1
00:00:02,775 --> 00:00:04,042
Whatcha doin' there?
2
00:00:04,048 --> 00:00:05,983
Working on a new plan
to catch the roadrunner?
3
00:00:05,984 --> 00:00:11,421
The humorous implication being
that I am Wile E. Coyote?
4
00:00:11,422 --> 00:00:14,074
Yes.
5
00:00:14,075 --> 00:00:16,660
And this is a schematic
for a bird-trapping device
6
00:00:16,661 --> 00:00:20,614
that will ultimately backfire
and cause me physical injury?
7
00:00:20,615 --> 00:00:22,899
Yes.
8
00:00:24,869 --> 00:00:26,336
(quick chuckle)
9
00:00:27,755 --> 00:00:29,039
What I'm doing here
10
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,925
is trying to determine
when I'm going to die.
11
00:00:31,926 --> 00:00:35,462
A lot of people are working
on that research.
12
00:00:35,463 --> 00:00:38,215
So what is all this?
13
00:00:38,216 --> 00:00:41,101
My family history
factoring in longevity,
14
00:00:41,102 --> 00:00:43,520
propensity for disease,
et cetera.
15
00:00:43,521 --> 00:00:44,588
Interesting.
16
00:00:44,589 --> 00:00:46,773
Cause of death for
Uncle Carl was KBB.
17
00:00:46,774 --> 00:00:47,808
What's "KBB"?
18
00:00:47,809 --> 00:00:51,145
"Killed by badger."
19
00:00:51,146 --> 00:00:52,880
How's that?
20
00:00:52,881 --> 00:00:54,948
It was Thanksgiving.
21
00:00:54,949 --> 00:00:56,950
Uncle Carl said, "I think
22
00:00:56,951 --> 00:00:59,586
"there's a badger living
in our chimney.
23
00:00:59,587 --> 00:01:01,488
Hand me that flashlight."
24
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:03,941
Those were the last words
25
00:01:03,942 --> 00:01:05,742
he ever spoke to us.
26
00:01:05,743 --> 00:01:07,127
I don't think you need
27
00:01:07,128 --> 00:01:10,130
to worry about death by badgers
being hereditary.
28
00:01:10,131 --> 00:01:11,598
Not true.
29
00:01:11,599 --> 00:01:14,301
The fight or flight instinct
is coded genetically.
30
00:01:14,302 --> 00:01:18,322
Instead of fleeing, he chose
to fight barehanded
31
00:01:18,323 --> 00:01:20,974
against a brawny member
of the weasel family.
32
00:01:20,975 --> 00:01:24,228
Who's to say that I don't share
that flawed DNA?
33
00:01:24,229 --> 00:01:26,796
You can always get a badger
and find out.
34
00:01:27,649 --> 00:01:29,650
(quick chuckle)
35
00:01:30,652 --> 00:01:32,402
But seriously,
36
00:01:32,403 --> 00:01:35,072
even if I disregard
the Uncle Carl factor,
37
00:01:35,073 --> 00:01:37,524
at best I have 60 years left.
38
00:01:37,525 --> 00:01:40,127
That long, huh?
39
00:01:40,128 --> 00:01:41,778
60 only takes me to here.
40
00:01:41,779 --> 00:01:43,980
I need to get to here.
41
00:01:43,981 --> 00:01:45,832
What's there?
42
00:01:45,833 --> 00:01:48,619
The earliest estimate
of the singularity,
43
00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:50,837
when man will be able
to transfer his consciousness
44
00:01:50,838 --> 00:01:53,557
into machines
and achieve immortality.
45
00:01:53,558 --> 00:01:56,977
So, you're upset
about missing out
46
00:01:56,978 --> 00:01:59,696
on becoming some sort of
freakish self-aware robot?
47
00:01:59,697 --> 00:02:02,716
By this much.
48
00:02:03,851 --> 00:02:04,885
Tough break.
49
00:02:04,886 --> 00:02:06,002
You want eggs?
50
00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:07,771
You don't get it, Leonard.
51
00:02:07,772 --> 00:02:10,357
I'm going to miss so much--
52
00:02:10,358 --> 00:02:15,896
the unified field theory,
cold fusion, the dogapus.
53
00:02:15,897 --> 00:02:17,514
What's a dogapus?
