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Narrator: Kids, there are two
big days in any love story:
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00:00:03,895 --> 00:00:06,246
The day you meet
the girl of your dreams,
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and the day you marry her.
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Nice! Where'd you get this?
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Stashed a cooler behind the pulpit.
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Beer be with you.
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And also with you.
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(Chuckles)
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Mmm.
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Man, this is what
church has been missing.
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Dude, you fixed church.
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Yeah. You're welcome, God.
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(Laughs)
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Nervous?
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What? No. I'm just
hoping it doesn't rain.
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Why? Do I look nervous?
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Look at your beer, dude.
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You always do that
when you're nervous.
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It's a sad day in New York, Ted.
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A sad day, indeed.
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Do you know what I saw
on my way in here?
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A girl...
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In a sweater.
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And you know what that means.
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The season of exposed skin is over.
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Exactly.
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Gone are the tank tops, Ted.
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Gone are the cute little skirts.
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Gone are the sun dresses.
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The sun dresses, Ted!
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I don't think
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I can make it another eight
months with no sun dresses.
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Barney, I really...
I have to grade these papers.
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I'm sorry. I'll let you work.
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But first,
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a riddle:
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What piece of women's attire
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most stokes a man's desire?
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A sun dress.
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Correct.
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What lightweight outfit,
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pink or white,
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makes the front of my slacks
abnormally tight?
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I really have to get this done.
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Of course, of course.
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Thank you.
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"Sun dress", by the way.
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Hey!
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What are you nervous about?
Tell me.
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Tell me. Tell me.
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What flowing cotton frock...
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Okay, I'll tell you. Just...
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There's a...
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There's a girl
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sitting at the bar.
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- Oh.
- Don't look!
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(Whining):
I want to see a pretty girl.
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Okay, you can look.
Just, just, just be cool for once.
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I'll be cool.
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Ah, Ted.
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You got your beer label
in a bunch over nothing.
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Listen to your uncle Barney.
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You have no reason to be nervous.
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None whatsoever.
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And I'm going to tell
you why in one word.
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And what's that word?
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- Dibs!
- What...
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Sync by fant0m, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com
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You can't call dibs on a girl
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I've been sitting here
thinking about maybe talking to
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eventually at some point.
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You never called dibs.
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Dibs were implied.
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- Implied dibs?
- Yeah.
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Ted, you are spitting on the grave
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of Sir Walter Dibs, inventor of the dib.
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It was 1652...
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Barney:
The SS Dibs was lost at sea...
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Look, I don't have time
for a fake history lesson,
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so I'll keep this simple.
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You go over there
and talk to that girl,
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I will see you in court.
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And who's gonna represent you?
Dibs on Marshall as my lawyer!
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Damn it.
(Laughs)
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Where is Marshall anyway?
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Narrator:
Uncle Marshall and aunt Lily
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had recently decided
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to take a swing at starting a family.
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Tonight was their first at-bat.
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Okay, uh, I'm almost ready to leave.
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Let's just go through the checklist.
Candles?
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Check.
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Music to set the mood?
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(Romantic music plays)
Check.
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Music for when
we're actually doing it?
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(Banjo music plays)
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Check.
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You know what?
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To hell with your dibs.
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I'm going over there right now
and talking to her.
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Oh, yeah, yeah? Be my guest.
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Fall in love with her. Get married.
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Just know this:
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When I step up to make my toast
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as your best man...
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Actually, Marshall
would probably be...
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As your best man...
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Ladies and gentlemen...
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I...
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Had dibs.
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- No!
- What?
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Tell me this isn't true.
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I had implied dibs.
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Oh!
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You know,
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you've humiliated me!
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I had no idea. You have to know that.
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Shh, shh.
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You're the victim here. We both are.
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Let's get out of here.
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Or, you know, we could
just do it right here.
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We could just do it right here.
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(Bride gasps, both moaning)
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Fine.
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Have at it.
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Exercise your dibs.
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She's got her shields up anyway.
She's reading a book.
