1
00:00:00,481 --> 00:00:03,313
So here's what you missed on Glee:
Emma had a crush on Will,
2
00:00:03,381 --> 00:00:05,115
but Will was married.
Then Will had a crush on Emma,
3
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,201
so he got a divorce
and he kissed her,
4
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:08,702
- but now she's dating some dude named Carl.
- He's my dentist.
5
00:00:08,769 --> 00:00:09,987
It's a total bummer.
6
00:00:10,071 --> 00:00:11,071
Tina told Artie
to take a hike...
7
00:00:11,122 --> 00:00:12,539
You're a terrible
boyfriend.
8
00:00:12,607 --> 00:00:13,957
...and then she got the hots
for Mike Chang,
9
00:00:13,975 --> 00:00:15,419
and now he's obsessed
with getting her back.
10
00:00:15,443 --> 00:00:17,161
I want abs.
So much drama!
11
00:00:17,245 --> 00:00:18,278
And that's
what you missed on Glee.
12
00:00:20,632 --> 00:00:23,467
(Bell ringing)
All right, who can tell me
13
00:00:23,551 --> 00:00:24,568
who Christopher Cross is?
14
00:00:24,636 --> 00:00:25,803
He discovered America.
15
00:00:27,138 --> 00:00:28,555
Close.
16
00:00:28,623 --> 00:00:30,624
He did write an iconic
chart topper: "Sailing."
17
00:00:30,675 --> 00:00:32,559
I have a bad feeling
about this lesson.
18
00:00:32,627 --> 00:00:34,244
Never heard of him,
don't want to hear about him.
19
00:00:34,312 --> 00:00:35,646
Now some people think
of the term
20
00:00:35,730 --> 00:00:37,164
"Easy Listening" as a bad thing.
21
00:00:37,232 --> 00:00:39,316
But I'm going to let this music
speak for itself.
22
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,518
You guys love Lady Gaga
and the Rolling Stones...
23
00:00:41,603 --> 00:00:44,238
and you guys are really good
about putting it all out there.
24
00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:49,109
But really good music can also
be controlled, and restrained.
25
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,661
It doesn't have to
attack an audience,
26
00:00:50,745 --> 00:00:52,746
it can let them
come to you.
27
00:00:53,395 --> 00:00:54,663
FINN:
How could you get caught
28
00:00:54,730 --> 00:00:55,831
between the moon
and New York City?
29
00:00:55,898 --> 00:00:56,782
They're like
a hundred miles apart.
30
00:00:56,866 --> 00:00:58,867
Mr. Shue?
If I may.
31
00:00:58,918 --> 00:01:00,902
I think I speak
for all of us when I say
32
00:01:00,953 --> 00:01:04,206
it's not that we don't love
the idea of spending a week
33
00:01:04,257 --> 00:01:05,840
on this silky smooth
Adult Contemporary,
34
00:01:05,892 --> 00:01:07,976
it's just that, as teens,
this isn't the easiest music
35
00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,227
for us to relate to.
36
00:01:09,312 --> 00:01:11,430
However, there is a burgeoning
Facebook campaign
37
00:01:11,497 --> 00:01:14,849
that has swelled
to over five members.
38
00:01:14,901 --> 00:01:16,785
The ardent demand:
That this week,
39
00:01:16,852 --> 00:01:18,537
at the fall homecoming assembly,
40
00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:19,821
the McKinley High School
Glee Club
41
00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:22,374
performs a number by...
Wait for it...
42
00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:24,826
Ms. Britney Spears.
43
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:26,995
Spears, Spears, yeah.
44
00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,547
(All agreeing)
45
00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:30,865
Sorry, Kurt,
Kurt, sorry.
46
00:01:30,917 --> 00:01:34,302
No, no, no. I don't think she's
a very good role model.
47
00:01:34,370 --> 00:01:36,471
But, Mr. Shue, we kind
of grew of up with her.
48
00:01:36,539 --> 00:01:38,256
She's literally why I wanted
to become a peormer.
49
00:01:38,341 --> 00:01:39,724
I don't want to do Britney.
50
00:01:39,809 --> 00:01:41,259
Why no Britney, Brittany?
51
00:01:41,344 --> 00:01:42,727
Because my name is also
Brittany Spears.
52
00:01:44,397 --> 00:01:45,931
- What?!
- What the hell is she talking about?
53
00:01:46,015 --> 00:01:48,433
My middle name is Susan,
my last name is Pierce.
54
00:01:48,518 --> 00:01:50,235
That makes me
Brittany S. Pierce.
55
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,937
"Brittany Spierce."
56
00:01:52,004 --> 00:01:54,539
I've lived my entire life
in Britney Spear's shadow.
57
00:01:54,607 --> 00:01:56,441
I will never be as
talented or as famous.
58
00:01:56,526 --> 00:01:58,944
I hope you'll all respect
that I want Glee Club
59
00:01:59,011 --> 00:02:01,896
to remain a place where I,
Brittany S. Pierce,
60
00:02:01,948 --> 00:02:03,565
can escape the torment
of Britney Spears.
61
00:02:05,117 --> 00:02:08,403
Well, there you have it, guys.
62
00:02:08,454 --> 00:02:11,239
It's been decided.
No Britney. Sorry.
63
00:02:11,290 --> 00:02:13,124
Thanks, Britt. Thanks a lot.
64
00:02:13,209 --> 00:02:14,676
Leave Brittany alone.
65
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,928
Thank you for
understanding.
66
00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:18,380
It's been a hard road.
67
00:02:19,204 --> 00:02:21,516
- Um, can we move on?
- Yes.
68
00:02:21,584 --> 00:02:24,422
Let's talk about Michael Bolton.
69
00:02:24,620 --> 00:02:29,090
Sync by YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
70
00:02:29,141 --> 00:02:31,259
I know that Britney's had
some issues in the past,
71
00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:32,861
but I actually think
it's quite admirable
72
00:02:32,928 --> 00:02:34,279
the way she's gotten
her life back together.
73
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:35,614
I mean, hasn't
she had, what, like,
74
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,923
three number-one hits
in the past two years?
75
00:02:37,947 --> 00:02:40,402
She's a single mom
raising two kids.
76
00:02:40,453 --> 00:02:42,988
I think she's the perfect symbol
for the possibility of rebirth.
77
00:02:43,072 --> 00:02:44,823
I can't...
78
00:02:44,907 --> 00:02:47,576
See, that's your problem, Will.
You're too uptight.
79
00:02:47,627 --> 00:02:49,444
- Oh, you're calling me uptight?
- Mm-hmm.
80
00:02:49,495 --> 00:02:51,446
The woman who buys hand
sanitizer by the barrel?
81
00:02:51,497 --> 00:02:54,065
I admit I have had
some control issues in the past,
82
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,967
but Carl's been helping me
with all of that.
83
00:02:56,052 --> 00:02:57,636
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
84
00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:58,887
Wow. Um, like how?
85
00:02:58,954 --> 00:03:00,422
Um, so, the other day,
he made me buy
86
00:03:00,473 --> 00:03:04,226
the green grapes and the red
grapes at the market.
87
00:03:04,293 --> 00:03:05,927
and then we just mixed them
together in a bowl
88
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:08,313
and we just ate them.
It was madness. Sheer madness.
89
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,347
Wow.
90
00:03:09,432 --> 00:03:11,900
You know what, that's fine.
91
00:03:11,968 --> 00:03:13,468
Make fun all you want,
but it's a start,
92
00:03:13,519 --> 00:03:15,370
and I am incredibly
grateful for it.
93
00:03:15,438 --> 00:03:17,439
Hey, now.
Am I interrupting?
94
00:03:17,506 --> 00:03:19,324
Carl, no. Hi.
95
00:03:19,392 --> 00:03:20,875
What are you doing here?
96
00:03:20,943 --> 00:03:23,595
I thought I'd surprise you
and take you to lunch.
97
00:03:23,663 --> 00:03:25,614
Oh, I love that look
of instant panic
98
00:03:25,665 --> 00:03:27,115
every time I try
to change your routine.
99
00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:28,867
Adorable.
100
00:03:28,951 --> 00:03:32,203
And you must be Will.
101
00:03:32,288 --> 00:03:33,872
Emma told me you're
the cutest guy in school.
102
00:03:33,956 --> 00:03:35,790
Will, you grind your teeth?
103
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,542
(Cell phone buzzing)
I... I don't think so.
104
00:03:37,627 --> 00:03:39,394
Damn it.
105
00:03:39,462 --> 00:03:40,645
What? What's wrong?
106
00:03:40,713 --> 00:03:41,880
Another teenager
needs a root canal.
107
00:03:41,948 --> 00:03:43,348
I swear, not one student
in this school
108
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,467
is going to have their teeth
by the time they're thirty.
109
00:03:45,534 --> 00:03:46,834
Oh, the sugar
kids eat today...
110
00:03:46,886 --> 00:03:48,603
Carl has been trying
to get the school board
111
00:03:48,671 --> 00:03:50,338
to let him come and do a
seminar on good dental hygiene,
112
00:03:50,389 --> 00:03:52,540
but they've been dragging
their feet.
113
00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:57,579
- Why don't you come talk to Glee Club?
- Well, that would be a dream, Will.
114
00:03:57,647 --> 00:03:59,731
- Yeah.
- Yeah, Will, that would be amazing.
115
00:03:59,815 --> 00:04:02,233
I'm usually pretty tight
about our rehearsal schedule,
116
00:04:02,318 --> 00:04:05,570
but I think I can loosen
the reins a bit for Carl.
117
00:04:05,655 --> 00:04:08,707
- The kids can't sing without teeth, right?
- No.
118
00:04:08,791 --> 00:04:10,959
They'd be...
They wouldn't be singing.
119
00:04:11,026 --> 00:04:12,327
They'd be gumming.
120
00:04:12,378 --> 00:04:13,828
♪ Muh-muh-muh-muh... ♪
121
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,164
(Bell ringing)
122
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:17,248
Gimme this jacket!
123
00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:19,334
Hey, give me that back!
I earned that!
124
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:21,536
This jacket belongs to people
who are actually on the team.
125
00:04:21,587 --> 00:04:24,506
But you know what?
We're going to restyle it
126
00:04:24,557 --> 00:04:27,875
to represent the obvious duality
in your sexuality.
127
00:04:29,504 --> 00:04:31,089
Ooh...!
128
00:04:33,599 --> 00:04:35,483
- Oh, you're trying to swing at me?
- Swing, huh?
129
00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:36,735
Come on, swing at me.
130
00:04:36,819 --> 00:04:38,219
- Come on! Come on!
- Come on, let's go!
