1 00:00:00,791 --> 00:00:02,708 So, here's what you missed last season on Glee. 2 00:00:02,776 --> 00:00:04,743 Quinn had a baby, Finn and Rachel are in love, 3 00:00:04,811 --> 00:00:06,679 Sue's going easy on Will, and even though the Glee Club 4 00:00:06,746 --> 00:00:08,614 worked really hard to get to Regionals, they didn't win. 5 00:00:08,682 --> 00:00:10,683 Vocal Adrenaline! But it's okay to not win an award, 6 00:00:10,750 --> 00:00:12,885 particularly when you had so much fun getting there, right? 7 00:00:12,952 --> 00:00:14,319 Right? 8 00:00:14,387 --> 00:00:15,788 We didn't even place. 9 00:00:15,855 --> 00:00:18,691 And that's what you missed on Glee. [school bell ringing] 10 00:00:18,758 --> 00:00:22,394 Up here. Come on, focus. Okay. 11 00:00:22,462 --> 00:00:25,764 Hi, I'm Jacob Ben Israel with Glee's Big Gay Summer, 12 00:00:25,832 --> 00:00:28,434 with all the Glee Club dish you're dying to know. 13 00:00:28,501 --> 00:00:30,102 Rachel, how do you respond to rumors 14 00:00:30,170 --> 00:00:32,037 you're incredibly difficult to work with? 15 00:00:32,105 --> 00:00:33,972 Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that. 16 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,174 We've been dating all summer. 17 00:00:35,241 --> 00:00:37,810 Rachel's what you'd call a controllist. 18 00:00:37,877 --> 00:00:39,978 I-I'm controlling. "Controllist" isn't a word. 19 00:00:40,046 --> 00:00:42,948 Oh. I'm controlling. Performing is my life. 20 00:00:43,016 --> 00:00:45,484 And yes, do I have opinions about it? 21 00:00:45,552 --> 00:00:47,519 Does my need to constantly express those opinions 22 00:00:47,587 --> 00:00:50,489 - annoy my fellow Glee Clubbers? - Yes. 23 00:00:50,557 --> 00:00:53,192 That was out loud, wasn't it? 24 00:00:53,259 --> 00:00:55,928 Will Schuester, how do you respond to a recent post 25 00:00:55,995 --> 00:00:58,764 on my blog saying your Glee Club song selections 26 00:00:58,832 --> 00:01:01,934 sound like they come from a drag queen's iPod? 27 00:01:02,001 --> 00:01:04,103 Well, I try to do something for everybody. 28 00:01:04,170 --> 00:01:08,540 Uh, 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock... 29 00:01:08,608 --> 00:01:10,175 100% gay. 30 00:01:10,243 --> 00:01:11,710 [school bell ringing] Confirm or deny the rumor 31 00:01:11,778 --> 00:01:13,912 that because you knocked up Quinn Fabray, 32 00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:17,249 you spent all your summer pool cleaning money on a vasectomy. 33 00:01:17,317 --> 00:01:18,684 It's true. 34 00:01:18,752 --> 00:01:20,419 It was the responsible thing to do. 35 00:01:20,487 --> 00:01:23,422 Is it also true you're suffering from a crippling depression 36 00:01:23,490 --> 00:01:26,892 because you're not over Miss Fabray? 37 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:31,263 How has life changed since the birth of your bastard child? 38 00:01:31,331 --> 00:01:35,134 Well, I'm happy to be back, and I'm ready to start fresh. 39 00:01:35,201 --> 00:01:38,904 And... I'm a lot less hormonal, 40 00:01:38,972 --> 00:01:40,739 so... so there's not really any crying. 41 00:01:40,807 --> 00:01:44,243 - How was your summer? - My eyes are up here, JewFro. 42 00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:47,146 - And it was uneventful. - People thought I went on vacation, 43 00:01:47,213 --> 00:01:49,581 but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers. 44 00:01:49,649 --> 00:01:50,783 What can you say 45 00:01:50,850 --> 00:01:52,818 about the rumors the two of you are dating? 46 00:01:52,886 --> 00:01:54,887 Because we're both Asian? That's racist. 47 00:01:54,954 --> 00:01:59,825 Totally racist. [school bell ringing] 48 00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:04,884 Did you get that? Did you get that? You saw it here first. 49 00:02:06,556 --> 00:02:10,936 Did you know there's a forum on my blog that's begging you to stop rapping? 50 00:02:11,004 --> 00:02:13,205 Wait, th-the kids don't like it when I rap? 51 00:02:14,339 --> 00:02:16,942 When will you Glee Clubbers accept the fact that people hate you Kiss it, Jacob. 52 00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:19,678 and think you're nothing but a glorified karaoke club Go away, go away. 53 00:02:19,746 --> 00:02:22,381 designed to make the inventors of AutoTune millions of dollars? 54 00:02:22,448 --> 00:02:25,017 When exactly did you ink your sponsorship with Lands' End? 55 00:02:25,084 --> 00:02:28,654 When are you slated to make your triumphant return to the Shire? 56 00:02:28,721 --> 00:02:30,322 How do you get the white on rice? 57 00:02:30,390 --> 00:02:31,924 What did you do with all that breast milk? 58 00:02:31,991 --> 00:02:34,927 You know what, Jacob? It doesn't take much courage for people 59 00:02:34,994 --> 00:02:36,895 to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barcaloungers 60 00:02:36,963 --> 00:02:38,197 and log on to the Internet 61 00:02:38,264 --> 00:02:39,765 and start tearing people down, does it? 62 00:02:39,833 --> 00:02:41,567 But you know what does take some courage? 63 00:02:41,634 --> 00:02:44,069 Standing up and singing about something. 64 00:02:44,137 --> 00:02:46,538 So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog. 65 00:02:46,606 --> 00:02:48,841 Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online, 66 00:02:48,908 --> 00:02:55,414 - say what you have to say to my face. - Welcome back, lady! 67 00:02:55,481 --> 00:02:57,216 Whoo! [laughter] 68 00:02:59,986 --> 00:03:03,755 I don't suppose there's any way you could just cut out that last part, is there? 69 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,902 Glee. 70 00:03:14,937 --> 00:03:19,937 Synced by Rafael UPD and YesCool Corrected by YesCool www.addic7ed.com 71 00:03:30,683 --> 00:03:34,619 Hey, why so glum, William? Cat crap in your coffee? 72 00:03:34,687 --> 00:03:36,855 Or are you worried no one's signing up for your little club there? 73 00:03:36,923 --> 00:03:39,758 Nah, not at all, Sue. Nationals are in New York City this year. 74 00:03:39,825 --> 00:03:41,793 I think that list is gonna be filled up in no time. 75 00:03:41,861 --> 00:03:43,161 Well, you know what your problem is? 76 00:03:43,229 --> 00:03:45,830 "No tryouts, just sign up." 77 00:03:45,898 --> 00:03:49,000 Nobody wants to be part of a club that just anyone can join. 78 00:03:49,068 --> 00:03:52,304 See this? It's a court summons child endangerment 79 00:03:52,371 --> 00:03:55,707 'cause there's been a line of would-be Cheerios! out there since late July. 80 00:03:55,775 --> 00:03:58,109 I guess they lost their humanity a little bit. 81 00:03:58,177 --> 00:04:00,078 One girl ate a pigeon, several others 82 00:04:00,146 --> 00:04:03,114 started worshipping a possum carcass as their lord. 83 00:04:03,182 --> 00:04:05,650 That's how much they want to be Cheerios! 84 00:04:05,718 --> 00:04:06,985 Well, sorry, Sue. 85 00:04:07,053 --> 00:04:10,622 Anyone who wants to join Glee Club gets to join. 86 00:04:10,690 --> 00:04:12,591 Oh, God, Will, let me break it down for you. 87 00:04:12,658 --> 00:04:15,227 High school is a dry run for the rest of your life. 88 00:04:15,294 --> 00:04:18,663 Not everyone can be champions. Not everyone should be champions. 89 00:04:18,731 --> 00:04:21,299 We need fry cooks and bus drivers. 90 00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:24,169 Well, Sue, it's how I work, and it's not going to change. 