54
00:02:17,515 --> 00:02:20,701
The hybrid dog and octopus.
55
00:02:20,702 --> 00:02:22,669
Man's underwater best friend.
56
00:02:24,789 --> 00:02:26,240
Is somebody
working on that?
57
00:02:26,241 --> 00:02:27,524
I was going to.
58
00:02:27,525 --> 00:02:31,194
I planned on giving it to myself
on my 300th birthday.
59
00:02:31,195 --> 00:02:33,247
Wait a minute.
You hate dogs.
60
00:02:33,248 --> 00:02:36,583
A dogapus can play fetch
with eight balls.
61
00:02:36,584 --> 00:02:38,268
No one can hate that.
62
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:43,340
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
63
00:02:43,341 --> 00:02:46,810
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
64
00:02:46,811 --> 00:02:48,528
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
65
00:02:48,529 --> 00:02:51,131
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
66
00:02:51,132 --> 00:02:53,767
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
67
00:02:53,768 --> 00:02:56,153
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
68
00:02:56,154 --> 00:02:58,054
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
69
00:02:58,055 --> 00:02:58,607
♪ Bang! ♪
70
00:02:58,617 --> 00:03:02,217
The Big Bang Theory 4x02
The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification
Original Air Date on September 30, 2010
71
00:03:02,227 --> 00:03:04,127
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
72
00:03:04,222 --> 00:03:04,922
What do we owe you?
73
00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:07,021
It came to $28.17.
74
00:03:07,022 --> 00:03:08,155
Let's say six bucks apiece.
75
00:03:08,156 --> 00:03:09,907
Here you go.
76
00:03:09,908 --> 00:03:12,560
Thank you.
77
00:03:14,779 --> 00:03:17,281
What?
78
00:03:17,282 --> 00:03:18,582
Never mind. I got it.
79
00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:20,117
Oh, you wanted me to pay.
80
00:03:20,118 --> 00:03:22,369
- It's no big deal.
- No, no, no, no. You're right.
81
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,788
We're not going out anymore;
I should pay for myself.
82
00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:27,091
(both snickering)
83
00:03:27,092 --> 00:03:28,759
What?
84
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,078
He said, "If he had
woman parts,
85
00:03:31,079 --> 00:03:34,665
he'd eat for free
the rest of his life""
86
00:03:34,666 --> 00:03:37,851
Yeah, but you wouldn't be able
to talk to yourself.
87
00:03:40,105 --> 00:03:42,489
I'm a little low on cash.
88
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,575
- How much you got?
- Nothing.
89
00:03:44,576 --> 00:03:46,110
How can you walk
around with no money?
90
00:03:46,111 --> 00:03:47,761
I'm cute. I get by.
91
00:03:47,762 --> 00:03:49,530
It's okay,
you can owe me.
92
00:03:49,531 --> 00:03:50,764
Thank you.
Sheldon, six bucks.
93
00:03:50,765 --> 00:03:54,535
No, thank you.
I'm not eating pizza tonight.
94
00:03:54,536 --> 00:03:55,619
But it's Thursday.
95
00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:57,270
Thursday's pizza night.
96
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,355
Not for me.
97
00:03:58,356 --> 00:04:01,441
Thursday is now Cruciferous
Vegetable Night.
98
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:04,795
Tonight's selection:
Brussels sprouts.
99
00:04:04,796 --> 00:04:05,913
Really?
100
00:04:05,914 --> 00:04:08,632
You're changing the
Sheldonian calendar?
101
00:04:08,633 --> 00:04:11,752
- It's a small price to pay.
- For what?
102
00:04:11,753 --> 00:04:14,288
- No, no, don't ask.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
103
00:04:14,289 --> 00:04:16,590
In order to live long enough
to fuse my consciousness
104
00:04:16,591 --> 00:04:19,226
with cybernetics,
I need to change my diet.
105
00:04:19,227 --> 00:04:21,478
Wait. Cybernetics is
robot stuff, right?
106
00:04:21,479 --> 00:04:22,462
Correct.
107
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:23,897
So you want to turn yourself
108
00:04:23,898 --> 00:04:24,965
into some sort of robot?
109
00:04:24,966 --> 00:04:27,167
Essentially, yes.
