1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,967 Here's what you missed last season on Glee. 2 00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:06,528 Quinn had a baby. Finn and Rachel are in love. 3 00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:09,234 Sue's going easy on Will. Even though the Glee Club worked really hard... 4 00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:11,607 - to get to regionals, they didn't win. - Vocal Adrenaline! 5 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:14,806 But it's okay to not win an award, particularly when you had so much fun getting there. 6 00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:17,475 - Right? Right? - We didn't even place. 7 00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:20,178 And that's what you missed on Glee. 8 00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:22,949 - Up here. Come on. Focus. 9 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:27,585 Okay. Hi, I'm Jacob Ben Israel, with Glee's Big Gay Summer... 10 00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:30,322 with all the Glee Club dish you're dying to know. 11 00:00:30,397 --> 00:00:33,924 Rachel, how do you respond to rumors you're incredibly difficult to work with? 12 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,128 - Well, as her boyfriend, I can answer that. - We've been dating all summer. 13 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,694 Rachel's what you'd call a "controlist." 14 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:42,139 - I-I-I'm controlling. "Controlist" isn't a word. - Oh. 15 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,768 I'm controlling. Performing is my life. 16 00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:47,312 And, yes, do I have opinions about it? 17 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:50,645 Does my need to constantly express those opinions annoy my fellow Glee Clubbers? 18 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,083 Yes. Yeah. 19 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:55,087 That was out loud, wasn't it? 20 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:58,591 Will Schuester, how do you respond to a recent post on my blog... 21 00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:00,819 saying your Glee Club song selections... 22 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,761 sound like they come from a drag queen's iPod? 23 00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:05,991 Well, I try to do something for everybody. 24 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:10,469 Uh, 25% show tunes, 25% hip-hop, 25% classic rock- 25 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,471 100% gay. 26 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:15,702 Confirm or deny the rumor that because you knocked up Quinn Fabray... 27 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:19,176 you spent all your summer pool cleaning money on a vasectomy. 28 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:22,305 It's true. It was the responsible thing to do. 29 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:25,317 Is it also true you're suffering from a crippling depression... 30 00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,512 because you're not over Miss Fabray? 31 00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:32,985 How has life changed since the birth of your bastard child? 32 00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:36,995 Well, I'm happy to be back, and I'm ready to start fresh. 33 00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:40,499 And I'm a lot less hormonal... 34 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,694 so- so there's not really any crying. 35 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:46,227 - How was your summer? - My eyes are up here, Jewfro. 36 00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:48,900 - And it was uneventful. - People thought I went on vacation... 37 00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:51,466 but actually I spent the summer lost in the sewers. 38 00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:54,809 What can you say about the rumors the two of you are dating? 39 00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:58,009 - Because we're both Asian? That's racist. - Totally racist. 40 00:01:58,084 --> 00:01:59,415 Oh. 41 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:05,818 Did you get that? You saw it here first. 44 00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:17,693 - When will you Glee Clubbers accept the fact- - Not now. 45 00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:19,635 - That people hate you and think you're nothing- - I'm busy. 46 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,571 - But a glorified karaoke club- - Go away. 47 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,201 Designed to make the inventors of Auto-Tune millions of dollars? 48 00:02:24,277 --> 00:02:27,337 When exactly did you ink your sponsorship with Lands' End? 49 00:02:27,413 --> 00:02:30,541 When are you slated to make your triumphant return to the Shire? 50 00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:32,209 How do you get the white on rice? 51 00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:34,446 What did you do with all that breast milk? 52 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,421 You know what, Jacob? It doesn't take much courage... 53 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,787 for people to park their cottage cheese behinds in their Barcaloungers... 54 00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:41,588 and log on to the Internet and start tearing people down, does it? 55 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,458 But you know what does take some courage? 56 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,930 Standing up and singing about something. 57 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,194 So here's a message for everyone that reads your blog. 58 00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:50,862 Next time, instead of posting an anonymous comment online... 59 00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:54,065 say what you have to say to my face. 60 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:57,234 Welcome back, lady! 61 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,335 Whoo! 62 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:05,713 I don't suppose there's any way you could just cut out that last part, is there? 63 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:36,276 Hey. Why so glum, William? Cat crap in your coffee? 64 00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:38,510 Or are you worried no one's signing up for your club? 65 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:41,577 Not at all, Sue. Nationals are in New York City this year. 66 00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:43,781 That list is gonna be filled up in no time. 67 00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:47,622 You know what your problem is? "No tryouts. Just sign up!" 68 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:50,629 Nobody wants to be a part of a club that just anyone can join. 69 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:53,825 See this? It's a court summons- child endangerment. 70 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:57,131 There's been a line of would-be Cheerios out there since late July. 71 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:59,637 I guess they lost their humanity a little bit. 72 00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:01,606 One girl ate a pigeon. 73 00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:05,371 Several others started worshipping a possum carcass as their lord. 74 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,470 That's how much they want to be Cheerios. 75 00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:12,507 Sorry, Sue. Anyone who wants to join Glee Club... gets to join. 76 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,678 Oh, God, Will. Let me break it down for you. 77 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,052 High school's a dry run for the rest of your life. 78 00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:20,183 Not everyone can be champions. Not everyone should be champions. 79 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,888 We need fry cooks, bus drivers- 80 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,726 Well, Sue, it's how I work, and it's not gonna change. 