1
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Tonight at 11:00...
2
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Doom!
3
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Boy, that thing's big.
4
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Fry, is my colossal eye too big?
5
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- No, it's what makes you you.
- But it's so round, so hideously round.
6
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Leela, listen.
7
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You're the most beautiful woman
I've ever known.
8
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- Oh. So you only care about my looks?
- No, I... What?
9
00:00:46,039 --> 00:00:49,406
Finally, New New York
got a blast of class today
10
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as Nikolai, playboy ruler
of the Robo-Hungarian Empire,
11
00:00:53,379 --> 00:00:56,644
arrived aboard
his extravagant caviar-powered yacht.
12
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I am just a humble emperor
with a big, big crown!
13
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Of course I'm not planning
to steal that crown!
14
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- What?
- True.
15
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I've always dreamed of being an emperor.
16
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You know, for Halloween, and then forever.
17
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But heisting those jewels would be difficult.
18
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- You'd be stupid to try.
- I'll need accomplices.
19
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A sexy vamp
to distract and tie up the guard.
20
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Never!
21
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A claw man to slip past the metal detector
and cut the alarm wires.
22
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Sorry, I'm set for life after that last job.
23
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And finally, a chump,
to be caught on video and later arrested.
24
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As I told you on Sucker-Punch Day,
I'm through being a chump.
25
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Of course, it would all require
split-second robotic timing.
26
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That's where I come in.
You see, I own a watch.
27
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There. This time I'm sure
I've fixed the mind switcher.
28
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Good, I'm sick of cleaning up
those heaps of dead monkeys.
29
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But why would you want
your mind in a new body?
30
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Well, as a man enters his 18th decade,
31
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he thinks back
on the mistakes he's made in life.
32
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Like the heaps of dead monkeys?
33
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Science cannot move forward
without heaps!
34
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No, what I regret
is the youth I wasted playing it safe.
35
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- I wasted my youth porking out.
- Yes, I remember.
36
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Would you please take that down?
It's making me hungry.
37
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Funny, I could use a little extra meat
on my bones.
38
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Wait a second! If we switched bodies,
I could live life to the extreme,
39
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and you could indulge
your demonic food lust.
40
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We're just the people
this mind switcher was made for by us!
41
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- Wait, can I still change my mind?
- Let's find out.
42
00:02:51,541 --> 00:02:54,135
It didn't work,
you doddering old...
43
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Ah! Cartilage!
44
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Dude, I bid you a fond cowabunga.
45
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I'm off to laugh at the Reaper.
46
00:03:08,158 --> 00:03:10,456
Look out, world, here I...
47
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I'm sorry, Amy,
but your body's not up to the task.
48
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Also, I don't care for these
boobs flapping every which way.
49
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Now, quit your bologna-gargling
50
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and let's switch back
into our original bodies.
51
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Body-switching, eh?
Mayhap the heist is back on.
52
00:03:30,749 --> 00:03:33,445
Who needs accomplices,
if I can just use their bodies?
53
00:03:38,958 --> 00:03:41,223
Professor, what's not happening?
54
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Bad news, me.
55
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I failed to take into account
the cerebral immune response.
56
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You idiot!
57
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Once two bodies have switched minds,
they can never switch back.
58
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However, perhaps they can.
59
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Maybe we can swap back using
a third body for temporary storage space.
60
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I'm 60% storage space.
61
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You are? I... Mmm?
62
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Well, I'm off to the royal yacht
63
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for a quick seduce-and-snatch.
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See you!
65
00:04:14,596 --> 00:04:15,585
Now, then, Amy,
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we'll simply switch bodies,
and then we'II... We'II...
67
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No, I'd be back in my body,
68
00:04:21,638 --> 00:04:23,538
but then you and Bender
would be switched.
69
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:27,906
And the Amy and Bender bodies
can't trade minds again, since they just did.
70
00:04:28,178 --> 00:04:29,406
Oh, no!
71
00:04:29,513 --> 00:04:33,244
Is it possible to get everyone back
to normal using four or more bodies?
