NEWSCASTER: Experts now say
the enemy robot was
a mechanical- organic hybrid
of unknown design and origin.
If not for the return of Titan
Maximum, civilian casualties
could have numbered in the
thousands...
Admiral?
Titan Force Five is here.
Uuuuuuuuuuuugghh.
I'm saying get a second
monkey, we can even name it
Jodi, like Jodi Two.
You're the pilot who doesn't
know a yoke from a vibrator!
So our team would be...
Dude, hot chick, nerd,
monkey, monkey.
Girls, girls, relax.
God. You both sucked equally.
BOTH: What?
Admiral! There he is!
B- to the itchface.
Now look, I'm sure you are
rarin' to put some medals
on our chests and all.
First things first,
we busted our robot.
So we're gonna need about
a hundred billion for a re-design
and oh another twenty for, uh...
Willie! What's the name?
Nunchuks!
Made out of lasers!
Yes!
Laser-ass nunchuks!
Um, I scribbled this on
the way over, and, well, it's
not to scale or anything, but...
Okay, ignore him.
Let's break out the champagne
while you write the check!
Commander Palmer...
Lieutenants...
Nerd...
Monkey...
On behalf of the entire navy...
get the fuck
outta my office!
Sir?
The happiest day of my life
was retiring that damn robot.
Pardon my french...
We just saved the whole world!
Yeah, and by the way...
Again!
And thank you kindly.
But dealing with you idiots on
a daily basis is an uncommon
brand of hell I'm not about to
suffer through again.
Oh, were you talking
about that delicious, uncommon
brand called awesome?
Really?
Let me refresh your memory.
Welcome, one and all,
to the grand unveiling of...
the statue of unity!
Let her mighty book be
a siren's call to all those
who seek...
Oh, my God!
It's Titan Maximum!
♪ [scatting] ♪
♪ Titan back, Titan back ♪
♪ [singing] ♪
ALL: * [muffled singing] *
Um, people...
[nervous laugh]
Just part of the show-
Oh my God!
Titan Maximum's raping
the Statue of Unity!
I find that anecdote
charming.
Get out!
Sir, Gibbs is still
out there!
I've got...
We've got to bring him to
justice!
Gibbs dumped her.
It was brutal.
We've already traced his ship
back to Erriapus.
Gibbs will be in custody within
the hour.
No control panel.
We'll have to blow this door.
Blow the door?
On the first date?
All right, let's
Fourth-of-July this mother!
The most wanted man in
the solar system is in there,
and I wanna punch him right
in the ballbag while we still
have the element of surprise.
Uugggh!
OI' Admiral Bitchface
strikes again!
Uh, well, maybe if you
didn't call him names,
he wouldn't be so-
that is his name, stupid.
From the German "Bichfass."
Just like your name is
Willie, but everyone calls you
"Dickhead."
They do?
That's the same thing.
Willie, dickhead.
Well, there goes our ass.
Guys, fuck this.
I'm on it.
...then Martian scientists
and Martian investigators must
be allowed to examine
the monster's remains!
Mr. Prime Minister,
this is so far an isolated event
and you will of course be kept
apprised of all our findings.
Good day.
...you martian dipstick.
Ahem!
[Chuckles]
Sir, sir?
Your daughter is here.
Uuuuuuuuuuuugghh.
Send her in.
Hello, sweetheart.
Daddy!
My robot broke.
Make them buy me a new one.
Right, well you see...
Daddy.
New.
Robot.
Honey... You know I never
approved of you flying around
in that thing.
Uh, so what?
Titan Maximum
is expensive and unnecessary
during peacetime...
Um, duh?
Duh?
Unnecessary?
It was necessary like five
minutes ago!
Yes, but once Gibbs
is arrested...
Daddy, I'm bored
without the robot!
My life sucks ass
without the robot!
The robot makes me cool.
Baby girl, life is not about
being cool!
Life has nothing to do with
being cool!
I mean... Dammit, Sasha!
Maybe instead of a new robot,
you need to, I don't know,
grow the hell up!
You're the President's
daughter, for God's sake!
Stop playing pilot like
it's some kind of dress-up game,
stop acting like a damn fool in
those sexy clubs, use your head
for once and actually do
something with your life!
I... I use my head.
Oh, honey...
I'm, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have yelled.
Okay, so can I have the robot?
Fine!
This is gonna be
one big explosion.
You want a big explosion?
Tell my mother-in-law her
cooking sucks.