91 00:04:24,237 --> 00:04:25,904 I like being friends with you, Will. 92 00:04:25,972 --> 00:04:27,372 This is fun. [chuckles] 93 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,642 You make not trying to destroy Glee Club easy. You know why? 94 00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:32,677 'Cause you're doing such a bang-up job of it 95 00:04:32,745 --> 00:04:34,079 all by yourself. 96 00:04:34,146 --> 00:04:35,180 [phone vibrating] 97 00:04:35,248 --> 00:04:40,212 Oh, it's time to feed my gimp. Oh, and also, Figgins wants to see us. 98 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,388 Ah-ah-ah! Not you! Hands off that list. 99 00:04:43,456 --> 00:04:45,523 [school bell ringing] 100 00:04:45,591 --> 00:04:47,125 Cut my budget? 101 00:04:47,193 --> 00:04:49,527 You can't cut my budget without written consent 102 00:04:49,595 --> 00:04:51,696 from the President of the Federal Reserve! 103 00:04:51,764 --> 00:04:55,200 - It's in my contract! - Oh, Sue, I think you can manage 104 00:04:55,268 --> 00:04:58,136 a sixth national title without two confetti cannons. 105 00:04:58,204 --> 00:05:00,272 Do you think your kids can manage life without their daddy? 106 00:05:00,339 --> 00:05:01,940 We're barely surviving on the budget we have. 107 00:05:02,008 --> 00:05:04,509 Slashing the Glee budget by ten percent, 108 00:05:04,577 --> 00:05:06,011 cutting our transportation to and from events 109 00:05:06,078 --> 00:05:09,514 - is like cutting our legs off. - Sacrifices must be made. 110 00:05:09,582 --> 00:05:11,650 This is being mandated at the district level, guys. 111 00:05:11,717 --> 00:05:14,519 Studies show that the best way to bring in alumni donations 112 00:05:14,587 --> 00:05:18,056 is through a successful athletic department specifically, 113 00:05:18,124 --> 00:05:20,099 - a winning football team. - Who's this? 114 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,728 I'm Shannon Beiste, I'm the new football coach. 115 00:05:23,796 --> 00:05:25,797 Spelled B-E-I-S-T-E. 116 00:05:25,865 --> 00:05:27,465 It's French. - I'm sorry, 117 00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:30,322 - what happened to Ken Tanaka? - Nervous breakdown. 118 00:05:30,357 --> 00:05:33,571 Don't look at it as a punishment, 119 00:05:33,639 --> 00:05:36,441 look at it as an investment into your clubs' futures. 120 00:05:36,509 --> 00:05:37,876 The more money the football program 121 00:05:37,943 --> 00:05:41,137 brings in, the more I can give back to you guys! 122 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,915 Coach Beiste here is fresh off her fifth consecutive 123 00:05:43,983 --> 00:05:46,618 all-Missouri high school football championship. 124 00:05:46,686 --> 00:05:48,019 We're very lucky to have her! 125 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,600 What can I say? I like a challenge. 126 00:05:50,723 --> 00:05:54,459 First of all, a female football coach, like a male nurse-- 127 00:05:54,527 --> 00:05:56,061 sin against nature. 128 00:05:56,128 --> 00:05:59,931 Number two, I'm sure you're used to Hillbilly parents 129 00:05:59,999 --> 00:06:01,933 yelping adulation at you as they attempt 130 00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:05,637 to impregnate the tailpipes of various off-road vehicles. 131 00:06:05,705 --> 00:06:09,240 But you're in my house now, Beiste. 132 00:06:09,308 --> 00:06:12,577 No one comes into my house and steals from me. 133 00:06:12,645 --> 00:06:17,248 Do not get up in a panther's business, lady. 134 00:06:17,316 --> 00:06:22,520 - You're all coffee and no omelet. - That doesn't make any sense. 135 00:06:22,588 --> 00:06:26,257 Coach, Beiste, I think you understand our frustration. 136 00:06:26,325 --> 00:06:29,897 - Our budgets just got cut by ten percent. - It should have been more! 137 00:06:29,899 --> 00:06:31,563 You think there's not something wrong when 138 00:06:31,630 --> 00:06:33,575 the cheerleaders' budget's higher than the people 139 00:06:33,578 --> 00:06:36,334 - who they're cheering for? - Well, sure, but the Glee Club is a... 140 00:06:36,402 --> 00:06:38,336 The Glee Club? You came in third last year 141 00:06:38,404 --> 00:06:40,772 and you're asking for more money? 142 00:06:42,074 --> 00:06:45,431 That's a steer with six teats and no oink. 143 00:06:49,248 --> 00:06:51,316 - This doesn't make any sense. - What? 144 00:06:51,384 --> 00:06:52,584 [school bell ringing] 145 00:06:52,651 --> 00:06:54,853 These are comments from Jacob Ben-Israel's 146 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:59,124 most recent Glee Club blog. "Glee is a giant ball of suck." 147 00:06:59,191 --> 00:07:01,593 We get it, Mr. Shue. Everyone still hates us. 148 00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:04,763 So what? So we're plankton on the high school food chain? 149 00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:07,297 Only difference now is that none of us really care. 150 00:07:07,459 --> 00:07:08,967 Kurt's right. We're a family. 151 00:07:08,968 --> 00:07:11,026 They can bring it all they want. None of it is going to break us. 152 00:07:11,061 --> 00:07:12,604 Okay, I'm really happy that you guys have all bonded. 153 00:07:12,671 --> 00:07:15,707 The problem is that all of this negative stuff 154 00:07:15,775 --> 00:07:17,609 is keeping other students from auditioning. 155 00:07:18,095 --> 00:07:19,811 Good. Why do we need new members? 156 00:07:19,846 --> 00:07:22,614 Well, since Matt transferred, we only have 11 members, 157 00:07:22,681 --> 00:07:25,049 and if we want to go to Nationals, if we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline, 158 00:07:25,117 --> 00:07:29,045 we have to go from a small rebel force to a giant wall of sound. 159 00:07:29,486 --> 00:07:30,855 Yeah, Mr. Schuester's right, you guys. 160 00:07:30,923 --> 00:07:33,692 You didn't see Vocal Adrenaline at Regionals. They were epic. 161 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,933 We're going to need more voices in order to beat them. 162 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:39,164 - Yeah. I'm with Rachel on this one. - Gross. 163 00:07:39,832 --> 00:07:41,561 You're going to have to trust me on this, guys. 164 00:07:41,785 --> 00:07:46,001 Now, here's the plan. Nationals are in New York this year, 165 00:07:46,217 --> 00:07:50,074 and we are going. [laughs] Now let's go out there 166 00:07:50,142 --> 00:07:51,709 and show the school how cool it's going to be, 167 00:07:51,777 --> 00:08:01,052 how cool we can be. If they're not going to come to us, let's go to them. They say we only sing show tunes and '80s pop. Let's show them how down we are. 168 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,923 Let's give them the song of the year, New Directions! style. 