1 00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:03,601 [Theme music] 2 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:06,639 ALL: [Singing] We can sing and dance and we don't need pants 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,140 See, we're just like you 4 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:13,279 We've got regular jobs, just with low doorknobs 5 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,780 See, we're just like you 6 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,650 Yes, we graduate from Harvard 7 00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:19,785 At the head of my class! 8 00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,454 But if you take sobriety 9 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,155 I may not pass! 10 00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:25,958 There's no strings attached and there's no hand up my 11 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:30,419 We're just like you! 12 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:35,701 Game point. Do you wanna give us a little luck here? 13 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:36,969 GREG: Okay. 14 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,470 [Greg clears throat] 15 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:40,673 [Greg chuckles] 16 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,041 - Ready? - Yeah. 17 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,275 Let's do it. 18 00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,778 GREG: So much of life comes down to choosing sides. 19 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,347 Growing up, Jimmy and I were always on the same side. 20 00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:52,084 Mostly because no side wanted either one of us, except in softball... 21 00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:54,754 where I was quite the stud. But in all fairness... 22 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:58,257 only because my strike zone is smaller than the ball. 23 00:00:58,258 --> 00:01:00,159 Star Trek's on in 15 minutes. 24 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,660 - Geeks. - Yeah? 25 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:06,796 Well, set your phasers to kiss my ass. 26 00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:10,336 [Groans] 27 00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,904 That's game, guys. 28 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,474 - I can't believe we lost to a sock. - What is that? 29 00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:18,277 GREG: It's all right. Let it go. You know what? We beat them. 30 00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:20,913 Listen to your furry sock, or you're gonna get hurt. 31 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:24,264 Yeah, Jimmy. Why don't you listen to your... 32 00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:29,288 - I grazed him on the chin. - And I grabbed him by the nuts. 33 00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:31,190 That's what they're there for. 34 00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:33,259 I didn't let go until the police came. 35 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,529 That's pretty good for a guy with no thumbs. 36 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,160 So, if it isn't Oscar de la Bunny. 37 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,634 - Hey, Blah. - How'd you hear already? 38 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:44,203 You didn't know? It made the paper. 39 00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:45,371 Let's see here. 40 00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:50,102 "Puppet bashing on the rise. Percentage increase, blah, blah, blah. 41 00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:51,844 Here it is. 42 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,213 "As recent as this past weekend... 43 00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:58,017 "Greg the Bunny from the struggling children's show... 44 00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:01,788 "Sweetknuckle Junction... " This bitch is on my list. 45 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:05,445 "...was the victim of racially motivated violence." 46 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,958 What does it say about me? 47 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:12,438 Here's something, but it's in the Men Seeking Men section. 48 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,965 [Greg laughing] 49 00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:18,971 God, no more pumpernickel? You know something? 50 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,173 The bagels are for the talent, fatties. 51 00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:24,577 - Bunny, you got a phone call. - Take a message. 52 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:27,279 You might want to take this. It's Hurbada Hymena. 53 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:31,011 The Hurbada Hymena? The puppets' rights leader? 54 00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:34,153 Go ahead and clear that up. There's probably a bunch of them. 55 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,890 GREG: Yeah, okay. Give it here. Yes, hello, Mr. Hymena. 56 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,291 HYMENA: Hurbada Hymena. 57 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,927 GREG: Hurbada. Thank you, sir. HYMENA: Remember me? 58 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:44,997 Yes, I know who you are. You spoke at the Million Puppet March. 59 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,399 HYMENA: I'd like to meet you, my friend. 60 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,900 You want to meet me? 61 00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:55,272 [Rock music] 62 00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:57,977 [Door creaking] 63 00:02:57,978 --> 00:03:00,478 [Door closing] 64 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:14,225 Mr. Hymena? 65 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,271 Oh, my! 66 00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:29,538 Can I just say that it is a distinct honor... 67 00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:31,844 to meet you, sir? 68 00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:34,345 Greg the Bunny. 69 00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,648 Who are you? 70 00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:40,486 Greg the Bunny. 71 00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:44,797 You were given the name "Greg," a name the flesh man uses. 72 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,226 But you are not one. 73 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,663 You speak a flesh language, but you are not one. 74 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,997 So, who are you? 75 00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,938 - A puppet? - You say it softly. 