1
00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:04,350
<i>Previously on Weeds.</i>

2
00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:07,759
"Whore."

3
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:09,751
Fucking pregnant again.

4
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,229
Some Indian kid I mercy fucked for U-Turn.

5
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,676
Ain't nothing to say, faggot,
except "send money."

6
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:18,069
- I thought you were dating me.
- I am.

7
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:20,151
So I'm just something for you
to rub up against.

8
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:21,280
Silas, don't do this.

9
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,794
Thug means never having to say you're sorry.

10
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,519
- Kids need to know if there's danger.
- What kind of danger?

11
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,158
Big, scary men with guns.

12
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,671
I've been doing some research on the internet
and I really think Pittsburgh is the place for us.

13
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:33,988
That little thing's a camera?

14
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,275
I can broadcast the image
to any computer in the house.

15
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:41,480
Dumb-name will know my wrath,
the wrath of Doug. It's coming.

16
00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:44,791
- Andy, meet Chess.
- You wanna buy from me?

17
00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,919
Why don't you let Ms Botwin know
it's available if she's interested?

18
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,991
Oh, yeah. I'm bad. Punish me.

19
00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,115
(Giggles)

20
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,835
You will start paying
for the many sins against me.

21
00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,752
I need to rent your empty house.

22
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,513
We need a grow house.
Can you deal with that?

23
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:03,635
Slut.

24
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:17,039
<i>(Laurie Berkner)</i>
<i># Little boxes on the hillside</i>

25
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<i>♪ Little boxes made of ticky-tacky</i>

26
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,954
<i>♪ Little boxes on the hillside</i>

27
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,474
<i>♪ Little boxes all the same</i>

28
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,438
<i>♪ There's a green one and a pink one</i>

29
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<i>♪ And a blue one and a yellow one</i>

30
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,953
<i>♪ And they're all made out of ticky-tacky</i>

31
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,918
<i>♪ And they all lookjust the same</i>

32
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,151
<i>♪ And the people in the houses</i>

33
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,431
<i>♪ All went to the university</i>

34
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,034
<i>♪ Where they were put in boxes</i>

35
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,112
<i>♪ And they all came out the same</i>

36
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,476
<i>♪ And there's doctors and lawyers</i>

37
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,233
<i>♪ And business executives</i>

38
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,676
<i>♪ And they're all made out of ticky-tacky</i>

39
00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:01,912
<i>♪ And they all lookjust the same ♪

40
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:24,477
And where were you last night, young lady?

41
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:25,549
Sinner.

44
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,792
You think our customers might be interested

45
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:39,475
in some lovely outdoor-grown biker bammy?

46
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:41,515
How did it get in here?

47
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,670
Oh, it wasn't easy. Let me say that right now.

48
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:44,909
And getting it outta here?

49
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,798
Ooh, I'm gonna say near impossible on that one.

50
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,713
Make the impossible possible, Doug.

51
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,268
Why don't I come back
after you've had your coffee?

52
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:54,429
Yeah, why don't you?

53
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,909
I think it wouldn't be a terrible idea

54
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,639
if we had an alternative source for weed.

55
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,280
- Bikers?
- Motorcycle club.

56
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,713
They're great.

57
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,631
It's a family business, brother and sister.

58
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,790
- You met a biker girl?
- No.

59
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,160
Yeah. No. She's not a girl. She's a woman.

60
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,633
Of course she is.

61
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:13,835
Discussion over.

62
00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:16,593
But this has nothing to do with her.
It's an opportunity.

63
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,399
- Where were you all night?
- I was working.

64
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,471
You have a working mother, Shane.

65
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:22,515
Them's the breaks.

66
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,751
What's wrong with offering
another choice to our clients?

67
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,319
They aren't looking for choices.

68
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,470
People are too overwhelmed by choice.

69
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,471
- They seek simplicity.
- I'm not buying it.

70
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:35,951
This is a culture where you can order
coffee 80 million ways, and people love it.

