1 00:00:01,490 --> 00:00:04,484 Kids, there are two big days in any love story: 2 00:00:04,585 --> 00:00:06,936 The day you meet the girl of your dreams, 3 00:00:06,937 --> 00:00:08,572 and the day you marry her. 4 00:00:41,505 --> 00:00:44,340 Nice! Where'd you get this? 5 00:00:44,341 --> 00:00:46,476 Stashed a cooler behind the pulpit. 6 00:00:46,477 --> 00:00:47,644 Beer be with you. 7 00:00:47,645 --> 00:00:48,895 And also with you. 8 00:00:50,264 --> 00:00:52,098 Mmm. 9 00:00:52,099 --> 00:00:54,350 Man, this is what church has been missing. 10 00:00:54,351 --> 00:00:55,602 Dude, you fixed church. 11 00:00:55,603 --> 00:00:56,736 Yeah. You're welcome, God. 12 00:00:57,905 --> 00:00:59,689 Nervous? 13 00:00:59,690 --> 00:01:02,492 What? No. I'm just hoping it doesn't rain. 14 00:01:02,493 --> 00:01:04,060 Why? Do I look nervous? 15 00:01:04,061 --> 00:01:06,279 Look at your beer, dude. 16 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,531 You always do that when you're nervous. 17 00:01:11,702 --> 00:01:15,088 It's a sad day in New York, Ted. 18 00:01:15,089 --> 00:01:16,322 A sad day, indeed. 19 00:01:16,323 --> 00:01:19,158 Do you know what I saw on my way in here? 20 00:01:19,159 --> 00:01:20,844 A girl... 21 00:01:20,845 --> 00:01:22,879 In a sweater. 22 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,597 And you know what that means. 23 00:01:24,598 --> 00:01:28,017 The season of exposed skin is over. 24 00:01:28,018 --> 00:01:29,719 Exactly. 25 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:31,471 Gone are the tank tops, Ted. 26 00:01:31,472 --> 00:01:33,223 Gone are the cute little skirts. 27 00:01:33,224 --> 00:01:34,941 Gone are the sun dresses. 28 00:01:34,942 --> 00:01:36,226 The sun dresses, Ted! 29 00:01:36,227 --> 00:01:37,844 I don't think 30 00:01:37,845 --> 00:01:40,179 I can make it another eight months with no sun dresses. 31 00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:42,315 Barney, I really... I have to grade these papers. 32 00:01:42,316 --> 00:01:43,566 I'm sorry. I'll let you work. 33 00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:44,617 But first, 34 00:01:44,618 --> 00:01:46,319 a riddle: 35 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:47,871 What piece of women's attire 36 00:01:47,872 --> 00:01:50,573 most stokes a man's desire? 37 00:01:50,574 --> 00:01:51,791 A sun dress. 38 00:01:51,792 --> 00:01:53,159 Correct. 39 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,078 What lightweight outfit, 40 00:01:55,079 --> 00:01:56,863 pink or white, 41 00:01:56,864 --> 00:02:00,383 makes the front of my slacks abnormally tight? 44 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,470 Thank you. 45 00:02:04,471 --> 00:02:05,588 "Sun dress", by the way. 46 00:02:05,589 --> 00:02:07,891 Hey! 47 00:02:07,892 --> 00:02:10,877 What are you nervous about? Tell me. 48 00:02:10,878 --> 00:02:11,928 Tell me. Tell me. 49 00:02:11,929 --> 00:02:13,596 What flowing cotton frock... 50 00:02:13,597 --> 00:02:15,481 Okay, I'll tell you. Just... 51 00:02:15,482 --> 00:02:17,183 There's a... 52 00:02:17,184 --> 00:02:18,618 There's a girl 53 00:02:18,619 --> 00:02:20,486 sitting at the bar. 54 00:02:20,487 --> 00:02:22,322 - Oh. - Don't look! 55 00:02:22,323 --> 00:02:24,624 I want to see a pretty girl. 56 00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:27,810 Okay, you can look. Just, just, just be cool for once. 57 00:02:27,811 --> 00:02:30,029 I'll be cool. 58 00:02:36,737 --> 00:02:38,121 Ah, Ted. 59 00:02:38,122 --> 00:02:40,156 You got your beer label in a bunch over nothing. 60 00:02:40,157 --> 00:02:41,257 Listen to your uncle Barney. 61 00:02:41,258 --> 00:02:45,078 You have no reason to be nervous. 62 00:02:45,079 --> 00:02:46,579 None whatsoever. 63 00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:50,216 And I'm going to tell you why in one word. 64 00:02:50,217 --> 00:02:51,301 And what's that word? 65 00:02:51,302 --> 00:02:52,819 - Dibs! - What... 66 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:58,648 How I Met Your Mother 6x01 - Big Days 67 00:03:05,816 --> 00:03:07,317 You can't call dibs on a girl 68 00:03:07,318 --> 00:03:09,369 I've been sitting here thinking about maybe talking to 69 00:03:09,370 --> 00:03:10,670 eventually at some point. 