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Yeah.
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At a bar.
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That book might as well be called,
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are you there, Barney?
It's Me, Horny.
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That is not
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what "shields up" looks like.
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That is what "shields up" looks like.
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Move.
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God!
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Hey. 'Sup, dudes?
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Fries?
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Oh, good God, woman.
You're a disgrace.
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No fries for this guy.
(Snorts)
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Robin,
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seriously, I love you, but it's like
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you have squiggly cartoon odor lines
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coming off of you right now.
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You know what, Barney?
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Just cut her some slack, okay?
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She just went through a breakup.
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With hygiene?
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No, with Don.
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A few months earlier...
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Here, have some tea.
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Thanks.
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Robin, I am here for you.
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Whatever you need.
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Okay, um, about that.
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Ted, listen.
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I know myself pretty well.
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And, um, some time
over the next few months,
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I'm going to want to sleep with you.
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And when that happens,
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you have to try to say no.
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Try?
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I will absolutely say no.
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Our friendship is too important.
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(Chuckles):
Oh.
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Okay, you know,
maybe I wasn't clear enough.
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Um...
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I will come at you
with everything I've got.
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I will stalk you
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like the lioness stalks the gazelle:
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careful, patient, deadly.
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And if you let your guard down
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for so much as a second,
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as sure as you were born,
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I will hump your brains out.
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(Robin sobbing)
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Okay, I'm ready to have sex now.
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It was a tough summer,
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but I think our girl's
been a real trooper.
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She's...
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Is this a Cheeto?
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No, we ran out of Cheetos last week.
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Oh, yeah, it's a Cheeto. Dibs.
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Oh, you're exquisite.
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You must let me paint you.
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Hey Robin, what do you think?
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The girl sitting at the bar.
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Shields up?
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Mmm, totes, toots.
She's here on a date.
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She brought the book
because she got here early,
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and she also wants to impress
the guy she's meeting.
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Girls like to come across all
classy and smart, you know?
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This? What you're doing right now?
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00:07:06,984 --> 00:07:09,486
I'm getting a "de-rection."
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Hey! How'd it go?
You pregnant yet?
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Nope!
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Okay, so, here's what happened.
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I was at home, waiting for Marshall.
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Hey! How was your day?
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Don't answer. No time.
201
00:07:21,432 --> 00:07:23,216
Um, bedroom. No, no. No time.
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00:07:23,217 --> 00:07:24,634
Floor. No, no time.
203
00:07:24,635 --> 00:07:25,769
Against this wall!
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00:07:25,770 --> 00:07:26,853
Marshall, whoa! Wait.
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00:07:26,854 --> 00:07:29,055
A big package just arrived.
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00:07:29,056 --> 00:07:30,106
Yeah, it did.
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00:07:30,107 --> 00:07:31,107
No, no.
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00:07:31,108 --> 00:07:33,276
It's a real package from your dad.
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00:07:33,277 --> 00:07:35,946
Well, that's a little weird,
but yeah, it is.
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00:07:35,947 --> 00:07:37,814
Marshall, look!
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00:07:39,851 --> 00:07:41,485
A bassinet? Oh, my...
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00:07:41,486 --> 00:07:44,488
He must've made it
in his wood shop.
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00:07:44,489 --> 00:07:46,523
Wasn't that sweet of him?
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00:07:46,524 --> 00:07:48,458
Lil?
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00:07:48,459 --> 00:07:50,577
Isn't that sweet?
216
00:07:50,578 --> 00:07:53,163
Lily?
217
00:07:53,164 --> 00:07:56,233
You told your dad
we're trying to have a baby?
218
00:07:56,234 --> 00:07:58,351
Of course I did.
I tell my dad everything.
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00:07:58,352 --> 00:07:59,886
My dad is my best friend.
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00:07:59,887 --> 00:08:01,421
Ted and Barney:
Oh!
221
00:08:01,422 --> 00:08:04,891
Lily, we have been looking forward
222
00:08:04,892 --> 00:08:08,245
to this magical, special night
for two weeks now.