71
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,996
Chess just wants you to think about it.

72
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,599
Chess...

73
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,830
wants me to think about it?

74
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,560
How does Chess know what I do?

75
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,710
Yeah. That was kinda creepy.

76
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,518
He seemed to know a lot about you.

77
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,238
That's not good.

78
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,278
Right, Shane. Very observant.
That's not good.

79
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:59,277
Don't cock-block me on this, Nance.
She's really hot.

80
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,318
See how many bricks he'll trade me
for a giant cross.

81
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,358
How the hell did he get it in here?

82
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,396
I believe it's a miracle.

83
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,318
I don't believe in miracles.

84
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,430
I believe in Pittsburgh.

85
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,719
I swear I think the sky is bluer over here.

86
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:24,352
No graffiti, no drunks and junkies.
Shoot, I'll take it. How long we staying?

87
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,874
This is temporary, little girl.
And don't kid yourself.

88
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,996
There's plenty of drunks
and junkies out here.

89
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,799
They just ain't on the corner
cos they got air-conditioning.

90
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- Morning.
- (Heylia) Morning.

91
00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:35,111
(Laughs)

92
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,270
- Did you hear how high her voice got?
- Mm-hm.

93
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,032
She think we gonna jump her. (Laughs)

94
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,280
That's why we gonna be just fine.

95
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,032
How do you figure?

96
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,554
There's only one thing
more powerful than white fear...

97
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,119
- Mm.
...and that's white guilt.

98
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,430
- Mm.
- Now, they say, "Good morning,"

99
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,080
but what they're really saying is,
"I'm not racist."

100
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,832
Look at this one coming up here.

101
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,912
- Hello, there. How are you?
- (Heylia) Good morning to you.

102
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,753
Ooh, yeah.

103
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:02,674
They gonna treat us like Maya Angelou
and Condoleezza Rice.

104
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,955
(Vaneeta laughs)

105
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:16,716
So, how we doing here?

106
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:20,554
Well, a lot of the plants
that were ready for harvest didn't make it,

107
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,154
and we're dealing with a lot less space here.

108
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,679
You are asking about the crop?

109
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,955
Yes. I'm asking about the crop.

110
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,157
- I'm running low.
- I can't fill you back up right now.

111
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,999
- I'm thinking of opening up another supply line.
- With who?

112
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:40,073
There's this biker chick that Andy wants to fuck
and a guy named Chess.

113
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,594
18-foot cross in my house... I don't know.

114
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,150
Well, it's gonna be a little dry
around here for a while.

115
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,356
Then I'll do it.

116
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,832
Ooh, Lord!

117
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,878
I can smell this house
from two fucking blocks away.

118
00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,316
Smells like a skunk massacre
happening up in here.

119
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:04,280
- What you gonna do?
- How about this for a game plan?

120
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,999
I grow inside,
you and Vaneeta grow outside.

121
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,593
Rosemary, lavender.

122
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,831
Fine. As soon as I make
a little something to eat, I'll get to it.

123
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:15,591
(Whispers) You need a shower.

124
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:20,235
- What, you don't want to stay and help?
- I haven't got the green thumb.

125
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,280
She just got the white attitude.

126
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,475
Yeah. That's all I'm saying, Bill.

127
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:31,519
We substitute the cheap drywall
from China, it'll save us a ton.

128
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:33,475
(Chuckles)

129
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,080
<i>(# Lavender Diamond:</i>
<i>You Broke My Heart)</i>

130
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,755
- Hey, there. How you doin'?
- I'm gonna have to call you back.

131
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,280
You know, I hope for Nancy's sake

132
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:09,349
that you used a condom.

133
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,720
God forbid you should replicate.

134
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,632
God bless you all.

135
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,352
My decorator.

136
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,715
We're doing a little remodelling.

137
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,756
(Tyres squeal)

138
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,032
I want to be part of the team,
one of the cool kids.