70 00:03:10,671 --> 00:03:12,538 You never called dibs. 71 00:03:12,539 --> 00:03:13,957 Dibs were implied. 72 00:03:13,958 --> 00:03:16,292 - Implied dibs? - Yeah. 73 00:03:16,293 --> 00:03:18,494 Ted, you are spitting on the grave 74 00:03:18,495 --> 00:03:21,798 of Sir Walter Dibs, inventor of the dib. 75 00:03:21,799 --> 00:03:23,115 It was 1652... 76 00:03:23,116 --> 00:03:24,984 The SS Dibs was lost at sea... 77 00:03:24,985 --> 00:03:27,020 Look, I don't have time for a fake history lesson, 78 00:03:27,021 --> 00:03:28,454 so I'll keep this simple. 79 00:03:28,455 --> 00:03:30,173 You go over there and talk to that girl, 80 00:03:30,174 --> 00:03:31,624 I will see you in court. 81 00:03:31,625 --> 00:03:34,060 And who's gonna represent you? Dibs on Marshall as my lawyer! 82 00:03:34,061 --> 00:03:35,178 Damn it. 83 00:03:35,179 --> 00:03:36,295 Where is Marshall anyway? 84 00:03:36,296 --> 00:03:37,847 Uncle Marshall and aunt Lily 85 00:03:37,848 --> 00:03:38,948 had recently decided 86 00:03:38,949 --> 00:03:40,717 to take a swing at starting a family. 87 00:03:40,718 --> 00:03:42,969 Tonight was their first at-bat. 88 00:03:42,970 --> 00:03:44,504 Okay, uh, I'm almost ready to leave. 89 00:03:44,505 --> 00:03:46,272 Let's just go through the checklist. Candles? 90 00:03:46,273 --> 00:03:47,440 Check. 91 00:03:47,441 --> 00:03:48,641 Music to set the mood? 92 00:03:49,526 --> 00:03:51,444 Check. 93 00:03:51,445 --> 00:03:52,912 Music for when we're actually doing it? 94 00:03:55,148 --> 00:03:57,033 Check. 95 00:03:58,235 --> 00:03:59,302 You know what? 96 00:03:59,303 --> 00:04:00,670 To hell with your dibs. 97 00:04:00,671 --> 00:04:02,338 I'm going over there right now and talking to her. 98 00:04:02,339 --> 00:04:03,957 Oh, yeah, yeah? Be my guest. 99 00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:05,875 Fall in love with her. Get married. 100 00:04:05,876 --> 00:04:07,093 Just know this: 101 00:04:07,094 --> 00:04:08,845 When I step up to make my toast 102 00:04:08,846 --> 00:04:10,213 as your best man... 103 00:04:10,214 --> 00:04:11,631 Actually, Marshall would probably be... 104 00:04:11,632 --> 00:04:13,216 As your best man... 105 00:04:13,217 --> 00:04:15,351 Ladies and gentlemen... 106 00:04:15,352 --> 00:04:16,636 I... 107 00:04:16,637 --> 00:04:18,688 Had dibs. 108 00:04:18,689 --> 00:04:21,040 - No! - What? 109 00:04:21,041 --> 00:04:22,608 Tell me this isn't true. 110 00:04:22,609 --> 00:04:24,727 I had implied dibs. 111 00:04:24,728 --> 00:04:25,895 Oh! 112 00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:27,196 You know, 113 00:04:27,197 --> 00:04:29,565 you've humiliated me! 114 00:04:29,566 --> 00:04:31,567 I had no idea. You have to know that. 115 00:04:31,568 --> 00:04:33,286 Shh, shh. 116 00:04:33,287 --> 00:04:35,238 You're the victim here. We both are. 117 00:04:36,073 --> 00:04:37,290 Let's get out of here. 118 00:04:37,291 --> 00:04:39,876 Or, you know, we could just do it right here. 119 00:04:39,877 --> 00:04:41,961 We could just do it right here. 120 00:04:43,998 --> 00:04:45,381 Fine. 121 00:04:45,382 --> 00:04:46,549 Have at it. 122 00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:48,034 Exercise your dibs. 123 00:04:48,035 --> 00:04:50,086 She's got her shields up anyway. She's reading a book. 124 00:04:50,087 --> 00:04:51,704 Yeah. 125 00:04:51,705 --> 00:04:53,172 At a bar. 126 00:04:53,173 --> 00:04:54,340 That book might as well be called, 127 00:04:54,341 --> 00:04:56,476 are you there, Barney? It's Me, Horny. 128 00:04:56,477 --> 00:04:57,443 That is not 129 00:04:57,444 --> 00:04:59,645 what "shields up" looks like. 130 00:04:59,646 --> 00:05:01,931 That is what "shields up" looks like. 131 00:05:01,932 --> 00:05:04,317 Move. 132 00:05:04,318 --> 00:05:06,519 God! 133 00:05:08,522 --> 00:05:10,940 Hey. 'Sup, dudes? 134 00:05:10,941 --> 00:05:12,892 Fries? 135 00:05:12,893 --> 00:05:15,078 Oh, good God, woman. You're a disgrace. 136 00:05:15,079 --> 00:05:16,746 No fries for this guy. 137 00:05:16,747 --> 00:05:17,830 Robin, 138 00:05:17,831 --> 00:05:20,199 seriously, I love you, but it's like 139 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,401 you have squiggly cartoon odor lines 140 00:05:22,402 --> 00:05:23,786 coming off of you right now. 141 00:05:23,787 --> 00:05:24,804 You know what, Barney? 