110
00:04:27,168 --> 00:04:28,435
Okay, here's my question.
111
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:29,853
Didn't you already do that?
112
00:04:29,854 --> 00:04:31,155
No.
113
00:04:32,574 --> 00:04:34,825
Flattering, but sadly, no.
114
00:04:34,826 --> 00:04:38,311
I'm also planning
to begin an exercise regimen
115
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,748
designed to strengthen
my cardiovascular system.
116
00:04:40,749 --> 00:04:43,000
AKA jogging.
117
00:04:43,001 --> 00:04:44,585
Wait. Honey,
have you ever run before?
118
00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:45,853
Certainly.
119
00:04:45,854 --> 00:04:50,074
I've run from bullies, dogs,
angry chickens...
120
00:04:51,009 --> 00:04:53,711
and one particularly
persistent P.E. teacher
121
00:04:53,712 --> 00:04:56,997
determined to bend me over
and give me a scoliosis test.
122
00:05:00,685 --> 00:05:02,102
You're right.
Penny jogs.
123
00:05:02,103 --> 00:05:03,654
Maybe you guys
can run together.
124
00:05:03,655 --> 00:05:06,023
That's an excellent idea.
125
00:05:08,543 --> 00:05:09,777
Yeah, if we chat,
126
00:05:09,778 --> 00:05:12,012
it will create the illusion
of time going faster.
127
00:05:12,013 --> 00:05:14,014
No, it won't.
128
00:05:15,066 --> 00:05:17,201
Um, how does he know I jog?
129
00:05:17,202 --> 00:05:21,521
Oh, he watches you from his car
with high-powered binoculars.
130
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,374
Oh, my God, that is so creepy!
131
00:05:23,375 --> 00:05:25,042
I know!
132
00:05:28,413 --> 00:05:30,748
And he says he's
not gonna stop.
133
00:05:33,635 --> 00:05:37,388
Then see a shrink
and figure out how
to talk to women.
134
00:05:39,474 --> 00:05:40,540
(knocking)
135
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:41,558
(Sheldon groans)
136
00:05:41,559 --> 00:05:43,260
(knocking continues)
137
00:05:43,261 --> 00:05:45,045
(groans)
138
00:05:45,046 --> 00:05:46,730
(knocking)
139
00:05:46,731 --> 00:05:48,432
(loud groan)
140
00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:50,517
What the hell?
141
00:05:53,571 --> 00:05:54,855
What's the matter?
142
00:05:54,856 --> 00:05:57,891
I have pain radiating
from my navel
143
00:05:57,892 --> 00:05:59,710
to my lower right abdomen.
144
00:05:59,711 --> 00:06:01,779
I'm nauseated
and feverish.
145
00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:04,698
I believe I may have cholera.
146
00:06:04,699 --> 00:06:07,000
There's no cholera
in Pasadena.
147
00:06:07,001 --> 00:06:08,052
Just like last summer,
148
00:06:08,053 --> 00:06:10,120
when there
was no malaria
in Pasadena.
149
00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:11,505
Well, if it's not cholera,
150
00:06:11,506 --> 00:06:14,407
then based on a quick
Internet search,
151
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:17,244
the other explanations in
decreasing order of likelihood
152
00:06:17,245 --> 00:06:21,131
are Hirschsprung's Disease,
botulism, a 30-foot tapeworm
153
00:06:21,132 --> 00:06:25,052
or accidental ingestion
of chrysanthemum blossoms.
154
00:06:25,053 --> 00:06:28,856
When would you have accidentally
eaten chrysanthemum blossoms?
155
00:06:28,857 --> 00:06:30,441
It's part of an
unlikely scenario
156
00:06:30,442 --> 00:06:33,093
that involves sleepwalking
and a 24-hour flower mart
157
00:06:33,094 --> 00:06:35,312
with a less-than-
vigilant proprietor.
158
00:06:35,313 --> 00:06:37,764
Oh, Lord, my belly!
159
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,616
Ever had your
appendix out?
160
00:06:39,617 --> 00:06:40,868
I haven't.
161
00:06:40,869 --> 00:06:43,320
I've been meaning to,
but who has the time?
162
00:06:43,321 --> 00:06:45,889
Let's get you
to the hospital.
163
00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:50,110
So this is how it ends...