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I'm not sure.
73
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I'm afraid we need to use
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math.
75
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Stupid air-needing lungs.
76
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The crown jewels.
77
00:04:50,368 --> 00:04:53,235
Now I just have to locate the guard
and seduce him in...
78
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- Four seconds?
Who goes there?
79
00:04:56,342 --> 00:04:58,242
Three, two, one.
80
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Hello, big boy.
81
00:05:02,848 --> 00:05:03,872
Silence!
82
00:05:03,983 --> 00:05:07,249
I am Basil, the Emperor's cousin
and chief of his royal guard.
83
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And I shall not be seduced by a...
84
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I said...
85
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Professor? What's the matter?
86
00:05:21,269 --> 00:05:24,329
I'm Amy.
The Professor and I switched bodies.
87
00:05:24,505 --> 00:05:25,494
Oh, lord.
88
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All I wanted was to gorge myself a little,
89
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but I can't digest anything
with these false teeth
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and this hit-or-miss colon.
91
00:05:32,982 --> 00:05:35,382
At least you get a senior discount
at the movies.
92
00:05:35,484 --> 00:05:39,682
I hate paying $14
to see Nicolas Cage solve things.
93
00:05:39,788 --> 00:05:42,848
If you want to save $2,
we could switch bodies.
94
00:05:43,325 --> 00:05:46,022
Hmm. We can always switch back, right?
95
00:05:51,968 --> 00:05:52,935
Hey, Leela.
96
00:05:53,036 --> 00:05:55,061
Mmm. What smells saturated?
97
00:05:55,171 --> 00:05:58,767
Deep-fried ice cream sandwich
wrapped in frosting and lightly baconed.
98
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:01,740
Whoa. That sounds
like something Amy would say and eat.
99
00:06:02,079 --> 00:06:05,537
I am Amy. Leela and I used the
Professor's mind-switching machine.
100
00:06:05,883 --> 00:06:08,147
So Leela's in your body?
101
00:06:08,819 --> 00:06:09,809
Not exactly.
102
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Aha! You do only like me for my body!
103
00:06:14,426 --> 00:06:16,724
That is entirely not true, sir!
104
00:06:19,531 --> 00:06:23,263
Now to go switch bodies with Zoidberg,
sneak past the metal detector
105
00:06:23,369 --> 00:06:25,667
and clip the alarm wires, all in less than...
106
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Ten minutes ago? Oh!
107
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Uh, could you come back
when my chump gets here?
108
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Now, then, what is a filthy human
doing aboard my royal yacht?
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With all due respect, Your Majesty,
I'm a robot like you.
110
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I just switched bodies with some bimbo.
111
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Go ahead, ask me something
only a robot would know.
112
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A reverse Turing Test, eh? Very good.
113
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- What is the square root of nine?
- Uh, hold on, let me just get out a pencil.
114
00:07:01,644 --> 00:07:05,808
Okay, look, I'm not that kind
of robot. I'm more this kind of robot.
115
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- He steps forwards but moves backwards.
- By the gods! He is a machine!
116
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No, that won't restore everyone, either.
117
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Besides, I don't want
my decrepit old body back!
118
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I'm running away with this invincible
robot body and joining something.
119
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Look, I paid for 15 robot clowns
per cubic meter of car,
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and you're barely giving me 12.
Now, crumple up and get in...
121
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And fasten your seatbelts.
122
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Come on!
123
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Good day.
124
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I am Nonchalanto, the robot daredevil.
125
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And my dream is to
risk my life in strange and original ways.
126
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Hmm. You don't look so foolhardy to me.
127
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That's the dumbest thing
anybody's ever done.
128
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You're hired!
129
00:08:15,957 --> 00:08:19,449
So you're a common bending robot,
with a human peasant roommate?
130
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Oh, crap, that is what I am!
131
00:08:22,264 --> 00:08:24,232
No, Bender, I envy you.
132
00:08:24,332 --> 00:08:26,597
I'm so bored
with all these pretentious trappings.
133
00:08:26,702 --> 00:08:29,728
The jewels, the parties,
the beautiful robo-women.
