1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:03,252
Tonight at 11:00...

2
00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,797
(SHOUTING)
Doom!

3
00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:29,153
Boy, that thing's big.

4
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:31,572
Fry, is my colossal eye
too big?

5
00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:34,200
No, it's what
makes you you.

6
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,537
But it's so round,
so hideously round.

7
00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,038
Leela, listen.

8
00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:42,041
You're the most
beautiful woman
I've ever known.

9
00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:44,544
Oh. So you only care
about my looks?

10
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,129
No, I... What?

11
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:49,632
Finally, New New York
got a blast of class today

12
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:53,469
as Nikolai, playboy ruler
of the Robo-Hungarian Empire,

13
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,848
arrived aboard
his extravagant
caviar-powered yacht.

14
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,975
I am just
a humble emperor

15
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,227
with a big,
big crown!

16
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:04,188
Of course
I'm not planning to
steal that crown!

17
00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:05,606
What?
True.

18
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,775
I've always dreamed
of being an emperor.

19
00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:10,194
You know, for Halloween,
and then forever.

20
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,822
But heisting those jewels
would be difficult.

21
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,407
You'd be stupid to try.

22
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:15,783
I'll need accomplices.

23
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:18,369
A sexy vamp to distract
and tie up the guard.

24
00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:19,620
Never!

25
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:22,707
A claw man to slip past
the metal detector

26
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,250
and cut the alarm wires.

27
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:27,420
Sorry,
I'm set for life
after that last job.

28
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,967
And finally, a chump,

29
00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,178
to be caught on video
and later arrested.

30
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,305
As I told you on
Sucker-Punch Day,

31
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:38,681
I'm through being a chump.

32
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:42,518
Of course,
it would all require
split-second robotic timing.

33
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:46,063
That's where I come in.
You see, I own a watch.

34
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:52,945
There. This time I'm sure
I've fixed the mind switcher.

35
00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:56,324
Good, I'm sick of
cleaning up those heaps
of dead monkeys.

36
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,576
But why would
you want your mind
in a new body?

37
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,954
Well, as a man
enters his 18th decade,

38
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:04,791
he thinks back
on the mistakes
he's made in life.

39
00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:06,626
Like the heaps
of dead monkeys?

40
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:09,629
Science cannot move forward
without heaps!

41
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:13,841
No, what I regret
is the youth I wasted
playing it safe.

42
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,719
I wasted my
youth porking out.

43
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:18,387
Yes, I remember.

44
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,140
Would you please
take that down?

45
00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:22,475
It's making me hungry.

46
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:26,229
Funny, I could use
a little extra meat
on my bones.

47
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:27,814
Wait a second!

48
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:31,818
If we switched bodies,
I could live life
to the extreme,

49
00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:34,403
and you could indulge
your demonic food lust.

50
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:38,783
(GASPS) We're just the people
this mind switcher was
made for by us!

51
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,621
Wait, can I still
change my mind?

52
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:44,914
Let's find out.

53
00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:54,340
(IN AMY'S VOICE)
It didn't work, you
doddering old... (GASPS)

54
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,843
(IN FARNSWORTH'S VOICE)
Ah! Cartilage!

55
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:59,971
Dude, I bid you
a fond cowabunga.

56
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,640
I'm off to laugh
at the Reaper.

57
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:07,103
(WHOOPING)

58
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,648
Look out, world,
here I... (GROANS)

59
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,364
I'm sorry, Amy,
but your body's
not up to the task.

60
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:22,368
Also,
I don't care for these boobs
flapping every which way.

61
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,995
Now, quit your
bologna-gargling

62
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,664
and let's switch back
into our original bodies.

63
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:30,835
Body-switching, eh?
Mayhap the heist is back on.

64
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,629
Who needs accomplices,
if I can just
use their bodies?

65
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,424
(DEVICE BEEPING)

66
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:41,429
Professor,
what's not happening?

67
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,347
Bad news, me.

68
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:46,934
I failed to take into account
the cerebral immune response.

69
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:48,185
You idiot!

70
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,938
Once two bodies
have switched minds,

71
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,149
they can never
switch back.

72
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,819
However,
perhaps they can.

73
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:59,780
Maybe we can swap back
using a third body

74
00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,782
for temporary storage space.

75
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,243
I'm 60% storage space.

76
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:07,330
You are?
I... Mmm?

77
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:12,001
(IN BENDER'S VOICE)
Well, I'm off to
the royal yacht

78
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,669
for a quick
seduce-and-snatch.