76 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,874 - Are you ashamed of it? - A puppet! 77 00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:05,609 - Mind if we speak Puppish? - No. 78 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,412 [Speaking gibberish] 79 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:13,652 Of course, I'm not really gonna have any idea what you're talking about. 80 00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:17,823 Our language is dying, my friend, and with it, our identity. 81 00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:21,988 I know puppets that do not even know their Puppish name. 82 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:26,031 It really is a tragedy, because the kids today just don't-- 83 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:29,229 - You are one of them. - Yeah. 84 00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:34,239 That is why I'm giving you the Puppish name... 85 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,608 Please don't say Corky. 86 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,945 - ...Bizzleburp. - Bizzleburp? 87 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:43,814 It's a proud name. It's a name that shouts: 88 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:47,920 "l am puppet. Hear me giggle, gurgle, and gaggle." 89 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,621 It ain't no Fonzie. 90 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:53,285 Bizzleburp, you can save our Puppish culture. 91 00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:56,628 Me? 92 00:04:56,629 --> 00:05:01,293 You inspire all young puppets to think, to learn, and to dream. 93 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:05,871 You are the present, my friend, and you are the future. 94 00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:10,242 The question is: Are you puppet enough to make a difference? 95 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,978 Well, sir... 96 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:16,115 there is a very good possibility that I am. 97 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,549 [Soul music] 98 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:18,183 [Soul music] 99 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:21,420 And that's when he said that it was all up to me. 100 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,255 Up to me. 101 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,957 GREG: He repeated "up to me" twice. 102 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:27,893 I'm not exactly sure why. I think maybe he lost his place... 103 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,329 but then he reached out. 104 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,730 He touched you? 105 00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:36,101 Nobody is supposed to touch me where my bathing suit covers. 106 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,037 Yeah. That's right, Tardy. 107 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,538 Anyway, he reached out... 108 00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:42,838 and then Hurbada wiped away my tear. 109 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,743 Dude, you were crying? 110 00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:49,782 Like, you're one to talk. You bawl like a baby every time you watch Rudy. 111 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:53,480 Well, he's so little, but he tries so big. 112 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:58,424 I once saw a street puppet in an outfit like that get hit by a car. 113 00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:02,027 He flew 30 feet. It looked like a clown shot out of a cannon... 114 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:06,231 except there was no net, so it was funny in a different way. 115 00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,667 Oh, God. I wish one of the voices in your head... 116 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:11,136 would just tell you to shut the hell up. 117 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:13,739 My best friend growing up was a puppet... 118 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:17,209 and she had a Puppish outfit she used to let me try on. 119 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,077 I felt like I was wearing a rainbow. 120 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:24,883 You know, I have the utmost respect for such an adorable little culture. 121 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,486 Okay, places everybody. Come on. Let's go. 122 00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:30,456 If we do this in one take, I'll buy everyone an ice cream. 123 00:06:30,457 --> 00:06:32,658 GREG: Okay. BLAH: All right. 124 00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:36,261 That is so sweet considering the show is over budget... 125 00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:39,732 and the ice cream's coming out of your pocket. 126 00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:44,203 One scoop, people. If you want a topping, you're on your own, okay? 127 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,338 Let's go. Jack, put the bagel down, please. 128 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,273 Greg, lose the outfit. Dottie-- 129 00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:50,868 GREG: No. GlL: What? 130 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,512 I wanna wear this outfit on the show. 131 00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:56,215 But it doesn't work for your character. 132 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:59,551 How can my puppet clothes not work for my puppet character? 133 00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:02,721 Look, I'm proud of this outfit, and I want to wear it. 134 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:07,272 In the eighth grade, he said the same thing about leg warmers. 135 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:11,430 ALlSON: I love the clothes. I really do. GlL: We all do. 136 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,566 But, see, your outfit is a political statement... 137 00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:17,903 and it'll make it look like the network has an agenda. 138 00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:20,372 Doesn't the network support the puppet movement? 139 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:23,423 Of course we do. We just do it passively. 140 00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:27,840 I see. "Passively," as in not at all. 141 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:31,150 Look, these clothes are very important to puppets. 142 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:34,786 Within them is woven the fabric of our ancestors, literally. 