81 00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:28,699 I like being friends with you, Will. This is fun. 82 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,134 You make not trying to destroy Glee Club easy. 83 00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:34,139 You know why? 'Cause you're doing such a bang-up job of it... 84 00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,697 all by yourself. 85 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,835 - Oop. It's time to feed my gimp. 86 00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:41,471 Oh, and also, Figgins wants to see us. 87 00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:45,014 Ah, ah, ah! Not you! Hands off that list. 88 00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:50,051 Cut my budget? You can't cut my budget... 89 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,251 without written consent from the president of the Federal Reserve! 90 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,021 It's in my contract! 91 00:04:55,094 --> 00:04:59,690 Sue, I think you can manage a sixth national title without two confetti cannons. 92 00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:01,859 You think your kids can manage life without their daddy? 93 00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:03,902 We're barely surviving on the budget we have. 94 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,029 Slashing the Glee budget by 10%... 95 00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:09,336 cutting our transportation to and from events is like cutting our legs off. 96 00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:11,104 Sacrifices must be made. 97 00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:13,236 This is being mandated at the district level, guys. 98 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,111 Studies show that the best way to bring in alumni donations... 99 00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:18,548 is through a successful athletic department- 100 00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:20,586 specifically, a winning football team. 101 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,087 Who's this? 102 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,386 I'm Shannon Beiste. I'm the new football coach. 103 00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:28,120 Spelled B-E-I-S-T-E. It's French. 104 00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:30,094 I'm sorry. What happened to Ken Tanaka? 105 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,529 Nervous breakdown. 106 00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:35,123 Don't look at it as a punishment. 107 00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:38,034 Look at it as an investment into your clubs' futures. 108 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:40,595 The more money the football program brings in... 109 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,573 the more I can give back to you guys! 110 00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:45,577 Coach Beiste here is fresh off her fifth consecutive... 111 00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:48,239 all-Missouri high school football championship. 112 00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:52,273 - We're very lucky to have her! - What can I say? I like a challenge. 113 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,981 First of all, a female football coach, like a male nurse- 114 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,613 sin against nature. 115 00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,624 Number two: 116 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:03,492 I'm sure you're used to hillbilly parents yelping adulation at you... 117 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:07,158 as they attempt to impregnate the tailpipes of various off-road vehicles. 118 00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:10,566 But you're in my house now, Beiste. 119 00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:14,663 No one comes into my house and steals from me. 120 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:18,973 Do not get up in the Panther's business, lady. 121 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,104 You're all coffee and no omelet. 122 00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:26,082 - That doesn't make any sense. - Coach, uh, Beiste... 123 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:27,813 I- I think you understand our frustration. 124 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,947 - Our budgets just got cut by 10%. - It should have been more! 125 00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:33,958 You think there's not something wrong when the cheerleaders' budget's... 126 00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:35,687 higher than the people who they're cheering for? 127 00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:38,595 - Well, sure, but the Glee Club is a- - The Glee Club? 128 00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:42,532 You came in third last year and you're asking for more money? 129 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:46,663 That's a steer with six teats and no oink. 130 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:52,938 - That doesn't make any sense. - What? 131 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,043 These are comments from Jacob Ben Israel's... 132 00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:58,481 most recent Glee Club blog. 133 00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:00,644 "Glee is a giant ball of suck." 134 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,188 We get it, Mr. Schue. Everyone still hates us. 135 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,316 So what? So we're plankton on the high school food chain. 136 00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:08,519 Only difference now is that none of us really care. 137 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:11,188 Kurt's right. We're a family. They can bring it all they want. 138 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,131 - None of it is gonna break us. - I'm happy that you guys have bonded. 139 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:17,067 The problem is that all of this negative stuff... 140 00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,127 is keeping other students from auditioning. 141 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:21,298 Good. Why do we need new members? 142 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:24,138 Well, since Matt transferred, we only have 11 members. 143 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:27,008 If we want to go to nationals- if we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline- 144 00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:30,742 we have to go from a small rebel force to a giant wall of sound. 145 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,512 Yeah. Mr. Schuester's right, you guys. 146 00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:34,917 You didn't see Vocal Adrenaline at regionals. They were epic. 147 00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:37,581 We're gonna need more voices in order to beat them. 148 00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,420 Yeah. I'm with Rachel on this one. 149 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:40,652 Gross. 150 00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:43,024 You're gonna have to trust me on this, guys. 151 00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:44,892 Now, here's the plan. 152 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,558 Nationals are in New York this year. 153 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,828 And we are going! 154 00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:51,597 Now let's go out there... 