79
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,755
See you!
(IN FARNSWORTH'S VOICE)
Now, then, Amy

80
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:18,382
we'll simply switch bodies,
and then we'll...

81
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:19,467
We'll...

82
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,719
No, I'd be back
in my body,

83
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,721
but then you and Bender
would be switched.

84
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:28,100
And the Amy and Bender bodies
can't trade minds again,
since they just did.

85
00:04:28,352 --> 00:04:29,602
Oh, no!

86
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,228
Is it possible to
get everyone back

87
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:33,439
to normal using
four or more bodies?

88
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,649
I'm not sure.

89
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,692
I'm afraid we need to use

90
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,361
math.

91
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,869
Stupid air-needing lungs.

92
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,456
(GASPS) The crown jewels.

93
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,417
Now I just have
to locate the guard
and seduce him in...

94
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,169
Four seconds?

95
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,420
GUARD: Who goes there?

96
00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:58,422
Three, two, one.

97
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,633
(IN FEMALE VOICE)
Hello, big boy.

98
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,259
(IMITATING EROTIC MUSIC)

99
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,971
Silence!
I am Basil,

100
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,431
the Emperor's cousin
and chief of his royal guard.

101
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,392
And I shall not
be seduced by a...

102
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,644
I said...

103
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,396
(IMITATING EROTIC MUSIC)

104
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,650
(GROANING)

105
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,360
(MUTTERING)

106
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,070
Professor?
What's the matter?

107
00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:24,532
I'm Amy.
The Professor and I
switched bodies.

108
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,658
Oh, lord.

109
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,494
All I wanted was to
gorge myself a little,

110
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,163
but I can't digest anything
with these false teeth

111
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,040
and this hit-or-miss colon.

112
00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:35,543
At least you get
a senior discount
at the movies.

113
00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:39,839
I hate paying $14
to see Nicolas Cage
solve things.

114
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:43,050
If you want to save $2,
we could switch bodies.

115
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:46,220
Hmm. We can always
switch back, right?

116
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:48,264
(GIGGLES INNOCENTLY)

117
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,102
Hey, Leela.

118
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,229
Mmm.
What smells saturated?

119
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:58,941
Deep-fried ice cream sandwich
wrapped in frosting
and lightly baconed.

120
00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:01,944
Whoa. That sounds
like something Amy
would say and eat.

121
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:05,740
I am Amy. Leela and I
used the Professor's
mind-switching machine.

122
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,325
So Leela's
in your body?

123
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:09,994
(IN LEELA'S VOICE)
Not exactly.

124
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:11,162
(EXCLAIMS IN FEAR)

125
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,165
Aha! You do only
like me for my body!

126
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,917
That is entirely
not true, sir!

127
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:18,753
(MUFFLED GROANS)

128
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:23,424
Now to go switch
bodies with Zoidberg,
sneak past the metal detector

129
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,843
and clip the alarm wires,
all in less than...

130
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:28,846
Ten minutes ago? Oh!

131
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,264
(BEEPING)

132
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,766
(ALARM SOUNDING)

133
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:38,397
Uh, could you come back
when my chump gets here?

134
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:46,113
Now, then,
what is a filthy human doing
aboard my royal yacht?

135
00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:49,492
With all due respect,
Your Majesty,
I'm a robot like you.

136
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,702
I just switched bodies
with some bimbo.

137
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:54,371
Go ahead, ask me something
only a robot would know.

138
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,999
A reverse Turing Test, eh?
Very good.

139
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,584
What is the square root
of nine?

140
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:01,170
Uh, hold on, let me
just get out a pencil.

141
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:06,008
(SIGHS) Okay, look,
I'm not that kind of robot.
I'm more this kind of robot.

142
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,760
(BEAT BOXING)

143
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:11,013
He steps forwards
but moves backwards.

144
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,349
By the gods!
He is a machine!

145
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,853
No, that won't
restore everyone, either.

146
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:21,524
Besides, I don't want
my decrepit old body back!

147
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:26,195
I'm running away with
this invincible robot body
and joining something.

148
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:34,703
Look,
I paid for 15 robot clowns
per cubic meter of car,

149
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:38,749
and you're
barely giving me 12.
Now, crumple up and get in...

150
00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,292
And fasten your seatbelts.

151
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,002
(ALL GROANING)
Come on!

152
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,213
Good day.

153
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:47,633
I am Nonchalanto,
the robot daredevil.

154
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:52,680
And my dream is to
risk my life in strange
and original ways.