223
00:08:08,246 --> 00:08:11,598
And, sweetie, during that time,
I have been, um...
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00:08:11,599 --> 00:08:14,935
How do I put this delicately?
225
00:08:14,936 --> 00:08:18,471
Saving all my love for you.
226
00:08:19,690 --> 00:08:23,226
I have read 11 books
on conception.
227
00:08:23,227 --> 00:08:24,561
I have cut out
228
00:08:24,562 --> 00:08:26,830
alcohol, caffeine and sugar.
229
00:08:26,831 --> 00:08:28,698
I take my temperature every hour.
230
00:08:28,699 --> 00:08:32,002
But good for you
for not playing with yourself.
231
00:08:33,688 --> 00:08:34,754
I feel you, buddy.
232
00:08:34,755 --> 00:08:36,506
Ah, no. Ah.
Don't even touch me, dude.
233
00:08:36,507 --> 00:08:38,241
It's been, like... It's been two weeks.
234
00:08:38,242 --> 00:08:41,745
I'm, like, a light breeze away
from having a big problem.
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00:08:41,746 --> 00:08:43,463
Seriously.
236
00:08:45,049 --> 00:08:46,466
Okay, I'm better now.
237
00:08:48,252 --> 00:08:49,919
Okay, Barney.
238
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,471
What's this going to cost me?
239
00:08:51,472 --> 00:08:52,455
Excuse me?
240
00:08:52,456 --> 00:08:53,640
Your dibs. I want to buy your dibs.
241
00:08:53,641 --> 00:08:56,109
Two... hundred...
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00:08:56,110 --> 00:08:57,811
And fifty thousand dollars.
243
00:08:57,812 --> 00:08:59,029
20 bucks.
244
00:09:00,481 --> 00:09:01,982
But I...
245
00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:03,116
Can I go smell her first?
246
00:09:03,117 --> 00:09:04,868
- No.
- Fine.
247
00:09:04,869 --> 00:09:06,519
All right.
248
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,321
Wish me luck.
249
00:09:09,390 --> 00:09:11,975
Now kids, remember how I told you
250
00:09:11,976 --> 00:09:13,443
about a girl named Cindy?
251
00:09:13,444 --> 00:09:15,945
How I went on one date
with her and it ended...
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00:09:15,946 --> 00:09:16,913
Get out.
253
00:09:16,914 --> 00:09:18,281
Badly? Well...
254
00:09:18,282 --> 00:09:19,833
- How are you?
- Good.
255
00:09:25,172 --> 00:09:26,139
What the hell are you doing?
256
00:09:26,140 --> 00:09:27,257
That girl she's talking to?
257
00:09:27,258 --> 00:09:28,958
I dated her.
258
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:31,595
Oh, that sucks!
259
00:09:31,596 --> 00:09:33,680
And dibs.
260
00:09:37,064 --> 00:09:40,032
So you went on one date
with one of her friends.
261
00:09:40,033 --> 00:09:41,884
It's not necessarily a big deal.
262
00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:43,519
I mean, did it end on bad terms?
263
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:45,705
Um...
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00:09:45,706 --> 00:09:47,873
Oh, hi Cindy.
265
00:09:47,874 --> 00:09:49,692
(Mean & mocking):
Oh, hi Cindy. (Raspberry)
266
00:09:51,995 --> 00:09:53,663
Yikes.
267
00:09:53,664 --> 00:09:55,665
Well, I guess you just got to move on.
268
00:09:55,666 --> 00:09:56,832
I mean, it's not like you have a shot
269
00:09:56,833 --> 00:09:59,101
with Ready McGee over there, right?
270
00:10:00,337 --> 00:10:01,404
Ted?
271
00:10:01,405 --> 00:10:03,055
Then I remembered.
272
00:10:03,056 --> 00:10:04,724
Cindy had a roommate.
273
00:10:04,725 --> 00:10:08,043
A roommate
I only caught a glimpse of...