134
00:08:29,839 --> 00:08:30,806
Hello.
135
00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:35,467
My fiancée, Princess Flavia.
136
00:08:35,745 --> 00:08:39,477
Dearest, meet Bender. He's a robot in
the body of a Chinese Martian physicist.
137
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How tedious.
138
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Oh, to escape this gilded cage for a day.
139
00:08:45,255 --> 00:08:48,224
You know, we could trade bodies.
140
00:08:48,325 --> 00:08:52,126
I could take over the humdrum royal stuff,
and you could be a regular Joe for a day.
141
00:08:53,031 --> 00:08:55,261
Or more. Much more.
142
00:08:55,366 --> 00:08:59,325
In that horrid non-robot body?
Sir, I have my standards.
143
00:08:59,571 --> 00:09:03,565
Ah, but what if I could put you
in my fabulous bending-robot body?
144
00:09:03,909 --> 00:09:07,436
Me, posing as a lowly bending unit?
145
00:09:07,746 --> 00:09:08,872
How wicked!
146
00:09:09,381 --> 00:09:12,646
But wait, I'm supposed to give a speech
at the U.N. Tomorrow.
147
00:09:12,751 --> 00:09:15,515
- Can I trust you to do it?
- You can trust anything.
148
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,827
So now Leela's all crotchety
149
00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:24,863
because she thinks I'm not attracted
to her in the Professor's body.
150
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,998
- You aren't, are you?
- Of course not!
151
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,195
But I was willing to lie about it.
What more can a man do?
152
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A man can give her a toke
of her own medicine.
153
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Yes! I could put my mind
into a hideous body
154
00:09:35,877 --> 00:09:38,038
and show Leela she's not attracted to me.
155
00:09:38,446 --> 00:09:42,315
But it would have to be
a really, really disgusting body.
156
00:09:42,684 --> 00:09:46,484
Friends! Friends!
I've got barnacles on my tuchus.
157
00:09:47,022 --> 00:09:49,149
The long search is over.
158
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Wait here and earn interest
while I find my robot body.
159
00:09:56,432 --> 00:09:58,764
- Professor?
- Leela. Amy?
160
00:09:58,868 --> 00:10:01,837
Bender. Have you seen my body?
I think the Professor's in it.
161
00:10:02,205 --> 00:10:04,571
Yeah, he said something
about running away.
162
00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:07,104
- Then he ran away.
- What? Whither?
163
00:10:19,090 --> 00:10:20,079
What am I gonna do?
164
00:10:20,191 --> 00:10:23,957
I got an emperor all patsied up to
switch bodies, but only with another robot!
165
00:10:24,329 --> 00:10:25,660
Washbucket full.
166
00:10:26,097 --> 00:10:27,496
Scruffy's work here is done.
167
00:10:38,945 --> 00:10:41,436
Now to find Emperor Von Richendoof.
168
00:10:41,547 --> 00:10:43,038
Now to find Scruffy.
169
00:10:45,285 --> 00:10:47,776
Switch bodies? I don't see why not.
170
00:10:48,622 --> 00:10:50,214
I also don't see why.
171
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,350
In your face, Leela.
172
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:58,693
If you're a bender,
why is your body full of fetid water?
173
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,700
If you're an emperor,
why don't you shut up?
174
00:11:01,135 --> 00:11:02,159
Move it, Fry!
175
00:11:04,939 --> 00:11:06,702
- Well, so long.
- Wait!
176
00:11:06,808 --> 00:11:09,972
- Point me to my normal human roommate!
- That's him there. Maybe.
177
00:11:10,179 --> 00:11:11,373
Got to go!
178
00:11:12,615 --> 00:11:13,843
Robot?
179
00:11:14,016 --> 00:11:18,715
Yes, 'tis I, Bender.
Do you not recognize your own best friend?
180
00:11:18,988 --> 00:11:21,787
Aha! The guy in this body has a friend!
181
00:11:22,192 --> 00:11:25,753
Bender, old pal! It's me, the Fry!