164
00:06:50,111 --> 00:06:52,246
with cruel irony.
165
00:06:52,247 --> 00:06:54,531
Just as I make the commitment
to preserving my body,
166
00:06:54,532 --> 00:06:58,085
I am betrayed by my appendix,
a vestigial organ.
167
00:06:58,086 --> 00:06:59,453
Do you know
168
00:06:59,454 --> 00:07:01,555
the original purpose
of the appendix, Leonard?
169
00:07:01,556 --> 00:07:02,656
No.
170
00:07:02,657 --> 00:07:04,842
I do. And yet I'm doomed
171
00:07:04,843 --> 00:07:06,510
while you live on.
172
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,681
Funny how things
work out, isn't it?
173
00:07:10,682 --> 00:07:14,384
Oh, Lord, I think
it's about to burst!
174
00:07:14,385 --> 00:07:17,371
(loud fart)
175
00:07:17,372 --> 00:07:19,472
On the other hand,
176
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:22,192
it might have been
the Brussels sprouts.
177
00:07:23,578 --> 00:07:25,746
Good night.
178
00:07:25,747 --> 00:07:26,997
Good night.
(door closes)
179
00:07:26,998 --> 00:07:28,648
Appendicitis.
180
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,335
What a nervous Nelly.
181
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:35,956
Penny! Penny!
182
00:07:35,957 --> 00:07:37,708
Penny!
183
00:07:37,709 --> 00:07:40,627
Coming, coming.
184
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,546
Hey, nice knees.
185
00:07:42,547 --> 00:07:43,630
Thank you.
186
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:44,664
They're my mother's.
187
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:47,184
Oh.
And the Flash
shirt is what?
188
00:07:47,185 --> 00:07:49,186
Because, what,
you're gonna run really fast?
189
00:07:49,187 --> 00:07:51,939
No, the Flash shirt is
because it's Friday,
190
00:07:51,940 --> 00:07:54,391
but it's nice when
things work out.
191
00:07:54,392 --> 00:07:56,476
- Where's your heart rate monitor?
- I don't have one.
192
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,278
- What about your pedometer?-
- Don't have one.
193
00:07:58,279 --> 00:08:00,814
Do you have telematics
in your shoes connected
to an iPod?
194
00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:02,733
- Uh, no.
- What do you do,
195
00:08:02,734 --> 00:08:06,153
you just go out there
and gambol about
like a bunny?
196
00:08:06,154 --> 00:08:10,791
No. I just run till I'm hungry,
then I stop for a bear claw.
197
00:08:14,212 --> 00:08:15,528
Why are you doing that?
198
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:18,165
It's good to stretch your
muscles before you run.
199
00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:19,416
- All right.
- All right,
200
00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:20,634
let's start with a toe touch.
201
00:08:20,635 --> 00:08:23,053
(exhales)
202
00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:30,677
Okay, you do it.
203
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,646
I am doing it.
204
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,349
Oh. Wow. Good job.
205
00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:36,567
Okay, um,
206
00:08:36,568 --> 00:08:38,268
can you do this?
207
00:08:39,988 --> 00:08:42,055
We'll never know.
208
00:08:42,056 --> 00:08:44,358
Okay, let's just warm up
on the run.
209
00:08:44,359 --> 00:08:45,943
- Okay.
- Okay, let's go.
210
00:08:45,944 --> 00:08:48,028
I've been reading up
on biomechanics.
211
00:08:48,029 --> 00:08:49,846
I think you'll be
surprised at my...
212
00:08:49,847 --> 00:08:52,216
(both yell
and tumbling down stairs)
213
00:08:52,217 --> 00:08:54,384
PENNY:
Oh, my God,
are you okay?
214
00:08:54,385 --> 00:08:55,519
SHELDON:
I think so.
215
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,854
- Oh, let me help you up.
- Thank you.
216
00:08:57,855 --> 00:09:00,190
(loud fart)
217
00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:02,626
Oh, Sheldon!
218
00:09:02,627 --> 00:09:04,628
If it makes you
feel any better,
219
00:09:04,629 --> 00:09:08,131
Thursday is no longer
Cruciferous Vegetable Night.
220
00:09:09,350 --> 00:09:11,768
Here's my chicken curry.