274
00:10:08,762 --> 00:10:10,146
But a roommate who,
275
00:10:10,147 --> 00:10:13,899
by every indication,
was something very special.
276
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,435
Was it possible?
277
00:10:16,436 --> 00:10:20,723
Could this be the girl
attached to that ankle?
278
00:10:21,908 --> 00:10:25,044
I got to see her ankles.
279
00:10:25,045 --> 00:10:26,796
You're one of those?
280
00:10:26,797 --> 00:10:29,248
God, I swear, one in five guys...
281
00:10:29,249 --> 00:10:31,066
Marshall:
Lily!
282
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:33,169
We kind of had a plan tonight,
remember?
283
00:10:33,170 --> 00:10:34,954
Candles? Banjo?
284
00:10:34,955 --> 00:10:37,256
Who else did you tell?
Did you tell anyone at the office?
285
00:10:37,257 --> 00:10:39,508
Um...
286
00:10:39,509 --> 00:10:41,677
(Sighs)
287
00:10:42,963 --> 00:10:44,347
Shannon?
288
00:10:44,348 --> 00:10:46,682
Start the music.
289
00:10:46,683 --> 00:10:48,301
(Rock music playing)
290
00:10:48,302 --> 00:10:50,353
(Cheers and applause)
291
00:10:50,354 --> 00:10:53,105
Can you dig it?!
292
00:10:53,106 --> 00:10:55,558
(Cheers)
293
00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:57,426
Take it to the hole, Eriksen!
294
00:10:57,427 --> 00:10:59,645
Sink that putt, big fuzz!
295
00:10:59,646 --> 00:11:01,397
Put a pillow under her lower back.
296
00:11:01,398 --> 00:11:04,533
It helps facilitate conception, bro!
297
00:11:07,604 --> 00:11:08,904
(Yells)
298
00:11:08,905 --> 00:11:10,156
(All cheering)
299
00:11:10,157 --> 00:11:12,775
I may have mentioned it in passing
300
00:11:12,776 --> 00:11:14,577
to a couple of colleagues at work.
301
00:11:14,578 --> 00:11:16,579
I'm sorry about that,
but you know what?
302
00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:18,781
I got to be able to tell my dad.
303
00:11:18,782 --> 00:11:21,384
Your dad is the last person
you should tell!
304
00:11:21,385 --> 00:11:23,952
The man is too involved in our lives!
305
00:11:23,953 --> 00:11:26,722
It's like, every time the phone rings...
306
00:11:26,723 --> 00:11:28,391
Hello.
307
00:11:28,392 --> 00:11:30,009
Lily, Marvin Eriksen.
308
00:11:30,010 --> 00:11:32,261
I noticed you hadn't changed
your last name yet.
309
00:11:32,262 --> 00:11:33,629
No, I'm gonna...
310
00:11:33,630 --> 00:11:35,398
So, don't worry. I called the DMV,
311
00:11:35,399 --> 00:11:38,401
I called your Amex, I got
that process started for you.
312
00:11:39,236 --> 00:11:41,170
(Phone rings)
Hello.
313
00:11:41,171 --> 00:11:42,805
Lily, Marvin Eriksen.
314
00:11:42,806 --> 00:11:43,873
I understand
315
00:11:43,874 --> 00:11:45,274
you and Marshall have been fighting.
316
00:11:45,275 --> 00:11:48,077
Well, let me tell you what works
for me and the missus.
317
00:11:48,078 --> 00:11:50,679
Frilly French undies
and a box of wine.
318
00:11:51,448 --> 00:11:53,082
(Phone rings)
Hello.
319
00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:55,301
You might want to try
pickles on that sandwich.
320
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,472
Pickles would have helped
that sandwich!
321
00:11:59,473 --> 00:12:01,841
The man has no boundaries.
322
00:12:01,842 --> 00:12:04,877
And I just can't procreate
under these conditions!
323
00:12:04,878 --> 00:12:06,161
Yeah, well, you know what?
324
00:12:06,162 --> 00:12:08,547
I've already told him,
so the damage is done.