155
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,307
Hmm. You don't look
so foolhardy to me.

156
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:06,986
(APPLAUSE)

157
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:10,030
That's the dumbest thing
anybody's ever done.

158
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:11,657
You're hired!

159
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,872
So you're a common
bending robot,

160
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,623
with a human
peasant roommate?

161
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,334
Oh, crap,
that is what I am!

162
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,378
No, Bender, I envy you.

163
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:26,755
I'm so bored
with all these
pretentious trappings.

164
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,508
The jewels, the parties,
the beautiful robo-women.

165
00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:30,759
Hello.

166
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,639
(SCOFFS) My fiancée,
Princess Flavia.

167
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:39,643
Dearest, meet Bender.
He's a robot in the body of
a Chinese Martian physicist.

168
00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,770
How tedious.

169
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:45,316
Oh, to escape this
gilded cage for a day.

170
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,360
You know,
we could trade bodies.

171
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,487
I could take over
the humdrum royal stuff,

172
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,281
and you could be
a regular Joe for a day.

173
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,409
Or more. Much more.

174
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:59,496
In that horrid
non-robot body?
Sir, I have my standards.

175
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:03,751
Ah, but what if I could
put you in my fabulous
bending-robot body?

176
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,630
(GIGGLES) Me, posing
as a lowly bending unit?

177
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,048
How wicked!

178
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:12,801
But wait, I'm supposed
to give a speech
at the U. N. Tomorrow.

179
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,220
Can I trust you to do it?

180
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,679
You can trust anything.

181
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:21,977
So now Leela's
all crotchety

182
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,022
because she thinks
I'm not attracted to her
in the Professor's body.

183
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,149
You aren't, are you?
Of course not!

184
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,361
But I was willing
to lie about it.
What more can a man do?

185
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,780
A man can give her a toke
of her own medicine.

186
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:35,908
Yes! I could put my mind
into a hideous body

187
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,202
and show Leela she's
not attracted to me.

188
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:42,498
But it would have to be
a really, really
disgusting body.

189
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:46,669
Friends! Friends!
I've got barnacles
on my tuchus.

190
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,338
The long search is over.

191
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:53,050
Wait here and earn interest
while I find my robot body.

192
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,554
Professor?

193
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:58,931
Leela. Amy?

194
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,766
Bender.
Have you seen my body?

195
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,017
I think
the Professor's in it.

196
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,728
Yeah, he said something
about running away.

197
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,063
Then he ran away.

198
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:07,273
What? Whither?

199
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,244
What am I gonna do?

200
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,788
I got an emperor
all patsied up to
switch bodies,

201
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,123
but only with
another robot!

202
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,833
Washbucket full.

203
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,668
Scruffy's work here
is done.

204
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,802
(CHUCKLING)

205
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,971
(CACKLING)

206
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,598
(IN BENDER'S VOICE)
Now to find Emperor
Von Richendoof.

207
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,225
Now to find Scruffy.

208
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,938
Switch bodies?
I don't see why not.

209
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,399
I also don't see why.

210
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:52,860
(CHUCKLING)

211
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,528
(IN FRY'S VOICE)
In your face, Leela.

212
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:58,824
If you're a bender,
why is your body
full of fetid water?

213
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,868
If you're an emperor,
why don't you shut up?

214
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,328
Move it, Fry!

215
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,832
Well, so long.
Wait!

216
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,500
Point me to my
normal human roommate!

217
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,127
That's him there.
Maybe.

218
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,545
Got to go!

219
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,006
(IN DR. ZOIDBERG'S VOICE)
Robot?

220
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,592
Yes, 'tis I, Bender.

221
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,886
Do you not recognize
your own best friend?

222
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,930
Aha! The guy in this body
has a friend!

223
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,934
Bender, old pal!
It's me, the Fry!

224
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,774
But then Nicolas Cage
discovered the real
treasure was his family.

225
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,609
Yes, I'll hold.

226
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,862
Hey, Leela, look!
I'm in Zoidberg!

227
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:38,906
Fry?

228
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,157
You're not so shallow

229
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:43,118
that you find me repulsive
because of my body, are you?

230
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:45,829
(CHOKES)

231
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,456
Not at all.

232
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:53,045
Amy? Stop it!

233
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:56,298
Fry, help!
She's turning me
into a parade float.

234
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,050
Ew! Look at her!

235
00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,134
(GROWLS)

236
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:03,263
Oh. So you're so shallow
that my body disgusts you

237
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,099
if it puts on
a little extra weight?