131
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:39,654
Sorry to interrupt.
132
00:04:39,722 --> 00:04:41,356
I'm actually glad you're here
to see this.
133
00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:43,525
Finn, I just wanted to apologize
134
00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:44,943
for getting you kicked off
the football team.
135
00:04:45,027 --> 00:04:47,028
I just hope there's
no hard feelings.
136
00:04:49,198 --> 00:04:50,415
So what are you guys
talking about?
137
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:51,916
- Dude, take him.
- This wheelchair kid
138
00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:54,169
is in the way, man. What if I
knock him over or something?
139
00:04:54,236 --> 00:04:55,954
There's something
not right about
140
00:04:56,022 --> 00:04:58,006
- hitting a kid in a wheelchair.
- You know, the only thing
141
00:04:58,073 --> 00:05:00,542
that's saving you right now
is my moral code.
142
00:05:00,593 --> 00:05:03,678
I don't hit crippled people.
But I'll be back.
143
00:05:03,746 --> 00:05:05,130
We're gonna be back.
144
00:05:05,214 --> 00:05:06,848
(Groans)
145
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,437
All right, so here's the deal.
146
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,189
You chew this little capsule.
Now if there's
147
00:05:14,256 --> 00:05:15,607
any plaque you missed,
148
00:05:15,675 --> 00:05:17,225
the dye will stick to it
and turn your teeth blue.
149
00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:19,728
Can I just say that you are the
hottest dentist I've ever seen?
150
00:05:19,779 --> 00:05:21,929
- I get that all the time.
- No, like, seriously,
151
00:05:21,981 --> 00:05:23,148
you can totally drill me
whenever...
152
00:05:23,232 --> 00:05:25,900
Santana. Okay,
let's stay focused.
153
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,535
Rock n' roll, Emms.
154
00:05:27,603 --> 00:05:29,287
And besides, this guy...
155
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,373
now this guy's pretty
easy on the eyes too, huh?
156
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,825
And you know what?
No matter how hard I tried,
157
00:05:33,909 --> 00:05:35,627
I bet I couldn't sing
and dance like him.
158
00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:37,445
Uh, probably not.
159
00:05:37,496 --> 00:05:40,131
All right, let's take a look
at those chompers, huh?
160
00:05:40,216 --> 00:05:41,716
Before we chew,
I would just like to alert
161
00:05:41,784 --> 00:05:43,301
Mr. Shue that there's
been a new addition
162
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,470
to the Britney Spears
Facebook campaign.
163
00:05:45,538 --> 00:05:47,121
Sorry.
The answer's still no.
164
00:05:47,173 --> 00:05:49,507
Capsules, guys.
165
00:05:49,592 --> 00:05:51,259
Yes, chew away.
Chew, chew.
166
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:03,405
(Gasps)
167
00:06:03,472 --> 00:06:05,240
Oh, my God!
168
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:07,242
What?
169
00:06:08,143 --> 00:06:09,644
Aw!
170
00:06:09,695 --> 00:06:11,346
I don't understand.
171
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,314
- I floss between classes.
- Well, sometimes it's genetics.
172
00:06:13,365 --> 00:06:15,283
ARTIE:
I think I might be better
173
00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:17,368
at brushing and flossing if I
could see myself in the mirror.
174
00:06:17,453 --> 00:06:18,453
There you go, blue tooth.
175
00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:19,671
BRITTANY:
I don't brush my teeth.
176
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,589
I rinse my mouth out
with soda after I eat.
177
00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:24,158
I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper
was a dentist.
178
00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:25,210
CARL:
I got this, Em.
179
00:06:25,294 --> 00:06:27,178
With some deep bleaching
or scaling,
180
00:06:27,263 --> 00:06:28,880
you'll be
as good as new.
181
00:06:28,964 --> 00:06:30,014
All right, open up.
182
00:06:30,099 --> 00:06:32,934
Nah, close.
183
00:06:34,136 --> 00:06:34,969
Close again.
184
00:06:37,990 --> 00:06:39,791
This room looks like the one
on that spaceship
185
00:06:39,859 --> 00:06:40,859
where I got probed.
186
00:06:40,926 --> 00:06:42,777
So, Brittany, you, uh,
187
00:06:42,845 --> 00:06:44,712
you have the the worst
teeth I've ever seen.
188
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,898
You have cavities in
every single tooth.
189
00:06:46,982 --> 00:06:49,016
This has got to be
some sort of record.
190
00:06:49,068 --> 00:06:50,518
Please don't pull all my teeth.
191
00:06:50,569 --> 00:06:53,020
My smile will look like
an adult baby but with boobs.
192
00:06:53,072 --> 00:06:54,656
All right, I'm going
to put you under
193
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:55,657
with a little general
anesthesia.
194
00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:56,858
You won't feel a thing.
195
00:06:56,909 --> 00:06:58,109
Like roofies?
196
00:06:58,177 --> 00:07:01,045
Yeah, totally.
197
00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:04,082
I'll put on Pandora...
(Britney Spears' "I'm a Slave 4 You" playing)
198
00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:05,300
...and you just relax.
199
00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:06,384
(Gas hissing)
200
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,386
Oh, no, not Britney.
201
00:07:20,182 --> 00:07:24,185
♪ All you people look at me
like I'm a little girl. ♪
202
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,604
♪ Well, did you ever think
it'd be okay ♪
203
00:07:26,689 --> 00:07:29,023
♪ for me to step into
this world? ♪
204
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:33,778
♪ Always saying little girl
don't step into the club. ♪
205
00:07:33,863 --> 00:07:35,563
♪ Well, I'm just trying
to find out why, ♪
206
00:07:35,614 --> 00:07:36,664
♪ 'cause dancing's
what I love. ♪
207
00:07:36,732 --> 00:07:37,999
♪ Now watch me. ♪
208
00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:40,001
♪ Get it, get it, get it,
get it, ooh... ♪
209
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,903
♪ Get it, get it,
do you like it? ♪
210
00:07:41,954 --> 00:07:44,189
♪ Get it, get it, get it,
get it... ♪
211
00:07:44,273 --> 00:07:45,673
♪ It just feels good. ♪
212
00:07:45,724 --> 00:07:50,061
♪ I'm a slave for you. ♪
213
00:07:50,145 --> 00:07:52,730
♪ I cannot help it. ♪
214
00:07:52,815 --> 00:07:54,449
♪ I cannot control it. ♪
215
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:58,953
♪ I'm a slave for you. ♪
216
00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:01,022
♪ I won't deny it. ♪
217
00:08:01,073 --> 00:08:03,408
♪ I'm not trying to hide it. ♪
218
00:08:03,492 --> 00:08:05,410
♪ I know I may
come off quiet, ♪
219
00:08:05,494 --> 00:08:08,029
♪ I may come off shy. ♪
220
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,331
♪ But I feel like talking,
feel like dancing ♪
221
00:08:10,382 --> 00:08:12,033
♪ when I see this guy. ♪
222
00:08:12,084 --> 00:08:14,452
♪ What's practical
is logical. ♪
223
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,871
♪ What the hell, who cares? ♪
224
00:08:16,922 --> 00:08:18,673
♪ All I know is I'm so happy ♪
225
00:08:18,741 --> 00:08:20,775
♪ when you're dancing there. ♪
226
00:08:20,842 --> 00:08:25,146
♪ Baby, don't you wanna
dance upon me? ♪
227
00:08:25,197 --> 00:08:27,315
♪ I just want to dance
next to you. ♪
228
00:08:27,366 --> 00:08:30,401
♪ At another time and place. ♪
229
00:08:30,486 --> 00:08:35,823
♪ Oh, baby, don't you wanna dance upon me? ♪
♪ Are you ready? ♪
230
00:08:35,875 --> 00:08:38,576
♪ Leaving behind my name and date. ♪
♪ Let's go. ♪
231
00:08:38,661 --> 00:08:40,695
♪ Get it, get it, get it,
get it, ooh... ♪
232
00:08:40,746 --> 00:08:42,380
♪ Get it, get it, whoa... ♪
233
00:08:42,464 --> 00:08:44,749
♪ Get it, get it, get it,
get it... ♪
234
00:08:44,833 --> 00:08:45,967
♪ Oh... ♪
235
00:08:46,034 --> 00:08:47,719
(panting)
236
00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:51,222
♪ I'm a slave for you. ♪
♪ Here we go now. ♪
237
00:08:51,307 --> 00:08:52,423
♪ Here we go now. ♪
238
00:08:52,508 --> 00:08:54,375
♪ I cannot help it. ♪
239
00:08:54,426 --> 00:08:56,461
♪ I cannot control it. ♪
240
00:08:56,528 --> 00:08:59,514
♪ I'm a slave for you. ♪
241
00:08:59,565 --> 00:09:00,848
♪ Here we go. ♪
242
00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:02,233
♪ I won't deny it. ♪
243
00:09:02,318 --> 00:09:04,051
♪ I'm not trying to hide it. ♪
244
00:09:04,103 --> 00:09:06,771
♪ Yeah, like that. ♪
245
00:09:06,855 --> 00:09:07,872
Brittany?
246
00:09:07,940 --> 00:09:09,407
Brittany, wake up.
247
00:09:09,491 --> 00:09:11,292
All right, you're going
to feel a little nauseous.
248
00:09:12,894 --> 00:09:14,646
I petted a snake.
249
00:09:14,713 --> 00:09:16,364
Mm. Rock on.
250
00:09:16,415 --> 00:09:18,399
I'm going to have
to see you tomorrow.
251
00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:21,686
You have 68 cavities.
I couldn't get 'em all today.
252
00:09:21,754 --> 00:09:24,455
Can I have a blue toothbrush?
253
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:26,925
- I'll give you a hundred toothbrushes.
- Okay.
254
00:09:26,992 --> 00:09:29,093
Are you a cat?
255
00:09:29,178 --> 00:09:30,495
(Bell ringing)
No.
256
00:09:30,562 --> 00:09:31,796
You all right?
257
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,381
You seem a little down.
258
00:09:33,432 --> 00:09:35,350
Didn't you like the
banana bread I baked you?
259
00:09:35,417 --> 00:09:37,185
Yeah, it was awesome.
260
00:09:37,252 --> 00:09:39,270
It's just...
How do you feel about me
261
00:09:39,355 --> 00:09:41,556
not being on the
football team anymore?
262
00:09:41,607 --> 00:09:43,308
I'm actually kind
of happy about it.
263
00:09:43,392 --> 00:09:45,777
Then I don't have to fantasize
about what song I'd sing
264
00:09:45,861 --> 00:09:47,612
at your bedside if
you were in a coma.
265
00:09:47,696 --> 00:09:49,731
Yeah.