155 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:54,868 and show the school how cool it's gonna be, how cool we can be. 156 00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:57,136 If they're not gonna come to us, let's go to them. 157 00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:00,043 They say we only sing show tunes and '80s pop. 158 00:08:00,112 --> 00:08:02,376 Let's show them how down we are. 159 00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:04,507 Let's give 'em the song of the year... 160 00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:06,279 - New Directions style. - Okay! 161 00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:08,081 - Whoo! 162 00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:26,594 # Yeah, yeah, I'm out that Brooklyn Now I'm down in Tribeca # 163 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,970 # Right next to De Niro but I'll be hood forever # 164 00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,976 # I'm the new Sinatra And since I made it here # 165 00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:34,410 # I can make it anywhere Yeah, they love me everywhere # 166 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,244 # I used to cop in Harlem All of my Dominicanos # 167 00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:40,410 # Right there up on Broadway Pull me back to that McDonald's # 168 00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:43,148 # Took it to my stash box 560 State Street # 169 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:45,656 # Catch me in the kitchen like a Simmons whippin' pastries # 170 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,489 # Eight million stories out there and they're naked # 171 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:51,587 # City is a pity Half of y'all won't make it # 172 00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:53,632 # Me, I gotta plug Special Ed "I Got It Made" # 173 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:56,668 # If Jesus payin' LeBron I'm payin' Dwyane Wade # 174 00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:59,830 # Three-dice, Cee Lo three-card Molly # 175 00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:02,568 # Labor Day Parade Rest in peace, Bob Marley # 176 00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:05,270 # Jigga, I be Spiked out I could trip a referee # 177 00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:09,246 # Tell by my attitude that I'm most definitely from # 178 00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:11,613 - # In New York # - # Hey # 179 00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:15,120 # Concrete jungle where dreams are made of # 180 00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:18,020 # There's nothin' you can't do # 181 00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:22,618 - # Now you're in New York # - # You're in New York # 182 00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:24,822 # Welcome to the bright lights, baby # 183 00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:29,129 # These streets will make you feel brand-new Big lights will inspire you # 184 00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:31,931 # Let's hear it for New York # 185 00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:34,666 # New York, New York # 186 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,605 # Yeah # 187 00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:39,645 # One hand in the air for the big city # 188 00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:42,146 # Streetlights, big dreams all lookin' pretty # 189 00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:44,808 # No place in the world that could compare # 190 00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:46,818 # Put your lighters in the air # 191 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:49,218 # Everybody say Yeah, yeah # 192 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:52,889 # Yeah, yeah # 193 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,860 # In New York # 194 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:59,227 # Concrete jungle where dreams are made of # 195 00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:02,734 # There's nothing you can't do # 196 00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:05,669 - # Now you're in New York # - # New York # 197 00:10:05,738 --> 00:10:07,137 # New York # 198 00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:11,700 # These streets will make you feel brand-new # 199 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:14,041 # Big lights will inspire you # 200 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,240 # Let's hear it for New York # 201 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:19,341 - # New York, New York # - # New York, New York # 202 00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:21,147 # New # 203 00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:35,065 Hey, Sue. Can I talk to you for a second? 204 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,761 Sure, buddy. You look steamed. 205 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,896 Those kids went out and really tried to show what Glee Club was all about. 206 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:43,931 And how does the school repay them? By defacing the sign-up sheet. 207 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:46,376 "Buttface McBallnuts." "Ass-braham Lin-colon." 208 00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:48,777 - They're not even funny! - Now, don't be rude, William. 209 00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:51,783 I put a lot of thought into those. 210 00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,876 Consider this a wake-up call. 211 00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:55,887 You're worried about getting new recruits? 212 00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:58,253 Well, if Beiste gets her way and our budgets are slashed... 213 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,053 you'll be cutting kids left and right. 214 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,723 You're right. I hadn't thought about that. 215 00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,130 Beiste needs to be stopped... 216 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,760 and I need your help to topple her. 217 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,497 You in? 218 00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:18,105 I'm in. 219 00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:25,078 I was really excited about my Glee Club recruit poster design. 220 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,711 I made it supermasculine, just like these pamphlets I saw... 221 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,722 some army guys passing out at a day-care center. 222 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,452 Then I heard something. 223 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,653 # In the dead of the night # 224 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:39,493 # Although we lie close together # 225 00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:43,001 - # I feel like we're miles apart inside # - It was this new transfer kid. 226 00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:45,663 I saw him tappin'his foot when we busted out in the courtyard. 227 00:11:45,738 --> 00:11:50,266 # They say every rose has its thorn # 228 00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:58,148 # Just like every night has its dawn # 229 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:01,186 I would've joined in with a kick-ass harmony, but the dude was naked. 230 00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:04,916 # Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song ## 231 00:12:16,602 --> 00:12:18,126 Oh, hello. 232 00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:20,832 I couldn't help but notice you admiring me yesterday in the courtyard. 233 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,602 - Um, what? - Oh, you don't speak English. 234 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,871 You like me sing. 235 00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:28,345 You like me sing very much. 236 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,143 Um, I totally speak English. 237 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:31,808 I even did a little research on you. 238 00:12:31,884 --> 00:12:34,318 You're a foreign exchange student named Sunshine Corazon... 239 00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:37,014 because you're from the Philippines, where it's sunny every day. 240 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,148 - Except for the monsoons. - Listen, Sunshine. 241 00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:42,456 We need chorus members- people to stand behind me and stare at me... 242 00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,621 with wet, moved eyes while I sing solos. 