139
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,076
What can I do?
What can I do? What can I do?

140
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,913
Ain't nothing for you to do
but collect your rent every month.

141
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,560
Oh, sure.
Everyone gets to have fun except me.

142
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,279
Well, fuck that shit. I am here to kick ass!

143
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:53,236
- Whose ass?
- Whoever gets in my way. Come on.

144
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,914
Let me do something fun. Come on. Please.

145
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,992
I am on a real high here.
Do not bring me down.

146
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,230
OK, Gangster Barbie,
I will figure something out.

147
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,629
You'll see. I'm good. I'm ready.

148
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,757
I will not disappoint you.
I'll be a great soldier.

149
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,432
I'm sure you will. Hold this.

150
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,680
I'm helping Daddy, aren't I?

151
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,751
(Laughs)

152
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,155
Whoa!

153
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,352
What took you so long?
I texted you over two hours ago.

154
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,399
- You're not my only customer, Sully.
- I really need to smoke out.

155
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,313
I'll bet. What happened?

156
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,358
It's just a signal
that it's time for me to move on.

157
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:45,992
Forward to my next
shitty, prefab Jesus town.

158
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:50,039
Hey, you know
I take this Jesus stuff seriously.

159
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,509
- Sorry.
- Shame you have to go.

160
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,390
You're one of my best customers.

161
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:56,959
You could go with me.

162
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,235
Huh. No, thanks.

163
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:03,677
I'm happy here
in my shitty, prefab Jesus town.

164
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,349
Shame.

165
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:11,358
<i>(Chess) What can I do for you, Pot Mommy?</i>

166
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,398
My horny lieutenant tells me
you may have some product for me.

167
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,311
Oh, now. Low on the MILF, huh?

168
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,990
You seem to know so much about me.
I know nothing about you.

169
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,035
Doesn't seem fair.

170
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,350
You should've checked out
my Facebook page.

171
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,556
Hey, wanna play some Risk?

172
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:27,789
- I'm in.
- Andy.

173
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,235
- What?
- Mommy's all business, I see.

174
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:34,472
You know what? OK.
Let me show you what I got for you. Hm?

175
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:38,348
Risk is all about Kamchatka.
That's your gateway to the West.

176
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,635
Uh-huh? Think you're telling me
something I don't know?

177
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,473
Your housewives will love it.

178
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,676
Make 'em forget
that their husbands won't fuck 'em.

179
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,871
- How much?
- Five for a pound.

180
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:50,595
That's a fair price.

181
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,673
Yeah.

182
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,432
For a full pound.

183
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:58,353
Yeah, it might be a little short. You're good.

184
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:01,796
All right, tell you what, 10% discount. Mm?

185
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,075
You know what,
take the first one on consignment.

186
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,720
Why would you go
and do something like that?

187
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,711
Cos I can tell you'll be a loyal customer.

188
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:10,677
I'm all about loyal customers.

189
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:14,469
But you bring me back that five grand real soon.

190
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:19,156
Er, 10% off is, erm, $4500, right?

191
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,152
- Yeah.
- Chess, is it?

192
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,510
- Yeah.
- Is that short for Chester?

193
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,033
No.

194
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,395
It is. He hates it.

195
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,152
- See you soon, Pot Mommy.
- See you soon, Chester.

196
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,953
Hey, I challenge you to a game,
one-on-one.

197
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,795
- Winner takes all.
- All of what?

198
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,955
Oh, winner takes all, Nance!

199
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,996
(Laughs)

200
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,233
(Alarm)

201
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,152
Uncle Andy?!

202
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:05,714
Silas?

203
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:09,635
Mom?

204
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,269
Mom?

205
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,110
Mom? Mom?

206
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,280
(Dogs bark)

207
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,077
(Alarm continues)

208
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:33,553
Front door. Side. Back.

209
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,509
(Alarm stops)

210
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,789
Hey.

211
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,835
Yeah, it's just a bug in the system.

