy,
I am Washbucket.

311
00:16:40,593 --> 00:16:44,512
I love you. Washbucket
has always loved you.

312
00:16:46,941 --> 00:16:48,891
This is wrong, Washbucket.

313
00:16:48,909 --> 00:16:51,060
Oh, it would be
sweet for a while,

314
00:16:51,145 --> 00:16:53,915
but in the back of our minds,
we'd know that I'm a man

315
00:16:53,939 --> 00:16:55,698
and you're
janitorial equipment.

316
00:16:55,711 --> 00:16:59,227
In another city,
we could be anyone we want!

317
00:16:59,470 --> 00:17:01,337
Go. Go now,

318
00:17:01,405 --> 00:17:03,364
before I beg you to stay.

319
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,289
(CRYING)

320
00:17:12,082 --> 00:17:13,082
Yep.

321
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:20,189
Please welcome an insane dictator,
and one heck of a bowler,

322
00:17:20,274 --> 00:17:22,775
Emperor Nikolai!

323
00:17:25,137 --> 00:17:26,930
Thanks, Nixon.
How we doing?

324
00:17:27,014 --> 00:17:28,765
WOMAN: I love you,
Your Majesty!

325
00:17:28,849 --> 00:17:31,234
Shut up, Madame Ambassador!
I know it!

326
00:17:31,247 --> 00:17:32,510
Anyhow,

327
00:17:32,394 --> 00:17:33,770
(CLEARING THROAT)

328
00:17:34,271 --> 00:17:37,190
I'd now like to digress
from my prepared remarks

329
00:17:37,274 --> 00:17:38,525
to say I'm done!

330
00:17:38,609 --> 00:17:39,943
(ALL CHEERING)

331
00:17:41,070 --> 00:17:43,863
Ladies and gentlemen,
this robot is an impostor!

332
00:17:43,948 --> 00:17:45,198
(ALL GASPING)

333
00:17:46,242 --> 00:17:47,325
(EXCLAIMS)

334
00:17:48,827 --> 00:17:50,862
I shall enjoy this.

335
00:17:50,955 --> 00:17:52,372
Not me!

336
00:17:53,958 --> 00:17:56,417
That devil, Basil,
will kill our emperor.

337
00:17:56,502 --> 00:17:58,795
You're Robo-Hungarian?

338
00:17:58,879 --> 00:18:02,215
Yes. Our nation's
chief export is carnies.

339
00:18:02,299 --> 00:18:05,693
If only there were some way
I could get to the U.N. to help.

340
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:08,489
There is.
Get in, Nonchalanto.

341
00:18:08,514 --> 00:18:10,557
Bertha, no!
It would kill you!

342
00:18:10,641 --> 00:18:13,434
I have not so much
time left anyhow.

343
00:18:13,519 --> 00:18:17,564
But you could get a new body!
You could have a rich, full life!

344
00:18:17,648 --> 00:18:21,467
I am trying to have
a rich, full life!

345
00:18:26,949 --> 00:18:29,508
Long live Robo-Hungary!

346
00:18:29,994 --> 00:18:31,160
(GROANING)

347
00:18:31,704 --> 00:18:32,996
(SCREAMING)

348
00:18:39,028 --> 00:18:41,520
Me!
Thank God you've come!

349
00:18:43,382 --> 00:18:46,217
This is for Big Bertha!

350
00:18:47,428 --> 00:18:50,579
That is not what I meant
to give you for Big Bertha.

351
00:18:52,433 --> 00:18:54,759
(SIGHS) That was nice.

352
00:18:54,810 --> 00:18:56,377
Oh, yeah.

353
00:18:57,855 --> 00:18:58,855
(BOTH GASP)

354
00:19:03,152 --> 00:19:04,485
Ow! Ow!
(SCREAMS)

355
00:19:04,570 --> 00:19:05,570
(SHATTERS)

356
00:19:12,870 --> 00:19:14,037
(EXCLAIMS)

357
00:19:14,705 --> 00:19:18,207
Whoever you are, you're
the bravest robot I've ever seen.

358
00:19:18,834 --> 00:19:20,718
I like killing brave things.

359
00:19:20,721 --> 00:19:24,321
Good!  Because I've got 20
of them per cubic meter.

360
00:19:28,719 --> 00:19:31,662
When I grow up,
I want to be a diplomat!

361
00:19:35,559 --> 00:19:38,619
Well, if there's one thing
I've learned, it's a lesson.

362
00:19:38,624 --> 00:19:40,621
I believe this
belongs to you.

363
00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:46,689
I shall sell it to help the common folk,
now that I understand their misery.

364
00:19:46,737 --> 00:19:48,304
Yeah, good luck with that.

365
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:51,384
I must say, Hermes,
you've got a smoking-hot body.

366
00:19:51,408 --> 00:19:53,484
(IN HERMES'S VOICE)
I was inspired by Amy.

367
00:19:53,994 --> 00:19:56,412
- Wow! How'd you do it?
- Well...

368
00:19:56,497 --> 00:19:59,559
there I was at Elzar's,
eating a nice pork sundae,

369
00:19:59,583 --> 00:20:02,084
and suddenly,
I just lost my appetite.

370
00:20:03,253 --> 00:20:04,553
Forever.

371
00:20:04,797 --> 00:20:06,922
Q to the E to the D!

372
00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:11,237
So it is possible for us all
to get back to our original bodies?

373
00:20:11,261 --> 00:20:13,172
Stone-cold munching, Prof.

374
00:20:13,197 --> 00:20:16,232
Sweet Clyde, characterize
your inversion theorem.

375
00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:19,410
Basically, no matter how
permuted-up your minds are,

376
00:20:19,425 --> 00:20:22,980
they can be restored using,
at most, two extra players.

377
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:27,894
And they say pure math
has no real-world applications!

378
00:20:34,243 --> 00:20:35,535
(ALL CHEERING)

379
00:20:36,228 --> 00:20:38,045
Everybody back
in their zones?

380
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,555
Yes sir!
Yes!

381
00:20:39,748 --> 00:20:43,592
Ah! My body may be old,
but it is mine.

382
00:20:43,627 --> 00:20:45,144
Brilliant work, Clyde!

383
00:20:45,169 --> 00:20:48,898
You'll win the NBA's highest
academic honor for this.

384
00:20:48,912 --> 00:20:51,017
Also,
I'm making you a duke.

385
00:20:51,135 --> 00:20:54,385
- So long, filthy commoners!
- Adiós!

386
00:20:54,430 --> 00:20:55,638
(CHUCKLES)

387
00:20:55,723 --> 00:20:58,591
And I'm left with the real jewels
safely inside...

388
00:20:58,726 --> 00:21:01,235
His compartment?
(GROANS)

389
00:21:01,862 --> 00:21:04,580
All right.
I'll need accomplices.

390
00:21:35,846 --> 00:21:36,846
ENGLISH - US - PSDH