143 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:37,623 I think this guy here invented the cure for googly eyes. 144 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:40,124 Okay. You caught us. 145 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:44,288 This is not a political thing, Greg... 146 00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:47,633 but the truth is, and it pains me to say this... 147 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,501 that outfit makes you look fat. 148 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:53,038 I mean really heavy. 149 00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:55,307 Yes. Absolutely. 150 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,808 Like, morbidly obese. 151 00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:02,801 You know people are gonna say, "What did he eat, Wilson Phillips?" 152 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,417 She's not fat anymore, but there's three of them. 153 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,286 GlL: I'm glad we cleared this up, Greg. 154 00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:10,255 So why don't you go back to your rabbit hole and come out... 155 00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:12,591 without the dreamcoat, on action? 156 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:14,993 Okay, fantastic. Here we go. 157 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,828 All right, we're back, everybody. 158 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:19,131 But no ice cream. You blew it. 159 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,265 [All groaning] 160 00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:24,327 All right, roll cameras. Ready, and action. 161 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:29,775 Hi, everyone. I'd like to invite you all to a surprise party for Greg. 162 00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:33,786 I hear him coming. Now don't forget to shout surprise. 163 00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:37,807 Surprise, Greg the Bunny! 164 00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:40,886 My name is no longer Greg the Bunny. 165 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,288 That was my fleshie name. 166 00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:47,599 From now on, I will only go by my Puppish name, Bazzlebob. 167 00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:50,095 No, wait. 168 00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:51,964 [Greg ponders] 169 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,465 Baconboat. No. 170 00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:58,437 All right, I appear to have spaced on my Puppish name... 171 00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:01,068 but I will get back to all of you. 172 00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:05,242 Benzadrine. Ben Vereen. No. 173 00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:09,582 All right. You know what? Check your e-mails, okay. 174 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:17,422 You know, they just want me to shut up and take my clothes off. 175 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,892 Why don't they get Warren to shut up and Dottie to take her clothes off? 176 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,262 They don't even seem to care that I am oppressed. 177 00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,696 You're not oppressed. 178 00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:27,599 When are you gonna get over this whole "poor puppet" phase? 179 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,102 GREG: It is not a phase. JlM: Yes, it is, Greg. 180 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:33,105 - You're the king of phases. - Shut up, Jimmy. I am not. 181 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:35,641 You acted like a Wookie for three days last month. 182 00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,643 I was playing. 183 00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:40,178 You slept in the costume and you answered the phone... 184 00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:41,280 [Roaring] 185 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:44,650 Yeah, for your information, some people found that funny. 186 00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:47,219 What about your two-week obsession with Buddhism? 187 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,730 I achieved enlightenment, didn't l? 188 00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:53,286 Yeah, but then you traded it for a clarinet. 189 00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:56,361 You know, Jimmy, think whatever you want... 190 00:09:56,362 --> 00:10:00,232 because I am a puppet, and that is no phase. That is for life. 191 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:04,736 I'm not going to spend the rest of that life at the beck and call of the man... 192 00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:06,772 [Pager beeping] 193 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,283 That's Hurbada Hymena. I gotta go. 194 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:12,144 [Door opening and closing] 195 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,645 See you later. 196 00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:18,382 [Soft rock music] 197 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:22,855 See? Flame retardant, but that's neither here nor there. 198 00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:27,959 I called you here today to talk to you about the future of puppet kind, Bizzleburp. 199 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,695 Bizzleburp. 200 00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,463 I want you to speak... 201 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,832 at the National Puppet Convention in El Paso. 202 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:36,168 They had the most attractive convention package. 203 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:40,839 You want me to speak at NATPUPCON? Sir, that would be my honor. 204 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:45,510 No, sir. The honor is mine. The honor is puppets. The honor is yours. 205 00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:48,246 We live in difficult times, Bizzleburp. 206 00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:52,084 These are trying times, and it's time we tried to triumph... 207 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:54,553 if the times try. 208 00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:57,216 Keep the boat afloat! 209 00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,258 Okay, it's just that I'm not very used to public speaking. 210 00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:03,969 One more thing before you go. Keep your eyes open. 211 00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:06,732 I've been catching up on Sweetknuckle Junction... 