212
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,759
Ugh.

213
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,912
(Sighs) This is so not what I had in mind.

214
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:04,472
Conrad said you wanted to get dirty.
Now you're dirty.

215
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,549
Hand me some more of that sage, Princess.

216
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:11,235
Make it smell Italian out here
instead of Jamaican.

217
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:16,999
These hands went to college.
Majored in English Lit.

218
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,310
These are not farm hands.

219
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,713
(Sighs)

220
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:31,317
What? I'm part Viking. I miss my ice floe.

221
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,470
Look to me like hot flashes.

222
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,995
- You taking oestrogen?
- Can't.

223
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,718
(Whispers) Cancer.

224
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:45,749
- You?
- Shit. I tried HRT, ERT, and herbs.

225
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,068
Mm...

226
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,515
vodka and cigarettes,
only thing that works for me.

227
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,951
- Fuck this. Let's light up.
- Here you go.

228
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,474
Conrad expects us
to finish this planting today.

229
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,471
Fuck Conrad. He in the shade.

230
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:01,919
Yeah, but...

231
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,432
You got a boyfriend, Heylia?
Husband? Lover?

232
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,353
Is he a piece of shit, lying asshole?

233
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,398
I had my share of them,
but I'm taking a break,

234
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:13,959
maybe a lifetime break.

235
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,952
I think I'm doomed to be alone.

236
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,438
- Ain't no shame in it.
- (Whispers) But I get lonely.

237
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:24,998
- Buy yourself a dog.
- No, I'm not good with animals.

238
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,992
- Men and animals.
- Men are animals.

239
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:29,991
(Both laugh)

240
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,390
Listen to both of you.
Two of the scariest bitches on the planet.

241
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,708
No wonder nothing with a dick

242
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,916
wants to come within 100 yards
of either of you.

243
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:41,278
I don't see nothing that has to
stand up to pee in your life neither.

244
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,316
So shut the fuck up, Vaneeta.

245
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,914
Yeah, shut the fuck up, Vaneeta.

246
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,754
(Both laugh)

247
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:55,628
"And Herod with his soldiers treated him
with contempt and mocked him.

248
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,837
"Then, arraying him in gorgeous apparel,
he sent him back to Pilate."

249
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:03,835
Oh, for God's sake,
get to the punch line already before I die.

250
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:09,278
It's no joke, Mr Mertes.
It's the crucifixion story. Luke, chapter 23.

251
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,715
Remember?
Where we left off last week?

252
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:16,271
- You read the Bible to me last week?
- Yes. I read it to you every week.

253
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,113
OK. This weed sucks.

254
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,954
We were low on MILF,
so we had to go to a new grower.

255
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,837
Well, it's ditch weed drag.

256
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,798
Don't let it happen again.
I'm on borrowed time.

257
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,997
This is not quality.
I am so sorry, Mr Mertes.

258
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,310
Silas, make her give me my money back.

259
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,833
This new weed sucks.

260
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:39,311
I know. Nobody wants it. I told Mom.
We'll refund you, Mr Mertes.

261
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,631
Good. Now I got to take a whiz.

262
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:46,429
If I'm not out in ten, do not resuscitate.

263
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:51,756
So you're talking to me? You missed me?

264
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:54,479
- You pissed me off.
- Cos you like me.

265
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,235
- Because I like you.
- I like you, too.

266
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,793
I'm not... good at sharing.

267
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:08,032
Well, this you don't have
to share with anyone.

268
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,636
Only for you.

269
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,836
(Toilet flushes)

270
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,917
- (Mr Mertes) A little help here!
- You should go help him.

271
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,752
In a minute.

272
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,280
Bad boy. (Laughs)

273
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,952
- You love it.
- I do.

274
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,998
(Mr Mertes) Wait, hang on. There's more.

275
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,358
This is inferior product.

276
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:36,513
- Planning a big night on the town, are we?
- Not with this shit I'm not.