221
00:09:11,769 --> 00:09:13,186
Howard, your
shrimp biryani.
222
00:09:13,187 --> 00:09:15,272
- Thank you, sir.
- Palak paneer, that's Penny.
223
00:09:15,273 --> 00:09:18,025
- Thanks.
- And for Rajesh Koothrappali,
224
00:09:18,026 --> 00:09:20,193
from whose homeland
these tasty dishes originate,
225
00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:22,595
one large order of
chicken McNuggets.
226
00:09:25,617 --> 00:09:27,951
- Hey, what's my share?
- Uh... 12 bucks.
227
00:09:27,952 --> 00:09:30,487
- Okay, can I get you after Friday when I get paid?
- Sure.
228
00:09:30,488 --> 00:09:32,239
What am I up to now?
229
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,574
Well, okay, with
the Indian food, the pizza,
230
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,609
the Thai food, the tank of gas,
231
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,278
the frozen yogurt
232
00:09:38,279 --> 00:09:40,580
and your rent, uh...
233
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:43,450
a little over $1,400.
234
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,336
(both snickering)
235
00:09:46,337 --> 00:09:47,671
What now?
236
00:09:47,672 --> 00:09:49,640
He's just expressing
his admiration that
237
00:09:49,641 --> 00:09:53,460
you don't even have to
put out to get free stuff.
238
00:09:56,064 --> 00:09:59,349
It's not free-- I'm
gonna pay him back.
239
00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:00,584
(snickering)
240
00:10:00,585 --> 00:10:03,520
Shut up!
241
00:10:03,521 --> 00:10:05,922
Sheldon, are you gonna join us?
242
00:10:05,923 --> 00:10:07,491
Coming!
243
00:10:21,873 --> 00:10:24,091
Greetings, friends.
244
00:10:24,092 --> 00:10:27,127
Greetings, whatever
the hell you are.
245
00:10:27,128 --> 00:10:30,564
I am a mobile
virtual presence device.
246
00:10:30,565 --> 00:10:32,149
Recent events
247
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:35,585
have demonstrated to me
that my body is too fragile
248
00:10:35,586 --> 00:10:38,088
to endure the vicissitudes
of the world.
249
00:10:38,089 --> 00:10:40,557
Until such time as I am able
250
00:10:40,558 --> 00:10:41,992
to transfer my consciousness,
251
00:10:41,993 --> 00:10:44,828
I shall remain
in a secure location
252
00:10:44,829 --> 00:10:48,181
and interact with the world
in this manner.
253
00:10:48,983 --> 00:10:50,367
Really? That's
your question--
254
00:10:50,368 --> 00:10:52,903
when did he
put a ramp in?
255
00:10:59,177 --> 00:11:01,194
You're in my spot.
256
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,932
This may seem a little odd
at first,
257
00:11:14,933 --> 00:11:17,585
but over time,
you'll grow accustomed
258
00:11:17,586 --> 00:11:20,838
to dealing with me
in this configuration.
259
00:11:20,839 --> 00:11:23,774
Yeah, to be honest, I
don't see much difference.
260
00:11:23,775 --> 00:11:24,975
Thank you.
261
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:27,194
That's what I was going for.
262
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,899
Now, Leonard, tomorrow,
when we go to work,
263
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,851
you'll need to allow
some extra time
264
00:11:33,852 --> 00:11:35,669
to get me down the stairs.
265
00:11:35,670 --> 00:11:40,291
For your convenience,
I disassemble into four pieces.
266
00:11:40,292 --> 00:11:41,375
This is ridiculous.
267
00:11:41,376 --> 00:11:42,543
I'm coming to talk to you.
268
00:11:42,544 --> 00:11:44,845
(stammers)
You don't know where I am.
269
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,883
My physical body
is safely ensconced
270
00:11:48,884 --> 00:11:51,585
in a secure,
undisclosed location.
271
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,187
You're in your bedroom.
272
00:11:53,188 --> 00:11:54,772
No, I'm not.
273
00:11:54,773 --> 00:11:58,108
I can hear your voice
coming from your bedroom.
274
00:11:59,311 --> 00:12:01,445
(softly):
No, you can't.
275
00:12:03,532 --> 00:12:04,782
Wait.
276
00:12:04,783 --> 00:12:06,150
Come back.