142 00:05:24,805 --> 00:05:26,589 Just cut her some slack, okay? 143 00:05:26,590 --> 00:05:29,342 She just went through a breakup. 144 00:05:29,343 --> 00:05:30,593 With hygiene? 145 00:05:30,594 --> 00:05:32,295 No, with Don. 146 00:05:32,296 --> 00:05:34,080 A few months earlier... 147 00:05:34,081 --> 00:05:35,932 Here, have some tea. 148 00:05:35,933 --> 00:05:37,016 Thanks. 149 00:05:37,017 --> 00:05:38,384 Robin, I am here for you. 150 00:05:38,385 --> 00:05:39,585 Whatever you need. 151 00:05:39,586 --> 00:05:41,888 Okay, um, about that. 152 00:05:41,889 --> 00:05:43,473 Ted, listen. 153 00:05:43,474 --> 00:05:46,059 I know myself pretty well. 154 00:05:46,060 --> 00:05:48,978 And, um, some time over the next few months, 155 00:05:48,979 --> 00:05:51,013 I'm going to want to sleep with you. 156 00:05:51,014 --> 00:05:52,632 And when that happens, 157 00:05:52,633 --> 00:05:54,067 you have to try to say no. 158 00:05:54,068 --> 00:05:55,451 Try? 159 00:05:55,452 --> 00:05:56,903 I will absolutely say no. 160 00:05:56,904 --> 00:05:58,121 Our friendship is too important. 161 00:05:58,122 --> 00:06:00,073 Oh. 162 00:06:00,074 --> 00:06:02,075 Okay, you know, maybe I wasn't clear enough. 163 00:06:02,076 --> 00:06:03,743 Um... 164 00:06:03,744 --> 00:06:06,295 I will come at you with everything I've got. 165 00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:07,279 I will stalk you 166 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,166 like the lioness stalks the gazelle: 167 00:06:10,167 --> 00:06:13,336 Careful, patient, deadly. 168 00:06:13,337 --> 00:06:15,755 And if you let your guard down 169 00:06:15,756 --> 00:06:16,806 for so much as a second, 170 00:06:16,807 --> 00:06:18,624 as sure as you were born, 171 00:06:18,625 --> 00:06:22,512 I will hump your brains out. 172 00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:30,853 Okay, I'm ready to have sex now. 173 00:06:32,139 --> 00:06:33,823 It was a tough summer, 174 00:06:33,824 --> 00:06:35,992 but I think our girl's been a real trooper. 175 00:06:35,993 --> 00:06:38,945 She's... 176 00:06:38,946 --> 00:06:40,363 Is this a Cheeto? 177 00:06:40,364 --> 00:06:42,148 No, we ran out of Cheetos last week. 178 00:06:42,149 --> 00:06:45,201 Oh, yeah, it's a Cheeto. Dibs. 179 00:06:45,202 --> 00:06:47,370 Oh, you're exquisite. 180 00:06:47,371 --> 00:06:49,355 You must let me paint you. 181 00:06:49,356 --> 00:06:50,506 Hey Robin, what do you think? 182 00:06:50,507 --> 00:06:51,574 The girl sitting at the bar. 183 00:06:51,575 --> 00:06:52,959 Shields up? 184 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,711 Mmm, totes, toots. She's here on a date. 185 00:06:55,712 --> 00:06:58,131 She brought the book because she got here early, 186 00:06:58,132 --> 00:07:01,050 and she also wants to impress the guy she's meeting. 187 00:07:01,051 --> 00:07:04,003 Girls like to come across all classy and smart, you know? 188 00:07:06,023 --> 00:07:07,673 This? What you're doing right now? 189 00:07:07,674 --> 00:07:10,176 I'm getting a "de-rection." 190 00:07:11,178 --> 00:07:13,863 Hey! How'd it go? You pregnant yet? 191 00:07:13,864 --> 00:07:15,031 Nope! 192 00:07:15,032 --> 00:07:16,682 Okay, so, here's what happened. 193 00:07:16,683 --> 00:07:18,634 I was at home, waiting for Marshall. 194 00:07:18,635 --> 00:07:20,786 Hey! How was your day? 195 00:07:20,787 --> 00:07:22,121 Don't answer. No time. 196 00:07:22,122 --> 00:07:23,906 Um, bedroom. No, no. No time. 197 00:07:23,907 --> 00:07:25,324 Floor. No, no time. 198 00:07:25,325 --> 00:07:26,459 Against this wall! 199 00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:27,543 Marshall, whoa! Wait. 200 00:07:27,544 --> 00:07:29,745 A big package just arrived. 201 00:07:29,746 --> 00:07:30,796 Yeah, it did. 202 00:07:30,797 --> 00:07:31,797 No, no. 203 00:07:31,798 --> 00:07:33,966 It's a real package from your dad. 204 00:07:33,967 --> 00:07:36,636 Well, that's a little weird, but yeah, it is. 205 00:07:36,637 --> 00:07:38,504 Marshall, look! 206 00:07:40,541 --> 00:07:42,175 A bassinet? Oh, my... 207 00:07:42,176 --> 00:07:45,178 He must've made it in his wood shop. 208 00:07:45,179 --> 00:07:47,213 Wasn't that sweet of him? 209 00:07:47,214 --> 00:07:49,148 Lil? 210 00:07:49,149 --> 00:07:51,267 Isn't that sweet? 