277
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,280
You got to hook me up with better weed.
They wouldn't even buy this at the Manhole,

278
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,838
and they smoke everything.

279
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:42,909
I'm sure they do.

280
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:47,357
I've got unsatisfied customers.
My reputation is suspect.

281
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,351
That outfit is suspect.

282
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,475
(Laughs)

283
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,597
- Don't try to change the subject.
- We're out of MILF.

284
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,990
Gonna be at least a week
before we have more.

285
00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,470
Well, hurry up, OK?
Clinique is putting the screws to me.

286
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,552
We're having a sonogram tomorrow,
and those things aren't cheap.

287
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:09,078
- Do you think you're ready to be a father?
- Do I look like I am ready to be a father?!

288
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:10,912
(Sighs)

289
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,308
Terrific.

290
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,238
I'm always curious
about my customer's choices.

291
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,478
Yeah. I think this one chose me.

292
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,439
Care to elaborate?

293
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:33,479
It just reminds me that "thug" means
never having to say you're sorry.

294
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,431
- Don't you mean love?
- Absolutely not.

295
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,033
Ahh.

296
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,270
Love means you're constantly apologising.

297
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,917
Tell me about it.

298
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,958
I should get "I'm sorry, baby"
tattooed on my ass.

299
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,280
Why don't you?

300
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,953
I already got a giant eagle
chained to a rock there.

301
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:56,478
- Looking good. Wanna take a look?
- Yeah.

302
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:02,599
- Came out nice.
- Yeah.

303
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,911
You have something for me?

304
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,713
Ohh.

305
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:13,749
Thank you, Pot Mommy. And here you go.

306
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,798
Erm, I don't think our business
arrangement's gonna work out.

307
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:18,794
And why's that?

308
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,235
My customers
don't seem to like your product.

309
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,072
Wait. My shit is good.

310
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,994
Oh, no. Don't take it personally.
You grow Merlot, they prefer Cabernet.

311
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,593
Your customers sound gay.

312
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,797
Some of them are.
Most of them just don't like your weed.

313
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:37,036
Here's for the pound
you loaned me on consignment.

314
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:39,872
Good faith.

315
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,520
I wish you luck in all future endeavours.

316
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:48,559
So, see you around. Wear a helmet.
Follow safety laws.

317
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:52,280
Wait, wait, wait. I'm disappointed.

318
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:56,280
Are you absolutely sure
that we can't do business, huh?

319
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,589
- I am.
- That's a shame.

320
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,839
But just to show you
that there's no hard feelings,

321
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:06,310
I'd like to take you to dinner.
Give you a chance to get to know me.

322
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,391
I don't mix the business with the personal.

323
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,914
According to you,
we're not doing the business any more.

324
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,834
- We're not doing the personal, either.
- Tell you what, you think about it.

325
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,071
You weigh the pros and the cons,
and I'll be in touch.

326
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,470
Touch yourself, Chester. I gotta go.

327
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,073
Bye.

328
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,075
Girl's got balls.

329
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,873
Yeah, she does.

330
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,918
But who wants a chick with fuckin' balls?

331
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,638
Jesus, Doug.

332
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,038
"Whore."

333
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,951
Hello to you, too.

334
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,270
I've been doing a little light reading.

335
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:17,034
(Chuckles)
Hell did that cross get in there?

336
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,872
How the fuck?

337
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,873
Doug snuck it in on Sanjay's shift,
wired it, the whole thing.

338
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,990
Mangoes, apricots.

339
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,911
Nice supermarkets y'all got.

340
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,151
Yes. We blow a loud horn of plenty out here.

341
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,438
- That kind of day?
- Only kind I know.

342
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:44,508
What the fuck...

343
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,278
Oh, yeah.

344
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,075
Please tell me
you have a thing for traffic signs.

345
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,628
I got a thing for these figs.
They're delicious.

346
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,392
You fucked him?

347
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,280
That's none of your business.

348
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,430
OK. Get the fuck outta here.