212 00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,166 and I'm mighty disappointed. 213 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,335 I'm still trying to find my character's voice-- 214 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,137 Puppet poppycock. 215 00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,873 Now, I'm very pleased with your performance, Bizzleburp. 216 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:19,044 Yet, I am perturbed by the way puppets are portrayed in your program. 217 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,675 And in your position of prominence... 218 00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:25,724 you need to penetrate and personify proper puppet power. 219 00:11:26,452 --> 00:11:27,786 With all due respect, sir... 220 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,021 I think Sweetknuckle Junction is a good show. 221 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:33,525 You know, it teaches so much, and it really is wholesome edutainment. 222 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:37,028 Perhaps you need to ask yourself what is it edutaining. 223 00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:38,296 Fleshie propaganda? 224 00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:41,099 Then you need to answer yourself, "Yes. " 225 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,868 I think it's time to decide... 226 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,304 what kind of message you want to present to the puppets of the world. 227 00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:49,574 That's a lot to think about, sir, but your hand is on fire. 228 00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:51,610 [Hymena gasping] 229 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,945 HYMENA: Hot! 230 00:11:53,946 --> 00:11:56,446 Keep the boat afloat! 231 00:11:57,984 --> 00:11:59,951 And when Dottie finishes her thing... 232 00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:03,242 that's when Greg paddles in and Jack says... 233 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:10,629 "What do you get when you add two pieces of ice with one piece of ice?" 234 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,631 - What? - Three-zing. 235 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,232 [Shivering] 236 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,834 GREG: Okay, cut! 237 00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:18,170 What? What cut? 238 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:20,872 I'm the one who yells cut, and we're not even rolling. 239 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:24,342 How come it's the human who can add to three and the puppet who can't? 240 00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:26,843 - For God's sake. - Here we go. 241 00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:29,247 Greg, you know, it's no big deal. 242 00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,550 Math involves the left side of the brain... 243 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:35,120 and we all know that that's where you guys keep your silly noises. 244 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:37,954 Look, I am not an idiot, Gil. Okay? 245 00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:42,561 Why can't the fleshie ask the question and the puppet have the answers? 246 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:45,062 It's the rhythm of the joke. 247 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:49,501 It's not funny when one person says, "Knock knock," and then the other says... 248 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:52,002 "l know who's there. It's Fred." 249 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,207 I think Greg is right. 250 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,610 Thank you. When the revolution comes, this will be noted. 251 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:02,180 My friend growing up, who was a puppet and who was my best friend... 252 00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:05,317 never felt that she had a good role model on TV. 253 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,912 Yes, the boy is absolutely right. 254 00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:12,023 They way we puppets are depicted on television is deplorable. 255 00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:13,658 You play a professor. 256 00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:16,709 Not a good one. I'm drunk half the time. 257 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,630 Why are you siding with him? 258 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,681 I want a mini-fridge in my dressing room. 259 00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:28,840 You can have the small square one, but not the taller rectangular one. 260 00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:31,771 Done and done. You're on your own, kid. 261 00:13:31,777 --> 00:13:34,871 Warren, you are a self-hating sock. 262 00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:38,350 A self-hating sock with a mini fridge. 263 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:41,953 All right. Don't expect to buy me off with conveniently cold beverages. 264 00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:44,454 Nobody's buying anybody off. 265 00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:47,993 Why? Is there something you want? 266 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:51,361 What I want is the respect that I deserve... 267 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:56,101 - and maybe a snow cone machine. - You don't even like snow cones. 268 00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,602 I like making them. 269 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,705 There's one pissed-off bunny. 270 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:04,042 I feel this is gonna end with puppets rioting in the streets. 271 00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:07,513 This is the Fozzie Bear verdict all over again. 272 00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:10,248 [Rhythmic instrumental music] 273 00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:12,749 [Horn honking] 274 00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:16,688 How about this? Junction Jack's foot gets caught on the railroad tracks... 275 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:21,026 because he's so stupid, and then the train bears down on him... 276 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:24,296 and it's got a big five on it. Jack has a number two on his head. 277 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,398 So logically, the only way out of this mess... 278 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,233 is for someone to do the subtraction. 279 00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:31,644 But the humans are like, "I'm a stupid human. 