182
00:11:28,164 --> 00:11:31,622
But then Nicolas Cage
discovered the real treasure was his family.
183
00:11:32,168 --> 00:11:33,466
Yes, I'll hold.
184
00:11:34,505 --> 00:11:36,700
Hey, Leela, look! I'm in Zoidberg!
185
00:11:37,775 --> 00:11:38,764
Fry?
186
00:11:38,876 --> 00:11:40,002
You're not so shallow
187
00:11:40,111 --> 00:11:42,978
that you find me repulsive
because of my body, are you?
188
00:11:46,018 --> 00:11:47,315
Not at all.
189
00:11:51,356 --> 00:11:52,880
Amy? Stop it!
190
00:11:52,991 --> 00:11:56,119
Fry, help!
She's turning me into a parade float.
191
00:11:56,461 --> 00:11:57,895
Ew! Look at her!
192
00:11:59,766 --> 00:12:03,133
Oh. So you're so shallow
that my body disgusts you
193
00:12:03,236 --> 00:12:06,865
- if it puts on a little extra weight?
- That wasn't a little extra weight.
194
00:12:06,973 --> 00:12:09,737
Admit it!
You don't care about the inner me at all!
195
00:12:09,842 --> 00:12:11,140
No, you admit it!
196
00:12:11,245 --> 00:12:14,510
You'd be ashamed to be seen in public
with someone as hideous as me!
197
00:12:14,615 --> 00:12:16,378
- Would not!
- Oh, yeah?
198
00:12:16,483 --> 00:12:20,112
Then I challenge you
to a romantic dinner at Elzar's tonight.
199
00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:21,585
It's on.
200
00:12:27,328 --> 00:12:28,955
Sweet orca of Majorca!
201
00:12:29,064 --> 00:12:31,157
You make Fat Albert look
like Normal Albert!
202
00:12:31,466 --> 00:12:34,629
I don't know what to do.
Do you think I should eat more butter?
203
00:12:34,736 --> 00:12:36,671
I am putting a stop to this right now!
204
00:12:36,772 --> 00:12:38,637
Come on. We're switching bodies.
205
00:12:38,741 --> 00:12:41,972
Hermes, no! I'll ruin your body, too!
206
00:12:42,978 --> 00:12:45,606
Three decades of the munchies
beat you to it.
207
00:13:03,634 --> 00:13:05,659
You make
quite a show, young man.
208
00:13:05,770 --> 00:13:08,398
You remind me of myself
as a young cannon.
209
00:13:08,506 --> 00:13:11,066
Big Bertha is the circus's grande dame.
210
00:13:11,175 --> 00:13:13,144
She shoots robots through the air.
211
00:13:14,780 --> 00:13:17,044
Excuse me. Too much goulash.
212
00:13:17,149 --> 00:13:19,743
I've always wanted
to be shot out of something.
213
00:13:19,852 --> 00:13:22,150
How about a quick blast after lunch?
214
00:13:22,354 --> 00:13:26,553
Alas, a fine big one like you
would shatter my barrel.
215
00:13:26,659 --> 00:13:29,992
But, ah, to amaze the crowd once more.
216
00:13:30,396 --> 00:13:35,561
I understand the problems of age,
but suppose I could put you in a new body?
217
00:13:35,668 --> 00:13:39,537
Never! My body may be old, but it is mine,
218
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:43,440
and every crack
a memory of heavy things shot a long way.
219
00:13:43,544 --> 00:13:45,011
Good day!
220
00:13:52,254 --> 00:13:56,350
I have everything I ever wanted.
Money, wealth, riches.
221
00:13:56,825 --> 00:13:58,315
Yet something's missing.
222
00:13:58,493 --> 00:14:00,620
A hot princess with whom to get grizzly.
223
00:14:00,729 --> 00:14:03,722
- Hello.
- Hello, baby!
224
00:14:04,734 --> 00:14:06,861
Huh? Hey, what's going on here?
225
00:14:06,969 --> 00:14:09,836
And why are you kissing my dashing cousin
instead of me?