325
00:12:08,548 --> 00:12:11,517
So, call him and tell him
we decided not to have a baby.
326
00:12:11,518 --> 00:12:13,001
(Laughs)
Okay, so you just...
327
00:12:13,002 --> 00:12:15,388
You want me to give my dad a stroke?
328
00:12:15,389 --> 00:12:16,555
(Imitates Marshall's laugh)
329
00:12:16,556 --> 00:12:18,874
Only if you want to give this a stroke.
330
00:12:18,875 --> 00:12:19,975
That's ridiculous.
331
00:12:19,976 --> 00:12:22,228
Lily, there is no way
that I would ever...
332
00:12:24,030 --> 00:12:26,065
Okay, everyone needs
333
00:12:26,066 --> 00:12:28,017
to shut up so that I can think!
334
00:12:28,018 --> 00:12:31,237
Uh-oh. They're talking to a guy now.
335
00:12:31,238 --> 00:12:33,255
What kind of guy?
A cheesy guy or a cool guy?
336
00:12:33,256 --> 00:12:34,623
Oh, a cheesy guy. Don't worry.
337
00:12:34,624 --> 00:12:36,509
Oh, man!
338
00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:37,693
That guy is cool.
339
00:12:37,694 --> 00:12:40,329
His hair's all cool, he's got a cool belt.
340
00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:42,047
Well, that guy is cheesy,
341
00:12:42,048 --> 00:12:43,966
and if you think he's not cheesy,
342
00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:47,303
then you're cheesy, too,
and now I want something cheesy.
343
00:12:47,304 --> 00:12:49,438
Who's feeling nachos?
344
00:12:49,439 --> 00:12:50,689
Oh, look at you, Robin.
345
00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:51,891
You're jealous.
346
00:12:51,892 --> 00:12:53,159
Jealous?
347
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:54,393
Yeah, jealous,
348
00:12:54,394 --> 00:12:57,045
because she's got it,
and you've lost it.
349
00:12:57,046 --> 00:12:59,281
I have not lost it.
350
00:12:59,282 --> 00:13:00,382
You lost it.
351
00:13:00,383 --> 00:13:02,184
I still have it.
352
00:13:02,185 --> 00:13:03,986
I know exactly where it is,
353
00:13:03,987 --> 00:13:06,989
and I can go get it whenever I want.
354
00:13:06,990 --> 00:13:09,859
Robin, girls are like cartons of milk.
355
00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:11,760
Each one has a hotness
expiration date,
356
00:13:11,761 --> 00:13:13,412
and you've hit yours.
357
00:13:13,413 --> 00:13:16,198
I'm not saying the occasional
guy won't still open the fridge,
358
00:13:16,199 --> 00:13:19,151
pick you up, give a sniff,
shrug and take a sip anyway.
359
00:13:19,152 --> 00:13:21,120
But it's all downhill from here.
360
00:13:21,121 --> 00:13:23,238
I don't have to take this.
361
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:27,092
But I do have to take this.
362
00:13:28,879 --> 00:13:30,245
Okay, so you just want me
363
00:13:30,246 --> 00:13:31,597
to call my dad and tell him
364
00:13:31,598 --> 00:13:32,798
that we're not having a baby?
365
00:13:32,799 --> 00:13:34,266
That's about the size of it.
366
00:13:34,267 --> 00:13:36,552
Okay, out of curiosity,
367
00:13:36,553 --> 00:13:38,821
when do we tell him
about the baby?
368
00:13:38,822 --> 00:13:40,088
We'll tell him about the baby
369
00:13:40,089 --> 00:13:41,891
when there's a baby
to tell him about.
370
00:13:41,892 --> 00:13:43,943
So, he just gets no notice?
371
00:13:43,944 --> 00:13:45,778
He just walks into his boss's office,
372
00:13:45,779 --> 00:13:47,596
and says, "I just had a grandson.
373
00:13:47,597 --> 00:13:49,465
I'm gonna be out for three months."