280 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:35,206 "l don't know nothing." So then I come in, and I save the day... 281 00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,943 because I'm the only one who can do the math. 282 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:41,947 If you've got a calculator on that, we can figure it out right now. 283 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,214 I don't know. 284 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:47,619 Come on, you guys. It's got a message. It's got math. It's got a train. 285 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,988 [Door opening] 286 00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,790 Shut the-- 287 00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:56,261 GREG: Guys, this is my roommate, Jimmy. Jimmy, this is Mushma and Rutagaba. 288 00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,762 Mush, Rat, who's fuzzing who? 289 00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:00,498 [Both groaning] 290 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:02,767 We're writing a script for Sweetknuckle Junction. 291 00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:05,270 We're trying to get the puppet perspective on things. 292 00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:08,261 I thought this was the puppet perspective. 293 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,276 [Gasping] 294 00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:13,311 I'm poking your foam. 295 00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:14,813 So what are you saying? 296 00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:18,224 Just because I'm a puppet, I'm made of foam? 297 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:20,752 You are made of foam. 298 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,888 So now I'm made of foam? Can you believe this guy? 299 00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,423 [Babbling] 300 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:28,126 Anyway, Greg, are you gonna be finished soon... 301 00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:31,297 because we're supposed to go play foosball? 302 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:34,234 We have a lot of important work to do. 303 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,468 I was talking to Greg. 304 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:41,079 There's no one here by the name of Greg. Is there, Bizzleburp? 305 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,241 Greg! 306 00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:46,578 Right, that's me. I'll tell you about the... 307 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,380 [Stammering] 308 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:52,511 - What was the question? - Are we playing foosball or what? 309 00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:56,052 [Tense instrumental music] 310 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:01,258 [Music playing] 311 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:04,396 Thanks for coming, man. You're a real bud. 312 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,031 Not like Greg. 313 00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,099 It's loud in here, Jimmy. 314 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,901 It's okay, Tardy. You're doing great. 315 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,803 Watch the ball. Tardy, watch it! 316 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,341 [Squealing] 317 00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:18,309 Uh-oh. 318 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,810 I made a smelly in my shelly. 319 00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:27,819 [Rock music] 320 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,888 Okay, people. Listen up, please. 321 00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:33,458 We're going to be tossing out our present scripts. 322 00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:34,559 What? 323 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,530 We will be performing a new script written for us by the good folks... 324 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:43,141 at the lnternational Puppet Alliance and our little friend, Greg. 325 00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:48,538 - Beetlejuice. - It's Bizzlebosh, I think. 326 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:52,077 And don't say Beetlejuice two more times. 327 00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:55,847 All right, let's just do it once and get it over with. Just to be clear... 328 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,650 - this has nothing to do with me. - Or me... 329 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,151 unless we win some kind of award. 330 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:05,090 You guys cover your asses faster than the new guy in D block. 331 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:08,681 Can we just do this, please? Here we go. Action. 332 00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:17,395 [All speaking Puppish] 333 00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:26,077 What the hell is this? 334 00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:29,547 It's Puppish. I speak a little. My best friend taught me. 335 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,616 Why are we doing a sketch in Puppish? 336 00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,518 Because it's a dying language... 337 00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:37,122 and kids today can't even count to whoop whoo. And that's a shame. 338 00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:40,413 Yeah, can we get on with this, please? Jack. 339 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:44,924 [Speaking Puppish] 340 00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:46,264 [Blah clears throat] 341 00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:49,434 Dottie, no. You just cursed out the archbishop. 342 00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:50,702 Oh, dear. 343 00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:54,038 You need to blend the "eckle" and the "iddle" more. 344 00:17:54,039 --> 00:17:55,774 [Speaking Puppish] 345 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:58,275 [Blah correcting in Puppish] 346 00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:05,917 Okay, she wasn't my friend. She was my maid, okay? 347 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:09,888 My maid was a puppet. Is that what you wanted to hear? 348 00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,389 Does that make you happy? 349 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:13,591 [Crying] 350 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,093 My maid's a puppet. 