169 00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:06,357 Okay. Whoo! Whoo! Yeah! 170 00:08:06,358 --> 00:08:09,310 [# Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys] 171 00:08:10,996 --> 00:08:12,430 ♪ Bum bum bum ♪ 172 00:08:12,498 --> 00:08:15,834 ♪ Bah bah bah bah bah ♪ 173 00:08:15,901 --> 00:08:17,502 ♪ Bah bah bah ♪ ♪ Bum bum bum ♪ 174 00:08:17,570 --> 00:08:19,771 ♪ Bah bah bah bah bah ♪ 175 00:08:19,839 --> 00:08:21,773 ♪ Bah bah bah ♪ 176 00:08:21,841 --> 00:08:23,541 ♪ Yeah, yeah, I'm out that Brooklyn ♪ 177 00:08:23,727 --> 00:08:25,243 ♪ Now I'm down in Tribeca ♪ 178 00:08:25,311 --> 00:08:28,081 ♪ Right next to DeNiro, but I'll be hood forever ♪ 179 00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:28,947 ♪ I'm the new Sinatra ♪ 180 00:08:29,014 --> 00:08:31,816 ♪ And since I made it here, I can make it anywhere ♪ 181 00:08:31,884 --> 00:08:32,851 ♪ Yeah, they love me everywhere ♪ 182 00:08:32,918 --> 00:08:35,653 ♪ I used to cop in Harlem ♪ ♪ All of my Dominicanos ♪ 183 00:08:35,721 --> 00:08:37,589 ♪ Right there up on Broadway ♪ 184 00:08:37,656 --> 00:08:39,057 ♪ Pull me back to that McDonald's ♪ 185 00:08:39,124 --> 00:08:41,793 ♪ Took it to my stash box, 560 State Street ♪ 186 00:08:41,861 --> 00:08:44,329 ♪ Catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons whippin' pastries ♪ 187 00:08:44,396 --> 00:08:45,830 - # Aah, ooh # - # Eight million stories # 188 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,333 ♪ Out there in it naked ♪ ♪ City, it's a pity ♪ 189 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,134 ♪ Half of y'all won't make it ♪ 190 00:08:50,202 --> 00:08:52,170 ♪ Me, I got a plug, Special Ed "I Got It Made" ♪ 191 00:08:52,238 --> 00:08:55,173 ♪ If Jesus payin' LeBron, I'm payin' Dwyane Wade ♪ 192 00:08:55,241 --> 00:08:58,543 # Aah # # Three dice cee-lo, three card monte # 193 00:08:58,611 --> 00:09:00,445 ♪ Labor Day Parade, rest in peace, Bob Marley ♪ 194 00:09:00,513 --> 00:09:04,048 # Jigga I be Spik'd out # # I could trip a referee # 195 00:09:04,116 --> 00:09:07,852 ♪ Tell by my attitude that I'm most definitely from ♪ 196 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,621 - # New York # - # Hey # 197 00:09:09,688 --> 00:09:13,758 ♪ Concrete jungle where dreams are made of ♪ 198 00:09:13,826 --> 00:09:16,694 - # There's nothin' you can't do # - # That Brooklyn # 199 00:09:17,052 --> 00:09:21,199 - # Now you're in New York # - # You're in New York # 200 00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:22,667 # Welcome to the bright lights, baby # 201 00:09:22,735 --> 00:09:24,402 ♪ These streets will make you feel brand new ♪ 202 00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:27,672 ♪ Big lights will inspire you ♪ 203 00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:33,144 ♪ Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York ♪ 204 00:09:33,212 --> 00:09:35,146 # Yeah # 205 00:09:35,214 --> 00:09:38,182 ♪ One hand in the air for the big city ♪ 206 00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:40,652 ♪ Street lights, big dreams, all lookin' pretty ♪ 207 00:09:40,719 --> 00:09:43,354 ♪ No place in the world that could compare ♪ 208 00:09:43,422 --> 00:09:44,355 # Put your lighters in the air # 209 00:09:44,423 --> 00:09:48,192 # Everybody say "Yeah, yeah" # 210 00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:51,296 # Yeah, yeah # 211 00:09:51,363 --> 00:09:54,399 # In New York # 212 00:09:54,466 --> 00:09:57,735 # Concrete jungle where dreams are made of # 213 00:09:57,803 --> 00:10:00,572 # There's nothing you can't do # 214 00:10:00,639 --> 00:10:02,941 # Now you're in New York # 215 00:10:03,008 --> 00:10:05,610 # New York, New York # 216 00:10:05,678 --> 00:10:08,880 # These streets will make you feel brand new # 217 00:10:08,948 --> 00:10:12,450 - # Brand new # - # Big lights will inspire you # 218 00:10:12,518 --> 00:10:14,919 # Let's hear it for New York # 219 00:10:14,987 --> 00:10:19,557 # New York, New York # # New York, New York # 220 00:10:19,625 --> 00:10:22,260 # Bah bah bah bah bah # 221 00:10:22,328 --> 00:10:24,228 # Bah bah bah. # 222 00:10:24,296 --> 00:10:27,432 [students murmuring] 223 00:10:29,668 --> 00:10:31,569 [school bell ringing] 224 00:10:31,637 --> 00:10:33,404 Hey, Sue. Can I talk to you for a second? 225 00:10:33,472 --> 00:10:35,173 Sure, buddy. You look steamed. 226 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,208 Those kids went out and really tried to show 227 00:10:37,276 --> 00:10:39,777 what Glee Club was all about. And how does the school repay them? 228 00:10:39,845 --> 00:10:43,815 By defacing the sign-up sheet. "Buttface McBallnuts." 229 00:10:43,882 --> 00:10:46,117 "Ass-braham Lin-colon." They're not even funny! 230 00:10:46,185 --> 00:10:48,419 Now, don't be rude, William. I put a lot of thought into those. 231 00:10:51,119 --> 00:10:53,791 Consider this a wakeup call. You're worried about getting new recruits? 232 00:10:53,859 --> 00:10:56,494 Well, if Beiste get her way and our budgets are slashed, 233 00:10:56,562 --> 00:11:00,865 you'll be cutting kids left and right. [sighs] 234 00:11:00,933 --> 00:11:03,568 You're right. I hadn't thought about that. 235 00:11:03,636 --> 00:11:08,805 Beiste needs to be stopped, and I need your help to topple her. 236 00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:15,797 - You in? - I'm in. 237 00:11:19,758 --> 00:11:21,325 I was really excited 238 00:11:21,393 --> 00:11:23,027 about my Glee Club recruit poster design. 239 00:11:23,094 --> 00:11:25,429 I made it super masculine, just like these pamphlets I saw 240 00:11:25,497 --> 00:11:28,032 some Army guys passing out at a daycare center. 241 00:11:28,496 --> 00:11:30,626 Then, I heard something... 242 00:11:30,802 --> 00:11:33,737 STUDENT: # We both lie silent and still in the dead of the night # 243 00:11:34,464 --> 00:11:37,374 ♪ Although we lie close together ♪ 244 00:11:37,442 --> 00:11:40,010 # I feel like we're miles apart... # It was this new transfer kid. 245 00:11:40,078 --> 00:11:42,413 I saw him tapping his foot when we busted it out 246 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,782 in the courtyard the day before... 247 00:11:44,849 --> 00:11:49,186 ♪ Every rose has its thorn ♪ 248 00:11:49,254 --> 00:11:54,925 ♪ Just like every night has its dawn ♪ 249 00:11:54,993 --> 00:11:57,494 I would've joined in with a kick-ass harmony, 250 00:11:57,562 --> 00:11:59,029 but the dude was naked. 251 00:11:59,097 --> 00:12:02,533 ♪ Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song... ♪ 252 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,301 [school bell rings] 253 00:12:09,307 --> 00:12:11,241 [pop music playing through earbuds] 254 00:12:15,052 --> 00:12:17,748 Oh, hello! I couldn't help but notice you admiring me 255 00:12:17,816 --> 00:12:19,149 - yesterday in the courtyard. - Um, what? 256 00:12:19,747 --> 00:12:23,207 Oh, you don't speak English. [loudly]: You like me sing! 257 00:12:23,391 --> 00:12:27,858 - You like me sing very much! - Um, I totally speak English. 258 00:12:27,926 --> 00:12:30,761 I even did a little research on you. You're a foreign exchange student 259 00:12:30,829 --> 00:12:33,063 named Sunshine Corazon because you're from 260 00:12:33,131 --> 00:12:34,665 the Philippines, where it's sunny every day. 261 00:12:34,733 --> 00:12:36,734 - Except for the monsoons. - Listen, Sunshine, 262 00:12:36,801 --> 00:12:38,068 we need chorus members; 263 00:12:38,446 --> 00:12:40,070 people to stand behind me and stare at me 264 00:12:40,138 --> 00:12:41,772 with wet, moved eyes while I sing solos. 