243 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:48,656 So I encourage you to audition for Glee Club! 244 00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:53,899 Glee Club is fun. Swaying in background can be fun. 245 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:54,997 - Thank you. - Okay. 246 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:02,141 # Hello, hello, baby You called, I can't hear a thing # 247 00:13:02,214 --> 00:13:05,513 # I have got no service in the club you see, see # 248 00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:09,987 # What, what, what did you say Oh, you're breaking up on me # 249 00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:13,491 # Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy # 250 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,493 # K-Kinda busy # 251 00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,893 # K-Kinda busy # 252 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:21,990 # Sorry, I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy # 253 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:25,594 # Just a second It's my favorite song they're gonna play # 254 00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:29,539 # And I cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh # 255 00:13:29,608 --> 00:13:33,374 # You should've made some plans with me You knew that I was free # 256 00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:37,575 # And now you won't stop calling me I'm kinda busy # 257 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:42,110 # Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna think anymore # 258 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:45,385 # I left my head and my heart on the dance floor # 259 00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:49,450 # Stop callin', stop callin' I don't wanna talk anymore # 260 00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:53,862 # I left my head and my heart on the dance floor # 261 00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,793 # Stop telephoning me # 262 00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:00,304 # Stop telephoning me # 263 00:14:00,372 --> 00:14:01,532 # I'm busy ## 264 00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:04,135 Shut up! 265 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,814 Um, that was fun. 266 00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:13,909 I'd love to join your club. When are auditions? 267 00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:17,149 Let me get back to you on that one. Don't tell anyone about this, okay? 268 00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,656 Okay. 269 00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:25,489 We're trying to recruit new members for Glee Club. 270 00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:28,764 The Panther isn't cool with anything... 271 00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:33,100 except doing exactly what she says without question. 272 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,766 That's how you win. Now, first things first. 273 00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:39,470 You're all cut. Everyone starts fresh with me. 274 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,742 Tryouts start right now. Any questions? 275 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:46,216 I got 25 everything pies... 276 00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:48,810 for a Coach Beiste? 277 00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:52,288 I didn't order any pizzas. 278 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,498 Isn't this kind of immature? 279 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:07,130 Oh, it's downright childish. But I know gals like Beiste. 280 00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:10,175 Oh, her high school life must have been miserable. 281 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:12,472 She's oversized, humorless... 282 00:15:12,544 --> 00:15:15,104 refers to herself in the third person as an animal. 283 00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:18,106 This kind of abuse and teasing... 284 00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:20,617 will bring back all those childhood memories. 285 00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:24,144 She'll be shaken to her core. Humiliated and devastated. 286 00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:26,521 She'll have no choice but to quit her job. 287 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,685 And our budgets will be restored. 288 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,058 Yes! 289 00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:34,498 The boss says, uh, if you don't pay for 'em I have to... 290 00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:38,127 which means we have to reuse my kid's Pampers... 291 00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:40,364 for another week. 292 00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:51,878 Hand 'em out, Wayne Newton. All right, guys, it's a pizza party. 293 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,546 Dig in. Everybody has to eat at least four slices. 294 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,988 Let's go! And when you're done, full pads out on the field. 295 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:01,549 We're doing wind sprints. 296 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,721 And the first 10 to puke are off the team. 297 00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:13,536 Hey, guys, um, there's pizza in there if you want some. 298 00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:15,664 - Thank you. - Thank you. 299 00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:21,943 I figured that if Kurt's gay and he can do it, then why can't I? 300 00:16:22,014 --> 00:16:24,209 Being gay isn't a handicap, Artie. 301 00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:26,251 How can you play football in a wheelchair anyway? 302 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,286 I have to get on that team, Finn. 303 00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:32,924 - Dude, what's this about? - Tina. 304 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,460 She dumped me for Mike Chang. 305 00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:39,463 They fell in love over the summer at Asian camp. 306 00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:41,590 They were counselors, in charge of teaching... 307 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,568 all those tech-sawy Asian kids about the arts. 308 00:16:44,636 --> 00:16:49,300 # Getting to know all about you # 309 00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:52,401 # Getting to like you ## 310 00:16:57,883 --> 00:17:00,408 So what did Tina say when she broke up with you? 311 00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,579 I think you're great, Artie. But you're a terrible boyfriend. 312 00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:04,417 You ignored me for weeks this summer. 313 00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:06,583 I was playing a marathon round of Halo, woman. 314 00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:08,319 And then when we did get together... 315 00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:11,158 all you wanted to do was watch Coming Home over and over. 316 00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:13,994 Mike tries to be into what I'm into. 317 00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:15,727 Like his abs. 318 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,837 Dude, I'm sympathetic for you. I just don't see you on the football team. 319 00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:24,933 Imagine you were pushing me in this hunk of metal down the field at full speed. 320 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:26,910 The centrifugal force would be too much to stop. 321 00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:30,142 I'd be like a medieval battering ram. 322 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:34,151 Dude, you'd be like a human cannonball. That would be awesome! 323 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,150 So you'll help? 324 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,656 Sure. But you gotta help me first. 325 00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:41,758 Hey, Sam. 326 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,457 My name's Finn. This here is Artie. 