226
00:14:09,939 --> 00:14:12,066
Nikolai, you imperial fool.
227
00:14:12,175 --> 00:14:14,644
We've been having an affair for 700 years.
228
00:14:14,978 --> 00:14:19,881
At long last, I shall kill you,
blame the burglar and inherit the throne.
229
00:14:27,425 --> 00:14:29,052
Farewell, Nikolai.
230
00:14:29,194 --> 00:14:33,563
Wait! I'm not Nikolai! I'm Bender,
the fabulous body-switching burglar.
231
00:14:36,601 --> 00:14:39,662
So you are.
However, you do have Nikolai's body,
232
00:14:39,772 --> 00:14:41,205
and that's the part we want to kill.
233
00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:56,713
Great food, huh?
234
00:14:58,225 --> 00:14:59,283
Ew!
235
00:14:59,459 --> 00:15:00,949
I'm sorry, Leela.
236
00:15:01,061 --> 00:15:03,723
I hope that didn't make you ashamed
to be seen with me.
237
00:15:03,997 --> 00:15:06,660
No, it only makes you more attractive.
238
00:15:07,869 --> 00:15:09,427
Ew!
239
00:15:11,072 --> 00:15:14,200
Oh! Did my bodily infirmity embarrass you?
240
00:15:14,308 --> 00:15:18,507
Not at all. It's just another thing
that makes you a very special lady.
241
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:19,874
You mean, like my penis?
242
00:15:23,085 --> 00:15:27,749
- Admit it! You're disgusted by me!
- No, you're disgusted by me!
243
00:15:27,856 --> 00:15:30,883
- I'm as attracted to you as I've ever been!
- Prove it!
244
00:15:39,269 --> 00:15:43,229
Well, Bender, here's our apartment
that we live in every day.
245
00:15:44,842 --> 00:15:47,709
A floor? We live like kings!
246
00:15:48,078 --> 00:15:51,275
Kings? Silence!
Like you, I'm a common lout.
247
00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:53,142
Now fetch me some working-class cognac
248
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,719
from our brandy storeroom
that you know how to find.
249
00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:56,787
Uh...
250
00:16:04,262 --> 00:16:05,490
Relax, Bender.
251
00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:08,066
I'll dry up that leak with this heating box.
252
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:14,668
Ah, cigars. Light me up, old friend.
253
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,812
There you are, Emperor Nikolai.
It's time for your speech to the U.N.
254
00:16:31,326 --> 00:16:32,350
What now?
255
00:16:38,199 --> 00:16:41,600
- Miss Wong?
- No, Scruffy, I am Washbucket.
256
00:16:41,703 --> 00:16:45,071
I love you.
Washbucket has always loved you.
257
00:16:48,243 --> 00:16:49,437
This is wrong, Washbucket.
258
00:16:49,912 --> 00:16:52,142
Oh, it would be sweet for a while,
259
00:16:52,247 --> 00:16:54,943
but in the back of our minds,
we'd know that I'm a man
260
00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:56,484
and you're janitorial equipment.
261
00:16:56,786 --> 00:17:00,085
In another city,
we could be anyone we want!
262
00:17:00,690 --> 00:17:03,921
Go. Go now, before I beg you to stay.
263
00:17:13,204 --> 00:17:14,171
Yep.
264
00:17:16,073 --> 00:17:21,171
Please welcome an insane dictator,
and one heck of a bowler,
265
00:17:21,279 --> 00:17:23,747
Emperor Nikolai!
266
00:17:26,251 --> 00:17:28,014
Thanks, Nixon. How we doing?
267
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:31,988
I love you, Your Majesty!
- Shut up, Madame Ambassador! I know it!
268
00:17:32,324 --> 00:17:34,816
Anyhow,
269
00:17:35,361 --> 00:17:39,627
I'd now like to digress from
my prepared remarks to say I'm done!
270
00:17:42,168 --> 00:17:44,932
Ladies and gentlemen,
this robot is an impostor!
271
00:17:49,943 --> 00:17:53,174
- I shall enjoy this.