265 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:46,276 [loudly]: So I encourage you to audition for Glee Club! 266 00:12:46,344 --> 00:12:51,181 Glee Club is fun! Swaying in background can be fun! 267 00:12:51,249 --> 00:12:52,483 Thank you. Okay. 268 00:12:55,887 --> 00:12:59,690 # Hello, hello, baby, you called, I can't hear a thing # 269 00:12:59,758 --> 00:13:03,260 # I have got no service in the club, you say, say? # 270 00:13:03,328 --> 00:13:07,765 # Wha-wha-what did you say? Oh, you're breaking up on me # 271 00:13:07,832 --> 00:13:11,168 # Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy # 272 00:13:11,236 --> 00:13:13,170 # K-kinda busy # 273 00:13:13,238 --> 00:13:15,773 # K-kinda busy # 274 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,743 BOTH: # Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy # 275 00:13:19,811 --> 00:13:21,745 # Just a second, it's my favorite song 276 00:13:21,813 --> 00:13:23,213 # They're gonna play # 277 00:13:23,281 --> 00:13:27,017 # And I cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh? # 278 00:13:27,085 --> 00:13:29,086 # You shoulda made some plans with me # 279 00:13:29,154 --> 00:13:31,355 # You knew that I was free # 280 00:13:31,423 --> 00:13:35,325 # And now you won't stop calling me, I'm kinda busy # 281 00:13:35,393 --> 00:13:39,863 # Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna think anymore! # 282 00:13:39,931 --> 00:13:43,200 # I left my head and my heart on the dance floor # 283 00:13:43,268 --> 00:13:47,971 # Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna talk anymore! # 284 00:13:48,039 --> 00:13:51,375 # I left my head and my heart on the dance floor # 285 00:13:53,478 --> 00:13:55,546 # Stop telephoning me! # 286 00:13:55,613 --> 00:13:58,082 # Stop telephoning me # 287 00:13:58,149 --> 00:14:00,017 # I'm being... # [music stops] 288 00:14:00,085 --> 00:14:01,952 Shut up! 289 00:14:06,324 --> 00:14:08,926 That was fun. I'd love to join your club. 290 00:14:08,993 --> 00:14:12,896 - When are auditions? - Let me get back to you on that one. 291 00:14:12,964 --> 00:14:16,233 - Don't tell anyone about this, okay? - Okay. 292 00:14:20,605 --> 00:14:23,006 We're trying to recruit new members for Glee Club. 293 00:14:24,609 --> 00:14:26,477 The Panther isn't cool with anything 294 00:14:26,544 --> 00:14:30,180 except doing exactly what she says without question. 295 00:14:30,248 --> 00:14:31,682 That's how you win. 296 00:14:31,749 --> 00:14:34,785 Now, first things first. You're all cut. 297 00:14:34,853 --> 00:14:38,455 Everyone starts fresh with me. Tryouts start... 298 00:14:38,523 --> 00:14:43,327 - right now. Any questions? - I got 25 299 00:14:43,394 --> 00:14:46,463 everything pies for a Coach... Beiste? 300 00:14:46,531 --> 00:14:49,933 - I didn't order any pizzas. - [quiet laughing] 301 00:14:50,001 --> 00:14:55,237 [guys snickering] [snickering continues] 302 00:14:57,272 --> 00:15:01,594 - [clears throat quietly] - [laughing]: Isn't this kind of immature? 303 00:15:01,629 --> 00:15:04,748 No, it's downright childish. But I know gals like Beiste. 304 00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:07,484 Oh, her high school life must have been miserable. 305 00:15:07,552 --> 00:15:12,356 She's oversized, humorless, refers to herself in the third person as an animal. 306 00:15:12,423 --> 00:15:15,759 [laughing] This kind of abuse and teasing 307 00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:18,162 will bring back all those childhood memories. 308 00:15:18,229 --> 00:15:21,465 She'll be shaken to her core. Humiliated and devastated. 309 00:15:21,533 --> 00:15:24,201 She'll have no choice but to quit her job, 310 00:15:24,269 --> 00:15:27,704 - and our budgets will be restored. - [quietly]: Yes! 311 00:15:27,772 --> 00:15:29,306 The boss says, uh, 312 00:15:29,374 --> 00:15:32,142 if you don't pay for 'em, I have to. 313 00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:35,445 Which means we have to reuse my kid's Pampers. 314 00:15:35,513 --> 00:15:37,881 For another week. 315 00:15:45,590 --> 00:15:49,493 Hand 'em out, Wayne Newton. All right, guys, it's a pizza party. 316 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:53,163 Dig in. Everybody has to eat at least four slices. 317 00:15:53,231 --> 00:15:55,332 Let's go! And when you're done, 318 00:15:55,664 --> 00:15:57,968 full pads out on the field. We're doing wind sprints. 319 00:15:58,036 --> 00:16:02,239 And the first ten to puke are off the team. 320 00:16:08,246 --> 00:16:11,281 Hey, guys, um, there's pizza in there, if you want some. 321 00:16:11,349 --> 00:16:12,216 - Thank you. - Thank you. 322 00:16:15,053 --> 00:16:16,220 [bell rings] 323 00:16:16,287 --> 00:16:18,188 I figured that if Kurt's gay and he can do it, 324 00:16:18,256 --> 00:16:21,425 - then why can't I? - Being gay isn't a handicap, Artie. 325 00:16:21,492 --> 00:16:23,460 How can you play football in a wheelchair, anyway? 326 00:16:23,528 --> 00:16:25,829 I have to get on that team, Finn. 327 00:16:26,998 --> 00:16:30,434 - Dude, what's this about? - Tina. 328 00:16:30,501 --> 00:16:32,669 She dumped me for Mike Chang. 329 00:16:33,307 --> 00:16:37,207 They fell in love over the summer at... Asian Camp. 330 00:16:37,275 --> 00:16:39,376 They were counselors, in charge of teaching 331 00:16:39,444 --> 00:16:42,346 all those tech-savvy Asian kids about the arts. 332 00:16:42,413 --> 00:16:46,650 # Getting to know all about you # 333 00:16:46,718 --> 00:16:49,920 # Getting to like you... # 334 00:16:52,557 --> 00:16:53,790 [click] 335 00:16:53,858 --> 00:16:54,891 [school bell rings] 336 00:16:54,959 --> 00:16:58,128 So, what did Tina say when she broke up with you? 337 00:16:58,196 --> 00:17:00,364 I think you're great, Artie, but you're a terrible boyfriend. 338 00:17:00,431 --> 00:17:01,832 You ignored me for weeks this summer. 339 00:17:01,899 --> 00:17:03,867 I was playing a marathon round of Halo, woman. 340 00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,469 And then when we did get together, 341 00:17:05,536 --> 00:17:08,605 all you wanted to do was watch Coming Home over and over. 342 00:17:08,673 --> 00:17:13,176 Mike tries to be into what I'm into. Like his abs. 343 00:17:15,647 --> 00:17:19,583 Dude, I'm sympathetic for you, I just don't see you on the football team. 344 00:17:19,651 --> 00:17:21,485 Imagine you were pushing me in this big hunk of metal 345 00:17:21,552 --> 00:17:22,886 down the field at full speed. 346 00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:24,521 The centrifugal force would be too much to stop. 347 00:17:24,589 --> 00:17:27,057 I'd be like a medieval battering ram. 348 00:17:28,526 --> 00:17:31,795 Dude, you'd be like a human cannonball. That would be awesome! 349 00:17:31,863 --> 00:17:33,697 So you'll help? 350 00:17:34,932 --> 00:17:39,369 Sure. But you got to help me first. Hey, Sam. 351 00:17:39,437 --> 00:17:42,105 My name's Finn. This here is Artie. 352 00:17:42,173 --> 00:17:45,309 Yeah, I know who you are. You're the... the quarterback. 353 00:17:45,376 --> 00:17:47,311 Exactly, Which makes me very cool. 354 00:17:47,378 --> 00:17:49,346 And we'd like to talk to you about Glee Club. 355 00:17:50,715 --> 00:17:54,151 - So, Sam, tell us about yourself. - My name's Sam Evans. 356 00:17:54,218 --> 00:17:57,054 I like comic books, sports. 357 00:17:57,121 --> 00:17:59,456 I'm dyslexic, so my grades aren't that good, but... 358 00:17:59,524 --> 00:18:02,125 - I'm working on it. - Dude, your mouth is huge. 359 00:18:02,193 --> 00:18:04,161 How many tennis balls can you fit in there? 360 00:18:04,228 --> 00:18:06,963 I don't... know. I've never had any balls in my mouth. 361 00:18:07,031 --> 00:18:12,536 - Have you? - I like this kid. 362 00:18:12,603 --> 00:18:15,572 I like his confidence, but the Bieber cut's gotta go. 363 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:16,773 FINN: Mm-hmm. 364 00:18:16,841 --> 00:18:19,743 - So, can you sing with that big mouth? - I've never really sung 365 00:18:19,811 --> 00:18:21,411 in front of anybody before. 366 00:18:21,479 --> 00:18:24,648 Dude, let me tell you, chicks dig singers. 367 00:18:24,716 --> 00:18:27,617 Well, give it a shot. We'll back you up, I promise. 368 00:18:27,685 --> 00:18:29,319 What song you got in your back pocket? 369 00:18:29,387 --> 00:18:31,588 Um... "Billionaire"? 