211 00:07:51,268 --> 00:07:53,853 Lily? 212 00:07:53,854 --> 00:07:56,923 You told your dad we're trying to have a baby? 213 00:07:56,924 --> 00:07:59,041 Of course I did. I tell my dad everything. 214 00:07:59,042 --> 00:08:00,576 My dad is my best friend. 215 00:08:00,577 --> 00:08:02,111 Oh! 216 00:08:02,112 --> 00:08:05,581 Lily, we have been looking forward 217 00:08:05,582 --> 00:08:08,935 to this magical, special night for two weeks now. 218 00:08:08,936 --> 00:08:12,288 And, sweetie, during that time, I have been, um... 219 00:08:12,289 --> 00:08:15,625 How do I put this delicately? 220 00:08:15,626 --> 00:08:19,161 Saving all my love for you. 221 00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:23,916 I have read 11 books on conception. 222 00:08:23,917 --> 00:08:25,251 I have cut out 223 00:08:25,252 --> 00:08:27,520 alcohol, caffeine and sugar. 224 00:08:27,521 --> 00:08:29,388 I take my temperature every hour. 225 00:08:29,389 --> 00:08:32,692 But good for you for not playing with yourself. 226 00:08:34,378 --> 00:08:35,444 I feel you, buddy. 227 00:08:35,445 --> 00:08:37,196 Ah, no. Ah. Don't even touch me, dude. 228 00:08:37,197 --> 00:08:38,931 It's been, like... It's been two weeks. 229 00:08:38,932 --> 00:08:42,435 I'm, like, a light breeze away from having a big problem. 230 00:08:42,436 --> 00:08:44,153 Seriously. 231 00:08:45,739 --> 00:08:47,156 Okay, I'm better now. 232 00:08:48,942 --> 00:08:50,609 Okay, Barney. 233 00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:52,161 What's this going to cost me? 234 00:08:52,162 --> 00:08:53,145 Excuse me? 235 00:08:53,146 --> 00:08:54,330 Your dibs. I want to buy your dibs. 236 00:08:54,331 --> 00:08:56,799 Two... hundred... 237 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,501 And fifty thousand dollars. 238 00:08:58,502 --> 00:08:59,719 20 bucks. 239 00:09:01,171 --> 00:09:02,672 But I... 240 00:09:02,673 --> 00:09:03,806 Can I go smell her first? 241 00:09:03,807 --> 00:09:05,558 - No. - Fine. 242 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:07,209 All right. 243 00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:09,011 Wish me luck. 244 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,665 Now kids, remember how I told you 245 00:09:12,666 --> 00:09:14,133 about a girl named Cindy? 246 00:09:14,134 --> 00:09:16,635 How I went on one date with her and it ended... 247 00:09:16,636 --> 00:09:17,603 Get out. 248 00:09:17,604 --> 00:09:18,971 Badly? Well... 249 00:09:18,972 --> 00:09:20,523 - How are you? - Good. 250 00:09:25,862 --> 00:09:26,829 What the hell are you doing? 251 00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:27,947 That girl she's talking to? 252 00:09:27,948 --> 00:09:29,648 I dated her. 253 00:09:29,649 --> 00:09:32,285 Oh, that sucks! 254 00:09:32,286 --> 00:09:34,370 And dibs. 255 00:09:39,004 --> 00:09:41,972 So you went on one date with one of her friends. 256 00:09:41,973 --> 00:09:43,824 It's not necessarily a big deal. 257 00:09:43,825 --> 00:09:45,459 I mean, did it end on bad terms? 258 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,645 Um... 259 00:09:47,646 --> 00:09:49,813 Oh, hi Cindy. 260 00:09:49,814 --> 00:09:51,632 Oh, hi Cindy. 261 00:09:53,935 --> 00:09:55,603 Yikes. 262 00:09:55,604 --> 00:09:57,605 Well, I guess you just got to move on. 263 00:09:57,606 --> 00:09:58,772 I mean, it's not like you have a shot 264 00:09:58,773 --> 00:10:01,041 with Ready McGee over there, right? 265 00:10:02,277 --> 00:10:03,344 Ted? 266 00:10:03,345 --> 00:10:04,995 Then I remembered. 267 00:10:04,996 --> 00:10:06,664 Cindy had a roommate. 268 00:10:06,665 --> 00:10:09,983 A roommate I only caught a glimpse of... 269 00:10:10,702 --> 00:10:12,086 But a roommate who, 270 00:10:12,087 --> 00:10:15,839 by every indication, was something very special. 271 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,375 Was it possible? 272 00:10:18,376 --> 00:10:22,663 Could this be the girl attached to that ankle? 273 00:10:23,848 --> 00:10:26,984 I got to see her ankles. 274 00:10:26,985 --> 00:10:28,736 You're one of those? 