- Not me!
272
00:17:55,082 --> 00:17:57,482
That devil, Basil, will kill our emperor.
273
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,883
You're Robo-Hungarian?
274
00:17:59,988 --> 00:18:03,321
Yes. Our nation's chief export is carnies.
275
00:18:03,425 --> 00:18:06,690
If only there were some way
I could get to the U.N. To help.
276
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:09,525
There is. Get in, Nonchalanto.
277
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:11,657
Bertha, no! It would kill you!
278
00:18:11,767 --> 00:18:14,531
I have not so much time left anyhow.
279
00:18:14,637 --> 00:18:18,664
But you could get a new body!
You could have a rich, full life!
280
00:18:18,774 --> 00:18:22,141
I am trying to have a rich, full life!
281
00:18:28,051 --> 00:18:29,985
Long live Robo-Hungary!
282
00:18:40,231 --> 00:18:41,994
Me! Thank God you've come!
283
00:18:44,502 --> 00:18:46,800
This is for Big Bertha!
284
00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:51,236
That is not what
I meant to give you for Big Bertha.
285
00:18:53,545 --> 00:18:57,037
- That was nice.
- Oh, yeah.
286
00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:05,587
Ow! Ow!
287
00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:18,805
Whoever you are,
you're the bravest robot I've ever seen.
288
00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:21,498
I like killing brave things.
289
00:19:21,809 --> 00:19:25,006
Good! Because I've got 20 of them
per cubic meter.
290
00:19:29,851 --> 00:19:32,342
When I grow up, I want to be a diplomat!
291
00:19:36,691 --> 00:19:39,627
Well, if there's one thing I've learned,
it's a lesson.
292
00:19:39,729 --> 00:19:41,321
I believe this belongs to you.
293
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:47,725
I shall sell it to help the common folk,
now that I understand their misery.
294
00:19:47,837 --> 00:19:48,963
Yeah, good luck with that.
295
00:19:49,272 --> 00:19:52,436
I must say, Hermes,
you've got a smoking-hot body.
296
00:19:52,543 --> 00:19:54,374
I was inspired by Amy.
297
00:19:55,112 --> 00:19:58,878
- Wow! How'd you do it?
- Well, there I was at Elzar's,
298
00:19:58,982 --> 00:20:02,783
eating a nice pork sundae,
and suddenly, I just lost my appetite.
299
00:20:04,355 --> 00:20:05,344
Forever.
300
00:20:05,924 --> 00:20:07,516
Q to the E to the D!
301
00:20:07,892 --> 00:20:12,261
So it is possible for us all
to get back to our original bodies?
302
00:20:12,363 --> 00:20:14,126
Stone-cold munching, Prof.
303
00:20:14,232 --> 00:20:16,997
Sweet Clyde,
characterize your inversion theorem.
304
00:20:17,603 --> 00:20:20,401
Basically, no matter
how permuted-up your minds are,
305
00:20:20,506 --> 00:20:23,566
they can be restored
using, at most, two extra players.
306
00:20:24,577 --> 00:20:28,776
And they say pure math
has no real-world applications!
307
00:20:37,457 --> 00:20:39,084
Everybody back in their zones?
308
00:20:39,192 --> 00:20:40,558
- Yes sir!
- Yes!
309
00:20:40,861 --> 00:20:44,353
Ah! My body may be old, but it is mine.
310
00:20:44,732 --> 00:20:46,131
Brilliant work, Clyde!
311
00:20:46,234 --> 00:20:49,897
You'll win
the NBA's highest academic honor for this.
312
00:20:50,004 --> 00:20:51,835
Also, I'm making you a duke.
313
00:20:52,306 --> 00:20:55,470
- So long, filthy commoners!
- Adios!
314
00:20:56,878 --> 00:20:59,506
And I'm left
with the real jewels safely inside...
315
00:20:59,881 --> 00:21:02,042
His compartment?
316
00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:05,619
All right. I'll need accomplices.
317
00:21:36,988 --> 00:21:37,955
ENGLISH - US - SDH