351 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,196 She's terrible, but she's illegal, so I can pay her dirt. 352 00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:21,966 Come on, Gregory. Admit this is another one of your phases... 353 00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:24,502 and let's be done with this nonsense. 354 00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:26,571 Don't make us go through this the same way... 355 00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:28,439 you did that stupid Wookie crap. 356 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,705 - You're stupid, Jack. - No, you are. 357 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,609 [Both arguing] 358 00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:37,881 No, you... 359 00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:41,685 You win this round, Jack. 360 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,890 Okay, just for the record, she ate with us. 361 00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:47,590 [Groans] 362 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:52,564 Stupid fleshie, thinks just because he's 6 feet tall that he's bigger than me. 363 00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:53,998 Bizzleburp. 364 00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:55,066 [Greg yelling] 365 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,567 GREG: Hurbada. 366 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:02,881 Oh, my God! You scared my short and curlies right off. 367 00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:06,042 What are you doing here? 368 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,348 [Greg agrees] 369 00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:17,787 [Greg agrees] 370 00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:26,898 [Greg agrees] 371 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,000 Fine, I'll say it in English. 372 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,803 We want you to stop living with your roommate. 373 00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,972 [Greg exclaims] 374 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:37,675 My God, it gets worse. This page is only punctuation. 375 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:42,547 No, but if you relax your eyes, you can see kind of a three-dimensional dolphin. 376 00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:44,916 What are we going to do about Gregory? 377 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,117 DOTTlE: I don't know. 378 00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,152 What's Puppish for straitjacket? 379 00:19:48,153 --> 00:19:52,657 I say we fire the kid, so I can knock down the wall between our dressing rooms. 380 00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:53,825 Hey! 381 00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:57,295 Why don't you give him a break? Instead of stabbing him in the back... 382 00:19:57,296 --> 00:20:00,398 why don't you try showing him a little support in the front? 383 00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:04,168 Let's face it, humans have been mistreating puppets for centuries. 384 00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:08,306 It's nothing new. We lure them to our country with the tartar sauce... 385 00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:12,243 and the lollipops and the empty promises of sparklers... 386 00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:14,345 which I believe, as yet, are unfulfilled. 387 00:20:14,346 --> 00:20:17,815 - Tardy, did you get your sparklers? - I'm tough but nice. 388 00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:21,219 Yeah, that's what I thought. And then we trade their hides... 389 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,522 for cheap whisky during the War of the Roses. 390 00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:25,757 DOTTlE: Is that true? BLAH: No. 391 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:29,594 We had them build our airplanes and our suspension bridges... 392 00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:32,655 and our jet packs and our race cars... 393 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:36,267 but can you name me one puppet that's ever taken home the trophy... 394 00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:40,534 at the Minneapolis 500? I dare you. Can you? No. 395 00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:42,473 I understood the Puppish better. 396 00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:46,672 Now, look. What's really at issue here is our friend... 397 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:49,647 and how we're gonna stick up for him. 398 00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:52,617 So whether you like these changes or not, I don't care. 399 00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:56,088 You need to admire one thing about Bizzleburp... 400 00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:58,822 and that is his commitment... 401 00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,359 and his perseverance... 402 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,428 and his never-say-die attitude. 403 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:06,839 Three things you should admire about Bizzleburp. 404 00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:09,399 GREG: You know what? 405 00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:11,369 Call me Greg. 406 00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:14,939 Warren, I stuffed your mini-fridge full of Hurbada Hymena. 407 00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,440 [All exclaiming] 408 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:25,083 GREG: The philosopher Wittgenstein wrote since it's through language that we think... 409 00:21:25,084 --> 00:21:26,918 it is language that limits us. 410 00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:30,154 While the Puppish language may have 16 words for furry... 411 00:21:30,155 --> 00:21:32,623 it apparently has no word for Jimmy. 412 00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,124 If you ask me, that just blows. 413 00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:41,933 GREG: That's fascinating, sir, but your hand is on fire. 414 00:21:41,934 --> 00:21:43,201 HYMENA: It's not. GREG: It is. 415 00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:46,938 HYMENA: We're done here. GREG: Your hand is on fire. 416 00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:49,439 [Hymena grunts] 417 00:21:49,775 --> 00:21:51,676 [Hymena exclaiming in pain] 418 00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:54,177 GREG: Your hand is on fire. 419 00:21:58,217 --> 00:21:59,650 I know. 420 00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:01,052 [People laughing] 421 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:03,553 Hi, Mom. 422 00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:06,422 Call 911. 423 00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:09,225 What a freak.