277
00:12:06,151 --> 00:12:07,434
Halt.
278
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:10,821
Authorized personnel only!
279
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,307
So, either one
of you weirdos
280
00:12:13,308 --> 00:12:16,310
want to buy my underwear?
Only 1,400 bucks.
281
00:12:20,632 --> 00:12:22,800
Sheldon,
this is ridiculous.
282
00:12:22,801 --> 00:12:24,368
I'm behind you.
283
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:27,588
Please look at me when
you're talking to me.
284
00:12:27,589 --> 00:12:29,089
I am looking at you.
285
00:12:29,090 --> 00:12:30,374
No, you're not.
286
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,843
Pay no attention to
that man in the bed.
287
00:12:32,844 --> 00:12:34,144
You cannot exist
288
00:12:34,145 --> 00:12:35,896
as a virtual presence.
289
00:12:35,897 --> 00:12:37,765
Not here
and certainly not at work.
290
00:12:37,766 --> 00:12:39,633
Oh, good God.
291
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,201
At my age,
do you know
292
00:12:41,202 --> 00:12:44,054
how I'm statistically
most likely to die?
293
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:46,340
At the hands of your roommate?
294
00:12:46,341 --> 00:12:47,908
An accident.
295
00:12:47,909 --> 00:12:50,377
That's how I'm going
to make it look.
296
00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:53,013
Until I can transfer
my intellect
297
00:12:53,014 --> 00:12:54,315
to a more durable container,
298
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:57,084
my body will remain
safely ensconced in my bed.
299
00:12:57,085 --> 00:12:59,136
Fine, but don't expect my help.
300
00:12:59,137 --> 00:13:01,705
You have to help--
it's in the roommate agreement.
301
00:13:01,706 --> 00:13:03,223
No, it's not.
302
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,528
Section 74.C.
303
00:13:07,529 --> 00:13:10,047
The various obligations
and duties of the parties
304
00:13:10,048 --> 00:13:13,684
in the event one of
them becomes a robot.
305
00:13:14,552 --> 00:13:17,371
I'll be damned.
306
00:13:27,732 --> 00:13:29,533
This is delightful.
307
00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:31,535
Uh-huh.
308
00:13:31,536 --> 00:13:33,821
It's much easier to enjoy
309
00:13:33,822 --> 00:13:35,823
the picturesque route
we travel to work
310
00:13:35,824 --> 00:13:39,043
when you remove the specter
of fiery vehicular death.
311
00:13:39,044 --> 00:13:40,327
Refresh my memory.
312
00:13:40,328 --> 00:13:42,880
Why didn't I just put you
in the trunk?
313
00:13:42,881 --> 00:13:45,883
Because I called shotgun.
Remember?
314
00:13:45,884 --> 00:13:48,552
Right.
315
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,892
You seem tense.
316
00:13:54,893 --> 00:13:57,594
Perhaps this will relax you.
317
00:13:57,595 --> 00:14:00,314
(peaceful recorder music
playing)
318
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,739
I don't want to listen
to music, Sheldon.
319
00:14:10,992 --> 00:14:12,359
Very well.
320
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:16,246
I don't understand
why you're not enjoying this.
321
00:14:16,247 --> 00:14:20,784
Together, in this car,
with my enhanced capabilities,
322
00:14:20,785 --> 00:14:23,287
we're like Knight Rider.
323
00:14:23,288 --> 00:14:27,124
Except in Knight Rider, the car
isn't a yammering sphincter.
324
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,077
You mock the sphincter,
325
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,846
but the sphincter
is a class of muscle
326
00:14:32,847 --> 00:14:35,299
without which human beings
couldn't survive.
327
00:14:38,386 --> 00:14:40,637
There are over 50
different sphincters
328
00:14:40,638 --> 00:14:42,306
in the human body.
329
00:14:42,307 --> 00:14:44,692
How many can you name?
330
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,595
I was wrong-- this is exactly
like Knight Rider.
331
00:14:49,731 --> 00:14:51,732
Perhaps you'd be interested
in a different game.
332
00:14:51,733 --> 00:14:53,200
No.
333
00:14:53,201 --> 00:14:54,785
This is a photograph of the 1911
334
00:14:54,786 --> 00:14:58,205
Solvay Conference on the theory
of radiation and quanta.