Dammit, Plinkerson, military
statute 44B-1 B might dictate
that every squad contains
a jester for the purposes of,
"comedic relief in the form of
ironic lightheartedness during
stressful field operations,"
but mister, I sure do not
have to like it.
I'm sorry!
God, I never wanted to join
the Jester Corps! I signed up
to be a Systems Analyst!
I know I'm not funny!
I'm the least funny person
I know!
Fire in the hole!
Aaaaaaaaaaggh!
I'm so pissed!
Any luck?
He's just a dumb, old-ass
man with a head full of
dumb-ass crap!
Well, he did...
Shut up about my father,
Jodi!
We just saved the entire Moon!
For the billionth time!
How has everyone forgotten
already?
Then make them remember!
What?
You're Titan Force Five!
I mean, you guys are like
black-belts in the most amazing
skill of all!
What skill?
Being famous!
Who the hell is that?
[Giggles]
My name's Clare!
Uh... Hi there!
Don't be scared, darlin'...
I'm not!
Are you hurt?
Oh, I don't get hurt.
Not like you!
Huh?
[Clare giggles]
Blips?!?
Nooooo!
Do your job, Plinkerson!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
Knock knock! Who's there?
Oh, God I don't want to die
like thiiiiis!!!
[Giggling]
Orange you glad I didn't
say banana?
REPORTER: The crowd outside
the Capitol has swelled to tens
of thousands, in furious
protest of the decision to
abandon Titan Maximum!
Son of a bitch.
Demonstrators have
already attempted to burn
President Caylo in effigy,
but the effigy turned out to be
a startled homeless man.
[Man screaming]
Admiral, emergency
transmission from Erriapus.
Put it through!
Sergeant?!?
They're gone, sir!
They're all gone!
What happened, man?
Her backpack...
It's a froggy...
Damn it, no!
Kisses, you old bastard.
[Growls]
Come on!
Everybody with me!
You let those pencil-pushing,
penny-pinching pinheads know
that you are piiiiiissed!
Um...
if you want Titan Maximum back,
be really loud!
[Crowd roars]
Whooooo-hoooo!!!
[Cheering continues]
Huh? Boobs!
Oh my God, the people
are going blood crazy!
Sir, Admiral
Bitchface is on the line.
Mr. President,
Erriapus was a disaster.
Gibbs wiped out my whole team.
What?
But- but you said-
Cripes!
Sir, your daughter is
mimicking fellatio on a...
not now!
Aww, fuck it, Admiral!
Love them or hate them, we've
got to bring back Titan Maximum!
Sir, sir, now your daughter
is mimicking fellatio on two...
I don't want to know!
Has anyone seen
my glove compartment?
I um, really need to find
that glove compartment.
Man, Titan Maximum
got effed up!
Hey, is that
a glove compartment?
This is...
the greatest day
of my liiiife!
Well, you win.
The President has authorized
ten million Zurichs to
reconstruct Titan Maximum.
Really?
Ha ha! Yay!
Hey, hey, yeah
whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on.
Ten million is chump change.
Oh, and by the way...
He's your engineer.
No way!
But he's an idiot!
We can't spare engineers.
And according to your brother's
dossier, he has an engineering
degree.
From Devry!
I have a dossier?
Sir, the President agreed
to five hundred million Zurichs
for Titan Maximum.
Take the balance, funnel it
into the other account.
Project Colostomy...
is a go.
Looks like we got
our work cut out for us.
Neptune just reported
a seismic disruption.
It's identical to the one that
the monster caused on Titan.
We're on it.
But Titan Maximum isn't ready!
Get with the program,
Willie.
Half-assed is our way of life.
Uh, can I pee first?
No you may not!
Uh, how do we go to the
bathroom in deep space?
We go in our suits, Willie.
They're designed for it.
Cool!
What? No we go in...
Jodi. We go in our suits.
[Chuckles]
Whoa!
Usually Titan black handles
like a lead duck!
Great job on the new
control interface, Willie!
Thanks.
Neptune flight plan should
be on your nav panel now, Palmer.
Nah-nah-nah-nah,
we'll get to that.
But first, I'm thinking
we should introduce our adoring
public to the new Titan Maximum.
Right!
ALL: Titan Maximum!
Um, yeah, sorry,
didn't have time
to finish the face, so...
I'm sure it's fine, Willie!
Ugh, idiots!
I knew it would suck.
One of those damn fools
has been peein' in his suit!