374
00:13:49,466 --> 00:13:51,167
Out for three months?
375
00:13:51,168 --> 00:13:52,535
Yeah.
376
00:13:52,536 --> 00:13:53,619
He and my mom are coming
377
00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:55,287
to live with us when the baby's born.
378
00:13:56,239 --> 00:13:57,389
We talked about this.
379
00:13:57,390 --> 00:13:58,858
No, we didn't.
380
00:13:58,859 --> 00:14:01,026
I meant, me and my dad.
381
00:14:01,027 --> 00:14:02,127
You know what, Marshall?
382
00:14:02,128 --> 00:14:04,446
Why don't you have a baby
with your dad?
383
00:14:04,447 --> 00:14:05,948
Oh, okay, Lily.
384
00:14:05,949 --> 00:14:08,417
Why don't you have a baby
with your butt?
385
00:14:08,418 --> 00:14:09,451
What?
386
00:14:09,452 --> 00:14:10,586
(Grunts)
387
00:14:10,587 --> 00:14:12,555
I can't think straight!
388
00:14:12,556 --> 00:14:14,924
Why do you have to wear that shirt?
389
00:14:14,925 --> 00:14:18,561
This is not how I thought
this night was going to go!
390
00:14:18,562 --> 00:14:20,729
(Yells)
391
00:14:24,467 --> 00:14:26,134
Ted?
392
00:14:30,379 --> 00:14:33,380
Oh, God, this sucks!
Do you think she saw me?
393
00:14:33,381 --> 00:14:34,414
Hi, Ted!
394
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,500
Yeah, she definitely saw you.
395
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:39,119
Can I see you for a minute...
In private?
396
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,121
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
397
00:14:41,122 --> 00:14:44,341
I mean, how could that not be fun?
398
00:14:46,294 --> 00:14:49,496
If I don't come back,
tell my mom I love her.
399
00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,431
Okay, will do. And dibs.
400
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,736
Barney, am I crazy?
401
00:14:55,737 --> 00:14:58,155
Marshall talks to his dad
way too much, right?
402
00:14:58,156 --> 00:15:00,524
Oh, you don't want
my opinion on that.
403
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:01,508
Why not?
404
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,610
If I had my dad's number,
405
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,647
i would never not be
on the phone with him.
406
00:15:06,648 --> 00:15:08,448
Wow, that was really...
407
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,434
Whoa, a hottie with a body!
408
00:15:10,435 --> 00:15:12,336
Boing...!
409
00:15:12,337 --> 00:15:13,387
Brief.
410
00:15:13,388 --> 00:15:15,122
No. Lily, look.
411
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,460
You saucy little minx.
412
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,663
You sundressed up.
413
00:15:24,849 --> 00:15:26,049
Hi.
414
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,334
(Laughs)
415
00:15:27,335 --> 00:15:28,652
14 seconds!
416
00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,621
14 seconds, and already
417
00:15:30,622 --> 00:15:32,105
some dingdong is stepping up,
418
00:15:32,106 --> 00:15:34,575
thinking he can get
some of this broke off.
419
00:15:34,576 --> 00:15:35,776
Oh!
420
00:15:35,777 --> 00:15:38,562
I... still... got... it.
421
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:40,647
(Laughs)
422
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,849
All right, buddy, you proved my point.
Now scram.
423
00:15:43,635 --> 00:15:45,986
Nice belt, by the way.
424
00:15:48,089 --> 00:15:49,356
Hey.
425
00:15:49,357 --> 00:15:50,407
Wow.
426
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,292
Robin, you do look super hot.
427
00:15:52,293 --> 00:15:53,526
Oh, do I?
428
00:15:53,527 --> 00:15:54,711
Yeah, you do.
429
00:15:54,712 --> 00:15:56,496
Thanks.
430
00:15:59,384 --> 00:16:01,552
Narrator: I braced
myself for what was next:
431
00:16:01,553 --> 00:16:04,421
Rage, fury, a possible shanking.