335
00:14:58,206 --> 00:15:02,710
Using Photoshop, I've
introduced a few anachronisms.
336
00:15:02,711 --> 00:15:05,079
See if you can spot all 24.
337
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,580
I'll give you the first one.
338
00:15:06,581 --> 00:15:10,884
Madame Curie should not
be wearing a digital watch.
339
00:15:10,885 --> 00:15:12,252
And go.
340
00:15:12,253 --> 00:15:14,671
(Jeopardy! theme playing
over recorder)
341
00:15:14,672 --> 00:15:16,289
That's it. Bye-bye.
342
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,759
(music stops)
343
00:15:20,145 --> 00:15:21,261
- Bazinga.
- Whoa!
344
00:15:21,262 --> 00:15:23,347
(tires screeching, horn honking)
345
00:15:23,348 --> 00:15:25,649
I have an override switch.
346
00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:27,267
I almost died!
347
00:15:27,268 --> 00:15:29,770
And I'm safe and sound in bed.
348
00:15:29,771 --> 00:15:31,939
Who's crazy now?
349
00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:34,641
I'm still going
to go with you.
350
00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:42,649
Hello, Professor Hoskins.
351
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,369
Nice to see you, Mindy.
352
00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:48,172
And konnichiwa, Dr. Nakamora.
353
00:15:48,173 --> 00:15:51,825
Sorry the Swedes
disproved your theory.
354
00:15:58,850 --> 00:16:00,851
Leonard, my door.
355
00:16:00,852 --> 00:16:02,086
What about it?
356
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:04,905
Be a lamb and open it for me.
357
00:16:04,906 --> 00:16:06,857
Why? What's the problem?
358
00:16:12,747 --> 00:16:15,682
You think you have me stymied,
don't you?
359
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:19,153
No, I think a doorknob
has you stymied.
360
00:16:20,655 --> 00:16:23,707
Oh, look, it's Leonard
and R2-D-Bag.
361
00:16:25,493 --> 00:16:27,211
That's my joke.
I told it last night.
362
00:16:27,212 --> 00:16:29,496
You can't just use it.
363
00:16:29,497 --> 00:16:32,883
Raj, be a lamb
and open the door for me.
364
00:16:32,884 --> 00:16:35,469
Oh, sure.
365
00:16:37,722 --> 00:16:39,256
He's a lamb.
366
00:16:39,257 --> 00:16:41,058
You're not.
367
00:16:43,478 --> 00:16:45,679
I'm a lamb.
368
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,783
Isn't this nice?
369
00:16:49,784 --> 00:16:53,020
The pleasures of fellowship
and camaraderie
370
00:16:53,021 --> 00:16:57,191
without having to tolerate
your germy breath on my skin.
371
00:16:57,192 --> 00:16:59,276
I say we just take him
to Tatooine
372
00:16:59,277 --> 00:17:01,245
and sell him to some Jawas.
373
00:17:01,246 --> 00:17:02,913
That's two, dude.
374
00:17:02,914 --> 00:17:04,665
Write your own jokes.
375
00:17:05,867 --> 00:17:07,784
Oh, great.
376
00:17:07,785 --> 00:17:09,569
(clears throat)
377
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,455
Hi, I'm Penny,
I'll be your waitress.
378
00:17:11,456 --> 00:17:13,090
Why are you introducing
yourself?
379
00:17:13,091 --> 00:17:14,258
I'd rather people not know
380
00:17:14,259 --> 00:17:16,793
I have any prior connection
to you whatsoever.
381
00:17:17,679 --> 00:17:19,963
Can you tell me
the specials this evening?
382
00:17:19,964 --> 00:17:21,465
Sheldon, I'm not waiting on you.
383
00:17:21,466 --> 00:17:22,449
Obviously.
384
00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:24,668
I don't even have
water yet.
385
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,220
Because you're not here.
386
00:17:26,221 --> 00:17:29,690
That's discrimination
against the otherwise located.
387
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,609
I'm going to have
to go over your head.
388
00:17:34,779 --> 00:17:38,432
Manager... manager.
389
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:42,152
Oh, Lord,
look who it is.
390
00:17:42,987 --> 00:17:45,322
Is that Steve Wozniak?