275 00:10:28,737 --> 00:10:31,188 God, I swear, one in five guys... 276 00:10:31,189 --> 00:10:33,006 Lily! 277 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,109 We kind of had a plan tonight, remember? 278 00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:36,894 Candles? Banjo? 279 00:10:36,895 --> 00:10:39,196 Who else did you tell? Did you tell anyone at the office? 280 00:10:39,197 --> 00:10:41,448 Um... 281 00:10:44,903 --> 00:10:46,287 Shannon? 282 00:10:46,288 --> 00:10:48,622 Start the music. 283 00:10:52,294 --> 00:10:55,045 Can you dig it?! 284 00:10:57,499 --> 00:10:59,366 Take it to the hole, Eriksen! 285 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,585 Sink that putt, big fuzz! 286 00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:03,337 Put a pillow under her lower back. 287 00:11:03,338 --> 00:11:06,473 It helps facilitate conception, bro! 288 00:11:12,097 --> 00:11:14,715 I may have mentioned it in passing 289 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,517 to a couple of colleagues at work. 290 00:11:16,518 --> 00:11:18,519 I'm sorry about that, but you know what? 291 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,721 I got to be able to tell my dad. 292 00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:23,324 Your dad is the last person you should tell! 293 00:11:23,325 --> 00:11:25,892 The man is too involved in our lives! 294 00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:28,662 It's like, every time the phone rings... 295 00:11:28,663 --> 00:11:30,331 Hello. 296 00:11:30,332 --> 00:11:31,949 Lily, Marvin Eriksen. 297 00:11:31,950 --> 00:11:34,201 I noticed you hadn't changed your last name yet. 298 00:11:34,202 --> 00:11:35,569 No, I'm gonna... 299 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,338 So, don't worry. I called the DMV, 300 00:11:37,339 --> 00:11:40,341 I called your Amex, I got that process started for you. 301 00:11:41,176 --> 00:11:43,110 Hello. 302 00:11:43,111 --> 00:11:44,745 Lily, Marvin Eriksen. 303 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:45,813 I understand 304 00:11:45,814 --> 00:11:47,214 you and Marshall have been fighting. 305 00:11:47,215 --> 00:11:50,017 Well, let me tell you what works for me and the missus. 306 00:11:50,018 --> 00:11:52,619 Frilly French undies and a box of wine. 307 00:11:53,388 --> 00:11:55,022 Hello. 308 00:11:55,023 --> 00:11:57,241 You might want to try pickles on that sandwich. 309 00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:01,412 Pickles would have helped that sandwich! 310 00:12:01,413 --> 00:12:03,300 The man has no boundaries. 311 00:12:03,444 --> 00:12:06,479 And I just can't procreate under these conditions! 312 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:07,555 Yeah, well, you know what? 313 00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:09,955 I've already told him, so the damage is done. 314 00:12:10,026 --> 00:12:12,995 So, call him and tell him we decided not to have a baby. 315 00:12:14,312 --> 00:12:15,395 Okay, so you just... 316 00:12:15,706 --> 00:12:17,336 You want me to give my dad a stroke? 317 00:12:17,590 --> 00:12:19,908 Only if you want to give this a stroke. 318 00:12:20,517 --> 00:12:21,015 That's ridiculous. 319 00:12:21,114 --> 00:12:23,366 Lily, there is no way that I would ever... 320 00:12:25,970 --> 00:12:27,759 Okay, everyone needs 321 00:12:27,856 --> 00:12:29,807 to shut up so that I can think! 322 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:33,177 Uh-oh. They're talking to a guy now. 323 00:12:33,178 --> 00:12:35,195 What kind of guy? A cheesy guy or a cool guy? 324 00:12:35,196 --> 00:12:36,563 Oh, a cheesy guy. Don't worry. 325 00:12:36,564 --> 00:12:38,449 Oh, man! 326 00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:39,633 That guy is cool. 327 00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:42,269 His hair's all cool, he's got a cool belt. 328 00:12:42,270 --> 00:12:43,987 Well, that guy is cheesy, 329 00:12:43,988 --> 00:12:45,906 and if you think he's not cheesy, 330 00:12:45,907 --> 00:12:49,243 then you're cheesy, too, and now I want something cheesy. 331 00:12:49,244 --> 00:12:51,378 Who's feeling nachos? 332 00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:52,629 Oh, look at you, Robin. 333 00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:53,831 You're jealous. 