432
00:16:06,558 --> 00:16:07,775
Thank you, Ted.
433
00:16:07,776 --> 00:16:09,560
After things didn't work out with us,
434
00:16:09,561 --> 00:16:11,395
I got really sad for a while.
435
00:16:11,396 --> 00:16:13,247
But then I realized,
436
00:16:13,248 --> 00:16:16,016
you're not what I wanted, Ted,
and I'm not what you wanted.
437
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,517
I'm sorry I was such a jerk.
438
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,020
I feel like I should
make it up to you somehow.
439
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:22,289
You know, buy you a beer
or Yankees tickets, or...
440
00:16:22,290 --> 00:16:24,575
Or set me up with one of your friends.
441
00:16:24,576 --> 00:16:26,193
No, I'm kidding. That would be weird.
442
00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:28,112
- No, it wouldn't.
- It wouldn't, would it?
443
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,963
Any one of those three.
444
00:16:29,964 --> 00:16:31,915
Whichever's easiest and right nearby.
445
00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:33,851
And not the beer.
446
00:16:33,852 --> 00:16:34,868
I should get back.
447
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:35,919
Totally.
448
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,721
Come say good-bye
before you leave.
449
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,707
Say good-bye before you leave?
450
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,209
Her words exactly.
451
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,011
Dude, you are so in.
452
00:16:44,012 --> 00:16:45,212
That is so awesome.
453
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,014
A high five doesn't even cut it.
454
00:16:47,015 --> 00:16:49,316
High six!
455
00:16:49,317 --> 00:16:51,702
She didn't see us high-six, did she?
456
00:16:51,703 --> 00:16:53,353
No. Good. That was pretty lame.
457
00:16:53,354 --> 00:16:56,356
Yeah, let's never do that again.
458
00:16:56,357 --> 00:16:57,524
Lily: Marshall?
459
00:16:57,525 --> 00:16:58,609
What? Lily, what?
460
00:16:58,610 --> 00:17:00,110
Are there more members
461
00:17:00,111 --> 00:17:02,162
of my family that you
want to crap all over?
462
00:17:02,163 --> 00:17:04,564
- Here's the thing.
- I'm sorry. Hold on.
463
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:06,083
Just...
464
00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:07,618
It's my dad.
465
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,121
Lily, it's my dad, okay?
466
00:17:11,122 --> 00:17:14,608
I love him, and if he calls me,
I'm gonna answer the phone!
467
00:17:16,377 --> 00:17:18,011
Hey, dad.
468
00:17:18,012 --> 00:17:20,597
Hey, hey. I know it's late,
but I just had to call.
469
00:17:20,598 --> 00:17:22,216
- How'd it go?
- Dad, this is...
470
00:17:22,217 --> 00:17:23,600
Did you do everything the books say?
471
00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:25,135
Did you put the pillow
under her back?
472
00:17:25,136 --> 00:17:26,703
Dad, I'm in the middle
of something right now.
473
00:17:26,704 --> 00:17:28,305
Did it feel like a boy? Huh?
474
00:17:28,306 --> 00:17:29,523
You can tell.
475
00:17:29,524 --> 00:17:31,225
He's insane.
476
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:33,760
My dad is insane.
477
00:17:34,729 --> 00:17:37,397
I'm so sorry, lily.
478
00:17:38,450 --> 00:17:40,234
He's just...
479
00:17:40,235 --> 00:17:44,437
He's so, um...
480
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,507
Enthusiastic.
481
00:17:46,508 --> 00:17:48,492
It's ridiculous, you know?
482
00:17:48,493 --> 00:17:50,577
Like, who's like that?
483
00:17:51,412 --> 00:17:53,497
You.
484
00:17:53,498 --> 00:17:55,983
You're like that.
485
00:17:55,984 --> 00:18:00,003
You and your dad both care so much.
486
00:18:00,004 --> 00:18:02,289
It's... it's why women fall in love
487
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:05,075
with the Eriksen men to begin with.
488
00:18:05,977 --> 00:18:08,745
But right now, it's a lot of pressure.