266
00:09:49,782 --> 00:09:51,699
I'm just so not cool
now, you know.
267
00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:53,284
Well, it's just less
of a chance
268
00:09:53,319 --> 00:09:54,935
of you running off
with some cheerleader.
269
00:09:54,987 --> 00:09:57,205
Wait, so you want me
to feel bad about myself?
270
00:09:57,272 --> 00:09:58,706
No, I just...
271
00:09:58,774 --> 00:10:00,458
I want to be the only thing
that makes you feel good.
272
00:10:02,161 --> 00:10:03,378
I'm just trying to be honest.
273
00:10:03,445 --> 00:10:05,496
Hey, dwarf, anyone ever tell you
274
00:10:05,581 --> 00:10:07,298
that you dress like
one of the bait girls
275
00:10:07,383 --> 00:10:09,116
- on To Catch a Predator?
- Also, I'm more talented than you.
276
00:10:10,552 --> 00:10:12,086
You could have defended me.
277
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:13,721
Well, Santana has a point.
278
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,758
Just trying to be honest.
279
00:10:17,893 --> 00:10:19,744
(Bell ringing)
280
00:10:22,148 --> 00:10:25,356
So, Santana, I'm looking
at your charts and your X-rays.
281
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,058
Your teeth are perfect.
282
00:10:27,142 --> 00:10:28,209
That's right.
283
00:10:28,277 --> 00:10:29,777
Well, I can't just
put you under.
284
00:10:29,844 --> 00:10:32,413
Anesthesia isn't something
to joke about. It's serious.
285
00:10:32,481 --> 00:10:34,599
Okay, listen, my dad's a doctor.
286
00:10:34,666 --> 00:10:36,901
And not a "tooth doctor,"
a real one.
287
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,236
He, like, went
to college or something.
288
00:10:38,303 --> 00:10:40,204
Which means I have a killer
health care plan
289
00:10:40,289 --> 00:10:41,739
that pretty much pays
for everything.
290
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:45,409
So get up in my grill,
'cause Britts and I wants
291
00:10:45,494 --> 00:10:46,661
to get our anesthesia on.
292
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,696
It's totally cool.
293
00:10:48,747 --> 00:10:50,364
Hmm, okay, I guess
I can give you
294
00:10:50,415 --> 00:10:51,666
a super strong bleaching.
295
00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:53,968
- Hmm.
- Can I turn the radio on?
296
00:10:54,035 --> 00:10:55,820
BOTH:
We've got it covered.
297
00:10:55,887 --> 00:10:57,505
(Britney Spears' and Madonna's
"Me Against the Music" plays)
298
00:10:57,556 --> 00:11:01,092
♪ All my people in the crowd,
grab a partner, take it down. ♪
299
00:11:01,176 --> 00:11:03,144
♪ It's me against the music,
uh-huh. ♪
300
00:11:03,211 --> 00:11:04,679
♪ It's just me. ♪
♪ And me. ♪
301
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:06,013
♪ Yeah. ♪
302
00:11:06,064 --> 00:11:07,732
♪ Come on. ♪
♪ Huh! Ah! ♪
303
00:11:09,518 --> 00:11:10,351
♪ Hey, Brittany. ♪
304
00:11:11,853 --> 00:11:13,020
♪ Are you ready? ♪
305
00:11:13,071 --> 00:11:15,523
♪ Uh-huh. ♪
306
00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:18,492
♪ Are you? ♪
♪ Ooh... No one cares. ♪
307
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:19,810
♪ It's flipping my hair. ♪
308
00:11:19,878 --> 00:11:21,162
♪ It's pulling my waist. ♪
309
00:11:21,229 --> 00:11:22,863
♪ To hell with stares. ♪
310
00:11:22,914 --> 00:11:26,751
♪ The sweat is dripping all over
my face and no one's there. ♪
311
00:11:26,835 --> 00:11:28,919
♪ I'm the only one dancing up
in this place. ♪
312
00:11:29,004 --> 00:11:30,571
♪ It's just me,
tonight I'm here. ♪
313
00:11:30,622 --> 00:11:33,007
♪ Feel the beat of the drum,
gotta get with that bass. ♪
314
00:11:33,074 --> 00:11:34,759
♪ I'm up against the speaker
trying to take on the music. ♪
315
00:11:34,843 --> 00:11:36,277
♪ It's like a competition,
me against the beat. ♪
316
00:11:36,345 --> 00:11:37,979
♪ I want to get in the zone. ♪
317
00:11:38,046 --> 00:11:39,847
♪ I want to get in the zone,
I want to get in the zone. ♪
318
00:11:39,914 --> 00:11:41,382
♪ If you really want to battle, ♪
319
00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:42,750
♪ saddle up
and get your rhythm. ♪
320
00:11:42,801 --> 00:11:44,352
♪ Trying to hit it chic-a-tah
in the middle. ♪
321
00:11:44,419 --> 00:11:46,354
♪ I'm a take a you on,
I'm a take a you on. ♪
322
00:11:46,421 --> 00:11:49,106
♪ I'm a take a you on. ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey... ♪
323
00:11:49,191 --> 00:11:53,377
♪ All my people on the floor, let me see you dance. ♪
♪ Let me see ya. ♪
324
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:57,048
♪ All my people wanting more, let me see you dance. ♪
♪ I wanna see ya. ♪
325
00:11:57,132 --> 00:11:59,667
♪ All my people round and round,
let me see you dance. ♪
326
00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:01,719
♪ Let me see ya. ♪
327
00:12:01,803 --> 00:12:04,138
♪ All my people in the crowd,
let me see you dance. ♪
328
00:12:04,205 --> 00:12:05,139
♪ I wanna see ya. ♪
329
00:12:05,206 --> 00:12:07,091
♪ Get on the floor. ♪
330
00:12:07,175 --> 00:12:09,010
♪ Baby, lose control, yeah. ♪
331
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:12,813
♪ Just work your body and let it go. ♪
♪ Let it go. ♪
332
00:12:12,881 --> 00:12:17,051
♪ If you wanna party,
just grab somebody. ♪
333
00:12:17,102 --> 00:12:21,670
♪ Hey, Brittany, we can dance
all night long. ♪
334
00:12:21,693 --> 00:12:26,707
♪ Hey, Brittany, you say you
want to lose control. ♪
335
00:12:26,728 --> 00:12:29,063
♪ Come over here,
I got something to show ya. ♪
336
00:12:29,114 --> 00:12:34,752
♪ Sexy lady, I'd rather see you
bare your soul. ♪
337
00:12:34,836 --> 00:12:37,121
♪ Yeah, you think you're so hot,
better show me what you got. ♪
338
00:12:37,205 --> 00:12:40,958
♪ All my people in the crowd,
let me see you dance. ♪
339
00:12:41,043 --> 00:12:42,877
♪ Come on, Brittany,
lose control. ♪
340
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:45,096
♪ Watch you take it down. ♪
♪ Get down. ♪
341
00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:49,133
♪ Get on the floor,
baby, lose control. ♪
342
00:12:49,217 --> 00:12:52,887
♪ Just work your body
and let it go. ♪
343
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:58,142
♪ If you want to party,
just grab somebody. ♪
344
00:12:58,226 --> 00:13:01,428
♪ Hey, Brittany, we can dance
all night long. ♪
345
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,598
♪ All my people on the floor, say let me see you dance. ♪
♪ I wanna see ya. ♪
346
00:13:04,649 --> 00:13:07,785
♪ All my people in the crowd,
say let me see you dance. ♪
347
00:13:07,869 --> 00:13:09,286
♪ I wanna see ya. ♪
348
00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:12,790
♪ All my people in the crowd,
let me see you dance. ♪
349
00:13:12,874 --> 00:13:14,708
♪ Come on, Brittany,
lose control. ♪
350
00:13:14,776 --> 00:13:16,660
♪ Watch you take it down. ♪
351
00:13:17,629 --> 00:13:19,446
You're really hot.
352
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:20,748
You're sweet.
353
00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:22,249
And your breast smells
really good.
354
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,634
So does yours,
355
00:13:23,718 --> 00:13:25,052
and you know why?
356
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,253
Because this is a fantasy.
357
00:13:26,304 --> 00:13:27,388
Wow.
358
00:13:29,107 --> 00:13:31,509
(Both giggling)
(Bell rings)
359
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:34,294
...making Christopher Cross
a Golden Globe, Oscar,
360
00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:36,564
and five-time
Grammy Award winner.
361
00:13:36,631 --> 00:13:39,150
- Brittany.
- I would just like to say that from now on,
362
00:13:39,234 --> 00:13:41,802
I demand to have every
solo in Glee Club.
363
00:13:41,870 --> 00:13:43,771
- What?
- When I had my teeth cleaned,
364
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:45,940
I had the most amazing
Britney Spears fantasy.
365
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:48,008
I sang and danced better
than her.
366
00:13:48,076 --> 00:13:50,528
Now I realize what a powerful
woman I truly am.
367
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:53,297
I went with her, and I had
a Britney fantasy, too.
368
00:13:53,365 --> 00:13:55,784
Although now that I'm thinking
about it, I'm not really sure
369
00:13:55,807 --> 00:13:57,618
how our fantasies combined.
370
00:13:57,669 --> 00:13:58,769
SANTANA: That doesn't
make any sense.
371
00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,371
See, Mr. Shue? I told you.
372
00:14:00,455 --> 00:14:03,457
Britney Spears busted our Brit
out of her everyday, fragmented
373
00:14:03,525 --> 00:14:05,092
haze of confusion
and gave her
374
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,660
the confidence
to step up and perform.
375
00:14:06,711 --> 00:14:08,762
I'm more talented
than all of you.
376
00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:10,014
I see that clearly now.
377
00:14:10,098 --> 00:14:11,549
It's Brittany, bitch.
378
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:14,802
Guys, we're not doing
Britney Spears, and that's that.
379
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:16,770
Mr. Shue, you're letting your
own personal issues
380
00:14:16,838 --> 00:14:18,272
get in the way of
something that
381
00:14:18,339 --> 00:14:21,392
we are all telling you
we really want to do.
382
00:14:21,476 --> 00:14:24,344
I mean, this club regularly pays
tribute to pop culture,
383
00:14:24,396 --> 00:14:26,346
and Britney Spears
is pop culture!
384
00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:27,698
To suggest otherwise
is heretical!
385
00:14:27,782 --> 00:14:29,316
Kurt, I'm done talking
about this!
386
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:32,119
Geez! Let loose a little,
would you?!
387
00:14:32,187 --> 00:14:34,655
Stop being so frickin' uptight
all the time!
388
00:14:36,541 --> 00:14:37,408
Kurt...
389
00:14:40,745 --> 00:14:42,129
...I'll see you in
the Principal's office.
390
00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:42,997
GIRL:
Uh-oh...
391
00:14:46,751 --> 00:14:48,636
(Bell rings)
392
00:14:48,703 --> 00:14:51,388
WILL and CARL:
Ah...
393
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,736
Ah...
♪ Ah... ♪
394
00:14:53,758 --> 00:14:55,476
(Harmonizing):
♪ Ah... ♪
395
00:14:55,543 --> 00:14:57,094
All right.
Evidence of some grinding.
396
00:14:57,179 --> 00:14:59,063
I'll set you up
with a night guard.
397
00:14:59,147 --> 00:15:00,314
Fantastic.
398
00:15:00,381 --> 00:15:01,882
Happy to do it.
399
00:15:01,933 --> 00:15:04,752
- All right, can we stop this right now?
- What?
400
00:15:04,819 --> 00:15:07,354
Well, this is clearly awkward
for the two of us.
401
00:15:07,405 --> 00:15:12,109
All right, let's talk it out,
bro-to-bro.
402
00:15:12,194 --> 00:15:14,745
Fine. Bro.
403
00:15:14,829 --> 00:15:17,698
I still have feelings for Emma.
Strong feelings.
404
00:15:17,766 --> 00:15:19,066
So do I.
405
00:15:19,117 --> 00:15:20,734
The difference is
she chose me.
406
00:15:20,785 --> 00:15:23,204
I don't know what's
gonna happen with Emma and I,
407
00:15:23,271 --> 00:15:25,372
but I do ask is that you back
off until we figure it out.
408
00:15:25,423 --> 00:15:28,709
What if I tell you that I don't
think I could do that?
409
00:15:28,777 --> 00:15:29,827
Rinse.
410
00:15:31,429 --> 00:15:33,914
Will, put yourself in my shoes.
411
00:15:33,965 --> 00:15:35,799
I mean, say it doesn't work out
412
00:15:35,884 --> 00:15:39,053
between the two of us,
and she chooses to go back to you.
413
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:41,572
How would you feel if I continue
to come after her?
414
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,191
Okay, fine.
I'll back off.
415
00:15:44,259 --> 00:15:47,361
But the second she starts
leaning my way, I am back in.
416
00:15:47,428 --> 00:15:48,312
Deal?
417
00:15:48,396 --> 00:15:50,281
Deal. Now open back up.
418
00:15:50,365 --> 00:15:51,699
I want to continue
this examination.
419
00:15:53,618 --> 00:15:55,119
- Ah...
- No more "Ah's".
420
00:15:55,203 --> 00:15:56,453
- Oh.
- You know what?
421
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:58,155
I got just the thing for you.
422
00:16:01,943 --> 00:16:04,411
Candy?
423
00:16:04,479 --> 00:16:05,796
You gotta loosen up
and bang, bro.
424
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,114
I mean, you're grinding
425
00:16:07,165 --> 00:16:08,916
those beautiful little teeth
down to nubs.
426
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:10,617
You know, I honestly think
that's why you
427
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:12,052
and Emma
didn't work out.
428
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,454
There's not an impulsive bone
between the two of you.
429
00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:15,622
And you think eating candy is
gonna change that?
430
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:16,957
You gotta get ridiculous, bro.
431
00:16:17,025 --> 00:16:18,259
You gotta
just start doing
432
00:16:18,326 --> 00:16:19,560
things that feel good
for no good reason.
433
00:16:19,628 --> 00:16:22,012
You know, I used
to get up at the same time
434
00:16:22,097 --> 00:16:23,797
ever day and have
the same eggs.
435
00:16:23,848 --> 00:16:25,182
Then, one day, I'm driving
the hybrid to work,
436
00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:26,466
I pass
a Chevy dealership.
437
00:16:26,518 --> 00:16:28,435
The new Corvettes had
just come in, so I stopped
438
00:16:28,486 --> 00:16:30,688
right on the spot, I make
a U-turn and I buy one.
439
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:33,107
Now I take the top down,
take Emma for a spin,
440
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,326
she doesn't even care
if her hair gets messed up.
441
00:16:35,410 --> 00:16:36,277
You follow me?
442
00:16:40,706 --> 00:16:41,915
Hey, Rachel.
443
00:16:41,983 --> 00:16:43,334
Hey, Mr. Shue.
444
00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:45,970
You all set? You need me to stay
with you or anything?
445
00:16:46,037 --> 00:16:48,255
No, I've been taking herbal
anti-anxiety pills and reading
446
00:16:48,323 --> 00:16:50,841
The Unauthorized Biography of
Britney Spears to stay calm.
447
00:16:50,925 --> 00:16:53,160
I look forward to the day
the paparazzi provokes me
448
00:16:53,211 --> 00:16:54,328
and I attack them.
449
00:16:54,379 --> 00:16:55,679
Are you okay?
450
00:16:55,747 --> 00:16:56,880
Did you have a cavity
or something?
451
00:16:56,965 --> 00:16:58,265
Is that candy?
452
00:16:58,333 --> 00:16:59,967
I'm fine.
453
00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:02,386
Good luck.
454
00:17:05,506 --> 00:17:07,558
(Sighs)
455
00:17:20,705 --> 00:17:22,106
(Bell ringing)
456
00:17:22,173 --> 00:17:25,125
(Britney Spears'
"Hit Me, Baby, One More Time" plays)
457
00:17:25,193 --> 00:17:27,694
♪ Oh, baby, baby... ♪
458
00:17:29,331 --> 00:17:31,382
♪ Oh, baby, baby... ♪
459
00:17:34,502 --> 00:17:36,703
♪ Oh, baby, baby, ♪
460
00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:40,090
♪ how was I supposed to know ♪
461
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:45,062
♪ that something wasn't
right? Yeah... ♪
462
00:17:45,146 --> 00:17:52,269
♪ Oh, baby, baby,
I shouldn't have let you go, ♪
463
00:17:52,337 --> 00:17:55,105
♪ and now you're out
of sight, yeah... ♪
464
00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:59,526
♪ Show me how you want it to be... ♪
465
00:17:59,577 --> 00:18:04,281
♪ Tell me, baby,
'cause I need to know now, ♪
466
00:18:04,366 --> 00:18:10,904
♪ just because my loneliness is
killing me, and I... ♪
467
00:18:10,955 --> 00:18:14,675
♪ I must confess
I still believe... ♪
468
00:18:14,742 --> 00:18:16,076
♪ Still believe... ♪
469
00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:19,930
♪ When I'm not with you,
I lose my mind. ♪
470
00:18:20,014 --> 00:18:23,083
♪ Give me a sign! ♪
471
00:18:23,134 --> 00:18:26,586
♪ Hit me, baby, one more time! ♪
472
00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:28,088
♪ Oh, baby, baby... ♪
473
00:18:30,408 --> 00:18:33,410
♪ Yeah, hey, oh, baby, baby... ♪
474
00:18:33,495 --> 00:18:36,663
♪ Yeah, hey, yeah... ♪
475
00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:38,632
♪ Oh, baby, baby, ♪
476
00:18:38,699 --> 00:18:44,054
♪ how was I supposed to know? ♪
477
00:18:46,808 --> 00:18:56,633
♪ Oh, pretty baby, I shouldn't
have let you go. ♪
478
00:18:56,701 --> 00:18:58,218
♪ I must confess ♪
479
00:18:58,269 --> 00:19:04,258
♪ that my loneliness is
killing me now. ♪
480
00:19:04,325 --> 00:19:08,045
♪ Don't you know
I still believe? ♪
481
00:19:08,129 --> 00:19:11,048
♪ When I'm not with you,
I lose my mind. ♪
482
00:19:11,132 --> 00:19:14,752
♪ Give me a sign! ♪
483
00:19:14,836 --> 00:19:18,255
♪ Hit me, baby, one more time! ♪
484
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,539
(Echoing):
Rachel?
485
00:19:19,591 --> 00:19:22,042
Rachel, wake up.
486
00:19:22,110 --> 00:19:24,228
You Glee kids are
impossible to work on.
487
00:19:24,312 --> 00:19:27,548
You're always moving around
when you're under.
488
00:19:27,615 --> 00:19:29,099
Is this real life?
489
00:19:44,891 --> 00:19:46,608
Hey, take my hoodie.
You look cold.
490
00:19:46,693 --> 00:19:47,776
It's okay, I'm...
491
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:49,611
Wait, you mean you don't
like my new look?
492
00:19:49,696 --> 00:19:51,280
Don't you think
it's a bit much?
493
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:53,365
I mean, I think
that guy just broke up
494
00:19:53,432 --> 00:19:55,484
with his girlfriend just so
he could stare at you.
495
00:19:55,568 --> 00:19:57,035
I'm just doing
what you told me.
496
00:19:57,103 --> 00:19:59,371
Besides, it's not like when
I went all sad clown hooker
497
00:19:59,438 --> 00:20:01,039
and put on that ridiculous
Grease cat suit.
498
00:20:01,107 --> 00:20:03,875
This is just like my regular look
with the volume turned up.
499
00:20:03,943 --> 00:20:05,294
Ooh, baby,
you can hit me
500
00:20:05,378 --> 00:20:06,628
as many times
as you want
501
00:20:06,713 --> 00:20:07,829
as long as you
got that on.
502
00:20:07,914 --> 00:20:11,717
How come all the gay guys
always get the hottest chicks?
503
00:20:11,784 --> 00:20:13,251
You see what I'm talking about?
504
00:20:13,303 --> 00:20:14,753
They're personifying you.
505
00:20:14,804 --> 00:20:16,221
Objectifying.
506
00:20:16,288 --> 00:20:18,724
Whatever! Just tell me
507
00:20:18,791 --> 00:20:20,892
why it's okay for you
to feel safer with me
508
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,260
not on the football team,
509
00:20:22,312 --> 00:20:24,462
but it's not okay for me
to feel safer with you
510
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:25,597
in your old
reindeer sweater?
511
00:20:25,648 --> 00:20:26,815
Look, I see your point.
512
00:20:26,899 --> 00:20:27,816
In order for
this relationship to work,
513
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:29,184
we can't control each other.
514
00:20:29,268 --> 00:20:32,804
So you have my blessing
to rejoin the football team...
515
00:20:32,855 --> 00:20:34,823
If you can.
516
00:20:34,907 --> 00:20:37,993
BRITTANY:
It looks like a Jewish cloud.
517
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:42,647
What do you want for her?
518
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,583
I'll give you anything.
I'll give you my house.
519
00:20:44,650 --> 00:20:46,618
I'll kill my parents
and I'll give you my house.
520
00:20:46,669 --> 00:20:48,537
(Finn groans)
521
00:20:48,621 --> 00:20:50,122
(Bell rings)
Wanky, wanky!
522
00:20:51,624 --> 00:20:54,543
I kinda liked your old car.
(Chuckles)
523
00:20:54,627 --> 00:20:56,678
That car was a metaphor for
everything that was wrong
524
00:20:56,763 --> 00:20:58,663
with my life, my fear of change.
525
00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:00,298
(Laughs)
526
00:21:00,350 --> 00:21:03,802
That dragging muffler was like
the chains of Marley's Ghost.
527
00:21:03,853 --> 00:21:08,840
(Sighs)
Now they're gone and I feel like a free man!
528
00:21:08,891 --> 00:21:10,692
By buying the same car as Carl?
529
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,228
His didn't have heated seats.
530
00:21:13,312 --> 00:21:15,864
Oh, come on, Emma,
I'm just doing everything
531
00:21:15,948 --> 00:21:17,315
you said I should do.
532
00:21:17,383 --> 00:21:21,830
I'm loosening up,
and I feel amazing!
533
00:21:22,934 --> 00:21:24,318
Let's take her for a spin.
534
00:21:24,385 --> 00:21:26,220
(Christopher Cross's
"Sailing" plays)
535
00:21:26,271 --> 00:21:27,822
Oh, this is my jam!
536
00:21:27,889 --> 00:21:30,224
♪ Well, it's not that
far to paradise, ♪
537
00:21:30,275 --> 00:21:34,662
♪ at least it's not for me. ♪
538
00:21:34,729 --> 00:21:38,899
♪ And if the wind is right,
we can sail away ♪
539
00:21:38,950 --> 00:21:40,084
♪ and find tranquility... ♪
540
00:21:40,168 --> 00:21:42,169
(Shrieks)
541
00:21:42,237 --> 00:21:44,071
Get out of the car!
542
00:21:44,122 --> 00:21:45,381
Watch this.
543
00:21:45,417 --> 00:21:46,684
I'm taking this back
to the dealer.
544
00:21:46,751 --> 00:21:48,548
Oh, hey, home wrecker!
545
00:21:48,571 --> 00:21:50,809
Do I have to remind you
that we are divorced?!
546
00:21:50,833 --> 00:21:53,330
I am reminded every month when
I get my spousal support check!
547
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:54,871
The one that I know
you can't send me
548
00:21:54,882 --> 00:21:57,477
if you're buying a car
that you can't afford!
549
00:21:58,229 --> 00:21:59,603
WILL:
Emma.
550
00:22:00,703 --> 00:22:03,140
You know what?
Actually...
551
00:22:03,191 --> 00:22:05,492
I think you should
keep this car.
552
00:22:05,577 --> 00:22:09,113
You should enjoy it, you know,
at least until they repossess it.
553
00:22:09,164 --> 00:22:11,782
But just don't buy any more
big-ticket items, okay?
554
00:22:11,833 --> 00:22:13,917
Why is that?
555
00:22:13,985 --> 00:22:16,370
Because someday you are going
to come to your senses, Will,
556
00:22:16,454 --> 00:22:19,039
and you're going to get over
that little Miss Crazypants,
557
00:22:19,124 --> 00:22:21,458
and you're going to come
back to the one woman
558
00:22:21,509 --> 00:22:23,493
who really knows
how to love you.
559
00:22:24,612 --> 00:22:28,165
And I just don't want you to have
blown all of our savings when you do.
560
00:22:36,174 --> 00:22:37,674
Damn!
561
00:22:40,361 --> 00:22:42,396
(Bell ringing)
562
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,697
SANTANA: Well, Rachel,
congratulations.
563
00:22:43,782 --> 00:22:45,449
Normally, you dress
like the fantasy
564
00:22:45,516 --> 00:22:47,184
of a perverted
Japanese businessman
565
00:22:47,235 --> 00:22:49,186
with a very dark,
specific fetish,
566
00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:51,021
but I actually dig this look.
567
00:22:51,072 --> 00:22:52,573
- Yay.
- Thank you.
568
00:22:52,657 --> 00:22:54,775
KURT: I think what Santana
is trying to say, Rachel,
569
00:22:54,843 --> 00:22:56,960
though I risk expulsion
by saying so,
570
00:22:57,028 --> 00:23:00,781
is that it seems Britney Spears
has really helped you blossom.
571
00:23:00,849 --> 00:23:02,365
That's all.
572
00:23:02,417 --> 00:23:05,002
WILL: Wait. Rachel,
is that true?
573
00:23:05,053 --> 00:23:07,421
I mean, you are sort of
dressing differently.
574
00:23:07,505 --> 00:23:08,972
ARTIE:
Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy...
575
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,208
- Hey, hey.
RACHEL: Look, all I know is that I had
576
00:23:11,259 --> 00:23:13,210
a very vivid Britney Spears
fantasy at the dentist,
577
00:23:13,261 --> 00:23:15,045
and since then,
it's made me feel free
578
00:23:15,096 --> 00:23:16,814
to get out of my own way.
579
00:23:16,881 --> 00:23:18,916
I think I've just
always been afraid
580
00:23:18,983 --> 00:23:20,350
to dress like a pretty girl
581
00:23:20,418 --> 00:23:22,486
because I've never really felt
like one before.
582
00:23:22,554 --> 00:23:24,488
Now I realize it's okay
to feel that way
583
00:23:24,555 --> 00:23:25,856
about yourself
every now and again.
584
00:23:25,907 --> 00:23:27,858
And maybe it's a good thing.
585
00:23:27,909 --> 00:23:31,245
It's such a good thing.
I can't believe it.
586
00:23:31,329 --> 00:23:32,663
William, a word.
587
00:23:34,065 --> 00:23:36,700
(Bell ringing)
588
00:23:36,768 --> 00:23:37,868
You have
got to be kidding me.
589
00:23:37,936 --> 00:23:40,838
I was headed to the library
computers late last night
590
00:23:40,905 --> 00:23:43,207
to score my Cheerios some
cheap tickets on one of those
591
00:23:43,258 --> 00:23:45,092
off-brand airlines with
shoddy safety records...
592
00:23:45,176 --> 00:23:47,261
you know,
to fly my JV squad,
593
00:23:47,345 --> 00:23:48,578
so if the plane did go down,
594
00:23:48,630 --> 00:23:50,080
well, it wouldn't be
that big of a deal.
595
00:23:50,131 --> 00:23:53,183
But then... Horror!
596
00:23:53,251 --> 00:23:54,968
JACOB (over computer):
Rachel, are you aware you've never
597
00:23:55,053 --> 00:23:56,386
been hotter
than you are right now
598
00:23:56,437 --> 00:23:57,771
- dressed as Britney Spears?
RACHEL: Thank you.
599
00:23:57,839 --> 00:23:59,807
JACOB: Can I put
some clothes on, please?
600
00:23:59,874 --> 00:24:01,241
No.
601
00:24:01,309 --> 00:24:03,477
I want you to feel the beads
of your own sweaty,
602
00:24:03,561 --> 00:24:06,313
depraved stank
dripping down your butt crack.
603
00:24:06,397 --> 00:24:08,849
Rachel Berry was dressing
like Britney Spears,
604
00:24:08,917 --> 00:24:10,419
- and I was titillated.
- Oh, dear God,
605
00:24:10,431 --> 00:24:12,186
please don't ever
say that word again.
606
00:24:12,198 --> 00:24:14,124
Can I go now, please?
607
00:24:14,147 --> 00:24:17,576
You're going to have to
turn around when I stand up.
608
00:24:17,588 --> 00:24:20,043
if you know what I mean.
609
00:24:20,984 --> 00:24:23,080
That is really gross, Sue,
but they're kids.
610
00:24:23,131 --> 00:24:24,648
Hormones.
611
00:24:24,716 --> 00:24:27,251
William, I realize you're
still mourning the loss
612
00:24:27,302 --> 00:24:29,636
of that bony redheaded
hominid you're in love with.
613
00:24:29,721 --> 00:24:30,954
I understand that.
614
00:24:31,005 --> 00:24:32,973
I also understand
that you bought
615
00:24:33,057 --> 00:24:34,875
a brand-new car
to impress her.
616
00:24:34,943 --> 00:24:36,793
You're flailing, William.
617
00:24:36,845 --> 00:24:38,962
Now, I'm secretly hoping
it's a midlife crisis,
618
00:24:39,013 --> 00:24:40,514
which means you're halfway
to an early death,
619
00:24:40,598 --> 00:24:43,183
affording me a blissful,
demented convalescence
620
00:24:43,251 --> 00:24:45,469
spent peeing on your grave.
621
00:24:45,537 --> 00:24:47,654
(Chuckles)
What's your point, Sue?
622
00:24:47,739 --> 00:24:49,907
Don't let your own recklessness
blind you to the fact
623
00:24:49,974 --> 00:24:51,758
that Britney Spears
is a genius
624
00:24:51,826 --> 00:24:54,111
pop-culture provocateur
and a gateway drug
625
00:24:54,162 --> 00:24:56,914
to every out-of-control
impulse ever created.
626
00:24:56,981 --> 00:24:59,533
This school is a powder keg
of sexual deviance, William,
627
00:24:59,617 --> 00:25:01,184
and in my office,
628
00:25:01,252 --> 00:25:04,705
I have a chair with a naked
butt sweat stain to prove it.
629
00:25:04,789 --> 00:25:06,240
I'm not kidding.
630
00:25:06,307 --> 00:25:08,825
It's like an inkblot test,
that butt sweat stain.
631
00:25:08,893 --> 00:25:10,811
Stare into it, William,
632
00:25:10,879 --> 00:25:14,765
and you will see the light of
all that is good go out of the world.
633
00:25:18,803 --> 00:25:20,771
Wait just a second, now.
634
00:25:20,838 --> 00:25:22,289
You look more
confused than ever.
635
00:25:22,357 --> 00:25:25,508
Is your Glee Club
doing Britney Spears music?
636
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,395
Is that why Rachel was wearing
that inappropriate outfit?
637
00:25:28,479 --> 00:25:30,347
No.
638
00:25:30,398 --> 00:25:33,533
No, we are not doing Britney.
639
00:25:33,601 --> 00:25:36,653
Okay.
Just checking.
640
00:25:45,672 --> 00:25:47,789
I'm serious. You should put
ranch dressing on it.
641
00:25:47,807 --> 00:25:51,323
- On pizza?
- Yeah, it's delicious. You should try it.
642
00:25:51,347 --> 00:25:53,578
I'm 100% in love
with you right now.
643
00:25:54,894 --> 00:25:56,070
Hey, Britney.
644
00:25:56,082 --> 00:25:57,761
Oh, hey, Artie.
645
00:25:57,779 --> 00:25:59,012
Girl, you are such a fool
646
00:25:59,063 --> 00:26:00,752
for breaking up
with such a sweetheart.
647
00:26:00,775 --> 00:26:02,449
I know, Britney.
648
00:26:02,517 --> 00:26:04,001
Artie, I'm sorry.
649
00:26:04,068 --> 00:26:06,353
And I'm stronger.
650
00:26:06,404 --> 00:26:08,088
I'm serious.
You're hot.
651
00:26:08,156 --> 00:26:10,874
(Britney Spears'
"Stronger" begins)
652
00:26:10,959 --> 00:26:13,460
♪ Ooh, hey, yeah... ♪
653
00:26:16,915 --> 00:26:19,917
♪ Hush, just stop ♪
654
00:26:20,001 --> 00:26:23,587
♪ There's nothing you
can do or say, ♪
655
00:26:23,671 --> 00:26:25,672
♪ baby. ♪
656
00:26:25,723 --> 00:26:28,258
♪ I've had enough. ♪
657
00:26:28,343 --> 00:26:32,729
♪ I'm not your property
as from today, ♪
658
00:26:32,814 --> 00:26:34,731
♪ baby. ♪
659
00:26:34,816 --> 00:26:38,452
♪ You might think that I ♪
660
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:42,189
♪ won't make it on my own, ♪
661
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:47,361
♪ but now I'm stronger
than yesterday. ♪
662
00:26:47,412 --> 00:26:51,731
♪ Now it's nothing but my way. ♪
663
00:26:51,783 --> 00:26:58,872
♪ My loneliness
ain't killing me no more. ♪
664
00:26:58,923 --> 00:27:03,794
♪ I am stronger. ♪
665
00:27:03,878 --> 00:27:05,796
♪ Oh, yeah... ♪
666
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,881
♪ Here I go on my own. ♪
667
00:27:09,968 --> 00:27:12,519
♪ I don't need nobody,
better off alone. ♪
668
00:27:13,938 --> 00:27:17,224
♪ Here I go on my own now. ♪
669
00:27:19,110 --> 00:27:21,761
♪ I don't need nobody,
not anybody. ♪
670
00:27:23,815 --> 00:27:27,234
(Echoing):
♪ Here I go... ♪
671
00:27:31,623 --> 00:27:33,907
♪ Here I go. ♪
672
00:27:33,958 --> 00:27:37,828
♪ Stronger than yesterday. ♪
673
00:27:37,912 --> 00:27:42,049
♪ It's nothing but my way. ♪
674
00:27:42,116 --> 00:27:46,770
♪ My loneliness
ain't killing me no more. ♪
675
00:27:46,838 --> 00:27:48,972
♪ No more. ♪
676
00:27:49,057 --> 00:27:53,627
♪ I am stronger. ♪
677
00:27:57,565 --> 00:27:59,900
Mmm, Britney.
678
00:27:59,968 --> 00:28:04,321
(Bell ringing)
679
00:28:04,405 --> 00:28:05,606
What are you doing?
680
00:28:05,657 --> 00:28:08,992
Oh. I'm, uh,
going to run some laps.
681
00:28:09,077 --> 00:28:11,828
Gonna get back in shape
and back on the team.
682
00:28:11,913 --> 00:28:12,996
That's what I came here
to talk to you about.
683
00:28:13,081 --> 00:28:14,031
I want on the team, too.
684
00:28:14,115 --> 00:28:16,667
Every day, Tina and Mike's
Asian fusion grows stronger.
685
00:28:16,734 --> 00:28:19,753
Look, I want to help you,
dude, but...
686
00:28:19,820 --> 00:28:22,339
kind of need to take care
of myself right now.
687
00:28:23,377 --> 00:28:25,592
I'm sorry.
688
00:28:26,878 --> 00:28:28,261
I had a vision
at the dentist.
689
00:28:28,329 --> 00:28:31,615
You and I were out on the field
with the team, playing football.
690
00:28:31,683 --> 00:28:33,200
We were unstoppable.
691
00:28:33,267 --> 00:28:35,577
I just know that if we can show
what I can do to Coach Beiste,
692
00:28:35,601 --> 00:28:37,725
- she'd put me on the team.
- Show me what?
693
00:28:39,882 --> 00:28:42,125
I... I wanted to ask you
to reconsider
694
00:28:42,193 --> 00:28:43,527
putting me on the football team.
695
00:28:43,611 --> 00:28:45,345
I'm not with him on this one.
696
00:28:45,413 --> 00:28:48,615
Well, you should be.
I need you to help him get his uniform.
697
00:28:48,683 --> 00:28:50,117
What?
698
00:28:50,184 --> 00:28:52,703
Well, don't just stare at me
like a donkey with a wooden leg.
699
00:28:52,787 --> 00:28:53,853
Go see the equipment manager,
700
00:28:53,905 --> 00:28:56,373
and you boys get out
on the field.
701
00:28:56,441 --> 00:28:58,225
Practice starts
in five minutes.
702
00:28:58,292 --> 00:28:59,826
Thanks, Coach.
We won't let you down.
703
00:28:59,877 --> 00:29:01,495
Well, come on. Go!
704
00:29:01,546 --> 00:29:03,380
FINN:
Those are on backwards.
705
00:29:06,701 --> 00:29:08,335
(Bell ringing)
706
00:29:08,386 --> 00:29:10,253
I was pretty sure
Artie's legs don't work.
707
00:29:10,338 --> 00:29:11,871
- Did you get a leg transplant?
ARTIE: Nope.
708
00:29:11,923 --> 00:29:13,674
My teammates can push my chair
like a battering ram.
709
00:29:13,741 --> 00:29:15,392
Yeah, there's no rules
against it. We checked.
710
00:29:15,476 --> 00:29:17,194
- And I have Britney Spears to thank.
- You're welcome.
711
00:29:17,261 --> 00:29:18,478
ARTIE: Britney plus
nitrous gave me
712
00:29:18,546 --> 00:29:19,730
an amazing idea, and it gave me
713
00:29:19,797 --> 00:29:21,031
the nerve
to tell Coach Beiste
714
00:29:21,099 --> 00:29:23,533
that Finn and I both really want
to be on the team.
715
00:29:23,601 --> 00:29:25,952
- Wait. You're back on the football team?
- Yeah.
716
00:29:26,020 --> 00:29:28,555
Suddenly, you're way hotter
to me. Weird.
717
00:29:28,606 --> 00:29:30,056
Wait. I don't get it.
718
00:29:30,108 --> 00:29:31,892
How come everyone's having
Britney Spears fantasies?
719
00:29:31,959 --> 00:29:34,144
The nitrous oxide dentists
use is a mild hallucinogen.
720
00:29:34,212 --> 00:29:36,179
Studies have proven
that it induces vivid dreams,
721
00:29:36,247 --> 00:29:37,998
often the last thing
the patient thinks of.
722
00:29:38,065 --> 00:29:39,166
The subconscious moves
to the forefront.
723
00:29:39,233 --> 00:29:41,101
Since we've all been thinking
so much about Britney,
724
00:29:41,169 --> 00:29:42,369
it only stands to reason.
725
00:29:42,420 --> 00:29:44,121
Okay, guys, listen up.
726
00:29:44,205 --> 00:29:45,839
Mr. Shue, if I may?
727
00:29:45,906 --> 00:29:47,907
Kurt, I overheard what you guys
were just talking about,
728
00:29:47,959 --> 00:29:49,459
and I know what you're
going to say.
729
00:29:49,544 --> 00:29:51,077
The answer is no.
730
00:29:51,129 --> 00:29:53,680
No, I'm not going to stand
in the way anymore.
731
00:29:53,748 --> 00:29:55,465
If you guys want to do Britney
732
00:29:55,550 --> 00:29:58,018
at this year's homecoming
assembly, I'm fine with it.
733
00:29:58,086 --> 00:29:59,603
(Cheering, excited chatter)
734
00:29:59,687 --> 00:30:02,355
WILL:
I know. Oh...
735
00:30:02,423 --> 00:30:04,474
And more than that,
736
00:30:04,559 --> 00:30:06,593
I am going
to perform with you.
737
00:30:06,644 --> 00:30:08,061
(Cheering and chatter stop)
738
00:30:08,112 --> 00:30:10,597
(Chuckles)
Right?
739
00:30:13,532 --> 00:30:16,548
(Bell ringing)
740
00:30:18,452 --> 00:30:19,919
I always thought
the boys' locker room
741
00:30:20,004 --> 00:30:22,567
would be all sexy, but actually,
it smells like feet in here.
742
00:30:22,590 --> 00:30:25,625
Oh, Rachel,
you can't be in here.
743
00:30:25,709 --> 00:30:27,593
You changed back to
your old clothes.
744
00:30:27,661 --> 00:30:30,513
I just want you to know that I
heard everything that you said
745
00:30:30,580 --> 00:30:32,348
and that I respect your needs,
746
00:30:32,416 --> 00:30:35,018
and I'll do anything
to make you feel safe and happy.
747
00:30:35,085 --> 00:30:36,419
Cool.
748
00:30:36,470 --> 00:30:37,678
Well, thanks. I gotta go.
749
00:30:37,690 --> 00:30:39,475
Wait...
(Stammers)
750
00:30:39,498 --> 00:30:41,891
I mean... d...
Don't you want
751
00:30:41,942 --> 00:30:44,230
to make me feel safe
and happy, too?
752
00:30:44,253 --> 00:30:46,545
Well, yeah. Yeah, sure.
753
00:30:46,665 --> 00:30:47,782
Wait. Wait.
754
00:30:47,867 --> 00:30:50,084
Do you want me to quit football?
755
00:30:50,169 --> 00:30:51,569
Look, how am I supposed to trust
756
00:30:51,620 --> 00:30:53,004
that you're not just
going to stray again?
757
00:30:53,071 --> 00:30:55,633
Remember your little fling
with Brittany and Santana?
758
00:30:55,656 --> 00:30:57,926
I do... all right?
Let's face it, Finn...
759
00:30:58,010 --> 00:31:02,263
The only way that this relationship
is going to work is if we're both losers.
760
00:31:02,348 --> 00:31:04,182
Okay. Come here.
761
00:31:04,964 --> 00:31:06,396
This is how it's gonna happen:
762
00:31:06,420 --> 00:31:08,567
I'm going to be
quarterback again,
763
00:31:08,634 --> 00:31:10,902
then I'm going to throw a
touchdown in our first game,
764
00:31:10,970 --> 00:31:12,521
and then point to you
in the stands
765
00:31:12,605 --> 00:31:15,073
so that everybody in the school
knows you're my girlfriend.
766
00:31:15,141 --> 00:31:16,942
All right?
767
00:31:16,993 --> 00:31:18,309
That's very
romantic, but...
768
00:31:19,812 --> 00:31:21,312
I don't know.
769
00:31:23,916 --> 00:31:27,753
Rachel, you can't ask me to
choose between you and football.
770
00:31:27,820 --> 00:31:29,421
Well, I am.
771
00:31:36,929 --> 00:31:39,181
(Sighs)
772
00:31:39,265 --> 00:31:41,099
(Bell ringing)
773
00:31:42,518 --> 00:31:44,469
EMMA: You need to sit
where you can be seen.
774
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:45,804
Why don't you sit at the top
775
00:31:45,855 --> 00:31:47,272
and wave your big,
foamy finger?
776
00:31:47,339 --> 00:31:49,474
Yeah? Up there.
777
00:31:49,525 --> 00:31:51,342
It's so, so exciting!
778
00:31:53,362 --> 00:31:56,364
- You know, I can get you backstage if you want.
- Oh, hey.
779
00:31:56,449 --> 00:31:58,150
- Hey.
- You're all dressed up.
780
00:31:58,201 --> 00:32:00,368
You look like a cast member
of Kids Incorporated.
781
00:32:00,453 --> 00:32:02,237
Well, I really want
to loosen up a bit,
782
00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:03,955
so I'm, uh, helping
the kids do Britney.
783
00:32:04,023 --> 00:32:05,991
(Laughs)
Outrageous, right?
784
00:32:06,042 --> 00:32:07,192
- Yeah.
- Oh.
785
00:32:07,243 --> 00:32:09,360
Showtime.
786
00:32:09,412 --> 00:32:11,029
SUE:
Sit down!
787
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:12,740
There's nothing
to stand up and cheer about.
788
00:32:12,740 --> 00:32:14,043
Hey, Coach!
789
00:32:14,052 --> 00:32:16,551
The glee club's doing
Britney Spears for the assembly.
790
00:32:16,636 --> 00:32:18,637
I just found out.
791
00:32:20,223 --> 00:32:21,673
Becky, you're on red alert.
792
00:32:21,724 --> 00:32:23,508
If you see any awkward
teenage frottage,
793
00:32:23,559 --> 00:32:26,061
you perform that
citizen's arrest we practiced.
794
00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:28,046
Got it, Coach.
795
00:32:30,183 --> 00:32:31,433
(feedback screeching)
796
00:32:31,517 --> 00:32:32,918
Quiet, please, children.
797
00:32:32,985 --> 00:32:34,653
Quiet now.
798
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:38,490
First, students
who ate the ravioli today
799
00:32:38,557 --> 00:32:41,559
and are not up-to-date
on their tetanus shots
800
00:32:41,611 --> 00:32:43,411
should see the nurse
immediately.
801
00:32:43,479 --> 00:32:47,749
Welcome to our homecoming
pep assembly.
802
00:32:47,817 --> 00:32:51,670
Because of last week's grisly
train derailment,
803
00:32:51,737 --> 00:32:55,707
the dulcimer club is on hiatus
until further notice.
804
00:32:55,775 --> 00:32:58,844
But do we ever have
a treat for you.
805
00:32:58,911 --> 00:33:02,514
Fresh off their last place
finish at the Regionals,
806
00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:06,218
please give it up
for the New Directions!
807
00:33:06,269 --> 00:33:07,853
(Scattered applause)
808
00:33:09,421 --> 00:33:11,256
(Britney Spears'
"Toxic" playing)
809
00:33:13,476 --> 00:33:14,926
♪ Baby, can't you see ♪
810
00:33:14,977 --> 00:33:16,945
♪ I'm calling. ♪
811
00:33:17,029 --> 00:33:18,396
♪ A guy like you ♪
812
00:33:18,447 --> 00:33:20,431
♪ should wear a warning. ♪
813
00:33:20,483 --> 00:33:22,433
♪ You're dangerous. ♪
814
00:33:22,485 --> 00:33:24,786
♪ I'm loving it. ♪
815
00:33:24,871 --> 00:33:26,204
I love Britney Spears!
816
00:33:27,456 --> 00:33:29,607
♪ Too high, ♪
817
00:33:29,659 --> 00:33:31,459
♪ can't come down. ♪
818
00:33:31,544 --> 00:33:35,897
♪ Losing my head,
spinning round and round. ♪
819
00:33:35,965 --> 00:33:40,652
♪ Oh, do you feel me now? ♪
820
00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:43,255
♪ With a taste of your lips, ♪
821
00:33:43,322 --> 00:33:44,573
♪ I'm on a ride. ♪
822
00:33:44,657 --> 00:33:46,658
(Crowd cheering)
I want to be that hat!
823
00:33:46,725 --> 00:33:48,893
♪ You're toxic,
I'm slipping under. ♪
824
00:33:48,945 --> 00:33:51,580
♪ With a taste
of a poison paradise, ♪
825
00:33:51,664 --> 00:33:54,416
♪ I'm addicted to you. ♪
826
00:33:54,500 --> 00:33:56,084
♪ Don't you know
that you're toxic? ♪
827
00:33:56,168 --> 00:33:59,237
(Crowd cheering)
828
00:33:59,288 --> 00:34:00,789
♪ And I love what you do. ♪
829
00:34:00,873 --> 00:34:04,909
♪ Don't you know
that you're toxic? ♪
830
00:34:04,961 --> 00:34:05,544
Take it off!
831
00:34:10,433 --> 00:34:11,916
Yes!
832
00:34:11,968 --> 00:34:13,268
♪ It's getting late ♪
833
00:34:13,352 --> 00:34:15,186
♪ to give you up. ♪
834
00:34:15,238 --> 00:34:17,055
♪ I took a sip ♪
835
00:34:17,106 --> 00:34:18,389
♪ from my devil's cup. ♪
836
00:34:18,441 --> 00:34:22,077
♪ Slowly it's taking over me. ♪
837
00:34:25,531 --> 00:34:27,065
♪ Too high, ♪
838
00:34:27,116 --> 00:34:28,566
♪ can't come down. ♪
839
00:34:28,618 --> 00:34:29,901
♪ It's in the air... ♪
840
00:34:29,952 --> 00:34:31,620
Mr. Shue,
let me be your Britney!
841
00:34:31,704 --> 00:34:34,539
♪ and it's all around. ♪
842
00:34:34,590 --> 00:34:37,542
♪ Oh, can you feel me now? ♪
843
00:34:37,593 --> 00:34:39,077
♪ Oh... ♪
844
00:34:39,128 --> 00:34:40,762
♪ With a taste of your lips, ♪
845
00:34:40,846 --> 00:34:43,682
♪ I'm on a ride. ♪
♪ On a ride... ♪
846
00:34:43,749 --> 00:34:46,351
♪ You're toxic,
I'm slipping under. ♪
847
00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:48,086
Oh!
848
00:34:48,137 --> 00:34:50,188
♪ With a taste
of a poison paradise. ♪
849
00:34:50,255 --> 00:34:51,723
♪ I'm addicted to you. ♪
850
00:34:51,774 --> 00:34:53,191
It's so sexy!
It's so...!
851
00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:54,592
♪ Don't you know
that you're toxic? ♪
852
00:34:54,644 --> 00:34:55,259
(Gasping)
853
00:34:57,263 --> 00:34:59,781
♪ I'm addicted to you,
don't you know that you're toxic? ♪
854
00:34:59,865 --> 00:35:01,265
Mr. Shue, I want your babies!
855
00:35:01,317 --> 00:35:03,034
♪ Intoxicate me now. ♪
856
00:35:03,102 --> 00:35:04,319
Don't stop doing that!
857
00:35:04,403 --> 00:35:05,787
Don't stop doing that!
858
00:35:05,871 --> 00:35:07,822
Yes! Yes!
859
00:35:07,907 --> 00:35:09,491
♪ I think I'm ready now. ♪
860
00:35:09,575 --> 00:35:10,492
♪ Intoxicate me now. ♪
861
00:35:10,576 --> 00:35:12,327
♪ With your loving now. ♪
862
00:35:12,411 --> 00:35:13,578
Uh-oh.
863
00:35:13,629 --> 00:35:15,080
♪ I think I'm ready. ♪
864
00:35:15,131 --> 00:35:16,498
♪ I think I'm ready now. ♪
865
00:35:16,582 --> 00:35:19,250
It's a Britney Spears sex riot.
866
00:35:19,302 --> 00:35:20,135
(Crowd cheering)
867
00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:24,789
(Alarm ringing, music stops,
crowd cheering)
868
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,675
(Clamoring)
869
00:35:33,733 --> 00:35:36,801
Run the other way!
870
00:35:36,852 --> 00:35:38,653
(Alarm ringing)
871
00:35:42,491 --> 00:35:43,825
(Screaming)
872
00:35:43,909 --> 00:35:46,244
(Clamoring)
873
00:35:59,378 --> 00:36:01,163
(Bell ringing)
874
00:36:01,187 --> 00:36:03,250
(Sue clears throat)
875
00:36:03,334 --> 00:36:04,284
(Sighs)
876
00:36:04,368 --> 00:36:05,669
How you doing, Sue?
877
00:36:05,736 --> 00:36:07,237
Not sure if you heard, William,
878
00:36:07,288 --> 00:36:09,572
but my spinal column
was ruptured in a sex riot.
879
00:36:09,624 --> 00:36:10,957
Sue, you pulled the alarm.
880
00:36:11,042 --> 00:36:12,542
Everything was going fine!
881
00:36:12,610 --> 00:36:14,511
You know, William, that's
what one Hubert Humphrey said
882
00:36:14,578 --> 00:36:17,514
back in 1968 at the start of the
Democratic National Convention.
883
00:36:17,581 --> 00:36:20,267
But then hippies put acid
in everyone's bourbon.
884
00:36:20,351 --> 00:36:21,701
And when an
updraft revealed
885
00:36:21,769 --> 00:36:23,470
Lady Bird Johnson's tramp stamp
886
00:36:23,538 --> 00:36:25,856
and tattoos above her ovaries,
Mayor Richard J. Daley
887
00:36:25,923 --> 00:36:27,524
became so incensed
with sexual rage
888
00:36:27,591 --> 00:36:29,559
that he punched
his own wife in the face
889
00:36:29,627 --> 00:36:31,244
and spent the next
hour screaming
890
00:36:31,312 --> 00:36:34,931
"Sex party" into the microphones
of all three major networks.