349
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,239
What, you think you're the first black man
I've been with?

350
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,912
- I'm not?
- You know he's called U-Turn?

351
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,594
- OK, now you're just obscene.
- Come on.

352
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,159
I never slept with U-Turn.

353
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,428
Just gave him a hand job.

354
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,079
- OK, so now you're fucking with me.
- You think?

355
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,037
Do I believe you?

356
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,350
You'd better if you want to get lucky tonight.

357
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,120
- Why would you do that?
- Mess with you or get the tattoo?

358
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,315
The fucking tattoo.

359
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,997
I thought it would make me stronger.

360
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,118
Question is...

361
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,469
you got a thing for women
who got a thing for traffic signs?

362
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,676
That motherfucker caused us nothing but pain.

363
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,115
Motherfucker's dead. We're alive.

364
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,031
- That's true.
- Now shut up and taste this.

365
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,993
What city has 720 bridges
and 15 in its downtown alone?

366
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,280
- I'm gonna guess, Pittsburgh.
- Correct.

367
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,999
- And what city has the first robotics institute?
- Nance?

368
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,638
Pittsburgh.

369
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,951
Carnegie Mellon University.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Correct.

370
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,349
- Where was the first Big Mac sold?
- Pittsburgh.

371
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,556
- The first World Series?
- Uh-hurgh.

372
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,280
- The first aluminium building?
- Silas?

373
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,989
- Wrong. Pittsburgh.
- My God. What happened to you?

374
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,036
I was driving home. Stopped at a light.

375
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:21,075
- Ow, ow!
- Sorry...

376
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,434
(Nancy) Go get a rag.

377
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:23,919
- I stopped at a light.
- I heard.

378
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,355
And what happened? Look at you.

379
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,318
Three... Three guys on motorcycles
pulled me out of the car.

380
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,470
How many motorcycles in Pittsburgh?

381
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:35,109
They said they're coming after you.
They're coming after all of us.

382
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,599
I don't know. I need to look it up.

383
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,875
You need a doctor. Come on.
We're going to a doctor.

384
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,632
(Alarm)

385
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:41,948
Jesus Christ, Shane!

386
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:46,158
There are many safe, ethnically diverse
neighbourhoods in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

387
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,829
I'm glad you asked. There's Allentown,
Arlington, Arlington Heights,

388
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,957
- Banksville, Beechview, Bloomfield...
- How do you turn the alarm off?

389
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,280
...Greenfield, Hays, Hazelwood...
- Shane!

390
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,078
- Lawrenceville, Mount Washington...
- Hey, buddy!

391
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,435
...North Shore, Oakwood,
Ridgemont, South Shore,

392
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,512
Spring Hill, Squirrel Hill,
St Clair, Summer Hill, Windgap.

393
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:07,752
- I can also do them backwards.
- Shane, who are you talking to?

394
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,312
Dad.

395
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:17,672
Can too! Windgap, Summer Hill, St Clair,
Squirrel Hill, Spring Hill,

396
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:21,309
South Shore, Ridgemont, Oakwood,
North Shore, Mount Washington,

397
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,517
Lawrenceville, Knoxville,
Highland Park, Hazelwood, Hays,

398
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,910
Greenfield, Brookline, Bluff,
Bloomfield, Beechview,

399
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,356
Banksville, Arlington Heights,
Arlington, Allentown.

400
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,117
<i>(# Beirut: Scenic World)</i>

401
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,952
<i>♪ The lights go on</i>

402
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,634
<i>♪ The lights go off</i>

403
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:46,078
<i>♪ When things don't feel right</i>

404
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:51,359
<i>♪ When I feel alive</i>

405
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:56,639
<i>♪ I try to imagine a careless life</i>

406
00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:03,478
<i>♪ A scenic world where the sunsets are all</i>

407
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,711
<i>♪ Breathtaking</i>

408
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,998
<i>♪ Breathtaking ♪</i>