489
00:18:08,746 --> 00:18:11,315
Baby, I'm not trying to
pressure you one bit.
490
00:18:11,316 --> 00:18:13,851
What if I can't have a baby?
491
00:18:14,903 --> 00:18:17,070
That could happen.
492
00:18:17,071 --> 00:18:19,857
I could totally let you down.
493
00:18:19,858 --> 00:18:23,694
Has that thought
not occurred to you?
494
00:18:25,113 --> 00:18:27,114
Not even for one second.
495
00:18:31,669 --> 00:18:34,955
Not having a baby would suck,
496
00:18:34,956 --> 00:18:37,875
but the idea of you letting me down...
497
00:18:37,876 --> 00:18:41,361
That's impossible.
498
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:45,349
That would be like aliens landing.
499
00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:49,520
That's a bad example,
because that could happen.
500
00:18:49,521 --> 00:18:50,771
It probably already has.
501
00:18:50,772 --> 00:18:53,223
I saw this, uh, episode...
502
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:58,946
All right.
503
00:18:58,947 --> 00:19:00,464
I'm doing this.
504
00:19:00,465 --> 00:19:02,566
I am going over there.
505
00:19:10,141 --> 00:19:12,826
Wish me luck.
506
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:19,216
Narrator: Kids, nothing in this
life quite compares to the sweet,
507
00:19:19,217 --> 00:19:22,219
terrifying exhilaration
of making your move.
508
00:19:22,220 --> 00:19:25,589
When you just put it all
on the line and go for it.
509
00:19:25,590 --> 00:19:28,859
And that night, by golly,
510
00:19:28,860 --> 00:19:31,094
Cindy went for it.
511
00:19:43,107 --> 00:19:46,093
(Click)
512
00:19:46,094 --> 00:19:50,180
So no, that girl wasn't your mother.
513
00:19:50,181 --> 00:19:52,282
She ended up being
someone else's mother.
514
00:19:52,283 --> 00:19:54,501
In fact, they both did.
515
00:20:04,128 --> 00:20:05,578
Like I said,
516
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:06,964
she's here on a date.
517
00:20:06,965 --> 00:20:09,266
Narrator: So that was not
the day I met your mother.
518
00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:13,020
The day I met your mother
was the day of a wedding.
519
00:20:13,021 --> 00:20:14,587
Okay, maybe I'm a little nervous.
520
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,056
Dude, it's just a wedding toast.
521
00:20:16,057 --> 00:20:19,026
I know. I just... I want
it to be great, you know?
522
00:20:19,027 --> 00:20:21,028
I want this whole day to be great.
523
00:20:21,029 --> 00:20:22,613
It will be.
524
00:20:22,614 --> 00:20:23,647
Best man?
525
00:20:23,648 --> 00:20:24,648
You're being summoned.
526
00:20:24,649 --> 00:20:26,283
Geez, what now?
527
00:20:26,284 --> 00:20:29,620
Ted, seriously, relax. Everything's...
528
00:20:29,621 --> 00:20:30,821
Okay, and it's raining.
529
00:20:30,822 --> 00:20:32,072
Yeah. You were saying?
530
00:20:32,073 --> 00:20:34,374
You didn't happen to bring
an umbrella, did you?
531
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:36,326
No. I didn't bring an umbrella.
532
00:20:42,833 --> 00:20:45,668
I mean, everyone told us that
it might take a while, but...
533
00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:48,404
We thought we might be
the exception to the rule.
534
00:20:49,305 --> 00:20:51,306
Anyways, we're getting
back on that horse.
535
00:20:51,307 --> 00:20:54,343
I mean, feeling good
about the future.
536
00:20:56,879 --> 00:20:58,597
Obviously, this goes without saying,
537
00:20:58,598 --> 00:21:00,816
but you won't tell Lily
about any of this, right?
538
00:21:00,817 --> 00:21:02,585
No! Of course! Absolutely!
539
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000
Sync by fant0m, corrected by gloriabg
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