327 00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:47,590 Yeah, I know who you are. You're the- the quarterback. 328 00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:49,600 Exactly. Which makes me very cool. 329 00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:51,829 And we'd like to talk to you about Glee Club. 330 00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:54,835 So, Sam, tell us about yourself. 331 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,000 My name's Sam Evans. 332 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,374 I like comic books, sports. 333 00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:01,845 I'm dyslexic, so my grades aren't that good. 334 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,508 - But I'm working on it. - Dude, your mouth is huge. 335 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,483 How many tennis balls can you fit in there? 336 00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:09,316 I don't know. I've never had any balls in my mouth. 337 00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:11,049 Have you? 338 00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:16,558 - I like this kid. - I like his confidence. 339 00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:18,960 - But the Bieber cut's gotta go. - Mm-hmm. 340 00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:20,658 So can you sing with that big mouth? 341 00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:23,701 I've never really sung in front of anybody before. 342 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:27,000 Dude, let me tell you- chicks dig singers. 343 00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:29,870 Well, give it a shot. We'll back you up, I promise. 344 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,671 What song you got in your back pocket? 345 00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:33,973 Um, "Billionaire"? 346 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:43,684 # I wanna be a billionaire so freakin' bad # 347 00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:47,748 # Buy all of the things I never had # 348 00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:52,020 # I wanna be on the cover of # 349 00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:54,759 # Forbes magazine # 350 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:59,270 # Smiling next to Oprah and the queen # 351 00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:04,435 # Oh, every time I close my eyes # 352 00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:10,543 # I see my name in shining lights # 353 00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:11,742 # Yeah # 354 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:16,186 # A different city every night Oh, I # 355 00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:20,521 # I swear the world better prepare # 356 00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:23,891 # For when I'm a billionaire # 357 00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:26,590 # Yeah, I would have a show like Oprah # 358 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:29,259 # I would be the host of every day Christmas # 359 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:30,596 # Give Artie a wish list # 360 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:33,297 # I'll probably pull a Angelina and Brad Pitt # 361 00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:35,966 # And adopt a bunch of babies that ain't never had it # 362 00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,771 # Give away a few Mercedes like Here, lady, have this # 363 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:41,745 # And last but not least grant somebody their last wish # 364 00:19:41,813 --> 00:19:44,407 # It's been a couple months that I been single, so # 365 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:46,974 # You can call me Artie Claus minus the ho-ho # 366 00:19:47,052 --> 00:19:50,419 # Get it I'll probably visit where Katrina hit # 367 00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,117 # And darn sure do a lot more than FEMA did # 368 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,558 # Yeah, can't forget about me, stupid # 369 00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:58,289 # Everywhere I go I'm-a have my own theme music # 370 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:01,628 # Oh, every time I close my eyes # 371 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,827 # Oh, what you see, what you see, bro # 372 00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:07,633 # I see my name in shining lights # 373 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,901 - # Uh-huh, uh-huh, and what else # - # Yeah # 374 00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:11,966 # A different city every night # 375 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:16,242 - # Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah # - # Oh, I, I swear # 376 00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:18,306 - # World better prepare # - # For what # 377 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,749 # For when I'm a billionaire # 378 00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:24,311 - # Oh-oh, oh-oh # - # Oh # 379 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,983 # When I'm a billionaire # 380 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,754 # Oh-oh, oh-oh # 381 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:32,160 - # Sing it # - # When I'm a billionaire # 382 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,324 # Oh-oh, oh-oh # 383 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,730 # Oh # 384 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:40,003 # I wanna be a billionaire # 385 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:44,873 # So freakin' bad ## 386 00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:49,344 - That- That was really cool. - Nice. 387 00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:52,281 You think you can come back and do that in front of everybody? 388 00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:53,477 Sure. 389 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:02,357 So is that a men's sweater? 390 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,327 Fashion has no gender. 391 00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:08,298 Ladies, we have a problem. There's a new student at this school... 392 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:11,063 named Sunshine who is a Filipino and is shorter than me. 393 00:21:11,136 --> 00:21:13,696 Which I didn't think was possible and is very unnerving. 394 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,297 - Okay. So I'm gonna go now. - Wait! 395 00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:19,503 And... she has a remarkable voice. 396 00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:22,069 I'm just- 397 00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:25,014 I'm very worried. You know, not for myself... 398 00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:28,143 but for my lesser Glee Clubbers who don't get as many solos. 399 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:31,246 So I've paid a hundred dollars to Azimio and Karofsky... 400 00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:33,052 to brutally Slushee us in front of Sunshine's locker... 401 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,923 terrifying her and ensuring she doesn't sign up. 402 00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:39,191 Uh, okay. This is the part where you're supposed to be hugging me and thanking me. 403 00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:41,232 That's awful. You're awful. 404 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,165 - But solos. I mean- - Look, Rachel. 405 00:21:43,235 --> 00:21:45,829 Mercedes and I are about as self-involved as they come. 406 00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:48,099 But more than anything, we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline. 407 00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:51,836 And if there's someone at the school that can help us do that, they're in. 408 00:21:53,745 --> 00:21:55,406 You know what? 409 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,847 You're right. 