370 00:18:31,656 --> 00:18:33,490 [snaps fingers] [# Billionaire] 371 00:18:36,127 --> 00:18:38,428 # I wanna be a billionaire # 372 00:18:38,496 --> 00:18:41,465 # So freakin' bad # 373 00:18:41,532 --> 00:18:45,268 # Buy all of the things I never had # 374 00:18:47,171 --> 00:18:52,576 # I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine # 375 00:18:52,643 --> 00:18:56,980 # Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen # 376 00:18:57,048 --> 00:19:00,083 # Oh, every time I close # 377 00:19:00,151 --> 00:19:01,952 # My eyes # 378 00:19:03,621 --> 00:19:08,058 # I see my name in shining lights # 379 00:19:08,126 --> 00:19:09,426 # Yeah # 380 00:19:09,494 --> 00:19:11,928 # A different city every night # 381 00:19:11,996 --> 00:19:13,897 # Oh, I # 382 00:19:13,965 --> 00:19:17,634 # I swear # # The world better prepare # 383 00:19:17,702 --> 00:19:21,705 # For when I'm a billionaire # 384 00:19:21,773 --> 00:19:24,307 # Yeah, I would have a show like Oprah # 385 00:19:24,375 --> 00:19:25,542 # I would be the host of # 386 00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:26,877 # Every day Christmas # 387 00:19:26,944 --> 00:19:28,412 # Give Artie a wish list # 388 00:19:28,479 --> 00:19:30,881 # I'll probably pull a Angelina and Brad Pitt # 389 00:19:30,948 --> 00:19:33,750 # And adopt a bunch of babies that ain't never had it # 390 00:19:33,818 --> 00:19:36,219 # Give away a few Mercedes like, "Here, lady, have this" # 391 00:19:36,287 --> 00:19:39,623 # And last but not least, grant somebody their last wish # 392 00:19:39,690 --> 00:19:42,192 # It's been a couple months that I been single, so # 393 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:44,761 # You can call me Artie Claus, minus the ho-ho # 394 00:19:44,829 --> 00:19:48,231 # Ha-ha! Get it? I'll probably visit where Katrina hit # 395 00:19:48,299 --> 00:19:50,934 # And darn sure do a lot more than FEMA did # 396 00:19:51,002 --> 00:19:53,236 # Yeah, can't forget about me, stupid # 397 00:19:53,304 --> 00:19:56,106 # Everywhere I go, I'm-a have my own theme music # 398 00:19:56,174 --> 00:19:59,443 # Oh, every time I close my eyes # 399 00:19:59,510 --> 00:20:01,611 # Uh, what you see, what you see, bruh? # 400 00:20:01,679 --> 00:20:05,582 # I see my name in shining lights # 401 00:20:05,650 --> 00:20:07,584 - # Uh-huh, And what else? # - # Oh, yeah # 402 00:20:07,652 --> 00:20:09,820 # A different city every night # 403 00:20:09,887 --> 00:20:14,090 - # Oh, I, I swear # - # Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah # 404 00:20:14,158 --> 00:20:15,992 - # World better prepare # - # For what? # 405 00:20:16,060 --> 00:20:18,528 # For when I'm a billionaire # 406 00:20:18,596 --> 00:20:20,897 # Oh, oh, oh, oh # 407 00:20:20,965 --> 00:20:22,032 ARTIE: # Oh! # 408 00:20:22,099 --> 00:20:24,768 # When I'm a billionaire # 409 00:20:24,836 --> 00:20:26,636 # Oh, oh, oh, oh # 410 00:20:26,704 --> 00:20:29,206 - # Sing it! # - # When I'm a billionaire # 411 00:20:29,273 --> 00:20:32,008 # Oh, oh, oh, oh # 412 00:20:32,076 --> 00:20:33,043 # Oh! # 413 00:20:35,213 --> 00:20:37,547 # I wanna be a billionaire # 414 00:20:37,615 --> 00:20:41,485 # So freakin' bad. # 415 00:20:41,552 --> 00:20:42,385 [song ends] 416 00:20:44,255 --> 00:20:45,789 [laughs] That-that was really cool! 417 00:20:45,857 --> 00:20:49,359 Nice. So you think you can come back and do that in front of everybody? 418 00:20:49,427 --> 00:20:50,560 Sure. 419 00:20:57,665 --> 00:21:01,301 - So, is that a men's sweater? - Fashion has no gender. 420 00:21:01,369 --> 00:21:05,305 Ladies, we have a problem. There's a new student at this school 421 00:21:05,373 --> 00:21:08,141 named Sunshine who is a Filipino and is shorter than me. 422 00:21:08,209 --> 00:21:10,143 Which I didn't think was possible and is very unnerving. 423 00:21:10,211 --> 00:21:11,745 Okay, so I'm gonna go now. 424 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:14,047 Wait! And... 425 00:21:14,115 --> 00:21:17,784 - she has a remarkable voice. - [sighs] 426 00:21:17,852 --> 00:21:20,454 I'm just... I'm very worried. 427 00:21:20,521 --> 00:21:22,022 You know, not-not for myself, 428 00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:25,158 but for my lesser Glee Clubbers who don't get as many solos. 429 00:21:25,226 --> 00:21:28,261 So I've paid a hundred dollars to Azimio and Karofsky 430 00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:30,130 to brutally slushie us in front of Sunshine's locker, 431 00:21:30,198 --> 00:21:32,199 terrifying her and ensuring she doesn't sign up. 432 00:21:33,948 --> 00:21:34,968 So this is the part where you're supposed to be 433 00:21:35,036 --> 00:21:38,171 - hugging me and thanking me. - That's awful. You're awful. 434 00:21:38,239 --> 00:21:39,539 But solos! I mean... 435 00:21:39,607 --> 00:21:41,808 Look, Rachel, Mercedes and I are about as self-involved 436 00:21:41,876 --> 00:21:45,379 as they come, but more than anything, we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline. 437 00:21:45,446 --> 00:21:47,981 And if there's someone at the school that can help us do that, 438 00:21:48,049 --> 00:21:48,682 they're in. 439 00:21:50,918 --> 00:21:55,789 You know what? You're right. 440 00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:58,892 It's just... so like me to just be 441 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,862 totally blinded by my concern for the two of you. 442 00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:04,831 I'll-I'll-I'll go talk to Sunshine now 443 00:22:04,899 --> 00:22:08,669 and just let her know how truly welcome she really is. 444 00:22:08,736 --> 00:22:10,303 Thanks. 445 00:22:11,839 --> 00:22:13,674 [school bell ringing] 446 00:22:18,259 --> 00:22:21,248 Hi. So, here's the address for the audition tomorrow 447 00:22:21,315 --> 00:22:22,516 and helpful directions. 448 00:22:22,583 --> 00:22:25,819 - Look forward to seeing you there. - Thanks. 449 00:22:32,326 --> 00:22:37,225 Beiste is on the move. Operation Mean Girl is a go. 450 00:22:38,499 --> 00:22:40,467 Move. Go! Disperse. 451 00:22:40,535 --> 00:22:42,669 Leave the Danish. 452 00:22:48,076 --> 00:22:49,609 - Anyone sitting here? - Yes. 453 00:22:49,677 --> 00:22:52,245 These seats are currently being occupied by my ghost friends. 454 00:22:52,313 --> 00:22:55,849 - I beg your pardon? - My ghost friends. 455 00:22:55,917 --> 00:22:58,618 Hideous, lonely faculty members who met with an early death 456 00:22:58,686 --> 00:23:00,787 from good old-fashioned schoolyard bullying. 457 00:23:00,855 --> 00:23:03,857 And you know why? They tried to cross me. 458 00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:05,292 So why don't you just keep on walking? 459 00:23:11,365 --> 00:23:14,234 Hi, Will. You... you mind if I sit here? 460 00:23:15,574 --> 00:23:17,571 Sorry. Taken. 461 00:23:17,638 --> 00:23:22,831 - How about there? - Actually, they're all sort of taken. 462 00:23:23,411 --> 00:23:26,113 I am, uh, meeting with some... 463 00:23:26,180 --> 00:23:31,985 some science teachers. You think it's easy being a female football coach, being different? 464 00:23:32,053 --> 00:23:34,488 You think I don't get this everywhere I go? 465 00:23:34,555 --> 00:23:38,458 Everybody told me that Sue was the school bully and, uh... 466 00:23:38,526 --> 00:23:40,560 that you were really cool. 467 00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,462 I see they got that last part wrong, huh? 468 00:23:47,568 --> 00:23:50,670 - [clicking tongue] - [sighs] 469 00:23:50,738 --> 00:23:52,839 [school bell ringing] 470 00:24:00,248 --> 00:24:02,149 [heavy sigh] 471 00:24:02,216 --> 00:24:04,451 So you know why Helen Keller couldn't drive, right? 472 00:24:04,519 --> 00:24:08,188 - Why? - 'Cause she was a woman. 