334 00:12:53,832 --> 00:12:55,099 Jealous? 335 00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:56,333 Yeah, jealous, 336 00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,985 because she's got it, and you've lost it. 337 00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:01,221 I have not lost it. 338 00:13:01,222 --> 00:13:02,322 You lost it. 339 00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:04,124 I still have it. 340 00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:05,926 I know exactly where it is, 341 00:13:05,927 --> 00:13:08,929 and I can go get it whenever I want. 342 00:13:08,930 --> 00:13:11,799 Robin, girls are like cartons of milk. 343 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,700 Each one has a hotness expiration date, 344 00:13:13,701 --> 00:13:15,352 and you've hit yours. 345 00:13:15,353 --> 00:13:18,138 I'm not saying the occasional guy won't still open the fridge, 346 00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:21,091 pick you up, give a sniff, shrug and take a sip anyway. 347 00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:23,060 But it's all downhill from here. 348 00:13:23,061 --> 00:13:25,178 I don't have to take this. 349 00:13:26,815 --> 00:13:29,032 But I do have to take this. 350 00:13:30,819 --> 00:13:32,185 Okay, so you just want me 351 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,537 to call my dad and tell him 352 00:13:33,538 --> 00:13:34,738 that we're not having a baby? 353 00:13:34,739 --> 00:13:36,206 That's about the size of it. 354 00:13:36,207 --> 00:13:38,492 Okay, out of curiosity, 355 00:13:38,493 --> 00:13:40,761 when do we tell him about the baby? 356 00:13:40,762 --> 00:13:42,028 We'll tell him about the baby 357 00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,831 when there's a baby to tell him about. 358 00:13:43,832 --> 00:13:45,883 So, he just gets no notice? 359 00:13:45,884 --> 00:13:47,718 He just walks into his boss's office, 360 00:13:47,719 --> 00:13:49,536 and says, "I just had a grandson. 361 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,405 I'm gonna be out for three months." 362 00:13:51,406 --> 00:13:53,107 Out for three months? 363 00:13:53,108 --> 00:13:54,475 Yeah. 364 00:13:54,476 --> 00:13:55,559 He and my mom are coming 365 00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,227 to live with us when the baby's born. 366 00:13:58,179 --> 00:13:59,329 We talked about this. 367 00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:00,798 No, we didn't. 368 00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:02,966 I meant, me and my dad. 369 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,067 You know what, Marshall? 370 00:14:04,068 --> 00:14:06,386 Why don't you have a baby with your dad? 371 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,888 Oh, okay, Lily. 372 00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:10,357 Why don't you have a baby with your butt? 373 00:14:10,358 --> 00:14:11,391 What? 374 00:14:12,527 --> 00:14:14,495 I can't think straight! 375 00:14:14,496 --> 00:14:16,864 Why do you have to wear that shirt? 376 00:14:16,865 --> 00:14:20,501 This is not how I thought this night was going to go! 377 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,074 Ted? 378 00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:36,351 Oh, God, this sucks! Do you think she saw me? 379 00:14:36,352 --> 00:14:37,385 Hi, Ted! 380 00:14:37,386 --> 00:14:39,471 Yeah, she definitely saw you. 381 00:14:39,472 --> 00:14:42,090 Can I see you for a minute... In private? 382 00:14:42,091 --> 00:14:44,092 Yeah. Yeah, sure. 383 00:14:44,093 --> 00:14:47,312 I mean, how could that not be fun? 384 00:14:49,265 --> 00:14:52,467 If I don't come back, tell my mom I love her. 385 00:14:52,468 --> 00:14:54,402 Okay, will do. And dibs. 386 00:14:56,656 --> 00:14:58,707 Barney, am I crazy? 387 00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:01,126 Marshall talks to his dad way too much, right? 388 00:15:01,127 --> 00:15:03,495 Oh, you don't want my opinion on that. 389 00:15:03,496 --> 00:15:04,479 Why not? 390 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,581 If I had my dad's number, 391 00:15:06,582 --> 00:15:09,618 I would never not be on the phone with him. 392 00:15:09,619 --> 00:15:11,419 Wow, that was really... 