410 00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:01,943 It's just so like me to just be... 411 00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:04,853 totally blinded by my concern for the two of you. 412 00:22:04,923 --> 00:22:07,687 Well, I'll- I'll go talk to Sunshine now... 413 00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:10,592 and just let her know how truly welcome she really is. 414 00:22:12,531 --> 00:22:14,226 Thanks. 415 00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:25,905 Hi. So, here's the address for the audition tomorrow and helpful directions. 416 00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:28,241 - Look forward to seeing you there. - Thanks. 417 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:40,321 Beiste is on the move. Operation Mean Girl is a go. 418 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,494 Move. Go! Disperse. 419 00:22:43,562 --> 00:22:45,223 Leave the Danish. 420 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:53,163 - Anyone sitting here? - Yes. 421 00:22:53,238 --> 00:22:55,832 These seats are currently being occupied by my ghost friends. 422 00:22:55,907 --> 00:22:58,239 - I beg your pardon? - My ghost friends. 423 00:22:58,310 --> 00:23:01,609 Hideous, lonely faculty members who met with an early death... 424 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,807 from good old-fashioned school-yard bullying. 425 00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:07,147 And you know why? They tried to cross me. 426 00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:09,346 So why don't you just keep on walking? 427 00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:17,260 Hi, Will. You mind if I sit here? 428 00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:20,594 Uh, sorry. Taken. 429 00:23:20,665 --> 00:23:22,292 How about there? 430 00:23:22,367 --> 00:23:26,269 Actually, they're all sort of taken. 431 00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:31,207 I am, uh, meeting with some science teachers. 432 00:23:31,276 --> 00:23:35,178 You think it's easy being a female football coach, being different? 433 00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,045 You think I don't get this everywhere I go? 434 00:23:38,116 --> 00:23:41,415 Everybody told me that Sue was the school bully and that- 435 00:23:41,486 --> 00:23:43,545 that you were really cool. 436 00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:45,613 I see they got that last part wrong, huh? 437 00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:08,044 So you know why Helen Keller couldn't drive, right? 438 00:24:08,113 --> 00:24:10,047 - Why? - 'Cause she was a woman. 439 00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:13,346 Oh, dude, that's messed up, man. 440 00:24:13,418 --> 00:24:18,185 Coach Beiste? Are you crying? 441 00:24:18,256 --> 00:24:20,224 Yeah. 442 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:24,752 Saw your stats from last season, and it really hurt my feelings. 443 00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:29,065 Hey, Coach. Uh- 444 00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:33,532 This is Artie. He'd like to try out for the team. 445 00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:38,066 - You screwing with me? - No. No, absolutely not. 446 00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:42,705 We figured that if I push him down the field fast enough, the- the- the centrifugal- 447 00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:43,839 - Centrifugal. - Centrifugal force- 448 00:24:43,915 --> 00:24:45,644 You're out. 449 00:24:45,717 --> 00:24:49,209 - Wait. What? - You're off the team. Cut. Out. 450 00:24:50,355 --> 00:24:52,516 You come in here pushing a kid in a wheelchair... 451 00:24:52,591 --> 00:24:54,286 making me look like some kind of monster... 452 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,190 because I have to tell him he can't play? 453 00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:58,491 - No, uh- - No, that's not what was going on here. Artie- 454 00:24:58,563 --> 00:25:01,464 I really wanna play. I want my girlfriend back... 455 00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:04,297 and I want abs. 456 00:25:04,369 --> 00:25:07,532 Yeah, he's like a human battering ram. Like- Like Braveheart. 457 00:25:07,606 --> 00:25:10,131 You know what? I don't like being screwed with! 458 00:25:10,208 --> 00:25:12,438 - Do you understand me? - Dude, you're totally overreacting. 459 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:14,206 "Dude"? 460 00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:16,747 Get the hell out of my locker room! 461 00:25:16,815 --> 00:25:19,113 Go! 462 00:25:20,886 --> 00:25:23,446 Think this is some joke? 463 00:25:24,222 --> 00:25:25,280 God! 464 00:25:36,167 --> 00:25:37,794 Next. 465 00:25:43,475 --> 00:25:45,670 - No way. Get out. - Coach Sylvester, please hear me out. 466 00:25:45,744 --> 00:25:48,679 Nope. I trusted you, and you let me down. 467 00:25:48,747 --> 00:25:50,476 I don't want you anywhere near my squad. 468 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:53,416 You'll deafen them with the sound of your stretch marks rubbing together. 469 00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:56,648 I understand you had your confetti cannons taken away. 470 00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:59,986 I bet there are quite a few church groups who would gladly give money... 471 00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:02,492 to a squad who helped rehabilitate a girl who got pregnant... 472 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,860 and now speaks out for abstinence education while wearing a Cheerios uniform. 473 00:26:07,699 --> 00:26:08,688 Next! 474 00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:15,771 Oh, my gosh, Coach. 475 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,138 Wait. You're serious? Finn? 476 00:26:18,209 --> 00:26:19,870 My eyes are still burning. 477 00:26:19,945 --> 00:26:24,507 I'm Finn Hudson, and I'd like to audition for the Cheerios. 478 00:26:26,851 --> 00:26:28,614 # I've got the power # 479 00:26:35,660 --> 00:26:38,220 # I've got the power # 480 00:26:40,131 --> 00:26:42,156 Am I dreaming? 481 00:26:42,233 --> 00:26:44,030 - # I've got the power ## - Is this happening? 482 00:26:44,102 --> 00:26:45,899 But why? 483 00:26:49,207 --> 00:26:52,040 Coach Beiste kicked me off the football team. 484 00:26:52,110 --> 00:26:56,444 I'm not the quarterback anymore, which means I'm nothing. 485 00:26:57,716 --> 00:26:59,377 I miss being popular. 486 00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:01,385 This is really embarrassing. 487 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:03,751 I have really great leadership skills... 488 00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:06,382 and, uh, I'm athletic... 489 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,722 so I could help with the lifts and stuff. 490 00:27:10,595 --> 00:27:12,927 I hope you'll consider me. 491 00:27:14,065 --> 00:27:15,828 Why would he get kicked off the football team? 492 00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:19,028 Finn was just trying to help out his "handicapable" friend. 493 00:27:19,104 --> 00:27:22,870 He was insubordinate, twice. I'm the captain of the U.S.S. Kick Ass... 494 00:27:22,941 --> 00:27:25,671 not the U.S.S. Back Talk. 495 00:27:25,744 --> 00:27:28,770 Please, Coach, don't do this to me. I need football. It's who I am. 496 00:27:28,847 --> 00:27:30,337 I thought you were the Glee guy. 497 00:27:30,415 --> 00:27:33,077 I mean, what, with all the sign-up sheets you put in my locker room. 498 00:27:33,151 --> 00:27:36,052 Finn is a really good kid. Give him a chance to show you. 499 00:27:36,121 --> 00:27:38,715 You mean don't make a snap judgment about him? 500 00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:42,886 Don't make his life miserable because I assume he's a certain way? 501 00:27:42,961 --> 00:27:45,930 Okay. I get it. This is about me. 502 00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:48,431 I haven't been very welcoming. But, please- please- 503 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,195 don't take this out on Finn. 504 00:27:50,268 --> 00:27:53,260 - Am I through here, Principal Figgins? - Mm-hmm. 505 00:28:00,111 --> 00:28:02,545 A little bird told me that someone spent her summer vacation... 506 00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:04,479 getting a brand-new set of melons... 507 00:28:04,549 --> 00:28:09,213 even though you know I have a very strict "no plastics" policy in Cheerios. 