238
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,017
That wasn't
a little extra weight.

239
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,895
Admit it!
You don't care about
the inner me at all!

240
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,271
No, you admit it!

241
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,981
You'd be ashamed
to be seen in public

242
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,650
with someone as
hideous as me!

243
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,527
Would not!
Oh, yeah?

244
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:20,239
Then I challenge you
to a romantic dinner
at Elzar's tonight.

245
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,740
It's on.

246
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,204
(DOOR OPENS)

247
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,081
Sweet orca of Majorca!

248
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,333
You make Fat Albert look
like Normal Albert!

249
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,918
I don't know what to do.

250
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,753
Do you think I
should eat more butter?

251
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:36,797
I am putting a stop
to this right now!

252
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,757
Come on.
We're switching bodies.

253
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:42,136
Hermes, no!
I'll ruin your body, too!

254
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,764
Three decades of the munchies
beat you to it.

255
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,784
BIG BERTHA: You make
quite a show, young man.

256
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:08,537
You remind me of myself
as a young cannon.

257
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,206
Big Bertha is
the circus's grande dame.

258
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,292
She shoots robots
through the air.

259
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:14,626
(BELCHES)

260
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:17,171
Excuse me.
Too much goulash.

261
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,882
I've always wanted
to be shot out of something.

262
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,301
How about a quick
blast after lunch?

263
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:26,680
Alas, a fine big one like you
would shatter my barrel.

264
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:30,142
But, ah, to amaze
the crowd once more.

265
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,312
I understand
the problems of age,

266
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,689
but suppose I could
put you in a new body?

267
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:39,651
Never! My body may be old,
but it is mine,

268
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:43,572
and every crack
a memory of heavy things
shot a long way.

269
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,157
Good day!

270
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,163
(JEWELS CLATTERING)

271
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,289
(SIGHS)

272
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:56,502
I have
everything I ever wanted.
Money, wealth, riches.

273
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,462
Yet something's missing.

274
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,756
A hot princess with
whom to get grizzly.

275
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,884
Hello.
Hello, baby!

276
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,012
Huh? Hey,
what's going on here?

277
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,973
And why are you kissing
my dashing cousin
instead of me?

278
00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,184
Nikolai,
you imperial fool.

279
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,770
We've been having
an affair for 700 years.

280
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:18,106
At long last,
I shall kill you,
blame the burglar

281
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,025
and inherit the throne.

282
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,201
Farewell, Nikolai.

283
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,869
Wait! I'm not Nikolai!

284
00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,789
I'm Bender,
the fabulous
body-switching burglar.

285
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,795
So you are.
However, you do
have Nikolai's body,

286
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,338
and that's the part
we want to kill.

287
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,298
(MOTOR RUNNING)

288
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:56,853
Great food, huh?

289
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:58,230
(BURPS)

290
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,439
(ALL GROANING)
Ew!

291
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,066
I'm sorry, Leela.

292
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,860
I hope that didn't make you
ashamed to be seen with me.

293
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:06,822
No, it only makes
you more attractive.

294
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,575
(PEOPLE GASPING)
Ew!

295
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,329
Oh! Did my bodily
infirmity embarrass you?

296
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,414
Not at all.

297
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:18,667
It's just another thing
that makes you
a very special lady.

298
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,002
You mean, like my penis?

299
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:25,340
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
Admit it!
You're disgusted by me!

300
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,884
No,
you're disgusted by me!

301
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,137
I'm as attracted to
you as I've ever been!

302
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:31,305
Prove it!

303
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,433
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

304
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:43,358
Well, Bender,
here's our apartment
that we live in every day.

305
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,863
A floor?
We live like kings!

306
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,406
Kings? Silence!

307
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,408
Like you, I'm a common lout.

308
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,285
Now fetch me some
working-class cognac

309
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,829
from our brandy storeroom
that you know how to find.

310
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:56,913
Uh...

311
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:04,296
(SCREAMS)

312
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,631
Relax, Bender.

313
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,216
I'll dry up that leak
with this heating box.

314
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:10,802
(GAS LEAKING)

315
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,806
Ah, cigars.
Light me up, old friend.

316
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,730
(PANTING)

317
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,112
There you are,
Emperor Nikolai.

318
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:30,947
It's time for your
speech to the U. N.

319
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:32,491
What now?

320
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,243
(SCREAMS)

321
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,289
Miss Wong?

322
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:41,708
No, Scruffy,
I am Washbucket.

323
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:45,212
I love you.
Washbucket has
always loved you.