393 00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:13,405 Whoa, a hottie with a body! 394 00:15:13,406 --> 00:15:15,307 Boing...! 395 00:15:15,308 --> 00:15:16,358 Brief. 396 00:15:16,359 --> 00:15:18,093 No. Lily, look. 397 00:15:20,346 --> 00:15:23,431 You saucy little minx. 398 00:15:23,432 --> 00:15:25,634 You sundressed up. 399 00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:29,020 Hi. 400 00:15:30,306 --> 00:15:31,623 14 seconds! 401 00:15:31,624 --> 00:15:33,592 14 seconds, and already 402 00:15:33,593 --> 00:15:35,076 some dingdong is stepping up, 403 00:15:35,077 --> 00:15:37,546 thinking he can get some of this broke off. 404 00:15:37,547 --> 00:15:38,747 Oh! 405 00:15:38,748 --> 00:15:41,533 I... still... got... it. 406 00:15:43,619 --> 00:15:45,820 All right, buddy, you proved my point. Now scram. 407 00:15:46,606 --> 00:15:48,957 Nice belt, by the way. 408 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:52,327 Hey. 409 00:15:52,328 --> 00:15:53,378 Wow. 410 00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:55,263 Robin, you do look super hot. 411 00:15:55,264 --> 00:15:56,497 Oh, do I? 412 00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:57,682 Yeah, you do. 413 00:15:57,683 --> 00:15:59,467 Thanks. 414 00:16:02,355 --> 00:16:04,523 I braced myself for what was next: 415 00:16:04,524 --> 00:16:07,392 Rage, fury, a possible shanking. 416 00:16:09,529 --> 00:16:10,746 Thank you, Ted. 417 00:16:10,747 --> 00:16:12,531 After things didn't work out with us, 418 00:16:12,532 --> 00:16:14,366 I got really sad for a while. 419 00:16:14,367 --> 00:16:16,218 But then I realized, 420 00:16:16,219 --> 00:16:18,987 you're not what I wanted, Ted, and I'm not what you wanted. 421 00:16:18,988 --> 00:16:20,488 I'm sorry I was such a jerk. 422 00:16:20,489 --> 00:16:22,991 I feel like I should make it up to you somehow. 423 00:16:22,992 --> 00:16:25,260 You know, buy you a beer or Yankees tickets, or... 424 00:16:25,261 --> 00:16:27,546 Or set me up with one of your friends. 425 00:16:27,547 --> 00:16:29,164 No, I'm kidding. That would be weird. 426 00:16:29,165 --> 00:16:31,083 - No, it wouldn't. - It wouldn't, would it? 427 00:16:31,084 --> 00:16:32,934 Any one of those three. 428 00:16:32,935 --> 00:16:34,886 Whichever's easiest and right nearby. 429 00:16:35,638 --> 00:16:36,822 And not the beer. 430 00:16:36,823 --> 00:16:37,839 I should get back. 431 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:38,890 Totally. 432 00:16:38,891 --> 00:16:40,692 Come say good-bye before you leave. 433 00:16:42,178 --> 00:16:43,678 Say good-bye before you leave? 434 00:16:43,679 --> 00:16:45,180 Her words exactly. 435 00:16:45,181 --> 00:16:46,982 Dude, you are so in. 436 00:16:46,983 --> 00:16:48,183 That is so awesome. 437 00:16:48,184 --> 00:16:49,985 A high five doesn't even cut it. 438 00:16:49,986 --> 00:16:52,287 High six! 439 00:16:52,288 --> 00:16:54,673 She didn't see us high-six, did she? 440 00:16:54,674 --> 00:16:56,324 No. Good. That was pretty lame. 441 00:16:56,325 --> 00:16:59,327 Yeah, let's never do that again. 442 00:16:59,328 --> 00:17:00,495 Marshall? 443 00:17:00,496 --> 00:17:01,580 What? Lily, what? 444 00:17:01,581 --> 00:17:03,081 Are there more members 445 00:17:03,082 --> 00:17:05,133 of my family that you want to crap all over? 446 00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:07,535 - Here's the thing. - I'm sorry. Hold on. 447 00:17:07,536 --> 00:17:09,054 Just... 448 00:17:09,055 --> 00:17:10,589 It's my dad. 449 00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:14,092 Lily, it's my dad, okay? 450 00:17:14,093 --> 00:17:17,579 I love him, and if he calls me, I'm gonna answer the phone! 451 00:17:19,348 --> 00:17:20,982 Hey, dad. 452 00:17:20,983 --> 00:17:23,568 Hey, hey. I know it's late, but I just had to call. 453 00:17:23,569 --> 00:17:25,187 - How'd it go? - Dad, this is... 454 00:17:25,188 --> 00:17:26,571 Did you do everything the books say? 455 00:17:26,572 --> 00:17:28,106 Did you put the pillow under her back? 456 00:17:28,107 --> 00:17:29,674 Dad, I'm in the middle of something right now. 457 00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:31,276 Did it feel like a boy? Huh? 458 00:17:31,277 --> 00:17:32,494 You can tell. 459 00:17:32,495 --> 00:17:34,196 He's insane. 