391
00:17:45,323 --> 00:17:46,206
I think it is.
392
00:17:46,207 --> 00:17:48,976
The Great and Powerful Woz.
393
00:17:49,794 --> 00:17:50,827
Penny,
Steve Wozniak was
394
00:17:50,828 --> 00:17:51,795
one of the co-founders
395
00:17:51,796 --> 00:17:52,996
of Apple Computer.
396
00:17:52,997 --> 00:17:54,414
- He and Steve Jobs started it...
- Yeah,
397
00:17:54,415 --> 00:17:56,583
I know who he is.
I watch Dancing with the Stars.
398
00:17:57,635 --> 00:17:59,636
I must speak to him.
399
00:17:59,637 --> 00:18:01,054
Of course you must.
400
00:18:03,558 --> 00:18:05,759
You know, there's an
Olive Garden down the street.
401
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,312
You guys should try it sometime.
402
00:18:08,313 --> 00:18:11,298
Excuse me,
Mr. Wozniak?
403
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:12,466
Oh, hey.
404
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,368
Nice virtual presence device.
405
00:18:14,369 --> 00:18:15,352
Thank you.
406
00:18:15,353 --> 00:18:17,905
I just want to say
I'm a big fan.
407
00:18:17,906 --> 00:18:21,842
You're my 15th favorite
technological visionary.
408
00:18:21,843 --> 00:18:23,493
Only 15th?
409
00:18:23,494 --> 00:18:27,097
It's still six spots
above Steve Jobs.
410
00:18:28,016 --> 00:18:29,449
I care neither for turtlenecks
411
00:18:29,450 --> 00:18:31,318
nor showmanship.
412
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:34,688
Yeah, I never got
that turtleneck thing.
413
00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:38,625
One of my proudest possessions
is a vintage 1977 Apple II.
414
00:18:38,626 --> 00:18:43,146
Despite the file system
limitations of Apple DOS 3.3,
415
00:18:43,147 --> 00:18:45,449
it was a pretty nifty
little achievement.
416
00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:47,734
Thanks, we were shooting
for "nifty."
417
00:18:48,536 --> 00:18:49,586
You know, if you had it here,
418
00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,188
I'd autograph it for you.
419
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,424
Don't move
for 15 to 30 minutes,
420
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:57,127
depending on how
the buses are running.
421
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:01,398
Nerds.
422
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,484
(panting)
423
00:19:04,485 --> 00:19:06,803
I'm coming, Woz, I'm coming.
424
00:19:06,804 --> 00:19:07,771
(gasps)
Ow!
425
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:09,122
(clattering)
Oh!
426
00:19:09,123 --> 00:19:12,125
(shattering)
427
00:19:12,126 --> 00:19:14,328
Aw.
428
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:29,810
Penny... Penny... Penny.
429
00:19:31,696 --> 00:19:33,814
What up, Shel-Bot?
430
00:19:33,815 --> 00:19:35,683
I can't get out of bed.
431
00:19:35,684 --> 00:19:37,068
I hurt my ankle.
432
00:19:37,069 --> 00:19:38,652
What do you want me to do?
433
00:19:38,653 --> 00:19:40,988
Sing me "Soft Kitty."
434
00:19:40,989 --> 00:19:43,691
Really, you want me
to sing "Soft Kitty"
435
00:19:43,692 --> 00:19:45,326
to a computer monitor?
436
00:19:45,327 --> 00:19:48,162
Would you rather come over
and sing it to me in person?
437
00:19:48,163 --> 00:19:51,449
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
438
00:19:51,450 --> 00:19:53,334
♪ Little ball of fur... ♪
439
00:19:53,335 --> 00:19:55,953
Closer to the microphone.
440
00:19:55,954 --> 00:19:59,256
♪ Happy kitty,
sleepy... ♪
441
00:19:59,257 --> 00:20:01,525
No.
442
00:20:01,526 --> 00:20:04,795
You have to start over.
443
00:20:04,796 --> 00:20:08,132
♪ Soft kitty,
warm kitty ♪
444
00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:11,268
♪ Little ball of fur ♪
445
00:20:11,269 --> 00:20:14,071
♪ Happy kitty,
sleepy kitty ♪
446
00:20:14,072 --> 00:20:15,423
♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
447
00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:19,158
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --