1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,592 Here's what you missed on Glee. 2 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,797 Emma had a crush on Will, but Will was married. 3 00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:08,102 Will had a crush on Emma. He got a divorce and kissed her... 4 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:09,766 but now she's dating some dude named Carl. 5 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,401 - He's my dentist. - It's a total bummer. 6 00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:13,878 - Tina told Artie to take a hike. - You're a terrible boyfriend. 7 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,939 Then she got the hots for Mike Chang. Now Artie's obsessed with getting her back. 8 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,644 - I want abs. - So much drama. 9 00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:21,152 That's what you missed on Glee. 10 00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:26,251 All right. Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is? 11 00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:28,760 He discovered America. 12 00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:32,161 Close. He did write an iconic chart topper- "Sailing." 13 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,097 I have a bad feeling about this lesson. 14 00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:35,794 Never heard of him. Don't want to hear about him. 15 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,770 Now, some people think of the term "easy listening" as a bad thing... 16 00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:40,999 but I'm gonna let this music speak for itself. 17 00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,440 You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones... 18 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:45,944 and you guys are really good about putting it all out there... 19 00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:50,142 but really good music can also be controlled and restrained. 20 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,309 It doesn't have to attack an audience. 21 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,319 It can let them come to you. 22 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,753 How can you get caught between the moon and New York City? 23 00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:58,415 They're like a hundred miles apart. 24 00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:01,289 Mr. Schue, if I may, I think I speak for all of us... 25 00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:03,852 when I say that it's not that we don't love the idea... 26 00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:06,660 of spending a week on this silky-smooth adult contemporary. 27 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:10,328 It's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to. 28 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:13,338 However, there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign... 29 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,806 that has swelled to over five members. 30 00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:19,436 The ardent demand? That this week, at the fall homecoming assembly... 31 00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:24,313 the McKinley High School Glee Club perform a number by- wait for it- 32 00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:25,942 Ms. Britney Spears. 33 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:28,146 - Yo, Spears is fierce, yo. - Yeah. 34 00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:30,155 Whoo! 35 00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:32,714 Sorry. Kurt. Kurt. Sorry. No. 36 00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:35,317 No. No. I don't think she's a very good role model. 37 00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:37,363 But, Mr. Schue, we kind of grew up with her. 38 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,398 She's literally why I wanted to become a performer. 39 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:42,367 - I don't want to do Britney. - Why no Britney, Brittany? 40 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:45,233 Because my name is also Britney Spears. 41 00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:47,068 - What? - What the hell is she talking about? 44 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:55,639 I've lived my entire life in Britney Spears's shadow. 45 00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:58,809 I will never be as talented or as famous. 46 00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:02,048 I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where... 47 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:06,252 I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears. 48 00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:09,523 Well, there you have it, guys. 49 00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:12,394 It's been decided. No Britney. Sorry. 50 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,330 Thanks, Britt. Thanks a lot. 51 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,493 Leave Brittany alone. 52 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:20,005 Thank you for understanding. It's been a hard road. 53 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,768 Um, can we move on? 54 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:23,832 Yes. 55 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,071 Let's talk about Michael Bolton. 56 00:02:29,782 --> 00:02:31,875 I know that Britney's had some issues in the past... 57 00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:34,886 but I actually think it's quite admirable the way she's gotten her life back together. 58 00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:38,890 Hasn't she had, what, like three number one hits in the past two years? 59 00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:41,392 She's a single mom raising two kids. 60 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:44,191 I think she's the perfect symbol for the possibility of rebirth. 61 00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,856 I ca- 62 00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:48,560 See, that's your problem, Will. You're too uptight. 63 00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:50,466 - Oh, you're calling me uptight? - Mm-hmm. 64 00:02:50,537 --> 00:02:52,471 The woman who buys hand sanitizer by the barrel? 65 00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:55,531 I admit I have had some control issues in the past... 66 00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:57,542 but Carl's been helping me with all of that. 67 00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:58,770 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 68 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,370 Wow. Um, like how? 69 00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:05,144 So, the other day he made me buy the green grapes and the red grapes at the market. 70 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,550 Then we just mixed them together in a bowl, and we just ate them. 71 00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:10,453 - It was madness. Sheer madness. - Wow. 72 00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:14,251 You know what? That's fine. Make fun all you want... 73 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,761 but it's a start, and I am incredibly grateful for it. 74 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:18,421 Hey now. Am I interrupting? 75 00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:21,797 Carl, no. Hi. What are you doing here? 76 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,564 I thought I'd surprise you and take you to lunch. 77 00:03:24,637 --> 00:03:28,801 Oh, I love that look of instant panic every time I try to change your routine. 78 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:29,933 Adorable. 79 00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:33,778 - And you must be Will. - Yeah. 80 00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,837 Emma told me you're the cutest guy in school. 81 00:03:35,915 --> 00:03:37,815 Will, you grind your teeth? 82 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,749 I- I don't think so. 83 00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:41,616 - Damn it. - What? What's wrong? 84 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:43,588 Another teenager needs a root canal. I swear... 85 00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:46,591 not one student in this school is gonna have their teeth by the time they're 30. 86 00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:48,490 Oh, the sugar kids eat today. 87 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,756 Carl has been trying to get the school board to let him come... 88 00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:53,492 do a seminar on good dental hygiene, but they've been dragging their feet. 89 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:57,127 - Why don't you come talk to Glee Club? - Well- 90 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:59,262 - That would be a dream, Will. - Yeah. 91 00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:00,806 Yeah. Will, that would be amazing. 92 00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:03,341 I'm usually pretty tight about our rehearsal schedule... 93 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:06,708 but I think I can loosen the reins a bit for Carl. 94 00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:09,839 Kids can't sing without teeth, right? 95 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:13,352 No. They'd be- They wouldn't be singing. They'd be gumming. 96 00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:18,286 - This jacket! 97 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,349 Hey. Hey! Give me that back! I earned that! 98 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,553 This jacket belongs to people who are actually on the team. 99 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:25,564 But you know what? We gonna restyle it to represent the obvious... 100 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:28,430 duality in your sexuality. 101 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,205 Ooh. 102 00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,735 - Trying to swing at me? - Swingin', huh? 103 00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:38,834 - Come on. Swing at me. - I love it. Come on! 104 00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,674 - Come on. Let's go! - Sorry to interrupt. 105 00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:43,307 I'm actually glad you're here to see this. 106 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:46,511 Finn, I just wanted to apologize for getting you kicked off the football team. 107 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,247 I just hope there's no hard feelings. 108 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:52,417 - So, what are you guys talking about? - Dude, take him. 109 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:54,983 This wheelchair kid is in the way. What if I knock him over? 110 00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:58,360 Ah, there's something not right about hitting a kid in a wheelchair. 111 00:04:58,431 --> 00:05:01,730 The only thing that's saving you right now is my moral code. 112 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,167 I don't hit crippled people, but I'll be back. 113 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,762 - We're gonna be back. 114 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:15,214 All right. So here's the deal. You chew this little capsule. 115 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:18,216 If there's any plaque you missed, the dye will stick to it and turn your teeth blue. 116 00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:20,718 Can I just say that you are the hottest dentist I've ever seen. 117 00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:24,188 - Yeah, I get that all the time. - No. Like, seriously, you can totally drill me whenever- 118 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:26,953 Santana. Okay. Let's stay focused. 119 00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:30,223 Rock and roll, Ems. And besides, this guy- 120 00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:33,197 Now, this guy's pretty easy on the eyes too, huh? 121 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,257 And you know what? No matter how hard I tried... 122 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,269 I bet I couldn't sing and dance like him. 123 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:41,137 - Ah, probably not. - All right. Let's take a look at those chompers, huh? 124 00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:43,607 Before we chew, I would just like to alert Mr. Schue... 125 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,474 that there's been a new addition to the Britney Spears Facebook campaign. 126 00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,207 Sorry. The answer's still no. 127 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,545 Capsules, guys. 128 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:52,447 Yes. Chew away. Chew, chew. 129 00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,326 Oh, my God. 130 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,161 What? 131 00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,161 Ah! 132 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:13,637 I don't understand. I floss between classes. 133 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:16,300 - Well, sometimes it's genetics. - I think I might be better... 134 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,469 at brushing and flossing if I could see myself in the mirror. 135 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,569 - There you go, blue tooth. - I don't brush my teeth. 136 00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:22,637 I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. 137 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:25,149 I was pretty sure Dr Pepper was a dentist. 138 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:29,951 I got this, Em. Some deep bleaching, little scaling, you'll be as good as new. 139 00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:31,990 All right. Open up. 140 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,083 Close. 141 00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:36,023 Close again. 142 00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:37,288 Muzak] 143 00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,923 This room looks like the one on that spaceship where I got probed. 144 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,992 So, Brittany, you, uh- 145 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,436 You have the worst teeth I've ever seen. 146 00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:50,101 You have cavities in every single tooth. This has got to be some sort of record. 147 00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:52,167 Please don't pull all my teeth. 148 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,180 When I smile I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs. 149 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,513 I'm gonna put you under with a little general anesthesia. You won't feel a thing. 150 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,916 - Like roofies? - Yeah. Totally. 151 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:03,613 I'll put on Pandora. 152 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:06,351 - ## - And you just relax. 153 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:09,595 Oh, no. Not Britney. 154 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:25,067 # All you people look at me like I'm a little girl # 155 00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:29,911 # Well, did you ever think it'd be okay for me to step into this world # 156 00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:34,180 # Always saying "Little girl, don't step into the club" # 157 00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:37,814 # Well, I'm just trying to find out why 'cause dancing's what I love # 158 00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:40,256 - # Now watch me # - # Get it, get it, get it, get it # 159 00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:42,692 - # Ooh # - # Get it, get it # - # Do you like it # 160 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:44,696 - # Whoa # - # Get it, get it, get it, get it # 161 00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,595 - # Oh # - # It just feels good # 162 00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:51,899 # I'm a slave for you # 163 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,734 # I cannot hold it # 164 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,398 # I cannot control it # 165 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:59,935 # I'm a slave for you # 166 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:02,008 # I won't deny it # 167 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,345 # I'm not trying to hide it # 168 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:08,877 # I know I may come off quiet may come off shy # 169 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:12,891 # But I feel like talking, feel like dancing when I see this guy # 170 00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:17,862 # What's practical is logical What the hell, who cares # 171 00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:22,026 # All I know is I'm so happy when you're dancing there # 172 00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:23,432 # Baby # 173 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,904 # Don't you wanna dance up on me # 174 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,304 # I just wanna dance next to you # 175 00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:30,774 # To another time and place # 176 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,242 # Oh, baby # 177 00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:36,077 # Don't you wanna dance up on me # 178 00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:38,776 - # Are you ready # - # Leaving behind my name and age # 179 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:41,718 - # Let's go # - # Get it, get it, get it, get it # 180 00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:43,550 - # Ooh # - # Get it, get it, get it, get it # 181 00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:45,818 - # Whoa # - # Get it, get it, get it, get it # 182 00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:51,725 - # I'm a slave for you # - # Here we go now # 183 00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:54,425 - # Here we go now # - # I cannot hold it # 184 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,060 - # I cannot control it # - # Do you like it when I move # 185 00:08:57,136 --> 00:09:01,903 - # I'm a slave for you # - # Here we go # 186 00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:03,305 # I won't deny it # 187 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,139 - # Yeah # - # I'm not trying to hide it # 188 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,178 # Yeah # 189 00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:08,848 - # Like that ## - Brittany? 190 00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:12,575 Brittany, wake up. All right. You're gonna feel a little nauseous. 191 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,818 I petted a snake. 192 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,584 Rock on. 193 00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:20,592 I'm gonna have to see you tomorrow. 194 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:21,820 You have 68 cavities. 195 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,657 I couldn't get 'em all today. 196 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,822 Can I have a blue toothbrush? 197 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,957 - I'll give you a hundred toothbrushes. - Okay. 198 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,537 Are you a cat? 199 00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:34,505 Are you all right? You seem a little down. 200 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,633 Didn't you like the banana bread I baked you? 201 00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:39,837 Yeah. It was awesome. It's just- 202 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:42,972 How do you feel about me not being on the football team anymore? 203 00:09:43,049 --> 00:09:45,950 I'm actually kind of happy about it. Then I don't have to fantasize... 204 00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:49,317 about what song I'd sing at your bedside if you were in a coma. 205 00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:50,685 Yeah. 206 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,690 But I'm just so not cool now, you know? 207 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:56,285 Well, it's just less of a chance of you running off with some cheerleader. 208 00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:58,387 Wait. So you want me to feel bad about myself? 209 00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:01,627 No. I just- I want to be the only thing that makes you feel good. 210 00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:05,465 - I'm just trying to be honest. - Hey, dwarf. 211 00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:08,530 Anyone ever tell you you dress like one of the bait girls on To Catch a Predator? 212 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,303 Also, I'm more talented than you. 213 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,135 You could have defended me. 214 00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:14,907 Well, Santana has a point. 215 00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:17,940 I'm just trying to be honest. 216 00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:26,920 Muzak] - So, Santana, I'm looking at your charts and your X-rays. 217 00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:29,484 - Your teeth are perfect. - That's right. 218 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,996 Well, I can't just put you under. 219 00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:33,998 Anesthesia isn't something to joke about. It's serious. 220 00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:37,729 Okay, listen. My dad's a doctor. And not a "tooth doctor." 221 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,431 A real one. He, like, went to college or something. 222 00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:43,202 Which means I have a killer health care plan that pretty much pays for everything. 223 00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:45,243 So get up in my grille... 224 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,940 'cause Britts and I wants to get our anesthesia on. 225 00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:51,882 - It's totally cool. - Well, okay. 226 00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:54,442 - I guess I can give you a superstrong bleaching. - Mmm. 227 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,284 - Should I turn the radio on? - We've got it covered. 228 00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:00,524 # All my people in the crowd # 229 00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,424 # Grab a partner Take it down # 230 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,429 # It's me against the music # 231 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,089 - # It's just me # - # And me # 232 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,928 - # Yeah # - # Come on # 233 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,365 # Ho # 234 00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:12,767 # Hey, Brittany # 235 00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:15,804 - # Are you ready # - # Uh-huh # 236 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,537 - # Are you # - # Ooh # 237 00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,442 # No one cares # 238 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,606 # It's whippin' my hair It's pullin' my waist # 239 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:26,550 - # To hell with stairs # - # The sweat is drippin' all over my face # 240 00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:28,109 - # To hell # - # And no one's there # 241 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,485 # I'm the only one dancin' up in this place # 242 00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:32,387 - # It's just me # - # Tonight I'm here # 243 00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:34,323 # Feel the beat of the drum Gotta get with that bass # 244 00:11:34,393 --> 00:11:36,088 # I'm up against the speaker tryin' to take on the music # 245 00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:37,720 # It's like a competition Me against the beat # 246 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,788 - # I wanna get in the zone # - # Get in the zone # 247 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,299 - # I wanna get in the zone # - # I wanna get in the zone # 248 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,393 # If you really wanna battle saddle up and get your rhythm # 249 00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:47,098 # Tryin' to hit it, chic-a-tah In a minute, I'm-a take you on # 250 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:49,107 - # I'm-a take you on # - # I'm-a take you on # 251 00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:50,301 # Hey, hey, hey # 252 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,276 # All my people on the floor # 253 00:11:52,344 --> 00:11:54,574 - # Let me see you dance # - # Let me see ya # 254 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,672 # All my people wantin' more # 255 00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:58,478 # Let me see you dance I wanna see ya # 256 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,485 # All my people round and round # 257 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,578 - # Let me see you dance # - # Let me see ya # 258 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,452 # All my people in the crowd # 259 00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:06,491 - # Let me see you dance # - # I wanna see ya # 260 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,584 # Get on the floor # 261 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,095 - # Baby, lose control # - # Yeah # 262 00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:13,324 - # Just work your body # - # Uh-huh # 263 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,333 - # And let it go # - # Let it go # 264 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:19,132 # If you wanna party just grab somebody # 265 00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:23,164 # Hey, Brittany we can dance all night long # 266 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,210 # Hey, Brittany # 267 00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:28,041 # You say you wanna lose control # 268 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:31,174 # Come over here I got somethin' to show ya # 269 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,309 # Sexy lady # 270 00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:36,183 # I'd rather see you bare your soul # 271 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,553 # If you think you're so hot better show me what you got # 272 00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:40,387 # All my people in the crowd # 273 00:12:40,459 --> 00:12:42,393 # Let me see you dance # 274 00:12:42,461 --> 00:12:44,691 # Come on, Brittany Lose control # 275 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,493 # Watch you take it down # 276 00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:48,731 # Get on the floor # 277 00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,564 # Baby, lose control # 278 00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:55,232 # Just work your body and let it go # 279 00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:59,004 # If you wanna party just grab somebody # 280 00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:02,639 # Hey, Brittany we can dance all night long # 281 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:06,674 - # All my people on the floor # - # Said let me see you dance # 282 00:13:06,752 --> 00:13:10,654 - # All my people in the crowd # - # Said let me see you dance # 283 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:14,250 - # All my people in the crowd # - # Let me see you dance # 284 00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:16,226 # Come on, Brittany Lose control # 285 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:18,388 # Watch you take it down ## 286 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,257 - You're really hot. - You're sweet. 287 00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:25,235 - And your breath smells really good. - So does yours. 288 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,829 And you know why? 'Cause this is a fantasy. 289 00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,569 Wow. 290 00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:35,205 ...making Christopher Cross a Golden Globe... 291 00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,909 Oscar and five-time Grammy award winner. 292 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,917 - Brittany. - I would just like to say... 293 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:43,250 that, from now on, I demand to have every solo in Glee Club. 294 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:45,187 - What? - When I had my teeth cleaned... 295 00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:47,384 I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy. 296 00:13:47,459 --> 00:13:49,791 I sang and danced better than her. 297 00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:52,023 Now I realize what a powerful woman I truly am. 298 00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:54,725 I went with her, and I had a Britney fantasy too. 299 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:59,100 Although now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not really sure how our fantasies combined. 300 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,867 - That doesn't make any sense. - You see, Mr. Schue? I told you. 301 00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:05,877 Britney Spears busted our Britt out of her everyday fragmented haze of confusion... 302 00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:08,072 and gave her the confidence to step up and perform. 303 00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:10,308 I'm more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now. 304 00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:13,084 It's Brittany, bitch. 305 00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:16,315 Guys, we're not doing Britney Spears, and that's that. 306 00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:19,755 Mr. Schue, you are letting your own personal issues get in the way of something... 307 00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:22,919 that we are all telling you we really want to do. 308 00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:25,054 I mean, this club regularly pays tribute to pop culture... 309 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,121 and Britney Spears is pop culture. 310 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,793 - To suggest otherwise is heretical. - Kurt! 311 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:33,305 - I'm done talking about this. - Geez! Let loose a little, would you? 312 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,704 Stop being so fricking uptight all the time! 313 00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:39,701 Kurt. 314 00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:44,739 - I'll see you in the principal's office. - Uh-oh. 315 00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:52,119 - Ahhh. - Ahhh. 316 00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:54,125 - # Ahhh # - # Ahhh # 317 00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:56,957 - ## - ## 318 00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,827 All right. Evidence of some grinding. 319 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:03,198 - I'll set you up with a night guard. - Fantastic. Happy to do it. 320 00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:06,170 - All right. Can we stop this right now? - What? 321 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,832 Well, this is clearly awkward for the two of us. 322 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,206 All right. Let's talk it out. 323 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,641 Bro to bro. 324 00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:16,510 Fine, bro. 325 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:19,676 I still have feelings for Emma. Strong feelings. 326 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,220 So do I. The difference is she chose me. 327 00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:24,688 Now, I don't know what's gonna happen with Emma and I, but... 328 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,850 I do ask that you back off until we figure it out. 329 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,019 What if I tell you I don't think I could do that? 330 00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:33,191 Rinse. 331 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:36,029 Will, put yourself in my shoes. 332 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:38,399 I mean, say it doesn't work out between the two of us... 333 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,461 and she chooses to go back to you. 334 00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:42,973 How would you feel if I continued to come after her? 335 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,701 Okay, fine. I'll back off. 336 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,543 But the second she starts leaning my way, I am back in. Deal? 337 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:53,381 Deal. Now open back up. I want to continue this examination. 338 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,644 - Ahhh. - No more ahhhs. 339 00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:59,850 You know what? I got just the thing for you. 340 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,198 - Candy? - You gotta loosen up and bang, bro. 341 00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:11,395 I mean, you're grinding those beautiful little teeth down to nubs. 342 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,438 I honestly think that's why you and Emma didn't work out. 343 00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,666 There's not an impulsive bone between the two of you. 344 00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,403 - And you think eating candy's gonna change that? - You gotta get ridiculous, bro. 345 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,037 You gotta just start doing things that feel good for no reason. 346 00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:25,209 You know, I used to get up at the same time every day and have the same eggs. 347 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:27,752 One day I'm driving the hybrid to work, past the Chevy dealership. 348 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,846 The new Corvettes had just come in. So I stop right on the spot... 349 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:33,084 I make a U-turn, and I buy one. 350 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,592 Now I take the top down, take Emma for a spin. 351 00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,425 She doesn't even care if her hair gets messed up. You follow me? 352 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,693 - Hey, Rachel. - Hey, Mr. Schue. 353 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,398 You all set? You need me to stay with you or anything? 354 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:49,373 No. I've been taking herbal anti-anxiety pills... 355 00:16:49,441 --> 00:16:52,308 and reading the unauthorized biography of Britney Spears to stay calm. 356 00:16:52,378 --> 00:16:55,870 I look forward to the day the paparazzi provokes me and I attack them. 357 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:58,473 Are you okay? Did you have a cavity or something? 358 00:16:58,550 --> 00:17:01,542 - Is that candy? - I'm fine. 359 00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:04,078 Good luck. 360 00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:28,336 # Oh, baby, baby # 361 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,109 # Oh, baby, baby # 362 00:17:36,588 --> 00:17:41,821 # Oh, baby, baby How was I supposed to know # 363 00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:46,457 # That something wasn't right here # 364 00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,659 # Oh, baby, baby # 365 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:53,694 # I shouldn't have let you go # 366 00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:56,605 # And now you're out of sight, yeah # 367 00:17:56,675 --> 00:18:00,975 # Show me how you want it to be # 368 00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:03,344 # Tell me, baby # 369 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:07,146 # 'Cause I need to know now what we've got # 370 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:12,350 # My loneliness is killing me and I # 371 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:16,224 # I must confess I still believe # 372 00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:17,523 # Still believe # 373 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:21,464 # When I'm not with you I lose my mind # 374 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:25,469 # Give me a sign # 375 00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:28,165 # Hit me, baby one more time # 376 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,867 # Oh, baby, baby # 377 00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:33,239 # Yeah, hey # 378 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:34,973 # Oh, baby, baby # 379 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,277 # Yeah, hey, yeah # 380 00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,046 # Oh, baby, baby # 381 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:44,613 # How was I supposed to know # 382 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:50,862 # Oh, pretty baby # 383 00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:57,493 # I shouldn't have let you go # 384 00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:02,529 # I must confess that my loneliness # 385 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:05,577 # Is killing me now # 386 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:09,410 # Don't you know I still believe # 387 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:13,042 # When I'm not with you I lose my mind # 388 00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:16,246 # Give me a sign # 389 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:19,722 # Hit me, baby one more time ## 390 00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:20,883 Rachel? 391 00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:23,519 Rachel, wake up. 392 00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:25,688 You Glee kids are impossible to work on. 393 00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:29,063 You're always moving around when you're under. 394 00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:30,761 Is this real life? 395 00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:48,878 Hey. Take my hoodie. You look cold. 396 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:53,584 - It's okay. Wait. You mean you don't like my new look? - Don't you think it's a bit much? 397 00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:57,220 I think that guy just broke up with his girlfriend over there just so he could stare at you. 398 00:19:57,296 --> 00:20:00,891 I'm just doing what you told me. Besides, it's not like when I went all sad-clown hooker... 399 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:03,093 and put on that ridiculous Grease catsuit. 400 00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:05,728 This is just like my regular look with the volume turned up. 401 00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:09,968 Ooh, baby, you can hit me as many times as you want, as long as you got that on. 402 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,636 How come all the gay guys always get the hottest chicks? 403 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,303 - Move it! - What? 404 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,779 You see what I'm talking about? They're personifying you. 405 00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:18,247 Objectifying. 406 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:20,649 Whatever. 407 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:24,086 Just tell me why it's okay for you to feel safer with me not on the football team, but... 408 00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:27,648 it's not okay for me to feel safer with you in your old reindeer sweaters. 409 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:31,162 Look. I see your point. In order for this relationship to work, we can't control each other. 410 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,097 So you have my blessing... 411 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,828 to rejoin the football team... if you can. 412 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,171 It looks like a Jewish cloud. 413 00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:45,833 What do you want for her? I'll give you anything. 414 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,971 I'll give you my house. I'll kill my parents, and I'll give you my house. 415 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,273 Wanky, wanky! 416 00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:56,487 - I kind of liked your old car. - Oh! 417 00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:59,786 That car was a metaphor for everything that was wrong with my life. 418 00:20:59,858 --> 00:21:02,520 My fear of change. 419 00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,995 That dragging muffler was like the chains of Marley's ghost. 420 00:21:06,064 --> 00:21:10,194 Oh, God. And now they're gone, and I feel like a free man! 421 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,703 By buying the same car as Carl? 422 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:14,363 His didn't have heated seats. 423 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:19,308 Come on, Emma. I'm just doing everything you said I should do. 424 00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:21,539 I'm loosening up, and- 425 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:24,173 I feel amazing. 426 00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:26,217 Let's take her for a spin. 427 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,219 Easy Listening] 428 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,221 Oh, this is my jam. 429 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:33,850 # Well, it's not that far to paradise # 430 00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:36,393 # At least it's not for me # 431 00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:40,227 # And if the wind is right we can sail away # 432 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,392 # And find tranquillity ## 433 00:21:44,603 --> 00:21:47,265 - Get out of the car. - Watch this. 434 00:21:47,339 --> 00:21:50,274 I'm taking this back to the dealer. Oh. Hey, home wrecker! 435 00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:52,572 Do I have to remind you that we are divorced? 436 00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:55,044 I am reminded every month when I get my spousal support check- 437 00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:59,311 the one that I know you can't send me if you're buying a car that you can't afford! 438 00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:01,848 Emma. 439 00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,588 You know what? Actually... 440 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:06,681 I think you should keep this car. 441 00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:10,387 You should enjoy it, you know, at least until they repossess it. 442 00:22:10,462 --> 00:22:13,590 But just don't buy any more big-ticket items, okay? 443 00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:15,132 Why is that? 444 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,260 Because someday you are gonna come to your senses, Will... 445 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,965 and you're gonna get over that little miss crazy pants... 446 00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:24,907 and you're gonna come back to the one woman who really knows how to love you. 447 00:22:26,445 --> 00:22:29,573 I just don't want you to have blown all of our savings when you do. 448 00:22:37,823 --> 00:22:39,120 Damn! 449 00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:45,729 Well, Rachel, congratulations. 450 00:22:45,797 --> 00:22:48,595 Normally you dress like the fantasy of a perverted Japanese businessman... 451 00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:50,635 with a very dark, specific fetish... 452 00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:52,602 but I actually dig this look. 453 00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:54,468 - Yay. - Thank you. 454 00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:58,236 I think what Santana's trying to say, Rachel- though I risk expulsion by saying so- 455 00:22:58,310 --> 00:23:01,438 is that it seems Britney Spears has really helped you blossom. 456 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,374 That's all. 457 00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:06,278 Wait. Rachel, is that true? 458 00:23:06,351 --> 00:23:08,683 I mean, you are sort of dressing differently. 459 00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:10,949 - Bouncy, bouncy, bounc- - Hey, hey. 460 00:23:11,022 --> 00:23:14,480 Look. All I know is that I had a very vivid Britney Spears fantasy at the dentist... 461 00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:18,154 and since then it's made me feel free to get out of my own way. 462 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:21,666 I think I've just always been afraid to dress like a pretty girl... 463 00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:23,792 because I've never really felt like one before. 464 00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:27,202 Now I realize it's okay to feel that way about yourself every now and then. 465 00:23:27,272 --> 00:23:29,172 Maybe it's a good thing. 466 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,141 It's such a good thing, I can't believe it. 467 00:23:32,677 --> 00:23:34,144 William, a word. 468 00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:39,144 You have got to be kidding me. 469 00:23:39,217 --> 00:23:42,118 I was headed to the library computers late last night... 470 00:23:42,187 --> 00:23:44,553 to score my Cheerios some cheap tickets on one of those... 471 00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:47,319 off-brand airlines with shoddy safety records. 472 00:23:47,392 --> 00:23:51,488 You know, to fly my J.V. Squad, so if the plane did go down, it wouldn't be that big a deal. 473 00:23:51,563 --> 00:23:53,963 But then, horror! 474 00:23:54,032 --> 00:23:56,023 Rachel, are you aware you've never been hotter... 475 00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:58,069 than you are right now dressed as Britney Spears? 476 00:23:58,136 --> 00:23:59,967 Thank you. 477 00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:02,506 - Can I put some clothes on, please? - No. 478 00:24:02,574 --> 00:24:05,805 I want you to feel the beads of your own sweaty, depraved stank... 479 00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:07,674 dripping down your butt crack. 480 00:24:07,746 --> 00:24:11,204 Rachel Berry was dressing like Britney Spears, and I was titillated. 481 00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:13,877 Oh, dear God. Please don't ever say that word again. 482 00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:15,817 Can I go now, please? 483 00:24:15,887 --> 00:24:19,345 You're gonna have to turn around when I stand up... 484 00:24:19,424 --> 00:24:21,289 if you know what I mean. 485 00:24:22,894 --> 00:24:25,863 That is really gross, Sue, but they're kids. Hormones. 486 00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:28,866 William, I realize you're still mourning the loss... 487 00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:31,494 of that bony, redheaded hominid you're in love with. 488 00:24:31,570 --> 00:24:33,162 I understand that. 489 00:24:33,238 --> 00:24:36,105 I also understand that you've bought a brand-new car to impress her. 490 00:24:36,174 --> 00:24:37,937 You're flailing, William. 491 00:24:38,009 --> 00:24:40,341 Now, I'm secretly hoping it's a midlife crisis... 492 00:24:40,412 --> 00:24:42,243 which means you're halfway to an early death... 493 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:44,441 affording me a blissful, demented convalescence... 494 00:24:44,516 --> 00:24:46,711 spent peeing on your grave. 495 00:24:46,785 --> 00:24:48,878 What's your point, Sue? 496 00:24:48,954 --> 00:24:51,218 Don't let your own recklessness blind you to the fact... 497 00:24:51,289 --> 00:24:54,747 that Britney Spears is a genius pop culture provocateur... 498 00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:58,694 and a gateway drug to every out-of-control impulse ever created. 499 00:24:58,763 --> 00:25:01,755 This school is a powder keg of sexual deviance, William. 500 00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:05,963 And in my office, I have a chair with a naked butt-sweat stain to prove it. 501 00:25:06,037 --> 00:25:10,133 I'm not kiddin'. It's like an inkblot test, that butt-sweat stain. 502 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:12,776 Stare into it, William... 503 00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:16,211 and you will see the light of all that is good go out of the world. 504 00:25:20,118 --> 00:25:23,485 Wait just a second now. You look more confused than ever. 505 00:25:23,555 --> 00:25:27,286 Is your Glee Club doing Britney Spears music? 506 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,725 Is that why Rachel was wearing that inappropriate outfit? 507 00:25:29,794 --> 00:25:30,726 No. 508 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:34,824 No. We are not doing Britney. 509 00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:36,561 Okay. 510 00:25:36,635 --> 00:25:37,966 Just checking. 511 00:25:47,112 --> 00:25:49,740 - - I'm serious. You should put ranch dressing on it. 512 00:25:49,814 --> 00:25:52,510 - On pizza? - Yeah. It's delicious. You should try it. 513 00:25:52,584 --> 00:25:55,678 I'm 100% in love with you right now. 514 00:25:56,855 --> 00:25:59,289 - Hey, Britney. - Oh, hey, Artie. 515 00:25:59,357 --> 00:26:02,485 Girl, you are such a fool for breaking up with such a sweetheart. 516 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,462 I know, Britney. Artie, I'm sorry. 517 00:26:05,530 --> 00:26:07,691 And I'm stronger. 518 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:09,992 I'm serious. You're hot. 519 00:26:12,337 --> 00:26:15,067 # Ooh, hey, yeah # 520 00:26:18,743 --> 00:26:20,540 # Hush, just stop # 521 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:25,179 # There's nothing you can do or say # 522 00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:27,479 # Baby # 523 00:26:27,552 --> 00:26:30,146 # I've had enough # 524 00:26:30,221 --> 00:26:33,918 # I'm not your property as from today # 525 00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:36,458 # Baby # 526 00:26:36,528 --> 00:26:42,125 # You might think that I won't make it # 527 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,134 # On my own # 528 00:26:44,202 --> 00:26:49,902 # But now I'm stronger than yesterday # 529 00:26:49,975 --> 00:26:53,672 # Now it's nothing but my way # 530 00:26:53,745 --> 00:27:00,309 # My loneliness ain't killing me no more # 531 00:27:00,385 --> 00:27:05,220 # I- I'm stronger # 532 00:27:06,658 --> 00:27:09,525 # Oh, yeah Here I go, on my own # 533 00:27:11,963 --> 00:27:14,193 # I don't need nobody Better off alone # 534 00:27:16,501 --> 00:27:18,901 # Here I go, on my own now # 535 00:27:20,739 --> 00:27:23,401 # I don't need nobody Not anybody # 536 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:28,108 # Here I go # 537 00:27:31,082 --> 00:27:33,073 # Here I go Here I go # 538 00:27:33,151 --> 00:27:35,381 # Here I go # 539 00:27:35,453 --> 00:27:39,287 # Stronger than yesterday # 540 00:27:40,425 --> 00:27:43,553 # It's nothing but my way # 541 00:27:43,628 --> 00:27:49,066 # My loneliness ain't killing me no more # 542 00:27:49,134 --> 00:27:50,533 # No more # 543 00:27:50,602 --> 00:27:55,301 # I- I'm stronger ## 544 00:27:59,177 --> 00:28:01,441 Britney. 545 00:28:05,950 --> 00:28:11,081 - What are you doing? - Oh. I'm, uh, going to run some laps. 546 00:28:11,156 --> 00:28:13,317 Gonna get back in shape and back on the team. 547 00:28:13,391 --> 00:28:16,087 That's what I came to talk to you about. I want on the team too. 548 00:28:16,161 --> 00:28:18,152 Every day, Tina and Mike's Asian fusion grows stronger. 549 00:28:18,229 --> 00:28:21,926 Look. I want to help you, dude, but... 550 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,093 kind of need to take care of myself right now. 551 00:28:25,303 --> 00:28:26,793 I'm sorry. 552 00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:30,474 I had a vision at the dentist. 553 00:28:30,542 --> 00:28:34,672 You and I were out on the field with the team, playing football. We were unstoppable. 554 00:28:34,746 --> 00:28:38,614 I just know that if we can show what I can do to Coach B, she'd put me on the team. 555 00:28:38,683 --> 00:28:40,446 Show me what? 556 00:28:41,419 --> 00:28:43,353 I- I wanted to ask you... 557 00:28:43,421 --> 00:28:45,480 to reconsider putting me on the football team. 558 00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:47,821 - I'm not with him on this one. - Well, you should be. 559 00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:50,258 I need you to help him get his uniform. 560 00:28:50,328 --> 00:28:51,693 What? 561 00:28:51,763 --> 00:28:54,596 Well, don't just stare at me like a donkey with a wooden leg. 562 00:28:54,666 --> 00:28:57,829 Go see the equipment manager, and you boys get out on the field. 563 00:28:57,902 --> 00:28:59,631 Practice starts in five minutes. 564 00:28:59,704 --> 00:29:01,331 Thanks, Coach. We won't let you down. 565 00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:02,873 Well, come on. Go! 566 00:29:02,941 --> 00:29:05,000 Those are on backwards. 567 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,943 I was pretty sure Artie's legs don't work. 568 00:29:12,016 --> 00:29:15,144 - Did you get a leg transplant? - Nope. My teammates can push my chair like a battering ram. 569 00:29:15,220 --> 00:29:16,778 Yep. There's no rules against it. We checked. 570 00:29:16,855 --> 00:29:19,187 - And I have Britney Spears to thank. - You're welcome. 571 00:29:19,257 --> 00:29:21,225 Britney plus nitrous gave me an amazing idea. 572 00:29:21,292 --> 00:29:24,955 And it gave me the nerve to tell Coach Beiste that Finn and I really want to be on the team. 573 00:29:25,029 --> 00:29:27,361 - Wait. You're back on the football team? - Yeah. 574 00:29:27,432 --> 00:29:30,060 Suddenly you're way hotter to me. Weird. 575 00:29:30,135 --> 00:29:33,332 Wait. I don't get it. How come everyone's having Britney Spears fantasies? 576 00:29:33,404 --> 00:29:35,565 The nitrous oxide dentists use is a mild hallucinogen. 577 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,574 Studies have proven that it induces vivid dreams- 578 00:29:37,642 --> 00:29:39,371 often the last thing the patient thinks of. 579 00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:41,742 The subconscious moves to the forefront. Since we've all been thinking... 580 00:29:41,813 --> 00:29:43,906 so much about Britney, it only stands to reason. 581 00:29:43,982 --> 00:29:47,349 - Okay, guys. Listen up. - Mr. Schue, if I may- 582 00:29:47,418 --> 00:29:50,546 Kurt, I overheard what you guys were just talking about, and I know what you're gonna say. 583 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,590 The answer is no. 584 00:29:52,657 --> 00:29:55,820 - No, I'm not gonna stand in the way anymore. 585 00:29:55,894 --> 00:29:59,557 If you guys want to do Britney at this year's homecoming assembly, I'm fine with it. 586 00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:00,893 - Good. - Yes! 587 00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:03,331 - I know. Oh. 588 00:30:03,401 --> 00:30:05,392 And, more than that... 589 00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:08,166 I am going to perform with you. 590 00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:12,234 Right? 591 00:30:19,784 --> 00:30:22,514 I always thought the boys' locker room would be all sexy... 592 00:30:22,587 --> 00:30:24,578 but actually smells like feet in here. 593 00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:26,920 Oh, Rachel, you can't be in here. 594 00:30:26,991 --> 00:30:28,925 You changed back to your old clothes. 595 00:30:28,993 --> 00:30:32,520 I just want you to know that I heard everything that you said... 596 00:30:32,597 --> 00:30:36,397 and that I respect your needs, and I'll do anything to make you feel safe and happy. 597 00:30:36,467 --> 00:30:38,059 Cool. 598 00:30:38,136 --> 00:30:40,229 - Well, thanks. I gotta go. - Wait. 599 00:30:41,272 --> 00:30:42,739 I mean... 600 00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:45,867 d-don't you want to make me feel safe and happy too? 601 00:30:45,944 --> 00:30:48,208 Well, yeah. Yeah. Sure. 602 00:30:48,279 --> 00:30:51,043 Wait. Wait. Do you want me to quit football? 603 00:30:51,115 --> 00:30:53,879 Look. How am I supposed to trust that you're not just gonna stray again? 604 00:30:53,952 --> 00:30:57,820 Remember your little fling with Brittany and Santana? I do. 605 00:30:57,889 --> 00:30:59,447 All right. Let's face it, Finn. 606 00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:03,153 The only way that this relationship is gonna work is if we're both losers. 607 00:31:03,228 --> 00:31:05,196 Okay. Come here. 608 00:31:06,631 --> 00:31:10,089 This is how it's gonna happen. I'm gonna be quarterback again. 609 00:31:10,168 --> 00:31:14,104 Then I'm gonna throw a touchdown in our first game and then point to you in the stands... 610 00:31:14,172 --> 00:31:16,732 so that everybody in the school knows you're my girlfriend. 611 00:31:16,808 --> 00:31:20,073 - All right? - It's very romantic, but- 612 00:31:21,579 --> 00:31:23,103 I don't know. 613 00:31:25,516 --> 00:31:29,418 Rachel, you can't ask me to choose between you and football. 614 00:31:29,487 --> 00:31:31,182 Well, I am. 615 00:31:46,237 --> 00:31:49,001 Why don't you sit at the top and wave your big foamy finger. 616 00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:51,337 Yeah? Up there. 617 00:31:51,409 --> 00:31:53,343 It's so, so exciting! 618 00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:57,946 - You know, I can get you backstage if you want. - Oh. Hey. 619 00:31:58,016 --> 00:32:00,007 - Hey. - You're all dressed up. 620 00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:01,984 You look like a cast member of Kids Incorporated. 621 00:32:02,053 --> 00:32:06,012 I really want to loosen up a bit, so I'm helping the kids do Britney. 622 00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:08,115 - Outrageous, right? - Yeah. 623 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,725 Showtime. 624 00:32:12,263 --> 00:32:14,527 Sit down. There's nothing to stand up and cheer about. 625 00:32:14,599 --> 00:32:16,191 Hey, Coach. 626 00:32:16,267 --> 00:32:19,862 The Glee Club's doing Britney Spears for the assembly. I just found out. 627 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,204 Becky, you're on red alert. If you see any awkward teenage frottage... 628 00:32:25,276 --> 00:32:27,744 you perform that citizen's arrest we practiced. 629 00:32:27,812 --> 00:32:29,370 Got it, Coach. 630 00:32:33,451 --> 00:32:36,386 Quiet, please, children. Quiet now. 631 00:32:36,454 --> 00:32:40,151 First, students who ate the ravioli today... 632 00:32:40,224 --> 00:32:46,185 and are not up to date on their tetanus shots should see the nurse immediately. 633 00:32:46,264 --> 00:32:49,358 Welcome to our homecoming pep assembly. 634 00:32:49,434 --> 00:32:53,268 Because of last week's grisly train derailment... 635 00:32:53,338 --> 00:32:57,832 the Dulcimer Club is on hiatus until further notice. 636 00:32:57,909 --> 00:33:00,571 But do we ever have a treat for you. 637 00:33:00,645 --> 00:33:04,342 Fresh off their last-place finish at the regionals... 638 00:33:04,415 --> 00:33:07,851 please give it up for the New Directions. 639 00:33:15,159 --> 00:33:17,093 # Baby, can't you see # 640 00:33:17,161 --> 00:33:18,924 # I'm calling # 641 00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:22,524 # A guy like you should wear a warning # 642 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,431 # You're dangerous # 643 00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:26,470 # I'm lovin' it # 644 00:33:26,537 --> 00:33:27,970 I love Britney Spears! 645 00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:33,076 # Too high Can't come down # 646 00:33:33,144 --> 00:33:37,444 - # Losing my head Spinning round and - Wolf Whistle] 647 00:33:37,515 --> 00:33:42,214 # Oh, do you feel me now # 648 00:33:42,286 --> 00:33:46,916 # With a taste of your lips I'm on a ride # 649 00:33:46,991 --> 00:33:49,118 - I want to be that hot. - # You're toxic # 650 00:33:49,193 --> 00:33:50,421 # I'm slipping under # 651 00:33:50,495 --> 00:33:53,953 # With a taste of a poison paradise # 652 00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,897 # I'm addicted to you # 653 00:33:55,967 --> 00:33:58,731 # Don't you know that you're toxic # 654 00:34:00,905 --> 00:34:05,842 # And I love what you do Don't you know that you're toxic # 655 00:34:06,544 --> 00:34:08,944 Take it off! 656 00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:15,079 - Yes! - # It's getting late # 657 00:34:15,153 --> 00:34:16,984 # To give you up # 658 00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:20,456 # I took a sip from my devil's cup # 659 00:34:20,525 --> 00:34:24,484 # Slowly It's taking over me # 660 00:34:27,198 --> 00:34:31,635 # Too high, can't come down It's in the air # 661 00:34:31,702 --> 00:34:34,830 - Mr. Schue, let me be your Britney! - # And it's all around # 662 00:34:36,274 --> 00:34:39,266 # Oh, can you feel me now # 663 00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:41,272 # Oh # 664 00:34:41,345 --> 00:34:44,508 # With a taste of your lips I'm on a ride # 665 00:34:44,582 --> 00:34:46,516 - # On a ride # - # You're toxic # 666 00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:48,677 # I'm slipping under # 667 00:34:48,753 --> 00:34:51,847 - Oh! - # With a taste of a poison paradise # 668 00:34:51,923 --> 00:34:54,790 - # I'm addicted to you # - It's so sexy! 669 00:34:54,859 --> 00:34:56,292 It's so sexy! 670 00:34:58,896 --> 00:35:01,626 # I'm addicted to you # 671 00:35:01,699 --> 00:35:04,167 - Mr. Schue, I want your babies! - # Intoxicate me now # 672 00:35:04,235 --> 00:35:05,998 Don't stop doing that! 673 00:35:06,070 --> 00:35:09,403 Don't stop doing that! Yes! Yes! 674 00:35:09,474 --> 00:35:11,032 # I think I'm ready now # 675 00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:13,009 - Yeah! - # Intoxicate me now # 676 00:35:13,077 --> 00:35:15,136 - # With your lovin' now # - Uh-oh. 677 00:35:15,213 --> 00:35:16,578 # I think I'm ready # 678 00:35:16,647 --> 00:35:18,171 # I think I'm ready now ## 679 00:35:18,249 --> 00:35:21,116 It's a Britney Spears sex riot. 680 00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,296 Run the other way! 681 00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:07,627 How you doing, Sue? 682 00:36:07,698 --> 00:36:11,134 Not sure if you heard, William, but my spinal column was ruptured in a sex riot. 683 00:36:11,202 --> 00:36:14,069 Sue, you pulled the alarm. Everything was going fine. 684 00:36:14,138 --> 00:36:16,265 You know, William, that's what one Hubert Humphrey said... 685 00:36:16,340 --> 00:36:19,605 back in 1968 at the start of the Democratic National Convention. 686 00:36:19,677 --> 00:36:21,804 But then hippies put acid in everyone's bourbon... 687 00:36:21,879 --> 00:36:24,973 and when an updraft revealed Lady Bird Johnson's tramp stamp... 688 00:36:25,049 --> 00:36:27,313 and tattoos above her ovaries... 689 00:36:27,385 --> 00:36:29,580 Mayor Richard J. Daley became so incensed with sexual rage... 690 00:36:29,654 --> 00:36:31,622 that he punched his own wife in the face... 691 00:36:31,689 --> 00:36:33,657 and spent the next hour screaming "Sex party!"... 692 00:36:33,724 --> 00:36:36,454 into the microphones of all three major networks. 693 00:36:36,527 --> 00:36:38,324 Okay. I'm pretty sure none of that happened. 694 00:36:38,396 --> 00:36:41,627 You can expect a call very soon from my lawyer- Gloria Allred. 695 00:36:41,699 --> 00:36:44,429 I'm gonna sue the pants off you, Will. 696 00:36:44,502 --> 00:36:48,836 I'm gonna take your house, your car, your extensive collection of vests. 697 00:36:48,906 --> 00:36:52,433 I mean, seriously. You wear more vests than the cast of Blossom. 698 00:36:53,711 --> 00:36:55,736 And I'll see you in court. 699 00:37:00,084 --> 00:37:01,676 Emma. 700 00:37:03,654 --> 00:37:05,815 Look. What I did was a little weird. I know that. 701 00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:08,290 It was inappropriate for me to do Britney with the kids. 702 00:37:08,359 --> 00:37:11,624 I just thought you wanted me to be less uptight. 703 00:37:12,730 --> 00:37:14,664 Will, I just wanted you to relax. 704 00:37:16,567 --> 00:37:18,330 You know, not stop being you. 705 00:37:20,104 --> 00:37:22,129 I know you're frustrated. 706 00:37:22,206 --> 00:37:24,140 You know, Terri's still on your case. 707 00:37:24,208 --> 00:37:26,506 You lost at regionals. Glee's still the bottom pickle of the barrel. 708 00:37:26,577 --> 00:37:29,239 - You and Carl. - Yeah. 709 00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:31,677 Me and Carl. 710 00:37:31,749 --> 00:37:33,774 Especially me and Carl. 711 00:37:33,851 --> 00:37:35,682 Look. 712 00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:38,347 Have you ever noticed that Britney Spears only makes great music... 713 00:37:38,422 --> 00:37:41,687 when she's not chasing down paparazzi? 714 00:37:41,759 --> 00:37:44,557 She can't just swallow a grenade and let her talent explode all over the wall. 715 00:37:44,629 --> 00:37:46,620 She's gotta rein it in, just like you do. 716 00:37:46,697 --> 00:37:49,291 - You're such a great teacher, Will. - Ah- 717 00:37:49,367 --> 00:37:51,198 No. Probably the best in the whole school. 718 00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:53,703 So why would you want to be someone else... 719 00:37:53,771 --> 00:37:55,966 when the someone that you already are is so amazing? 720 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,531 Because the boring someone I already am... 721 00:38:00,077 --> 00:38:01,738 wasn't good enough for you. 722 00:38:05,983 --> 00:38:07,575 Hey. Where you going? 723 00:38:08,619 --> 00:38:11,179 To return that car. 724 00:38:13,157 --> 00:38:16,092 U.S. History? Crap. I forgot I was taking that. 725 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,821 Congrats, Finn. 726 00:38:17,895 --> 00:38:21,558 You're back on the team. I'm head cheerleader again. 727 00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:24,260 Some kind of symmetry. Don't you think? 728 00:38:24,335 --> 00:38:27,702 With all the nastiness between you and I behind us... 729 00:38:27,772 --> 00:38:29,535 I think we should be together. 730 00:38:29,607 --> 00:38:31,905 We'd be a shoo-in for homecoming king and queen. 731 00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:37,346 So, what do you say? You and me, 8:00, Breadsticks? 732 00:38:38,683 --> 00:38:41,675 Look. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have feelings for you. 733 00:38:41,752 --> 00:38:43,481 Probably always will. 734 00:38:46,624 --> 00:38:49,218 But I'm not gonna get back together with you. 735 00:38:49,293 --> 00:38:52,820 There's someone else, and you know who that is. I'm asking you to respect that. 736 00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:55,488 I'm sorry. 737 00:39:05,843 --> 00:39:08,778 I said what you wanted me to. He shot me down. 738 00:39:10,014 --> 00:39:11,572 So, congrats. 739 00:39:11,649 --> 00:39:13,981 Looks like he really loves you. 740 00:39:19,623 --> 00:39:22,057 All right. Rachel? 741 00:39:22,126 --> 00:39:24,253 I have a song that I prepared for the class. 742 00:39:24,328 --> 00:39:26,296 Sorry, Rachel. No Britney. 743 00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:29,128 I'm really happy that her music has inspired so many of you... 744 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,964 even if that inspiration was brought about by a dangerous narcotic. 745 00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:34,061 And I think we've all come to... 746 00:39:34,138 --> 00:39:37,630 appreciate her music and celebrity so much more this week. 747 00:39:37,708 --> 00:39:40,575 But honestly, she's just not us. 748 00:39:40,644 --> 00:39:44,341 I am devastated. I can't believe we only did one Britney number. 749 00:39:44,415 --> 00:39:47,612 I was actually gonna do something from our original assignment last week- 750 00:39:47,685 --> 00:39:51,746 adult contemporary- but this is just a little bit more young adult. 751 00:39:51,822 --> 00:39:53,153 Oh. 752 00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:55,192 Great, Rachel. Well, let's hear it. 753 00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,627 I'd like to dedicate this song to my boyfriend. 754 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:05,134 Finn, I was wrong. 755 00:40:05,202 --> 00:40:07,170 I shouldn't try to control you. 756 00:40:08,339 --> 00:40:10,432 I've just- I've never been this happy before... 757 00:40:10,508 --> 00:40:15,946 and I realize that I was trying to hold on to how you were making me feel so much... 758 00:40:16,013 --> 00:40:18,846 that I was strangling you in my hands like a little bird. 759 00:40:18,916 --> 00:40:21,942 I get now that, in order for this relationship to work... 760 00:40:22,019 --> 00:40:25,477 I have to open up my hands and let you fly free. 761 00:40:25,556 --> 00:40:27,490 Finn can fly? 762 00:40:27,558 --> 00:40:29,025 - Really? - Wait. 763 00:40:29,093 --> 00:40:31,493 I thought I was the only one getting the solos from now on. 764 00:40:31,562 --> 00:40:34,554 Next week I'm going to be performing a musical number by Kesha. 765 00:40:34,632 --> 00:40:35,065 - Shh. 766 00:40:35,066 --> 00:40:36,828 - Shh. 767 00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,369 # When I was younger # 768 00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:51,677 # I saw my daddy cry # 769 00:40:51,749 --> 00:40:54,309 # And curse at the wind # 770 00:40:55,619 --> 00:40:59,385 # He broke his own heart as I watched # 771 00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:04,622 # As he tried to reassemble it # 772 00:41:06,096 --> 00:41:10,032 # And my mama swore she would # 773 00:41:10,100 --> 00:41:15,128 # Never let herself forget # 774 00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:20,069 # And that was the day that I promised # 775 00:41:20,144 --> 00:41:22,738 # I'd never sing of love # 776 00:41:22,813 --> 00:41:25,577 # If it does not exist # 777 00:41:25,649 --> 00:41:27,048 # But, darling # 778 00:41:27,117 --> 00:41:32,248 # You are the only exception # 779 00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:37,522 # You are the only exception # 780 00:41:37,595 --> 00:41:42,362 # You are the only exception # 781 00:41:42,433 --> 00:41:47,894 # You are the only exception # 782 00:41:47,972 --> 00:41:52,966 # Oh, oh # 783 00:41:53,043 --> 00:41:57,412 # Oh, oh # 784 00:41:57,481 --> 00:42:00,780 # I've got a tight grip on reality # 785 00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:07,950 # But I can't let go of what's in front of me here # 786 00:42:08,025 --> 00:42:13,463 # I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up # 787 00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:17,490 # Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream # 788 00:42:17,568 --> 00:42:23,006 # Oh, oh, oh, oh # 789 00:42:24,241 --> 00:42:29,474 # You are the only exception # 790 00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:34,917 # You are the only exception # 791 00:42:34,985 --> 00:42:39,649 # You are the only exception # 792 00:42:39,723 --> 00:42:45,320 # You are the only exception # 793 00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:50,459 # You are the only exception # 794 00:42:50,534 --> 00:42:55,164 # You are the only exception # 795 00:42:55,239 --> 00:43:01,200 # And I'm on my way to believing # 796 00:43:06,083 --> 00:43:13,251 # And I'm on my way to believing ## 797 00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:54,620 ENGLISH - US - SDH