460 00:17:35,064 --> 00:17:36,731 My dad is insane. 461 00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:40,368 I'm so sorry, Lily. 462 00:17:41,421 --> 00:17:43,205 He's just... 463 00:17:43,206 --> 00:17:47,408 He's so, um... 464 00:17:47,409 --> 00:17:49,478 Enthusiastic. 465 00:17:49,479 --> 00:17:51,463 It's ridiculous, you know? 466 00:17:51,464 --> 00:17:53,548 Like, who's like that? 467 00:17:54,383 --> 00:17:56,468 You. 468 00:17:56,469 --> 00:17:58,954 You're like that. 469 00:17:58,955 --> 00:18:02,974 You and your dad both care so much. 470 00:18:02,975 --> 00:18:05,260 It's... it's why women fall in love 471 00:18:05,261 --> 00:18:08,046 with the Eriksen men to begin with. 472 00:18:08,948 --> 00:18:11,716 But right now, it's a lot of pressure. 473 00:18:11,717 --> 00:18:14,286 Baby, I'm not trying to pressure you one bit. 474 00:18:14,287 --> 00:18:16,822 What if I can't have a baby? 475 00:18:17,874 --> 00:18:20,041 That could happen. 476 00:18:20,042 --> 00:18:22,828 I could totally let you down. 477 00:18:22,829 --> 00:18:26,665 Has that thought not occurred to you? 478 00:18:28,084 --> 00:18:30,085 Not even for one second. 479 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,926 Not having a baby would suck, 480 00:18:37,927 --> 00:18:40,846 but the idea of you letting me down... 481 00:18:40,847 --> 00:18:44,332 That's impossible. 482 00:18:45,551 --> 00:18:48,320 That would be like aliens landing. 483 00:18:49,438 --> 00:18:52,491 That's a bad example, because that could happen. 484 00:18:52,492 --> 00:18:53,742 It probably already has. 485 00:18:53,743 --> 00:18:56,194 I saw this, uh, episode... 486 00:19:00,482 --> 00:19:01,917 All right. 487 00:19:01,918 --> 00:19:03,435 I'm doing this. 488 00:19:03,436 --> 00:19:05,537 I am going over there. 489 00:19:13,112 --> 00:19:15,797 Wish me luck. 490 00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:22,187 Kids, nothing in this life quite compares to the sweet, 491 00:19:22,188 --> 00:19:25,190 terrifying exhilaration of making your move. 492 00:19:25,191 --> 00:19:28,560 When you just put it all on the line and go for it. 493 00:19:28,561 --> 00:19:31,830 And that night, by golly, 494 00:19:31,831 --> 00:19:34,065 Cindy went for it. 495 00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:53,151 So no, that girl wasn't your mother. 496 00:19:53,152 --> 00:19:55,253 She ended up being someone else's mother. 497 00:19:55,254 --> 00:19:57,472 In fact, they both did. 498 00:20:07,099 --> 00:20:08,549 Like I said, 499 00:20:08,550 --> 00:20:09,935 she's here on a date. 500 00:20:09,936 --> 00:20:12,237 So that was not the day I met your mother. 501 00:20:12,238 --> 00:20:15,991 The day I met your mother was the day of a wedding. 502 00:20:16,813 --> 00:20:18,379 Okay, maybe I'm a little nervous. 503 00:20:18,604 --> 00:20:19,838 Dude, it's just a wedding toast. 504 00:20:20,045 --> 00:20:21,936 I know. I just... I want it to be great, you know? 505 00:20:21,998 --> 00:20:23,132 I want this whole day to be great. 506 00:20:23,141 --> 00:20:24,725 It will be. 507 00:20:24,913 --> 00:20:25,946 Best man? 508 00:20:26,246 --> 00:20:27,246 You're being summoned. 509 00:20:27,620 --> 00:20:29,254 Geez, what now? 510 00:20:29,255 --> 00:20:32,591 Ted, seriously, relax. Everything's... 511 00:20:32,592 --> 00:20:33,792 Okay, and it's raining. 512 00:20:33,793 --> 00:20:35,043 Yeah. You were saying? 513 00:20:35,044 --> 00:20:37,345 You didn't happen to bring an umbrella, did you? 514 00:20:37,346 --> 00:20:39,297 No. I didn't bring an umbrella. 515 00:20:46,935 --> 00:20:49,770 I mean, everyone told us that it might take a while, but... 516 00:20:49,971 --> 00:20:52,506 We thought we might be the exception to the rule. 517 00:20:53,407 --> 00:20:55,408 Anyways, we're getting back on that horse. 518 00:20:55,409 --> 00:20:58,445 I mean, feeling good about the future. 519 00:21:00,981 --> 00:21:02,699 Obviously, this goes without saying, 520 00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:04,918 but you won't tell Lily about any of this, right? 521 00:21:04,919 --> 00:21:06,687 No! Of course! Absolutely!