508 00:28:09,287 --> 00:28:12,586 - Care to comment? - I just- 509 00:28:12,657 --> 00:28:15,990 What would possess a person your age to get a boob job? 510 00:28:16,061 --> 00:28:18,154 You don't even know what your body's gonna look like. 511 00:28:18,229 --> 00:28:22,063 It's an insult to nature and completely distracting. 512 00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:25,762 I can't take my eyes off them. I'm actually talking to them right now. 513 00:28:25,837 --> 00:28:29,238 I wanted people to notice me more. I-I don't get what the big deal is. 514 00:28:29,307 --> 00:28:31,798 Well, the big deal is that a person who has to pump her nonnies... 515 00:28:31,876 --> 00:28:34,071 full of gravy to feel good about herself... 516 00:28:34,145 --> 00:28:37,239 clearly doesn't have the self-esteem to be my head cheerleader. 517 00:28:38,383 --> 00:28:40,510 Quinn will replace you. 518 00:28:40,585 --> 00:28:44,419 - Oh, and, Boobs McGee... 519 00:28:44,489 --> 00:28:46,480 you're demoted to the bottom of the pyramid... 520 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:49,322 so when it collapses, your exploding sandbags... 521 00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:52,192 will protect the squad from injury. 522 00:28:53,665 --> 00:28:56,759 Now take your juicy, vine-ripened chest fruit... 523 00:28:56,835 --> 00:28:59,565 and get the hell out of my office. 524 00:29:27,565 --> 00:29:30,329 You did this to me. You told Coach Sylvester about my summer surgery! 525 00:29:30,401 --> 00:29:32,392 You have a surgery when you get your appendix out. 526 00:29:32,470 --> 00:29:35,200 - You got a boob job! - Yep, sure did. 527 00:29:35,273 --> 00:29:36,968 - You can't hit me. - Sure, I can. 528 00:29:37,041 --> 00:29:39,771 Unless you got yourself knocked up again, slut! 529 00:29:39,844 --> 00:29:42,142 - Stop the violence. 530 00:29:44,983 --> 00:29:46,883 H-H-Hey! Hey! What is this? 531 00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:48,748 - What happened to us being a family? Hey! - Stop it. 532 00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:51,152 - Oh, please. She has a family. She's a mother. - Stop that. 533 00:29:51,222 --> 00:29:55,022 - Walk away. And tighten up your pony before you get to class! - Hey. 534 00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:14,040 Well, hate to break it to you, but it doesn't look like anyone's gonna be joining us. 535 00:30:14,112 --> 00:30:17,513 - I think we should call it a day. - We said 3:00 to 5:00. It's only 4:58. 536 00:30:17,582 --> 00:30:20,210 Just wait. My buddy Sam's gonna try out. He totally idolizes me. 537 00:30:20,285 --> 00:30:22,253 Face it, Finn. You're no longer the quarterback. 538 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,015 You're not the pied piper anymore. 539 00:30:24,088 --> 00:30:27,057 No one's gonna follow you around thinking everything you do is cool. 540 00:30:27,125 --> 00:30:30,060 What about that Sunshine girl? I thought you said she could sing. 541 00:30:30,128 --> 00:30:32,961 I guess she didn't want to hang out with us losers. 542 00:30:38,436 --> 00:30:42,031 Show us on the doll where Coach Beiste touched you. 543 00:30:43,808 --> 00:30:45,776 Here and here. 544 00:30:47,712 --> 00:30:49,577 - This is outrageous. - I'll say. 545 00:30:49,647 --> 00:30:53,242 Anyone who would prey on someone as sweet and simple as poor, poor Brittany... 546 00:30:53,318 --> 00:30:55,309 deserves everything that's coming to her. 547 00:30:55,386 --> 00:30:59,880 I suggest immediate termination and entry into the statewide sex offender database. 548 00:30:59,958 --> 00:31:02,085 Sorry I'm late. 549 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:05,425 - What's going on? - Brittany here has accused Coach Beiste... 550 00:31:05,496 --> 00:31:07,987 of inappropriate touching. 551 00:31:08,066 --> 00:31:09,590 What? 552 00:31:09,667 --> 00:31:13,433 - Brittany, that's a serious accusation. - It's very serious. 553 00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:21,505 Brittany, what you're saying could ruin somebody's life. 554 00:31:21,579 --> 00:31:24,639 It's really important that you tell the truth here. 555 00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:28,678 I made it up. 556 00:31:28,753 --> 00:31:30,812 Coach Beiste didn't touch my boobs. 557 00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:34,188 Actually, I really want to touch her boobs. 558 00:31:34,259 --> 00:31:36,591 - If you're all done wasting my time... 559 00:31:36,661 --> 00:31:39,528 - I have a football team to coach. - Coach- 560 00:31:46,037 --> 00:31:48,335 - You're weak, Will! - You know what, Sue? 561 00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:50,897 Mr. Schue, can we talk to you? It's kind of important. 562 00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:01,885 - Tell me this isn't true, Rachel. - She could have died. 563 00:32:01,953 --> 00:32:04,888 I didn't send her to an active crack house. 564 00:32:04,956 --> 00:32:06,651 Besides, how did you guys find out anyways? 565 00:32:06,724 --> 00:32:08,157 The Asian community is very tight. 566 00:32:08,226 --> 00:32:10,194 I just don't get it. You're better than this. 567 00:32:10,261 --> 00:32:13,287 No. She's an ambitious little freak who will do anything to hold onto her power. 568 00:32:14,565 --> 00:32:17,398 I just- I love you guys so much. 569 00:32:17,468 --> 00:32:21,302 I was wrong before. I don't want any new members. 570 00:32:21,372 --> 00:32:25,900 I- I didn't want anyone coming in and messing up our group dynamic. 571 00:32:25,977 --> 00:32:28,741 Tina, Mike- what if Sunshine can dance? 572 00:32:28,813 --> 00:32:30,713 Then your contributions to Glee... 573 00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:33,512 will be even more insignificant than they already are now. 574 00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:35,176 I did this for you guys. 575 00:32:37,755 --> 00:32:41,851 Whatever your motivations, you need to make this right, Rachel. 576 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,568 I'm sorry for sending you to that crack house. 577 00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:55,663 They stole my sheet music and used it for toilet paper. 578 00:32:55,740 --> 00:33:01,042 I'll buy you a new set. Just, um, come pick it up at the auditorium at 4:00 tomorrow. 579 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,683 Hi. I'm Sunshine Corazon... 580 00:33:10,755 --> 00:33:13,781 and I'll be singing "Listen" from the movie Dreamgirls. 581 00:33:13,858 --> 00:33:15,849 - Broadway show first. - Shh. 582 00:33:15,927 --> 00:33:16,961 Shut up. 583 00:33:19,530 --> 00:33:22,693 # Listen # 584 00:33:22,767 --> 00:33:26,464 # To the song here in my heart # 585 00:33:26,537 --> 00:33:30,439 # A melody I start # 586 00:33:30,508 --> 00:33:35,138 # But I can't complete # 587 00:33:35,213 --> 00:33:37,773 # Listen # 588 00:33:39,017 --> 00:33:42,714 - Whoo! - # To the sound from deep within # 589 00:33:42,787 --> 00:33:45,915 # It's only beginning # 590 00:33:45,990 --> 00:33:49,391 # To find release # 591 00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:52,452 # Oh, the time has come # 592 00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:54,998 # For my dreams to be heard # 593 00:33:55,066 --> 00:34:00,470 # They will not be pushed aside and turned into your own # 594 00:34:00,538 --> 00:34:06,101 # All 'cause you won't listen # 595 00:34:06,177 --> 00:34:08,236 - # Listen # - Whoo! 596 00:34:08,312 --> 00:34:12,248 # I am alone at the crossroads # 597 00:34:12,316 --> 00:34:15,843 # I'm not at home in my own home # 598 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:19,754 # And I've tried and tried to say what's on my mind # 599 00:34:19,824 --> 00:34:21,815 # You should have known # 600 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:23,360 # Oh # 601 00:34:23,428 --> 00:34:27,262 # Now I'm done believin' you # 602 00:34:27,331 --> 00:34:29,993 # You don't know what I'm feelin' # 603 00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:33,526 # I'm more than what you made of me # 604 00:34:33,604 --> 00:34:38,268 # I followed the voice you gave to me # 605 00:34:38,342 --> 00:34:41,470 # But now I gotta find my own # 606 00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:45,141 # I don't know where I belong # 607 00:34:45,216 --> 00:34:49,516 # But I'll be movin' on # 608 00:34:49,587 --> 00:34:53,887 # If you don't # 609 00:34:53,958 --> 00:34:57,325 # If you won't # 610 00:34:57,395 --> 00:35:00,626 # Listen # 611 00:35:00,698 --> 00:35:04,361 # To the song here in my heart # 612 00:35:04,435 --> 00:35:12,706 # A melody I start but I will complete # 613 00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:14,540 # Oh-ho # 614 00:35:14,612 --> 00:35:17,740 # Now I'm done believin' you # 615 00:35:17,815 --> 00:35:20,375 # You don't know what I'm feelin' # 616 00:35:20,451 --> 00:35:24,080 # I'm more than what you made of me # 617 00:35:24,155 --> 00:35:28,956 # I followed the voice you think you gave to me # 618 00:35:29,026 --> 00:35:32,393 # But now I gotta find # 619 00:35:32,463 --> 00:35:35,830 # My own # 620 00:35:35,900 --> 00:35:42,305 # My own ## 621 00:35:48,946 --> 00:35:51,779 Wow. Um- 622 00:35:51,849 --> 00:35:55,216 Welcome to the Glee Club. 623 00:35:56,821 --> 00:35:58,584 Thank you. 624 00:36:02,693 --> 00:36:05,355 - Do you mind if I join you? 625 00:36:09,267 --> 00:36:10,700 Okay. 626 00:36:12,870 --> 00:36:15,430 Look, I really owe you an apology. 