473 00:24:08,256 --> 00:24:11,391 - [sniffles] - Coach Beiste? 474 00:24:11,459 --> 00:24:12,659 [sniffles] 475 00:24:12,727 --> 00:24:17,097 - Are you crying? - Yeah. 476 00:24:17,165 --> 00:24:21,245 Saw your stats from last season, and it really hurt my feelings. 477 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:22,446 [chuckles] 478 00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:30,510 Hey, Coach, uh, this is Artie. He'd like to try out for the team. 479 00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:35,148 - You screwing with me? - No, no. Absolutely not. 480 00:24:35,216 --> 00:24:37,083 Uh, see we figured that 481 00:24:37,151 --> 00:24:39,686 if I push him down the field fast enough, the centrifugal... 482 00:24:39,754 --> 00:24:41,988 - Centrifugal. Centrifugal force. - You're out. 483 00:24:42,056 --> 00:24:44,124 Wait. What?! 484 00:24:44,192 --> 00:24:46,226 You're off the team, cut, out! 485 00:24:46,294 --> 00:24:49,596 You come in here, pushing a kid in a wheelchair, 486 00:24:49,664 --> 00:24:53,166 making me look like some kind of monster because I have to tell him he can't play? 487 00:24:53,234 --> 00:24:55,068 No. No, that's not 488 00:24:55,136 --> 00:24:56,970 - what was going on here. Artie? - I really want to play. 489 00:24:57,038 --> 00:24:59,840 I want my girlfriend back, and I want abs. 490 00:24:59,907 --> 00:25:01,341 [muffled laughter] 491 00:25:01,409 --> 00:25:02,375 FINN: Yeah, he's like 492 00:25:02,443 --> 00:25:05,045 - a human battering ram, like, like, Braveheart. [Coach] You know what? 493 00:25:05,112 --> 00:25:07,280 I don't like being screwed with! 494 00:25:07,348 --> 00:25:09,449 - Do you understand me? - Dude, you're totally overreacting. 495 00:25:09,517 --> 00:25:11,084 "Dude"? 496 00:25:11,152 --> 00:25:15,989 Get the hell out of my locker room! Go! 497 00:25:17,892 --> 00:25:22,162 Think this is some joke? Go! 498 00:25:28,669 --> 00:25:30,503 [school bell ringing] 499 00:25:33,474 --> 00:25:35,008 SUE: Next! 500 00:25:38,613 --> 00:25:42,082 - No way. Get out. - Coach Sylvester, please hear me out. 501 00:25:42,150 --> 00:25:45,051 Nope. I trusted you, and you let me down. 502 00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:46,820 I don't want you anywhere near my squad. 503 00:25:46,888 --> 00:25:50,357 You'll deafen them with the sound of your stretch marks rubbing together. 504 00:25:50,424 --> 00:25:52,392 I understand you had your confetti cannons taken away. 505 00:25:52,460 --> 00:25:55,128 Well, I'll bet there are quite a few church groups 506 00:25:55,196 --> 00:25:57,764 who would gladly give money to a squad who helped rehabilitate 507 00:25:57,832 --> 00:25:59,199 a girl who got pregnant 508 00:25:59,267 --> 00:26:00,927 and now speaks out for abstinence education 509 00:26:00,928 --> 00:26:02,502 while wearing a 'Cheerios!' uniform. 510 00:26:04,433 --> 00:26:06,402 Next! 511 00:26:09,710 --> 00:26:14,147 - Oh, my gosh, Coach. - Wait. You're serious? Finn? 512 00:26:14,215 --> 00:26:18,018 - My eyes are still burning. - I'm Finn Hudson, 513 00:26:18,085 --> 00:26:20,687 and I'd like to audition for the Cheerios! 514 00:26:23,191 --> 00:26:24,991 # I've got the power # 515 00:26:25,059 --> 00:26:26,526 # Power # 516 00:26:31,599 --> 00:26:33,533 # I've got the power # 517 00:26:33,601 --> 00:26:35,435 # Power # 518 00:26:36,404 --> 00:26:39,005 Am I dreaming? - # I've got the power... # 519 00:26:39,073 --> 00:26:42,042 - Is this happening? - But... why? 520 00:26:45,580 --> 00:26:47,480 Coach Beiste kicked me off the football team. 521 00:26:48,831 --> 00:26:52,252 I'm not the quarterback anymore, which... means I'm nothing. 522 00:26:53,721 --> 00:26:57,757 - I miss being popular. - This is really embarrassing. 523 00:26:57,825 --> 00:27:02,696 I have really great leadership skills, and, uh, I'm athletic, 524 00:27:02,763 --> 00:27:04,631 so I could help with the lifts and stuff. 525 00:27:07,001 --> 00:27:09,469 I hope you'll consider me. 526 00:27:10,537 --> 00:27:12,138 WILL: Why would he get kicked off the football team? 527 00:27:12,206 --> 00:27:15,408 Finn was just trying to help out his handicapable friend! 528 00:27:15,476 --> 00:27:16,977 He was insubordinate twice. 529 00:27:17,044 --> 00:27:21,442 I'm the captain of the USS Kick Ass, not the USS Back Talk. 530 00:27:22,083 --> 00:27:25,118 Please, Coach, don't do this to me. I need football. It's who I am. 531 00:27:25,186 --> 00:27:27,888 I thought you were the Glee guy. I mean, what with all 532 00:27:27,955 --> 00:27:30,832 - the sign-up sheets you put in my locker room.[Will] Finn is a really good kid. 533 00:27:31,056 --> 00:27:32,425 Give him a chance to show you. 534 00:27:32,493 --> 00:27:34,895 You mean don't make a snap judgment about him? 535 00:27:35,191 --> 00:27:38,832 Don't make his life miserable because I assume he's a certain way? 536 00:27:39,512 --> 00:27:42,335 Okay, I get it. This is about me. 537 00:27:42,403 --> 00:27:43,803 I haven't been very welcoming, 538 00:27:43,871 --> 00:27:46,573 but please, please, don't take this out on Finn. 539 00:27:46,641 --> 00:27:48,041 Am I through here, Principal Figgins? 540 00:27:48,109 --> 00:27:56,316 Mm-hmm. - [School bell ringing] 541 00:27:56,384 --> 00:27:59,085 A little bird told me that someone spent her summer vacation 542 00:27:59,153 --> 00:28:00,854 getting a brand-new set of melons, 543 00:28:00,922 --> 00:28:02,722 even though you know I have a very strict 544 00:28:02,790 --> 00:28:04,958 no plastics policy in 'Cheerios!'. 545 00:28:05,497 --> 00:28:08,962 - [sighs] Care to comment? - I just... 546 00:28:09,030 --> 00:28:11,831 What would possess a person your age to get a boob job? 547 00:28:12,810 --> 00:28:14,534 You don't even know what your body's going to look like. 548 00:28:14,602 --> 00:28:17,704 It's an insult to nature and completely distracting. 549 00:28:18,410 --> 00:28:21,241 I can't take my eyes off them. I'm actually talking to them 550 00:28:21,309 --> 00:28:23,977 - right now. - I wanted people to notice me more. 551 00:28:24,045 --> 00:28:27,447 - I don't get what the big deal is. - Well, the big deal is that a person 552 00:28:27,515 --> 00:28:28,925 who has to pump her nonnies full of gravy 553 00:28:28,926 --> 00:28:31,284 to feel good about herself clearly doesn't have 554 00:28:31,352 --> 00:28:33,048 the self-esteem to be my head cheerleader. 555 00:28:34,655 --> 00:28:37,991 - Quinn will replace you. - What did...? [stammers] 556 00:28:38,059 --> 00:28:42,329 And Boobs McGee? You're demoted to the bottom of the pyramid, 557 00:28:42,396 --> 00:28:44,864 so when it collapses, your exploding 558 00:28:44,932 --> 00:28:47,815 sandbags will protect the squad from injury. 559 00:28:49,849 --> 00:28:53,173 Now take your juicy, vine-ripened chest fruit 560 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:54,808 and get the hell out of my office. 561 00:29:20,968 --> 00:29:24,604 [grunts] You did this to me. 562 00:29:24,672 --> 00:29:26,673 You told Coach Sylvester about my summer surgery! 563 00:29:26,741 --> 00:29:28,708 You have a surgery when you get your appendix out. 564 00:29:28,776 --> 00:29:30,844 - You got a boob job. - Yup, sure did. 565 00:29:30,911 --> 00:29:32,512 You can't hit me. 566 00:29:32,580 --> 00:29:36,340 Oh, sure I can, unless you got yourself knocked up again, slut. 567 00:29:37,118 --> 00:29:41,221 - Stop the violence. - [grunting] 568 00:29:41,722 --> 00:29:43,356 Hey, hey, what is this?! 569 00:29:43,424 --> 00:29:45,225 Stop it. What happened to us being a family? Hey. 570 00:29:45,292 --> 00:29:47,494 Oh, please. Stop that. She has a family. She's a mother. 571 00:29:47,561 --> 00:29:48,862 Walk away. Hey! 572 00:29:48,929 --> 00:29:51,197 And tighten up your pony before you get to class! 573 00:30:03,984 --> 00:30:08,320 - [click] - Well, hate to break it to you, 574 00:30:08,388 --> 00:30:09,789 but it doesn't look like anyone's gonna be joining us, 575 00:30:09,856 --> 00:30:11,290 so I think we should just call it a day. 576 00:30:11,358 --> 00:30:12,958 We said 3:00 to 5:00. It's only 4:58. 577 00:30:13,270 --> 00:30:15,094 [Finn] Just wait. My buddy Sam's gonna try out. 578 00:30:15,162 --> 00:30:17,363 - He totally idolizes me. - Oh, face it, Finn. 579 00:30:17,431 --> 00:30:20,032 You're no longer the quarterback. You're not the Pied Piper anymore. 580 00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:23,035 No one's gonna follow you around thinking everything you do is cool. 581 00:30:23,103 --> 00:30:26,439 What about that Sunshine girl? I thought you said she could sing. 582 00:30:26,506 --> 00:30:28,874 I guess she didn't want to hang out with us losers. 583 00:30:32,145 --> 00:30:33,579 [school bell ringing] 584 00:30:33,647 --> 00:30:38,083 [Figgins] Show us on the doll where Coach Beiste touched you. 585 00:30:39,853 --> 00:30:44,757 - Here and here. - This is outrageous. 586 00:30:44,825 --> 00:30:47,426 I'll say. Anyone who would prey on someone 587 00:30:47,494 --> 00:30:49,361 as sweet and simple as poor, poor Brittany 588 00:30:49,429 --> 00:30:50,896 deserves everything that's coming to her. 589 00:30:50,964 --> 00:30:54,233 I suggest immediate termination and entry into the statewide 590 00:30:54,301 --> 00:30:57,636 - sex offender database. - Sorry I'm late. 591 00:30:57,704 --> 00:31:01,474 - What's going on? - Brittany here has accused Coach Beiste 592 00:31:01,541 --> 00:31:04,109 of inappropriate touching. 593 00:31:04,177 --> 00:31:06,290 What?! Brittany, that's 594 00:31:06,291 --> 00:31:09,500 - a serious accusation. - It's very serious. 595 00:31:13,987 --> 00:31:17,656 Brittany, what you're saying could ruin somebody's life. 596 00:31:17,724 --> 00:31:20,637 It's really important that you tell the truth here. 597 00:31:22,710 --> 00:31:26,265 I made it up. Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. 598 00:31:26,333 --> 00:31:29,468 [sighs] Actually, I really want to touch her boobs. 599 00:31:30,337 --> 00:31:31,737 [Beiste] If you're all done 600 00:31:31,805 --> 00:31:34,306 wasting my time, I have a football team to coach. 601 00:31:34,374 --> 00:31:37,209 [Will] Coach... - [school bell ringing] 602 00:31:41,890 --> 00:31:42,915 You're weak, Will! 603 00:31:42,983 --> 00:31:44,350 - You know what, Sue? - Mr. Shue? 604 00:31:44,417 --> 00:31:47,453 Can we talk to you? It's kind of important. 605 00:31:48,922 --> 00:31:50,789 [Sue grumbles] 606 00:31:53,093 --> 00:31:55,361 [school bell ringing] 607 00:31:55,428 --> 00:31:58,097 - Tell me this isn't true, Rachel. - She could have died. 608 00:31:58,164 --> 00:32:01,033 I didn't send her to an active crack house. 609 00:32:01,101 --> 00:32:02,801 Besides, how did you guys find out anyways? 610 00:32:02,869 --> 00:32:05,371 - The Asian community is very tight. - I just don't get it. 611 00:32:05,438 --> 00:32:07,873 - You're better than this. - No, she's an ambitious little freak 612 00:32:07,941 --> 00:32:09,408 who will do anything to hold on to her power. 613 00:32:09,476 --> 00:32:12,411 I just... I... I love you guys so much. 614 00:32:13,513 --> 00:32:15,881 I was wrong before. I don't want any 615 00:32:15,949 --> 00:32:19,752 new members. I didn't want anyone coming in 616 00:32:19,819 --> 00:32:21,921 a... And messing up our group dynamic. 617 00:32:21,988 --> 00:32:25,157 Tina, Mike, I mean, what if Sunshine can dance? 618 00:32:25,225 --> 00:32:27,726 Then your contributions to Glee will be even more insignificant 619 00:32:27,794 --> 00:32:31,096 than they already are now. I did this for you guys. 620 00:32:33,533 --> 00:32:38,773 Whatever your motivations, you need to make this right, Rachel. 621 00:32:38,939 --> 00:32:41,073 [school bell ringing] 622 00:32:41,141 --> 00:32:43,008 [crowd chatter] 623 00:32:45,045 --> 00:32:47,680 I'm sorry for sending you to that crack house. 624 00:32:47,747 --> 00:32:50,983 They stole my sheet music and used it for toilet paper. 625 00:32:51,051 --> 00:32:55,087 Look, I'll buy you a new set. You can just, um, come pick it up 626 00:32:55,155 --> 00:32:56,922 at the auditorium at 4:00 tomorrow. 627 00:33:04,898 --> 00:33:07,733 Hi, I'm Sunshine Corazon, and I'll be singing "Listen" 628 00:33:07,801 --> 00:33:09,435 from the movie "Dreamgirls". 629 00:33:09,502 --> 00:33:12,771 - Broadway show first. - Shh... Shut up. 630 00:33:15,275 --> 00:33:19,044 # Listen # 631 00:33:19,112 --> 00:33:22,548 # To the song here in my heart # 632 00:33:22,616 --> 00:33:26,485 # A melody I start # 633 00:33:26,553 --> 00:33:30,923 # But can't complete # 634 00:33:30,991 --> 00:33:33,926 # Listen # 635 00:33:33,994 --> 00:33:38,263 # To the sound from deep within # 636 00:33:38,331 --> 00:33:41,300 # It's only beginning # 637 00:33:41,368 --> 00:33:45,471 # To find release # 638 00:33:45,538 --> 00:33:48,407 # Oh, the time has come # 639 00:33:48,475 --> 00:33:51,010 # For my dreams to be heard # 640 00:33:51,077 --> 00:33:54,913 # They will not be pushed aside and turned # 641 00:33:54,981 --> 00:33:56,615 # Into your own # 642 00:33:56,683 --> 00:34:02,187 # All 'cause you won't listen # 643 00:34:02,255 --> 00:34:04,423 # Listen # 644 00:34:04,491 --> 00:34:08,293 # I am alone at the crossroads # 645 00:34:08,361 --> 00:34:11,497 # I'm not at home in my own home # 646 00:34:11,564 --> 00:34:13,432 # And I've tried and tried # 647 00:34:13,500 --> 00:34:15,701 # To say what's on my mind # 648 00:34:15,769 --> 00:34:17,970 # You should have known # 649 00:34:18,038 --> 00:34:23,509 # Oh, now I'm done believin' you # 650 00:34:23,576 --> 00:34:26,178 [cheering] # You don't know what I'm feelin' # 651 00:34:26,246 --> 00:34:29,081 # I'm more than what you made of me # 652 00:34:29,149 --> 00:34:33,686 # I followed the voice you gave to me # 653 00:34:33,753 --> 00:34:37,523 # But now I gotta find my own # 654 00:34:37,590 --> 00:34:41,060 # I don't know where I belong # 655 00:34:41,127 --> 00:34:45,497 # But I'll be movin' on # 656 00:34:45,565 --> 00:34:49,968 # If you don't # 657 00:34:50,036 --> 00:34:53,405 # If you won't # 658 00:34:53,473 --> 00:34:56,575 # Listen # 659 00:34:56,643 --> 00:35:00,446 # To the song here in my heart # 660 00:35:00,513 --> 00:35:03,415 # A melody I start # 661 00:35:03,483 --> 00:35:07,753 # But I will complete # 662 00:35:07,821 --> 00:35:10,589 # Oh # 663 00:35:10,657 --> 00:35:13,559 # Now I'm done believin' you # 664 00:35:13,626 --> 00:35:16,562 # You don't know what I'm feelin' # 665 00:35:16,629 --> 00:35:20,199 # I'm more than what you made of me # 666 00:35:20,266 --> 00:35:24,269 # I followed the voice you think you gave to me # 667 00:35:24,337 --> 00:35:28,273 # But now I gotta find # 668 00:35:28,341 --> 00:35:31,510 # My own... # 669 00:35:31,578 --> 00:35:38,383 # My own. # 670 00:35:38,451 --> 00:35:41,587 [applause and cheering] 671 00:35:43,690 --> 00:35:45,624 - Bravo! - Wow. 672 00:35:45,692 --> 00:35:47,793 Um... [laughs] 673 00:35:47,861 --> 00:35:51,363 - Welcome to the Glee Club. - [laughter and cheering] 674 00:35:51,431 --> 00:35:54,466 Thank you. Amazing. Thank you. 675 00:35:58,849 --> 00:36:04,954 Do you mind if I join you? Okay. 676 00:36:08,125 --> 00:36:11,660 Look, I really owe you an apology. 677 00:36:11,728 --> 00:36:14,597 I guess I kicked this year off thinking that all of us 678 00:36:14,664 --> 00:36:16,593 in the Glee Club weren't outcasts anymore, 679 00:36:16,628 --> 00:36:19,165 and I thought we'd be turning kids away. 680 00:36:20,036 --> 00:36:22,838 And then when no one signed up for the club, 681 00:36:22,906 --> 00:36:27,482 I realized that we were still at the bottom... outsiders. 682 00:36:28,512 --> 00:36:30,778 And that's how I made you feel. 683 00:36:32,449 --> 00:36:37,553 - I'm sorry. - Thank you. 684 00:36:37,621 --> 00:36:41,323 - [sniffs] - William, Beiste, 685 00:36:41,391 --> 00:36:43,993 I wanted to make a peace offering with a batch of 686 00:36:44,060 --> 00:36:49,198 - warm, homemade cookies. - Oh, those smell like dog poop. 687 00:36:49,266 --> 00:36:51,133 Are those dog poop cookies? 688 00:36:51,201 --> 00:36:54,036 No, that's the flaxseed oil you're smelling. 689 00:36:54,104 --> 00:36:55,905 These are heart-healthy cookies for some of our 690 00:36:55,972 --> 00:37:00,476 - burlier Americans. - Sue, we're not going to do this anymore. 691 00:37:01,634 --> 00:37:06,258 Are you turning on me in public? 692 00:37:06,716 --> 00:37:09,251 The two of you are making a very serious mistake today, 693 00:37:09,319 --> 00:37:11,854 the likes of which have not been seen since the Mexican Indians 694 00:37:11,922 --> 00:37:16,458 sold Manhattan to George Washington for an upskirt photo of Betsy Ross. 695 00:37:18,228 --> 00:37:19,962 [school bell ringing] 696 00:37:24,267 --> 00:37:28,070 Hey, man, uh, why didn't you show at the audition? 697 00:37:28,138 --> 00:37:33,305 I wanted to, I did, but after what Coach Beiste did to you... 698 00:37:34,177 --> 00:37:36,245 Do you know how everybody talks about you Glee guys? 699 00:37:36,313 --> 00:37:40,490 - Oh, yeah, you get used to all that. - Finn, I'm, I'm the new guy. 700 00:37:40,525 --> 00:37:42,852 That means I'm already on the outside looking in. 701 00:37:42,919 --> 00:37:45,020 I don't want to start off three touchdowns behind. 702 00:37:45,088 --> 00:37:47,690 I got to go. 703 00:37:47,757 --> 00:37:49,425 Coach Beiste makes us do a hundred push-ups 704 00:37:49,492 --> 00:37:54,230 - for every minute we're late, so... - [chuckles] 705 00:37:54,297 --> 00:37:56,699 Yeah, you made the team, that's cool. What position? 706 00:37:56,766 --> 00:37:58,601 Quarterback. 707 00:38:03,006 --> 00:38:04,940 [school bell ringing] 708 00:38:05,008 --> 00:38:07,176 - Excuse me, Sunshine. - Hi, I'd like to officially 709 00:38:07,244 --> 00:38:08,477 welcome you aboard 710 00:38:08,545 --> 00:38:09,979 and give you our Glee Club fall rehearsal schedule. 711 00:38:10,046 --> 00:38:14,550 - She won't be joining your Glee Club. - Oh, are you her dad? 712 00:38:14,618 --> 00:38:17,386 Her director. Dustin Goolsby, 713 00:38:17,454 --> 00:38:20,122 new coach of Vocal Adrenaline. 714 00:38:20,190 --> 00:38:23,487 Oh, and they gave me and my mom a condo and a green card. 715 00:38:24,661 --> 00:38:26,786 How did you even find out about her? [Sue] Hey, Will, 716 00:38:26,789 --> 00:38:27,830 I went ahead and made that phone call. 717 00:38:27,898 --> 00:38:29,598 Should have gone along with the poop cookies. 718 00:38:29,666 --> 00:38:32,034 I actually would have stayed here, but I think 719 00:38:32,102 --> 00:38:34,670 Rachel would have made my life a living hell. 720 00:38:34,705 --> 00:38:37,830 I just didn't trust her after she sent me to a crack house. 721 00:38:37,865 --> 00:38:40,575 Not cool. It was nice to meet you. 722 00:38:41,244 --> 00:38:43,317 [zips backpack] 723 00:38:51,087 --> 00:38:53,555 [school bell ringing] 724 00:39:00,163 --> 00:39:01,764 What did they say? 725 00:39:01,831 --> 00:39:05,367 Well, I talked 'em out of giving you a "code red." 726 00:39:05,435 --> 00:39:08,037 They were pissed, and they had the right to be. 727 00:39:08,104 --> 00:39:09,872 What you did was bad, Rachel. 728 00:39:09,940 --> 00:39:12,074 We could have used Sunshine to beat Vocal Adrenaline, 729 00:39:12,142 --> 00:39:16,512 - and now they're just that much stronger. - Just do it already. [Finn] What? 730 00:39:16,579 --> 00:39:18,147 Break up with me. 731 00:39:18,214 --> 00:39:19,982 Okay, we both knew it was just a matter of time. 732 00:39:20,050 --> 00:39:23,519 I think you're forgetting I'm not the quarterback anymore. 733 00:39:23,586 --> 00:39:26,388 I'm just another Glee loser now. 734 00:39:26,456 --> 00:39:28,876 Fact is, you should be breaking up with me. 735 00:39:32,629 --> 00:39:38,468 - I'll never break up with you. - Me, neither. 736 00:39:47,777 --> 00:39:50,245 I did it for the team, you know. 737 00:39:50,313 --> 00:39:53,215 I just, I-I love everybody so much, 738 00:39:53,283 --> 00:39:55,617 I didn't want anyone else coming in and interfering. 739 00:39:55,685 --> 00:40:00,322 You got to stop saying that, Rachel. I care about you and everything, 740 00:40:00,390 --> 00:40:02,057 but you got to admit the truth. 741 00:40:03,551 --> 00:40:05,424 You didn't do this because you love Glee Club. 742 00:40:05,425 --> 00:40:07,079 You did it because you love yourself more. 743 00:40:08,871 --> 00:40:10,132 Okay. 744 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,711 I didn't want anyone else hogging my spotlight. 745 00:40:12,746 --> 00:40:15,671 Okay, I love it too much to let it go that easy. 746 00:40:19,342 --> 00:40:21,408 Do you think that they'll ever forgive me? 747 00:40:21,443 --> 00:40:22,911 They'll come around. 748 00:40:24,147 --> 00:40:26,815 I think apologizing would be a good start. 749 00:40:32,300 --> 00:40:35,040 - Where are you going? - The auditorium. 750 00:40:35,825 --> 00:40:38,594 I just need some alone time first. 751 00:40:40,830 --> 00:40:45,601 # Kiss today good-bye # 752 00:40:47,637 --> 00:40:52,841 # The sweetness and the sorrow # 753 00:40:54,611 --> 00:40:56,178 # Wish me luck # 754 00:40:56,246 --> 00:41:04,720 # The same to you # 755 00:41:04,788 --> 00:41:08,023 # But I can't regret # 756 00:41:08,091 --> 00:41:11,460 # What I did for love # 757 00:41:11,528 --> 00:41:16,799 # What I did for love # 758 00:41:18,635 --> 00:41:20,969 # Look, my eyes # 759 00:41:21,037 --> 00:41:24,540 # Are dry # 760 00:41:24,607 --> 00:41:27,142 # The gift was ours # 761 00:41:27,210 --> 00:41:31,747 # To borrow # 762 00:41:31,815 --> 00:41:36,385 # Oh, it's as if we always # 763 00:41:36,453 --> 00:41:40,856 # Knew # 764 00:41:40,924 --> 00:41:44,359 # And I won't forget # 765 00:41:44,427 --> 00:41:46,962 # What I did for love # 766 00:41:47,030 --> 00:41:54,336 # What I did for love # 767 00:41:54,404 --> 00:41:58,540 # Gone # 768 00:41:58,608 --> 00:42:00,375 # Love is # 769 00:42:00,443 --> 00:42:05,013 # Never gone # 770 00:42:05,081 --> 00:42:07,182 # As we travel # 771 00:42:07,250 --> 00:42:11,653 # On # 772 00:42:11,721 --> 00:42:17,726 # Love's what we'll remember # 773 00:42:17,794 --> 00:42:20,195 # Kiss today # 774 00:42:20,263 --> 00:42:24,066 # Good-bye # 775 00:42:24,134 --> 00:42:26,235 # And point me toward # 776 00:42:26,302 --> 00:42:29,972 # Tomorrow # 777 00:42:30,039 --> 00:42:31,974 # Oh, we did what # 778 00:42:32,041 --> 00:42:38,981 # We had to do... # 779 00:42:39,048 --> 00:42:44,219 # Oh, won't forget, can't regret # 780 00:42:44,287 --> 00:42:47,956 # What I did for # 781 00:42:48,024 --> 00:42:51,493 ♪ Love ♪ 782 00:42:51,561 --> 00:42:54,062 ♪ What I did for ♪ 783 00:42:54,130 --> 00:42:57,699 ♪ Love ♪ 784 00:42:57,767 --> 00:42:59,835 ♪ What I did ♪ 785 00:42:59,903 --> 00:43:02,971 ♪ For ♪ 786 00:43:03,039 --> 00:43:09,011 ♪ Love. ♪ 787 00:43:09,078 --> 00:43:14,078 Synced by Rafael UPD and YesCool Corrected by YesCool www.addic7ed.com