891
00:36:34,982 --> 00:36:36,816
Okay, I'm pretty sure
none of that happened.
892
00:36:36,884 --> 00:36:38,735
You can expect a call
very soon from my lawyer...
893
00:36:38,803 --> 00:36:40,136
Gloria Allred.
894
00:36:40,204 --> 00:36:42,155
I'm gonna sue the
pants off you, Will.
895
00:36:42,240 --> 00:36:45,242
I'm gonna take your
house, your car,
896
00:36:45,293 --> 00:36:47,210
your extensive
collection of vests.
897
00:36:47,278 --> 00:36:48,645
I mean, seriously,
898
00:36:48,713 --> 00:36:50,630
you wear more vests than
the cast of Blossom.
899
00:36:50,646 --> 00:36:53,123
And I'll see you in court.
900
00:36:56,554 --> 00:36:57,387
(Sighs)
901
00:36:58,441 --> 00:37:00,290
Emma...
902
00:37:02,057 --> 00:37:03,626
Look, what I did
was a little weird.
903
00:37:03,678 --> 00:37:04,928
I know that.
It was inappropriate
904
00:37:04,979 --> 00:37:06,646
for me to do Britney
with the kids.
905
00:37:06,731 --> 00:37:10,016
I just thought you wanted me
to be less uptight.
906
00:37:10,973 --> 00:37:13,438
Will, I just wanted
you to relax.
907
00:37:14,577 --> 00:37:16,539
You know,
not stop being you.
908
00:37:18,125 --> 00:37:20,126
I know you're frustrated.
909
00:37:20,211 --> 00:37:23,046
You know, Terri's still on your case,
you lost at regionals,
910
00:37:23,114 --> 00:37:24,848
Glee's still the bottom
pickle in the barrel...
911
00:37:24,915 --> 00:37:26,582
You and Carl.
912
00:37:26,634 --> 00:37:28,635
Yeah.
Me and Carl.
913
00:37:29,862 --> 00:37:32,289
Especially me and Carl.
914
00:37:32,856 --> 00:37:35,141
Look, have you ever noticed
that Britney Spears
915
00:37:35,226 --> 00:37:36,693
only makes great music
916
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:39,296
when she's not chasing
down paparazzi?
917
00:37:39,363 --> 00:37:41,815
She can't just swallow a grenade
and let her talent explode
918
00:37:41,899 --> 00:37:43,133
all over the wall.
919
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,135
She's got to rein it in,
just like you do.
920
00:37:45,202 --> 00:37:47,787
You're such a great
teacher, Will.
921
00:37:47,872 --> 00:37:49,739
No, probably the best
in the whole school.
922
00:37:49,790 --> 00:37:51,741
So why would you want
to be someone else
923
00:37:51,792 --> 00:37:53,209
when the someone
that you already are
924
00:37:53,277 --> 00:37:54,411
is so amazing?
925
00:37:54,478 --> 00:37:58,331
Because the boring
someone I already am...
926
00:37:58,399 --> 00:38:00,050
wasn't good enough for you.
927
00:38:04,422 --> 00:38:06,006
Hey, where you going?
928
00:38:06,090 --> 00:38:08,291
To return that car.
929
00:38:08,342 --> 00:38:11,478
(Bell ringing)
930
00:38:11,562 --> 00:38:13,013
U.S. History...
931
00:38:13,097 --> 00:38:14,481
Crap, I forgot
I was taking that.
932
00:38:14,565 --> 00:38:16,266
Congrats, Finn.
933
00:38:16,317 --> 00:38:19,602
You're back on the team,
I'm head cheerleader again.
934
00:38:19,654 --> 00:38:22,689
Some kind of symmetry,
don't you think?
935
00:38:22,773 --> 00:38:25,992
With all the nastiness
between you and I behind us,
936
00:38:26,077 --> 00:38:27,944
I think we should be together.
937
00:38:27,995 --> 00:38:30,280
We'd be a shoo-in
for Homecoming king and queen.
938
00:38:30,331 --> 00:38:31,647
So what do you say?
939
00:38:31,699 --> 00:38:35,818
You and me,
8:00, Breadstix?
940
00:38:35,870 --> 00:38:38,838
Look, I'd be lying if I said I
didn't have feelings for you.
941
00:38:40,107 --> 00:38:42,375
Probably always will.
942
00:38:44,762 --> 00:38:47,100
But I'm not gonna get
back together with you.
943
00:38:47,123 --> 00:38:49,132
There's someone else,
and you know who that is.
944
00:38:49,183 --> 00:38:50,350
I'm asking you
to respect that.
945
00:38:52,210 --> 00:38:53,687
I'm sorry.
946
00:39:04,115 --> 00:39:07,984
I said what you wanted me to,
he shot me down.
947
00:39:08,035 --> 00:39:09,852
So congrats.
948
00:39:09,904 --> 00:39:11,154
Looks like he
really loves you.
949
00:39:16,127 --> 00:39:18,078
(Bell ringing)
950
00:39:18,162 --> 00:39:19,129
All right.
951
00:39:19,196 --> 00:39:20,463
Rachel?
952
00:39:20,531 --> 00:39:22,665
I have a song that I've prepared
for the class.
953
00:39:22,717 --> 00:39:25,335
Sorry, Rachel, no Britney.
I'm really happy that
954
00:39:25,386 --> 00:39:26,803
her music has inspired
so many of you,
955
00:39:26,870 --> 00:39:28,555
even if that
inspiration was
956
00:39:28,639 --> 00:39:29,839
brought about
by a dangerous narcotic.
957
00:39:29,890 --> 00:39:31,307
And I think
958
00:39:31,375 --> 00:39:34,310
we've all come to appreciate
her music and celebrity
959
00:39:34,378 --> 00:39:35,945
so much more this week.
960
00:39:36,013 --> 00:39:38,982
But honestly, she's just not us.
961
00:39:39,049 --> 00:39:40,233
I'm devastated.
962
00:39:40,317 --> 00:39:42,819
I can't believe we only
did one Britney number.
963
00:39:42,887 --> 00:39:44,053
RACHEL:
I was actually gonna do
964
00:39:44,105 --> 00:39:45,321
something from
our original assignment
965
00:39:45,389 --> 00:39:47,440
last week: Adult Contemporary.
966
00:39:47,525 --> 00:39:50,193
But this is just
a little bit more Young Adult.
967
00:39:50,244 --> 00:39:51,277
Oh.
968
00:39:51,362 --> 00:39:52,395
Great, Rachel.
969
00:39:52,446 --> 00:39:53,496
Well, let's hear it.
970
00:39:57,901 --> 00:40:01,588
I'd like to dedicate this
song to my boyfriend, Finn.
971
00:40:01,672 --> 00:40:03,673
I was wrong.
972
00:40:03,740 --> 00:40:05,708
I shouldn't try
to control you.
973
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,845
I've just... I've never been
this happy before.
974
00:40:08,912 --> 00:40:10,513
And I realize that
975
00:40:10,581 --> 00:40:14,267
I was trying to hold onto how
you were making me feel so much,
976
00:40:14,351 --> 00:40:17,387
that I was strangling you in
my hands, like a little bird.
977
00:40:17,438 --> 00:40:20,423
I get now, that in order for
this relationship to work,
978
00:40:20,474 --> 00:40:23,893
I have to open up my hands
and let you fly free.
979
00:40:23,944 --> 00:40:24,760
Finn can fly?
980
00:40:25,980 --> 00:40:27,230
- Really?
- Wait, I thought I was
981
00:40:27,281 --> 00:40:28,898
the only one getting
the solos from now on.
982
00:40:28,949 --> 00:40:30,700
Next week, I'm going to be
983
00:40:30,767 --> 00:40:33,153
performing a musical number
by Ke$ha.
984
00:40:33,237 --> 00:40:35,071
(Paramore's "You Are
the Only Exception" playing)
985
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,799
♪ When I was younger, ♪
986
00:40:45,883 --> 00:40:49,836
♪ I saw my daddy cry ♪
987
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:53,456
♪ and curse at the wind. ♪
988
00:40:53,507 --> 00:40:57,960
♪ He broke his own heart
as I watched ♪
989
00:40:58,012 --> 00:41:04,484
♪ as he tried to
reassemble it. ♪
990
00:41:04,568 --> 00:41:06,853
♪ And my mama swore ♪
991
00:41:06,937 --> 00:41:14,143
♪ she would never
let herself forget, ♪
992
00:41:14,195 --> 00:41:18,364
♪ and that was the day
that I promised ♪
993
00:41:18,449 --> 00:41:23,920
♪ I'd never sing of love
if it does not exist. ♪
994
00:41:23,987 --> 00:41:30,677
♪ But darling, you are
the only exception. ♪
995
00:41:30,761 --> 00:41:36,049
♪ You are the only exception. ♪
996
00:41:36,133 --> 00:41:40,720
♪ You are the only exception. ♪
997
00:41:40,804 --> 00:41:46,142
♪ You are the only exception. ♪
998
00:41:46,193 --> 00:41:51,397
♪ Oh... ♪
999
00:41:51,482 --> 00:41:55,869
♪ Oh... ♪
1000
00:41:55,953 --> 00:41:59,021
♪ I've got a tight grip
on reality, ♪
1001
00:41:59,073 --> 00:42:06,129
♪ but I can't let go of
what's in front of me here. ♪
1002
00:42:06,196 --> 00:42:08,381
♪ I know you're leaving
in the morning. ♪
1003
00:42:08,465 --> 00:42:13,052
♪ When you wake up,
leave me with ♪
1004
00:42:13,137 --> 00:42:15,922
♪ some kind of proof
it's not a dream. ♪
1005
00:42:16,006 --> 00:42:22,545
♪ Oh, oh, oh... ♪
1006
00:42:22,596 --> 00:42:27,984
♪ You are the only exception. ♪
1007
00:42:28,051 --> 00:42:33,222
♪ You are the only exception. ♪
1008
00:42:33,274 --> 00:42:38,027
♪ You are the only exception. ♪
1009
00:42:38,078 --> 00:42:43,783
♪ You are the only exception. ♪
1010
00:42:43,867 --> 00:42:48,755
♪ You are the only exception. ♪
1011
00:42:48,839 --> 00:42:53,743
♪ You are the only exception. ♪
1012
00:42:53,794 --> 00:43:01,634
♪ And I'm on my way
to believing... ♪
1013
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:04,587
♪ Oh... ♪
1014
00:43:04,638 --> 00:43:07,923
♪ And I'm on my way
to believing... ♪
1015
00:43:07,975 --> 00:43:13,647
Sync By YesCool
www.addic7ed.com