324
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,591
This is wrong, Washbucket.

325
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,260
Oh, it would be
sweet for a while,

326
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,055
but in the back of our minds,
we'd know that I'm a man

327
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,598
and you're
janitorial equipment.

328
00:16:56,891 --> 00:17:00,227
In another city,
we could be anyone we want!

329
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,437
Go. Go now,

330
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,064
before I beg you to stay.

331
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,489
(CRYING)

332
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,282
Yep.

333
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:21,289
Please welcome
an insane dictator,
and one heck of a bowler,

334
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,875
Emperor Nikolai!

335
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,130
Thanks, Nixon.
How we doing?

336
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,965
WOMAN: I love you,
Your Majesty!

337
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,134
Shut up, Madame Ambassador!
I know it!

338
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,510
Anyhow,

339
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:34,970
(CLEARING THROAT)

340
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,390
I'd now like to digress
from my prepared remarks

341
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,725
to say I'm done!

342
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,143
(ALL CHEERING)

343
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:45,063
Ladies and gentlemen,
this robot is an impostor!

344
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,398
(ALL GASPING)

345
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:48,525
(EXCLAIMS)

346
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,862
I shall enjoy this.

347
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,572
Not me!

348
00:17:55,158 --> 00:17:57,617
That devil, Basil,
will kill our emperor.

349
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,995
You're Robo-Hungarian?

350
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:03,415
Yes. Our nation's
chief export is carnies.

351
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,793
If only there were some way
I could get to the U. N.
To help.

352
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:09,629
There is.
Get in, Nonchalanto.

353
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,757
Bertha, no!
It would kill you!

354
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:14,634
I have not so much
time left anyhow.

355
00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:18,764
But you could get a new body!
You could have a rich,
full life!

356
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:22,267
I am trying to have
a rich, full life!

357
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,108
Long live Robo-Hungary!

358
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,360
(GROANING)

359
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:34,196
(SCREAMING)

360
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,120
Me!
Thank God you've come!

361
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:46,917
This is for Big Bertha!

362
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,379
That is not what
I meant to give you
for Big Bertha.

363
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,759
(SIGHS) That was nice.

364
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,177
Oh, yeah.

365
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,055
(BOTH GASP)

366
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:05,685
Ow! Ow!
(SCREAMS)

367
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:06,770
(SHATTERS)

368
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,237
(EXCLAIMS)

369
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,907
Whoever you are,
you're the bravest robot
I've ever seen.

370
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,618
I like killing brave things.

371
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:25,121
Good!
Because I've got 20
of them per cubic meter.

372
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:32,462
When I grow up,
I want to be a diplomat!

373
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:39,719
Well, if there's one
thing I've learned,
it's a lesson.

374
00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:41,221
I believe this
belongs to you.

375
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,809
I shall sell it to
help the common folk,

376
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,853
now that I understand
their misery.

377
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,104
Yeah, good luck with that.

378
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:52,524
I must say, Hermes,
you've got
a smoking-hot body.

379
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,484
(IN HERMES'S VOICE)
I was inspired by Amy.

380
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,612
Wow! How'd you do it?
Well,

381
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,699
there I was at Elzar's,
eating a nice pork sundae,

382
00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,784
and suddenly,
I just lost my appetite.

383
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:05,453
Forever.

384
00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:07,622
Q to the E to the D!

385
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:12,377
So it is possible for
us all to get back to
our original bodies?

386
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,212
Stone-cold munching, Prof.

387
00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:17,132
Sweet Clyde,
characterize your
inversion theorem.

388
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:20,510
Basically, no matter
how permuted-up
your minds are,

389
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:23,680
they can be restored using,
at most, two extra players.

390
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,894
And they say
pure math has no
real-world applications!

391
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:36,735
(ALL CHEERING)

392
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,195
Everybody back
in their zones?

393
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:40,655
Yes sir!
Yes!

394
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:44,492
Ah! My body may be old,
but it is mine.

395
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:46,244
Brilliant work, Clyde!

396
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:49,998
You'll win the NBA's highest
academic honor for this.

397
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,917
Also,
I'm making you a duke.

398
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:54,336
So long, filthy commoners!

399
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,545
¡Adiós!

400
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:56,838
(CHUCKLES)

401
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,591
And I'm left
with the real jewels
safely inside...

402
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:02,135
His compartment?
(GROANS)

403
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,680
All right.
I'll need accomplices.

404
00:21:37,046 --> 00:21:38,046
ENGLISH - US - PSDH