627 00:36:17,308 --> 00:36:20,709 I-I guess I kicked this year off thinking that all of us in the Glee Club... 628 00:36:20,778 --> 00:36:24,646 weren't outcasts anymore, and I thought we'd be turning kids away. 629 00:36:24,715 --> 00:36:27,548 And then when no one signed up for the club... 630 00:36:27,618 --> 00:36:31,554 I realized that we were still at the bottom- outsiders. 631 00:36:33,324 --> 00:36:35,258 And that's how I made you feel. 632 00:36:37,228 --> 00:36:38,718 And I'm sorry. 633 00:36:40,831 --> 00:36:43,766 Thank you. 634 00:36:44,502 --> 00:36:46,060 William, Beiste- 635 00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:52,508 I wanted to make a peace offering with a batch of warm, homemade cookies. 636 00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:55,808 - Oh. - Those smell like dog poop. Are those dog poop cookies? 637 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,781 No. That's the flaxseed oil you're smelling. 638 00:36:58,849 --> 00:37:01,943 These are heart-healthy cookies for some of our burlier Americans. 639 00:37:02,019 --> 00:37:03,418 Sue... 640 00:37:03,487 --> 00:37:05,284 we're not gonna do this anymore. 641 00:37:06,290 --> 00:37:10,021 Are you turning on me... in public? 642 00:37:11,329 --> 00:37:13,991 The two of you are making a very serious mistake today... 643 00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:16,659 the likes of which have not been seen since the Mexican Indians... 644 00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:21,364 sold Manhattan to George Washington for an up-skirt photo of Betsy Ross. 645 00:37:27,111 --> 00:37:28,874 - What's up? - What's up, dude? 646 00:37:30,014 --> 00:37:32,778 Hey, man, why didn't you show at the audition? 647 00:37:32,850 --> 00:37:36,047 I wanted to. I did- 648 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,816 But after what Coach Beiste did to you- 649 00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:40,948 Do you know how everybody talks about you Glee guys? 650 00:37:41,025 --> 00:37:42,890 Oh, yeah. You get used to all that. 651 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,985 Finn, I'm- I'm the new guy. 652 00:37:45,062 --> 00:37:47,553 That means I'm already on the outside looking in. 653 00:37:47,632 --> 00:37:49,793 I don't want to start off three touchdowns behind. 654 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:52,964 I gotta go. 655 00:37:53,037 --> 00:37:56,632 Coach Beiste makes us do 100 push-ups for every minute we're late, so- 656 00:37:59,043 --> 00:38:02,410 Yeah, you made the team. That's cool. Uh, what position? 657 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:03,970 Quarterback. 658 00:38:09,787 --> 00:38:11,982 Excuse me. Sunshine. Hi. 659 00:38:12,056 --> 00:38:15,321 I'd like to officially welcome you aboard and give you our fall rehearsal schedule. 660 00:38:15,393 --> 00:38:17,418 She won't be joining your Glee Club. 661 00:38:17,495 --> 00:38:21,090 - Oh, uh, are you her dad? - Her director. 662 00:38:21,165 --> 00:38:24,828 Dustin Goolsby, new coach of Vocal Adrenaline. 663 00:38:24,902 --> 00:38:29,168 Oh, and they gave me and my mom a condo and a green card. 664 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:30,935 How did you even find out about her? 665 00:38:31,008 --> 00:38:32,737 Hey, Will. I went ahead and made that call. 666 00:38:32,810 --> 00:38:34,368 Should have gone along with the poop cookies. 667 00:38:34,445 --> 00:38:36,709 I actually would have stayed here, but... 668 00:38:36,781 --> 00:38:39,341 I think Rachel would have made my life a living hell. 669 00:38:39,417 --> 00:38:42,215 I just didn't trust her after she sent me to a crack house. 670 00:38:42,286 --> 00:38:43,514 Not cool. 671 00:38:43,587 --> 00:38:45,851 It was nice to meet you. 672 00:39:04,809 --> 00:39:06,470 What did they say? 673 00:39:06,544 --> 00:39:09,775 I talked 'em out of giving you a "code red." 674 00:39:09,847 --> 00:39:12,782 They were pissed, and they had the right to be. 675 00:39:12,850 --> 00:39:14,613 What you did was bad, Rachel. 676 00:39:14,685 --> 00:39:17,051 We could've used Sunshine to beat Vocal Adrenaline... 677 00:39:17,121 --> 00:39:19,817 and now they're just that much stronger. 678 00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:21,289 - Just do it already. - What? 679 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:22,826 Break up with me. 680 00:39:22,893 --> 00:39:25,225 We both knew it was just a matter of time. 681 00:39:25,296 --> 00:39:28,390 I think you're forgetting I'm not the quarterback anymore. 682 00:39:28,466 --> 00:39:31,128 I'm just another Glee loser now. 683 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:34,035 Fact is you should be breaking up with me. 684 00:39:37,508 --> 00:39:39,305 I'll never break up with you. 685 00:39:42,079 --> 00:39:43,774 Me neither. 686 00:39:52,656 --> 00:39:55,250 I did it for the team, you know. 687 00:39:55,326 --> 00:39:57,988 I just- I- I love everybody so much. 688 00:39:58,062 --> 00:40:00,360 I didn't want anyone else coming in and interfering. 689 00:40:00,431 --> 00:40:02,922 You gotta stop saying that, Rachel. 690 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,800 I care about you and everything, but you gotta admit the truth. 691 00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:09,936 You didn't do this because you love Glee Club. 692 00:40:10,007 --> 00:40:12,373 You did it because you love yourself more. 693 00:40:13,577 --> 00:40:14,805 Okay. 694 00:40:14,879 --> 00:40:17,211 I didn't want anyone else hogging my spotlight. 695 00:40:17,281 --> 00:40:20,250 Okay. I love it too much to let it go that easy. 696 00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:26,155 Do you think that they'll ever forgive me? 697 00:40:26,223 --> 00:40:27,815 They'll come around. 698 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,726 I think apologizing would be a good start. 699 00:40:36,634 --> 00:40:38,329 Where you going? 700 00:40:38,402 --> 00:40:40,461 The auditorium. 701 00:40:40,538 --> 00:40:42,472 I just need some alone time first. 702 00:40:45,643 --> 00:40:50,376 # Kiss today good-bye # 703 00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:57,820 # The sweetness and the sorrow # 704 00:40:59,323 --> 00:41:01,018 # Wish me luck # 705 00:41:01,091 --> 00:41:08,827 # The same to you # 706 00:41:09,667 --> 00:41:12,830 # But I can't regret # 707 00:41:12,903 --> 00:41:16,168 # What I did for love # 708 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:22,577 # What I did for love # 709 00:41:23,581 --> 00:41:29,247 # Look, my eyes are dry # 710 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:35,281 # The gift was ours to borrow # 711 00:41:36,527 --> 00:41:46,198 # It's as if we always knew # 712 00:41:46,270 --> 00:41:49,068 # And I won't forget # 713 00:41:49,139 --> 00:41:52,267 # What I did for love # 714 00:41:52,343 --> 00:41:59,044 # What I did for love # 715 00:41:59,116 --> 00:42:03,246 # Gone # 716 00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:09,725 # Love is never gone # 717 00:42:09,793 --> 00:42:16,392 # As we travel on # 718 00:42:16,467 --> 00:42:22,770 # Love's what we'll remember # 719 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:28,938 # Kiss today good-bye # 720 00:42:29,013 --> 00:42:35,077 # And point me toward tomorrow # 721 00:42:35,152 --> 00:42:38,644 # We did what we had # 722 00:42:38,722 --> 00:42:43,386 # To do # 723 00:42:43,460 --> 00:42:45,587 # Whoa # 724 00:42:45,663 --> 00:42:48,928 # Won't forget Can't regret # 725 00:42:48,999 --> 00:42:56,371 # What I did for love # 726 00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:02,401 # What I did for love # 727 00:43:03,180 --> 00:43:07,674 # What I did for # 728 00:43:08,285 --> 00:43:16,021 # Love ## 729 00:43:58,068 --> 00:43:59,057 ENGLISH - US - SDH